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Benin

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  1. Benin
    Day 1
    What better way to spend the UK closed season than by visiting a park that doesn’t close? Goodbye depressing Merlin situations and hello Efteling, who certainly are the opposite end of the ownership scale, what with being owned by a non-for-profit organisation who happily throw €42 million on a show.
    So a blustery Saturday morning greeted us, with a flight to remember as the winds took hold of our plane throughout, providing an intense experience I never wish to repeat again in my life. But fortunately the flight was short and Rotterdam was reached (just). A bus to the train station, a train to Tilburg and another bus (Total of about 90 minutes travel time, especially if you get the connections right), and we had reached our destination of the Efteling Hotel!



    We got our park tickets and through the super secret mini-gate we were in, greeted by a DJ Set-up in front of our first coaster, Vogel Rok. This Vekoma indoor variant is hidden behind a fantastic entrance background and a giant animatronic bird welcoming you into his giant building. A short indoor queue led us into the station and the cattlepen of death (Efteling LOVE hidden cattlepens of death, fortunately we used none of them), and before long we were sat on the ridiculously spacious seats (pros of lap-bars of OTSRs on a Vekoma, given the way Space Mountain at DLP is), and sent off into the pitch black.


    The ride itself is fun, with a few laser effects and animatronics dotted around as you swoop around the building accompanied by some fantastic music. Very re-rideable (as we found out during the ERT sessions for hotel guests), and probably the smoothest Vekoma I’ve ever ridden. Solid ride and a solid start for Efteling.
    7/10


    Next door was our first dark ride in Carnival Festival, which is a Small World rip-off in Omnimover form. A really fascinating dark ride; and something that seems to be an institution in Efteling as Bubbleworks once was to Chessington. Catchy theme music, bright colours, moving sets/animatronics, this ride has it all, even some good old-fashioned racism (bless Continental Europe) fill this tour of the world up, from Holland to France (complete with prostitute), London, Japan and Africa; certainly a classic example of a classic style dark ride.











    Moving on from the area in search of other coasters, we wandered through the park to the opposite corner, taking in the lovely setting of lakes and woodland, before arriving at our second Vekoma, Python.


    In classic Vekoma white and green, this ride is famous for THAT incident where during an evacuation on the lift hill the train suddenly moved forward due to the unloading procedure. Since then though, it’s had the new Vekoma trains added on with a sexy looking vinyl finish to it.

    The new trains help this ride a lot though, whilst not as smooth as Vogel, it was certainly the best Vekoma looping thing I’ve been on in a while. Can all of the existing ones have these trains please? A decent helix finale too, but an amazingly bland layout cannot be held up by such an alright finish.
    6/10

    Efteling have a coaster corner, with Python, Flying Dutchman (closed for off-season maintenance during our visit, so didn’t get to ride it), and Joris en de Draak, the racing GCIs.


    At the end of last year I thought Stampida was the best example of a well designed (at least, initially) racing style coaster, however, Joris has taken over that mantle exceedingly well, with a layout that is atypical of GCI, and adding in a finish that is often tighter than Merlin’s purse-strings. Even added onto that is the return of the trains to the station; where the winner returns to unfurling banners and cheers, whilst the loser trots in afterwards to boos and jeers. Simple additions that would be deemed as unnecessary in certain parks, but not here; and obviously capped off by a giant animatronic dragon that breathes fire.



    The choices here are Water and Fire, and generally they don’t differ that much until after the journey back over the station. With the usual array of quick turns, airtime dips and near-misses, it was hard to determine which of the two was preferred to the other. Water tends to gain some lead, but the finale removes that as it goes on a longer journey around the lake next door, where Fire holds back into tighter turns and drops (arguable holding the best drop of both as it dives under the lift hills). In the end they are both excellent coasters, and certainly with the 1.1m restriction they fit into Efteling immensely well. I also get the feeling that Europa were inspired by it slightly, as the swampy queue-line looked very familiar.
    9/10




    We continued our circuit around the park, walking the long way around due to the mass of construction happening at the Rapids, ending next at the final coaster of the trip, Bob, the Intamin Bobsleigh. I remember enjoying Disaster Transport before Cedar Point spited it so I was looking forward to riding another one. An enjoyable romp through the woods followed, with some surprisingly large drops and some fair amount of lateral Gs. Part of me thinks that these single car versions are better than Mack’s multiple car trains, mainly down to the speed this one achieved, but Avalanche at Blackpool is similar. Oh well, either way, a solid enough ride.
    7/10

    How to refurb your ride 101


    Pictures of Bob are extremely difficult
    We were hungry at this point, so food was required, and there was a place I had been told (read, ordered) to eat at, Polle’s Keuchen. A pancake place of sheer and utter deliciousness that you so rarely see in a theme park. Heavily themed with a central feature that spun in time to music, open cooking area, waiter service and a bar, all for one little pancake place? Truly, this is the stuff of rare legend.






