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5 hours ago, ChessingtonSam said:

Rock bottom? 

 

 

Like have you even seen Gulliver's?

 

The only thing they do wrong is their no adults allowed rule making it hard to get the creds (and even that is understandable)...

 

As a kid park, they're probably quite good and no doubt better kept than Chessie is currently...

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3 minutes ago, Benin said:

 

The only thing they do wrong is their no adults allowed rule making it hard to get the creds (and even that is understandable)...

 

As a kid park, they're probably quite good and no doubt better kept than Chessie is currently...

I'm sorry but Gulliver's Kingdom has to be the worst kept theme park in the UK. Not all of Chessie is badly kept, in fact only pockets of it are, whereas all of Gullivers looks derelict. Gullivers only redeeming qualities are Switchback, the theming in the adventure land thing and the Western area before it was forgotten, the views and the fact it's dead.

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52 minutes ago, ChessingtonSam said:

Not all of Chessie is badly kept, in fact only pockets of it are

 

Entrances - 2010 cheap themed signs and bamboo stuff already rotting/faded, very unsuitable car park and infrastructure for new South entrance.

 

Dragon's Fury - messy presentation, ad-hoc queue alterations making it a headache just to get on the ride, faded track and crowded exit, poor throughput for a major ride, lack of signage explaining single rider queue.

 

Wild Asia - 2010 wood built theming already fungi infested, faux stonework peeling off Kobra theming, lots of decoration already missing from area, faded paintwork, all the rickshaws removed from the paths for some reason this year.

 

Mystic East - bare bones of what it used to be, none of its huge theme structures (anymore except for buddha which is cheaply repainted - bad paint skill and gold already peeling off to show green in places), station bare with no ambient lighting, queueline fences falling over, new queue cheaply produced fencing built on plaza, dirty building, the ride is now a horrid tour through back-of-house areas, the Dragon tunnel is on the verge of demolition, the horrid half-demolished condition of the tunnel is easily viewed from above, missing ALL of its original animations and FX.

 

Tomb Blaster - vandalised set, cheap overbright lighting, poor attempt at a UV makeover, poor laser gun system, all effects out of sync or broken, audio terribly edited and hurts the ears, shadow of its former self, formerly atmospheric queueline now brightly lit with unnecessary evac lights, ridiculous unnecessary metal queue fences, the exteriors are green

 

Vampire - extremely messy lighting, missing audio throughout the indoor queue, bare concrete space where creepy themed crypt shelter used to be, poor quality trains from 2002 where used to be well-built trains, high quality animatronic abandoned in poor condition, station audio set up a mess with barely any speakers working, music so quiet, missing chandeliers, various FX long since gone, murals no longer illuminated, cheaply produced 2015 theming already lying broken on the floor in queue.

 

Hocus Pocus Hall - animations air leaking, extremely dusty props, lighting broken or lighting FX poorly replaced, UV murals very faded in places (the original painters are in business and could be called back), some FX missing.

 

Trail of Kings- very poor infrastructure, small spaces, needed demolishing and replacing years ago but they've decided to dress it up with patches of theming instead.

 

Zufari - unreliable cave FX, terrible cave FX, bland boring appearance, terrible queue system, terrible preshow, guests unable to find the entrance, etc

 

Front of house in messy condition. Parts are so far removed from their intended design, they are either poorly rethemed or structures demolished with no replacement, messy appearance, clash of old and new. Cables hanging slack over pathways between buildings, exposed back of house areas, many details still covered over with ivy. Many back of house areas in big need of refurbishment/replacement and aren't suitable. Hotels are lacking in many areas, cheaply produced and feel like decorated Travelodges.

 

Conclusion - It's not a fun day out anymore, don't keep going.

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3 hours ago, Archive said:

 

 

Mystic East - bare bones of what it used to be, none of its huge theme structures (anymore except for buddha which is cheaply repainted - bad paint skill and gold already peeling off to show green in places), station bare with no ambient lighting, queueline fences falling over, new queue cheaply produced fencing built on plaza, dirty building, the ride is now a horrid tour through back-of-house areas, the Dragon tunnel is on the verge of demolition, the horrid half-demolished condition of the tunnel is easily viewed from above, missing ALL of its original animations and FX.

 

Tomb Blaster - cheap overbright lighting, poor attempt at a UV makeover, poor laser gun system, all effects out of sync or broken, audio terribly edited and hurts the ears, formerly atmospheric queueline now brightly lit with unnecessary evac lights, ridiculous unnecessary metal queue fences, the exteriors are green

 

Vampire - extremely messy lighting, missing audio throughout the indoor queue, bare concrete space where creepy themed crypt shelter used to be, poor quality trains from 2002 where used to be well-built trains, high quality animatronic abandoned in poor condition, station audio set up a mess with barely any speakers working, music so quiet, missing chandeliers, various FX long since gone, murals no longer illuminated, cheaply produced 2015 theming already lying broken on the floor in queue.

