After a successful solo trip to Adventure Island and Thorpe Park the other week, I decided to make the most of my time off work before starting my new job and go on another trip away. And given that I only had one real semi-major park left to visit in the UK, I thought; what better park to do than that? So as a result, I strategised quite a spur-of-the-moment trip to the Midlands, consisting of both a first time visit to Fantasy Island in Lincolnshire after talking about going for a couple of years and a Merlin pass visit to Alton Towers (I know I was only last in Alton Towers 4 weeks ago, but the entry is free, I want to make use of my Merlin pass, it’s close to my choice of halfway point and I like Towers. Sue me!).

In order to break up the ridiculously long rail journey to Skegness from my location (5+ hours), I decided to stay in Nottingham for 2 nights and travel up yesterday. I don’t have a huge amount to say about yesterday, but as a first-time visitor to Nottingham (and aside from a stop in Trowell services along the M1, the East Midlands full stop!), I did amble quite steadily to my hotel and try and take in my surroundings, and I did see these cool Robin Hood statues by the castle:

I also came within touching distance of David off the recent series of Celebrity Traitors in Nottingham station on my way up, which I’m putting down as my most noteworthy celebrity sighting!

Other than that, I can’t think of much else to mention. Nottingham is a lot like any other town centre in Britain, with some nice old buildings, but my hotel is in the student district near Nottingham Trent University and that has seen me be immersed in amongst some… interesting crowds at times.

Anyway, let’s get onto the meat of the first park day…

23rd April 2026: Fantasy Island

My Fantasy Island day started early. I got up at 6am, rope dropped breakfast in the hotel at 6:30am (I’m not sure that expression works quite as well outside of a theme park context…) and made my way to the station at just after 7am in time for a 7:41 train to Skegness. This train took a bit over 2 hours and was very prompt, although I have to say that the line between Grantham and Skegness has some of the bounciest sections of railway line I’ve ever ridden… after getting off the train, I got onto a very opportunely timed bus to Ingoldmells, passing key sights of the area like Botton’s Pleasure Beach (unfortunately closed, or else I might have considered grabbing the creds!) and Butlin’s. This got me to the park with plenty of time to spare:

Upon reaching Fantasy Island, it wasn’t even 10:30am and the rides opened at 11am, so I had some time to kill. Seeing as I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going either, I decided to have a wander around and take a few pictures:

Now this is where I was getting my first feel for Fantasy Island as a park, and at this point, I feel I should insert in some stray observations.

Firstly, I have to say that it’s possibly one of the strangest parks I’ve ever visited. It’s a park of quite distinct halves, more so than perhaps any other I’ve been to; the indoor section is surprisingly heavily themed and atmospheric, whereas the outdoor section has a very permanent funfair-type atmosphere with little to no theming or atmosphere building.

Possibly the oddest thing I noticed was the 7-day market; the park has a huge market at its heart with a very eclectic variety of stalls, to say the least. I didn’t browse the market too heavily (or at all, for that matter), but I saw clothes, homeware, garden apparel, towels, weaponry, off-brand merchandise for different brands, and even places where you seemingly could get body modifications including botox (?!). It almost reminded me of going to America for the first time and seeing that you could buy firearms in the same aisle as a roast chicken in Walmart; the range of items is very wide, very odd, and not what I would immediately associate with a theme park. It’s not really my cup of tea, but if you want to ride roller coasters and shop for a wide variety of oddities in the same day, Fantasy Island is the place for you!

Anyhow, let me get to the rides. The rides were running in rotation today (hence my not immediately intuitive order of doing them), so I decided to start my day with the key coaster draw that was open for the first 2.5 hours of the day…

Millennium

Millennium was the thrill coaster open for the first period of the day, so I decided to start there. I was the first person in the queue, so resultantly, I was in the front row of the first train of the day at 11am. It’s great when that happens! So, how was it? Well, I’d always heard of Millennium being referred to as “the smoothest old Vekoma around”, and it was indeed very smooth… but on my first ride, I wasn’t immediately wowed as it seemed like there were large swathes that just… didn’t do a whole lot. Some of the inversions were fun, but on my first ride, there wasn’t a whole lot of kick and it just seemed to trundle around a lot. However, this first ride was also very cold, which was definitely a distractor when I wasn’t yet into the swing of riding for the day, and I didn’t quite have a full feel for the ride yet, so I decided not to make a snap judgement call there. All in all, my initial ride on Millennium was good fun, but not something that immediately wowed me. There is more to come from Millennium later in the day, however:

After Millennium, I decided to stay in the pyramid and go for a dark ride…

Harrington Flint’s Island Adventures

Harrington Flint was nearby, open and walk-on, so I decided to take a ride on there. I was aware that Harrington Flint is a fairly unique dark ride, being the UK’s only use of trackless technology, and also a relatively recent addition, so I was intrigued to see what it was like. So, how was it? Well, I have to say that it was quite a fun little ride! It’s predominantly screen-based, but the screen quality is quite good, and there are some nice bits of physical theming too. I also got 61,000, which as someone who’s rubbish at interactive dark rides, I’m not going to complain about! All in all, then, I enjoyed Harrington Flint; I thought it was a surprisingly well-done ride for a park of this calibre, and I definitely thought it had nice theming and was good fun:

After Harrington Flint, I headed back outside to try a flat ride I was wanting to get on…

Volcano

Volcano was open and walk-on, so I decided to have a ride on there. While I have ridden S&S shot towers plenty of times before, I always enjoy a tower ride, so I was keen to get on Volcano at least once today. As I just mentioned, I walked straight onto the ride, and as I was the only person approaching, I got a completely solo ride, which is always interesting! But how was the ride? Well, I always like a tower ride, and this was quite a good one; the upwards launch was punchy, and there was a very nice pop of air at the top! As S&S shot towers go, I’d say Volcano is one of the better ones I’ve done; I’d certainly take it comfortably over my last memory of Ice Blast (pre-revamp) at Blackpool, for example. I do think my preference overall errs towards a regular drop tower like Detonator over a shot tower, but the shot towers are still great fun and I still thoroughly enjoyed Volcano; at this point of the day, it was perhaps my favourite attraction:

After Volcano, I headed for another coaster…

Rhombus Express

Rhombus Express was once again walk-on (you’re going to get bored of me saying this…), so I decided to take a ride on there. I waltzed straight onto the back row; if Runaway Mine Train at Alton is anything to go by, back is always my seat of choice on a powered coaster! So, how was the ride? Well, I find family powered coasters can be a bit hit and miss, with some like Runaway Mine Train at Alton Towers falling into “surprisingly fun underdog” territory and others like Jormungandr at Drayton Manor being much of a muchness. To my delight, Rhombus Express falls into the former category; this thing absolutely flies! Powered coasters never have overly intense layouts, but this one is taken at some speed and has some great helixes that pack surprising punch; there’s one towards the end in particular that has some really surprising kick! All in all, then, I thought Rhombus Express was an excellent powered coaster that took me by surprise; it falls squarely into that Runaway Mine Train bracket of packing surprising thrills for a family coaster, and as the traditional powered coasters go, it’s right up there with RMT and Europa Park’s previous Alpenexpress as one of the best for me:

After Rhombus Express, I headed over to the other side of the park to get another new coaster in…

Apple Coaster

As many of you will know, I don’t typically do kiddie coasters (although I’m honestly starting to question whether I can say that anymore…), but as Apple Coaster was walk-on and had no one in the vicinity, I decided to give this particular kiddie cred a try. In this particular case, I was actually the only one on the train, so I was batched right at the front on the caterpillar’s face! In terms of the ride itself, there’s not really an awful lot to say; it’s a big apple, and these coasters are what they are:

After Apple Coaster, I headed for another ride on Millennium. I was seated in row 4 this time, and for some reason, it definitely clicked much more than the first time! The ride overall seemed more potent and thrilling, and I felt like even some of the gentler sections were more fun and had slightly more purpose. While the layout is quite odd and does have its dead spots, I quite like how the ride almost feels a bit like an adventure around the park; it’s quite good fun to ride! It’s maybe more than the sum of its parts in this sense, and towards the end of the layout, the ride does try to inject a little more spice into the scenic sections:

After my reride on Millennium, I had a reride on Volcano, which was my longest queue of the day at the heady heights of 10-15 minutes (only 2 cycles, though). Once again, the ride was great fun, with a punchy launch and some great airtime at the top:

After my reride on Volcano, I headed for a reride on Rhombus Express. I only waited one cycle, I sat on the back once again, and the ride was once again a surprisingly good powered coaster; I do have a soft spot for a powered coaster that has a surprising kick:

After my reride on Rhombus Express, I sat down in the pyramid and had lunch. I was frugal on this occasion and had purchased a Co-op meal deal in Nottingham station, but I did get the added bonus of seeing a surprisingly elaborate-looking projection mapping show, complete with lighting, voiceover and fake snow, while I was sat in the pyramid. This was a nice touch and fun to watch, but perfectly sums up my point from earlier about the park being one of two halves, I feel; you almost wouldn’t think the pyramid and the outdoor area were in the same park.

After lunch, I went for not one, but two back-to-back rerides on Millennium. One was in row 3 and one was in the back, and once again, these were good fun; the ride definitely grew on me after my initial ride in the morning:

I then went for another reride on Rhombus Express. The host had changed and I was made to sit in row 2 this time, but I still only waited one cycle and the ride was still really good fun; even in the front, it packed a punch:

After my reride on Rhombus Express, I went for one final reride on Millennium. I walked onto row 3, and the ride was once again really good fun; despite my cold demeanour towards it in the morning, it had definitely risen in my estimations with additional rides to fall solidly into “good little ride, that” territory by the time it shut for the day. It’s not quite overall top quartile or UK top 10 material for me, but it’s a good, fun ride for sure and probably my favourite coaster across any of the 4 East Coast parks I’ve been to (Fantasy Island, Adventure Island, Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach and Pleasurewood Hills):

After my final reride on Millennium, the next ride rotation was about to open (the open rides, aside from a select few that stayed open all day, changed at 1:30pm), so I decided to pre-emptively get into the queue for my other main draw to Fantasy Island…

Odyssey

It was approaching 1:30pm, so I decided to head over to Odyssey and pre-emptively wait for it to open. The changeover maybe wasn’t completely seamless, so the ride ended up opening at more like 1:45pm after some minutes of waiting for the staff to arrive and pre-testing. Even still, I was one of the first on the first train of the day, so I walked straight into row 2; I can never quibble with that, even if I might have liked the front for my first go! So, how did I find Odyssey? Well, despite it being an SLC, Odyssey seems to get a fair amount of praise, so with Kumali also being pretty enjoyable and proving to me that SLCs are not a complete lost cause as a ride type if they aren’t the standard layout, I entered Odyssey with some cautious optimism. As much as I Ioathe Infusion, I do love a big, fast coaster, so I thought; surely Odyssey’s sheer height and speed will make it a fairly decent ride, even if not top end material? Alas, these hopes were dashed upon hitting the bottom of the first drop, where I quickly realised that a big, fast SLC is sadly still an SLC. The rush down towards the ground is pretty impressive, but as soon as you pull any kind of force, the train just bashes you around horribly; it bounced up and down aggressively to such an extent that it made my stomach hurt while also relentlessly bashing your head between the restraints. The first couple of elements are undeniably impressive in scale, but are so rough that they’re difficult to enjoy, and after that, it just seems to devolve into doing very little aside from being utterly brutal and beating you up high above the ground. I dearly wanted Odyssey to be an underdog like Kumali, but for me, I’m afraid the ride just wasn’t enjoyable at all, I definitely found it overhyped, and I’d go as far as to say that after my first ride, I perhaps controversially rated it right down there with Infusion (I’m genuinely not sure whether I actually preferred it to my last go on Infusion, in fact) and was stunned that a coaster of such scale could be so awful to ride. I felt I should give it another go later to be fair, however:

After my first ride on Odyssey, I headed to go and grab my final credit of the day…

Snow Drift

Snow Drift had just opened and was the last coaster I needed and was able to ride at Fantasy Island (being well over 1.6m tall, I didn’t even attempt Jellikins), so I headed to take a ride on it. I only waited one car or so for my ride; I can never complain about that! So, how was it? Well, I discovered that despite this apparently being a Mellors-built coaster, it is basically a clone of the Reverchon spinning wild mice that I know and hate, and resultantly, it just wasn’t a ride experience I enjoyed. I just don’t like the strong laterals on these wild mouse coasters, and while this one wasn’t an outstandingly bad example of the ride type, none of them are coasters I rate simply due to the intrinsic nature of them not being something I overly enjoy:

After Snow Drift, I went for a reride on Odyssey, hoping for it to redeem itself and for us to have a repeat of the Millennium saga from earlier in the day. Alas, I was in row 2 again, and such hopes were quickly dashed; it was just as awful as it was the first time:

Feeling slightly delicate after a rough ride on Odyssey, I then decided to go into the pyramid to find something else to do. I resultantly went on a bit of a journey of discovery doing a few random attractions, starting with…

Toucan Tours

I had no idea what Toucan Tours was, but the entrance made it sound intriguing, so I decided to give it a go. I waited around 5 minutes for this, with 1 or 2 cars of people in front of me, so it was another short wait that I couldn’t complain about. So, how was it? And what was it, for that matter? Well, it turned out that Toucan Tours was a sweet little monorail attraction that started with some nice panoramic views of the pyramid area before going into a few dark ride scenes. The dark ride scenes were relatively static, for the most part, but I found the whole thing quite endearing! It was a very nice little attraction, with some nice physical theming and set pieces, and I would say it was a real hidden gem:

After getting off Toucan Tours, I continued my journey of discovery in the pyramid with a ride on…

Seaquarium

Seaquarium was nearby and I’d seen the entrance while on Toucan Tours, so as it was also an attraction I’d had recommended to me, I decided to take a ride on there. Again, it was walk-on, which is a bonus, and again, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect; I had an inkling it was a dark ride, but other than that, I wasn’t really sure. So, how was it? Well, like Toucan Tours above, I have to say that I found Seaquarium to be an absolute hidden gem of an attraction; what a lovely little dark ride! There was lots of moving scenery, there was lots to look at, and all in all, I just found the whole thing very sweet! It was certainly an enjoyable dark ride, and I’m very glad I stumbled across it:

After getting off Seaquarium, I decided to have a go on the attraction whose entrance was next to it…

The Guardian

The Guardian’s entrance was next door to Seaquarium, so in the spirit of continuing my journey of discovery in the pyramid, I decided to have a go on there. I remember it being built, but I’ll admit I had very little idea of what was actually in here once again. To add to the anticipation, I spent a few minutes wondering if it was actually open, as I stood alone on some stairs in front of a random door for a good few minutes… it felt very weird being the only one stood in front of this door while looking over children doing the Macarena on the stage below (incidentally, this gave me flashbacks to our hotel in PortAventura, where the Macarena was the subject of the children’s entertainment and we could quietly overhear it every night while having a drink)! The 1.4m height restriction and enclosed nature certainly sent my mind racing, and I initially had inklings in my head of a Top Scan, for some reason (?), but then I did remember something about a robotic arm, so was not too surprised when the ride turned out to be a robotic arm. What I didn’t expect, however, was the inclusion of a curved screen telling a story, thus making the composite ride experience something akin to a pound shop flying theatre. And you know what, it actually works surprisingly well! When combining the robotic arm movements with the story on screen, it did make for a nice little themed experience! I also didn’t find the robotic arm movements too intense; I sometimes found that Forbidden Journey at Universal, which uses similar robotic arm technology, made me a little bit motion sick, but this didn’t seem as bad, bizarrely. All in all, then, I thought The Guardian was a very simple, but effective themed attraction, and yet again, I’d say it falls very nicely into the bracket of “hidden gem”:

After getting off The Guardian, I went back outside and perhaps against my better judgement, I decided to give Odyssey one final chance. I was seated on the front this time, so I wondered if it might be better, but while the sense of speed was heightened somewhat, the ride was sadly every bit as bad as before if not worse. With my stomach really hurting and my ears throbbing after a particularly hard whack during that last ride (that my right ear still feels slightly bruised from now), I decided at that point that I’d given Odyssey enough chances and was unlikely to ever rate it. With it being the park’s arguable crown jewel and such a big, fast ride, I really, really wanted to like it, but I sadly just didn’t at all. I’m sorry to say it, but when I think of the actual ride experience, I don’t think I’ve ever ridden a coaster that huge with so few redeeming qualities. As much as the size is impressive and it’s undeniably unique, the ride experience is no better than regular old Infusion for me, which means it’s really not something I rate at all:

After my reride on Odyssey, I headed over to Rhombus Express for another reride. I was sat in row 14 this time, and it was once again a really good, fun powered coaster; it flies around the layout and really does pack a punch in places:

After my Rhombus Express reride, I decided to head for a flat ride…

Star Flyer

It dawned on me that as ubiquitous as they are, I’d never actually ridden a Star Flyer before, so as Fantasy Island had one that was walk-on, I decided to give it a go. So, how was my first experience of a Star Flyer? Well, it was certainly an interesting ride experience! As much as I’m not generally a huge lover of flats, the spinning wasn’t too intense on this, and it was quite exhilarating flying high above the ground and having the wind rush into your face:

After Star Flyer, I had a final reride on Rhombus Express. I was sat in the back once again, and it was once again really good fun:

After that Rhombus Express reride, I closed out my day with a final new flat ride…

Techno Jump

Techno Jump was walk-on, so as it was a style of flat ride I’d never done before, I decided to take a ride on there. During the era of the Retrosquad at Alton Towers, people used to rave about Mixtape, so I was intrigued to see how one of these Smashing Jumps rode. But how was it? Well, I initially thought it was quite good fun; the jumping produced some fun weightless g-forces, and the spinning wasn’t too intense! However, they ran it for a very long cycle that seemed to get progressively more intense, and I’ll admit this perhaps made it surpass my (relatively low) flat ride tolerance. Had it been a shorter cycle, I would have thought it an enjoyable ride, but the length of cycle made it a little bit much for me in this case. On a side note, a guest remark I heard on this ride really did exemplify the odd hybrid environment that Fantasy Island has cultivated. I overheard someone ask the ride operator “do you need an ID to get a tattoo in that shop over there?”, and it made me think that Fantasy Island must be one of very few places around where you can get a tattoo and ride a roller coaster in the same trip… I find it all quite peculiar, personally, but each to their own:

After getting off Techno Jump, ride close was fast approaching, so content with my day, I decided to aim for an earlier train to Nottingham and catch an Uber out of Ingoldmells to get back to Skegness and catch the train to Nottingham:

So, that brings a close to my first day at Fantasy Island in Lincolnshire! I had a really good day; I got on 23 rides in total, which is not to be sniffed at in the space of under 5 hours, and I was glad to get the +5, get on Millennium and Odyssey for the first time, and see my final semi-major UK park! It does feel pretty good to have completed the semi-major UK parks and seen everything that’s a major draw coasters-wise; now that my most notable unridden UK coaster has gone drastically down in magnitude to some Pinfari somewhere, I can live with that!

As for Fantasy Island itself; as I inferred further up, I found it an odd park. As I’ve reiterated multiple times, it’s a park of two such distinct halves that they almost don’t feel like the same park. The pyramid area is absolutely lovely, with nice theming, some real hidden gem dark rides and a general high-quality atmosphere, while the outdoor area, with a few exceptions, mostly feels like a permanent funfair with all the atmosphere of an out-of-town industrial estate. And the market is really quite an odd extra dimension… I’ve never been anywhere quite like Fantasy Island! Attractions-wise, there’s actually a surprising amount to like; as much as Odyssey was a big disappointment for me, Millennium was really good fun, Volcano was good, Rhombus Rocket was surprisingly good, the dark rides in the pyramid were good… there’s definitely a fair amount there!

Considering the distance I live from it, I’m not sure I’d specifically make the effort to return unless they built something major that warranted it, but I’d go back if I was in the area for other purposes. I’m definitely glad I went, though, and I had a good day overall!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Keep your eyes peeled for a trip report from Alton Towers tomorrow!

Today, I had my second and final day of the trip, with my first visit of the season to Thorpe Park! New though it may not be, I always love a Thorpe visit, and I couldn’t wait to get back on Hyperia, Stealth and some of my other favourite coasters in the country for my first time in 2026!

As always with a hotel stay, I ended up peaking quite early, so I caught an Uber to Thorpe from Staines that got me there at a lovely early 9:10am, meaning that I got through the turnstiles by 9:15am and was well placed to get to my first ride promptly at opening time:

After the gates were opened, I made a beeline for my first ride…

Colossus

Large crowds were sprinting towards Hyperia, but while I did go in that general direction, I went against the crowd and started my day with a ride on Colossus, as I have historically found to be a good tactical bet at Thorpe. Even with Hyperia now in the picture, this still worked very well, with me getting onto the first train of the day quite effortlessly! So, how was the ride? Well, it was OK; the first half was great, with great speed and force through the elements, and while there were some mild moments of roughness, it was by no means terrible. However, I’ll admit Colossus isn’t an absolute favourite of mine for a variety of reasons. As is well documented at this point, the trains are absolutely dreadful, with horribly tight restraints and very little legroom, but even excluding the trains, I’m not a fan of that ending with all the rolls in a row. One would be fun, but I think four at once is too many consecutively. All in all, though, Colossus was still a good start to the day, and I was certainly gratified to be off my first ride before 10:10am:

After Colossus, I headed over to another coaster…

Saw: The Ride

Saw was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so I could well have ridden it in the main queue and gotten on quickly, but being on my own and seeing that there were a fair number of people, I still decided to gamble on a further reduced wait and try the single rider queue. This proved to be fruitful, as I was on within 5 minutes and was batched into the front row of a car as soon as I got into the building; I can never moan about that, particularly when it had me getting off my second ride of the day comfortably before 10:30am! So, how was Saw? Well, I was interested to ride it after going on Rage yesterday to see how it compared, and having ridden the two a day apart, I have to say that perhaps controversially, I definitely preferred Saw! I often find the front rougher than the back on Saw, so I feared it might be bad, but other than the notable jolt between the first drop and the Immelmann, which is always a bad moment, the rest of it rode fairly well; even the post-MCBR section, while a bit rough, wasn’t too bad! In terms of how I’d compare Saw and Rage, Rage doesn’t have a bad jolt like the drop on Saw, but I don’t think the two are that different in terms of smoothness otherwise, and Saw is my definite winner in terms of layout; it’s just a lot more substantial, and I much prefer Saw’s fast pacing and surprising jolts of airtime to Rage’s focus on hangtime and tight inversions and helixes. I’d also probably say I prefer Saw to Smiler as well, with it possibly vying with Speed for the title of my favourite Gerstlauer thrill coaster based on today’s ride. Saw’s not an absolute favourite of mine, as I do still find it a bit too uncomfortable for me to fully rate it, but it was running well, all things considered, and I still enjoyed the ride overall; I do think it’s grown on me somewhat over the years:

After Saw, I decided to scope out the situation at a favourite of mine…

Hyperia

Hyperia was on an advertised 55 minute queue time, but upon exploring the situation further, I noticed that the single rider queue looked short, so I decided to take a chance. My hunch was proven correct, as I was batched onto the ride within just 10-15 minutes; I’m calling that a considerable win for single rider, as that beat the main queue considerably and is by far the quickest I’ve ever gotten on Hyperia! Perhaps a triple hit of Colossus/Saw/single rider Hyperia might be a good starting strategy to settle on at Thorpe from now on? Anyway, how was the ride? Well, I absolutely love Hyperia, and the row 9 ride I had was absolutely sublime! There’s so much to love about Hyperia, from my end; as someone who loves a good hyper coaster, the ride appeals to my tastes enormously! There are negative g-forces all over the place; that first drop is absolutely obscene, with sustained ejector all the way down, but pretty much every other element on the ride also provides wonderful negatives too! The ride also packs a phenomenal sense of speed, and as well as that, it’s wonderfully smooth and comfortable, making it a very moreish coaster that always has me looking forward to coming back to it! There’s a lot more I could say about Hyperia, but in short, I’ll just say that it’s by far my favourite coaster in Thorpe Park, comfortably my favourite coaster in the UK and sits comfortably within my top 10, most probably in my top 5. It’s enhanced this park so much coaster-wise:

After Hyperia, I headed over to the other side of the park to do another coaster I hadn’t yet done…

Nemesis Inferno

Nemesis Inferno was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. The queue ended up being longer than advertised, taking 25 minutes all in, but this still wasn’t particularly long by any stretch and this was already my 4th coaster by a little after 11am, so I wasn’t too miffed at this. But how was the ride? Well, I think Inferno is always a decent coaster; while it’s not Nemesis, I always find it an enjoyable invert in its own right, and today was no exception! I was sat in row 5, and the ride was smooth, fast and forceful, with some nice punchy inversions and a surprisingly punchy helix at the end; what’s not to like? All in all, then, I thoroughly enjoyed my ride on Nemesis Inferno; I always enjoy getting back on there:

After Inferno, I headed for yet another nearby coaster…

Stealth

Stealth was on an advertised 35 minute queue, so as I hadn’t yet ridden Stealth and I always love a ride on it, I decided to give it a go. The 35 minute advertised queue turned out to be closer to 25 in actuality; I can never complain about an overstated queue! So, how was the ride? Well, I was sat in row 9, and the ride was absolutely fantastic; I always love Stealth, and today was no exception! That launch is so wonderfully punchy, and I also love the top hat airtime and general sense of speed of the thing! I will say that the trains aren’t the most comfortable (if the ride had lap bars like Red Force, we’d be onto a winner!), but this is a minor niggle rather than a deal breaker, and it doesn’t stop me from loving every second of the ride and putting Stealth firmly in my top 20 and probably above Red Force; despite Red Force’s additional height and speed, the raw power of that hydraulic launch wins out every time for me! All in all, then, I absolutely love Stealth; it’s an absolute belter of a ride, and I definitely think a hydraulic launch is something to be celebrated with these getting ever rarer:

After Stealth, I went for a slightly early Burger King lunch to try and beat the lunchtime rush (I’m not entirely sure whether this strategy worked…), but after that, I went to tick off the final coaster I hadn’t yet done…

The Swarm

The Swarm was on an advertised 35 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t yet ridden it today, I fancied a ride on there. As with Stealth, the 35 minute advertised time was an overstatement and I waited only 25 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was it? Well, I was seated in row 5, and it was absolutely fantastic; I’ve always had a soft spot for Swarm, and today was no exception! In terms of specific things I love about the ride, it has some absolutely brilliant elements; the first drop is absolutely brilliant, boasting an awesome sense of speed as you rush towards the ground, I also like the floaty zero-g roll afterwards, and that final roll is a particular highlight, taken at just the right speed to offer some lovely out-of-your-seat hangtime without being uncomfortable! I also love the sense of speed that the winged trains provide, and the ride is also lovely and smooth! All in all, then, I loved my ride on Swarm; it’s not hard for me to see why this was once my #1 coaster, and perhaps controversially, I still have it sat in my top 20:

After I got off Swarm, there was an announcement that all outdoor rides were closing due to lightning in the vicinity, so in order to keep on riding, I initially decided to face some fears of mine and finally give The Walking Dead a go, having not ridden it since the retheme. I tried the single rider queue, but as it practically hadn’t moved after about 10 minutes and the lightning closure was short-lived, I decided after seeing Detonator running that I could maintain my Walking Dead virginity for a little longer, particularly as I was hesitant that I’d actually like Walking Dead:

After leaving the single rider queue for Walking Dead, I headed for my first flat ride of the day…

Detonator

Detonator was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I always love a good drop tower and Detonator is a very good one indeed, I decided to take a ride on there. The queue was marginally longer than advertised, taking more like 10 minutes, but I can’t complain as this was still a very short queue. So, how was the ride? Well as I said above, I am a fan of a good drop tower, and Detonator is probably one of my favourites! Despite its somewhat diminutive size by drop tower standards, Detonator has a deceivingly punchy drop; it launches you down with such force, and you absolutely fly out of your seat with some awesome sustained airtime! These Fabbri towers are all brilliant; Jolly Roger and Venom were absolutely fantastic as well, from memory, and I am stunned that Fabbri never sold more drop towers! All in all, then, I absolutely loved my ride on Detonator; though short, it always hits the spot for me, and I’d increasingly put it on my “must ride” list when visiting Thorpe:

After getting off Detonator, I went for another ride on Stealth, on an advertised 20 minute queue that took around 30. I was seated in row 2, and it was once again fantastic; with the tiered seating, I got a small taste of that front row speed! It was also quite a wet ride, as it rained a fair bit while I was in the queue:

After getting off Stealth, I went for another flat ride…

Rush

Rush was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to have a go on there. As an added bonus, the 10 minute advertised queue was if anything overstated; I was on the ride within around 5 minutes, which I can never complain about! So, how was the ride? Well, despite me not generally being a massive fan of flat rides as I mentioned yesterday, the S&S Screamin’ Swing is another ride type I can make an exception for; I do enjoy Rush! With it not being a ride that spins, I don’t find it overly nauseating, and I really enjoy the nice pops of floater airtime at each peak and the speed in each trough! Unfortunately, Rush does run quite a weak cycle; I noticed only one or two full height swings today before the ride started to peter out. Nonetheless, I did enjoy my ride, and it was nice to get back on there as I haven’t done it since 2024, to my memory:

After getting off Rush, I headed for a reride on Hyperia using the single rider queue. The ride was on an advertised 85 minute queue time at this point, and single rider was not quite as fruitful here, with me waiting 65 minutes (still a net benefit, but not nearly as much as earlier). One thing that made this ride interesting is that I was sat next to a chatty, but nervous woman who wanted me to make small talk with her going up the lift hill to make her less nervous, so I chatted to her about various things as we climbed. She seemed to enjoy the ride despite her nerves, and we agreed on the brake run that it’s often the anticipation that’s the worst part if you’re scared of coasters… if you’re reading this, Gemma from Eastbourne, it was nice to meet you! As for the ride itself, I was sat in row 2 this time. It was my first time ever riding Hyperia in the front half of the train, and while I was sceptical about whether some of my favourite bits would hit as hard in the front, I have to say that overall, the ride was possibly even better than in the back half of the train! My favourite bit of the ride, the first drop, still more than holds its own in the front, as does the Immelmann, but the other elements after that seemed even more powerful in the front half of the train, with the stall and the two outerbanks seemingly packing more powerful and sustained negative g’s in the front. Contrary to my original suspicions, I am wondering if Hyperia might be a front row coaster, as much as I’ve always loved the back for the full power of that obscene first drop:

After getting off Hyperia, the weather looked as though it might be turning again, so in the spirit of “the anticipation is the worst part” that my Hyperia companion and I had discussed, I decided to grow a pair and try facing some fears of my own that I backed out of to ride Detonator earlier…

The Walking Dead: The Ride

Walking Dead was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so as it was one of the shortest queues in the park at this point and the weather looked as though it was taking a turn for the worse, I decided to give it a ride, albeit in the main queue after seeing the static nature of single rider earlier. The 20 minute queue time was slightly overstated, if anything, and I was batched into the pre-show within about 15 minutes. So, how was it? Well, I should probably preface my review by saying that I’m not very good with horror and have always avoided the blatant horror attractions, particularly those with actors, for this reason. I thought Walking Dead might be a milder way to introduce myself to this style of attraction to confirm whether I actually like it. With my fears in mind, I was definitely quite anxious to ride Walking Dead, and prior to today, I hadn’t actually ridden the coaster since my first ever visit to Thorpe Park back in 2014, when it was still known as X! Thankfully, there were no actors in Walking Dead today… but I’ll admit I still absolutely hated it and am quite sure that I definitely don’t like the blatant horror attractions; I don’t think you’ll find me doing scare mazes any time soon. I’ll grant them that it’s well done, but I just found the whole thing far too dark, far too loud and far too in-your-face for my liking even without actors, and I frankly couldn’t wait to get out of there. If I’m to put my emotions and fears aside and talk more objectively, the coaster itself is actually not a bad family coaster at all. The track and train is good fun, has some fun twists and turns and maintains fairly good speed, and it’s not a bad length either. The theming is also admittedly well executed even if not to my taste, with it being a far more elaborate and cohesive themed experience than I remember X being. However, experiencing this today confirmed to me what I always suspected; that even putting aside my own dislike of horror attractions, the Walking Dead retheme is possibly one of the most stupid decisions, if not the most stupid decision, Merlin has ever made, in my humble opinion. The coaster hardware lends itself nicely to being a whole family attraction for a park that lacks whole family attractions, and indeed it was one as X, but the in-your-face 13+ horror theming is completely incongruous with the hardware and puts off people who might be quite attracted to this type of ride. Some people moan about rides like Thirteen and Wicker Man having dark themes incongruous with their hardware, but Walking Dead is a coaster where I’d argue that the mismatch is far, far more blatant, with the theming being much scarier and more in-your-face and the ride hardware being much tamer. Overall, then, I’m glad I gave Walking Dead a try and it was interesting to do something a bit different, but I’m sorry to say I didn’t like it at all and don’t think I’ll be doing any other scare mazes or horror attractions of this nature any time soon; I think a ride like The Curse at Alton Manor is about the upper limit of horror level I can cope with and enjoy:

After Walking Dead, I decided to head over to do the final coaster I needed to get the clean sweep of operating coasters at Thorpe today…

Flying Fish

Flying Fish was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. With me having done Walking Dead today, riding Flying Fish was important to me as it actually made today the first time in all my years visiting Thorpe Park that I’ve ever ridden all operating coasters at the park in one day, which is made even more impressive to me by the fact that there were only 7 coasters when I first started visiting and there are now 8. For a litany of reasons, there’s always been at least one coaster at Thorpe I’ve missed in every other day I’ve ever had there, but today bucked that trend, which I was pleased with! So, how was Flying Fish? Well, I was on within 10 minutes and I was seated in row 4, and it was fun enough, but I did find myself remembering why I don’t do it very often in a park filled with awesome rides like Thorpe. It picks up some mild speed in places, and is fun enough for younger visitors, but is definitely the weakest coaster in the park from a track and train standpoint and is actually surprisingly jolty for a coaster of the size. It was certainly a fun enough ride, though, and one thing I did notice was that they gave us a very lengthy cycle; has it always done 5 laps? I swear it hasn’t done 5 laps when I’ve ridden it before, but I could be misremembering. In a humorous side note, I noticed that Flying Fish is one of only two rides at Thorpe that my phone’s camera app gives its own geomarker to, with the other being Stealth; whenever I take a picture of Swarm walking up to it, my phone marks the location as “Flying Fish”, with the ride apparently deserving its own geomarker separate from the rest of Thorpe Park:

After getting off Flying Fish, I went for a reride on Swarm, on an advertised 35 minute queue that only took 20. I was seated in row 6 this time, and the ride was once again absolutely fantastic, and possibly even better than earlier:

After Swarm, I went for one final reride on Stealth, on an advertised 25 minute queue that only took 15. I was seated on the back, and it was a fantastic way to end the day; the launch was punchy as ever, and that back row top hat airtime was absolutely wonderful:

After getting off Stealth, ride close was upon us, so I headed out of Thorpe Park to get home after a great day. I took a train out of Staines and changed in Reading, arriving back in Bristol Parkway just after 8pm:

So that wraps up my day at Thorpe Park! I had a brilliant day; I did 14 rides in total, 12 of which were coaster rides. I’m going to say that that isn’t too shabby given that the park wasn’t exactly quiet! I was satisfied to get on all coasters at the park today, as I mentioned earlier, and that actually means that I’ve satisfyingly had a clean sweep of coasters this trip! In terms of specific highlights; Hyperia, my favourite coaster in the UK, was as sublime as always, and I loved getting on the front half of the train for the first time in particular, but the other rides like Stealth, Swarm, Inferno and Detonator were also great, and I just generally liked getting back to Thorpe for my first 2026 visit (with me holding a Merlin pass this year, I’ll almost certainly be back at least once more this season)! I always love a day at Thorpe, and with Hyperia now in the roster, I think it’s a really, really strong park for coasters and thrill rides. I’d say it’s a fierce contender for best coaster lineup in the UK, with Alton being its only real competition in this sense; for me personally, 4 of Thorpe’s coasters make my top 25%, which is pretty favourable on a nationwide and worldwide scale!

That doesn’t just wrap up my day at Thorpe, though; that also wraps up this trip. And all in all, I’ve really enjoyed it! It was nice to get to Southend for the first time, and the +5 from Adventure Island was certainly a satisfying stop on my road to 150, but I also loved today’s day at Thorpe and getting back on some of my favourite coasters in the country too! This trip has made me mull over the idea of finally ticking off Skegness while I’m still off work to truly complete the semi-major UK parks, possibly using Nottingham as a central base and also tying it in with a midweek Merlin pass visit to Towers… watch this space!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report (and yesterday’s too)! I’m not certain of when my next park visit is going to be; it could be a trip to Skegness as I discussed above, but if not, I’d imagine it might be a trip to Paultons to see Valgard… we’ll have to wait and see!

With me having worked for the last 6 months and now being out of work for a period, I thought it might be nice to do a park trip. And seeing as I had such a dry year last year in terms of new creds, I thought I’d redo my Solo South East Jaunt from June 2024, but instead combine a Merlin visit on my pass with a new park and do a double bill of Adventure Island and Thorpe Park! I always love a Thorpe visit, but I was also excited to try something new in the UK, with Southend being a place I’ve never been before (as well as Essex more widely, aside from Stansted Airport)!

Now, I should say that one of my reasons for delaying doing Southend was that from my neck of the woods, the public transport journey involves crossing London, which I was nervous about for a litany of reasons. However, it went absolutely fine, and I actually found some of the London transport quite cool!

