Treasure Island

[Mega-Lite]

After my impressive trip to WMSP, I decided I'd hit up Stourport before heading home, to ride the cred at Treasure Island.

 

Not long after entering the town of Stourport however, my progress was dramatically slowed by the realisation I'd just joined the rear of a Scout's march through the town. For a good 5 minutes or so I followed at 4 mph, while the locals watching the parade gave me death stares and the Scouts at the back of the pack kept turning round with fear in their eyes. While all this awfulness was occurring I was frantically pissing about with the sat nav in hope it could reroute me, it couldn't though, that's a surprise. Thankfully they all turned down a side road in the end and I was free to give it the beans.

 

They say first impressions of a place go a long way, I don't know if I believe in that, but I do know my first impression of Treasure Island was hilarious. Turning off the main road, you enter a car park next to a body of disgusting water. The car park was full of broken glass (I do want new tyres, but not this way), sick, discarded and disgusting food and many youths. Dodging all of that crap, I slithered over to the parking machine and was insulted to discover it was 2 hours minimum, bastards. Then I leapt out of the way of a rude boy doing 90 in the car park as I walked back to stick the ticket on the car and then carefully made my way into the "park".

 

Can someone please explain to me why this place has carpeted pathways?

 

I walked to the cred and couldn't find the number of tokens listed anywhere around it. On my second lap of the coaster, assuming I'd just missed it, I looked around and noticed I was being glared at by not only 10000 old people but also many rude boys, time to change this plan up. I walked to the nearest ticket booth and asked the girl to just give me enough tokens for the cred please. She had her shoes off, feet on the desk, she sighed in disgust, then mumbled something about not being open... Right f**k this I thought and powered over to another ticket booth, this time getting lucky.

 

The lad operating the cred was fine, he needs to escape this place immediately however. As for the coaster itself, it had more airtime than Shambhala. Back row of a fully weighed down train and I was almost murdered by the damn thing!

 

 

Getting out of the car park was even harder than getting in. Idiot old people totally not giving a s**t walking infront of me as I pulled away and then 10 chavs in a Peugeot almost reversing into me as I drove off, then blaming me for it, this place doesn't want me to leave.

 

If you're in the area with kids, do yourself a favour and just take them to the new Tesco for the afternoon.

 

Thanks for reading.