    After stuffing ourselves full of pancake goodness, a dark ride was required, so step forward Fata Morgana, Efteling’s answer to Pirates of the Caribbean. From an unassuming queueline of relative blandness around the loading platform, into one of the most well themed dark rides I’ve seen. It uses the tow boat system to its complete advantage, making the scenes feel a lot more involving of the rider for the majority, yet still managed to pull off the impressive large set pieces off as well. Plus some excellent bonus effects were used throughout it.
    I’ve never been so surprised by a dark ride since Gardaland’s pirate effort, but this is another level. This is truly Disney level dark ride goodness, which resulted in me sitting in awe of the entire thing.



    Yay for random park entertainment!
    We had a quick look at the main entrance building (House of the 5 Senses, the most impressive park entrance architecturally speaking) before moving along to the opposite corner of the park again, home to 3 of Efteling’s well-known attractions (unfortunately Ravelijn, the €42 million show, was closed, but the outside of it looks incredible).




    From one amazing dark ride, to another, this time Dreamflight, an inverted dark ride with an extremely bland cattlepen queue of death (apparently it was once actually themed and didn’t use a side-door) and a station that shared its locale with a café (a very weird one there Efteling), so not the most enticing of starts.


    Then the ride begins. And after the impressiveness of Fata Morgana, this continued the theme, I was once again blown away by the details, multiple animated characters, the size of the set pieces, and of course the infamous coaster-like finale. It had recently had a bit of a refurb, which did show, but still, my first ride of it, full of the unknown led to even more jaw-dropping moments as gigantic set-pieces revealed themselves. Again, this was some Disney level stuff going on, if not vastly superior.







    This photo is blurry because it’s the coaster section

    After a second go on Dreamflight, it was time for another famous one in Villa Volta, the first Vekoma Madhouse. Said to be one of the best ones, it unfortunately suffers from the same issues as the rest, dialogue heavy story-telling. Granted, most Madhouse stories are reduced to “The place is cursed”, but the interesting part is always, “Why is the place cursed?” “Why did the Earl lock up a branch?” “Why is there a Pervy Wizard?” all important questions that rarely get answered if you don’t speak the local lingo.
    Villa Volta’s first room is an exceptionally bad example of this, as the dialogue comes from speakers in the roof, so you have nothing but people talking about the feared Goat-Riders. The next room improves slightly with the addition of Hugo, the main character and his fabulous animatronic (again, Disney standard), but it still involves a LOT of dialogue. Hex is probably the only Madhouse which manages to get the balance right, as the first pre-show has the accompanying video to tell the story, and the second show has minimal dialogue and is obvious as to what is happening.
    The ride room though is beautifully themed, and a slightly different (and more forceful) ride cycle to go with it. The music is another feather in the bow of the ride, with another catchy theme which fits the ride perfectly. I would easily say Hex is a better overall product that Volta, but that’s not to say it is bad, indeed, it’s better than its Italian cousins and Feng Ju Palace. But the dialogue is the issue more than the ride itself.


    Projection Mapping screens live here



    We had some time to kill so we wandered around to the Laaf Village and did their Monorail thing, which was alright, a very required sit-down attraction. Another go on Vogel Rok followed as we were nearby before walking back to the park entrance for Aquanura, Efteling’s answer to World of Colour, only without projections and just pure fountain action so amazing Amanda Thompson would never leave it alone.
    Set to various classical music and some of the park’s own music (Villa Volta, Ravelijn, Carnival Festival), it really is a fantastic show, though the wind at this point was problematic and got us extremely wet in the “Optimal Viewing Area”. Nowhere near as bad as watching Disney Dreams in a blizzard that’s for certain, but the timing, colours and various fountain type (and FIRE, because it makes everything better) worked together to create an entertaining spectacle.




    And that was it for the first day, finding an empty park was not what I was expecting, as was getting every major ride done in a few hours. But we still had 2 whole days, and a Fairytale Forest to visit, so we checked into the hotel, had a nice meal and looked forward to another day of pancakes.