I set off from my home in Gloucestershire at around 7:30am this morning, with my parents dropping me off in Bristol Parkway at just after 8am in time for an 8:30am train towards London Paddington to start my journey:

After getting off the train in Paddington, this is where things began to get interesting. I next took an Elizabeth Line service between London Paddington and London Liverpool Street. This took around 10 minutes, and for all my nerves, I have to say it was absolutely fine and very easy! It was busy, and I would advise holding onto something as the train is very fast, but it was fine in terms of practicality! This was also my first time in London since the opening of the Elizabeth Line, and as someone who has at least a passing interest in all things rail, I found it really cool to see and ride on; it’s all so slick and modern:

The final leg of my journey was a C2C train between London Liverpool Street and a Southend Central. It was pretty prompt, taking just over an hour, meaning that I got to Southend at just before 12pm and into Adventure Island just after following a walk that took just under 10 minutes:

Upon entering Adventure Island and collecting my pre-ordered wristband, I decided to start my day on the most noteworthy coaster on offer…

Rage

Rage was near to where I entered and arguably the biggest draw of Adventure Island, so I decided to give it a go. With it being the final day of the Easter holidays, I wondered if the park would be busy, but these thoughts were quickly quashed upon seeing the near walk-on queue for Rage; I got pretty much straight on there, so I can’t really complain! One stray observation I’d like to make, which proved to be a recurring theme throughout the day, is that the staff were incredibly enthusiastic, possibly more so than any other theme park staff I’ve ever encountered! They were dancing, they were encouraging us to show our enthusiasm for the coming ride, they got us to play games… I’m a bit of an introvert, so I’m not sure it’s my thing (apologies if I sound a bit of a killjoy here…), but I can’t fault the enthusiasm! But enough about that; how was the ride? Well, I rarely love Gerstlauer Euro-Fighters, and Rage wasn’t really an exception to that, but it was enjoyable enough and is certainly an impressive headliner for a park of this size. I always enjoy the beyond vertical drop on these, and like the others, Rage offers a nice bit of airtime here! The loop and initial turn were also decent, with some good forces, and to its credit, I would probably say that Rage is the smoothest of the Euro-Fighters I’ve ridden. However, it definitely has a more basic layout than the other Gerstlauer thrill coasters I’ve done, and I don’t massively care for it once it starts going into the slow hangtime sections. I enjoyed the ride, though, and it was a good way to start the day:

After Rage, I headed to the next coaster I needed to ride…

Green Scream

Green Scream was nearby and appeared to be a near walk-on, so I went to give it a ride. Knowing very little about this coaster aside from that it was a Zierer Tivoli and holds (once held?) the peculiar world record of having the most naked riders on a roller coaster, I was interested to see what it was like. I just missed the cycle that had just gone, so I waited around 5 minutes for my go. So, how was the ride? Well, I do have a small soft spot for a Zierer Tivoli, and this was a nice one! Compared to some of the others, it’s quite a sizeable and substantial ride, which definitely gives it a few additional brownie points compared to your Treetopses and your Cat-O-Pillars! I was sat in row 4, and some of those helixes picked up a fair amount of speed, with the ride having a good length to it too! Once again, the host on here was also brimming with enthusiasm, and I did think the announcements and music were a nice touch! All in all, then, I thought Green Scream was a fun Tivoli; there’s something I find inherently quite charming about these Tivoli coasters, and it was nice to see a slightly more substantial one:

After Green Scream, I decided to change things up a tad while I was in this side of the park (I didn’t realise Adventure Island was dual-sided, with each side being separated by an arcade), and go for a flat ride that I’d been advised not to miss…

Time Machine

Time Machine had a nominal queue, so I got in line for the next cycle. I’m not normally a great lover of flat rides, but I know that Time Machine is a unique ride (built by the park in-house, if I remember rightly?), so I decided to give it a go for that reason alone. The cycle ended quickly, so I waited hardly any time at all for my ride; you can never complain when that happens! So, how was it? Well, I’ll be diplomatic and say that it’s certainly… different. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it on my first go; it certainly pulls a lot of g-forces and is quite an intense ride. I wasn’t sure on how it did some sustained upside down action at the beginning, and I did feel a bit dizzy getting off, but even as someone who doesn’t go mad for flat rides, I didn’t think it was a terrible one (I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it after the first go, but it didn’t merit the instant negative reaction that some flats have) and will laud it for being quite a different ride to anything else I’ve ridden:

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After getting off Time Machine, I decided to go for something a tad less intense…

Spooksville

Spooksville was nearby, so after the intensity of Time Machine, I decided to give this dark ride a go to pace myself a little. I have to say that the queue for this is quite nice; I thought queueing indoors made a nice change for a dark ride in a park like this! The queue initially looked a fair amount longer than any of the others I’d seen so far, but due to the length of the train, this ended up only being a one cycle wait and I was on within 5 minutes, which is never bad. So, how was it? Well, I have to say that I thought this was actually a very nice little ride! It’s not the most jumpscare-y ghost train out there, but as someone who’s not a big horror buff, that suited me quite nicely! The ride also had a fair amount of pop-out scenery, there were also some fun little details peppered throughout the scenes, and the ride overall had quite a nice ambience to it! For a park of this calibre, I overall thought Spooksville was a nice ride; I certainly enjoyed it, anyway:

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After getting off Spooksville, I decided to try another flat ride…

Sky Drop

I actually wasn’t sure if Sky Drop was open, as there were no guests in the area at all, but the very friendly host confirmed that it was open and beckoned me on board, so I thought I’d take a spin on there. Contrary to what I said above about not being a big flat ride fan, I do love a drop tower, and I remember Great Yarmouth’s version of this ride type being good fun, so I was keen to try this one! Due to the aforementioned lack of crowds at the ride, I rode alone with no one else in the area, which was interesting… and this is perhaps where the “pumping up” the hosts do here pre-ride feels a little awkward. When the host was doing it and saying to me “Come on, you can do better than that!” when I didn’t respond with what he deemed appropriate enthusiasm, I did feel that this sort of exercise maybe works better when there are more people on the ride, or the riders are younger than me. It’s no criticism of the host at all, as he was very friendly and personable and I can sense that this might be a policy from above seeing as everyone does it, but I’ll admit it’s not really my personal cup of tea, even if it makes me sound miserable. As for the ride itself, it was fun enough, but I thought it lacked a bit of kick compared to my memory of the model in Great Yarmouth, with not even the slightest bit of airtime to speak of. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the ride and I would like to commend the host on his friendliness even if the “pumping up” perhaps isn’t to my personal taste:

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After I got off Sky Drop, I decided to go for another ride on Rage while I was in the vicinity. I only had a one-car wait, and while the ride was once again fun and I do enjoy that beyond-vertical drop, it seemed a bit rougher this time and I had a tight restraint that did… squash me down below a little uncomfortably as these Gersts sometimes can:

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After my re-ride on Rage, I headed over to the other side of the park to nab another coaster credit…

Barnstormer

Barnstormer had a very nominal queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. After a short wait of less than 5 minutes, I was seated on row 3 of the next cycle; I can never complain about that! So, how was the ride? Well, it was good fun; as I said about Green Scream, I do have a soft spot for a Zierer Tivoli, as family coasters go! This one is definitely weaker than Green Scream for me, but even still, the downward helix packs some nice speed and I would perhaps take it over some of the more regular Tivoli layouts I’ve done. It’s nothing spectacular, don’t get me wrong, but Barnstormer put a smile on my face overall:

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After Barnstormer, I decided to give the other coaster next to it a ride…

Mighty Mini Mega

Similarly to Barnstormer, Mighty Mini Mega was on a nominal wait, so I got in line and was quickly batched onto the next cycle. With this being a theme of the day so far, I certainly couldn’t complain about the efficiency of my visit to Adventure Island; I should add that I had only been in the park for around an hour at this point and this was about to be my 8th ride! So, how was the ride? Well, with Mighty Mini Mega being a Pinfari, a manufacturer where I have not had particularly great experiences with their hardware, I did not have high expectations… but I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised! By Pinfari standards, I’m going to say that Mighty Mini Mega was not half bad; it’s definitely my favourite Pinfari (a very, very low bar to clear, admittedly) and probably my 2nd favourite coaster in the park behind Rage, which surprised me! From where I’m standing, the ride was smooth, had comfortable trains (a pleasant surprise given that my prior experiences with Pinfari have had trains where I’ve either had to sit sideways or fold myself into a very cramped OTSR), and actually had some fairly good speed to it! I liked some of the drops and undulations, and the ride maintained fairly good speed and force through the layout for a family coaster of its size! Overall, then, I thought Mighty Mini Mega was a pleasant surprise, and certainly a solid family coaster; I enjoyed it, anyway:

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After Mighty Mini Mega, I headed for the park’s second drop tower…

Vertigo

Vertigo had a walk-on queue, so as a self-professed drop tower fan, I fancied a ride on it. When a drop tower is on a walk-on queue, I can never turn it down! So, how was the ride? Well, even though it’s not the most intense drop tower by any stretch, I thought Vertigo was really good fun by the standards of these family drop towers! Unlike Sky Drop earlier, the ride provided some genuine tickles of airtime which are always appreciated, and it was also a fairly long cycle too! All in all, then, I definitely enjoyed Vertigo, and would probably say it was one of my better rides of the day:

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After Vertigo, I headed up some stairs to grab the final credit of the day…

Kiddi Koasta

These days, I frequently don’t ride kiddie coasters, but I already felt as though most of the rides I’d been on had had me surrounded by children, so as the queue for Kiddi Koasta also appeared nominal, I figured I might as well take a ride and get the clean sweep of coasters at Adventure Island. I was on the next cycle after I joined the queue, I was joined by another solo rider and interestingly, this was perhaps the only ride where the host did no “pumping up” whatsoever, which surprised me given that it was the one ride where I might have anticipated it given the target audience. So with all this in mind, this was possibly the least embarrassing kiddie coaster I’ve ever ridden, which was great as someone who worries about this! Anyhow, how was the ride itself? Well, it was what it was, really. It’s a good enough coaster for kids, with some moments of mild speed, but it’s not going to make any top coaster lists for adults. The main thing that stuck out to me about the ride was that the lift hill rivals Wicker Man’s for the title of “joltiest lift hill entry” and the brake at the end was really quite sharp! All in all, then, Kiddi Koasta was a perfectly adequate kiddie coaster, with my main takeaway being that I was glad to get the clean sweep of credits at Adventure Island:

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After I got off Kiddi Koasta, I decided to give another flat ride a go…

Axis

Axis was on a one-cycle wait, so I decided to take a ride on there. It did feel like the operations on here were quite slow, as it seemed to take a while for anything to happen once I was seated, but as there was only one staff member running the whole ride and the queue was short, I don’t think I should complain too much. So, how was the ride? Well, these gyroswings have been growing on me somewhat in recent times, even if they still aren’t an absolute favourite of mine, but this one was completely ruined by the 360 degree function for me, I’m afraid. The initial swings were good fun, and the ride gains some good speed in the troughs, but I just don’t like the extended upside down hangtime at all, unfortunately. So all in all, then, I came off Axis feeling a little worse for wear and having not overly enjoyed the experience, I’m sorry to say:

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After getting off Axis, I decided to start doing some rerides. I initially went for a walk-on reride on Barnstormer; I was sat in row 7, and the ride was perhaps better than it was the first time around. It was still good fun:

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I then went for a reride on Mighty Mini Mega on a one-cycle wait. I was seated in row 9, and the ride was once again good fun; I was still pleasantly surprised that Pinfari could build something that fun:

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After that, I went for a walk-on reride on Vertigo. Once again, I thoroughly enjoyed the ride:

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After getting off Vertigo, I decided to go for a sit down, having done 14 rides in under 2 hours. I grabbed a King Kone (a Mr Whippy with a flake… what a nostalgic throwback to my childhood seaside holidays!) and a Pepsi Max, and decided to just sit on a bench and take things in for a bit.

Once I’d finished my ice cream, I went for a reride on Green Scream. The park was busier by this point, and while I only waited one cycle, the operations were quite slow, which meant that the wait was 15-20 minutes overall. I do think they could maybe do with more than one staff member on the platform on busier days than this one… nonetheless, the ride was once again good fun in row 2:

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After my ride on Green Scream, I, perhaps against my better judgement, headed for a reride on Time Machine, as I wanted to better suss out my opinion on this unique ride. And while it is undeniably unique, I’ve concluded that it is just a bit too intense for my tastes, I’m afraid. It makes me feel quite dizzy, it isn’t something I could reride lots in quick succession, and I think it’s stymied by the fact that I’m simply not a great lover of flat rides, for the most part. Interestingly, my second ride on here took over 20 minutes all in all, as they had to get a mechanic to manually release our restraints:

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After getting off Time Machine, I headed for one final reride on Rage. By this point, the park had taken a car off Rage and left it running only the 1 car (it had been running 2 earlier), which meant that I waited 15 minutes (still by no means a long queue, but longer than it had been earlier). It was a good way to end my time at Adventure Island, although as with the second ride, it was a little rougher than it had been earlier in the day:

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After getting off Rage, I decided to end my time at Adventure Island there. While I had only spent 3.5 hours in the park and it was only around 3:30pm, I was content with what I’d done and didn’t want to get to Staines ridiculously late, so decided to leave for the train station:

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To get back to Staines for my overnight accommodation ahead of a Thorpe day tomorrow, I took a slightly different route. I took a C2C train from Southend Central to Stratford, took the Jubilee Line on the Underground down to London Waterloo from Stratford (this was possibly faster than the Elizabeth Line train earlier… I forgot to hold on and nearly fell on top of the poor woman stood next to me when the train pulled away!), and took a South Western Railway train from London Waterloo to Hounslow (SWR have jazzed up their trains since I last rode one, I have to say!), taking an Uber from Hounslow to my hotel in Staines due to the trains only running to Hounslow. I must admit, I’m proud of myself for having successfully negotiated the London transport alone, and it was cool to see the tube and the Elizabeth Line for sure:

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So, that brings an end to my first ever visit to Adventure Island! I had a really good day; I certainly can’t complain about 17 rides in 3.5 hours, and I enjoyed seeing the park for the first time!

As for my thoughts on the park itself; I enjoyed my time there and I’m glad I went, but it’s not somewhere I can see myself rushing back to in the absence of major investment considering the distance I live away from it. It’s more of a “couple of hours” kind of park than a “full day” kind of park. With that said, I did enjoy my time there, and for comparison, I would probably say that the park felt as though it had more substance than either of the two parks I visited in Norfolk/Suffolk in 2024. It definitely is more of a funfair-type park than a “proper” theme park, but it has some decent rides; for the scale of the park, Rage is an impressive headliner, and I also think the two Zierers and Mighty Mini Mega are not bad supporting acts either. Spooksville is a nice dark ride, I enjoyed Vertigo, Time Machine is certainly unique even if it wasn’t my cup of tea… there is a fair bit here!

One thing I will say is that the staff are universally very friendly and clearly very much like working here, which is nice to see! The “pumping up” prior to rides isn’t to my personal taste, but that is a me thing rather than a them thing and based on my accompanying riders during the day being predominantly children, I can sense I’m not the target demographic!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Tomorrow, I’ll be spending a day at Thorpe Park, so keep your eyes peeled for that report tomorrow evening! I can’t wait to get back on Hyperia and my other Thorpe favourites for the first time in 2026!

We (well, I for most of the day) had a second day on park today! Although the plan wasn’t to stay until dark today, I was still looking forward to another day on park getting some more rides in!

Now before I get into the meat of today, I should preface that today was also the opening day of Bluey in CBeebies Land, which I hadn’t realised prior to booking. If you’re expecting a review, I’m afraid you will be disappointed; each to their own, but as Alton Towers is a non-trivial journey from the South for me and I only go a couple of times a season at most, I have better things to do with my time there than wait in an obscene queue for a kiddie coaster. I’ve previously ridden worse in terms of size than Bluey, but on short to walk-on queues. I’m not ruling out ever riding it, but Bluey stayed between 90 and 150 minutes all day from what I saw, so I did not partake in a ride on this particular occasion!

Now I’ve got that out of the way, let me start the day. My mum fancied a quiet morning, so on her suggestion, I actually tried something I’ve never done to get to Alton before… I caught an Uber from the hotel in Uttoxeter! I was sceptical of how well this would work given the well documented rural nature of Alton Towers’ immediate surroundings, but it actually worked very well; the driver turned up within a few minutes, and I was at the park before 9am! This is definitely a way forward for if I ever go to the park with my parents again, I feel, and it has made me think that doing Towers alone without driving may be more achievable than I’d thought, particularly if I was willing to make a few sacrifices in terms of day length.

Despite getting to the resort at 8:56, there was already a pretty considerable queue waiting to get into the plaza, and when I saw that this was the state of the plaza at 9:02, I had a feeling we were in for a busy day:

After a bit of a countdown for the aforementioned Bluey opening, the turnstiles were opened at 9:30 or so, and I went against the grain and headed to Dark Forest for my first ride…

Rita

I have always favoured Dark Forest as a morning starting point at Alton Towers, and on this particular occasion, I felt very vindicated in this, as while hordes of people were heading to CBeebies and a fair few were heading towards the likes of Wicker Man and Smiler, I was one of only 3 people within my line of vision heading into Dark Forest, and when walking speed was taken into account, I was only the 2nd person in line for Rita prior to opening! I had hoped that this would put me in good stead to be on the front row of the first train of the day, and while Fastrack or Ride Access Pass unfortunately took front row on the first train, I got front row on the second, so I can’t moan too much! So, how was this morning ride on Rita? Well, I thought it was absolutely cracking! These Intamin hydraulic launch coasters really shine on the front row, in my opinion, and this morning’s ride on Rita was no exception, with the ride packing a sensational sense of speed throughout! For all its flaws and the flack it receives, I do really like Rita; it was certainly a good way to start the day:

After I got off, nothing else within a reasonable walking distance was open and Rita was only on an advertised 15 minute queue, so I went for another ride! The queue took more like 35 minutes, but my row 8 reride was good fun just as the previous one had been; while the back lacks the sense of speed of the front, and I would definitely favour the front on Rita if I were choosing, I thought some of the airtime felt a bit more potent further back on the train!

After my reride on Rita, I decided to join the pre-queue for the other coaster in the area…

Thirteen

It was nearing 11am, so as reliability was still patchy elsewhere due to weather, I decided to wait a few minutes for the opening of Thirteen while I was in Dark Forest. The ride opened on a queue that was advertised at 60 minutes by the time I reached the entrance, but I decided to use my secret weapon… the single rider queue! This worked in my favour, as I managed to get batched into row 7 within 20 minutes; I can never complain about that! Operations were also awesome on here, with 3 trains running and dispatch intervals of less than a minute at points! So, how was the ride? Well, as it was yesterday, the ride was great fun, with smooth tracking and some good pops of airtime during the outdoor section and an indoor section that’s always a laugh! I was sat next to a woman on my ride today who’d never ridden before, and when she asked me “is there a loop on this one?” and then uttered “thank god for that” when I said no, I did have to stifle a chuckle when I thought of the impending surprises that were to come… she then proceeded to scream her head off throughout the ride and the indoor section and asked me in a horrified voice “is it over?” when we hit the final brake run! I always love riding Thirteen next to people who’ve never ridden it before… that indoor section is still surprising plenty of people 16 years on:

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After I got off Thirteen, a lot of things either weren’t open or had extremely long queues. I initially scoped out the advertised 95 minute queue for my on-park favourite Wicker Man, but it looked at least as long as advertised if not longer, so I changed course and ambled steadily over to Forbidden Valley, riding a near-guaranteed short queue on the way there…

The Curse at Alton Manor

Curse was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. The queue for this was coming out of the house and almost into the extended queue, which is probably the longest I’ve waited for it; I think it might be the first time I’ve ever seen the full pre-show while waiting! However, the queue moved quickly and took 10 minutes, as advertised. So, how was the ride? Well, I do really like Curse; I think it’s a big improvement on Duel, and it has grown on me as time has gone on. It’s very atmospheric and has lots of really nice scenery and effects, and it’s also very cohesive in a way that Duel never was! It was also a very good run on here today effects-wise, with practically everything of note working! Overall, then, Curse was a nice way to break up the coastering; if nothing else, the short queue and some time indoors were appreciated on a day where the feels like temperature was billed at -4°C:

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After Curse, I ambled over to Forbidden Valley to ride another coaster…

Nemesis Reborn

Nemesis was on an advertised 80 minute queue, but as it never seems to get an overly long queue, I had my suspicions it may not be 80 minutes. And even if it was, I figured that of all the long queues on park, Nemesis was probably the least arduous to be in, with it being an interesting queue line with lots to look at and also a fast-moving queue too, so I decided to take a ride on there. My suspicion of 80 minutes being overstated was correct, but perhaps not quite as correct as I’d hoped, with the queue still taking 65 minutes. However, it moved quickly due to relatively good operations, so it could have been worse! So, how was the ride? Well, it was excellent; while not quite as good as the night ride yesterday, that layout always packs a punch! I always find Nemesis a really exciting coaster in terms of pacing, with the first few elements being brilliantly structured, but the ride also regaining pace quite nicely with that final inversion at the end! Today’s ride maybe had a slightly more noticeable vibration than yesterday’s, but even still, I maintain having now had a double-figure number of rides on the retracked version that the much-discussed rattle is an entirely benign sensation and does not affect my enjoyment at all. It’s more of an odd noise than anything that actually impedes enjoyment for me! All in all, then, I loved my ride on Nemesis; it’s an absolutely fantastic coaster that’s definitely among my top 3 on park, and I also think that the revamp gave it a brilliant new lease of life:

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After I got off Nemesis, I met up with my mum, who entered the park while I was in the queue. We headed down to Wicker Man, which was reopening from some downtime when we got there. I originally joined the advertised 70 minute queue for a final ride, but after 45 minutes had passed, the ride went down for a weather delay. As I knew my mum was keen to get home, I hadn’t even reached the queue line shop after 45 minutes (the queue was moving oddly slowly despite the ride dispatching quicker than yesterday, if anything), and it was frankly cold as anything and starting to hail, I decided to bail out of the queue at that point and meet back up with my mum:

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As it was past 2pm at that point and my mum was keen to get home, we slowly made our way out of the park. I did catch a brief glimpse of Bluey as I walked out, and while I didn’t partake in a ride, it looks nicely done and bigger than I expected!

So, that wraps up the second Alton Towers day of the trip! I must admit that this maybe wasn’t my best ever day at Alton, but they can’t change the weather and I also acknowledge that attending on the opening day of a new roller coaster, whether intentional or not, may not be the best idea. And besides, there was plenty of fun had today; the two Dark Forest coasters were good, as were Nemesis and Curse! I would have liked that ride on Wicker Man at the end to seal the deal, but I did ride it twice yesterday, so it’s not exactly devastating that I wasn’t able to ride today. I always like a trip up to Alton regardless, and this has been a good and roundly successful trip! I don’t think 13 rides across 2 (or maybe more like 1.5) days is a bad effort myself; I was pleased to get on all operating coasters of interest at least once across the weekend, and some rerides were had too, which is never a bad thing! Not to mention, I managed to get those all-important night rides on Nemesis and Wicker Man, which were awesome!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! My next report will be on 12th April, when I head to Adventure Island in Southend for my first ever visit. I’ll be interested to see a new UK park and get on the likes of Rage for the first time!

After what has felt like a pretty long closed season (for me, anyway), March is upon us! And with me having purchased an Essential Merlin Pass back in November, what better way for me to start the season than with a trip to Alton Towers? With Alton After Dark being on for the first 3 weeks of the season and me now having the flexibility to come on a weekday, me and my mum decided to give the event another whirl following our less-than-stellar first go at it in 2024. And besides, I couldn’t wait to get back on some of my Alton favourites for the season, such as Wicker Man, Nemesis and others!

With us staying in the park late, we left our home in Gloucestershire at around 10am, getting to Alton at around 1pm after a… somewhat hairy journey, to say the least! We got stuck in traffic around Gloucester and Birmingham, but it seemed like every man and their dog was parked in the road during the non-motorway portions, and as always seems to happen when we let the satnav direct us to Alton, it directed us a slightly different way to last time, and hilarity ensued when we got directed up a seemingly never ending ascent followed by a seemingly never ending descent… anyway, we got to the park at 1pm, and as it was already a few hours into the day, I went ahead of my mum and was able to enter relatively promptly by 1:15 or so:

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When I got into the park, I decided to head to a slightly different choice to usual for my first coaster ride of 2026…

Spinball Whizzer

Spinball Whizzer was on an advertised 45 minute queue time when I approached, and I decided to give it a whirl. It’s not something I ride terribly often, but as I was nearby waiting for my mum to enter and had caught wind that the ride was doing wet weather loading and only loading 3 to a car, I decided to try my secret weapon… the single rider queue! This proved to be a fruitful choice, as the single rider queue moved very quickly and I was on within 10 minutes; it’s great when that happens, particularly when the park is as busy as it was today! So, how was it? Well, I’m not normally Spinball’s greatest fan, but I have to say that it was pretty enjoyable today! It span well without being too excessive, wasn’t too rough either, and was overall an enjoyable way to start the season! I don’t know if it was just that it was my first coaster ride since September, but I definitely ‎enjoyed Spinball more than usual today and would consider moving it up in my estimations; it definitely put a smile on my face:

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After getting off Spinball, my mum joined me and we headed over to Dark Forest to ride our first big coaster…

Rita

Rita was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, so we decided to have a go on there. I hadn’t ridden Rita since 2024, with it being closed on my last visit, so I was interested to get back on there for sure. We actually had a bit of a curveball thrown our way queueing for Rita, as the ride broke down when we were close to the front of the queue for about 30 minutes, meaning that we waited about 85-90 minutes in total. I do think they could maybe extend the tannoy system to better cover the bits of the queue going underneath the launch, as we could hardly hear the announcements being made. But how was the ride after all that waiting? Well, we were seated in row 2, and it was a very good ride! For all my sins, I actually really like Rita; as much as the layout is not the most interesting or dynamic, it has a cracking launch, there are one or two surprisingly good bits of airtime in there, and it was also riding pretty smoothly today! With us being seated in row 2, it also meant that we got a small taste of that front row sense of speed due to the staggered seating design, which was a bonus! Overall, then, Rita was great, and we both enjoyed it despite the lengthened wait time:

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After getting off Rita, we headed to the other coaster in the area…

Thirteen

With Thirteen being the other coaster in the area and on an advertised 30 minute wait, we decided to take a spin on there. We pondered doing single rider on Thirteen after our lengthened Rita wait, but as the main queue on Thirteen was only advertised at a relatively short wait, we decided to ride together. This proved to be a prudent decision, as we in fact only waited 25 and single rider looked pretty long! But how was it? Well, similarly to Rita, I actually really enjoy Thirteen despite the flack it often gets. Today, we were seated on the very back, which is my favourite seat on there, and as much as the outdoor section isn’t greatly intense, the first drop was great and there were one or two other fun bits of airtime. And me and my mum both find that indoor section a laugh; I know very well that Thirteen is one of my mum’s favourite rides for that precise reason! I wouldn’t rate it quite as highly as her, but it’s definitely grown on me over the years and I’d probably plump for it being my 4th favourite Alton coaster behind Wicker, Oblivion and Nemesis. It’s great fun:

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After Thirteen, I headed into X-Sector to ride my next coaster…

The Smiler

The Smiler was on an advertised 60 minute queue time, but  as my mum didn’t fancy riding it, I used my usual secret weapon of single rider once again. The single rider queue on here hasn’t seemed quite as fruitful as it used to be ever since they restructured it to hold you at the bottom of the stairs before baggage, with it spilling to the entrance of the station building today, but even still, I got on in only 30 minutes compared to the advertised 60, so I can’t really complain! So, how was it? Well, Smiler isn’t an absolute favourite of mine, but I was sat in row 2, and I have to say that to its credit, it wasn’t riding too badly. It was a bit rough, but not too terrible, there were some good forces on there, and the OTSRs didn’t seem quite as uncomfortable as they can be. I do find it’s not a layout that I like quite as much as some, as I find the repetitive-feeling motions in places not the most interesting and a little bit nauseating, but I’ll admit it’s creative, has some good forces and wasn’t riding badly at all today:

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After The Smiler, I met back up with my mum and we headed to ride a coaster that we were both likely to enjoy more…

Wicker Man

Wicker Man was on an advertised 40 minute queue time, so we decided to take a ride on there. The ride only appeared to be running 2 trains, but was dispatching pretty quickly considering this, and the queue time board was broadly accurate, with the queue taking around 40-45 minutes all in. You can’t complain about that, really! However, I should say that as much as the content of the pre-show on there is good, I always find the whole experience of Wicker Man between the merge point and the station more frustrating than it needs to be, simply because it’s utter disorganised carnage. That pre-show needs either scrapping or completely reorganising, in my view; perhaps controversially, I quite liked how it ran during COVID, and my mum seems to agree! Anyway, how was the ride? Well, we were seated in row 7, and it was phenomenal! I absolutely love Wicker Man, and this ride was no exception; despite the somewhat middling seat placement, the ride had a great sense of pace throughout, had some fun pops of airtime, and was just generally a great laugh! While not the most head-meltingly intense, Wicker Man is my favourite coaster at Alton simply because of how fun it is. It consistently reduces me to fits of laughter every time, and it’s the sort of coaster that I would quite happily sit on all day and likely still enjoy just as much at the end of the day as I did at the start; it’s got more than enough thrills to be compelling and exciting, but strikes the right level of intensity to not be overbearing. All in all, then, I loved getting back on Wicker Man; it’s my favourite on park and one of my favourites in the UK, and it’s not an Alton visit without a ride on it, in my view:

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After Wicker Man, we headed over to Forbidden Valley to ride a coaster that we’d not yet ridden, strategically picking a ride that we weren’t so focused on riding at night…

Galactica

Galactica was on an advertised 35 minute queue time, so as we hadn’t yet ridden it, we decided to take a spin on there. The queue was shorter than advertised, taking around 25 minutes, but I have to say that operations were pretty slow on here and the queue felt longer than it was, with the ride only running 1 station and attaining a throughput somewhere in the realms of 600pph. As we only waited 25 minutes, I can’t complain too much, but psychologically, it felt slower to us and it didn’t leave the best taste, if I’m being picky. Anyway, that’s enough complaining about ops; how was the ride? Well, neither of us were massive fans of this, unfortunately. After today’s ride, I’ve come to the conclusion that Galactica is definitely my least favourite of Alton’s operating major thrill coasters, because while smooth, I just find the riding position of those B&M flying coasters incredibly uncomfortable, and that makes it difficult for me to overly enjoy it. I don’t like having my full weight resting on the restraints like that, and I also am not a massive fan of some of those extended periods on your back either (while the pretzel loop on Manta is worse, Galactica’s first turn is not the most comfortable). My mum came off it feeling a bit wiped out, unfortunately, so then didn’t ride the next ride as a result. All in all, then, Galactica is, perhaps controversially, not one I’m overly a fan of, particularly after today’s ride; I used to like it, but I’ve just gone right off it over the years, unfortunately:

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After Galactica, I headed for a ride I had planned to do at night, as it was getting dusky and the queue was relatively short…

Nemesis Reborn

Nemesis was on an advertised 5 minute queue, and while the queue looked longer than 5 minutes, it didn’t look excessively long by any means and I was keen to get on it late, so I joined the queue. The queue took around 25 minutes overall, and in contrast to my experience on Galactica, I have to say that operations on here were absolutely smashing it; my average of 10 hit nearly 1,200pph even with 1 or 2 anomalously slow dispatches in the mix, and they were attaining dispatch intervals as fast as 90s or below at times, with little to no stacking during the entire period I was in the area! The night lighting on here also looks awesome; I love the red lighting, and the search lights going around the area are an awesome touch! So, how was the ride itself? Well, it was solidly a dusk ride bordering on a night ride by the time I got on, and my row 2 ride was absolutely fantastic; it was probably one of my best ever rides on Nemesis! It’s an absolutely superb coaster in the day, but it was running so fast with such brilliant forces and was also incredibly smooth (I once again find myself finding all this rattle talk hugely overblown, personally)! Nemesis has such a brilliant layout design, with sequences such as the first drop-corkscrew-helix-zero-g roll quartet being so inspired and exciting, and I’m increasingly convinced that it’s my favourite B&M invert and looping B&M period. The traditional looping B&Ms, while almost consistently solid to decent, don’t excite me quite like they once did, but Nemesis definitely stands out from the pack, in my view. All in all, then, I absolutely loved my ride on Nemesis; it’s a brilliant coaster in the day, but it’s an even more cracking night (or dusk in this case) ride:

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After Nemesis, I met back up with my mum, who was feeling a little better having recovered from Galactica, so we decided to head over to our universal favourite in the park, Wicker Man, for one final night ride on an advertised 45 minute queue time. Despite starting from a later point in the queue, the queue was much slower this time round and we ended up waiting 60 minutes. The ride was, if anything, dispatching more quickly than earlier (they were quick to the extent that I wondered if they’d added a 3rd train… remarkably, they hadn’t!), so I’m unsure of the cause of this. Anyway, we were sat in row 5, and the ride was absolutely phenomenal; given we’d only ridden a few hours prior, the ride felt like it had sped up phenomenally, and the speed, laterals and airtime were top-notch, even more so than usual! Once again, we were both reduced to absolute fits of laughter on the brake run, and that definitely ranks up there as one of my best Wicker Man experiences despite it only being a row 5 ride! Wicker Man is a night ride I’d highly recommend if you ever attend a late opening at Alton, and today’s night ride was a superb way to end the day:

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After we got off Wicker Man, the park had closed for the day, so we headed out and back to the car after a really good day:

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Before I wrap up, I should mention a really pleasant encounter that me and my mum had in the Premier Inn in Uttoxeter. We were sat in the bar chatting about our day over a drink, and a friendly Welsh enthusiast who had been to Alton on a solo trip of his own overheard us at one point, chimed in his thoughts, and we ended up having a lovely long coaster chat for what was probably almost an hour (we got turfed out of the bar by the staff at 10:45…)! I have to say that this was a lovely surprise encounter, and if the enthusiast in question is reading this, I’d just like to say that I thoroughly enjoyed our chat and you definitely added a nice pleasant surprise to my day!

So, that brings me to the end of our first day at Alton Towers! I had some trepidation going into this trip, both after my last experience at Alton After Dark in 2024 and recent reports from others’ visits in 2026, but I have to say that I had a really good day! I got on 8 rides, with one ride on every operating coaster (bar Octonauts for hopefully obvious reasons) and a reride on Wicker Man, which I’m not displeased with at all given that the park wasn’t quiet and the fact we were in the park for around 7 hours rather than the full 10 hour day! Yes, there are things I could pick at (operations were slightly inconsistent, and it’s not ideal that a number of attractions including Oblivion were closed), but I overall had a really enjoyable day, so I don’t feel I can complain too much. I always love an Alton trip, and while I’ve had heavier riding days at Alton, I think 8 rides is a pretty good effort and today did not disappoint for me!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! We’re going to be back on park tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for that report! Although I should say that if you’re expecting a Bluey review from the opening day, you will almost certainly be disappointed, as I plan to avoid the likely carnage and give CBeebies Land a very wide berth…

P.S. I’ve tried a new way of embedding images from imgBB, but I’m unsure if it works; could somebody please confirm whether my images show properly?

Hi guys. Today, I took my first visit to Thorpe Park of the season. While there hasn’t been anything new at Thorpe since my last visit, I was still keen to get back and experience some of my favourites again! I was particularly excited to get back on Hyperia given that I’d only ridden it on one visit last year and it definitely made its mark on me, making its way into my top 10 and christening itself my favourite UK coaster! Also, I was frankly keen to get back to a park after the end of my Master’s degree and the start of my job; I wanted to have something to look forward to after an intense summer, and what better than a trip to Thorpe Park?

The day started early, with me leaving home at 6:30am this morning to make my way across the Severn Bridge to Bristol Parkway to catch a 7:21am train to Reading. I then changed in Reading to catch a train towards Staines. All in, this took around 2 hours, and it was mostly a very smooth journey. Incidentally, I’m always surprised at how quiet South Western Railway trains are, and how well stocked they are in terms of carriages. We had 8 carriages going from Reading to Staines; on Transport for Wales, CrossCountry or GWR back home, anything more than 2 feels relatively exuberant! I then decided to use my good friend Uber to get between station and park, which once again worked really well; after having a very friendly chap who asked me lots of theme park questions drive me to the park, I arrived at around 9:45am:

After getting to the park, I initially had to wait around 30 minutes in a queue for security before entering; that’s the longest I’ve waited there in a while. After getting through this, though, I got in at around 10:15am:

Due to my long security queue, my usual strategy of heading towards Saw and Colossus and knocking those out with minimal queues was stymied, as they already had queues approaching an hour. Resultantly, I decided to head towards a different area of the park and ride…

Nemesis Inferno

Nemesis Inferno was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so I decided to head over there. As I was approaching, the queue time increased to 15 minutes, but I didn’t think it looked like only 15 minutes, and a little bit after I joined, an announcement came over the tannoy stating it to be 45 minutes. As it turned out, though, the queue took only 25 minutes in reality due to good operations with minimal stacking; it’s always great when expectations are exceeded! So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 5, and it was really good! I’ve always liked Inferno, and today was no exception! The ride was smooth, it had good forces, it had good speed; what’s not to like? I’ll admit, though, that I don’t think the ride did it for me quite like Nemesis Reborn up at Alton Towers did back in July; the original definitely has something special about it that Inferno, while a perfectly decent ride in its own right, doesn’t quite match:

After I got off Nemesis Inferno, I headed to a nearby flat ride…

Detonator

Detonator was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so as I do love a good drop tower and I hadn’t done Detonator since 2023 (I think?), I was keen to give it a ride. The queue took slightly longer than advertised, taking around 15 minutes, but it was still short, so I can’t complain too much. So, how was the ride? Well, I am a fan of a good drop tower, and Detonator is a really good one! I’ve always loved how deceptively forceful the Fabbri towers are for their relatively diminutive stature, and if anything, Detonator was more forceful than I’d remembered. I was launched all the way out of my seat and stayed there for the whole journey down, and it was awesome! It was also my first time back on there following the Big Easy Boulevard retheme, and I have to say that I really like the changes; they add a really fun new element to the ride:

After I got off Detonator, I headed for another coaster…

Stealth

Stealth was on an advertised 40 minute queue time, so as it was one of the shorter queues at this point, I was nearby and I hadn’t ridden it yet, I decided to take a spin on there. I had a very pleasant surprise in the form of the queue on here. While advertised 40, I only waited 15 minutes, likely in no small part due to some of the best operations I’ve ever seen on Stealth. The staff were absolutely throwing the trains out; pretty consistent 70-75 second dispatch intervals were being attained on there, my logged throughput average was almost 1,000pph, and the staff were very frequently outpacing the 40s dispatch timer on the platform (something I’d thought to be largely redundant in years gone by). Great job! But enough about ops; how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 8, and it was absolutely fantastic; as per usual, the launch was fantastically punchy, the speed was phenomenal, and the airtime over the top hat in the back was on point! I do absolutely love Stealth; it’s easily my second favourite at Thorpe and among my UK top 5, and despite it being much shorter and slower than Red Force, I actually think I prefer it to Red Force. That hydraulic launch packs an unrivalled punch, and it’ll be a sad day when these hydraulic launchers go extinct:

After I got off Stealth, the state of the queues elsewhere, and the comparatively short queue and high enjoyment I got from my Stealth ride, meant that I decided to go straight back round for another Stealth lap. I was seated in row 8 this time after a 25-30 minute wait, and the ride was once again fantastic!