 

 

 

Zufari - unreliable cave FX, terrible cave FX, bland boring appearance, terrible queue system, terrible preshow, guests unable to find the entrance, etc

Those rides I'll give you, they where pretty much what I was referring to with the "pockets" but...

 

3 hours ago, Archive said:

 

Entrances - 2010 cheap themed signs and bamboo stuff already rotting/faded, very unsuitable car park and infrastructure for new South entrance.

 

Dragon's Fury - messy presentation, faded track and crowded exit, poor throughput for a major ride, lack of signage explaining single rider queue.

 

Wild Asia - 2010 wood built theming already fungi infested, faux stonework peeling off Kobra theming, lots of decoration already missing from area, faded paintwork, all the rickshaws removed from the paths for some reason this year.

 

Hotels are lacking in many areas, cheaply produced and feel like decorated Travelodges.

 

Conclusion - It's not a fun day out anymore, don't keep going.

This I don't agree with. I think the entrance looks fine myself (although yeah the South car park is annoying and the eyesores they call ticket booths stick out like a sore thumb), I cant speak for Dragon's Fury's queue but compared to Vampire and a few other coasters in the uk the track is gleaming, and the Single Rider queue is self explanatory tbh, I've used it many a time and only met one group that didn't know what it was, two little kids (who didn't even look tall enough) talking about what they'd do for the photo and sitting next to each other. They were adamant they knew what it meant though when I told them.

 

Wild Asia doesn't really look too different to when I first saw it imo, although the rickshaws thing was weird.

 

I thought the hotels where really nice when I stayed there but maybe things have changed since December 2014.

 

And finally, I still find Chessie fun, even after about 30 visits this year the place still feels special, it's a park I have a genuine love for.

 

Oh and btw you forgot to mention Toadies but I don't think you really need too... Good Lord am I glad it's going soon...

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9 hours ago, ChessingtonSam said:

the Single Rider queue is self explanatory tbh, I've used it many a time and only met one group that didn't know what it was

"I think it makes perfect sense, apart from when people don't understand"?

 

ANYWAY, Wild Asia is crumbling, (literal fungi growing up theming), all the bunting removed, paintwork fading, one of Kobra's tails being chopped off, moss and mold growing everywhere, bamboo fences falling, the area looks appalling for something only six years old.

 

Everything about Dragon's Fury is diabolical for such a popular attraction. There is absolutely nothing to the experience but the actual roller coaster, which to be frank, is astronomically cheap, and not at all fit for a park like Chessington. No thought is given at all for the queuing experience (the rat infested drains by the in-queue shop smell lovely don't they), the track is fading beyond recognition, and goodness knows how much stress that relatively weak structure is under.

 

One thing missed out from that earlier post is Rattlesnake. The ride is in a god-awful condition. Five car operation? What on earth. Water effects not functional for so many years now that they've actually overgrown so much they're next to hidden, next to all the Mexicans gone, and the one by the station is so worn that not only is his fiberglass arm exposed, by also the metal rod in the middle. Remember when he used to climb the tower? Most the cartoony snakes and barrels are gone, and that Mexican has been remodeled and now looks as if he's an "excited" tramp under a bus shelter.

 

So yay- Chessington.

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10 hours ago, KingNemesis said:

Guys isn't this getting a bit off topic?

I think the downfall of Burps and how the same issues which led to this (lack of maintainence and poor cheap investment) are reflected across the whole of the park are quite relevant. 

 

Bubbleworks has no future. Neither does this topic. Does the park?

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I don't think so. In my teenage years I was a proper little Chessington fanboy but as time has gone, the very essence of what Chessington is supposed to be has completely gone. For every great thing they do (the compass in Market Square for example) a lot of awful is also completed. It's a real shame too because the park in its heyday whilst lacking the clout of Towers, was an awesome theme park to visit.

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I honestly believe the name should be changed, by all means change the park into Merlin's African Adventure as they are intent on doing - remove the corpses of former fantastic 90s rides so that they can be remembered in their best days, not their broken states - but don't keep pretending it's still "Chessington" anymore. Everything about the park that was is thoroughly gone, things like 2006 BubbleWorks just served to pander people's nostalgia when it fact it was very far removed from how people remembered it. Get rid of anything recognisable from the old days and then they can make it their hotel complex like they always wanted. That way anyone interested in visiting a fun, nice theme park will go elsewhere and stop giving them their time.

