Ricky Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Bring someone home and be like, this is *insert name here*, we are in a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smidget Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 That what you did? Erm, one of my friends came out as bisexual and her family were totally, 100% fine with it, as were her girlfriend's parents. We were 15 at the time. They didn't tell her younger brother her sexual orientation until he was a little bit older, probably so he was old enough to understand it and not make lesbian jokes at her. Unfortunately most of our school weren't so accepting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Unfortunately I can not give you much help Liam as I am still not out to even school friends, I am sure that when it feels right to tell them you should tell them, I would recommend telling them straight-up, they will most likely not accept it straight away but I'm sure they will understand, about the age, it's up to you when you feel that you are ready to do, over 18 is a sensible idea as then you can get your own place if the worst is to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 No, my dad randomly came out and asked me whilst I was visiting him, and my stepdad also asked me and told mother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smidget Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Oh yeah, whilst I remember... Another guy I know came out to his parents through his dad walking in on him getting it on with his boyfriend. I think it'd be best to not come out like that, if you can avoid it! I'd say just do it whenever you are ready. If the people who want to be in a relationship with you can't accept the fact that you're not ready to come out to your parents just yet then maybe they don't care about you as much as you'd think (sounds harsh but if they did care surely they would accept that you're not ready?) I'd say if half of you isn't ready to come out, then maybe you shouldn't do it.Of course, this could all be rubbish advice because I'm straight, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to come out early, then regret it. Han30 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RideAddict Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Relationship aunt, now sexuality aunt - you really are Claire Rayner's ideal replacement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 What tips would you give someone who wanted to come out to their family? What was your experiences like when you came out? (if at all) And do you think their is an age limit to when people should come out? Like should LGBT people under 18 not come out to their family just incase their parents do not agree? From people I know - who finally came out to their family, there was all this big build up to telling them and they were getting really panicky - what would they do? will they reject me? etc and then when they actually got round to it thinking it was about to be some major drama they got a 'Don't worry Dear, I've known for ages dear' etc. and then have continued on normal discussion as if nothing has been said and then of course if my friend wanted to talk more about it theyd pick it up further. Parents and therefore other family members generally know already and from what I've seen - There has only been one person who got abandoned temporarily whilst the STEP dad came round to the idea who didnt even live with any blood relatives at that point so for me I ain't including that one. Blood relatives will generally know - they will accept you for it and they will wait until you are ready to come out to them as they know it's a difficult subject to bring up. From what I've seen there always seems to be this big build up for very little reaction So when your ready personally to tell your family then do it - it won't be as bad as you imagine it to be. Just don't do it just because someone else is saying you should do it - It needs to be in your time and when your comfortable to talk about it with them. If someone says you need to do it to the point you feel you have no choice but to, even though you ain't ready then that person is not worth your time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPJames Posted April 12, 2013 Report Share Posted April 12, 2013 I have been following this topic for a while and I now I feel like I should post something.... That what you did? Erm, one of my friends came out as bisexual and her family were totally, 100% fine with it, as were her girlfriend's parents. We were 15 at the time. They didn't tell her younger brother her sexual orientation until he was a little bit older, probably so he was old enough to understand it and not make lesbian jokes at her. Unfortunately most of our school weren't so accepting... This is why I think so many people fear coming out... Everyone is school makes fun of 'gays' and if you are gay or bisexual you don't want to come out infront of your school friends because they will make fun of you. Even because I have a 'camp' voice people make fun of me at my school but I just get on with my day... Luckily there are some people at school who are absolutely fine with people being gay however some people are really against it- they will make fun of you, spread rumours about you etc. that is why I strongly advise you only come out to people you really trust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted April 12, 2013 Report Share Posted April 12, 2013 This is why I think so many people fear coming out... Everyone is school makes fun of 'gays' and if you are gay or bisexual you don't want to come out infront of your school friends because they will make fun of you. Even because I have a 'camp' voice people make fun of me at my school but I just get on with my day... Luckily there are some people at school who are absolutely fine with people being gay however some people are really against it- they will make fun of you, spread rumours about you etc. that is why I strongly advise you only come out to people you really trust. The school