After my Stealth reride, I decided to head over to another coaster I hadn’t done yet…

Saw The Ride

Saw was on an advertised 65 minute queue time, but I decided to give it a ride because I was able to exploit a secret weapon… the single rider queue! I must admit it wasn’t quite such a secret weapon today, with it still taking 45 minutes, but even still, it was 20 minutes less than the advertised wait, so I can’t moan too much. So, how was the ride? Well, I got batched onto the back on an outer seat, and as much as I’m not the biggest Saw fan, I have to admit that it wasn’t running too badly today; it was rough in places, but not nearly as bad as it can be. There was also some good airtime on there, to be fair; I think Saw has some surprisingly good bits of air in places! On a side note, Saw seemed to attract some of the more memorable guest interactions today. In the station, two separate people were getting irate with the staff about their child being too short and were requesting multiple repeat measurements, one family tried to force a young girl on to the ride who was in absolute floods of tears and clearly didn’t want to ride, resulting in an argument (I was supposed to sit next to them, but they didn’t end up boarding with me due to said argument taking up too much time), and to cap things off, I was seated next to a teenage boy who kept yelling “F***ing hell, my balls!” throughout the ride:

After I got off Saw, I examined the queues and decided to go for another Stealth reride, as it was on one of the shortest advertised queues at 20 minutes. The queue took 20-25 minutes, I was seated in row 9, and the ride was once again fantastic:

After that Stealth reride, it began to rain, so I decided to take cover and buy a Burger King lunch. After this, my original plan had been to head to Swarm, but after seeing a certain golden goddess testing, my plans swiftly changed…

Now, you might have noticed that despite me saying it was one of my most anticipated attractions of the day, Hyperia has been conspicuously absent from the report up to this point.

The reason for this is because the ride had a “delayed opening” and did not open at all in the morning. However, when I left Burger King near Stealth, it was a little before 2pm, and high wind gusts were forecast to come in from 3:30pm or so. So with Hyperia having not opened at all and having suddenly started testing, and with its dislike of wind being well catalogued at this point, I decided I was taking no chances and headed straight over there to wait for it to open. I watched it test for around 10-15 minutes prior to it opening (seeing the unscrewed water dummies spill everywhere was interesting!), and the ride eventually opened at around 2:10pm. After it opened, I joined hordes of people in making a steady beeline into the queue…

Hyperia

As the ride opened and people gradually filed into the queue, the advertised queue time for Hyperia increased gradually, starting at 70 minutes, then increasing to 90, and eventually hitting 110 before I passed the threshold of the entrance. The queue time eventually hit 2.5 hours! I used the single rider queue, and midway through my wait, the ride actually went down for 10-15 minutes due to high winds. The gusts were registering as 26mph on my Apple Weather app, and were only set to increase… but after a few agonisingly slow test trains, the ride did thankfully reopen, and I waited 80 minutes for my ride on Hyperia from when it opened (probably more like 90-95 including the time I watched it test for), which I honestly don’t think is too bad given the circumstances. With me being initially spited out of the ride in June 2024, and with it delaying in opening and shutting for wind in September 2025, Hyperia really has done everything in its power to make me want to hate it over the years! But that’s enough about queues and wind delays; how was the ride?

Well, despite the aforementioned, I’m happy to report that Hyperia was absolutely sublime, and it was possibly even better than I’d remembered from 2024! I was seated in row 8, and everything about it was absolutely cooking! There is so much to talk about with this ride; that first drop remains a highlight, with the mix of sustained ejector the whole way down and the lateral twist making for something quite unforgettable, but so many other aspects of it stand out! The general negative g-forces throughout are sublime, the speed is sublime, and unique elements like the outer banked turn and the stall dive loop also provide phenomenal hangtime and wonderfully weird sensations! And in general, the speed and execution of the entire thing is just delectable, and as well as that, it’s also so smooth and comfortable! I think it’s been a phenomenal addition to Thorpe Park and the UK industry; it’s certainly my favourite in the country by some distance, and to be honest, I’m pondering whether it should be an overall top 5 contender for me:

After my ride on Hyperia, I resumed my original plan by heading over to…

The Swarm

The Swarm was on an advertised 55 minute queue, so as I’ve always liked Swarm and I hadn’t ridden it yet today, I decided to give it a go. Similarly to Stealth earlier, the queue was quite vastly shorter than advertised, with it only taking around 30 minutes. Once again, I think brilliant operations played a part in this; the staff were attaining over 1,000pph on here, and consistently attaining little to no stacking! But how was the ride? Well, I’ve always liked Swarm, but I have to admit that it was particularly potent for me today; I was sat in row 6, and I had an absolutely fantastic ride! Prior to Mako in 2016, Swarm spent 2 years as my number 1 coaster, and while it’s not nearly that high for me now, today’s ride made me remember why I always used to admire it so much; the sense of speed on there is brilliant, there are some great forces, there are some wonderfully floaty inversions, and overall, there’s a lot to love about it! On the plus side, the restraints were also nowhere near as bothersome as they have been in terms of tightening; have they adjusted these? Overall, The Swarm certainly went back up a little in my estimations after today’s ride; it was absolutely awesome!:

After The Swarm, I’ll admit I got a little indecisive about what to do next. I briefly mulled over a reride on Detonator, and I also briefly mulled over a reride on Nemesis Inferno… but with how much I enjoyed it earlier, I made a spur-of-the-moment choice to reride Hyperia using the single rider queue. The queue was advertised at 110 minutes, and using the single rider queue, I got on in 75. Interestingly, Apple Weather said that wind gusts were now 36mph, 10mph faster than what it said when Hyperia was closed for wind earlier… yet Hyperia operated for the entire time I was in the queue, with only occasional vague threats of “we may potentially have to cease operation”. If nothing else, I think this speaks to the poor accuracy of Apple Weather! As for the ride itself, I was seated in row 5, and while I was concerned that the ride might be less potent in a middle seat, it hit every bit as hard as the previous ride, and if anything, some elements like the outerbank and the stall possibly felt more powerful further towards the front! I have to say that Hyperia today made me laugh and feel things like no coaster has in a while; in my slightly lighter year of only doing UK parks in 2025, it’s by far and away my favourite thing I’ve ridden this year, and my two rides on it have been my two favourite coaster rides of 2025 for sure:

After I got off Hyperia, 6pm had arrived and it was time to leave the park and head back to the station, so I bade Thorpe Park goodbye before heading out to catch an Uber back to Staines station:

Upon getting back to Staines station, I waited for my train to Reading, and I saw a rather cool Pullman vintage steam train pass through while I was there (apologies for the rubbish picture; I couldn’t take a picture of the front steam train car quickly enough…)! I unfortunately ended up being stranded in Reading for a solid hour due to my train back to Bristol being delayed by half an hour, which put a dampener on the end of the day; I ultimately arrived back in Bristol Parkway at just after 9:30pm and arrived back home at just after 10pm:

So, that brings my day at Thorpe Park to an end! I’d be lying if I said it was my most fruitful day at the park in terms of ride count, with me only managing 9 rides, but even still, I had a good day and it was nice to get back to Thorpe! I particularly enjoyed getting back on Hyperia; it really is an absolutely sublime ride, and I dare say I liked it even more than I did in 2024! But as well as that, I also enjoyed getting back on some other Thorpe favourites like Stealth, Inferno and Swarm, and I just generally enjoyed getting back to the park for my first time of 2025! I rarely have a bad day at Thorpe Park, and there’s just something about the place that I really like!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! This trip to Thorpe Park brings my 2025 season to an end. It’s definitely been a lighter year for me compared to the last couple, particularly in terms of new things (I guess that’s what happens when you choose to do a Master’s degree and have to do a dissertation over the summer), but I’ve still had some really enjoyable visits, and I have been pleased with my efficiency of coaster riding this year (despite only having 5 theme park visits this year, I’ve managed my second highest number of coaster rides in a year ever, being only 9 rides lower than last year!). I don’t know when my next park trip will be or where it will be to, but I’ll definitely report on it either way; I hope to hit the hobby a bit harder again in 2026, with some foreign travel potentially on the table!

27th July 2025: Alton Towers Day 2

We had our second day in the park today! I was looking forward to getting back into the park and doing some rerides, as well as potentially some things I hadn’t done on the first day!

After breakfast in the Alton Towers Hotel, which I actually thought was perfectly nice given all of the drama around Aramark, I headed into the park on my own and took advantage of a perk that I haven’t seen offered in years… Early Ride Time! I can’t think of the last time that I remember having Early Ride Time at Alton Towers for hotel guests, particularly the full hour from 9am, but it was on offer today, so I took full advantage! I left the hotel room at around 8:50am and got admitted into the park at bang on 9am after a short wait:

After entering the park, I headed to my first ride…

Nemesis

Nemesis was on a very short queue and was the only major thrill coaster open for ERT, so I decided to give it a go. I only waited 5 minutes, which I can never complain about, and I was on the ride swiftly. So, how was it? Well, I was in row 7, and it was brilliant as always; for a morning ride, the ride was running quickly, and packed brilliant speed and intensity! That initial sequence never fails to deliver, and overall, the ride was definitely a brilliant way to wake me up this morning:

After my first ride on Nemesis, I liked it so much that I headed straight back round for another while the queue was walk on! I was once again in row 7, and it was once again brilliant; I do love Nemesis, and it was running very well today!

After my second ride on Nemesis, I headed over to Katanga Canyon to get on a ride I didn’t do yesterday…

Runaway Mine Train

Runaway Mine Train was part of the ERT lineup and on a 5 minute advertised queue time, so as I hadn’t ridden it yesterday, I decided to give it a go. The queue time board stayed true to its word, and I was pretty much batched onto the next cycle after joining the queue. So, how was the ride? Well, I’ve always had a soft spot for the Runaway Mine Train, and today was no exception; I was seated in row 15, and the ride was good fun! Of the powered coasters I’ve ridden, I do think that RMT has one of the strongest layouts; it maintains good speed throughout, and that helix into the tunnel is surprisingly intense for a family coaster! All in all, then, I was glad to get back on Runaway Mine Train; in a way, going on it almost makes me nostalgic for the Alton Towers trips of my childhood, what with it being one of my first ever coasters back when I first rode it in 2009:

After I got off the Runaway Mine Train, it was around 9:40am, so I decided to head over and join the pre-opening queue for my in-park favourite…

Wicker Man

Wicker Man is an ever popular ride and I was keen to do it again, so I decided to get into the pre-opening queue and try to score an early ride. The pre-opening queue was not overly long, and I ultimately got on the ride in around 30 minutes after it opened; for a popular ride like Wicker Man first thing in the morning, I don’t think that’s too bad! So, how was the ride? Well, after my slightly more middling seat placements yesterday, I was very pleased that my single rider status benefitted me today, as I scored row 11! And I have to say that this ride was definitely a cut above any of the rides I had yesterday; Wicker Man is always excellent, but a ride towards the back of the train is a definite cut above the rest, in my view! When on the back, you really feel the  speed and whip, and there’s also quite a bit more airtime as well! Today’s row 11 ride absolutely creased me like very few rides I’ve ever done; I find Wicker Man so much fun, and the back of the train is especially fun:

After I got off Wicker Man, my parents entered the park, and me and my dad headed to ride…

Oblivion

Oblivion was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so me and my dad decided to give it a go, as my dad loves Oblivion and hadn’t done it yesterday. However, we decided to do something slightly different… even though we were together, we decided to go in the single rider queue and ride separately in an attempt to reduce our queueing time. This was very successful, as we got on in less than 5 minutes… and even more successful in that we got unexpectedly batched together! I’m not sure that is technically how single rider is supposed to work, but I’m certainly not going to complain! But how was the ride? Well, as with yesterday, Oblivion was absolutely fantastic; I had a particularly loose restraint on today’s ride, and I absolutely flew out of the seat! The speed in the tunnel was also hitting hard as always; even having ridden the likes of Red Force, I still think that Oblivion’s tunnel is quite possibly one of the fastest feeling roller coaster moments I’ve ever experienced. That tunnel feels ridiculously fast! On the brake run, my dad and I were enthusiastically agreeing with each other that the tunnel on Oblivion definitely adds something to the experience compared to SheiKra; it’s taken me years to realise it, but I definitely now think Oblivion is the superior Dive Coaster for me. It may be short, but that drop-tunnel combo hits every time!:

After we got off Oblivion, I decided to head for a single rider ride on the other coaster in the area…

The Smiler

The Smiler was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, but as I was on my own (mum and dad didn’t fancy Smiler after yesterday’s ride), I decided to go in the single rider queue to give Smiler a go. And as per usual with my single rider exploits, I did make a time saving, getting on in just 15 minutes; I can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 3, and it was a little bit smoother than yesterday… but I’m still not a great fan of The Smiler. It’s a ride I really want to like, as I think the layout is creative on paper, but there’s something that doesn’t quite rub me the right way about how the layout rides in practice. The restraint was also tightening horribly today; it seemed to have my thighs locked into an almost vice-like grip after the first half, and I couldn’t move them at all, which definitely impeded my enjoyment. Perhaps controversially, I almost think the restraints impede my enjoyment of Smiler more than the roughness; I do find it tough to enjoy myself on there when the harness is digging into my thighs so much:

After my ride on The Smiler, I met back up with my parents, and me and my mum headed to…

Thirteen

Thirteen was on an advertised 50 minute queue time, but after me and my dad’s single rider success on Oblivion earlier in the day, me and my mum decided to go up the single rider queue and ride separately. We did not get batched together like me and my dad did, but in terms of time, it was possibly the biggest single rider success yet; there was no one ahead of us in the queue, I was batched onto the next train, and my mum was batched onto the one after! You can’t complain about skipping a 50 minute queue without using Fastrack! But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 6, and once again, it was a really decent ride. Even without the first drop pull of the back, I still really like the outdoor section of Thirteen, but the indoor section and backwards helix is where it really comes into its own! All in all, then, Thirteen was thoroughly enjoyable, and I was gratified by another single rider success:

After I got off Thirteen, I decided to go on an attraction that I hadn’t ridden in a couple of years…

Hex

Hex was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. Neither of my parents wanted to go on Hex, so I went alone for this one, and I ultimately got on in around 10 minutes. So, how was it? Well, I was interested to ride Hex again, as I hadn’t done it since March 2023, and the ride has been renovated somewhat since my last visit, following its period of extended closure. The changes have been contentious to say the least, but I have to say that perhaps controversially, I think the changes made have really enhanced the experience! They seem to have added loads of little enhancements; little things like the on-cue lighting in the cinema room and the big pyrotechnic that they’ve added in the Octagon are absolutely awesome additions, and I also really like the very controversial new lighting in the vault! Overall, then, it was really nice to get back on Hex; I wouldn’t say the Madhouse ride system is my absolute favourite, but of the four I’ve ridden, Hex is definitely my favourite example of the genre. It’s brilliantly theatrical, and I also think it feels brilliantly ambient in a way that none of the others do. Those new changes were a brilliant move for me that have made it possibly the best I’ve ever known it be:

After Hex, it was around 12:20pm, and mum and dad made it abundantly clear that they were ready to start gradually heading towards an exit. As such, we headed over to some of the final rides of the day in Forbidden Valley via the Skyride. It was really nice to get back on there for the first time since 2022; I got some interesting views of The Gardens, and when we stopped in the air at one point, the wire bounced possibly mode than I’ve ever known it bounce!:

After the Skyride, my dad and I headed for a reride on Nemesis, on an advertised 30 minute queue time. The advertised queue time was broadly pretty accurate, with us waiting for 35 minutes or so, and this time, we got really lucky and scored the front row. This was the first time since the retrack that I’ve ridden the front row on Nemesis, and I have to say that the ride really comes into its own on the front; in contrast with Wicker Man, Nemesis is 100% a front row coaster for me! The sense of speed in the front is absolutely astonishing, and the near misses are quite something; that initial sequence with the helix and the zero-g roll in particular is sublime in the front! That ride was definitely one of the highlights of the trip for me, and I was really glad to score a front row ride on there:

After that awesome front row ride on Nemesis, I headed for my final ride of the trip…

Galactica

Galactica was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to give it another go. I pondered using the single rider queue, but as the main queue was so short (not even stretching to the merge point), I decided not to bother. 10 minutes was if anything an overstatement; I was on that ride within 5 minutes! So, how was the ride? Well, as with yesterday, I have to say that I actually enjoyed Galactica a fair bit more than I have on previous visits. I was seated in row 6, and while I would never describe Galactica as a favourite of mine and would still say that the position is a bit uncomfortable, the ride was good fun. In that position, I very much appreciate Galactica’s focus on slightly gentler manoeuvres more than the focus of the bigger B&M flyers on big, intense elements! All in all, then, Galactica, while not an absolute favourite of mine, was still a fun way to end the trip:

After Galactica, it was 1:30pm and my mum and dad had had enough, so we headed out of the park via the Galactica gate and headed home, getting off Alton Towers property by 1:45pm.

So, that wraps up our second day at Alton Towers, as well as the trip more broadly! Even though today was a bit shorter than yesterday, it was still fruitful; I got on 11 rides including the Skyride, and 10 rides even excluding it, which is not to be sniffed at given I was only in the park for a total of 4.5 hours, in my view! I also greatly appreciated having ERT for the first time in years, and I had some of my best rides of the trip today; Wicker Man on row 11 was incredible, but Nemesis on the front was also a huge highlight! And on the whole, it was another fruitful day to cap off a generally excellent trip to Alton Towers; I know I’ve been to Alton Towers a lot over the years, but when on form, it still does it for me like no other park in the country!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! I’m not sure when my next trip report will be, but chances are that it will either be from Thorpe Park or a visit to Barry Island Pleasure Park to go and tick off some more local cuisine theme park-wise!

26th July 2025: Alton Towers Day 1

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; it was the first day of my annual Alton Towers visit for 2025! After a rather light season so far, comprised mainly of my MSc course aside from two visits to Blackpool and Paultons Park, I was looking forward to returning to some more familiar turf and getting on some of my favourite rides in the UK, as well as checking out the new for 2025 addition: Toxicator! As an added bonus, I also have two days on park and an overnight stay in the Alton Towers Hotel, so I’m going back in tomorrow as well!

We left our home in Gloucestershire at around 7:30am and arrived on site at Alton Towers a little after 10am. The satnav went a little bit rogue, taking us off the M6 at Cannock and sending us through Cannock, Rugeley and many other previously unseen bits of rural Staffordshire, but the journey was mostly seamless aside from a little bit of queueing around JCB due to the LIV Golf event (which we turned the satnav on specifically to avoid, but it unfortunately failed us in this endeavour!). After we parked up, I headed on in to the park ahead of my parents and passed the threshold at the hotel entrance at around 10:15am:

After entering the park, I headed to my first ride…

Galactica

Galactica was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I thought I’d be foolish not to take a ride on there seeing as I was right next to it! The queue time board stayed pretty true to its word, with the queue only taking around 10 minutes; you can never complain about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I’m not normally the biggest fan of Galactica, but I have to say that it was perfectly enjoyable today! I was sat in row 4, and there was some nice speed and fun twisty bits! Perhaps controversially, I do find Galactica more enjoyable than the larger B&M flying coaster I’ve ridden, Manta, because I don’t like the pretzel loop on Manta and Galactica is much more tolerable in terms of forces. I still don’t find the position the most comfortable, and would never describe it as a favourite of mine, but it was better than I’d remembered and it rode perfectly pleasantly today:

After Galactica, I met up with my dad, and we headed to ride the other coaster in the area…

Nemesis

Nemesis was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride on there. We got on the ride within about 5 minutes of passing the entrance, when you include the walk to find the back of the queue; Nemesis’ queue is quite a walk, even with bits of it closed! But how was the ride? Well, I’ve always loved Nemesis, and today was no exception! For something that’s not overly tall or fast, the ride packs absolutely superb speed and intensity, and some of those sequences of elements are truly inspired! I particularly love the sequence leading from the first drop through to the zero-g roll; the sheer build up of speed there is so exhilarating! I also have to say that I maintain my view from last year regarding the rattle; I think the discussion about it is over egged myself. I do not find it to impede my enjoyment at all, even in the outer seats; it’s there, but I find it largely benign and honestly hardly notice it most of the time. Overall, then, I thoroughly enjoyed my ride on Nemesis; it’s definitely one of my favourite coasters on park (albeit not quite my very favourite), and I loved getting back on there:

After we got off Nemesis, I split off from my parents to head to something a bit different…

Toxicator

Toxicator was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so as it was the new draw for the year, I decided to give it a go. As with the other two Forbidden Valley rides, the queue only took around 10 minutes; for a new ride, I can’t complain about that! But how was it? Well, I’m not a big flat ride lover, but I never did Ripsaw when it operated, so resultantly, Toxicator was my first ever Huss Top Spin and I wanted to give it a try for that reason alone. I was interested to see how it rode, but also mildly nervous to see how wet I would get given it wasn’t that warm and I’d heard tales of people getting absolutely soaked by Toxicator with the fountains on. The ride looks really nice with all the theming and audio, and I have to say that I did not get nearly as wet as I’d feared, with only one fountain spray on my legs… but I’m really sorry to say that I did not like Toxicator at all, and found the experience absolutely vile. My reasons for not liking it are two fold; the first is that it does a lot of that sustained upside down hangtime that I absolutely hate, which turned me off it, and the second is that if I’m being honest, I think I find all the flipping in a row too much in terms of nausea and too violent for my liking. It is quite violent when it flips over and over, and I didn’t like it at all. I’m sorry if that’s controversial, as I know people have been raving about it as well as the likes of Talocan which is the same ride style, but as someone who doesn’t go mad for flat rides in general, I would say that Toxicator was right down there with Air Race at Drayton Manor and Samurai at Thorpe Park as one of the most vile I’ve ridden. In a park packed with brilliant rides like Alton Towers, it’s definitely a one and done for me; I don’t see myself rushing to ride it again any time soon:

After Toxicator, my mum fancied a ride on Nemesis, having not ridden it earlier. I was never going to say no to a reride on Nemesis, and after a 15-20 minute queue, we were once again seated in row 5, and it was once again absolutely excellent. While I’m on the subject, I should also add that operations on both Forbidden Valley coasters were absolutely superb; Nemesis was on 2 trains and hardly stacking, and Galactica was on 3 trains and 2 stations and in “slowing down on the lift hill” territory, which I think is brilliant myself:

After an awesome reride on Nemesis, we headed out of Forbidden Valley towards some of the other rides, taking a dark ride detour on the way…

The Curse at Alton Manor

Curse was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so as it was on our way out towards the rest of the park, me and my dad decided to have a go on there. If anything, the 5 minute queue time was overstated, as we practically walked straight on there; Curse is a very reliable walk on ride! So, how was it? Well, I have to say it was very good; I think it was a brilliant overhaul that vastly improved on Duel, and it was on fine form today, with pretty much every effect working! One effect on there that I’m a particular fan of is the Trommel Tunnel; when working properly, that is a really cool effect, particularly with the clock at the end of the tunnel! I also really like the whole story they added to the ride, as well as some of the projection mapping, and the effect with the mirror and the finale are some other really cool effects! I’ll admit that 1 or 2 of the projections (namely the skull and Emily popping out of the coffin) look a bit naff, but on the whole, I think the revamp was a major victory for that ride in that it made it a good, cohesive dark ride again! I’ll admit, though, that I do get a bit jumpy in there at times, and I think it’s about the top of the scare threshold I can tolerate; it’s the air cannons that get me! Given that some air cannons and audio on Curse make me jumpy, I think it’s perhaps for the best that I don’t do actor led attractions like Sub-Terra:

After Curse, we headed down the Haunted Hollow to our next coaster…

Wicker Man

Wicker Man was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, so we decided to take a ride on there. As it turned out, the 45 minute queue time was overstated, taking only 30-35 minutes; you can never complain when that happens! As usual, operations were really good on there, with 3 trains running and dispatches being prompt, but I have to say that I do think they could maybe do with getting rid of the pre-show on there now, or at very least not holding you in there like they do. I noticed that they were often having to wait for the pre-show to end to fill trains on occasion, so it does seem to slow things down a tad at times. That’s enough about the operations, though; how was the ride? Well, I do absolutely love Wicker Man, and today was no exception; I was seated in row 7, and it was a phenomenal ride! It’s perhaps controversially my favourite ride on park, for the simple reason that while not the most intense of rides per se, it is possibly one of the most fun coasters out there, and absolutely creases me every time! It’s still no slouch layout-wise, though; the sense of speed in places, particularly on that first s-bend drop and buildup beforehand, is absolutely amazing for a coaster that only goes 44mph, there’s some nice airtime in places, the laterals are really good fun without being excessive (and I say that as someone who doesn’t rate wild mouse coasters at all because I don’t go nuts for excessive laterals), and the layout is twisty, fun and generally flows really nicely and is great fun to ride! It’s also really smooth and comfortable for a wooden coaster, and on the whole, I just find it so much fun and like it a whole lot more than I feel I should! This first ride was made unique, though, by the company sat behind us; my dad was sat next to a teenage girl who let out possibly the loudest, most piercing screams I’ve ever heard on a ride from the second we pulled out of the station! I think we were all slightly deafened by the end of the experience, and it reduced my mum to fits of laughter! Overall, though, that first ride on Wicker Man was phenomenal as ever; I do love getting back on there:

I had noticed while climbing the lift hill on Wicker Man that the queue had dropped significantly, so after we got off, I hopped straight back in the queue for another go while my parents went and ate lunch. I waited around 25 minutes for this reride, and it was once again phenomenal! I did, however, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in trying to get the back; I was in the right order in the queue to be assigned to row 12, but as I was a single rider, I was asked to stand aside and instead ended up in row 3 due to a group of 5 coming directly behind me! The ride was still awesome nonetheless, and the operator on there acted exactly as they should have done to maximise operational efficiency, but even still, I was slightly disappointed to miss out on the back so narrowly!

After I got off Wicker Man, I headed back to meet my parents and eat my own lunch before we headed together to ride our next coaster…

The Smiler

The Smiler was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so we decided to have a go on there. The queue was in fact overstated, taking only around 20 minutes; that’s always a bonus, particularly on a popular ride like Smiler! But how was the ride? Well, we were seated in row 2, and I have to say that it’s not the best ride I’ve ever had on there. There were a fair few rough bits, albeit it perhaps wasn’t quite as bad as the last time I rode it, and the restraints also seemed to tighten quite uncomfortably during the ride. I don’t hugely rate The Smiler, if I’m honest; it’s not a terrible ride by any means, but I find it a little bit too rough in places, and I also find the layout, although creative, feels a little bit repetitive in its motions in a flat ride-style manner that makes me feel a tad queasy. I have to say, though, that the second airtime hill on there is awesome! Overall, then, Smiler wasn’t my favourite ride of the day, and I think my parents agreed; both of them admitted that while they were impressed by it, they were unsure if they actually liked it. My mum in particular said she found it “a bit too rough”:

After we got off The Smiler, we were initially going to ride Oblivion, but the ride was experiencing a temporary delay, so we instead decided to head over to…

Thirteen

Thirteen was on an advertised 45 minute queue and was one of only 2 big coasters I hadn’t done today, so we decided to head over there. Well, I say “we”, but my parents told me to head on over on my own and I ended up riding alone. As such, I decided to use a secret weapon that I have never been able to use on Thirteen before… the single rider queue! This was added to Thirteen at the end of last year, and I have to say that I found this offering highly beneficial; on the first ride, I was batched promptly at the baggage hold, and I almost entirely bypassed a 45 minute standby queue… as I got on the ride in 5 minutes. I can’t quibble with that at all! So, how was the ride? Well, I actually scored the back row on there for the first time in ages, and it was brilliant! Thirteen has definitely grown on me over the years, and this ride was great fun! As I was in the back, the first drop had some surprising airtime, with me really getting pulled out of my seat, the outdoor section had some fun twists, turns and mild pops of airtime, and the indoor section was a laugh as ever! I always find that backwards section so funny, and I find it feels a lot faster than it likely is in reality when you’re in the darkness! Overall, then, I really enjoyed Thirteen; I think it’s a brilliant ride, and I find it really good fun:

After my brilliant ride on Thirteen, I met back up with my parents, thinking that we might ride something else together… but at this point, they decided that they were going to exit the park, play the free round of Extraordinary Golf that came free with the hotel room and check in early. As such, I was left to my own devices from here on in.

The first thing I did, while I was in Dark Forest, was have another single rider reride on Thirteen. As the single rider queue was so quiet and I found the first ride so enjoyable, I thought “why not?”. The single rider queue was a little busier this time, but still only took 15 minutes, which I can’t complain about given that the main queue was still 45! As I was in the station a little longer, I should mention that I also got a more comprehensive view of operations on there, and I have to say that they were absolutely outstanding today! The average dispatch interval was less than a minute, and at times, they were attaining 50s intervals on there. There were times where the staff were checking the trains so fast that they were having to usher people off the exit platform from the previous train before they could dispatch… it was brilliant! As for the ride itself, I was seated in row 5, and it was once again really good fun, although the punchy first drop from the back row ride was lacking this time.

After I got off Thirteen, I headed to X-Sector to tick off the final operating big coaster that I hadn’t ridden today…

Oblivion

Oblivion was on an advertised 25 minute queue, so as it was the last major coaster I hadn’t yet done, I decided to give it a whirl! As with Thirteen, Oblivion has obtained a newly added single rider queue since my last visit; I used this to great effect, getting on the ride in just 10 minutes! So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that it was absolutely fantastic; I love Oblivion, and today was no exception! It’s a coaster that’s grown on me a lot over the years; when I was younger, I used to put it down a lot for being short, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve grown to value how well it executes the few seconds of ride time it has. It may be less than 10 seconds long, but those seconds are sublime; the sustained airtime on the drop is wonderful, and the raw sense of speed in the tunnel provides raw exhilaration quite unlike few coasters I’ve ever ridden! Even though Oblivion is short, I’m a fan of anything with speed, airtime and a comfortable, rerideable ride experience in tandem, and it ticks all of those boxes for me; this might sound like a bizarre take, but I think it’s probably the closest thing Alton Towers has in terms of sensations to a big, airtime-focused hyper coaster, and I like it for that! Another potentially hot take that I grew to realise today is that I think I might marginally prefer Oblivion to SheiKra; while SheiKra has raw size and additional length on its side, the sense of speed in Oblivion’s tunnel is quite unlike anything SheiKra offers; you really feel the speed down there! All in all, then, I loved getting back on Oblivion; short though it may be, I think it’s absolutely fantastic, and it’s my favourite steel coaster on park (yes, I put it ahead of Nemesis!):

After I got off Oblivion, I went back round again not once more, not twice more, but three times more, capping off my Oblivion tally for today at four rides. I think it’s probably the most easily rerideable coaster in Alton Towers for me; while I personally prefer Wicker Man by a small margin, the faff of the pre-show and the often longer queues make Wicker Man a less effortless reride than Oblivion, in my personal opinion. Oblivion is a very fun coaster to lap, particularly with the single rider queue; this provided me with queues no longer than 10 minutes on all four occasions today!

After my Oblivion riding session ended, I headed to ride a coaster that I hadn’t done in a little while…

Spinball Whizzer

Spinball Whizzer was on an advertised 25 minute queue time, but the single rider queue looked very short, so as I hadn’t actually ridden it since 2022, I decided to give Spinball a go. Once again, the single rider queue was highly beneficial, getting me on the ride in only 5 minutes; I can’t complain about that at all! But how was the ride? Well, Spinball is my least ridden coaster at Alton Towers aside from Octonauts, and today’s ride made me remember why; I’m not a massive fan of it, and would probably say that it’s my least favourite of the bigger coasters at Alton Towers. I’m not the world’s biggest lover of spinning coasters anyway, and as with a lot of the Maurer spinning coasters, Spinball can get quite spinny. As well as that, I also find it very jolty and jerky in places, which doesn’t make for the most pleasant of ride experiences. Overall, then, Spinball has a fun enough layout and is a nice family coaster for the park, but it’s not one I hugely rate, unfortunately. Nonetheless, it was interesting to get back on there after a 3 year hiatus:

After I got off Spinball Whizzer, I headed over to Wicker Man for another reride. This time, I was seated in row 5, and it was once again phenomenally fun, although I was seated next to a Brummie gentleman who wouldn’t stop effing and blinding as we negotiated the circuit:

After I got off Wicker Man, I headed over to Forbidden Valley for one final reride on Nemesis. I was seated in row 6 this time, and it was once again absolutely fantastic; the ride had warmed up wonderfully, and that first sequence of elements in particular was hitting hard:

After I got off Nemesis, it was around 5:45pm, and as I had to meet my parents for a dinner reservation, I left the park there. In retrospect, I substantially overestimated how long it would take me to walk from the Galactica gate to the hotel and could probably have squeezed in another ride on Nemesis, but I didn’t want to be late to arrive back with my parents:

Before I wrap up the trip report, I should probably mention where we ate this evening, seeing as food, or more specifically avoiding the on-resort offering, is a hot topic at Alton Towers currently. We went to The Bull’s Head in Alton, and despite highly mixed TripAdvisor reviews that were worrying my mum, we thought it was absolutely lovely! The staff were pleasant, the food was lovely, the service was quick, and on the whole, we couldn’t recommend it enough if you’re wanting to avoid the on-resort food offering at Alton Towers, even if it is admittedly slightly difficult to park! We did have an interesting experience when coming back, though, as the main resort entrance was closed and we had to re-enter Alton Towers through the staff entrance… we were greeted by a security guard who looked surprised to see us and gave us a slightly bemused “Good evening!”. We then went back to our room and briefly sat down in the hotel bar… although I must admit that I didn’t stay down there long as I found the entertainment a bit too loud. Does anyone else find the entertainment in the Alton Towers Hotel absolutely deafening when you’re sat having a drink in the bar, or am I just too miserable?

So, I think that just about does if for our day at Alton Towers! I had an excellent day; if you’ve lost track, I got 17 rides, which might be the highest number I’ve ever managed at Alton Towers! This included at least one ride on every big coaster that was operating and rerides on multiple, so I was chuffed with that! Crowds weren’t too heavy for a Saturday in the summer holidays, and given how much flack Alton Towers receives in enthusiast circles nowadays, I have to say that operations were also broadly excellent; dispatch times were excellent in most cases, and ride availability was also pretty good, with relatively limited downtime. I was also a big fan of the proliferation of single rider queues; so many rides have them now, and it’s awesome! Rides-wise, I have to say that Wicker Man was my highlight as always, but Oblivion and Nemesis are also rides that I’m a big fan of, and I also really enjoyed Thirteen today… there’s so much to pick from in Alton Towers! As a coaster fan in the UK, I almost feel like a child in a sweet shop when I visit Alton, with there being so much good stuff to ride; it is quite unlike most other UK parks in that regard, with only Thorpe seriously competing with Alton Towers in that sense for me! All in all, though, I had an excellent day today, and I can’t wait to head back in tomorrow!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Keep your eyes peeled for another report tomorrow, as we head back into Alton Towers for another day of fun!

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; in the words of our former Prime Minister Boris Johnson, “I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World”… yes, I returned to Paultons Park in Hampshire! I hadn’t been to the park since 2021, but I felt that the addition of Ghostly Manor, a unique new interactive dark ride, was the perfect excuse for me to return!

The day started at around 6:45am, with a 30 minute drive across the Welsh border to Severn Tunnel Junction railway station in Wales to catch my train. I took a Great Western Railway service down to Romsey, and it was a journey of two distinct sections. Up to Bristol Temple Meads, the train was hideously overcrowded like few I’d ever seen before (the only comparable trains I’ve seen were trains to Cheltenham during Cheltenham Festival week… I was stood rubbing shoulder to shoulder with people in the foyer!). However, there was a mass exodus at Temple Meads and I managed to bag a window seat for the remaining trek down to Romsey, and the remainder of the journey was a wonderfully quiet, pleasant and scenic train ride down through the West Country. The journey time was roughly 2 hours, and I ended up reaching Romsey on time at just before 10am:

After getting off the train, I took a taxi from the station to Paultons Park. This was prompt, and allowed me to make good time for entry at around 10:10am:

If it isn’t apparent from the pictures, it was raining a fair amount when I entered the park, and as none of the rides on the Lost Kingdom side were open, I initially decided to head to Ghostly Manor to take refuge from the rain. I waited in the indoor queue for around 5 minutes ahead of a terribly irritating Year 6 school group who would not stop shouting and screaming, but unfortunately, the ride went down and the queue was evacuated:

As such, I decided to start my day on a coaster…

Storm Chaser

Storm Chaser was open and completely deserted, so I went for a spin on there. I was the first rider of the day, apparently, despite the park having been open for at least 20 minutes at this point! I was swiftly joined by 1 or 2 other people, and then the train was sent. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the front row, and my memories from 2021 of it being a fun and enjoyable family coaster were reaffirmed. It was a fun ride; it packs a surprising amount of speed, is smooth, and also has some pretty intense and thrilling moments for a family coaster. That low helix in particular is surprisingly forceful! As someone who isn’t a huge lover of things that spin excessively, I also find that the ride offers a good spin without being excessive; I found the spin level tolerable and fun! Overall, then, I thoroughly enjoyed my first ride of the day on Storm Chaser; it was a really good way to start off the day:

After my ride on Storm Chaser, there was no one waiting to get on, so as was encouraged by the ride staff I decided to stay on and go around for another highly enjoyable lap (although technically, my row had reverted to row 2 due to the car switching direction)!