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I agree that so much of chessington is simply operated due to the nostalgic kick many parents will now get out of it, and being able to share the rides they loved as a child with their own kids, and how chessington have let the quality of a fair few of their rides slip tremendously. It's also extremely disappointing that recent investments (if you can even call any in the last 5 years, literally just being shows and zuf that) have been tremendous flops. I almost feel many enthusiasts here are falling into a similar trap to many parents in the GP, you want the park to completely change it's branding because it's just a hollow shell of what it used to be. Coming off of rides you can hear older visitors mumble to eachother, saying it's nothing like they remember, but even now, this sort of anti climatic nostalgic stage chessington is stuck in makes it what it is. It's a real shame merlin can't do any of the kept attractions justice (maybe scorp as an exception, I mean even thats just a bit mixed up) but no park has the position chessington has in this kind of story arc that makes a park. Where are people coining this african adventure phrase from, one of the next projected investments was to extend pirate's cove which is about as far away from typical african theming as you can get! Chessington is on an adventure and right now they're stuck in a terribly deep hole. Maybe there's no way out, or maybe things will start to help the park claw it's way back to the light. Despite chessingtons track record I remain optimistic for future developments and truly hope that MMM can work some magic that they seem to be able to on their european parks. When I look at the likes of Oblivion: The Black hole, X-Raptor and even Flugs theming I think wow, do merlin really produce that? I pray for the day they are able to move that kind of quality back into our parks. I completely understand the pessimism that many of you hold, however I still hope for the day that I can turn round and say good job chessington. Finally hit the rust old nail on the head with that one. 

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10 hours ago, Mysterio Ka said:

this sort of anti climatic nostalgic stage chessington is stuck in makes it what it is. It's a real shame merlin can't do any of the kept attractions justice (maybe scorp as an exception, I mean even thats just a bit mixed up) but no park has the position chessington has in this kind of story arc that makes a park. Where are people coining this african adventure phrase from, one of the next projected investments was to extend pirate's cove which is about as far away from typical african theming as you can get! Chessington is on an adventure and right now they're stuck in a terribly deep hole. Maybe there's no way out, or maybe things will start to help the park claw it's way back to the light. Despite chessingtons track record I remain optimistic for future developments and truly hope that MMM can work some magic that they seem to be able to on their european parks.

 

Merlin can choose to invest in Chessington any time of day. But they put Chessington on a back burner because it already makes the profits they want from it, despite much the infrastructure being on the verge of condemnation and the rides in dire states. Chessington themselves also often make weird decisions and seemingly ignore the real state of their park.

 

Merlin have vastly more money than Tussauds did when they built Chessington in the first place. They could rebuild all the infrastructure and faltering rides if they wanted to, but instead they continue to run the theme park on a minimal budget and only spend on frivolous short/medium term investments like a themed carousel, cheaply repainting one falling apart facade at a time, or a random panda show with an MDF stage. On their doorstep are huge rides originally built to a fantastic standard, Vampire, BubbleWorks, Tomb, sitting there with enormous creative potential just waiting to be restored or reinvented, but instead they make them worse through menial projects.

__

 

It was known many years ago that expenditure would have to be spent on new Dragon Falls theming, BubbleWorks maintenance, Trail of The Kings infrastructure, Tomb Blaster's interior for many years. These things were constantly delayed with many excuses, meanwhile Merlin easily constructed a large hotel costing millions of pounds at lightning speed.

 

Merlin as a company also regularly build whole theme parks around the world now. They are not a company who just "dont have the budget". Rather, they deliberately choose not to disseminate that budget on their UK theme parks as they should, not until it is justified by their rubbish investment cycle system and brand marketability processes. They also class essential "maintenance" as "refurbishment" in order to budget for it differently and justify it as capital expenditure rather than a necessary cost.

 

It is a requirement of new significant projects at Chessington that they all be animal or safari themed, as no idea is allowed to pass before it satisfies the park's imposed "Unique Selling Point". Euehh. They've already turned the park into a low budget imitation of Animal Kingdom and borrowed their image from Longleat Safari Park. Yet it's only superficial branding that they're interested in like bamboo and animal prints painted on things. And it's very much rumored that the future major investments will all be turning the remaining distinctive, fun themes into animal-based themes just because of this boring formula.

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Merlin can also 'choose' to make amazing theming if ever they want to, there are so many fantastic design studios around that go without this work because the big companies rarely hire them for theme parks anymore. Sometimes Merlin do theme well if they see it necessary, but even then they've never achieved anything truly great in my opinion, in light of the amazing independent parks around the world like Phantasialand, Efteling and Europa (which have much smaller company backing). MMM is not a true functioning attraction design studio in that sense - it operates and project manages according to Merlin's internal policies and only persues projects that satisfy Merlin's aims.

 

Everything they do has to be justified in terms of marketability, projected figures and their 'USP' policies. Not according to what people will respond to and find surprising or entertaining like Chessington & Alton Towers did in the 90s. This more often than not means reducing detail, restraining ideas and rarely allowing for true innovation. Their themes are stingy and feel like they've been written on Wikipedia, their humour dull and corporate, because MMM are keen to look as 'serious' as possible to impress the company shareholders. Not what a successful creative company should be like. Yet MMM advertise themselves as "the highest quality creative company in the world, delivering faster than any of their competitors", a proper lie, and ignoring that Disney, Universal or their European competitors even exist.

 

The corporate barrier and lack of real care shows in things like their handling of BubbleWorks closure, the terrible state of the rides that they claim "most people wouldn't notice", the atrociously poor value entrance prices. Yet they have no reason to change, because the big numbers keep coming and parks like Chessington are still, wrongly, seen as being in a different league of quality to other independent UK attractions.

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