Dymchurch Has A Cred!

[Mega-Lite]

While online searching for a new best friend, I stumbled on something much more important, Dymchurch has a cred! Immediately I put plans in motion to ride this beast...

 

This Sunday just gone was the day of reckoning and it began with having a Mc10:35, I'll admit I don't see the appeal or even understand the logic but for about 2 minutes I felt one with the youth of today and that's priceless.

 

From said McDonalds it was a one and a half hour drive to Dymchurch, which is in the arse end of Kent if you didn't know and as always, this drive was quite a memorable one.

 

On the M20, I was viciously tailgated by no less than 3 Belgium registered 4X4s, all 3 of them with damage front and rear, implying I was not their first victim. Now I know Plopsa and Bobbejaanland are God awful and I've made my opinions on them very public but Christ, is murder really the answer? On the up side, if I did die at least I wouldn't have to get a mortgage...

 

I left the safety (or lack thereof) of the motorway at Ashford and from there on was at the mercy of the sat nav. As previously mentioned my sat nav hates me, so of course things went to hell quite quickly. For the last 15 MILES of the journey, I was driving on single track dirt roads, shouting so loudly at the sat nav I may have disturbed the sheep in the adjacent field. For the last 6 MILES of the journey, I had 10 women in bright pink shirts cycling infront of me, taking up the whole dirt road, refusing to pull over and let me pass. For the last 4 MILES of the journey, the women were still refusing to allow me to pass and now a white van was tailgating (I didn't see if he was Belgium), honking and shouting abuse, if Mr Garmin isn't already dead, he's just made my list. To end it's reign of terribleness, I wasn't taken to the car park I asked for and was instead taken to a dead end housing estate, where the locals stared in disgust as I did a 3 point turn on a man's driveway and wheel spun away, still shouting at the sat nav.

 

None of that mattered though, as I finally found my way to that car park, paid for parking, avoided the sketchy man scratching his balls in public and went out to explore the great town of Dymchurch.

 

It turns out, Dymchurch might be the most deprived place I've ever visited. This is all I managed to find on my walk to the amusements, 3 charity shops, a sweet shop, the smallest Tesco's in the World, a pub and a restaurant. I don't know what I was expecting really but my plans of "going round town" after getting the cred were now spited.

 

Undeterred I walked into the amusement park with my head held high.

 

 

 

Much like Dymchurch the place, the "park" was absolutely tiny and had nothing else of interest to me apart from the cred, they used to have a really screwed up looking tiny log flume that looked worth a go but sadly that's long gone.

 

I paid my £2.40 (I've got your back Benin) and went to experience Dymchurch's first ever cred and what a beast she was. A brand new wacky worm, with a tyre driven lift AND station (no more push starts!). It would be fair to say it wasn't running as well as some other wacky worms I've ridden but I'll put that down to it still bedding in.

 

 

After this I visited the smallest Tesco's ever before getting back on the road and heading to Thorpe.

 

Thanks for reading.

[alexander]

Dymchurch reminds me of my holidays to the caravan in Kent when I was a wee boy. I got stuck on the ghost train there and had to be escorted off. Good times. Good read.

[Benin]

£2.40 makes me cry...

 

It's probably still a nicer place than Hemsby...