After my second ride on Storm Chaser, I scouted out Tornado Springs to see what was open. I was, rather eerily, the only person I could see in the area, so it was hard to tell! As it turned out, Farmyard Flyer and Cyclonator did not open until 12pm, but despite it being deserted, a Tornado Springs ride I hadn’t previously tried was open, so I decided to give that a try…

Windmill Towers

Windmill Towers was open despite its deserted appearance, so as I hadn’t previously done it, I decided to give it a try. I’d been told that these towers were “more forceful than Magma” before trying them, so as someone who loves a good drop tower, I was naturally curious! So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that it was really good fun! Don’t get me wrong, it is not some intense, world-beating drop tower extravaganza by any means, but there were some very fun tickles of airtime that really made me chuckle! It has a surprisingly long cycle as well, so you get plenty of giggly airtime pops for your money! All in all, then, I thought Windmill Towers was a good, fun drop tower; I definitely enjoyed giving it a go:

After my ride on Windmill Towers, I was unsure whether the Lost Kingdom side coasters had opened yet and I wanted to give Ghostly Manor a little time to reopen, so I firstly decided to reride Storm Chaser while in Tornado Springs. I was the only person in the area, so I bagged not one, but two consecutive back row rides! These were once again very good fun; it felt like the ride packed a bit more speed at the back!

After my rerides on Storm Chaser, I decided to head to another coaster in the near(ish) vicinity…

Cat-O-Pillar

Cat-O-Pillar was open and, like pretty much everything else I’d encountered so far, walk-on, so I decided to take a ride while I was in the area. Unlike Windmill Towers and the previous two rides on Storm Chaser, however, there were people on the train, so I waltzed into row 4 to take my ride. So, how was it? Well, as smaller family coasters go, I do often quite like a Zierer Tivoli, and Cat-O-Pillar wasn’t riding badly! I always find it really quirky how you seem to speed up going uphill when you sit towards the front of these coasters, and Cat-O-Pillar was showing this off quite nicely, with some fun helixes! The ride was also smooth, which I was glad of after the surprisingly jolty Egg-Spress at Pleasurewood Hills last year; this was certainly more enjoyable! Overall, then, I enjoyed my ride on Cat-O-Pillar, and thought it provided a perfectly fine Tivoli experience:

After my ride on Cat-O-Pillar, the new ride had reopened, so I decided to head to…

Ghostly Manor

Ghostly Manor was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so I decided to give it a go. This queue time was if anything overstated, as only one group were ahead of me and I got on very promptly! So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that it was really good fun! There’s some really cool theming on there, with some of the scenes having a really nice blend of screens and physical set pieces and animatronics! The queue line also has some really nice theming, and while the ride is more “shooting gallery” like in style, I think it works without feeling monotonous. I’ll do a longer review, as I do have some minor nitpicky critiques to suggest, but overall, I think it’s a really cool addition to the park and works well! Incidentally, my score on the first ride was 43,600; given that I'm not typically very good at shooting dark rides, I wasn't displeased with this:

After Ghostly Manor, some of the Lost Kingdom side coasters had opened, so I headed for my first ride of the day on…

Flight of the Pterosaur

Flight of the Pterosaur was walk on, so I decided to hop on there and take a ride. The station was very quiet, with only one other group up front, so I hopped on the back. But how was the ride? Well, I’d remembered Pterosaur being great fun in 2021, and the ride was if anything better than I’d remembered; this thing is such good fun! I like a good inverted coaster, and while this is more of a family ride, it still packs a good sense of speed for its intended scale, with some of the drops feeling good and fast! There are also some surprisingly forceful moments; that ending helix in particular is absolutely awesome, and almost reminds me of a family version of Nemesis’ helix! It’s also really smooth and comfortable (those restraints are wonderful!), and all in all, I just find it really enjoyable! If I were to rank, I’d say that this is probably my favourite coaster in the park; as fun as Storm Chaser is, Pterosaur is a little more my thing. Simply put, I think I’d take an inverted coaster over a spinning coaster 9 times out of 10:

After I got off Pterosaur, I headed for the other coaster in the area…

Velociraptor

Velociraptor was absolutely deserted, so I decided to give it a go. I was the only person in the queue or the station, and the host looked somewhat surprised to see me, so as with some of the other rides I’d done today, I ended up having the ride entirely to myself! So, how was it? Well, it had been a few years since I’d ridden Velociraptor, but I remembered it being a relatively strong example of a family shuttle coaster, and that view was reaffirmed; if anything, it was slightly better than I’d remembered! The forward portion of the layout is smooth, fun, and keeps quite a good sense of speed, even packing a mild pop of airtime! I’ll admit that I don’t like the backwards portion as much, and family shuttle coasters aren’t a ride style I tend to go nuts for in general, but I think Velociraptor is probably the strongest I’ve ridden, narrowly beating Accelerator and the two sides of Minifigure Speedway. It was a fun ride overall:

After my ride on Velociraptor, I decided to bring out my slightly more shameless side and grab a new credit…

Dino Chase

Some of you may know that I often don’t ride kiddie coasters, but as there was no one in the queue or on the ride and I had just seen a group of 3 who definitely weren’t children get off it, I decided to put aside my kiddie coaster reservations and nab a credit that I didn’t get in 2021 on Dino Chase. The host was friendly and didn’t draw any attention to me not being a child, I sat discreetly in the front row, and there was no one in the area; it was possibly the least embarrassing kiddie coaster ride I’ve ever had, and I got a solo ride to boot! So, how was the ride itself? Well, Dino Chase is what it is, really. The ride did pack surprising vigour in places for something so small, but it is ultimately an oval-shaped layout designed for children, so it’s not ever going to hit any top coaster lists. I was glad to tick off the credit (#136 in the count!) and overcome my kiddie coaster embarrassment with such an inoffensive experience, though:

After Dino Chase, I headed for two back-to-back rerides on Flight of the Pterosaur. I had one in the front and one in the back, and they were once again great fun with some great forces. And I also had the whole train to myself on both rides!

I then had two back-to-back rerides on Velociraptor. Both of these were on the back row, and were good fun; I think I preferred the back to the front, as the ride packed more speed through the fun forwards portion!

This was then followed by two further back-to-back Flight of the Pterosaur rerides on the back row. Once again, these were great fun!

I then headed onto another attraction I’d never done before…

Dinosaur Tour Co

Dinosaur Tour Co was absolutely deserted, so I decided to give it a go. I hadn’t done this on my 2021 visit and it looked as though it might have some nice animatronics (and I honestly wondered if I should pace myself with something slower given that this was my 17th ride and it wasn’t even 12pm…). I walked straight onto the ride and was off in no time at all! But how was the ride? Well, I have to say it was quite charming! The voiceover and dinosaur animatronics were really sweet, and the indoor scene was an unexpected surprise, particularly the effect at the end! I will say, though, that this had very tight legroom; if you are somewhat on the taller side (I’m 5’10”, for reference), it might be worth keeping in mind. I bashed my knee quite hard on the steering wheel getting out of the truck! The ride was fun, though, and a nice way to have a bit of a gentle detour between coasters:

After I got off Dinosaur Tour Co, it had hit 12pm, and another major coaster had opened up, so resultantly, I headed over to...

Cobra

Cobra was, as you've probably guessed, absolutely deserted, so as a result, I walked straight onto the ride, sat straight down in an empty car and was sent in a jiffy. It is great when that happens, and it was a continuing theme throughout the day! So, how was the ride? Well, I'd remembered quite liking Cobra in 2021, but unfortunately, I wasn't quite as much of a fan this time. It's not a terrible ride by any means; some of the turns and airtime moments are good fun! There's one key bit that really brings it down for me, though, and that's the sequence of wild mouse-style turns. I am not a fan of the harsh laterals provided by wild mouse-style coasters at all, and unfortunately, I wasn't a fan of Cobra's either. The fact that this sequence is only one part of a wider layout containing some more fun elements like helixes, turns and airtime moments puts Cobra well above any regular wild mouse I've ridden, but I still wouldn't say I rated it as highly as I did in 2021, and I dare say it's possibly my least favourite of Paultons' current 4 big coasters. I can sense that might be a controversial one, as lots of people like Gerstlauer Bobsled Coasters, but it's a little bit too wild mouse-adjacent for my personal liking, even if the harsh laterals don't make up the entire ride like they do on wild mice. Cobra was still fun overall, but it wasn't quite doing it for me today like it did in 2021, if I'm honest:

After getting off Cobra, I headed back to the other side of the park, riding Ghostly Manor again en route. I once again found the experience really enjoyable; I was noticing new details that I didn't see on the first ride, and I got an improved score of 54,900 this time!

After riding Ghostly Manor, I then headed into Tornado Springs to tick off another new credit that had now opened for the day...

Farmyard Flyer

As with everything else, Farmyard Flyer was deserted and walk-on, so as this coaster had been built since my last trip to Paultons and I therefore didn't have the credit, I decided to give it a try. The ride hadn't long opened, seeing as it was scheduled to open at 12pm like Cobra, and the only two other people in the station were two young boys who parked themselves at the front, so I promptly parked myself at the back to get on the next train. So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that it is very well themed; the queue is absolutely lovely, with loads of little details, and the ride itself has some really nice bits of theming in it too! That is where my superlative praise ends, however, as I'd say the ride itself is average at best, if I'm honest. It's my favourite new-to-me coaster that I've ridden so far in 2025, but given that the sole competition is Dino Chase (tiny) and the leftmost side of Steeplechase (vile), that's not a particularly high bar! Similarly to Dino Chase (albeit bigger and less embarrassing for adults to ride), it is what it is; it's a children's roller coaster that's fun enough for the intended audience, but is not going to make any top coaster lists for older riders. I will say, though, that it is surprisingly jolty... it's not rough per se, but definitely not smooth for a 3 year old family coaster, and has its fair share of lumps and bumps. Overall, then, I'd say that Farmyard Flyer is beautifully themed, but is very much something that I'd say has limited appeal outside of the children's coaster demographic. It's not something I'd rush to reride on a future visit:

After Farmyard Flyer, I had two back-to-back rerides on Storm Chaser in the front row. Once again, the ride was highly enjoyable, although I should say that the rain was coming down a little harder and was paired with a stiff breeze. The wind made the ride feel more exhilarating, but the rain did make the experience feel a little like being waterboarded!

After the two Storm Chaser rerides, I headed for a flat ride...

Cyclonator

Cyclonator, as with everything else, was very quiet (that would be a good drinking game... take a shot every time I mention crowd levels in this trip report!), so I gave it a go. I had a one-cycle wait, though, which was possibly in contention for the longest wait of the day! But how was the ride? Well, unlike most, I'm not the world's biggest fan of gyroswings, and I do not remember particularly liking Cyclonator in 2021 (I seem to remember it making me feel a bit sick). However, I must admit that while still not a favourite of mine, it was not nearly as bad as I'd remembered. There was some better airtime than I'd previously remembered on there, and the spinning, while I'd still rather it wasn't there, was manageable. Gyroswings still aren't my favourite, and I would still take a non-spinning alternative like a Screamin' Swing any day of the week, but they are growing on me. The most notable aspect of this ride, however, is that the rain had started coming down harder, and this was possibly one of the wettest experiences I have ever had on a non-water ride! The rain was coming down hard enough that it felt like I was getting pierced in the face as we flew through the air; I could hardly keep my eyes open, I was getting gradually more soaked, and it was one of those experiences where you just can't help but laugh! Combine that with the fact that I'd been reunited with the aforementioned Year 6 school trip group from the morning's Ghostly Manor breakdown and they were doing their very loudest high-pitched screaming throughout the ride, and it made for quite an experience:

I followed my ride on Cyclonator up with two more back-to-back rerides on Storm Chaser. Both were in the back row, I had the entire train to myself once again, and both rides were really enjoyable, although had somewhat of the same waterboarding-style effect as the prior ride on Cyclonator!

After that, I took another ride on Cat-O-Pillar. I was on the front row this time, and I had the entire train to myself! The ride, as it was earlier, was a fun and quirky Zierer Tivoli, although I did notice a slightly irritating set of drive tires rumbling the train that I didn't notice the first time round. This was also another one where I was going around the ride and could not see anyone else within the vicinity!

After my ride on Cat-O-Pillar, I went for another go on Ghostly Manor. My score was slightly lower than last time, at 53,700, but the ride was once again fun; I do think interactive dark rides are pretty rerideable, particularly on a wet day like today was!

After my reride on Ghostly Manor, I had a brief break to eat lunch in an undercover seating area before heading for a reride on Storm Chaser. It was another back row ride, and it was once again good fun!

I then headed for a reride on Cobra. Similarly to earlier, it was fun, but definitely brought down a peg by those wild mouse-style turns for me.

After that, I headed for an attraction that had opened since my last foray to the Cobra end of the park...

The Edge

The Edge was absolutely deserted, so I decided to explore and see if it was open (I genuinely wasn't sure seeing as the ride was still and I was the only person I could immediately see in the area!). As it turned out, the ride was open, and another group swiftly joined me for a ride. So, how was The Edge? Well, I wasn't a huge fan of Thor at Drayton Manor last year, and this was, if anything, less enjoyable than that, for me. I'm not a big spinning flat ride person, and this did spin a fair amount, and I also do not like that motorbike riding position at all. I find the way it has you resting on your chest really unnatural, and this one was also strangely bumpy in a way that Thor wasn't, for some reason. Overall, then, I'm sorry to say that I wasn't a fan of The Edge; I'm glad I tried it, but I won't be rushing back on it again:

After my ride on The Edge, I went for another nearby flat ride that was a little more to my liking...

Magma

Magma had also opened up since my last trip to this end of the park, so I decided to give it a whirl. It goes without saying at this point that the ride was walk-on, and I took my seat promptly. As common as this was today, it is still a bonus when it happens! But how was Magma? Well, I'd remembered quite liking it in 2021, and I liked it once again; although it's not the most intense tower by any stretch, there are some fun, giggly tickles of airtime that I like! It did maybe feel a tad shorter and more timid than Windmill Towers across the park, but it was still fun overall:

After my ride on Magma, I had another go on Cobra while I was in the area, which was similarly fun to earlier.

I then had another back row ride on Flight of the Pterosaur. Once again, this was really good fun, with some great moments of speed and force for a family coaster!

This was swiftly followed by two back-to-back rides on Velociraptor. Both of these were in the front, and once again, they were good fun, with some nice speed in sections!

I then did another front row ride on Flight of the Pterosaur to jazz things up a bit (fun, but I do prefer the back) before heading for another Ghostly Manor reride. I was starting to get the hang of the shooting system by this point, and I managed a new high score of 57,100! The ride was once again really good fun; I think it's a cool addition to the park, and brilliant for rainier days like today!

After my reride on Ghostly Manor, I headed for something slightly more sedate...

Rio Grande Railway

Rio Grande Railway was quiet, so I headed to the queue and waited for the next train to arrive. But how was the ride? Well, as a sedate breather, I do quite like a train, and Rio Grande Railway was a nice one! It had some nice theming in the initial Tornado Springs part of the course before heading out into a very sedate portion near the woods and water mill and finishing up with a brief ride through Peppa Pig World. Overall, it was a nice, relaxing way to spend a few minutes, and a good way to take a breather between coasters:

After my ride on Rio Grande Railway, I had not one, not two, but three back-to-back rerides on Storm Chaser. I bagged a front row ride, a back row ride and a row 7 ride, and all of these were really good fun!

I then went for another ride on Windmill Towers. As with earlier, I very much enjoyed the ride, and loved some of the giggly tickles of airtime it provided!

After that, I went for two more fun back-to-back rerides on Storm Chaser. Both were in the back row, and one was another solo ride where I had the ride all to myself!

I then headed for a final reride on Ghostly Manor. It was fun once again, and this time, I managed my best score all day; I got 69,800 that time. I do think the point-scoring aspect makes shooting rides quite rerideable, and I was starting to get more of a knack for Ghostly Manor's shooting system by the end of the day!

After that, I had two fun back-to-back rerides on the back row of Flight of the Pterosaur, followed by two fun back-to-back rerides on Velociraptor. I then had one final fun front row reride on Flight of the Pterosaur and closed out the riding with a final front row ride on Storm Chaser. All of these were really enjoyable!

By this point, 5pm had arrived, so I bought a chocolate Magnum (or more accurately, Paultons' ripoff of a Magnum) and left the park, eating my Magnum while I waited for my taxi to Romsey station to arrive. My taxi to the station was once again prompt, and this time, I was driven by a very friendly and rather chatty man who asked me lots of questions about Wales (I explained that I'd travelled to Romsey from South Wales when he asked where I'd taken the train from)! He then talked a bit about Gaza, which is where I'll admit I just sort of nodded uncomfortably. I don't deny that the situation in Gaza needs to be talked about, but I'm not sure I want to talk about it in great depth with a random taxi driver I don't know. I must say, however, that the overall taxi service was excellent in both directions and worked brilliantly; the drivers were very friendly, and it was really easy to book via the app!

I then took the train back to Severn Tunnel Junction from Romsey, which unlike the one there was nice, quiet and uneventful for the whole length of the journey (apart from the fact that GWR's digital announcer was having a funny 5 minutes and thought we were in Ealing Broadway and on our way to Maidenhead...). I'll close out this report with a picture I took of the White Horse in Westbury (I'm not sure if this is its actual name, but that's what I've always called it...) from out of the train window. Seeing this brought back memories of many a family holiday to Center Parcs Longleat Forest when I was a child, where seeing this horse always meant that we were nearly there!:

So, that brings an end to my trip report from Paultons Park! I had an excellent day; yes, the weather was pretty dreadful for much of the day, but the ride count certainly made up for it! If you've lost track, I managed a grand total of 51 rides in the almost 7 hours I spent in Paultons Park. This is by far the most rides I have ever done in one theme park day, blowing my prior record of 31 to smithereens (I'd already beaten this figure by around 2:30pm, so it wasn't even close)! The composition of said ride count was as follows:

• Storm Chaser x15 (another record broken... this is the most rides I've ever managed on one individual attraction in a theme park day!)
• Flight of the Pterosaur x10
• Velociraptor x7
• Ghostly Manor x5
• Cobra x3
• Cat-O-Pillar x2
• Windmill Towers x2
• Dino Chase x1
• Dinosaur Tour Co x1
• Farmyard Flyer x1
• Cyclonator x1
• The Edge x1
• Magma x1
• Rio Grande Railway x1

I'm not sure I'll ever beat this... short of doing some sort of ERT, I'm not quite sure how I'd beat this! I'm not quite sure whether to be proud or appalled at having done 51 rides in just under 7 hours...

The park today was quite possibly in contention with Oakwood in May 2019 for the quietest theme park I've ever been in; there were numerous points where I was the only visible person in areas, and it was actually quite eerie! Areas like Tornado Springs got a little busier later on, but Lost Kingdom and the area by Cobra et al stayed a ghost town pretty much all day... it was almost surreal!

In terms of specific insights beyond ride count and crowd levels; it was great to get back to Paultons. It's a really pleasant park that's definitely on the up, they have some lovely themed areas and generally present things very well, and they do have some excellent family coasters. My personal favourite is probably Flight of the Pterosaur; that thing packs a punch for a family invert! Although Storm Chaser is also surprisingly punchy and really good fun, and follows close behind! Ghostly Manor is also a really cool addition; it's a really fun dark ride with a cool ride system and some really nice theming, and I think they're onto a winner with it! Valgard and the addition of Drakon should add an interesting additional dimension to the lineup, even if I do have my personal scepticism around the exact choice of a Gerstlauer Euro-Fighter, and I definitely look forward to coming back and checking it out in 2026 (with a new thrill coaster on the way, I'll 100% be back next year!). If I'm being honest, Paultons is not currently a park I'd be looking to return to annually in the way that Alton Towers and Thorpe Park are, as I don't think it offers the larger thrill rides I crave in the way that Towers and Thorpe do, but I'm interested to see if their move into thrills with Drakon might gradually start to change that for me. It's a bright future at Paultons!

Thanks for reading; I hope you've enjoyed this report! Forbidding any surprises, I think my next trip report will most likely be from Alton Towers in late July. I'm looking forward to another probable solo day at Alton when my dad heads to LIV Golf at JCB again like he did last year!

Hi guys. I haven’t been the most active on here lately, but I’ve been back on this evening, and I realise that I forgot to upload my trip report from a park visit I did a month ago. So hello again TPM, and apologies for the inactivity!

30th April was an exciting day; my first park visit of 2025 had arrived! And the park in question that started off my year this year was Blackpool Pleasure Beach, “the world’s most ride intensive amusement park” up in Lancashire! By virtue of the fact I live nearly 200 miles from Blackpool, it’s not a frequent visit for me, so it was an interesting park to start at! Prior to 30th April, I hadn’t been to the park in almost 6 years; to put things into some perspective, my last visit to Blackpool was when I had just finished my GCSEs (I’m now approaching the end of a postgraduate Master’s degree), was prior to the COVID pandemic, and perhaps most strikingly was when pre-revamp Valhalla was still open!

Having travelled up to Blackpool the previous day, I was staying in a Travelodge situated a matter of yards from the park entrance, so I had plenty of breathing room before park opening time. The park didn’t open until 11am, but as per usual when I stay in a hotel room, I peaked very, very early, having woken up before 7am and finished my breakfast before 8am! As such, I actually started my day with a leisurely stroll along Blackpool’s south promenade, taking in both views of the Pleasure Beach (mainly The Big One), as well as some of the interesting art installations along the promenade. I strolled along because the previous day, I noticed an odd light up glittery ball thing further down the seafront, and I wanted to see what it was. Even having strolled down and Googled it after getting home, I’m still somewhat none the wiser… I know this is Thorpe Park Mania and not Art Mania, but I still thought it was interesting nonetheless:

After my promenade stroll, I made my way toward the Blackpool Pleasure Beach park entrance and awaited opening time. With only 2 men (who appeared to be regulars based on the fact that they appeared to be chatting to all the staff like old friends) in front of me, I made very good time in entering the park, being only the 3rd person to enter:

After entering the park, I initially made my way over to Nickelodeon Streak, but I discovered that it was closed all day, so I instead started my day over on…

Avalanche

Avalanche looked absolutely deserted, so I decided to start my day on there. When I walked up to the station, I saw that I was indeed the only guest in the vicinity, so I ended up being on the first train of the day and having a solo ride to boot! So, how was my first coaster ride of 2025? Well, I was seated on the front row, and I have to say that I thought it was great fun! There’s something I quite like about these bobsled coasters, and I find Avalanche to be really quite a good one. It picks up great speed and flows really nicely throughout, and some of those lower corners pack surprising whip! I almost thought I was feeling slight airtime in some of those corner transitions towards the bottom! Overall, then, I found Avalanche thoroughly enjoyable, and a great way to start the day and indeed the season:

After my ride on Avalanche, I decided to head to another coaster right next to it…

Revolution

Revolution was also absolutely deserted, so I decided to climb up the stairs and give it a ride. As with Avalanche beforehand, I was seemingly the first rider of the day on here and had a solo ride; you can’t beat having two solo first rides of the day in a row! But how was the ride? Well, it was good and I enjoyed it! For something that’s quite short and not overly fast, Revolution packs a punch! The airtime coming off the drops is surprisingly fierce, and the loop itself is forceful! I’ll admit I’m not sure whether I overly like the backward loop on there (it goes to my head a little), but the thrilling forward loop and the forceful pops of ejector certainly made it a fun ride, in my view, and it’s not overly rough or uncomfortable for an older Arrow, either! All in all, then, I thought Revolution was quite good fun, and definitely a ride I enjoyed:

After Revolution, I decided to head for another nearby coaster…

The Big One

The Big One had a trivial wait, so I decided to give it a whirl. Unfortunately, my streak of solo rides had come to an end, but I still only waited a train or two for my ride on The Big One, so I can’t really complain too much! So, how was The Big One? Well, I was seated in row 8, and I have to say that it wasn’t running badly at all! I’ve never historically been a huge fan of The Big One, but it has grown on me somewhat over the years since I’ve first ridden it. While there are much better hyper coasters out there, I have to admit that rushing down that first drop into the first triangle is still a very impressive sequence, packing an awesome sense of speed as the wind rushes into your face! There’s also something I find quite charming about the ride’s sprawling layout that winds its way all around the park, even if it does completely lack airtime (seriously, there’s not an ounce!) or any notable forces for the most part aside from the first drop. I’ll admit that it is a bit rough in places, which detracts a bit from it for me, but this ride wasn’t absolutely terrible by any means; it was still perfectly rideable and fun. Overall, my first ride on The Big One was quite enjoyable and it was running reasonably well, even if I’d prefer it a bit smoother and admit it’s my least favourite coaster above 200ft by some margin:

After my ride on The Big One, I decided to head for something a bit more… iconic, and a previous favourite of mine…

Icon

Like The Big One, Icon had a nominal wait, so I decided to give it a go. With the ride being operated pretty well on 2 trains, I was on very quickly; you can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, I have to admit that Icon was the coaster at Blackpool that I was most excited, but in equal measure most nervous, about re-riding. When I last came to the park in 2019, I absolutely loved Icon; the ride was right up there in my #2 spot, and my favourite coaster in the UK by some margin. But given that it seems to have evolved into a ride that a lot of people are apathetic towards at best now that the new ride hype has worn off somewhat, I wondered if my love of the ride on previous visits was simply because A) it was brand new and I hadn’t really done much else like it (I had done nothing that inverts with lap bars, I hadn’t done that many coasters with notable airtime, and my only other multi launch coaster at the time I first rode it was Cheetah Hunt). Since my last ride, my coaster count has nearly doubled, and I’ve been on the likes of VelociCoaster, Red Force and the original Mack mega coaster Blue Fire, to name just a few “Icon-adjacent” rides I’ve ridden. With that being said, I must admit that my front row ride was every bit as good as I’d previously remembered, if not better! Each to their own, of course, but I personally still remain confused as to why people widely don’t particularly like Icon, and I remain a somewhat outspoken lover of it! I grant you, the ride is not the most mind-blowingly intense in the world, but I just find it so much fun, and it strikes the perfect balance of fun, thrills and rerideability for me! There are some really awesome bits of airtime on there; the top hat really shines through, but I also love the two twisty pops and dives before the second launch, the Immelmann, and a particularly fun drop midway through the second half, to name just a few! I also think the ride packs a nice sense of speed, and the twisty layout mostly keeps things interesting. I ride it feeling like I’m twisting and floating all over the place, and I find it absolutely joyous! It’s also really smooth and rerideable, and overall, I still absolutely adore the thing! It’s not in my #2 spot anymore (VelociCoaster it is not!), and I would say that the ride is not even quite my UK favourite anymore, with Hyperia having taken that particular accolade last year, but even still, I love Icon and will continue to happily defend it against its many critics:

After getting off Icon, I liked the ride so much that I immediately headed back round for a second go while it was on a short queue. I was seated in row 4 that time, and it was phenomenal once again!

After my second ride on Icon, I headed over to another coaster that I hadn’t ridden yet…

Big Dipper

Big Dipper had slightly more of a queue than the other coasters I’d ridden thus far, but I hadn’t ridden it yet at this point, so I decided to take a spin on there. The ride was only running one train, meaning that the dispatch interval was a sluggish 6 minutes and the not overly long-looking queue took 15-20 minutes, but given that the park had been open for less than an hour at this point and I was already queueing for my 6th ride, I didn’t think I could really complain too much! So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the back row… and I think I needed a new spine afterwards! There were some fun bits of airtime, but the ride was probably the roughest I’ve ever known it, and it literally felt as though it was trying to bash me to hell in every single valley! It wasn’t quite as bad as I remember Grand National being on my last go in 2019, but it wasn’t that far off… ouch! Overall, then, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Big Dipper; I get that it’s an old ride, I’m glad it’s still running, and it does have some fun bits of airtime, but my ride was pretty rough and once was enough for me:

After Big Dipper, I decided, perhaps against my better judgement, to reacquaint myself with a previously disliked coaster from my first visit…

Infusion

While Infusion was one of my least favourite coasters of all time based on my memory from my first Pleasure Beach visit in 2018, it had a near walk on queue, and I figured that 2018 was 7 years ago and I should give it another chance. Like how my mum tries sausages every so often to confirm whether she still doesn’t like them, I decided to give Infusion another whirl after many years away from it. As mentioned, the queue was short, so I wasn’t wasting much time by riding it even if I hated it again. So, how was it? Well, having ridden more coasters has not improved it, I’m afraid… I was seated in row 7, and it remains absolutely abysmal! While the base SLC layout is good and the ride looks the part, the head banging was absolutely relentless, and my shoulders and ears felt absolutely wrecked by the end! It also didn’t help matters that the passenger sat next to me was repeatedly yelling the phrase “OZZY’S A PAEDO!” in the loudest possible voice as we were negotiating the layout… all in all, then, Infusion remains vile, and one of my least favourite coasters. I find it almost impressive that in a park with so many old woodies and Arrows, the second newest coaster is quite possibly its roughest and least pleasant:

After Infusion, I decided to take a break from the coasters and go for something slightly more relaxing…

Wallace and Gromit’s Thrill-O-Matic

Wallace and Gromit was on a very short queue, so I decided to give it a go. As with many of the rides so far, I practically walked on, which I can never complain about! But how was the ride? Well, I like the Wallace and Gromit films, and I have to say that I found the ride really fun and charming! There are some great scenes and animatronics in here, and all in all, I think it’s just a really charming dark ride that puts a smile on your face! I definitely enjoyed my lap on Wallace and Gromit, for sure:

After my ride on Wallace and Gromit, I headed back over to Icon for another lap. I was seated in row 6 this time, and it was phenomenal once again!:

After my reride on Icon, I headed for another reride on The Big One. I was seated in row 7 this time, and while the ride was maybe a tad rougher than earlier on in places, it was still running pretty well and was still enjoyable. Even if The Big One is not the strongest hyper I’ve ridden by a long shot, there’s still something I find inherently likeable about a 200ft+ coaster:

After my reride on The Big One, I headed for two further rerides on Icon. One was in row 6 and one was in the very back row, and both were wonderful once again!

After that, I headed for a Burger King lunch before I decided to try the final operating non-kiddie coaster that I hadn’t yet ridden…

Steeplechase

I hadn’t yet ridden Steeplechase, and having only done one of the sides in 2018, I still had 2 more of the sides to add to my count, so I decided to take a ride. I ultimately waited around 15 minutes for Steeplechase, which I didn’t think was too bad. But how was the ride? Well, I got the left hand side on this occasion, so I gained an additional +1… but I’m afraid I didn’t rate the ride at all and found it pretty vile. It’s not particularly intense or thrilling, but it is extremely uncomfortable; it felt like the predominant thing the ride did was trying to impale my hips with its seat barriers and have Heimlich manoeuvre style braking! I hate to say it, as the ride is unique and the racing element is quite fun, but I really didn’t enjoy Steeplechase and have to admit that it may well rival Infusion as my least favourite coaster in the park, placing it in strong contention for the title of my least favourite coaster of all time. Still, I guess I got a +1 out of it, which is always good:

After my ride on Steeplechase, I took a reride on Revolution, which had only a one train wait or so. I was seated in row 7 this time, and as with earlier, I found it pretty enjoyable; with the great airtime and great forces through the loop, it really does pack a surprising punch!:

I then went for a reride on Avalanche. The queue looked quite short, but ultimately took 30 minutes due to the ride only running one train. I was seated in row 5 this time, and as with earlier, it was really good fun and packed surprising speed and force:

After my reride on Avalanche, I headed north to do something a little bit different that I’d never done before…

Ghost Train

Ghost Train was on a pretty much walk-on queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. With this only being my 3rd ever visit to Blackpool Pleasure Beach, there are still quite a few filler attractions I’ve never ridden, and prior to this visit, Ghost Train was one of them! So, how did I like my first ride on this vintage classic? Well, I have to say that it was quite charming! There were some well placed jumpscares and some cool effects (including a working Trommel tunnel!), and I overall thought it was a really nice classic dark ride! They do have somewhat of a penchant for loud siren/klaxon noises on there, though, don’t they?:

After Ghost Train, I had not one, not two, but three back-to-back rides on Icon on a short queue! I was seated in row 5, row 8 and row 7, and all three were once again wonderful; if anything, the ride only got better as the day went on!

I then had another reride on The Big One. I was seated in row 12 this time, and it was once again running reasonably well, albeit a little rough in places. The ride has definitely grown on me since I first rode it!

I then had two wonderful back-to-back rerides on Icon, in rows 6 and 8 respectively, before heading to do another classic dark ride I’d never ridden before…

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland was pretty much walk-on, so I decided to give it a whirl. As with Ghost Train earlier, Alice in Wonderland was a vintage filler ride that I’d never previously done, so I was interested to give it a try. But how was it? Well, I have to say I found the ride really charming and quirky! I don’t know if it’s the animation style, but I found the theming in Alice to almost have a sort of “cartoony acid trip” type feel to it, which was quite charming and probably fits the Alice in Wonderland franchise quite well! On a side note, I also think the Mad Hatter bench outside with the date that changes is quite a nice touch! All in all, then, I found Alice another fun, charming vintage dark ride; it’s vintage rides like this that make Blackpool special:

After Alice, I decided to try another vintage filler ride that I’d never done before…

Flying Machines

Flying Machines had a pretty much walk on queue, so I decided to take a spin on there. With the Flying Machines being the oldest operating ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach (if I’m not mistaken?), I thought they’d be a cool one to try, and once again, they were a vintage filler attraction that I hadn’t ridden prior to this visit. So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that I thought Flying Machines was yet another very charming piece of vintage in Blackpool’s arsenal! I’m not a huge lover of spinning flat rides, but I found the Flying Machines to spin gently enough that I still found the ride enjoyable, and with the ride being relatively sedate, it was nice to sit back and take in some views of the park! Overall, then, I definitely enjoyed the Flying Machines, and I find it so impressive that the ride has lasted since the early 20th century:

After I got off the Flying Machines, I headed back over to Icon for one final ride. I was seated in row 6, and it was a wonderful way to end my many Icon rides over the course of the day, with the ride having warmed up very nicely!

After that, I headed to deposit most of my belongings into a locker to prepare for my final ride of the day…

Valhalla

With Valhalla being phenomenally wet from my prior experience on it in 2019, I decided to save it until the end of the day so that I could make a quick exit to my hotel to change afterwards. With my waterproof phone bag at the ready, I entered the queue, which thankfully didn’t take very long. It was certainly far shorter than the 2 hours I waited for it in 2019! I was seated next to a very friendly Northern man who tried to take his top off, but was swiftly reprimanded by the operators… nobody’s clothes are safe from Valhalla, it seems! So, how did I find Valhalla? Well… Valhalla is a complicated one for me to review. I really, really want to like it; there are some incredibly impressive effects in there, with the blasts of fire at the end being particularly breathtaking, and I really like a lot of what they’ve done with the revamp. I thought the narrative element with the voices enhanced it, I liked the new music and some of the new effects, and all in all, the whole thing seemed notably more polished immersively speaking than it did in 2019. It has a lot going for it! But as you can probably tell from the fact I said “I really want to like it”, there is a big “but” coming… and that is that I personally find it far, far too wet. I always get the feeling that the ride was designed by a water-crazed sadist, and the sheer wetness makes it harder to enjoy for me. The unpleasant pool of stagnant water at the bottom of the boat remains, and today had a plastic spoon floating in it amongst other residue, and the whole thing just feels like taking the Ice Bucket Challenge repeatedly (does anyone remember that?). For all its great aspects, I’m sorry to say that I’d struggle to think of a more sadistic theme park attraction than Valhalla; the sustained wetness is pretty overbearing for me, personally. With that said, I do think they did a good job on the revamp, so that is something I will applaud them for; I very much liked the enhancements they’ve made:

After my ride on Valhalla, it was past the park closing time, so I retrieved my belongings from the locker and bade Blackpool Pleasure Beach goodbye for the day, heading to my hotel to change before heading to the Velvet Coaster for an evening meal:

So overall, then, I had an absolutely excellent day at Blackpool Pleasure Beach! The weather was gorgeous, and if you’ve lost track, I got on 26 rides in total, which were as follows:

• Icon x11
• The Big One x3
• Avalanche x2
• Revolution x2
• Big Dipper x1
• Infusion x1
• Wallace and Gromit x1
• Steeplechase x1
• Ghost Train x1
• Alice in Wonderland x1
• Flying Machines x1
• Valhalla x1

It’s not quite a personal best, but I was still very pleased with that!

It was great to get back to Blackpool and get back on some favourites, particularly Icon! That ride definitely remains one of my favourite coasters in the UK and a top-tier ride for me, despite so many years having passed and so many new rides having been ridden since I last did it!

I do think Blackpool Pleasure Beach is a really nice park that I wish I could get to more often. One thing I find really cool about it is how you can be on a modern coaster like Icon one minute, and a ride from the early 1900s like the Flying Machines or Big Dipper the next. I also love how so many rides are rammed into such a tight space! It makes for some awesome visuals, and it is also a considerable aid in doing what I was able to accomplish today; you aren’t riding 6 rides in the first hour at Alton Towers even if the place is deserted!

But overall, I had a brilliant day; I hope it isn’t 6 years until I next return to Blackpool!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! I’ve managed to cram in a cheeky day trip before my MSc dissertation period formally begins on 17th June, so my next theme park trip will be a trip to Paultons Park this Thursday! I can’t wait to check out Ghostly Manor for the first time (and I will aim to upload the trip report to TPM on the day this time)!

PortAventura: An Overall Review and Trip Summary

Right, then; I’ve now landed back in the UK, done all of my post-trip spreadsheet stuff, and just about recovered from the journey home! Spending 4 hours waiting in Barcelona Airport and arriving back in Bristol Airport at 1am to temperatures of 6 degrees when used to (and dressed for) the beautiful climate of Salou was certainly a rude awakening from that trip bubble, but the journey mostly went well, and now I’m back, I’m in the mood to write a bit of a trip summary and do a slightly more comprehensive review of PortAventura overall through my first timer’s lens.

Before going to PortAventura, I was excited, but I’ll profess to having slightly more bated breath than when I went to Europa Park, the last major new European theme park I visited, for the first time. Over the years, I’ve read all kinds of diatribes and horror stories about PortAventura, saying about how dreadful the operations are, how dreadful the Express overuse is, how dreadful the food is, how dreadful the hotels are, how dreadful the queue jumping is… despite PortAventura’s widely accepted status as a major European theme park resort, I’ve heard all kinds of dire reports from it over the years. Hearing these reports which are at best extremely mixed did make me quite hesitant about the sort of experience we might have at PortAventura.

