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  1. Somewhere in the rural Hamptonshire countryside, lies a mysterious theme park. But this isn't any ordinary theme park, which is home to dinosaurs, Cobras, wonderful beasts and a famous animated pig (to name a few). This is a park that is certainly on the up, investing in attractions that improve the park whilst retaining and complimenting it's character and values. It's a place so renowned for its greatness, legend has it adventurers have travelled to the depths of boots to witness it's golden gates. WELCOME, TO PAULTONS PARK Home to the weird and wonderful, like this raining tree. For 2016, the park have invested at great lengths to bring us this wonderful prehistoric land through dedication of 8 million coins. It's well spent if you ask me. One the main new discoveries of this new lost area is one of two coasters, Flight Of The Pteranosaur. A veto a family suspended coaster which dominates the centre of the world. The rock work theming is superb and of high quality. And what a great family coaster this is. The coaster is great fun and interacts with the area superbly alongside a good proportion of theming. The end helix is also superb. As far as I'm aware the layout may be clone of another (maybe Grona's) but that doesn't take anything away from the ride which certainly looks to be a hit for the park. It's the perfect fun thrilling coaster for the family. Theming, with working animatronics. The second new coaster is the Veloceraptor. Another Vejoma, but this time a boomerang style coaster like Ben10. This is another superfluous coaster for the park and another fun ride. Whilst it doesn't beat Pteranosaur for me, I do prefer it to Ben 10 as this gives more a kick I think. But the area is more than just coasters though (listen Merlin). They also have one of these crazy fun spinning rides like the Crazy Taxis at Europa Park. This ones called Boulder Dash. This small Triceratops coaster, which I didn't get chance to ride ( ). Fact, this ride isn't actually brand new and was rethemed into the new area. It used be known as the Flying Frog I believe. They also have a Safari track ride too which is neat. Some very good theming here too. It's great to see park put so much effort into something just like this whilst a number of others (not naming) are either ripping theirs out or leaving them to rot. Best car style attraction in the uk by far. Theres also an interactive Dino show too, which is good to see the park not just focus on the ride side either. Plus there's some roaming dinosaur animatronics in the area too. They even have an area shop which is themed to a good level also. They've also added a new food place and smaller flat ride to the area too. Certainly making one of the best themed areas in the uk. Also in the park, resides my second home. Critter Creek. The theming quality they have here has been done very well, especially for a park like Paultons. And here is the Cat-O-pillar, which again has been rethemed into the new area. The theming again is fantastic, weird and wacky. The coaster was alright but not my favourite. The area is also home to a random aquarium type place. For a park like this, it's a nice little walk through. The park is also home to Cobra, arguably their signature ride. The queue line was a little shabby (spilt mess in the queue and a few areas of chipped pant), but that can be forgiven for the moment. There is even a shed tunnel, and that isn't the best part. Cobra is a really fun coaster and possibly my favourite ride at the park (either this or Pteranosaur). Two things to note about this ride are that it is a Gerstlauer, and an enjoyable one at that and that its 10 years old and was working fine. No lifeless structure here. Speaking on lifelss, this ride was shut (at least when we went passed it) which was a shame as it looked fun. They however have a Disko called The Edge (not Kobra) as Paultons know how to spell. This one is also run on a better setting too as you really get a good cycle. My only criticism are you were required to wear leg seat belts and mine was very tight. (Which ruined the experience in a way) and the ride doesn't feature much in terms of theming, but I'm sure that will be sorted one day. The park also have a 4D cinema which features a fairly quirky but nicely themed facade outside (not cheap looking). The movie itself was alright, nothing amazing but was nice for a sit down and seemed entertaining enough for the guests. Its no Angry Birds but is good for what it is especially being the only undercover attraction so far. The park even have a loverly grand carousel. Featuring some loverly shrubbery too. But the one thing park are famous for is Peppa Pig World, the investment (alongside Cobra) which have really helped the park develop in the last few years. Sadly I didn't anymore photos here because my phone's camera reached capacity but all I can say is, it's a loverly themed area for the park's clientele and the park got the right balance with everything there too. We only managed one ride in the area, that was Windy Castle. From the outside it looks like a little innocent spinning observation ride thing, think again! Peaj, Steve, Alex and I all shared one capsule and when you have no spin limits on a ride that also rotates upwards on a 4-5 minute cycle you're in for one hell of a white knuckle ride. it was honestly crazy and ridiculous how crazily fast we were all going here and whilst it was hilarious to start with, I'm certain my thrill limit has been reached as it felt very painful and comftable towards the end of the ride and pretty nauseated for the tail end of the day too. Think this has put me off tea cups for the time being. As much as things post 2006 have clearly marked the up for the park (moreso post 2010), there's still a fair few number of areas in the park that look bland and in need of an update. one of these is the park's log ride which is pretty much an off the shelf Reberchon. Considering this ride isn't even 20 years old does show how superior their new stuff is now. I could probably say the same for the Go Karts. I didn't try these either as I think there was an up charge. that being said, there isn't a massive amount of upselling at the park. Considering I didn't see any HB leisure stalls or any posters trying to persuade me to buy a pass. Although the park exit is deliberately through a massive toy shop, that is more a tactical decision (and a cunning one at that). But Paultons isn't just home to a decent selection of family rides. There's also a very reasonable amount of gardens and green spaces which help enhance a day here. Which made for a really enjoyable day out that was enjoyed by all. Unfortunately though Peaj was eaten by a giant hedge snake and hasn't been seen since. Paultons is definitely a loverly park and worth a visit. its a place that puts effort and dedication into everything they do. Whether that be building a giant new themed area, staff friendliness or keeping the place tidy (we saw someone pick up litter minutes after it was dropped). With the possible exception of Cobra's queue, everywhere was beautifully well kept with no signs of wear and tear anywhere and a good atmosphere throughout. The future for the park is bright and seeing the massive improvements they've made in the last few years (each one better than the last). All they need to do is build a proper flume and add a dark ride and they will then have a perfect full lineup. Whilst the park have little to nothing in terms of merchandise, I think they have it right by housing a massive toy shop at the exit which will no doubt be blissful joy for many of the kids (and a nightmare for many of their parents). Chessington step aside. This is what a family park should be. Jump in the boot and let's go!