playground is a very cruel place and from my own experience secondary school is a time I would not wish to return to - After secondary school was over life for me properly started and people I was with grew up. I was made fun of for my camp voice and camp ways in secondary school but when it got to like year 10 when I was growing more confident I used those characteristics to make fun of myself and also to be funny in general and everyone backed off then. Does irritate me sometimes though when full grown adults are so arrogant that because you act camp you therefore must be gay when thats not the case. But then in the adult world you can retaliate to such comments and put them in their place with words If anyone needs to come out, yes to their close friends, relatives etc but not at school not until you get to college really when all of a sudden it's trendy to be bi for some mad reason. I also found that most people who kept teasing about my campness at secondary school now they have grown up have turned out gay so that must of been their way to hide it from people who knows. Plus to add on all that - the amount of hormonal changes you go through at secondary school as well, everyone gets confused/ doubts at one point or another! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPJames Posted April 12, 2013 Report Share Posted April 12, 2013 The school playground is a very cruel place and from my own experience secondary school is a time I would not wish to return to - After secondary school was over life for me properly started and people I was with grew up. I was made fun of for my camp voice and camp ways in secondary school but when it got to like year 10 when I was growing more confident I used those characteristics to make fun of myself and also to be funny in general and everyone backed off then. Does irritate me sometimes though when full grown adults are so arrogant that because you act camp you therefore must be gay when thats not the case. But then in the adult world you can retaliate to such comments and put them in their place with words If anyone needs to come out, yes to their close friends, relatives etc but not at school not until you get to college really when all of a sudden it's trendy to be bi for some mad reason. I also found that most people who kept teasing about my campness at secondary school now they have grown up have turned out gay so that must of been their way to hide it from people who knows. Plus to add on all that - the amount of hormonal changes you go through at secondary school as well, everyone gets confused/ doubts at one point or another! Just a note to anyone in TPM who is at secondary school and is gay or bisexual... Don't let these comments put you off, as me and Peaj have both said, secondary school is a cruel place. Don't let others who tease you or make fun of you about being gay put you off altogether because everyone is their own person and people are different sexualities. So don't let some of those horrid people in your class get to you! Be strong and don't drive yourself into depression because of a couple of nasty people.I guess I am starting to have sexual feelings now I have moved onto secondary school, in primary school everyone is relaxed and no one is oriented around a certain sex. I guess it changes over time but I am starting to have feelings for a certain gender. I am not going to say this however as I am still unsure and it is early stages however I have been talking to jamesC and sidders and they have really helped me come to sense. I guess time will tell but I think I know what sexuality I am although I am not going to vote until a later stage. L7123456 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 I've just came out to one of my school friends and he is really accepting of it, I am so pleased that I have finally come out to people other than on TPM, I feel so great, but I am still being really careful of who that I come out to. J.S217, EC!, Sidders and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidders Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Ahh James! That is great news Really really happy for you! James & Co. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Ahh James! That is great news Really really happy for you! Thanks Dara Edit: Anyway, I just thought I would update y'all into what's happening in the life of James! Recently I've come out to 2 school friends and a teacher, they have all been very accepting and have been sworn to secrecy Also I just yesterday came out to my cousin, she asked me the usual things about when I realised... blah blah blah! But she has said that she would not mention it to anyone in the rest of the family until I do it myself, I've found it easy to come out to friends now, they are really understanding, just today I came out to one of my friends! So life is going well, but who knows when I will do the toughest one of all... MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidders Posted May 31, 2013 Report Share Posted May 31, 2013 Sorry to hear you feel you've been treated so badly Jamie. I can really empathise with this one. But what you've got to remember is, while you don't think you'll ever get over this guy, there is every chance that, in time, you will learn to manage very well not being with him. Oh for sure, it seems absurd now and it feels like you've been betrayed and have nothing left to devote to anyone else, but something - someone - will come along and value you for you. Me writing this will obviously sound very 'blue skies'-y, and the truth is it's going to hurt, but love (I also am very disinclined to throw that word around at whoever) isn't going to be plain sailing and you're never going to end up with the perfect person on your first shot. Sadly, however devoted to someone you may feel, sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way you planned. Since I've felt like this, I've been though one hell of a rollercoaster. I became depressed, tried changing everything about me, and spiralled into hating myself and pretending I hated other gay men to hide the fact I was gay. But all it takes is meeting someone who understands how you feel and reciprocates. I was lucky enough to meet someone like that, and he changed my life. Hold on in there Jamie, you've a long life to live yet. SteveJ and Phill Pritchard 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted June 17, 2013 Report Share Posted June 17, 2013 I'm probably 2 months too late but I enjoyed this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcNOapwgw6I James & Co. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted June 17, 2013 Report Share Posted June 17, 2013 I'm probably 2 months too late but I enjoyed this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcNOapwgw6I That is a great song, I'm glad that an artist has decided to go against the 'norm' and made a song that actually hits the heart about this issue, I think what he says is true. The abusive words get thrown about loads, I've even said to friends that know I'm gay, that I would appreciate if they did not use the words around me, as when they didn't know I was gay, they used them words a lot. It shows that celebrities are actually starting to see issues and instead of writing songs that are from the perspective of the majority, they are tackling it from the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Sorry for the double post, it's just that I wanted this to be seen. I've recently been thinking about this a lot, I promised myself that after my exams I would 'come out' to my parents, I've felt that I wanted to come out to them for a while, but now that I'm getting closer to the time that I think I'm ready, I'm getting more and more apprehensive about doing it. It's not the fact that I fear their reaction it's more the fact that I don't know what way would be best for me and them to hear it, so I was wondering what way do you think that I should do it? I was thinking that it would be best if I write them a letter, I know that I would have to be there to answer any questions that they could possibly have after them reading the letter. But now thinking about it I think that they would rather me just say it to them, but that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. So as before, what do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidders Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I eventually came out to my mum in writing, James. Dad still doesn't know about me being gay though. Mum reacted fine but it was really hard watching her read it. I mean, really hard. I don't know how you'll feel if you go ahead with writing a letter but the best advice is that it doesn't need to be lengthy. You'll feel more comfortable talking about it than writing it once it's out in the open. The letter should really break the ice as it were. Mum hugged me and said that all she wanted for her children was for them to be happy, and that because she could never afford to give us material wealth, she tried to teach us that things like friendship, loyalty and love are much more important and that who we love doesn't matter. 'Course, I was a blubbering wreck at the time so I've paraphrased a wee bit! alexander, Mer, Luke_A and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Thank you Dara, I'm going to take a few days to decide on how to do it, then I shall see when I'm ready and tell my parents, you never know, I might beat Liam to telling them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark9 Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 I never came out to my parents. If straight kids don't need to tell their parents then why should I have to tell them what I am. I can understand why some people feel the need but for me personally, I don't see why I should have to. J.S217, TPJames, alexander and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James & Co. Posted August 3, 2013 Report Share Posted August 3, 2013 Well, after many months of wondering what would happen, today was the day that I decided to tell my mum. I went downstairs and had a laugh, looked at some pictures of family, then I vanished for a bit, that was to write the note. Yes I chickened out, I couldn't tell her, but I wrote it, and handed it to her in the kitchen, then there was silence which only lasted a few seconds, but I thought it was an eternity! But I was greeted by a smile. She was okay with it, although she said not to tell my dad or my brother. Then I got the usual questions of, 'when did you realize?', 'How did you realize?'. The one thing that I didn't like about the conversation, is that she said that I'll have to hide it for a few years, but I'm guessing that's because she still believes in the age of homophobia being all around, yes it's still there, but not as much, a lot more people are understanding. I get where she's coming from, but I'm not too keen on the idea, I'm guessing it'll take her a while to come round and realize that I can tell people. Well, that's been my coming out to parents, now that I look back at it, even though it was about 10 mins ago, I wonder why was I so worried?! Mer, TPJames, alexander and 6 others 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammy3112 Posted August 18, 2013 Report Share Posted August 18, 2013 I'm straight, my current girlfriend is Bi. Never seen a problem with it, although some of my friends think that it's weird. But hey, I love her, so who really cares at the end of the day?! James & Co. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GladiatorFanKyle Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 I'm a out and proud gay guy! Ricky 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EC! Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 I'm a out and proud gay guy! Its great to know your out and proud, and I can tell you your not in a minority here, even though the poll says otherwise haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GladiatorFanKyle Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 That's good to know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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