But having now visited, did I mirror these reports in being similarly disappointed with PortAventura? I have to say; no, I didn’t. I absolutely loved PortAventura and would definitely rank it as one of my top European theme parks! It had big shoes to fill after the splendour of Europa Park in 2022, but it did not disappoint for me, and I had an immensely pleasurable visit to the park and resort! With some of these reports I had gone in having heard, I would definitely say that the overall product at PortAventura exceeded my expectations.

Let me start by discussing the rides and attractions on offer at PortAventura World…

Rides and Attractions

Firstly, you have your roller coasters. I like to call myself a theme park enthusiast, but in reality, I do have a definite slight bias towards coasters over other varieties of attraction. PortAventura has a good coaster selection, but I will say that if talking about coasters alone, I have been to stronger places coasters-wise than PortAventura, particularly if excluding Red Force from the equation and only counting what’s in the main PortAventura Park. I would probably put Alton Towers and Thorpe Park higher overall for coasters, as well as a pre-Voltron Europa Park. If I’m being very picky, I do maybe think that the main park could do with another modern headline thrill coaster to complement Shambhala.

With that being said, the resort is still no slouch in this regard; Shambhala is an absolutely stunning top coaster for the resort for me, Red Force is also absolutely superb, and Uncharted, while somewhat sub-par in terms of on-ride theming, also stood out to me as an excellently fun family thrill coaster that I thoroughly enjoyed. There’s also quite a wide variety of other types of coaster in PortAventura Park that I enjoyed, and there is certainly plenty to satisfy a coaster fan, in my view. At very least, plenty of rerides on Shambhala should do the trick!

Some of the main surprises of PortAventura for me, however, came in the form of its non-coaster attractions. Some of the ones I did were really pleasant surprises! For example, Street Mission was an absolutely fantastic dark ride, with awesome fusion between screens and physical sets, lots of excellent theming and an overall incredibly fun and well executed experience! Grand Canyon Rapids, despite being quite an unassuming rapids ride at first glance, was also an excellent example of the genre, with some really good waves, a generally fast pace, great theming and some fun water effects! Templo del Fuego, while not being entirely my sort of thing, was also quite entertaining, with some excellent special effects on show! While not quite on the level of Europa Park in terms of sheer amount of attractions, I think PortAventura does offer some decent non-coasters, a nice variety of things to do, and at least one very decent attraction in most genres.

Let me now talk about what I feel is one of the strongest aspects of PortAventura…

Theming/Atmosphere

I am personally a big fan of parks where thrills and theming exist in unison, and PortAventura most certainly ticks this box! As much as the resort has some great coasters and rides, I think that theming is one of the things it does best. PortAventura Park, visually speaking, is absolutely stunning. The whole place is intricately themed and packed full of details; these themed areas are stunning! Far West is gorgeous, Polynesia is lovely, Mexico is lovely, China is wonderful, Meditarranea is gorgeous… I don’t think there’s one themed area in PortAventura Park that is anything less than gorgeously themed and lavishly packed with detail! Ferrari Land is also very nicely themed, with those Italian streets being lovely!

The resort is a feast for the eyes visually, and I think this contributes to it being an incredibly nice park to walk around and just exist in. It has a very nice atmosphere, and I think that it’s just very pleasant to walk around and not stressful to be in. It’s a park where I think you could be quite satisfied by just walking around or sitting taking in the sights and sounds!

Another point I’d raise is that I think new additions to the park have been integrated incredibly seamlessly and stayed very in-keeping with the original design. Sometimes, new additions can contrast a bit with what was there before and look a bit jarring, but I think PortAventura does an excellent job of maintaining consistent area visions. For example, Shambhala integrates seamlessly with the rest of China, and Uncharted integrates seamlessly with the rest of Far West.

In my opinion, theming is one of the areas where PortAventura shines brightest, and in this sense, I think it is every bit as nice as Europa Park is.

Let me now briefly discuss the on-site hotel and my experience there…

Hotel

We stayed on site at PortAventura in Hotel Gold River, in one of the Superior Callaghan Rooms. I’d heard incredibly mixed reviews of the hotels at PortAventura, but I have to say that personally, I could not fault the hotel at all and would say that it’s as nice as any theme park hotel I’ve stayed in. As with the theme parks, Hotel Gold River is a gorgeously themed complex packed with detail. There is so much to look at and so many details to see! The room was also very nice (arguably nicer than the room we stayed in at Hotel Castillo Alcazar at Europa Park, although that may be helped by us having upgraded to the slightly more expensive Callaghan room), and it was absolutely spotless and cleaned every day. We also thought that the food was absolutely excellent; breakfast was lovely, and the evening buffet was very nice, with a different offering every day! It also had a very nice atmosphere; sitting in the central courtyard section with some drinks was a very nice way to spend an evening!

Overall, then, I would definitely stay on site again, and I think it offers excellent value for money! For 3 adults for 3 nights with park tickets (unlimited entry to the main park and 1 entry to Ferrari Land), half board, shared transfers and flights, the entire holiday booking through PortAventura cost around £1,280, and I think that the experience offered is absolutely excellent when considering that price!

Let me now discuss that good old chestnut that seems to get on everyone’s mind when discussing PortAventura…

Operations/Express Pass

When discussing PortAventura, people typically moan about the operations and Express Pass.

In terms of ride operations/throughputs; I will not pretend that the operations are fast, or that they rival Europa Park in any way, shape or form… but I was expecting worse. I did not think that PortAventura’s operations were that dreadful at all given common discourse, personally, and based on my personal experience, I think their notoriously rock bottom reputation is not entirely deserved. Shambhala was typically running 2 trains and attaining around 800pph. Dragon Khan was typically running 2 trains and attaining 700-800pph. Stampida was running 2 trains per side and getting a combined 1,200-1,300pph. El Diablo was running 2 trains and getting around 1,000pph. Furius Baco was running 2 trains and getting around 600-700pph when I timed; I’ve seen Rita at Alton Towers do worse than that! The water rides were also sending boats at a decent rate. Single rider queues worked effectively where present, and the batchers were mostly good at filling empty seats. They are not lightning fast operations, and there is certainly room for improvement, but I’ve seen worse.

One possible exception to this is Hurakan Condor; they only appeared to be running 2 towers out of 5, and I didn’t ride it because both times I tried to, the queue pretty much didn’t move.

In terms of Express; despite common reports, I’ve seen far, far worse allocation to non-main queue riders elsewhere. Express exists, but I did not think that usage or allocation appeared to be excessive on any ride I saw, or out of the ordinary compared to other parks I’ve visited. This was hardly, say, Oakwood, where I saw with my own eyes whole trains of Fastrack being loaded and queues hardly moving. I’d even argue that the number of non-main queue riders was possibly lower than at some of the UK Merlin parks; I’d argue that at times, the Fastrack/RAP combo at the likes of Alton Towers slows down queues more than Express appeared to at PortAventura during my visit. We did not buy Express once during our visit, and we got on fine in terms of rides; in the first day alone, I rode every coaster in PortAventura Park apart from Tami-Tami, including both sides of Stampida, I rerode Shambhala twice more after the first ride, and I also rode Tutuki Splash and Grand Canyon Rapids.

I admit that I went in September, and as I’ve only been once, I can hardly declare myself the authority on the subject; I understand these things may differ a lot. With that being said, a public holiday, which was listed as a “very high” influx on the PortAventura website, fell during my visit, and even on that day, I did not think queues were overly excessive and I got on plenty of rides without Express. Based on my experience, I did not feel that Express was essential and I did not feel that the operations were bad enough to warrant their rock bottom reputation.

So in summary, I have to say that I absolutely loved PortAventura and would definitely put it up there as one of my favourite European theme parks! The rides are great, the theming is spectacular, the on-site hotel was excellent, and I did not feel that the operations were as bad as their rock bottom reputation would suggest.

Let me end by plonking in a few summarising stats from my trip:

• Coaster count before the trip: 124
• Coaster count after the trip: 134
• New coasters ridden: 10
• Number of coaster rides: 24
• Number of overall rides: 29
• Favourite coaster ridden: Shambhala (#1/134)
• Favourite non-coaster ridden: Street Mission
• Biggest positive surprise: Street Mission

So, that ends out my first ever trip to PortAventura World in Spain! Thank you for following this series of trip reports; I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed this trip!

12th September 2024: PortAventura Park Day 3

It was our final day in PortAventura Park today before heading home! We weren’t really able to have a full day today, as we had to be out of the park by 3:30pm to catch our shared transfer back to Barcelona Airport to fly home, but we nonetheless headed back into the park to mop up some more goes on some of the best attractions!

I headed into the park early on my own this morning, with my mum and dad joining me later. I headed down to the Hotel Gold River entrance at around 9:50am, and entered the park a bit before the 10:30am opening time:

Upon entering the park, I decided to repeat my winning strategy from yesterday and head to China first. Resultantly, I started my day on…

Shambhala

Shambhala had a very short pre-queue, so I decided to start my day on there. I was in the queue early enough to be batched onto the very first train of the day… but unfortunately, wind (well, “adverse meteorological conditions” as per the tannoy announcement) meant that the ride didn’t open until 20 minutes after park opening. Curiously, they had to take off a train and run the ride on 1 train for it to be able to open in the wind; I’ve never seen this on a coaster before. Whether it’s a case similar to The Big One where the ride supposedly has slow and fast trains for different weather conditions, I don’t know, but to be fair, it was windy enough that I can believe it might have caused a 250ft coaster to experience difficulties with operating. Anyhow, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the back car, and it was absolutely sublime; it was possibly in contention for the best Shambhala ride yet! The airtime was strong and phenomenally sustained, the ride was so fast (and felt faster than usual in the windy conditions), and overall, it was every bit as sublime as I’ve come to expect from Shambhala! That ride was a wonderful way to kick off the day:

After Shambhala, I then decided to head onto the other coaster in the area…

Dragon Khan

Dragon Khan was on an advertised 30 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. Like Shambhala, Dragon Khan had been forced to drop down to 1 train to operate in the windy conditions, so capacity was reduced, but the queue still took only 35 minutes nonetheless, which I didn’t think was too bad, personally. But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in an outer seat on the very front row, and it was similar to previous rides; it was a bit rough in places, but overall not too bad, and the ride had a decent layout with good forces, good pacing and decent inversions:

After I got off Dragon Khan, my mum and dad had entered the park, so I met up with them in the square in China before we headed to an attraction we hadn’t yet done…

Templo del Fuego

Templo del Fuego was on an advertised 20 minute queue time and we hadn’t yet done it, so we decided to give it a go. I’ve often heard that this attraction doesn’t open very often, and I’ve also heard that it’s very good, so I was intrigued to try it out. The queue ultimately only took around 5 minutes, and we were inside the attraction promptly. So, how was it? Well, this style of actor-led attraction isn’t entirely my sort of thing, but I have to concede that it was rather entertaining! Even though I didn’t understand too much of the speech, as it was in Spanish, the actor did a good job of entertaining the crowds, the premise was quite clear even without knowing too much of the script, and the special effects were spectacular! There were also some surprises that I wasn’t expecting… overall, Templo del Fuego was quite an entertaining detour for a few minutes, and I’m glad I got to do it:

After Templo del Fuego, we started to gradually work our way around to Meditarranea, firstly stopping off at…

El Diablo

El Diablo was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. As advertised, the queue took 10 minutes; you can never complain about that! So, how was the ride? Well similarly to yesterday, it was a fun mine train coaster with some fun helixes and good bits of speed, and it also felt a bit smoother than yesterday:

After El Diablo, we decided to head over to Street Mission, which was advertising a 10 minute queue, for another ride after enjoying it yesterday. However, it unfortunately broke down while we were in the queue for it, so after 10 minutes or so with no action, we eventually bailed:

We then decided to head down to Meditarranea for lunch, after which my parents took the train from Meditarranea to Far West to leave the park. Being left to my own devices for a little longer, I initially decided to check out Hurakan Condor, as I hadn’t ridden it yet, I’m a fan of a good drop tower, and it was on a 30 minute advertised queue time. However, as with yesterday, it unfortunately was a pretty much static queue; I stuck it out for 10 minutes or so, but I left after it didn’t move. This proved a sound decision, as the advertised queue time had shot up to 1h 30m by the time I left:

I then decided to head to China and scope out Shambhala for a reride, but it was unfortunately closed for a weather delay (it was still pretty windy at this point). As Dragon Khan was still on 1 train at this point due to the weather and had an eye-watering 2.5 hour advertised queue time, I decided to veto a reride on that too. However, a favourite from earlier in the trip that I had yet to reride was on an unusually low queue, so I decided to head to…

Uncharted: El Enigma de Penitence

Uncharted was advertising a 40 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. This was the first occasion where I’d seen it on an advertised queue time of much below an hour, so as I’d found Uncharted an excellent coaster earlier in the week, I decided to take full advantage of this! The queue time was in fact overstated; the queue only took 30 minutes, and moved fairly decently. You can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, my thoughts were very similar to what they were on the first ride. The coaster hardware itself is excellent, with the launches, fun twists and turns and various tricks making for another excellent example of an Intamin family thrill coaster, but the on-ride theming leaves much to be desired for a ride of this style, with the ride largely taking place in a pitch black warehouse and the screen scenes being really rather poor in terms of theming. I find the on-ride theming (or lack of) on Uncharted baffling, as the queue is gorgeous and Street Mission across the park shows that PortAventura clearly has strong dark ride prowess and can make absolutely superb immersive attractions. Nevertheless, the coaster itself was still excellent and put a smile on my face, and as much as I can nitpick, that is the most important thing after all:

After getting off, I pondered another ride on Uncharted, but it was getting closer to 3:30pm and reriding Uncharted at the queue time it was at would have been cutting it a bit too fine to get back to the hotel for 3:30pm. I scoped out other attractions, but a lot of things either had a queue too long to get back in time for 3:30pm, would have taken too much walking from my current location in the park to get back in time or both. As such, I decided to call it a day there, bid PortAventura Park goodbye for the last time and head back to the hotel to meet my parents and get our transfer to the airport:

So, that wraps up my final day at PortAventura Park! Today was definitely a weaker day than others on the trip, but PortAventura can’t help the weather. It really was very windy; if we had been in Florida, it felt like a very “there’s a thunderstorm coming imminently” sort of wind, and seeing as I saw Alton Towers practically grind entirely to a halt in similar, if not weaker, wind back in March, I don’t think PortAventura dealt with the circumstances badly at all. We also never went into today under the pretence of it being a full park day; we always knew we had to be out before 3:30pm to catch our transfer, so we were pleased with anything we got, realistically. Given I was only in the park for around 4.5 hours, I’ve done far worse than 5 attractions in that sort of timeframe before!

That isn’t just the end of the day, but also the end of the trip. I’ll write a longer summary post when I’m back in the UK, but in short; I’ve had an absolutely fantastic trip! I loved PortAventura World, and it’s definitely right up there as one of the strongest theme park resorts I’ve visited in Europe for me!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report, as well as the wider series of reports from the rest of the trip! I’ll post a longer review of PortAventura as a whole when I’m back in the UK, but trip reports-wise, I think that’s probably it from me for theme park trips this year. It’s been a terrific year, and PortAventura was an excellent way to end it!

11th September 2024: PortAventura Park Day 2 and Ferrari Land

We had our second day today! Today, we headed back into PortAventura Park for another day of fun, and also headed into Ferrari Land to get on Red Force for the first time!

Similarly to yesterday, we entered via the Gold River hotel entrance at a bit before 10am. It looked a little busier here today, and I did have some trepidation about whether it could be busy due to it apparently being a public holiday in Catalonia today, but we decided to initially try the park without Express once again and see how it went:

We decided to tackle the park in a slightly different manner today, starting in China to knock off Shambhala and Dragon Khan early. As much as doing Uncharted first yesterday got us on the ride with a short wait compared to anything we saw at other points in the trip, we did note that as per the app, we ended up missing half an hour of Shambhala and Dragon Khan being incredibly quiet, so we thought that we should take advantage of that today…

Shambhala

Shambhala only had a very short pre-queue, so we decided to ride that first. This proved a good decision, as we only waited around 5 minutes for it; you can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the front part of the very back car, and it was sublime once again; you really feel the pull over the first drop and the hills in the back, the airtime is sublime, the speed is sublime, and everything about it is just wonderful! You’ve undoubtably heard me rhapsodise about Shambhala enough by now, so I’ll end my take there:

After our ride on Shambhala, me and my mum headed to the other Chinese coaster…

Dragon Khan

Dragon Khan was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so we decided to give it a go. This queue was if anything overstated, as we only waited 5 minutes for it; I would never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in an outer seat on row 2, and similarly to yesterday, it was not a bad ride at all! It was maybe fractionally rougher than it was yesterday, but still nothing too bad overall, and the layout is excellent on there, with some brilliant inversions and great forces! My mum was not a massive fan, although that perhaps isn’t overly surprising given that she also doesn’t like things like Nemesis and Kraken:

After Dragon Khan, I went in the single rider queue for another reride on Shambhala. I waited 40 minutes (exactly the same as the advertised queue time) and got dead centre in the train that time, but it was still sublime, and I noticed that you got stronger force going up into the hills sitting a bit further towards the front!

I then met back up with my mum and dad, and we headed into SesamoAventura, an area we only briefly walked through yesterday, and did something a little more unique to our trip…

Sesame Street: Street Mission

Street Mission was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so we decided to take a ride on there. The queue time board was true to its word, as we waited exactly 20 minutes; it’s always quite satisfying when these things are bang on the nose! So, how was the ride? Well, I went in with somewhat low expectations and was unsure of what to expect other than that it was an interactive dark ride themed to Sesame Street… but this possibly ended up being the biggest positive surprise of the trip so far! Street Mission was an absolutely fantastic dark ride! The 3D technology worked very well and the screens were excellent, but there was also an abundance of physical theming that was blended in seamlessly with the screens, the simulator section at the end was excellent, and overall, it was just such a fun and well executed dark ride! Overall, we all thoroughly enjoyed Street Mission, and I’d go out on a limb and say that it’s my favourite interactive dark ride I’ve done (yes, I would even say that it beats out Men in Black at Universal); it was fantastic, and such a positive surprise! We’ve even talked about possibly doing it again tomorrow:

After Street Mission, we further explored SesamoAventura, and as it was on a short queue, me and my mum did another ride to get the clean sweep of PortAventura Park’s coasters…

Tami Tami

Now as I don’t generally ride kiddie coasters, I was not originally expecting to do Tami Tami, but it was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, and it honestly didn’t look too embarrassing in person (it looked big enough to possibly qualify as a “family coaster” rather than a kiddie coaster), so me and my mum went to give it a go. The 10 minute advertised queue time was if anything overstated, with the queue taking more like 5 minutes, and we were on the ride within only a train or two’s wait. But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the back row, and for a smaller coaster, it actually wasn’t half bad, with some good bits of speed! These coasters are what they are, but some of the turns were surprisingly good fun for a smaller coaster! Overall, then, Tami Tami wasn’t a bad kiddie/family coaster at all, and better than we were expecting; it did feel good to get the clean sweep of PortAventura Park’s coasters:

After Tami Tami, we headed over to Mexico to do an attraction me and my dad had already done yesterday…

El Diablo

El Diablo was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so as my mum hadn’t done it and me and my dad thought that she might like it, we decided to take a ride on there. The queue moved quite quickly, with the ride attaining a decent throughput of around 1,000pph or slightly under, and we were on within 15 minutes. But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the front row, and similarly to yesterday, it was quite a fun mine train coaster with some fun bits of speed, albeit it was perhaps a tad jerkier than it seemed yesterday:

After El Diablo, we went for some lunch before my mum and dad left me to my own devices in the park for a bit before we entered Ferrari Land in the evening. As we’d eaten lunch in Meditarranea and it was on a relatively short queue, I decided to take a ride on…

Furius Baco

Furius Baco was on an advertised main queue time of 30 minutes, but as the single rider queue looked better than it had yesterday, I decided to chance that today. It ultimately took around 25 minutes, which I don’t think is too bad given some of the queue times I had seen for the ride at points. So, how was the ride? Well, I was once again seated in an inner seat in row 4, albeit on the right side rather than the left this time, and my thoughts were very similar to yesterday. The launch is excellent, but I’m not a massive fan of it as it’s pretty rough; however, it was not quite as bad as some of my worst fears and it wasn’t quite rough enough to be in contention for my “worst coaster ever” like I know it is for some. I have only ridden it in the inner seats, however:

After my ride on Furius Baco, I decided to hot foot it back towards the back of the park, taking a ride on another coaster with a short queue on my way there…

Stampida

Stampida was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so I decided to have a go on there. I picked the Red side, and the queue time board was true to its word, with me queueing exactly 10 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 6, and similarly to yesterday, I’m afraid I wasn’t the biggest lover of Stampida; the ride was pretty rough, and it also had very uncomfortable lap bar restraints that really dug in and constrained any kind of airtime potential:

After my ride on Stampida Red, I made a beeline for Mexico, as Hurakan Condor, which had spent pretty much all of my time at PortAventura on a ridiculous queue, was advertising only a 10 minute wait. When I joined, however, it became abundantly clear that this queue was longer than 10 minutes, and while I initially stuck it out thinking that the queue didn’t look too long, I decided to bail after 15 minutes of practically no movement:

After bailing on Hurakan Condor, I decided to head to Shambhala for another single rider queue reride. I waited marginally longer than the advertised queue time this time, waiting 35 minutes compared to an advertised 30 for the main queue, but when I got on, I scored the front car this time. Shambhala on the front was phenomenal, and possibly one of the best rides yet; the unencumbered sense of speed felt slightly stronger up front, and the sensation of getting pushed up into the hills was sublime:

After my reride on Shambhala, the single rider queue was unfortunately too long for me to have another reride and get back to meet my parents in time. As such, I instead decided to check out Hurakan Condor again, but the advertised queue time was back up to 1h 20m, so I gave it a miss for today and instead rerode El Diablo on a 10 minute advertised queue time as I was walking by. I was seated in row 3 this time, and it was similar to earlier:

After getting off El Diablo, I pondered doing a reride on Dragon Khan on my way back to Meditarranea to meet up with my parents, but it was already approaching 4:30pm, so I thought that the queue looked a tad too long for me to be able to ride it and walk back to meet my parents by our agreed meet up time of 4:45pm. As such, I decided to just steadily walk back to Meditarranea and close off my day at PortAventura Park there:

That was not quite the end of the day, however… when I met back up with my parents, we went to head into Ferrari Land for our one visit of this trip. We were at the entrance a little before the opening time of 5pm, so we had to wait for a bit before they opened the gates:

When we headed into Ferrari Land, we decided to join the masses and head into the pre-opening queue for…

Red Force

Red Force had a modest, albeit not small, pre-opening queue by the time we reached it, so as it was the primary draw of the park for us, we decided to join it and wait for the ride to open. We initially felt quite good about our prospects, as we were ahead of much of the pre-queue… but the ride unfortunately failed to open at the park opening time of 5pm. It was inactive for a while due to a technical fault, and 1h 10m of additional waiting passed before they started sending test trains around and a full 1.5 hours of additional waiting passed before the ride actually started operating with people on board at 6:30pm.  On a side note, I got to see them manually push the train slowly up the launch track and manually pull it slowly back along it, which I’ve never seen before; that was interesting, if nothing else:

Once the ride opened, we ultimately waited around 35 minutes for it, which we didn’t think was too bad given that the back of the queue when the ride opened was pegged at 1h 30m. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 2, and it was an absolutely fantastic coaster; it was incredibly fast with a phenomenal sense of speed, and it had some great airtime at the top of the top hat! I also felt that the overhead lap bars were much more comfortable than the old Intamin OTSRs! However, if I’m being totally honest… I perhaps controversially prefer Stealth, and given that Red Force is the tallest and fastest coaster I’ve ridden by quite some margin, I was maybe expecting a tad more. The launch was a bit rattly towards the end, notably more so than on Stealth, but the main critique I had is that I think this ride style does miss a little something without the hydraulic launch. Red Force is undeniably a very fast coaster and provides an awesome sense of speed, but without the rapid acceleration of the hydraulic launch, I almost felt that the ride didn’t feel quite as fast as it actually was. Nonetheless, Red Force was still an absolutely fantastic coaster that I loved, and I’m very glad I got to ride it (I was honestly slightly doubtful that I would even get to ride in the initial moments of our Ferrari Land visit):

After getting off Red Force, the ride had a 1.5 hour advertised queue and my parents had booked an evening dinner reservation in the hotel for later, so any notion of reriding it went out of the window. As such, I instead decided to try…

Thrill Towers

Thrill Towers was on an advertised 40 minute queue time, so being a fan of a good drop tower, I decided to have a ride on there. The queue ultimately only took 20 minutes, as a second tower that was initially closed reopened while I was in the queue; you can never moan about that! But how was the ride? Well, I was allocated the shot tower side, and it was good fun, with a fun launch and some fun floaty airtime, but I think I’ve ridden better examples of the genre elsewhere:

After I got off Thrill Towers, I met back up with my parents. I pondered doing something else, but our evening dinner reservation was looming, and Flying Dreams had a queue too long for us to ride it and get back to the hotel in time for dinner, Racing Legends was broken, and Red Force also had a queue too long for us to feasibly reride it, so we decided to call it a day there and head back to our hotel. Interestingly, we walked past the main entrance to PortAventura, which we hadn’t properly encountered previously:

So, that just about wraps up our second day at PortAventura Park and our visit to Ferrari Land! I had a great day; PortAventura Park once again delivered, with Shambhala rerides being sublime, surprises like Street Mission being awesome, and the park generally being wonderful, and it was great to get into Ferrari Land and ride Red Force! Crowd levels also weren’t nearly as high as I’d feared despite it being a public holiday in Catalonia; I didn’t feel that the crowd levels and queues were an awful lot different to yesterday, and I was still perfectly fine without any form of Express Pass.

In terms of Ferrari Land; I admit that my experience there was probably discoloured by waiting an extra 1.5 hours for Red Force to open and not spending an awful lot of time in there, but my opinions on it are very, very mixed. What’s there is excellent; Red Force is an absolutely superb headline coaster, and there’s also some lovely theming throughout the park. However… there frankly isn’t nearly enough of it. Ferrari Land is a very small park, and with only one real headline attraction, I think it is much too small for a stand-alone theme park; Red Force is basically the sole noteworthy attraction. It would have worked far better as an additional themed area of the main park, in my view. I also take issue with the way in which it is operated in some regards. I think the model of opening it in the evening from 5pm-10pm, while a nice idea on paper, causes issues because it causes practically everyone in the resort to converge on Red Force at once when the main park closes, which makes the queues for it very long and means that it struggles to handle the demand.  I also take issue with you only being allowed one visit to Ferrari Land in the package holiday deals; I feel that it would work better if they operated an unlimited 2-park park hopper ticket, similar to what Universal does, as then you could mix and match PortAventura Park and Ferrari Land more freely. Nonetheless, Red Force is excellent, and the park has some nice thematic foundations, so if PortAventura can expand and develop it in the years to come, many of these points will become moot.

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! Tomorrow, we’ll be heading into PortAventura Park for our final day there before heading home, so keep your eyes peeled for that report!

Today was the day, folks; our first day inside PortAventura Park! I couldn’t wait to get inside, ride attractions like Shambhala for the first time, and just generally see what the park had to offer for the very first time!

Now before I start this report, I should declare that perhaps controversially, we decided not to buy any form of Express Pass for our visit to the park today. We figured that if it was terrible today, we could always buy it for tomorrow and/or Thursday. Before spending all that money, we decided that we should at least try the park without Express first before assuming that Express was needed.

Anyway, let me start off our day at PortAventura Park.

After having breakfast in our hotel, we headed down to the Gold River entrance to the park at around 9:45am, and were ultimately let inside at just after 10am. This was very convenient, and put us in good stead to do our first attraction at the 10:30am opening time:

As we entered into the Far West section of PortAventura Park, we decided to initially head to a nearby attraction that apparently had quite poor capacity…

Uncharted: El Enigma De Penitence

Uncharted was nearby and had a relatively short pre-queue, so we decided to give it a go. I had been informed that the ride had low capacity and often built up a substantial queue, so I thought that it might be a sound idea to get that one done first seeing as our hotel entrance put us very close to it. The ride had a technical fault, so opened 15 minutes later than planned, but our decision to do it first proved an astute one, as we only waited 15 minutes for it once it opened and the advertised queue time was 1h 40m when we got off! Anyhow, how was the ride? Well, I actually went in knowing remarkably little, as I purposely didn’t spoil it for myself, and I have to say that I thought it was great fun! In terms of the coaster itself, I thought it was excellent; it had some fun twists and turns and fun launches, it was fast and dynamic, and I really enjoyed some of the tricksy elements (I’ll try not to spoil what those are)! I must admit, however, that I thought the on-ride theming left much to be desired for a coaster of this style; aside from the very first scene, it was pretty much a pitch black warehouse, and the screen scenes had practically nothing aside from said screens, with maintenance sheds and blank walls visible all around them. It’s a shame, as the queue is gorgeous and the coaster itself is excellent and offers potential for a great dark ride roller coaster. With marginally better on-ride theming, this could have been something quite special. Nevertheless, I still thought that Uncharted was great fun, and an excellent indoor coaster that I really enjoyed:

After getting off Uncharted, we headed to a hotly anticipated headliner of mine…

Shambhala

Shambhala was on an advertised 50 minute queue time, so we decided to take a ride on it. This queue ended up being marginally understated, taking more like 60 minutes, but I have to say that for all the tales of woe and horror I’ve heard about PortAventura’s supposedly dire operations over the years, operations on Shambhala were not nearly as bad as I was expecting, and the queue didn’t move terribly slowly. While I’d hesitate to call the operations fast, they were not half as bad as expected. The ride was getting just over 800pph and running 2 trains, and Express allocation did not seem excessive, so the queue didn’t move too badly. But enough about the queue; how was the ride? Well seeing as my current #1 is a B&M Hyper and Shambhala is often touted as the best of the type, it was a hotly anticipated ride for me; my most anticipated of the park, and possibly the whole year. I had very high expectations, but I was seated in the back row of the 6th car, and it did not disappoint; Shambhala is absolutely sublime! There’s so much good stuff to talk about with this ride! For starters, the first drop is absolutely phenomenal, with such strong sustained airtime all the way down; it sits proudly alongside Mako and Iron Gwazi as being one of my favourite first drops I’ve ever experienced! There’s also such wonderful sustained airtime, and it’s over every hill; Shambhala delivers right to the end! I think you also really feel the additional speed of Shambhala compared to the other B&M Hypers I’ve ridden, it’s absolutely glass smooth and comfortable… it’s just such a wonderful ride! My mum and dad loved it as well, and it definitely did not disappoint:

After our sublime first ride on Shambhala, we initially planned to do Dragon Khan, but instead decided to stroll further around the park, eventually settling on something a little different…

Tutuki Splash

Tutuki Splash was on a 10 minute advertised queue time, so we decided to take a ride on there. The queue took marginally longer than advertised, taking around 15-20 minutes, but it still wasn’t a long queue, so we couldn’t really complain too much. So, how was the ride? Well, I had a mild degree of trepidation seeing as I’m not a massive fan of absolute saturation soaking on water rides, but it was actually good fun and wasn’t too bad wetness-wise; it was more Jurassic Park than Valhalla, which suits me better! The theming was also lovely; the volcano is really cool, and I liked the jungle surroundings! Overall, Tutuki Splash was good fun, and although pretty wet afterwards, we dried out quickly in the Spanish sunshine:

After Tutuki Splash, we sat down and had lunch from a cafe in Meditarranea; I had a lovely margherita pizza slice! We then planned to do Furius Baco, as we’d previously seen that it only had a 20 minute queue, but after we had our lunch, it had broken down, so we instead headed back to Far West to do a different coaster (or duo of coasters) that had now opened…

Stampida

Stampida was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so we decided to give one of the coasters a ride. We opted for the Blue track for our first ride, and the queue ended up being very accurate, taking around 10 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was sat in row 8, and the racing element was good fun, with John Wardley’s surprise tunnel touch being particularly fun, and it hasn’t got a bad layout, but I wasn’t a massive fan of Stampida Blue. It was quite rough in numerous sections (albeit I’ve admittedly ridden rougher woodies; something like Grand National, for example, was definitely rougher), and I also thought that the trains were very uncomfortable, with a lap bar that seemed to tighten noticeably and really clasp you in as the ride went on, ensuring that you got precisely zero airtime. It seems like the sort of ride that could be vastly better if they gave it new trains and/or some retracking work, because there are some very decent wooden coaster foundations there. Overall, then, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Stampida Blue, despite it having a decent, long layout and fun racing features:

After getting off Stampida Blue, I whipped straight back round to nab the other Stampida credit, Stampida Red, while the queue was short. I was sat in the front row on the Red side, and it wasn’t an awful lot different to the Blue side, albeit it felt perhaps marginally smoother. This could have been caused by me being sat in the front, being sat on my own or both, however.

Following Stampida Red, me and my mum nipped to ride the other Far West woodie while the queue was short…

Tomahawk

Tomahawk was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride on there. As with Stampida, the queue was bang on the advertised time, taking 10 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I thought it was perfectly all right for a family woodie, if somewhat unremarkable. There were some fair drops on there and it picked up some speed in sections, and I personally found the ride smooth enough and with comfortable restraints. My mum, however, was somewhat pinned in and found the train uncomfortable. Overall, then, Tomahawk was a perfectly fun, if somewhat unremarkable, family wooden coaster:

After riding Tomahawk, we decided to go for another water ride…

Grand Canyon Rapids

Grand Canyon Rapids was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so we decided to give it a whirl. If anything, 10 minutes was slightly overestimated, as we were on the ride in only 5 minutes; you can never complain about that! So, how was the ride? Well, it looked like a somewhat unassuming rapids from off ride, but it was proof that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, as it was a very strong rapids! The river was fast, there were some good waves and some good water effects, and it was overall a very surprising rapids, with a certain ferocity that you don’t really get on a UK rapids anymore! While not Bilge Rats level soaked, we walked off surprisingly wet after being struck by a particularly vicious wave! The girls batched into our boat with us came off somewhat drier… proof if it was needed of the complete lottery rapids rides are! Overall, then, Grand Canyon Rapids was a very surprising rapids that packed many unexpected elements:

After Grand Canyon Rapids, my dad and I headed back over towards China, with us stopping at another coaster on the way there…

El Diablo: Tren de la Mina

El Diablo was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride on there. The 10 minute advertised queue time was in fact overstated, as we waltzed straight onto row 15! But how was the ride? Well, I did not go in with very high expectations, as I’ve never heard overly good things about El Diablo, but it was surprisingly good fun and definitely exceeded my expectations! It’s a really long coaster, it’s not overly rough, and while not the most thrilling coaster, it has some really fun helixes and turns where it gains surprising speed! Overall, then, I definitely enjoyed El Diablo more than I expected to, and my dad liked it too; it was definitely a positive surprise:

After El Diablo, me and my dad headed into China to tick off a big thrill coaster we hadn’t done yet…

Dragon Khan

Dragon Khan was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so we decided to give it a whirl. This queue was fractionally understated, taking around 15 minutes, but I still didn’t think that was an overly long queue for such a major headliner. So, how was the ride? Well, I’d heard that Dragon Khan was very rough, but I was seated in an inner seat on row 6, and I did not find it as bad as expected based on reviews, despite not having an overly high roughness tolerance. It has a bit of headbanging in places, and is perhaps one of the rougher B&Ms I’ve ridden, but it wasn’t anything overly terrible and the ride was overall not terribly rough. It was no rougher than, say, the retracked Hulk at Universal. The layout is also very decent, with some excellent inversions and good forces; it’s rather reminiscent of Kumba in that regard, even if it hasn’t seemingly aged quite as well. Overall, then, Dragon Khan wasn’t a bad ride at all; while not glass smooth, I didn’t find it massively rough, and the layout is very decent:

After Dragon Khan, my mum and dad left the park and left me to my own devices. As such, I decided to go for not one, but two, rerides on Shambhala using the single rider queue. This worked well; on a 30 minute advertised queue, I got onto the ride within 15 minutes the first time, and even with a stoppage of 5-10 minutes while I was in the queue, I still matched the advertised main queue time of 30 minutes the second time. As for the ride itself, I was seated in the back row of the 7th car both times, and if anything, the ride was possibly even better than it was in the morning, and seemingly grew on me even more with each ride! The sustained airtime was once again glorious, the speed was once again glorious, the ride was blissfully smooth and comfortable once again, and overall, the ride was just absolutely sublime and such a joyous experience!:

You may notice that earlier in the report, I steered clear of doing any direct comparisons and answering the question of whether Shambhala has bested Mako as my #1 coaster. After my first ride, I was unsure of Shambhala’s placement among my B&M Hypers (the other two I’ve ridden are Mako and Silver Star), but I knew it was in the conversation of top coasters… the second and third rides, however, made me think that it may have sealed the deal to become my favourite B&M Hyper Coaster, and that after 8 years, I may finally have a new #1 coaster! I’m not concluding that firmly just yet, as I still have 2 more days to ride it more and decide, but currently, I am thinking that Shambhala is a new #1 for me!

In terms of what is spurring me to provisionally place Shambhala above Mako; there are a couple of things that I feel it does slightly better while maintaining all of Mako’s best qualities. Firstly, I think the additional speed really enhances it. Secondly, I also think that Shambhala flows better and keeps the thrills going right to the end marginally better than Mako does; on Mako, you have the harsh trim and the slightly weaker ending, but on Shambhala, the ride flows beautifully, every hill delivers sublime sustained airtime and it keeps the thrills going right to the end! I also thought that Shambhala’s speed hill was a bit better than Mako’s; on Mako, that hill, while wonderful, isn’t a particularly standout moment, but on Shambhala, it provides an absolutely stunning pop of ejector airtime! Mako is still an absolutely sublime ride, but when it’s the #1 spot you’re talking about, pedantry has to win out, and Shambhala marginally wins on pedantry for me!