  2. Following my eviction from the concrete jungle island during February, it was off to a whole new kind of Island. Where could we be going? Why to Adventure Island Southend of course! Where all the action is happening! Expect Lots Of Rage [is better than Saw The Ride] Plenty of Whip [a great little ride] A Helter Skelter of drama Fury from Pharaohs [it's just a standard twister really [but quite well themed] And extreme conflicting Time Machine [I didn't do this ride ] Peaj Branning & Ian Beale prepare for what is ahead A mighty Scorpion of pounding When you experience something like this, it can feel like you've had a whole bottle of wine once you come out of it. A bit like coming home from a manic house party [Crooked house is a fun attraction with lots of interactive bits] Which can be a right serpent of trouble Devils Creek [I think they named it after me ] Where Ian Beale plots something [we believe an evil mastermind plan of some kind] Whilst Dirty Den looks out for the ladies Whilst Jack and Adam [Phil] Mitchell prepare to fight [for the best spinning possible] Fireballs come and go Because there's always a Barnstorm in the square [my second favourite ride there] Matt [Creek] Branning approves of this. But there is more!!! AS a series of new film sets near completion for the next episode [This will be a new indoor park that's apparently going to be open all year round]. Jack Approves Moments later Peaj uses his secret weapon just as a series of beating drums end this episode. Critics Review [the serious bit] Adventure Island Southend is a loverly little park. Whilst it doesn't have the hardware thats Thorpe, Chessie & others have, it has a great series of lots of fun pleasant rides with Over The Hill, Barnstormer & The Crooked House for families and the likes of Rage, Time Machine, Vortex and numerous other spinning rides for the thrill seekers [this could be the 2nd best uk park for flats]. Staff here were very friendly and enthusiastic, the park was in general fairly well kept [we must remember this is a small independant park afterall] and the wristband was pretty reasonable which I bought at a discounted rate instead of the usual £27 . If you fancy something different from your usual Merlin parks in the south of England, this place may be somewhere worth visiting.
  3. Hello everyone, following the dramatic events of part 2, part 3 is now here to reveal more adventures involving the magnificent seven during their day out at Oakwood theme park. Previously on part 2, Peaj, Topsyturvy 15 & EC! were found guilty of a number of crimes and setanced to death on Vertigo. Now restrainted together, the Vertigo process begins with the trio strapped for their doom. The wires raise them higher and higher off the ground until the dropping process begins. Which after a few moments of freefall swinging are no more. However Peaj somehow survived the Vertigo and is suddenly revealed to be the next Doctor Who and decides to travel back in time. And brings back EC! & Topsyturvy back from the dead by rearranging the past. After this rather strange escapade, everyone agrees to forget about what happened and take a great big Soaking on Drenched. Ride 11/ Drenched [formerly Hydro] Despite it's dark past, Drenched is a brilliant ride how it suddenly rises up high drops down a bit and then begins the drop which is very exciting from the top as it then shoots down the drop taking you out of you seta for a short moment before landing below and creating a big splash which creates waces to only the sides of the ride. In comparison to Tidal Wave, I prefer this ride as though you get absolutely soaked, you get wet gradually which is more enjoyable than the sudden soaking you get on Tidal Wave, 9/10. After experiencing a drenching, it was time for the ultimate moment, to ride that impressive ride in the distance known as Megafobia. Only a few minutes away from the moment of truth, Matt Creek finds mixed feelings in the Megafobia queue before his first ever ride. Several minutes later, the magnificant riding begins where Matt Creek is about to ride his first ever wooden roller coaster. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=606669292717104&l=58d7689743 And here's the proof of the pudding showing Matt Creek's first ever woodie coaster ride which is perhaps the biggest themepark riding revolution since riding his first inversion coaster Nemesis Inferno in 2006. Meanwhile Topsy Turvy turns hippie on the ride whilst Jamiee accidentally slaps EC! in the face whilst riding. Ride 12/ Megafobia, This is a ride I have been waiting to experience for 15 years and the very long waiting time was definitely well worth it. The ride was fast, fierce and shot through the track at a fast pace flying through turns and drops throughout the ride. The coaster was rather bumpy but this made more for an exciting and organic ride. How does steel compare to wood? Wooden coasters are definitely more powerful,forceful and overall more organic due to roughness that is fluent within the ride however unlike rides like Colossus where this ruins the experience, this actually adds to the excitement and overall performance of the coaster altogether. After experiencing Megafobia I felt shook up for a little while of what I had just experienced but having a second go later in the day, absolutely loved the ride which is currently one of my favourite coasters in the present time, 10/10. So here's the end of part 3 where Matt Creek has finally achieved his mission, to ride a wooden coaster. But the story doesn't end there. Come back for part 4 shortly to find out what chaotic party the magnificent TPM 7 discover plus also what mysterious passage way is discovered within the park. p.s Due to various problems, the photographs in this report are of disapointing quality. Sorry for inconvenience casued.
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