Mon voiture c'est penne! - Petits Parks of France - Day 1
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Day 1 – Parc Saint Paul
A rather early morning of 3am was the choice made to venture to a selection of rather un-known French parks, and after a McDonald’s service station breakfast and a quick jaunt on the Eurotunnel we were firing down the French motorway with not a care in the world.
Unfortunately, disaster would strike us. We began to hear noises from the car, and decided to pull over on the hard shoulder to investigate. After some initial checks, we agreed to move the car forward slightly to see if there was truly something wrong, and it refused to start up.
Many calls were made and eventually a mechanic (who of course, spoke no English) turned up, and made that classic intake of breath noise that all mechanics do that tend to signify that the car/vehicle is completely buggered.
We were taken to a nearby garage, and made the decision that €2000 for a new gearbox was not worth the money at all, so we would leave the car forever in France, grab a hire car and continue with our adventure post-haste. The garage were very helpful to us especially given the language barrier, however Demi Lovato’s version of “Let It Go” was not particularly appreciated by myself.
We got a taxi to a hire car place and after many a hasty phone call from the guy working there we were eventually given a Volkswagen UP! So after a delay of about two hours we continued on our adventure to Parc Saint Paul.
Upon arrival, our expectations of the place were not high, especially as their new Vekoma Junior coaster was being spiteful and not open. Nevertheless we headed to our first coaster of the trip, a Wacky Worm. Joyous! This one however was very well themed, with lots of statues, a very giant apple and even astroturf. Of course, it was still a Wacky Worm.
Next up in the actual coaster department was the Wild Train, my first Pax coaster (who aren’t exactly known for being good). And the slight launch out the station worried us greatly as to how awful this ride might be, so to say it exceeded all possible expectations would be rather accurate. It was certainly wild, with a fair amount of airtime and reasonable Gs about, with a hint of re-rideability, which is always a bonus in my book.
We meandered further into the park, and decided the spinny mouse could be done later because it had an awful queue (which didn’t get any better unfortunately) and went onto the next Pax coaster, Formule 1. Unsurprisingly, it’s themed to Formula 1, with the different cars based off different manufacturers, and a scary statue of Schumacher at the entrance. It’s also a slight rip-off of the Gerstlauer Bobsleds, with a much steeper lift and a more insane experience, with over-banked turns being the main culprit of this. Again it was rather enjoyable ride, if slightly terrifying.
We wandered a bit further into the park, discovering that it wasn’t all quite run-down as we expected it to look within. There was a fair amount of woodland, lakes and even some buildings taken straight out of Lightwater Valley. It’s very family set with more for the kids, but we saw tonnes of BBQ sets for people to come and cook their own food, and it did have a rather lovely atmosphere.
Back to the rides, Mini Mouse Cartoon was next, which is a Zamperla Mini Mouse or something. It makes a Wacky Worm look interesting that’s all I know. +1
Next door to that was Telepherique, which was by far the most amazing thing ever created by a French person. It’s a platform led zip line, only in (such a) cred format. It involves a lot of spinning, swinging and swearing (and even crashing in some cases, like with me). Part of that old “Never in the UK” ideal, I thought it was brilliant, but the others not so much.
We headed back to the Souris Verte Spinning Wild Mouse of boredom, having endured the queue of burdenous times. I’m so bored of these now it’s not true. Again, +1
We then decided to go and see the Tiger show, to which those who visited Bagatelle and seen their Lion show had “I have seen things” moments as a result. However only two of the tigers looked like they wanted to eat the fat French man who was flicking them with a whip. Fortunately there was no maiming of the fat French man (or unfortunately, dependant on opinion of such animal shows), so we were able to continue on our journey via a Giant Slide.
As John and Peter did the horror house thingy, we meandered around the House of Mirrors, which wasn’t very entertaining. After they returned, we went into the 3D Walkthrough, which was actually quite epic and looked tonnes better than Hocus Pocus Hall even did. We then marvelled at the themed bins and doors as we had some ice cream.
We had another go on the Formula 1 coaster, before me and John did the Drop Tower of Forever – Extreme Edition, which decided it would go from slow to fast to slow again during the trip up the tower, which was equally hilarious and burdenous. I don’t think my laughter was appreciated by the randomer next to us though who was unsure about the whole thing. When it did get to the top, the drop was instantaneous, so it was all a bit weird. Good though. We finished this with another go on the Wild Train before heading off for a long drive down to our hotel, but not before a quick character photo!
Overall, the park exceeded our (admittedly lower than low) expectations of it. It’s very much like Lightwater (but tinier), and whilst it had a fair amount of rides dumped in places, they did make an attempt to make them look really nice. Hopefully the park can continue on a positive trajectory in the future, because we certainly enjoyed ourselves.
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