I pondered a 3rd reride on Shambhala, but the single rider queue looked longer when I got off after my 2nd reride, and I realised that there was still a key thrill coaster I needed to ride to get the clean sweep of major coasters in PortAventura Park. As such, I headed down to Mediterranea to go and ride…

Furius Baco

While Furius Baco had a single rider queue, it looked rather long, so I decided to chance the 50 minute main queue instead. The 50 minute main queue turned out to be perfectly accurate, taking the advertised 50 minutes; you can never complain about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I was morbidly intrigued to ride Furius Baco, as I’ve always heard deeply polarised opinions about it and it has its fair share of both passionate lovers and passionate haters. One common thread, however, is that the ride is generally agreed to be quite rough, and given what some of Baco’s haters say about it, I was morbidly intrigued to see just how rough it actually was. I was seated in a relatively unremarkable seat, being in the row 4 inner seat on the left, and I can’t say I was too much of a fan. The launch was excellent and incredibly punchy, as is always the case with these Intamin hydraulic launches… but it is definitely a pretty rough ride! Interestingly, I wouldn’t say it was overly rough in the traditional sense of head-splitting jolts or jerkiness, which I tend to be more sensitive to than rattling/bouncing… but it is perhaps one of the bounciest coasters I’ve ever ridden, to the extent where the sheer degree of bouncing bordered on head-splitting joltiness on odd occasions, and I definitely came off with a decent headache! In the seat I was sat in, I wouldn’t say it was quite uncomfortably rough enough to be “the worst coaster I’ve ever ridden” or in that very bottom 1/10 tier like some declare it, and I think I have ridden some rougher coasters… but it was still a bit too rough for me, and given how rough it was in the row 4 inner seat, it’s not too hard to imagine it being utterly vile on an outer seat! Overall, then, I’m afraid I wasn’t a huge fan of Furius Baco, despite the ever punchy Intamin hydraulic launch. For me, it’s simply much too rough to be something I overly enjoy or rate highly; even if it perhaps wasn’t the most uncomfortably rough coaster I’ve ever ridden in the row 4 inner seat, it was still too rough to fully enjoy for me, and it’s not too hard for me to imagine how it could be absolutely vile on an outer seat or further back in the train!:

By the time I got off Furius Baco, the 6pm park closing time had passed, so I bade PortAventura Park goodnight for the day and headed back to Hotel Gold River to meet back up with my mum and dad:

So, that wraps up our first day in PortAventura Park! I had an absolutely excellent day; Shambhala was a particularly huge highlight, but there were many other great bits too, and in general, I just thoroughly enjoyed the day and loved setting foot inside PortAventura Park for the first time and seeing what it had to offer!

In terms of my first impressions of PortAventura Park; they are overall very, very positive, and I feel that the park is right up there as one of the strongest in Europe, of the ones I’ve visited (admittedly not too many compared to some)! It’s an utterly gorgeous park to walk around and just exist in, the theming is sublime and intricately detailed throughout, and there are some great rides (Shambhala being the main highlight)! Thus far, I’m absolutely loving the park, and I can’t wait to get back in there tomorrow; I dare say that it’s possibly exceeded my expectations so far!

I also feel that I should address those old chestnuts that people always moan about with PortAventura; the operations, the queues and Express Pass. Overall, I did not feel that those things were nearly as bad as I was expecting. Express usage did not appear to be excessive, and while I’d hesitate to call the operations fast, I didn’t think they were overly awful by any stretch of the imagination; I’ve seen far worse. Shambhala was doing over 800pph on 2 trains, Stampida had 2 trains on both sides and was doing a combined 1,200pph, the water rides were sending boats at a decent rate, and in general, the operations did not seem that terrible. The queues also weren’t that bad either. I did not buy Express Pass today, and personally, I don’t think I needed it; on the whole, the queues today were no worse than on a busy day at Alton Towers or Thorpe Park, and I’ve certainly waited in longer and slower-moving queues at some of our UK Merlin parks. I’d also argue that PortAventura actually had an advantage over those in that it seemed easier to find major rides with a short queue; rides like Stampida, Tomahawk, El Diablo and the water rides seemed to have queues of 20 minutes or less all day. I was certainly very content with my ride count of 12 in 7.5 hours without using Express Pass; I managed to get on every major coaster, as well as 2 water rides, and get in rerides on Shambhala!

Overall, though, I had a fantastic day at PortAventura Park, and my first impressions are overall very positive!

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Tomorrow, we’ll be heading back into PortAventura Park, as well as also visiting Ferrari Land. I can’t wait to get on Red Force for the first time!

9th September 2024: Travel

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; the start of my big foreign theme park trip for the year. This year, that trip is my first ever trip to PortAventura World in Spain! This will be my first time ever experiencing the likes of Shambhala and Red Force, amongst other major rides, as well as experiencing a pretty major European theme park resort in the form of PortAventura World for the first time and seeing the delights it has to offer through a fresh set of eyes! It’s also my first time ever going to Spain despite doing a GCSE in Spanish… there are quite a lot of firsts this trip!

We set off early this morning, leaving our Gloucestershire home at a little before 7:30am. With us living in the South West of England, we flew from Bristol Airport, our nearest airport. Despite us not living very far from Bristol, it took us over an hour to get there; I can see why my dad jokingly calls Bristol Airport “Bedminster International”, because it’s miles out of Bristol… anyway, when we got there, check in and security were nice and prompt. Bristol Airport has a fancy new check in system where you don’t take anything out of your bag and it just checks the bag… other than me needing to take my shoes off and have them sent back round the carousel due to some sort of anomaly, it overall worked well and we got through quickly!:

When we got into the airport, we then headed for our flight. It was an EasyJet flight to Barcelona El Prat Airport, and it was excellent! The plane was very nice, and everything ran to schedule; it took a little under 2 hours, and we even landed a few minutes ahead of schedule! The time went quite quickly on there; we ate lunch, and I played some games on my iPad and also read How Westminster Works… And Why it Doesn’t, an excellent book by Ian Dunt that explains how every part of the English political system is apparently structured to work against meaningful scrutiny and change. It’s a fascinating read… political books might be a fascinating new genre for me to delve into! Anyway, that’s besides the point; the flight was good, and immigration was also relatively quick:

After we landed, we headed to find our shared transfer, booked through PortAventura. This was interesting… it was relatively easy to find and set up, but they like to send you walking for this! We landed in Terminal 2C, but the desk to arrange transfers was at the very end of the check in desks in Terminal 2B, which was a decent walk from where we landed, and then we had to walk even further to all the way past the taxis to catch our bus:

The bus itself was easy to catch and we got on it with relative ease, but when we were on it, the flaws of coach travel began to emerge; I’m not sure how long the drive from Barcelona El Prat to PortAventura would normally be, but it took us around 2h 45m to reach our hotel from leaving our pick up point, in large part due to us spending at least an hour going on a whistle stop tour of the many different hotels of Salou to drop different people off. As such, we reached PortAventura at around 5:30pm despite leaving the original pick up point at around 2:45pm. On the positive side, however, I must say that from having driven along the road, Spain is probably one of the more picturesque foreign countries I’ve been to; the mountainous landscape and clear blue sea is absolutely gorgeous! I also found it interesting how large parts of the road network seem to be encased in tunnels; it was almost like being back in the Brynglas Tunnels on the M4 near Newport back at home, except without nearly the same volume of queueing!

Anyhow, after our bus ride, we arrived at our accommodation for the trip; Hotel Gold River, one of the on-site hotels at PortAventura. I’ve often heard deeply mixed reviews of PortAventura, which gave me some degree of trepidation… but on first impressions, Hotel Gold River is absolutely stunning! It’s impeccably themed, with so many little details around the place, our Superior Callaghan Room is lovely, the place is pristine, it has a lovely ambience about it, and overall, the whole place is just wonderful! From a theming and ambience standpoint, it’s as nice as any theme park hotel I’ve ever been to, and that includes the ones at Europa Park; from the hotel, I’m getting a real Europa Park vibe, and given how excellent those hotels were and that park was, I think that’s encouraging:

(I apologise for the bombardment of photos… Gold River is such a photogenic hotel, and there was so much I wanted to photograph!)

After arriving and checking in, we initially went for a little stroll around the hotel complex to explore our surroundings (where many of the above photos were taken) and had a drink in one of the bars. My mum and dad were thrilled at the drink prices; 2 large Estrellas for them and a Diet Coke for me only cost €13.30, which seems very cheap!

Later on, we then went for our evening meal at the Grand Hall buffet. This was lovely; the food was really nice, and we all enjoyed it! Although it was nothing too fancy, the food was lovely, and I’m not a huge foodie, so that suits me fine. Another interesting thing that happened during our meal is that at one point, the waiting staff all suddenly erupted into a song and dance show to a song with the primary lyrics “Hola, hola!”, where they were dancing and clapping along to the music! I’ve never seen that in a restaurant before, and I thought it was quite a fun touch… the restaurant also erupted into a chorus of “cumpleaños feliz” a couple of times for people’s birthdays, where the waiting staff were going through the restaurant clapping with cake to tables where people had birthdays, but I’ve seen that in plenty of restaurants. I’m already getting the impression that PortAventura is quite a “showy” park where they like to do a song and dance, and I’m sensing that that “hola, hola” song could be a recurring theme during the break, as we also heard it from one of the shows in the saloon bar…

After our lovely meal at the buffet, we then got more drinks from the bar and sat outside in the central plaza area of Gold River. The hotel just has such a lovely ambience about it, and with the pleasant Spanish climate, being sat outside with drinks soaking up the night time ambience of Hotel Gold River was just lovely:

After that, we headed back to our room for the night, ready for our first day in PortAventura Park tomorrow.

So, that wraps up the first instalment of this series of reports from my first ever visit to PortAventura World in Spain! I have to say that based on my experience at the hotel tonight, it’s looking very promising for the park itself; Hotel Gold River is wonderful, and with its wonderfully detailed theming, nice food and lovely ambience, I could not say enough nice things about it! It’s made me very excited to set foot in PortAventura Park and see all of the delights it has to offer tomorrow; I can’t wait for Shambhala in particular, and I’m just excited to see what’s on offer at a new major European theme park!

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! I’m sorry that it’s a bit more of a boring one today, but tomorrow’s will be far more interesting, as we’re setting foot into PortAventura Park for the first time!

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; the day of my solo trip to Drayton Manor! With my last visit being in 2022, I was returning to the park to check out Gold Rush, the final new-for-2024 UK coaster for me to ride, as well as The Wave following the sit-down conversion, and to take in the various other delights of Drayton Manor!

Today started early, with me making the 5 minute drive to my local train station at a bit before 7am to take a 7:24am train to Wilnecote, arriving in Wilnecote at 9:04am. This train was very prompt, and all went well:

After I arrived in Wilnecote, I walked the 30 minutes or so from the station to Drayton Manor, getting to the park entrance at just gone 9:30am. Aside from one other small group, I was the first at the park entrance, putting me in good stead for entry into the park at 10:30am:

After entering the park, my initial idea was to head to Gold Rush and get the new credit out of the way. However, I waited around the area for a few minutes, and the ride didn’t seem as though it was going to open any time soon, so I eventually changed course and went to the other “new” ride since my last visit…

The Wave

The Wave was open and on a practically walk-on queue, so I decided to have a go on there. I was interested to try The Wave out, as I’ve long held the possibly controversial opinion that Shockwave would have been greatly improved with sit-down trains. So, how was The Wave? Did it improve on standup Shockwave as I’d long suspected it might? Well, I was seated in row 2, and the answer is yes overall, but I think the ride’s flaws are still quite apparent. On the positive side, the new trains are generally very comfortable, and a considerable improvement on the old standing trains. As I suspected, this has allowed some of the ride’s more decent elements to shine through more; some of the inversions are quite decent. However, it is still a bit rough in places (albeit you feel it slightly less due to the lack of OTSRs), that brake run slam is still horribly abrupt at the end, and the ride also doesn’t have the most interesting of layouts. I also noticed that the lap bar occasionally had a tendency to tighten quite noticeably during the ride. Nonetheless, I do think it’s overall an improvement, particularly seeing as the new trains open it up to a wider audience and allow younger kids to ride. I think it fills the role of a “first big inverting coaster” quite nicely!:

After The Wave, I decided to do another ride in Adventure Cove…

Maelstrom

Maelstrom was on a walk-on queue, so I decided to have a ride on it. I can never complain about a walk-on queue! But how was the ride? Well, I’m perhaps controversially not a huge fan of gyroswings, and Maelstrom isn’t really an exception to that, but I have to say that it is probably my favourite gyroswing of the 3 I’ve ridden. There is some nice speed in there and the odd bit of airtime, but I don’t find the sensations to hit as hard as they do on, say, an S&S Screamin’ Swing, and I’m not a huge lover of the spinning aspect. Overall, I’m not a huge lover of gyroswings, but to be fair, I must admit that Maelstrom is probably the strongest gyroswing I’ve ridden:

After Maelstrom, I decided to try another Adventure Cove flat ride, but one that I’d never done before…

Wave Swinger

As with most things thus far in my Drayton Manor day, Wave Swinger was on a walk-on queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. I was interested to try Wave Swinger, as other than a solitary ride on Twirling Toadstool at Alton Towers as a very young child, I had never actually ridden one of these swing rides before. So, how was the ride? Well, I wasn’t the biggest fan, with my key gripe being that it felt rather spinnier than it looked off-ride, meaning that I found the experience mildly dizzying, to say the least. That’s down to my poor spin tolerance rather than being the ride’s fault, but overall, I wasn’t a huge fan:

After Wave Swinger, I noticed that a key draw of my visit was finally open, so I decided to make a beeline for it…

Gold Rush

Gold Rush had now opened, so I decided to head on over and take a ride on there. Once again, this ride was practically walk-on, and I waltzed straight into the back row. I can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, I’d heard quite muted initial reviews of Gold Rush, so I went in with somewhat lowered expectations, but I have to say that it definitely exceeded my expectations. I thought Gold Rush was absolutely fab, and it was a very pleasant surprise! Don’t get me wrong, it is not the world’s most intense or thrilling coaster, but I thought it was just really great fun and very easily rerideable! There are plenty of fun twists and turns, the ride packs surprising vigour in places, it’s smooth and comfortable, it’s long, and overall, I just thought it was an excellent family coaster! The theming is also lovely, and overall, I think it’s an absolutely superb fit for Drayton Manor, and exactly the sort of fun, rerideable family coaster they needed, in my view:

After Gold Rush, I headed to the final operating non-kiddie coaster I hadn’t yet ridden…

Jormungandr

As with everything else, Jormungandr was on a practically walk-on queue (you’re probably sick to death of me saying that by now…), so I decided to give it a go. So, how was Jormungandr? Well, it’s all right for what it is, but I wouldn’t call it an overly strong powered coaster. It has its fun moments of mild speed, but it seems to really struggle up any kind of incline and have considerable stretches where it goes very slowly. Between that and the fact that it’s also somewhat rough whenever it picks up speed, I’d definitely argue that Jormungandr is showing its age a tad now, but for what it is, I think it’s overall OK:

After Jormungandr, I headed for another ride on The Wave. This time, I was seated in row 3, and it was similar to before; an improvement on the old Shockwave, with more comfortable new restraints and some decent inversions, but still not without some notable flaws:

After my reride on The Wave, I headed for two back-to-back rerides on Gold Rush (one in row 7 and one in row 10). As with before, I found the ride to be a fantastic family coaster that was great fun and definitely proved a positive surprise:

After my rerides on Gold Rush, I briefly sat down to eat my lunch, timing the throughput of Gold Rush as I ate (for those interested in such matters, my reading was 511pph). I then headed for a reride on The Wave; I was seated in the front row this time, and while it was probably the best ride I’d had on it so far, my thoughts remained quite similar:

After my reride on The Wave, I then headed for a reride on Jormungandr; I was sat in the front row this time, and similarly to earlier, I thought that the ride was OK for what it was, with some fun moments of mild speed, but nothing particularly earth-shattering. Sat up front, however, I did notice some rather disconcerting creaking noises as we re-entered the station…:

After Jormungandr, I headed to my first different ride for the day for a couple of rides…

Thor

Thor looked empty and like it was looking for riders, so I decided to give it a whirl while I was in the Vikings area. While I’m not generally a huge fan of flat rides, I didn’t remember Thor being too bad back in 2022, so I was interested to take a ride on there. So, how was the ride? Well, I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t quite as good as I’d remembered in 2022. While there was some good speed in places, the ride was a little spinnier than I’d previously remembered, and today, I also found the motorbike-style seats rather uncomfortable:

After my ride on Thor, I headed for two more back-to-back rides on Gold Rush (one in row 2 and one in the back row), and I really enjoyed them once again. Gold Rush has been such an excellent addition to Drayton Manor and given them the rerideable, fun family coaster they really needed:

After the two rerides on Gold Rush, I decided to do something slightly different and head for a dark ride…

Sheriff’s Showdown

Sheriff’s Showdown was walk on, so I decided to take a ride on there. I thought a dark ride might mark a nice change of pace at this point, and Sheriff’s Showdown was right there in front of me! So, how was it? Well, it was good fun! I’m not very good at interactive dark rides, but I found Sheriff’s Showdown to have quite a nice, self-explanatory shooting system. There are also some nice props and sets in there; I particularly liked how some of the props reacted to being “shot at”, which added a nice touch compared to something like Duel where you shooting targets had no impact on any of the surrounding scenery. Overall, then, Sheriff’s Showdown provided a nice dark ride diversion for a few minutes; in terms of my score, I got 7,800:

After my ride on Sheriff’s Showdown, I had a go on the other dark ride directly next to it…

The Haunting

The Haunting was right next to where I was, so I decided to give it a go. This was the first time today where I had to wait for a few minutes; due to the manner in which The Haunting operates, wherein the experience only runs every 15 minutes, there is often a small wait outside. It didn’t take long, however, and me and one or two other groups with small children were ushered inside the building before we knew it. So, how was The Haunting? Well, I thought it was quite good! The various pre-shows are quite good and atmospheric on there, and while the madhouse portion itself is perhaps weaker in terms of ambience and effects than some others I’ve experienced, it still provides a solid conclusion to the experience nonetheless! I also had a rather eerie experience on here… you may remember that I mentioned that the two other groups joining me in the Haunting were groups with small children. Well, said small children were put off the ride portion of the experience by the spooky pre-shows… so they skipped the ride portion, meaning that I ended up being the only person in the entire Madhouse! I’ve done rides on my own before, but I’ve never done something like a Madhouse on my own and been the only person in the entire experience before… it was incredibly eerie! That certainly added an interesting angle to the experience for me, anyhow:

After The Haunting, I then went for two more fun rerides on Gold Rush. I was seated in row 11, and I did both rides without leaving my seat!:

After that, I went for another reride on Jormungandr. I was seated in row 13, and similarly to earlier, it was OK, with some fun moments of mild speed:

I then went for another reride on The Wave, where I was seated in row 2. Similarly to earlier, it had some decent elements and felt somewhat improved over the standup version:

I then went for two more back-to-back rerides on Gold Rush (one in the front row and one in the back row). By this point, the cycle had changed to Cycle 2, so that provided a different experience; I’m not entirely sure which of the two cycles I prefer, to tell you the truth:

After my two rides on Gold Rush, I decided to go for something slightly more relaxing…

Polperro Express

The Polperro Express had only a short wait, so I decided to take a relaxing detour on there. I’d never ridden it before, so I was interested to see what it was like. I have to say that it was a very nice ride; there’s something quite charming about a steam train, and it was nice to just sit back and take in the sights of the park for a few minutes:

After my ride on the Polperro Express, I went for two back-to-back rerides on The Wave (one in the front, one in the back). These were enjoyable enough, even if that brake run slam became no less abrupt with successive rerides:

I then went to my final different ride for the day…

Flying Dutchman

Flying Dutchman was walk on, so as I’d never ridden it before, I decided to give it a go. My relatively poor spin tolerance is well documented at this point, so I wondered whether I’d find the ride too spinny, but it wasn’t too bad, with the ride being a relatively sedate experience:

After my ride on Flying Dutchman, I decided to have a reride on Jormungandr in row 16:

I then closed out the day with 5 back-to-back rerides on Gold Rush (4 in the back row and 1 in row 3). This was a great note to end the day on; Gold Rush is such a fun and rerideable coaster:

After my final rides on Gold Rush, the 4:30pm closing time had arrived, and I headed out of the park. To get back home, I actually had to do something slightly different and go from Tamworth station instead of Wilnecote, so my good friend Uber once again came in handy. As with my South East trip in June, Uber proved excellent; I could not say enough good things about it. As for Tamworth station itself; this was a confusing station. The split level platform meant that it took me a good few minutes to get to the right platform… I also changed in Birmingham New Street on the way home, and that is an impressive station following the revamp work! I was a particular fan of the giant animatronic bull; I thought that was very cool! I eventually got picked up in Gloucester at around 7:30pm, thus bringing my day to an end:

So, that just about wraps up my day at Drayton Manor! I had an excellent day; I was thrilled to get on both Gold Rush and The Wave, and I was thrilled with the deserted crowd levels, which meant that I ended the day on a ride count of 31 (!). That is a new record ride count for me in one theme park day (albeit only narrowly beating my previous record of 30)! For those who have lost track, my final ride count was as follows:

• Gold Rush x14
• The Wave x6
• Jormungandr x4
• Maelstrom x1
• Wave Swinger x1
• Thor x1
• Sheriff’s Showdown x1
• The Haunting x1
• Polperro Express x1
• Flying Dutchman x1

I had a brilliant day both riding new things and reriding things I’ve done before, but I have to say that Gold Rush was a definite highlight! Apocalypse was a brilliant ride that left big shoes to fill, but Gold Rush is a more than satisfactory replacement, in my view; it’s a brilliant family coaster that’s fun and rerideable, and it thoroughly exceeded my expectations! It’s such a good addition to the park, and exactly what they needed!

On a personal note, I was also happy for another solo trip to go well. I know I’ve been on a solo day trip to Drayton Manor before, but it does always give me a confidence boost when these things go well!

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! You haven’t got long to wait until my next one, as I’m off on my first ever visit to PortAventura World in Spain on Monday! I can’t wait to get to another major European theme park, and I can’t wait to experience headline coasters such as Shambhala and Red Force for the first time!

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; the day of my return to Thorpe Park to finally ride Hyperia! I was going to Thorpe today seeking sweet, sweet redemption… I’d already been unsuccessful on a previous attempt to ride Hyperia back in June, with me having to agonisingly watch it test before it reopened 2 days later… that tasted particularly bitter, and to rub salt in the wound, I then watched tons of other people, including my sister who isn’t overly into coasters, go on it and tell me how brilliant it was. Today, I was finally going to find out whether I agreed!

That was not the only exciting aspect of the day, however… the other exciting aspect is that after two successful visits to Alton Towers that he absolutely loved, my grandad decided to join me and my dad at Thorpe Park today! After he loved Alton Towers, me and dad thought that Thorpe Park would be the next logical step for him, and I was excited to show him the sights and sounds of the UK’s most thrilling theme park for the first time!

That’s enough of a prologue, though; let’s get into the meat of our day at Thorpe Park!

We left our home in Gloucestershire at around 7:40am this morning and after a relatively smooth drive barring some reduced speed limits and roadworks on the M4, we arrived at Thorpe Park 2 hours later, making good time for entry into the park a little after 10am following a brief wait for security:

On the subject of security, we actually had a rather interesting near miss with Thorpe Park security today…

As we were queueing for security, my dad was telling my grandad that he would need to take his watch and such off for the metal detector. Thinking that my grandad would be irritated by this, we were both taken by surprise when he said “I’m more worried about the f***ing knife in my pocket!”. Before anyone gets any ideas, I should clarify that this was a small penknife that my grandad uses for gardening and had simply forgotten to take out of his pocket, but it still gave my dad fear that Thorpe Park security staff would get the wrong idea if my grandad tried to go in with it, and he sternly directed my grandad to the sign clearly stating “No Knives”! It didn’t seem to cause any issues (we were relieved, but I’m not sure whether the lack of drama is a good thing or not in the grand scheme of things…), but me and my dad were nonetheless concerned about how this could have been received by the security staff… I think we were very lucky!

After thankfully entering the park drama-free, we pondered going to Hyperia first, but as it had by far the longest queue and we wanted to give my grandad a proper first timer’s taste of what Thorpe Park had to offer, we decided to go for a different big coaster first…

Colossus

While some signs said it was closed, Colossus was in fact open on a 0 minute advertised queue, so me and my grandad decided to give it a go (my dad sat this one out, as he’s too tall for the restraints). As promised, the ride was indeed walk-on, so me and grandad waltzed onto row 7 very promptly; you can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, I’m not the biggest fan of Colossus, but I have to say that today’s ride in row 7 was not bad at all as Colossus goes, and maybe in contention for being the best ride I’ve ever had on it! It was a bit rough in places, but nothing overly terrible by any stretch, and the first half was pretty decent! The tight restraints definitely take away from the ride, and I’m still not convinced I overly enjoy the numerous consecutive heartline rolls in the second half, but in the grand scheme of Colossus rides, I could not complain too much! My grandad was a big fan of the ride; he described Colossus as “right up there with Smiler as one of the most insane coasters [he’d] ever ridden” and remarked that it “was the first time [he’d] ever felt like [he] was going to fall out of the restraint”!:

After Colossus, we decided to head to another big coaster nearby…

Saw: The Ride

Saw was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride on there. This queue was marginally understated, taking more like 15-20 minutes, but it still wasn’t overly long. So, how was the ride? Well, we were seated on the front row, and I’m afraid to say that it wasn’t an overly good Saw ride; there were a number of notable jolts, including a particularly head-splitting one on the first drop, and there was a general strong roughness throughout. Unfortunately, I’m sad to say that my grandad did not enjoy this one, or at very least, it did not seem to agree with him; he came off it feeling “sick as a dog” and didn’t seem to enjoy the roughness and jerkiness of it. To be honest, I sadly think it was a bit of a day ruiner for him, as I’m not sure he ever completely recovered from it:

After Saw, we finally decided to give into temptation and ride the big new draw after seeing that its queue time had dropped…

Hyperia

Hyperia was on an advertised 65 minute queue time, and my dad didn’t think that it even looked that long, so we decided to give it a ride. Despite my dad’s thinking that it didn’t look 65, the queue time board was true to its word and we ended up waiting 65 minutes. Even still, I can’t complain too much about a 65 minute queue for a brand new ride in the summer holidays; I’ve waited far worse! So, how was Hyperia after all the anticipation? Well, I was seated in row 8, and it was a phenomenal ride, with obscene speed and very nice airtime and hangtime… but I wasn’t immediately certain on whether it was absolutely top tier. I’m going to remain shtum on Hyperia at this stage in the report, however, as previous experience with hyped-up, revered rides has taught me that 1 ride is not necessarily enough to reliably get the measure of a hyped ride’s true greatness. When I went to Florida last year, for example, both VelociCoaster and Iron Gwazi grew on me considerably after a second ride, so I wondered if the same would be true of Hyperia… let’s just say that the story does not end there! In terms of my dad and grandad’s thoughts, my dad said that it was “undeniably excellent, but not as good as VelociCoaster” (my dad’s favourite ride), remarking that “it was absolutely mental”, and that “the first drop was mental”, but that he was “unsure on [his] feelings on this getting airtime by pushing you out of your seat sideways lark”. I didn’t get much of an opinion from my grandad other than relief that it was smoother than Saw (although I did think I heard a distinct “f***ing hell” fall out of his mouth as we hit the brake run… interpret that however you wish!):

After Hyperia, we decided to sit down on a bench and calmly eat lunch for a bit before heading to our next big coaster…

The Swarm

The Swarm was on an advertised 35 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride. This queue time ended up being understated, as we ultimately ended up waiting around 50 minutes. On a side note, the operations seemed notably slower than usual on here, with 2+ minute dispatches and stacking being frequent. But how was the ride? Well, we were seated in row 3, and it was really decent! I do really like Swarm, and today was no exception; I love the sense of speed (particularly on the first drop as you start it’s a smooth ride, and I also think that there are some very nice inversions on there! The vest restraints are a minor detractor for me, but not a huge one; I overall thoroughly enjoyed my ride! My grandad seemed a bit non-plussed by the experience, describing it as “a bit uneventful”:

After The Swarm, we headed over to our next big coaster…

Nemesis Inferno

Nemesis Inferno was on an advertised 30 minute queue, so me and my dad decided to take a ride on there. By this point, my grandad had clearly had enough of the rides and decided to sit Nemesis Inferno out. The 35 minute queue was marginally overstated, instead taking 30 minutes, and we took our seats on the back row. So, how was the ride? Well, I thoroughly enjoyed today’s ride on Nemesis Inferno; it was smooth, was forceful without being excessively forceful, and packed some awesome inversions and a brilliant sense of speed throughout! I do really enjoy Nemesis Inferno, and I don’t think the Nemesis comparison does it any favours; it’s a cracking coaster in its own right! My dad said that the ride was “good”, but that “it definitely wasn’t as smooth as the new Nemesis at Alton Towers” for him (I disagreed with him on this, but to be fair, I was seated in a middle seat while dad was sat in an outer seat):

After Nemesis Inferno, we met back up with my grandad to head over to Stealth and see whether he’d ride it, but it pretty much closed the second we got there. As my grandad wasn’t even sure if he wanted to ride it anyway and seemed like he’d had enough, we decided to leave the ride be for today. I would have liked to get a ride on there, as I do love Stealth, but I wasn’t too distraught not to seeing as I had 4 rides on my June visit; I can’t exactly say I haven’t already had a decent fill of Stealth this year:

After we abandoned Stealth, my grandad had no intentions of riding anything else and we’d covered all of the other big coasters, so my dad let me loose to go and reride Hyperia using the single rider queue. I had not one, but two additional rides on Hyperia using this, and both gave me a notable advantage over the main queue. The first ride saw me dodge a 65 minute advertised queue and only wait 35 minutes, while the second ride saw me dodge a 90 minute advertised queue and only wait 30 minutes. I can never complain about that! By complete fluke, I also got assigned to the back row on both rides, so I managed to take two rides in the back right seat, which is supposedly “the best seat on the ride” according to one of the designers!:

Now, I think it’s about time I talked in a little more detail about Hyperia than I did earlier. The million dollar question is; did Hyperia repeat the phenomenon of VelociCoaster and Iron Gwazi, where “the second ride was the charm”, so to speak? Well, the answer is yes! Oh my god, yes! I loved Hyperia the first time and thought it was phenomenal, but it was the rerides that made me see the height of its true greatness and declare with certainty that for me, this is definitely a top tier ride! Where to begin with it… in terms of some key highlights:

• That first drop is absolutely unhinged, and so, so good! I love a big first drop, and this is a sublime one; the ejector airtime is absolutely absurd (you get absolutely ripped out of the seat!), the 180 degree twist adds an intriguing additional sensation, and the sense of speed you are hit with at the bottom is nuts! Hyperia definitely sits alongside Mako and Iron Gwazi as having one of my favourite first drops I’ve ever done!
• That outerbanked turn into the inversion is insane. I’ve never experienced an element quite like it; while I’m not necessarily convinced that sideways airtime beats good old straight airtime for me, the sustained sideways ejector was absolutely absurd!
• The Immelmann is just wonderful! The speed you get going up into it is brilliant, and you get an absolutely sublime pop of sustained ejector airtime coming out of it! This was a definite highlight of the ride for me!
• This is a fast ride, and you can definitely feel it! The sense of speed is absolutely absurd; Hyperia reminds you just how fast 81mph is!

I’ll do a longer and more detailed review later in the relevant thread that has a couple of critiques as well, but overall, Hyperia is just absolutely sublime, in my view! It’s a stunning investment for Thorpe Park and the UK theme park industry, and it certainly lived up to the years of hype for me! In terms of comparisons and specific ranking spots; I’ve thought it over following my 3 rides, and I will say the following:

• It is easily my favourite ride at Thorpe Park
• It is easily my favourite UK coaster
• In terms of overall rankings out of the 123 coasters I’ve ridden, I have conservatively opted for the #5 spot, with the ride currently being beaten only by Mako, VelociCoaster, Silver Star and Iron Gwazi in my rankings. It’s definitely a top 5 worthy candidate, folks!

Overall, then; I absolutely loved Hyperia, and it definitely lived up to the hype for me!

To return to our Thorpe Park day; by the time I’d had 2 Hyperia rides, it was around 3:45pm. My grandad was clearly flagging and had had enough and my dad seemed like he didn’t to wait around any longer, so we left the park for the day.

So, that brings my day at Thorpe Park today to a close! Overall, then, I had a great day; I was thrilled to finally get on Hyperia for the first time, and it did not disappoint! That was my main aim for the day, and with 3 rides on it, I comfortably accomplished this aim! I also enjoyed getting on some of Thorpe’s other great rides; these always put me in a good mood, and while Hyperia is now the crown jewel, some of Thorpe’s other coasters are no slouches either! Thorpe has always had an excellent coaster selection for me, and Hyperia has just taken it to the next level!

I was disheartened, however, by the fact that my grandad didn’t seem to have an especially enjoyable day, and didn’t warm to Thorpe Park like he did to Alton Towers. I think I may have made a mortal error by directing us to Saw so early on in the day, as it was that ride that seemed to put him off for the rest of the day. He absolutely loved our first ride on Colossus, and declared that one of his favourites! Me and my dad also had a theory that his sickness feeling may not have been helped by the fact that he decided to forego wearing his glasses for the whole day instead of taking them on and off all day, so he was walking around the park with blurred vision all day. Nonetheless, he just didn’t warm to Thorpe Park at all. He apparently said to my dad that “it seems busy compared to Alton Towers… and I don’t like busy”, and whatever the reason, he just seemed to go off the park and the rides quickly and not warm to them at all. I was sad that he didn’t like it, but he’s never going to like everything and I’m glad that he came and tried it out. I don’t sense he’ll be in a rush to return to Thorpe with us, however!

But overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the day and was glad to both accomplish my aim of getting on Hyperia and hear my grandad’s first time thoughts on Thorpe Park!

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! My next trip report will be coming on 5th September, when I visit Drayton Manor to take my first ever ride on Gold Rush and ride the last of the new for 2024 UK coasters! I can’t wait to try that ride out!

12th August 2024: Pleasurewood Hills

We had our second park day today, visiting the final new park of the trip; Pleasurewood Hills in Lowestoft, Suffolk! I was interested to get into this park and try out attractions such as Cannonball Express, the unique Schwarzkopf, and Wipeout, my first ever Vekoma Boomerang, amongst others!

With our hotel being less than a mile down the road from Pleasurewood Hills, we left at a bit after 9:30am, and after stopping at the nearby Tesco superstore to get some meal deals for lunch, we ended up arriving on Pleasurewood Hills property at around 10am. After quite a few minutes of faff trying to sort out Pleasurewood Hills’ new parking charge app, we ended up entering the park at around 10:15am:

After entering the park, we decided to initially head to a coaster…

Cannonball Express

I’d been advised to knock out Cannonball Express early, so we decided to head there first. This turned out to be prudent advice! We joined a very short-looking queue of only a few people, but due to a rather low throughput of only around 160pph, this ended up taking about 15-20 minutes, and by the time we got off, the queue was almost stretching out of the allocated queue line. I think we dodged a bullet joining that queue as early as we did! But how was the ride? Well, I was interested to ride Cannonball Express, as I’d heard some very good things about it. I was also interested to ride because it was my first non-looping Schwarzkopf coaster, and while I didn’t really rate either of the other two Schwarzkopfs I’ve ridden, I wondered whether I’d like one of their non-looping coasters more. I was seated in the front row, and I’m afraid to say that the answer was not really. Cannonball Express is a rough old beast, isn’t it? Most of the ride seemed to consist of getting bashed around from side to side, and some of the turns and brakes, particularly the brake at the end, were just horribly harsh for me. The layout had some fun turns and helixes, and kind of reminded me of the Pinfari RC40 layout if it had better restraints, but I didn’t think it was anything especially groundbreaking even putting aside the roughness. I think my parents summed it up quite nicely; my mum turned to me and my dad and said “They didn’t build smooth things in the 80s, did they?”, and my dad said to me “I hope you’re not going to call that glass smooth in the trip report”… Overall, then, I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t a huge fan of Cannonball Express, and it reinforced my controversial view that I personally find Schwarzkopf coasters to be wildly overrated, for lack of a better term. I apologise if I sound insensitive to an iconic and unique Schwarzkopf, but I have to be completely honest about these things:

After Cannonball Express, I decided to go on the attraction directly next to it…

Jolly Roger

Jolly Roger was on a practically walk-on queue, so I decided to give it a go. I didn’t wait long at all, and I was on the next cycle, which I can never complain about! So, how was the ride? Well, I’m a fan of a good drop tower, and Jolly Roger was an excellent one! The drop was so fast and punchy, and there was cracking airtime all the way down! I’m a big fan of these Fabbri towers, with Detonator and Venom also sitting highly in my estimations, and I have to say that overall, it’s right up there with them in contention for the title of my favourite UK drop tower. Jolly Roger was excellent, and I thoroughly enjoyed my lap on there:

After Jolly Roger, we steadily ambled over to the other side of the park, and on our way over, we took a detour to ride…

Rootin’ Tootin’ Target Trail

Rootin’ Tootin’ Target Trail was along our route to the other side of Pleasurewood Hills, so we decided to give it a whirl on our way by. The queue was short here, at only around 5 minutes, so we got onto the ride promptly. So, how was it? Well, I have to say that I thought it was quite good fun; for what it was, I thought it was a perfectly fun little dark ride! There was some nice theming in there, and despite me not being very good at interactive dark rides in general, I found the shooting system easy to use and very self-explanatory! One marginally disappointing aspect, however, is that you didn’t seem to be able to view your score at any point. There was no way of viewing it during the ride, and we couldn’t find how to view our score at the end after getting off, so for the competitive among us (which my dad certainly is!), you’re unable to get the payoff of finding out what you scored at the end. Nonetheless, this didn’t really matter ultimately, and it was still a fun dark ride:

After getting off Rootin’ Tootin’ Target Trail, we headed over to the next coaster…

Wipeout

Wipeout was practically walk on, so me and my mum decided to give it a go. I was interested to try Wipeout, as somehow, I’d made it 121 coasters into the hobby without ever encountering a traditional Vekoma Boomerang. So “the tallest and fastest coaster in East Anglia” was an interesting introduction to this ubiquitous ride model! But how was my first ever Boomerang? Well, I’m afraid to say that while an impressive ride for the space it takes up, I wasn’t really a fan of Wipeout, and my mum seemed to agree. It was just very rough for me, with the backwards portion being particularly awkward and uncomfortable, and I came off with a banging headache and shoulders. Shuttle coasters aren’t an absolute favourite ride style of mine to begin with, and when you combine that with the roughness, I’m sorry to say that I didn’t really rate Wipeout:

After Wipeout, we decided to head around to the final coaster of the day…

Egg-Spress

Egg-Spress was walk-on, so we waltzed onto the ride swiftly and took our seats on the very back row. So, how was the ride? Well, my dad said to me before we dispatched “With what we all thought of Cannonball and what you and mum said about Wipeout, I think this could well end up being the best coaster here”. And you know, I honestly think my dad was right! As family coasters go, I have a little soft spot for these Zierer Tivoli coasters, and as per usual for the ride type, Egg-Spress was quite good fun, with some fun helixes and some surprising whip towards the back of the train! There were also some nice near misses with the trees! However, I must admit that it definitely seemed a little rougher than usual for one of these coasters, and with me and my dad crammed in a car together, it did get a bit fierce at times! Nonetheless, Egg-Spress was still a pleasant enough coaster for what it was, and probably the most enjoyable of the day for me:

After Egg-Spress, my parents sat down briefly while I went for another lap on there while it was still walk on. As with the first, it was fun enough, but I slid around a lot more, as I was sat on my own!

After my second ride on Egg-Spress, me and my parents headed over to do something slightly different…

Sea Lion Splash

It was coming up to the 12pm showing of Sea Lion Splash, so we decided to head down to the theatre for a watch. By this point in the day, the sun was really beating down, so it got quite hot while we were sat watching the show! In terms of the show itself; I thought it was quite good fun, with lots of informative information about sea lions and seals, and the sea lions looked happy on stage. However, I must confess that while the sea lions were never forced to participate and looked happy, I felt that the ethics of them doing tricks with balls and such in this day and age was questionable. I’m aware that animals performing for entertainment is a contentious topic, so I’ll leave it there:

After watching Sea Lion Splash, we went to find some shade and eat our packed lunch. Despite it only being around 12:30pm at this point, we quickly realised that we’d sort of run out of things to do at Pleasurewood, so I closed out my time there by taking two final back-to-back rides on Jolly Roger. Once again, both were excellent; the airtime and speed were sublime, the forces were wonderful, and it was overall a top-drawer drop tower! It was without question the highlight of the park for me:

After my back-to-back rides on Jolly Roger, we left Pleasurewood Hills for the day, content with our time in the park despite it only being around 1pm:

With us having exited the park at 1pm and spent less time in there than we’d expected, we found ourselves at somewhat of a loose end for the afternoon, so we decided to head into the town of Lowestoft itself.

We firstly visited Ness Point, the easternmost point of the UK. It was cool to come here, stand in the easternmost part of the country and see the sea views, but I must admit that I’m surprised it wasn’t more of an “attraction” so to speak; it was very hidden, in the back of an industrial estate, with nothing of note around it:

After our brief visit to Ness Point, we decided to head down to Lowestoft South Beach and have a stroll along the seafront of Lowestoft, getting an ice cream while we were there. I tried the Honeycomb Caramel Swirl flavour of Kelly’s ice cream today after having the Salted Caramel flavour in Great Yarmouth yesterday, and it was very tasty:

After that, we got back in the car and headed back to the hotel, thus ending our day.

So, that wraps up my day at Pleasurewood Hills, as well as the detour we took to Lowestoft afterwards! I had an  enjoyable day; I enjoyed seeing Pleasurewood Hills and what it had to offer for the first time, and I enjoyed getting on some new rides! My highlight was definitely Jolly Roger; I love a good drop tower, and Jolly Roger was an excellent one!

In terms of Pleasurewood Hills itself; it’s an odd one to review, and I’d say I was slightly underwhelmed overall, if I’m being honest. My expectations were calibrated to something along the lines of an East Coast equivalent of Oakwood Theme Park in Wales, and after visiting, it kind of matched that expectation in some ways, exceeded it in some and fell short in others.

In all fairness, it’s not a badly kept park in places; parts of it look really nice and colourful and clean, and they’re clearly making an ongoing effort to spruce parts of it up. Areas such as the bit by the log flume, the sea lion show and the shooting dark ride look quite nice, my first impression upon entering was quite positive, and some of the other rides like the safari and the horse ride looked quite new and well maintained. There seems to be a bit more of this effort than there is at Oakwood, and if it continues, I can see the whole park beginning to look really nice in the years to come.

However, what I would say is that other significant parts of Pleasurewood Hills, possibly more so than any other park I’ve ever visited including Oakwood, looked quite decrepit and frankly abandoned. I could see notable areas with old, decaying husks of rides stood crumbling away, there was a massive castle theatre that looked completely abandoned, there was some amphitheatre that looked completely abandoned and overgrown, the bird show theatre looked shuttered and like it hadn’t operated in some time, and there were also quite a few shops and food outlets closed. The feeling of decrepitude in portions is very similar to the last time I went to Oakwood, but even Oakwood didn’t seem to have quite so many blatantly abandoned areas. Hopefully the ongoing efforts in aesthetics from the Looping Group will see this rectified in time, and I’m sure it will, but right now, the abandoned areas don’t give off the greatest impression.

The other critique I would raise is that for our demographic, we didn’t think there was a huge amount to do at Pleasurewood, and there was nothing there that would really make us want to make specific effort to return, if I’m being honest. One significant strong area of Oakwood, for comparison, is its roller coaster hardware, and for me, both Megafobia and Speed are leaps and bounds ahead of any individual coaster at Pleasurewood Hills and comfortably beat Cannonball Express and Wipeout as a duo of headline coasters. Jolly Roger was an excellent drop tower for me, as someone who likes a good drop tower, but I’m quite a big coaster person in terms of what draws me to parks. And coasters-wise, I think Pleasurewood lacked a real headline draw that would make me want to specifically return there, if I’m being finicky. Nothing there held a candle to Megafobia or even Speed, in my view. With that being said, I would say that we may not have been the ideal demographic to visit; it seemed like the sort of park that you might get more out of if you were visiting with young children, so do bear that in mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my time at Pleasurewood Hills and I’m glad I came to see it, but if I’m being honest, it’s not a park I think I’d make specific effort to return to any time soon in the absence of new major investment, particularly given how far away from the park I live. I may not have given it a fair chance, I may have been overly finicky, and I apologise if it comes across that way, but that’s how I honestly felt.

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report, and the reports from this wider trip! I think we’re just going to be heading straight home tomorrow, so the chances of me writing a report are pretty slim, but if we do stop anywhere interesting on the way home, I’ll write about it! Chances are, though, that my next trip report will be coming on Sunday, when I head back to Thorpe Park for my first ever ride on Hyperia! I can’t wait to get on that coaster; I’ve heard insanely good things about it!

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; today, me, my mum and my dad set off for our trip to East Anglia! I’ve never been to any of the parks in the region, and to be honest, me and my mum had never actually visited East Anglia full stop (unless Watford and Stansted Airport count, being part of what the ONS technically considers “the East of England”…). My dad had been to Great Yarmouth once back in the 1980s, when he still lived in Kent, but even for him, the area was relatively new. I was interested to get to some of the more major UK parks I hadn’t been to, and possibly the most significant place in the UK for theme parks I hadn’t been to, and I was excited to see what some of East Anglia’s finest parks had to offer!

We weren’t originally sure if we were going to visit a park today, as our original plan was to saunter steadily down to the area, see how the drive went, and maybe do Joyland, the smaller of the two Great Yarmouth parks, if the drive wasn’t too bad. However, we changed tack at the last minute and decided to try and tackle both of the parks in Great Yarmouth today, as my mum and dad were daunted by the thought of the long drive home and felt that we may not necessarily be keen to do anything on Tuesday with the drive ahead of us afterwards.

With this in mind, we set off early from our home in Gloucestershire, leaving at around 8am, and after a perfectly clean run (it was an absolutely idyllic drive in terms of traffic, and surprisingly, no one needed to stop for the toilet either!), we arrived in Great Yarmouth 4.5 hours later, at around 12:30pm, and parked up. After a brief stroll down the seafront from the car park, we headed to our first theme park of the day; Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach:

After getting our Fun Cards and heading in, we decided to go to the park’s principal draw first…

Roller Coaster

Roller Coaster was the principal draw of Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach for us and had a relatively short-looking queue, so we decided to give it a go. Even with a one-train service, the queue only took around 15 minutes; I can’t really complain about that! On a side note, I have to say that I found the boarding and sending process on Roller Coaster interesting; I’ve never seen a coaster pushed out of the station before, and they didn’t even need to check our lap bars! But how was the ride? Well, it was my first brakeman-operated coaster, so I was interested to see how it rode. I was seated in the very back row, and I have to say, I found it rather enjoyable! Yes, it’s nothing particularly mind-blowing on the world stage or by modern standards, but it’s a decades-old heritage woodie. For what it is, I thought it was a really pleasant, fun coaster! It’s definitely not a particularly intense ride and does peter out a bit in places, but it was smooth for a woodie of its age, it was a really long ride, it had some surprising airtime in places (which was accentuated by the loose lap bar design), and on the whole, I just found it a very pleasant and charming coaster! I felt that the whole thing just had a certain charm about it that made me smile and made the ride a very pleasant ride to just exist on, and sit back and enjoy the sensations of a wooden roller coaster on, if you get my drift. Overall, then, I thought the Roller Coaster was a really nice, enjoyable coaster, and I certainly found my lap on there pleasant:

After our ride on Roller Coaster, me and my mum went to ride the next coaster the park had to offer…

Family Star

Family Star was on a short queue, so me and my mum decided to take a ride. I very much know the drill with these spinning wild mouse coasters, and I’m not a fan of them at all having ridden 7 of the ubiquitous Reverchon models, but I was mildly interested to try Family Star, as I’ve never done one of the Fabbri models before and I was interested to see how it compared. So, how was the ride? Well, I’m afraid to say that I possibly found Family Star worse than its Reverchon siblings, which is quite impressive! It span from the get go rather than being unlocked halfway through, which I found interesting, but I found it more uncomfortable than the Reverchons for two reasons. Firstly, there was a really awkward seat divider that I kept getting smacked against around the corners, and secondly, it had some of the most awful sharp braking I’ve ever encountered, rivalling the now defunct Sand Serpent at Busch Gardens Tampa! To give credit where credit is due, however, I thought the operations were really decent on here for a park of this calibre. They had 5 cars on, and they were getting them sent out in not much over 30 seconds, which I think is pretty good for a park of Great Yarmouth’s calibre! In terms of the ride, though, I’m afraid to say that I wasn’t a fan at all. My mum wasn’t either; she turned to me during the ride and said “Matthew, how on Earth do you find this even vaguely enjoyable?”:

After Family Star, me and my dad decided to go for a dark ride detour…

Haunted Hotel

Haunted Hotel had a nigh-on non-existent queue, so me and my dad decided to give it a go. After two coasters, we thought it might be fun to try something different, and I’d heard good things about Haunted Hotel. But how was the ride? Well, I thought it was reasonably decent for a seaside ghost train in a park of this calibre! It wasn’t particularly scary in terms of jumpscares, but I didn’t mind that, not being a huge fan of horror, and I thought that some of the sets and effects were quite decent for one of these seaside ghost trains! Overall, then, I thought Haunted Hotel was quite an enjoyable ghost train:

After Haunted Hotel, we met back up with my mum and found a shady corner to eat our packed lunch in before I headed off to go and try a flat ride…

Sky Drop

I am a fan of a good drop tower, so I decided to give Sky Drop a spin. The queue was walk-on, and I waltzed straight into my seat on there; you can never complain about a walk-on ride! But how was the ride? Well, it didn’t exactly give Venom, Detonator or the late Apocalypse a run for their money in terms of UK drop towers, but for more of a family thrill drop tower, I thought Sky Drop was great fun! It packed reasonable force in its drops and launches, and it also had a really long cycle, and offered great views across Great Yarmouth! As a drop tower fan, I definitely came off it with a smile on my face, and for a more family thrill drop tower, I thought it absolutely hit the nail on the head! It had really good forces and a long cycle, and was just great fun for a family drop tower; I’d definitely take it over the SBF models like Croc Drop and Magma, personally:

After Sky Drop, I decided to head to another coaster that was on a walk-on queue…

Whirlwind

I was sceptical about whether Whirlwind would be too much of a kiddie coaster for my liking, as I don’t generally ride kiddie coasters, but it didn’t look too bad in person. It was also walk-on and had no one in line, so I thought I may as well give it a whirl! So, how was it? Well, I’ve surprisingly never done one of these figure-8 SBF spinning coasters before, despite how common they are, and I thought it was it was, really. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but I didn’t find it particularly offensive either; it was just a profoundly average small coaster that didn’t have any significant detractors, but didn’t have a huge amount going for it either. On a side note, though, they give you a really long cycle on this; my mum counted that I got 6 laps on this coaster, which is obscene:

After Whirlwind, I met back up with my parents, and me and my mum went to do something that I never thought I’d do…

Big Apple Coaster

Prior to our arrival at Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach, I did not think I would do this coaster. As I explained above, I don’t generally do kiddie coasters. However, my mother kindly offered to do it with me, and perhaps surprisingly, I dare say she possibly encouraged me to do it; when I said that I’d ruled this coaster out as it was a kiddie coaster, my mum’s words were “Who the f*** cares if you want to ride a kiddie coaster? I’ll go on it with you… besides, the website describes it as “family” and not “kiddie”!”. The ride was also walk-on, with space left on the train, so I thought “oh, what the hell!” and decided to finally lose my wacky worm virginity! I long thought that this day would never come, and I told myself for years that it would never come after an embarrassing experience on Octonauts at Alton Towers put me off doing kiddie coasters, but I must admit that being sat in that caterpillar train and rattling through that fibreglass apple for the first time, 117 coasters into the hobby, did feel like somewhat of a (marginally tragic) watershed moment! Anyway, that’s besides the point; how was my first ever wacky worm? Well, I thought it was perfectly OK, as kiddie coasters go! Similarly to Whirlwind above, it was nothing spectacular, but nothing particularly offensive either; it was profoundly average for a kiddie coaster. The trains were extremely tight, however; I, despite not exactly being astoundingly tall at 5’10”, felt very crammed in, and even my mother at only 5’3” had to sit sideways to get her legs behind the seat… you can definitely tell it’s designed for children, let’s put it that way! On a side note, I did find this particular wacky worm to have some fun historical value, as it used to reside at Alton Towers, a park very near and dear to me; mum and dad both looked at it and instantly said that they remembered it from Alton!:

After riding Big Apple, we met back up with my dad and decided to leave Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach at that point and take a walk down the seafront of Great Yarmouth. We had only been in the park for around 1.5 hours, but we felt quite satisfied with what we’d done in that time and didn’t feel like we needed any longer in the park:

After around 20 minutes, our little stroll along the seafront eventually took us to our second park of the day; Joyland Children’s Fun Park. I was interested to try some of the unique rides on offer here, such as Tyrolean Tubtwist and the iconic Snails:

We entered Joyland and got some tokens, and unlike in Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach, my parents had no intention of riding anything in Joyland, so I went on everything in there entirely alone (this tidbit of information may be relevant later…). After getting my tokens, I decided to head to the ride that was nearest to the token machine, and the one that’s known as the park’s real icon…

Snails

The Snails were on a short queue and were near to the token machine, so I decided I might as well give them a go first. I was interested to try the Snails, as it’s the park’s main iconic attraction, it’s really unique, and I was told that I had to give them a go if I went to Great Yarmouth. So, how did I find the Snails? Well, I have to say that I thought they were really quite cute and charming; the little dips were good fun, and the whole thing just oozed vintage charm! However, I must admit that I found the experience quite embarrassing. I felt like a bit of an idiot riding the snail on my own as I went past the path and people were looking at me, and being sat there while the ride host personally took my picture with a camera at the end did not help matters… that’s my problem, though, and if looking purely at my own personal enjoyment of the Snails, I thought it was a really cute and charming attraction, and I was really glad to take a spin on this Joyland icon:

After the Snails, I decided to head to my first coaster at Joyland…

Spook Express

Spook Express was on a short queue, so I decided to give it a go. Similarly to on the Snails, I felt excruciatingly awkward while the ride host stood there with a camera and told me to “do a big smile!” while they personally took my picture, and it did not help matters that I was the only adult on a train full of small children… if you’ve ever seen Elf, I felt a bit like Will Ferrell in that scene where he’s awkwardly sat in a classroom with all the tiny elves! Putting that aside, however, how was the ride? Well, I thought it was quite decent for a kiddie coaster! It was smooth, the helixes were surprisingly fast, the darkness added a fun element, and all in all, I thought it was quite an enjoyable kiddie coaster as kiddie coasters go, and probably a level above either of the two small coasters I did over at Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach:

After Spook Express, I decided to tick off my final ride in Joyland…

Tyrolean Tubtwist

Tyrolean Tubtwist was on a walk-on queue, so I decided to take a ride on it. I was quite excited to give Tyrolean Tubtwist a go; it’s such a unique coaster, being the only Virginia Reel coaster left in the world, and I’ve often heard it recommended as a charming hidden gem. But how did I find the ride? Well, I’ll start with a positive spin; it’s certainly different. It’s extremely unique, quite unlike anything else I’ve ever ridden and I’m glad I managed to do this piece of history once. I’m delaying talking about the ride itself, because I don’t want to hurt the feelings of the many people who love it, think it’s a hidden gem and have nostalgia for it… but if I’m being honest, uniqueness is where the positives end for me, because I’m so sorry to say that I absolutely hated this coaster. I thought it was absolutely vile, and it’s right down there as one of my least favourite coasters I’ve ever ridden. In fact, I think it may honestly be my least favourite coaster, usurping the likes of Infusion and Hero. I appreciate that that’s a very controversial opinion, and certainly not one I expected to hold, but I’d genuinely struggle to think of a coaster I enjoyed less, so hear me out for a second. For starters, the ride is pretty rough around the corners, but that’s not the main thing that did it for me. It was a definite detractor, but I could have put up with that to some extent; the roughness in isolation was not what made me hate it so much. The main thing that did it for me was that it was so, so spinny; far, far too spinny for my personal liking. I do not have a terribly high tolerance for spinning (I can take a bit, but not loads), and Tyrolean Tubtwist is by far the most sickeningly spinny coaster I have ever ridden, usurping any of the spinning wild mice I’ve ridden by a good margin. When I got off, my head was spinning like mad and I genuinely couldn’t walk in a straight line, and my mum almost had to marshal me down the exit stairs so I didn’t fall down them. I felt really quite sick for quite a bit afterwards, and that ride was right up there along with Air Race at Drayton Manor as being one of the only rides where I’ve ever felt like I might be physically sick upon getting off. I know I probably sound like a right baby, I’m sorry if I sound dramatic, and I’m sorry if I seem disrespectful of this piece of history that a lot of people love, but I will always be honest about these things, and as disappointed as I was about it, no coaster has ever made me feel as vile as Tyrolean Tubtwist did, when you combine the sickening degree of spinning with the fact that the ride was also quite rough. I did, however, wonder if me riding alone made some difference to the level of spin; I know weighting does often make a difference on these spinning coasters.

(I realise I did not take a photo of Tyrolean Tubtwist… sorry about that!)

After my ride on Tyrolean Tubtwist, I needed a minute to recover and my parents thought I looked I did, so we took a sedate, steady stroll back to the car, having completed all the parks I was hoping to do. After I’d recovered a little, we did get an ice cream along our journey; I had a salted caramel ice cream, and it was delicious! Eventually, we got back to the car and bade Great Yarmouth goodbye, heading to our hotel 10 minutes down the road in Lowestoft. We may have finished with both parks in less than 3 hours, including the walks, but I felt satisfied with my afternoon in Great Yarmouth:

So, that just about wraps up my day in Great Yarmouth visiting Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach and Joyland Children’s Fun Park for the first time! I had a really enjoyable day overall; I always enjoy going to new parks and getting some new credits, and it was really interesting to see the parks of Great Yarmouth for the first time! In terms of a key highlight; my favourite ride of the day was definitely the Roller Coaster. I thought it was a really pleasant, fun coaster, and I enjoyed getting on my first ever brakeman-operated coaster!

In terms of the individual parks; I had a fun time and enjoyed visiting them. I think both do really well for that they are and hit their target audience nicely. However, I thought Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach, aside from the Roller Coaster, felt more like Brean Theme Park than Blackpool Pleasure Beach in terms of vibe; there is some fun stuff there, but most of it is quite generic travelling rides that I could find in any small UK park or funfair, including parks far more local to me like Brean and Barry Island. It was good fun, I enjoyed my time there, and I think they do a good job at the park for what it is, but given I live 250 miles, and a 4.5 hour drive on a very good run, away, I think it lacks sufficient draws for me to want to specifically revisit in the absence of new major investment. I’m sorry if this makes me sound finicky, but given how far from Great Yarmouth I live, I felt it was a point I should raise.

Joyland down the promenade oozes charm, packs an impressive amount into the small space it has to work with, and has some really unique attractions. It’s a very cute park, and I’m glad I went to try these attractions out! However, I’ll be honest and say that riding these made me remember why I don’t normally do kiddie coasters, as I did feel a bit embarrassed. That’s entirely my problem, though, and I think the park works really well for a seaside children’s park in Great Yarmouth; it’s very charming!

With all that being said, I did enjoy my first ever trip to the parks of Great Yarmouth. I’m glad I came, I was satisfied with the day and there is some fun stuff here. I apologise for ending the report on such a picky and likely snobby-sounding note; I didn’t mean to make it sound as though I didn’t enjoy my day, as I did really enjoy my day and I enjoyed experiencing the parks for the first time!

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! Look out for another report tomorrow, when I make my first ever trip to Pleasurewood Hills in Lowestoft! It’ll be an interesting day; I’m excited to ride things like Cannonball Express and Jolly Roger, and I’ll also be interested to lose my virginity on another common coaster type in the good old Vekoma Boomerang, with Wipeout being my first ever ride on this ubiquitous coaster model!

28th July 2024: Alton Towers

Hi guys. Today, I returned to Alton Towers for a revisit after receiving a free return ticket following our weak visit to Alton After Dark back in March. Another visit to Alton Towers is not exactly anything new for me (today was my 43rd day at the park in total and my 3rd day this year), but one aspect was new for me… despite having visited Alton Towers so much over the years, today was my first time ever spending a solo day alone at the park! With my dad attending the nearby LIV Golf event at JCB in Rocester, he dropped me off at the park in the morning and picked me up in the evening, and I spent the rest of the day alone, which was a novelty for me at Alton Towers!

With my dad unable to enter LIV Golf until 12pm, we left our home in Gloucestershire at just before 8:30am and arrived at Alton Towers at just before 11am. Getting my free revisit redeemed was quick and easy, and I was in the park by 11:10am:

After getting into the park, I headed towards Dark Forest for my first ride…

Thirteen

I was originally going to go on Rita with a 20 minute advertised queue, but this had risen to 45 minutes by the time I reached Dark Forest. As such, I instead decided to try Thirteen, which also had a 45 minute advertised queue and was a ride I didn’t go on in March. Shortly after I joined, the queue time was re-announced as 60 minutes and ended up taking 55 minutes, so was perhaps marginally understated when I initially joined. That’s enough about the queue, though; how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 4, and it was great fun! I do rather enjoy Thirteen, and today was no exception; the outdoor section had some fun twists and the odd pop of airtime or two and seemed to pack fair speed, and that drop track and backwards section are always a laugh! Overall, then, Thirteen was great fun, and an excellent way to start off the day:

After my ride on Thirteen, I decided to head to a favourite of mine in X-Sector…

Oblivion

Oblivion was on an advertised 25 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride on it. There was an interesting happening while I was waiting for Oblivion in that a shuttle stopped on the lift hill briefly, and a staff member had to head up and press some buttons to get it going again; it was interesting to see this, and the problem was resolved in under 5 minutes! The queue ended up taking a little longer than advertised, ultimately taking 40 minutes, but I imagine that the stoppage may have played a role in this. So, how was the ride? Well, I absolutely love Oblivion, and today was no exception! Today’s ride was absolutely fantastic; smooth, full of sustained airtime, and so, so fast! I can still never quite believe the sheer speed the ride picks up in that tunnel; it’s Alton’s fastest coaster, and it certainly feels it! All in all, then, Oblivion was absolutely fantastic; it was great to get back on:

After my awesome ride on Oblivion, I decided to head to the other coaster in the area…

The Smiler

The Smiler was on an advertised 45 minute queue, so I decided to give it a go. As I was visiting solo, however, I had a secret weapon I could use… the single rider queue! This has often saved me significant time when queueing for The Smiler, so I decided to take a gamble on it. The gamble did not pay off as much as it has in the past, as I waited 25 minutes, but I still saved 20 minutes compared to the advertised queue time, so I can’t really complain! But how was the ride? Well, I was allocated the back row, and I’m sorry to say that it was the weakest ride I’ve had on Smiler in a good while. I really want to like Smiler more than I do, but I’m afraid to say that despite its grandeur and impressive engineering, I just don’t particularly care for it. Today’s ride was pretty rough and rattly, and I was also really stapled in by the OTSR by the end, meaning that by the end, my thighs, shoulders and neck were all feeling somewhat worse for wear. Smiler is an impressive ride, and it has some good elements, but I’m afraid I wasn’t a massive fan of it today:

After my ride on The Smiler, I decided to head over to the other side of the park, taking a dark ride detour on my way over…

The Curse at Alton Manor

The Curse at Alton Manor was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to have a go on it. The queue time board was true to its word, as the queue was very short indeed; I think 5 minutes was a pessimistic estimate! I was interested to have another go on Alton Manor, as I‘d only actually ridden it once previously, 1 week after it opened in 2023. So, how was it? Well, I think it was a pretty good run in terms of effects; with the glaring exception of the Trommel Tunnel, pretty much everything worked! They’ve also done a few nice enhancements in there since my last ride! In terms of my overall thoughts on Alton Manor, these are largely unchanged compared to my initial ride in March 2023; I think it’s a nice overhaul of Duel, and it overall works well, but I don’t think it‘s perfect and I do perhaps find it slightly overhyped. As someone who’s not a huge fan of horror, I also find it a bit jumpy and overwhelming in places, even if I didn’t find the ride overall too bad in this regard. Nonetheless, I overall enjoyed my ride on Alton Manor; it was running very well in terms of effects, and I enjoyed some of the enhancements since my initial ride:

After my ride on Alton Manor, I headed onto my next coaster…

Nemesis Reborn

Nemesis was on an advertised 15 minute queue, so I decided that was an opportunity too good to pass up! If anything, this 15 minute queue was overstated, as I only waited around 10 minutes; it’s great when that happens! So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 6, and it was absolutely excellent! The ride was fast, wonderfully forceful without being too forceful and also very smooth and comfortable (I personally find the much debated rattle largely benign; it doesn’t even come close to affecting my enjoyment, and I hardly notice it for the most part)! Having Nemesis back in the lineup has made me remember just what a cracking coaster it is; the layout design is so original, and I absolutely love some of those sequences of elements! Overall, then, I absolutely loved my ride on Nemesis; it was absolutely fantastic:

After my ride on Nemesis, I sat down and ate my packed lunch for a few minutes. After that, I decided to go for another ride on Nemesis straight away; I thought that one of my favourite Alton coasters on a queue less than 15 minutes was an opportunity too good to pass up! I was seated in row 4 this time, and the ride was once again excellent, providing a highly thrilling and rerideable experience!

After my ride on Nemesis, I headed over to Galactica, which had an advertised queue time of 15 minutes that looked even shorter. I was anticipating another very quick ride, but Galactica unfortunately broke down when I was just outside the station. I waited it out for 5-10 minutes, but it didn’t look as though the situation was improving, so I bailed and exited the queue after that:

After bailing on Galactica, I decided to take a 3rd ride on Nemesis Reborn, which was still on a very short advertised queue of only 15 minutes. I was seated in row 3 this time, and the ride was once again absolutely awesome! I know this completely defies all logic, but I swear that Nemesis Reborn feels more intense towards the front of the train:

After my reride on Nemesis, I took a route I don’t usually take and took the Lakeside Walk through The Gardens. This is a surprisingly excellent shortcut to the other side of the park, and the scenery is lovely!

After taking this walk, I then headed back over to Oblivion, which had an advertised queue time of 20 minutes. The queue turned out to be under 15 minutes and later became only around 5 minutes, so I had not one, not two, not three, but four consecutive rerides on Oblivion! As with my ride earlier, all of these rerides were absolutely excellent; the raw sense of speed in that tunnel is unrivalled, and the airtime is wonderful! To make things even better, I had some wonderfully loose restraints on these rides, so I really flew out of my seat over the drop!:

After my wonderful riding session on Oblivion, I headed over to a coaster I hadn’t yet done that had just reopened following an earlier bout of downtime…

Rita

Rita was on an advertised 15 minute queue, so as I hadn’t done it yet, I decided to give it a go. This 15 minute queue turned out to be overstated, as I found myself in the air gates of row 2 merely 5 minutes after joining. It’s always great when that happens! So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that I actually quite like Rita, for all my sins. Yes, it’s no Stealth, but I think it’s a really solid coaster, with an awesome hydraulic launch and some cracking ejector airtime! It’s not the most comfortable coaster in terms of restraints, which is perhaps exacerbated by the stronger lateral motions than on Stealth, but I also don’t find it overly rough; today’s ride had only a small rattle overall. All in all, I really enjoyed my ride on Rita today; it was a good way to end the day, and I’m glad I went for a ride:

After my ride on Rita, it was just gone 5:30, and my dad was on his way back from JCB to pick me up, so I wandered back to the entrance, bade Alton Towers goodbye for the day and headed out to the drop off zone:

So, that brings my day at Alton Towers today to an end! I had a wonderful day; I liked having my first solo experience at Alton Towers, and I was really happy to get on 12 rides! Given that it was a Sunday in the summer holidays where I didn’t enter the park until 11:10am and stopped riding at 5:30pm, I was absolutely chuffed with 12 rides!

It was a shame that Wicker Man, my favourite ride on park and favourite UK coaster, was closed following its fiery incident on Friday, and having some rides on that would have been the cherry on top, but its absence didn’t detract from the day and I still had an absolutely amazing day regardless! In terms of specific highlights; it would have to go to Oblivion and Nemesis. Of the coasters I rode today, those two were easily my favourites; I loved getting multiple rides on both, and both of them are comfortably among the finest coasters in the UK, in my view. It was also good to get back on some of the other rides, and overall, I just had a thoroughly brilliant day at Alton Towers today!

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! My next report will be coming in just 2 weeks’ time, when I head to East Anglia for my first ever visits to Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach, Pleasurewood Hills and Joyland, so stay tuned for that!

Hi guys. When you go to a park, you will often see advertised queue times all over the place to help you determine how long the ride queues are. But sometimes, you might find that these do not necessarily tell the truth. At times, you might get in a queue with a reasonable advertised time and wait far longer than expected, and at other times, you might get in a queue with a long advertised time and wait far less than expected. With this in mind, you might be wondering; how accurate actually are these advertised queue times? Can they be relied upon? Or are they largely hokum?

Well, dear reader, that is the question I'm aiming to answer today. Through the power of statistics, I am going to work out; how accurate are advertised queue times? 

Let's firstly start with the methodology of my statistical analysis...

Methodology

You might be wondering "Matt, how on Earth are you going to get hold of advertised and actual queue time data to conduct this analysis?". Well, the answer to that is that I had an idea... for years, I've been writing trip reports from various theme parks, and within these, I often make reference to the advertised queue time and how it compared to the actual queue time. And I was thinking that I could use my anecdotes from some of these trip reports as samples for the analysis. Yes, there's finally a day where my comparisons of advertised and actual queue times come in handy!

My method entailed reading my various trip reports from the UK Merlin parks from over the years and looking for anecdotes referring to the advertised queue time in comparison to the actual queue time of a ride. I chose the UK Merlin parks because these are where I have by far the most data from, and they are also likely to share similar technology, processes and the like for determining advertised queue times, which removes any uncertainty from working with companies with differing processes.

I should note that I did not count every time I went on a ride. I only counted rides where there was one of:

• An explicit comparison between advertised queue time and actual queue time given.
• A comparison between advertised queue time and actual queue time that heavily hinted towards the actual queue time given. For instance, words like "walk-on" or "I waltzed straight onto the train" would infer a 0 minute actual queue time, and words like "the queue time board stayed true to its word" would infer no discrepancy between the advertised and actual queue times.

There were rides I did not count, as I felt that they would not be representative of the actual main queue. These are:

• Any time where I talk about using a Single Rider Queue or otherwise benefitting considerably from single rider status (such as being called to walk past a long queue to fill an empty seat).
• Any time where I talk about using Fastrack or similar.
• Any time where I talk about waiting longer for a specific experience, such as the front row.

Through these rules, I was able to gather:

• 15 days and 75 rides of data from Alton Towers, dating back as far as 23rd June 2019
• 9 days and 48 rides of data from Thorpe Park, dating back as far as 6th May 2018.
• 3 days and 9 rides of data from Legoland Windsor, dating back as far as 31st August 2017.
• 1 day and 3 rides of data from Chessington, from 17th September 2023.

I should also give a few caveats. These are:

• This is my data and mine only. There are multiple reasons why that means that it may not be a fully representative sample. For example, Chessington and Legoland are under-represented, whereas Alton Towers and Thorpe Park are over-represented.
• The actual level of understatement may be higher than what this analysis suggests, as this only factors in queues I have personally waited in. If a queue looks vastly understated at first glance, there's a good chance I won't join it.
• Where I provided a range of time for the actual queue length, I went with the upper bound. For example, if I described a queue as taking 20-25 minutes, I logged the actual queue time as 25 minutes.
• I should strongly emphasise that this is not a massively exact science. The measurement of actual queue time was me looking at my watch throughout the queue, and for a variety of reasons, the movement of a queue can be affected in ways that the advertised time can't account for.

With this out of the way, let's move onto the actual meat of the analysis...

For each part of the analysis, I'll look at an individual park, as well as all 4 Merlin parks amalgamated together. For the individual park, I picked Alton Towers, as this is the park for which I have the most data.

Let's start with a simple correlation analysis to determine the strength of the relationship between advertised queue time and actual queue time...

Correlation

For those not aware, the correlation between two variables determines whether or not they are inter-related. The magnitude of a correlation lies between 0 and 1, with 0 indicating no correlation and 1 indicating a perfect strong correlation, and a correlation can also be positive or negative. A positive correlation means that as the value of one variable rises, the value of the other rises in unison, while a negative correlation means that as the value of one variable rises, the value of the other falls.

Now that I've explained a bit about correlation, let's have a look at what the data says about the correlation between advertised queue time and actual queue time! I'll consider two different correlation coefficients, Pearson and Spearman. Pearson's correlation coefficient assumes a linear relationship between two variables, whereas Spearman's correlation coefficient does not.

If we look at Alton Towers on an individual level, the scatter graph of advertised queue time and actual queue time looks something like this:

And the correlation figures are as follows:

Whereas if we look at the UK Merlin parks overall, the scatter graph of advertised queue times versus actual queue times is as follows:

And the correlation figures are as follows:

So if we look at correlation, I think we can conclude that there is a relationship between advertised queue time and actual queue time. Based on correlation alone, we can infer that on a general level, there is a moderate-to-strong correlation between advertised and actual queue time, so if the advertised queue time increases, you can generally expect actual queue time to increase along with it. However, the correlation is far from a perfect positive correlation, so this will not be the case in every scenario. In fact, the fact that the positive correlation does not even quite breach the threshold of "strong" (which I was told was 0.75) would suggest that this is not always the case by a long shot, and the relationship is far from perfectly proportional.

So in general, the correlation analysis would suggest that the advertised queue times are trustworthy to a broad extent to get a gauge of the broader picture, but perhaps with a notable margin of error for exact figures.

Let's now look at the average discrepancy...

Discrepancy (Vector)

Let's now look at the average discrepancy as a vector quantity. Vector quantities have both magnitude and direction, so this form of discrepancy will consider whether the queue is overstated or understated as well as its actual magnitude. Where the queue is overstated, the discrepancy is negative, whereas the discrepancy is positive where the queue is understated.

If we firstly look at Alton Towers on an individual level, here are the boxplots showing the ranges of raw and proportional discrepancies respectively. It's important to consider proportional discrepancy because if an advertised queue time is longer, there's bound to be a larger discrepancy in general:

And the raw and proportional discrepancy stats, as well as average queue time, are as follows. Both mean and median values are provided, as each metric has flaws in isolation and I felt that showing both offered maximum transparency:

I should clarify that Average Proportional Discrepancy is the average of the proportional discrepancies listed alongside each anecdote, which excludes those where the advertised queue time was 0 minutes and the actual queue time was a different number (you cannot divide a non-zero number by 0, so a percentage proportion cannot be provided). Adjusted Average Proportional Discrepancy is a simpler calculation of Average Raw Discrepancy as a share of Average Advertised Queue Time on an overall basis, which (sort of) takes these into account.

If we now look at the UK Merlin parks overall, here are the boxplots showing the ranges of raw and proportional discrepancy respectively:

And the raw and proportional discrepancy stats, as well as average advertised queue time, are as follows:

So looking at this, Alton Towers and UK Merlin queue times are understated by up to 1-2 minutes on average.

If we look at the median, that would imply that there's no discrepancy between advertised and actual queue time at all on average, and even the higher mean values infer that there are average discrepancies of less than 10% in some cases. At face value, these stats would give reason to believe that Merlin's advertised queue times are very accurate overall, with an average error of only 1-2 minutes and less than 10%.

However, you should note my use of the term "at face value"... because that's not the full picture. You might remember that earlier, I said about how the discrepancy being shown here is a vector quantity, meaning that it has both magnitude and direction. That means that understated queues have a positive discrepancy value and overstated queues have a negative discrepancy value, so the two balance each other out. So while you'd think that the low average discrepancies shown here mean that the queue times are very accurate... the use of vector discrepancies here mean that all this really shows is that understating and overstating balance each other out quite nicely, meaning that you can't really rely on Merlin parks to understate or overstate their queues. They both understate and overstate to broadly equal extents.

To get the true picture of how accurate these queue times really are, we need to convert the discrepancy values into a scalar quantity and look at the absolute values of discrepancy...

Absolute Discrepancy

To get the true gist of how accurate these queue times really are, let's now look at the absolute discrepancy values. Absolute means that only the magnitude of discrepancy is considered, and that the discrepancy values are scalar quantities rather than vector quantities.

If we firstly look at Alton Towers on an individual level, the boxplots showing the range of raw and proportional absolute discrepancy values are as follows:

And the raw and proportional absolute discrepancy stats, as well as average queue time, are as follows:

If we look at the UK Merlin parks overall, the boxplots showing the ranges of raw and proportional absolute discrepancy are as follows:

And the raw and proportional absolute discrepancy stats, as well as average queue time, are as follows:

So looking at these stats, UK Merlin queue times are wrong by 5-15 minutes on average, and broadly, the average proportional absolute discrepancy ranges between 20% and almost 60%.

This would imply that the advertised queue times are not phenomenally accurate, and may not be 100% correct in terms of the exact figure on average. However, it would suggest that they are still quite good at a more general level to get a general gauge of how long a queue might be. If a queue is advertised at 100 minutes, it's unlikely to be walk-on, and vice versa. These figures suggest that the advertised queue times can generally be used as a broad gauge of the length of the queue, but should not be taken as gospel and the exact figures should be taken with some degree of caution.

Let's now look at some final conclusions...

Conclusion

So in conclusion, how accurate are these advertised queue times? Well, I think these results show that they're overall reasonable as a gauge of the broad ballpark the queue time is likely to fall into, but have somewhat weaker accuracy at determining exact queue times.

In terms of the correlation analysis, the advertised queue time and the actual queue time have a reasonable correlation, but not a perfect one. The two are moderately positively correlated, with a correlation coefficient of around 0.6-0.7, which would suggest that the two variables are broadly related and do increase in unison with one another in general, but this is far from a perfectly proportional increase and is not a perfect rule by any means.

On average, the vector discrepancy between advertised queue time and actual queue time was to be understated by 1-2 minutes, and the percentage margin of error was often to be understated by less than 10%. This suggests that understating and overstating overall happen to roughly equal degrees, and you can't really rely on Merlin to reliably do either.

On average, the absolute discrepancy between advertised queue time and actual queue time was 5-15 minutes, and the percentage margin of error for the advertised queue time was between 20% and 60%. This would suggest that the advertised queue times are rarely 100% accurate and should be treated with a degree of caution and a margin of error, but that they're generally decent as a way of gauging broadly how long a queue will be. If a queue is advertised at 30 minutes, for example, you can assume that it will probably be between about 15 minutes and about 45 minutes. That is quite a wide margin, admittedly, but the advertised queue times are unlikely to be amazingly wrong, on the whole. A 30 minute advertised queue, as an example, would indicate a roughly "middle of the road" queue time with a reasonable degree of reliability; the queue is unlikely to be obscenely short, but it's unlikely to be obscenely long as well.

So in conclusion, I think this analysis suggests that the advertised queue times are decent for getting an idea of broadly how long a queue is likely to be, but are worse at pinpointing the actual exact queue time, and the estimates should be considered with a good margin of error and not taken as exact estimates.

If you'd like to look at my data, here are the full spreadsheets for Alton Towers and UK Merlin queue times respectively:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c2b05czi2xwwDxKRVBMJ9qyB3_-_b0RyMdc-N8n8JJI/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1jpqqpu2pErHY41vHTpDP_NEZqnjuMwgtVVp99JexjvI/edit?usp=sharing

So that brings us to the end of this statistical analysis! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed concocting it, and I hope you found it interesting! I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts; I'm receptive to any feedback, good or bad!

TL;DR: I performed a statistical analysis to try and determine how accurate advertised queue times are, using datasets of advertised vs actual queue times in Alton Towers and the UK Merlin parks taken from my past trip reports. A correlation analysis showed that there was a moderate positive correlation of magnitude 0.6-0.7 between advertised and actual queue time, indicating that they do generally increase in unison, but that this is far from a perfect trend and this is not necessarily a proportional increase. An analysis of average vector discrepancies showed that Merlin parks do not reliably understate or overstate queue times, with both understating and overstating happening to broadly equal degrees. An analysis of average absolute discrepancies showed that the queue times can provide a broad idea of roughly how long a queue may be, but are unlikely to be too accurate at determining the exact queue time.

It was the second day of the trip today, and another day can only mean another park; today, I visited Thorpe Park! Today marked my first visit of 2024 to the UK’s most thrilling theme park, so I was excited to get back on some of my favourites at the park for the first time in 2024!

After my night in the Premier Inn in Staines, my Thorpe day started at a little before 9am, when I took a short walk to Elmsleigh Bus Station in Staines to catch the Sullivan Buses 950, which is probably better known as the Thorpe Park Express bus, to Thorpe Park from stop 4:

Now, I had originally intended to catch the 9:10 service, which arrived at Thorpe Park at 9:20. However, lots of people wanted to get on at my stop and the bus was already extremely crowded. Therefore, I was at the back of the queue from standing aside to let others on first, so I ended up not being allowed on this bus and having to wait for the next bus at 9:25. However, the wait was only 15 minutes, and I still got to Thorpe well before opening, so I can’t complain too much.

When I got on the bus, it had to have been one of most crowded buses I’ve ever been on. The whole walkable area of the bus had patrons standing in it, and I was rubbing shoulder to shoulder with people at the very front of the bus. However, the bus was punctual, ran at a ridiculous frequency (15 minutes between buses is hardly any time at all!), and it got me there, so I can’t really complain! On an odd side note, the card machine on the bus was broken, and the bus driver waved me and others straight through and said "just get on" when I tried to present my bank card to pay for a ticket... so I actually got that bus journey for free!

After getting off the bus, I headed into Thorpe Park itself. By the time I got through security and past the turnstiles, it was around 9:40, so I was still in the park a good amount of time before rope drop even with me having to take a later bus:

Before I get into the main body of my day, I should probably address the main elephant in the room; Hyperia. The ride was one of the main motivations for booking this trip, but in the days leading up to today, I had a bad feeling that it might be closed, and this was unfortunately the case. It was disappointing to not get on the ride today, but I was determined to make the best of the situation and not to let it take away from my day at Thorpe Park. And even if I couldn’t actually ride it, it was quite cool to finally see it in person and see it test a little! It looks awesome; hopefully it can reopen soon:

Anyway, that’s enough about Hyperia. Let me get back to my day at Thorpe Park.

I decided to start my day by heading to the Saw/Colossus end of the park. My original plan was to start things off on Colossus, but the ride was still closed initially, so I instead decided to head down to…

Saw: The Ride

Saw was on an advertised walk-on queue, so I decided to take a ride on it. This queue looked as though it was quickly getting longer than walk-on, but as a solo visitor, I had a secret weapon I could use; the single rider queue! This worked very well indeed, with me getting on the ride in no time at all! So, how was the ride? Well, Saw isn’t an absolute favourite of mine, but I have to say that this morning run was one of the smoothest rides I’ve ever had on it! I was seated on the back, and while it was still a bit rough in places, it was nothing like it has been for me in the past; there wasn’t too much Gerst-ache here! As for the ride layout itself, there was some surprising airtime in places, and I think this might be the first time I’ve ever ridden Saw and had the water effect in the heartline roll actually work! I got very surprisingly wet from that effect! Overall, then, Saw wasn’t running badly at all this morning, and it was an interesting way to start the day:

When I was off Saw: The Ride, I noticed that Colossus was open, so I decided to head over to it…

Colossus

Colossus was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to give it a go. This 5 minute queue time turned out to be overstated, as I waltzed straight into the station and straight onto the back row; you can never complain about that! But how was the ride? Well, it was OK; Colossus isn’t a favourite of mine, but as with Saw earlier, my back row ride on Colossus today was on the much more favourable end of the spectrum. It was a bit rough in places, but not nearly as overbearing as it has been in the past. As for the layout itself; I really like the first half of Colossus, with the loop, cobra roll and two consecutive corkscrews packing a punch and the airtime hill even providing a small pop of airtime on this occasion! However, I’m not a huge lover of the second half, as I find the multiple consecutive heartline rolls a bit nauseating, and I also think the train and restraint design makes Colossus a bit uncomfortable even excluding any roughness. Overall, Colossus, while not a favourite of mine, wasn’t running too badly today:

After getting off Colossus, I decided to head to another major coaster…

Nemesis Inferno

Nemesis Inferno was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to have a go on it. The queue times board was true to its word, as I walked straight into the station; it’s always great when that happens! But how was the ride? Well, I rode in row 3, and I have to say that this morning’s Nemesis Inferno ride was absolutely fantastic, and possibly one of the best I’ve ever had on it! The ride packed such an awesome sense of speed throughout, it was thrilling and had really good forces without being excessively intense, it was smooth, and overall, everything about the ride just clicked! Perhaps controversially, I must admit that I struggle to pick whether I prefer Nemesis Inferno or Nemesis Reborn; it will be a continual struggle, but that morning ride certainly made a strong case for Inferno:

After Nemesis Inferno, I headed to the next coaster…

Stealth

Stealth was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on it. The queue time board was relatively true to its word, with the queue taking around 5-10 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 5, and it was absolutely fantastic! That hydraulic launch is always phenomenal; it really takes your breath away and gets you up to speed ridiculously quickly! Aside from the launch, the ride has many other great attributes; the speed throughout is brilliant, and the airtime over the top hat is also excellent! Overall, then, my ride on Stealth was excellent, and I thoroughly enjoyed it:

After Stealth, my original plan was to head over to The Swarm, on an advertised 10 minute queue. However, the queue was spilling out of the entrance and looking far longer than 10 minutes when I got to the area, so I decided to change course and instead head to...

Rush

Rush was on an advertised 15 minute queue time, so I decided to give it a go. This queue time proved roughly accurate, with the queue taking 10-15 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I'm a fan of a good S&S Screamin' Swing, and Rush is no exception; the speed and weightlessness are awesome! I love the airtime delivered at each peak, and the speed delivered in the troughs provides a real rush! However, I must admit that Rush seemed to be running a slightly underwhelming cycle today, with only one full height swing. I don't know if it's just me misremembering, but it seemed like it did more on previous visits. Nonetheless, Rush was a fun ride, with some nice airtime and speed:

After Rush, I had a reride on Stealth, with a 25 minute advertised queue time. I was seated in row 10 this time, and the ride was just as fantastic as earlier, if not more so. Right on the back, the airtime over the top hat felt notably stronger; I got some excellent sustained ejector going over it!:

After my ride on Stealth, I headed to the final major coaster I was yet to tick off...

The Swarm

The Swarm was on an advertised 35 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on it. This queue time turned out to be somewhat overstated, with the queue taking more like 25 minutes; it's always a bonus when the queue time is overstated! But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in the back left row, and I have to say that it was absolutely great! The ride had a truly awesome sense of speed throughout, it had some decent forces without being overly intense, it had some great, floaty inversions, and it was overall really good fun! The very rigid and tight vest restraints were a bit of a detractor for me, as they really dug into my collar bones and made me feel quite tightly pinned to my seat, but I have to say that these didn't seem to be quite as bad as they've been in the past; have Thorpe altered Swarm's restraints? Overall, then, my ride on The Swarm was thoroughly decent, and I really enjoyed it:

After The Swarm, I headed back towards the rest of the park. But as I walked by, I sampled a ride that I haven't done in a few years...

Flying Fish

Flying Fish was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to have a go on it. The queue time board was relatively true to its word, with there only being a one cycle wait, and I was on the ride in no time. So, how was the ride? Well, I was sat in row 6, and it was a fun little powered coaster; it had its odd moments of speed and some fun turns! It's not exactly a spectacular example of the ride type, but for what it is, it does the job. Overall, then, Flying Fish was a fun diversion along my way back to the rest of the park:

After my ride on Flying Fish, I had a reride on Nemesis Inferno, on a 45 minute advertised queue time. I was seated in row 7, and as with my earlier ride, it was absolutely excellent, with great forces and speed, and hit the spot very nicely! On a side note, the operations were also excellent; there was a brief stoppage while I was in the queue, but once the ride was back up, the Inferno team were banging the trains out with no stacking whatsoever! Great job, guys:

After my reride on Nemesis Inferno, I headed towards Hyperia and sat down with a Burger King lunch to watch it test for a bit. It is a very impressive-looking ride, and I'm sure it'll be brilliant when I eventually get on it:

After I'd had my lunch, I decided to try another quick go on Saw via the single rider queue while I was nearby. The queue was once again quick, but I rather wish I hadn't, in all honesty. I was sat in the front, and the ride could not have been more different to the one I had earlier in the day. It was very rough, with some horrific jolts; the first drop and the ending were particularly bad. I'll digress to being a little confused as to how the front was seemingly rougher than the back on Saw, but I came off with a headache after that Saw ride, for sure:

After my reride on Saw, I had a reride on Stealth. I was seated in row 8 that time, and it was every bit as fantastic as the earlier two rides had been; that launch is such an awesome gut punch:

After my reride on Stealth, I then had a reride on The Swarm. I was in row 6 on the left side that time, and as with earlier, Swarm was an awesome ride with some great speed and great inversions:

After my Swarm reride, I had a reride on Nemesis Inferno. I was in row 5 that time, and the ride was once again brilliant, with a nice amount of force and a brilliant sense of speed:

After that, I had another reride on The Swarm. I was seated in row 5 on the right hand side that time, and it was once again a thoroughly decent coaster. I also had this ride during a bout of pouring rain, which added an... interesting dimension to the experience!

After my Swarm reride, I then had one final go on Stealth to close out the day. I was seated on the back row, and it was absolutely fantastic, with that ever punchy launch providing an amazing rush and the top hat providing some great ejector! It was a brilliant way to close out a great day at Thorpe Park:

After that final ride on Stealth, I left the park to get on the Sullivan Buses 951 back to Staines train station. The bus was very similar to earlier; extremely busy, but very punctual and getting me to the right place. However, I did not get this journey for free, as the card machine was working this time:

After I got to Staines train station, I did the final train legs of the trip to get me back to Bristol to meet up with my parents. I took 2 trains; a train from Staines to Reading and a train from Reading to Bristol Parkway. This journey was relatively simple and went without a hitch, so I can't really complain about that:

So, that brings my day at Thorpe Park to an end! I had an absolutely brilliant day; it was great to get back on some of my favourites at the park multiple times, and I was thrilled to get 15 rides in over the course of the day! Stealth was fantastic, Nemesis Inferno was awesome, Swarm was really decent, and overall, it was just nice to get back to Thorpe Park and get back on some of their rides for my first time in 2024! In terms of a particular highlight; my favourite ride at Thorpe, pre-Hyperia, would have to be either Stealth or Nemesis Inferno. I'm struggling to pick between the two, as they were both brilliant today!

Not getting on Hyperia was disappointing, but it didn't detract from the day in the slightest for me. I still had an absolutely cracking day at Thorpe Park without it, and when I was in the swing of riding some of my existing Thorpe favourites, the lack of Hyperia didn't really occur to me at all; I only really clocked it when I noticed it testing from a queue or on a ride! It does look like an awesome ride, though, and I'll be back very, very soon (potentially imminently) once it reopens... I can't wait to get on it, and given I had a relatively complete Thorpe day today, I'm not sure I'd even mind waiting a potentially considerable length of time for it at the expense of other rides in the park! Given how easy the train between Bristol and Staines is, I could pop back to Thorpe for the day with great ease whenever Hyperia reopens... I have plenty of money, and having just finished university, I've also got plenty of time to kill over the summer, so I'm hardly short of potential Hyperia-riding opportunity in the not-too-distant future once it's back open!

All in all, I do have a real soft spot for Thorpe Park. I rarely have a bad day there, and today was no exception! I think the park has a brilliant ride lineup, and for pure strength of rides, I'd struggle to think of a UK park on par with or better than Thorpe aside from Alton Towers! I also think Thorpe has some nicely themed areas and a nice atmosphere, and overall, I do just really enjoy it!

As well as the day at Thorpe Park, that also brings this trip to an end. And I have to say that I've overall been thrilled with how it's gone; I was very gratified by how surprisingly easy I found the logistics of managing a solo stay away with some additional public transport complexities, the whole process of staying in a hotel alone was much easier than I expected, and all in all, I'm really pleased to have pushed my solo trip boundaries that little bit further! From a pure theme park standpoint, the trip has also been relatively successful. Yes, I didn't get on Hyperia, but the trip was far from fruitless in terms of +1s, as I still got both Minifigure Speedway credits. It also got me back to both Legoland Windsor, a park I hadn't been to in 3 years, and Thorpe Park, a UK park that I'm very fond of, so that can never be a bad thing!

Thanks for reading; I hope you've enjoyed this report, and the overall duo of reports from this trip! To be honest, my next report is very likely to be another Thorpe Park report if Hyperia reopens any time soon, as I am eager to get on that ride ASAP!

9th June 2024: LEGOLAND Windsor

Hi guys. Today was an exciting, albeit also somewhat nerve-wracking, day for me; it was the first day of my first ever solo stay away from home. For my first solo stay away, I decided to go for a trip to LEGOLAND Windsor and Thorpe Park, two of the London area Merlin parks. This was because I felt that I should try this with something that wasn’t ridiculously far from home what with it being my first time, and even putting aside my anxieties about doing my first ever solo trip away, both LEGOLAND and Thorpe Park have new coasters for 2024 that I wanted to get on!

That’s probably enough of a prelude, though; let me start the first day of my trip, my day at LEGOLAND Windsor, right from the beginning.

I left my home in Gloucestershire at a little after 7:30 this morning to make the 30 minute drive to Bristol Parkway, a nearby major train station. After my parents dropped me in Bristol, I was able to start my train journey to Windsor, which consisted of three different legs; a train from Bristol Parkway to Reading, a train from Reading to Slough, and a train from Slough to Windsor & Eton Central. Apart from a 5 minute delay in Swindon, this all went relatively smoothly; I arrived in Windsor & Eton Central around 1h 50m after I left Bristol Parkway:

After getting off the train in Windsor, my initial plan when I booked the trip 2 months ago had been to catch a bus from Windsor to LEGOLAND. However, I discovered a few days ago that today was the day of the Windsor Triathlon, which threw large parts of the bus route out of whack compared to my original plans. As such, I decided to resort to a backup plan and do something I’ve never done before; I actually caught an Uber. I have to say that this worked excellently; the process of securing an Uber was really easy, a driver turned up within a couple of minutes, and I got into LEGOLAND by about 11am after a 20 minute ride from near the train station:

After entering the park, I decided to make a beeline for the main purpose of my visit…

Minifigure Speedway

Minifigure Speedway was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, so I decided to give it a go. This queue time turned out to be quite notably overstated, with the queue only taking 20 minutes; the queue moved reasonably quickly! But how was the ride? Well, I rode the Allstars side for my first go, and I have to say that it was quite good fun! I was seated in row 5, and the ride had some good speed, it was smooth, and the backwards section was quite fun without being too intense! With this being the first of these models manufactured by Zierer, I was also interested to see how the ride compared to the two Vekoma Family Boomerangs I’ve ridden. If I were pressed, I’d probably say that it was a little weaker than either of the two Vekomas I’ve done (Velociraptor and Accelerator), as the layout didn’t seem quite as punchy and the ride didn’t seem quite as refined, for lack of a better term, as the Vekoma models. Nonetheless, it’s a good, fun ride, it’s a great addition, and I think it fits this park wonderfully (LEGOLAND really needed a marginally more thrilling family coaster, in my view):

After my ride on Minifigure Speedway, I headed over to the other coaster in LEGOLAND…

Dragon

The Dragon was on an advertised 55 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride on it. As with Minifigure Speedway, this queue turned out to be reasonably overstated, taking only 40 minutes or so. On a side note; is it me, or does The Dragon have an incredibly short queue music loop? I think it every time I ride it, but I swear that it only has about a 2 minute loop; it started to get a little grating after a 40 minute queue! But enough about the queue; how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 12, and it was a perfectly fine ride! The dark ride section was good, with some brilliant animatronics and smells! As for the outdoor coaster section, it was smooth, and towards the back, it did have some moments of better speed than I’d previously remembered. However, it is definitely showing its age a bit, and it does seem like it hardly gets going before you hit another lift hill or brake run. Overall, though, The Dragon was fun enough for what it is, and the theming in the dark ride section was great:

After my ride on The Dragon, I decided to head to…

Flight of the Sky Lion

Flight of the Sky Lion was on an advertised 60 minute queue, so I decided to have a ride on it. When I looked at the queue, however, I didn’t think it looked like a 60 minute queue. It looked notably shorter than the queue I waited in for it back in 2021, and that queue was itself less than 60 minutes. My hunch was proven correct; the queue was quite notably overstated, taking only 35-40 minutes or so. That’s enough about the queue, however; how was the ride? Well, I have to say that it was absolutely brilliant, and possibly better than I’d remembered from back in 2021! The film on the ride is brilliant; it draws some parallels with Flight of Passage at Animal Kingdom, and it’s a very original premise for a flying theatre! It also has a brilliant soundtrack and brilliant smells, and overall, I think it’s an excellent ride! It’s a very uplifting ride, with a brilliantly immersive film and storyline, and overall, I’d personally say that it’s among my favourite dark rides in the UK:

After my ride on Flight of the Sky Lion, I headed back over to Minifigure Speedway to try and get the other credit. I was psyching myself up to try asking for the Legends side, but I thankfully got assigned it by pot luck without needing to ask. As for the ride itself, I was seated in row 8, and it was similar to the ride I had on Allstars earlier in the day; fast, fun and smooth! However, I’d say it felt a tad punchier, and I’d probably say that I marginally preferred Legends to Allstars, if I had to pick. These coasters are an excellent addition to LEGOLAND overall, however; they’re really good fun and fit the park like a glove. I’ll write a longer review at some stage, but my views of the investment overall are definitely positive:

After my ride on Minifigure Speedway, I decided to head to a dark ride…

Haunted House Monster Party

Haunted House Monster Party was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, so I decided to have a go on it. Continuing the running theme of overstated queue times, the queue time for Haunted House Monster Party was fairly overstated, with the queue actually taking only 15-20 minutes. You can never complain when a queue is overstated, and that was a frequent theme for me at LEGOLAND today! So, how was the ride? Well, it was very good fun! The illusion aspect is always very cleverly executed on these madhouses, and while it’s not quite Hex at Alton Towers, Haunted House Monster Party is a fun and quirky take on the concept! I think the lighting sequence and the whole idea of the ride being a big disco is a really fun concept, and the ride has an awesome soundtrack that really serves to do the concept justice, in my view! Overall, then, Haunted House Monster Party was a good, fun ride that I definitely enjoyed my ride on:

After my ride on Haunted House Monster Party, I decided to head to yet another dark ride…

Lego Ninjago: The Ride

Ninjago was on an advertised 60 minute queue, so I decided to give it a go. I wondered if Ninjago would continue the theme of largely overstated queue times, but Ninjago‘s queue time stayed true to its word, with the queue taking 60-65 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I remembered really enjoying Ninjago on my last visit to LEGOLAND in 2021, and today was no exception; the ride was really good fun! I think the shooting technology is very clever, and a very novel concept, even if I probably looked like a complete idiot flailing my arms at a screen! I also think the 3D and screens are good quality in there, the ride system is quite good, and there’s some nice physical theming in there as well, although the ride is mostly screen-based. I will digress that the ride is a little taxing on the arms, with my arms definitely feeling a bit tired by the end of the ride, but overall, Ninjago was really good fun! In terms of my score, I got 45,500, which I was very pleased with given that I am typically very poor at interactive dark rides anyway and was basically flailing my arms around aimlessly with little strategy:

After Ninjago, I had originally intended to go for another ride on Flight of the Sky Lion, but my phone battery was unfortunately flagging. As I was on my own, I did not want to take any risks with regard to my phone battery (I needed my phone for my Uber, train ticket and hotel reservation), so I decided to end my day at LEGOLAND there. It was already around 4:15pm anyway, so given the park closed at 5pm, I would likely only have had one more ride even if I had stayed. Nonetheless, I think some form of portable phone charger or battery pack might be a good investment for the next time I go on a solo trip:

To get out of LEGOLAND, I once again decided to take an Uber. As with earlier, the process worked brilliantly, and I was back in Windsor town centre within around 10-15 minutes.

To get to my hotel, I had to go to the other station in Windsor, Windsor & Eton Riverside, and catch a 15 minute train to Staines. The journey went very smoothly, and the very flash South Western Railway train, complete with plug sockets, gave me a prime opportunity to give my phone some much needed charge:

After getting off the train in Staines, I took a short walk to the Staines Premier Inn, my hotel for the night. Check in was very easy, which made for a nice end to the day:

So, that brings the first day of this trip to an end! I had a really good day; it was nice to get back to LEGOLAND, and while I didn’t get on absolutely loads, I was pleased with what I did get on and managed to satisfy my primary aim of getting the +2 of Minifigure Speedway. Those two coasters are good fun, and a great addition to the lineup at LEGOLAND, in my view! LEGOLAND was developing a really solid non-coaster lineup, with dark rides being a particular strength, so it’s nice to see the coaster lineup getting a bit of attention.

On a personal note, I was also very pleased with how today went in terms of the logistics. As I mentioned earlier, this is my first ever solo stay away, and compared to earlier solo trips I’ve done, this one has entailed slightly more complexity, so I’m pleased that I’ve managed to pull it off without a hitch thus far (I’m hoping I haven’t tempted fate there…).

Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Tomorrow, I’ll be heading to Thorpe Park, so keep your eyes peeled for that report! While my chances of getting on Hyperia aren’t looking terribly good, I rarely have a bad day at Thorpe, particularly on a midweek day in term time, so it should be fun!

We had our second day in the park today! After a weaker first day, we went to Alton Towers today hoping to get on slightly more, including some of the stuff we didn’t do yesterday.

As we’d stayed in a local hotel the night before, we left there at around 9:30am and got to Alton Towers before 10am, meaning that we arrived in the park itself at around 10:10am:

Upon arrival in the park, we noticed that a certain ride we’d bailed on yesterday was on a far shorter queue, so me and my grandad headed to…

Rita

Rita was on a 25 minute advertised queue time, so my grandad and I decided to give it a go. The ride was still on 1 train, but the queue was vastly shorter than it was yesterday, and it ultimately took around 35-40 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated on the back row, and it was great fun! I always love the launches on these hydraulic launch coasters, and the ride had a brilliant sense of speed and some absolutely brilliant pops of ejector airtime! There was a slight rattle, but nothing that overly detracted from enjoyment, and overall, my ride on Rita was great! My grandad enjoyed it too; he simply turned to me at the end, laughed, and said “insane machine!”:

After Rita, we met back up with my parents and went to ride another ride we hadn’t done yesterday, which was on a relatively short queue…

Oblivion

Oblivion was on an advertised 40 minute queue time, so me, my dad and my grandad decided to give it a go. The queue moved quickly due to brilliant operations resulting in a throughput of over 1,100pph, and we ultimately only waited 20-25 minutes. It’s always a bonus when the queue time is overstated! But how was the ride? Well, I’ve always loved Oblivion, and today’s ride was particularly awesome! I had a rather loose restraint, so I absolutely flew out of my seat going down the drop before getting that unbelievable hit of speed in the tunnel! I did, however, get whacked in the face by a rogue splash of water exiting the tunnel, which was slightly painful… overall, though, Oblivion was absolutely fantastic, and certainly reinforced its place as one of my favourite Alton Towers rides:

After Oblivion, we met back up with my mum and headed out of X-Sector to…

Nemesis Reborn

Nemesis Reborn was on an advertised 50 minute queue, so all four of us decided to reride it. We started queueing significantly further into the queue than we did yesterday, but despite this, we queued for the advertised 50 minutes, only 10 minutes less than yesterday. The queue moved notably slower than yesterday due to weaker operations; stacking was routine, and dispatch intervals were frequently over 2 minutes. But enough about the queue; how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 4, and the ride was absolutely excellent, and every bit as good as yesterday! The pacing was fast, the intensity was good without being excessive, the ride was smooth, and I must say that the recent rerides have given me a newfound appreciation for some of the more unique aspects of its layout design! Overall, then, Nemesis Reborn was absolutely excellent, and I’m thoroughly glad that such a great ride has been given a new lease of life:

After riding Nemesis Reborn, we decided to head to the other coaster in Forbidden Valley…

Galactica

Galactica was on an advertised 30 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride. I initially thought that this queue looked longer than 30 minutes, but it actually turned out to be pretty accurate, with us waiting around 35 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 3, and I’m afraid to say I wasn’t the biggest fan. Granted, the ride is smooth, and it has some interesting manoeuvres, but I just find the riding position rather uncomfortable. I’ve gone off flying coasters in general in recent years. Overall, while Galactica has some interesting elements, it’s not really my thing. It’s definitely the weakest of Alton Towers’ Big 7 for me:

After Galactica, we headed out of Forbidden Valley to take a reride on…

Wicker Man

Wicker Man was on an advertised 65 minute queue time, so as we wanted to have a reride on it, we decided to join the queue. The queue was much shorter than it was yesterday, but the advertised queue time was still somewhat understated, as it took us 80-85 minutes to get on the ride overall. That’s a vast improvement on 2.5 hours, though, so I can’t really complain! But how was the ride? Well, I was a little nervous to see how the day ride seemed after the brilliance of last night’s night ride, but I have to say that it still held its own phenomenally! I was seated in row 11, and the ride was absolutely phenomenal! There was airtime for days, the pacing was relentless, there were loads of wonderful twists and turns, the ride was smooth, and overall, the ride was just absolutely sublime! Overall then, Wicker Man was absolutely phenomenal, and the two rides over the last two days have easily been two of my best ever rides on it; it’s most definitely reinforced its status as my favourite Alton Towers ride:

After our ride on Wicker Man, it was around 3:30pm, so we decided to head home after that in order to get back home at a sensible time.

So that brought the day, and our March 2024 Alton Towers trip, to an end. While I’d be lying if I said that it was my best Alton Towers trip ever when you consider yesterday, there were still numerous highly enjoyable moments, and today was definitely an improvement on yesterday! I really enjoyed getting on Nemesis Reborn, and I have to say that I absolutely love what they've done with the retrack project and area! I also had two absolutely sublime rides on Wicker Man this trip, with the night ride in particular being one that will always stick with me, and overall, it was just nice to get back to Alton Towers after a long closed season and get back on some of the rides! It is undeniably a park that holds a very special place in my heart, and it always will be. No weaker day will ever change that.

Thanks for reading; I hope you've enjoyed these reports! I'm not sure exactly when my next theme park trip will be, but if not before, my next trip report will probably be from Oakwood Theme Park at some point in May!

Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; the start of my personal UK theme park season with a trip to Alton Towers! We were keen to come to the park this weekend for the Alton After Dark event and a first ride on Nemesis Reborn, and after thoroughly enjoying his first visit to the park last year, my grandad joined me and my parents for a return to the park. He was incredibly excited for his first ever ride on Nemesis after it was closed on his first visit!

Under the pretence of us wanting to stay in the park until 8pm, we left our home in Gloucestershire slightly later than usual, at around 9:15am. Due to congestion on the M5 and an accident on the M6, the journey took a little over 3 hours, with us arriving at Alton Towers at around 12:20pm. Unbeknownst to us, this ended up being rather symbolic of the day ahead… this should become more apparent as the report progresses!

Upon arrival, we took the monorail into the park and pretty much walked straight on, so with a brief stoppage on the ride, we got through Alton’s gates at around 12:45pm:

After getting into the park, we decided to make a beeline for one of the key draws of our visit…

Nemesis Reborn

Nemesis Reborn was on an advertised 110 minute queue time. It was one of the key draws of our visit, and realistically, we knew the queue would probably be long, so we decided to just get in it. This ultimately proved to be a good decision, as the queue only took around 60 minutes, which was in part due to absolutely phenomenal operations. Dispatches were incredibly speedy, and a throughput of around 1,300pph was being attained on 2 trains, which is as high as I’ve ever seen on Nemesis! But how was the ride? Did Nemesis Reborn live up to the hype after a 2 year retrack? Well, I have to say that it was great to get back on Nemesis; not riding it for 2 years did make me realise what an excellent coaster it is! I rode in row 7, and it was one of the best rides I’ve had on it, with awesome speed, just the right amount of intensity and a pretty much glass smooth ride experience! My grandad, who was taking his first ride, absolutely loved it, saying that “you can’t not love that” and that “it was somehow even more insane than Smiler”! He even told me to specifically mention that “the outside loop was so insane, it made snot spread all over my nose”! I also have to say that I really like what they’ve done with the area; it’s looking absolutely brilliant, and my parents were also very impressed! I’ll do a more detailed review of Nemesis Reborn at some stage, but all in all, our verdict was very positive:

After Nemesis Reborn, the rest of the rides were either closed or on very long queues, so we decided to head for the shortest coaster queue…

Runaway Mine Train

Runaway Mine Train was on an advertised 60 minute queue time. As the other coasters were all either closed or on queues of over 100 minutes, we figured that it was the least worst option and decided to give it a go. This queue was ultimately slightly longer than advertised, taking around 65-70 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 17, and it was good fun! Runaway Mine Train is a definite guilty pleasure of mine; that tunnel helix is surprisingly intense for a family roller coaster, and the ride definitely feels faster than 22mph! My grandad also really enjoyed it, saying that it was faster than he’d remembered, with the tunnel helix gaining particular plaudits from him! So overall, Runaway Mine Train was a good, fun ride that we all enjoyed:

After our ride on the Runaway Mine Train, we headed to the snack stand near Wicker Man so that my parents and grandad could get some coffees. However, we were told that the stand had “run out of hot drinks” (my mum’s face upon hearing this was a picture…), so we headed to a different stand to get coffees before heading over to Rita.

At that point, Rita’s 100 minute advertised queue time was the shortest of that of any of the open coasters we hadn’t ridden, so we initially decided to get into the queue. However, the ride was running 1 train and attaining a throughput of slightly under 400pph. This meant that the main queue pretty much wasn’t moving, with it moving more quickly from people leaving it than from the actual ride throughput. Therefore, we decided to bail after 15 minutes of minimal movement, as more rides were opening with shorter advertised queues:

After bailing on Rita, we decided to head for a ride that had just reopened on a shorter advertised queue time…

Wicker Man

Wicker Man had just reopened on an advertised 70 minute queue time, so as all four of us really like Wicker Man, we decided to get in the queue. We had our suspicions that the queue may be a little longer than 70 minutes based on where it stretched to, but we hadn’t bargained for the actual length. It moved quite a bit slower than usual, likely in large part due to a combination of reduced capacity (only 2 trains out of 3 were running) and far more Fastrack and RAP than usual, and with a brief 5-10 minute weather delay, the queue ultimately took 145 minutes. No, that is not a typo… it took us nearly 2.5 hours to get to the airgates, and by the time we got off the ride and were stood in the shop, it was a full 2.5 hours later than when we had joined the queue (we joined at 4:30pm, and we were off the ride and in the shop at 7pm). That is quite possibly the longest queue I’ve ever waited in for a UK coaster, and up there with the likes of Gringotts at Universal in opening year as one of the longest I’ve ever waited in. To be fair, the weather delay added a small amount of time on, but even without that, the queue would still have taken well over 2 hours. But enough about the queue; how was the ride? Well, the longer-than-expected queue actually worked in our favour somewhat for the ride experience itself. By the time we got on the ride, it was pretty much dark, so we had an unexpected night ride with all the themed lighting on! I’d been hoping for a night ride on Wicker Man before our trip, but I had not expected to get one when I joined the queue at 4:30pm, so that was a definite bonus! Perhaps controversially, Wicker Man has long been my favourite Alton Towers ride, and people have always said about how brilliant it is at night. And my god, it did not disappoint! I was seated in row 5, and it was absolutely sublime! The pacing was phenomenal, with the ride absolutely flying through the course, there were loads of excellent airtime moments, and overall, it was just a phenomenal amount of fun! I should also add that it was absolutely belting it down with rain during our ride, which added an… interesting dimension to the experience! Overall, that night ride on Wicker Man was absolutely phenomenal; all four of us were shocked and in complete hysterics at the end, and that ride, for me at least, is an experience I will never forget! I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it was the best ride I’ve ever had on Wicker Man and quite possibly the best ride I’ve ever had on a UK coaster; it almost made the 2.5 hour queue feel worthwhile! And it was in row 5; I can only imagine how insane it would have been on the back:

After our absolutely sublime night ride on Wicker Man, it was 7pm. As we’d changed our minds about staying until 8pm earlier in the day and booked a restaurant reservation at our hotel, we decided to leave the park to head back there at that point:

So, that wrapped up our first day at Alton Towers out of this 2-day trip! I’m not going to beat around the bush here; it was a pretty weak day overall. I’m sorry to be negative, but I’ve had a lot of theme park visits over the years, including countless trips to Alton Towers alone, and it’s definitely the weakest day I’ve ever spent at Alton Towers. In fact, it’s probably down there with Thorpe Park July 2018 as one of the weakest days I’ve ever spent in a theme park full stop. A combination of long queues, sporadic ride availability, and cold and windy weather did definitely test our enthusiasm at times.

However, this wasn’t Alton Towers’ fault. The problems were largely caused by excessive wind speeds and poor weather; they can’t change the weather, and to be fair, it was pretty windy and cold today. And they were kind enough to give us all a free return visit for our troubles, so we are thinking of returning for an additional day trip later in the year.

Also, the day was not without its positives at all. For one, I really enjoyed getting on Nemesis Reborn; I’m a big fan of what they’ve done with the theming and area, the ride itself was running excellently, and it seemed like my parents and grandad were also fans! Secondly, that night ride on Wicker Man was simply sublime; as much as the queue was very long, I’m so glad we got to do that! It was possibly the best ride I’ve ever had on Wicker Man, or any UK coaster for that matter, and it left us all in awe and in complete hysterics!

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report! I apologise for a slightly more negative report today, and I admit that I may have been overly harsh at points, but I do feel that I need to be honest with you all, and that means not pretending that things were brilliant when they weren’t. Keep your eyes peeled for another trip report tomorrow, as we’ve got a second day in the park tomorrow!