  2. Benin
    So I’ve discussed the UK parks, but what about the foreign ones I visited? Well here we goooooo!
    Disneyland Paris
    Well it snowed, oh BOY did it snow. Not that it ruined the enjoyment of course, there’s nothing more hilarious than riding Tower of Terror, getting to the top and the doors opening to a mini-blizzard. The park did extremely well dealing with the heavy snow and I take my hat off for the way they dealt with our booked restaurant situation.
    The parks were their usually selves really, though it’s hard to judge due to the weather playing havoc with staff numbers and rides in operation. The real highlight of the trip was the Tower of Terror staff, which were constantly fantastic and provided the funniest moments of the week.
    Also Disney Dreams, which is fantastic <3
    Denmark
    This was an exciting trip, especially to somewhere rarely visited by enthusiasts and had a fair share of ups and downs over the week. Although really it peaked from the offset with Eurovision-mania taking a real hold on Copenhagen and Tivoli in particular. Other highlights from Tivoli were Vertigo (terrifying thing of DOOM), the cuteness of Daemonen and the absolutely awesome Fun House. Classic Rusty Banana was an instant hit with us too, proving you don’t have to have all the latest technological advancements in the last 100 years to be a good ride.
    Unfortunately the next two parks were not very good, Bakken in particular we all loathed and spent 2 hours there. Bon-Bon Land had one joke and it wasn’t very good, although the drop towers were an amusing time as was Fantasy World, the rest of the park was just mediocrity beyond measure (Fabbri Giant Swing aside ride-wise).
    Bakken was just dire. That simple, with the worst Intamin in existence within its grounds (yes worse than Baco, having now experienced it I can give that opinion) in the shape of Tornado, which wasn’t even the worst ride in the park, as their Rusty Banana had been Kumbak’d. I shudder just thinking about them. And you know there’s something wrong when your best ride is a flat, and after you’ve spent the morning at the Carlsberg factory.
    Fortunately, the other island proved more fruitful in our ride endeavours. Legoland was quite good; with the Robo-Arms probably the best ride there, although the Powered Dragon and Polar X-Plorer were both very suitable rides for the park. Viking River Splash was also pretty good, I look forward to their dark ride attempt next year mind, which looks AMAZE <3
    Djurs Sommerland was the best park out of the 6. It had the best rides, the best dogs roaming the park; it had the best play-areas (bouncy pillows for the win). It was quite simply, very, very good. The standard of theming was surprisingly high for the only traditional theme park (bar Lego) we visited, and Piraten and JOYvelen were certainly worth the admission fee. JOYvelen especially was a complete surprise to us, as we weren’t expecting such a solid family coaster, but that’s what we got, and more parks need to buy one.
    We finished with Farup Sommerland, which was a random place, filled with a lot more play areas, including the hour long adventure course. Lynet and Falken were good coasters, but we were spited by Orkanen unfortunately, as that looked quite good fun too. The park played well upon the family picnic market it seemed to, and it was a decent enough closure to our trip.
    Overall we rode the best AND worst Intamins in the world. No mean feat for a country like Denmark.
    Belgium, Part 1
    My first trip to Belgium was partly cultural, with Bruges being involved. But why be cultural when you can ride creds?
    First up was Bellewaerde, a weird Chessington like park, only not falling apart at the seams and a relatively decent zoo to go with it. The main headline was a Zierer family coaster, Huracan, which had an epic random dark ride section, but not a very good ride section. Considering the space they had available, it was a disappointment really. Fortunately the rest of the park was quite good really, with the Boomerang being smooth and the support rides being of a decent enough quality to suit the park.
    Bagatelle was the next port of call since I had never been before. My 300th coaster is now Triops, a Vekoma Invertigo, which was quite good but not as landmark as X (Six Flags) or Beast. The park is pretty poor really (Soquet are NOT a good manufacturer of rides), aside from the best Rapids in the world with their amazing whirlpool of spinning. When you actually lose 5 seconds of a ride due to the complete insanity of it all, you know it’s good. Even if the rest of the ride is a bit meh, it makes it all the more better as you focus on that one element.
    Not the best parks in the world really, but easy enough to access really.
    Coney Island
    Over in New York for another cultural trip (though that’s up for debate when it comes to the USA), and a jaunt over to Luna Park brought to you by Zamperla for the classic Wooden coaster.
    And it wasn’t very good. A real shame really as it had some promise, but after the first two turnarounds it developed into a rough and painful experience. Perhaps the hurricane had something to do with that though?
    The rest of the park was unsurprisingly, mediocre; what with everything being a Zamperla, and my first experience of a Volare was one of sheer hatred. It was also VERY expensive, but Nathans was made of joy <3
    Port Aventura
    God bless the Spanish austerity issues, especially if the park is going to have such deals on the hotels and unlimited Express passes! So off we went to sunny Halloween Spain and experience two fantastic B&Ms and 1 god-awful Intamin. I won’t repeat myself much as the TR is still relatively fresh, but it was a good fun weekend overall, though the park needs some lofty improvements and to get rid of Baco post-haste.
    Belgium 2 – Rock n Plop
    Even more recently was another jaunt to Belgium to experience more Halloween events. Walibi’s is quite famous and it was also another excuse to go back to Plopsaland because Anubis <3
    We shocked a Belgian enthusiast when we all loved Psyke Underground because it’s FAB, as well as enjoyed the new branding, the ridiculous number of actors (40 in one maze alone) and the music battle show. This is a good park with a fair amount of potential but problematic neighbours.
    Plopsaland has Anubis, therefore it’s FAB <3 Also the new land was amazing and has an awesomely themed Disko Coaster. Again, the TR is still around so check that out for further details.
    Overall, a decent year of parks for me, particularly abroad, where only 2 were really bad (as in, worse than Chessington bad). And so far next year’s plans are really looking to expand on things as well, which is a good thing considering none of the UK parks at the moment are looking to deliver anything worthwhile visiting for.
    Roll on 2014!
  3. Benin
    So we come to the end of what has been a rather disappointing year in the UK (there’s no two ways about that) it was up to the park’s abroad to show us how to do things, and that is something they most certainly did.
    United Kingdom
    I didn’t actually visit any non-Merlin UK parks this year, I nearly made it to Mingoland but fortunately that didn’t pan out.
    The additions to the Merlin parks sounded good (at least if you weren’t Thorpe, who seemingly cannot think of suitably well thought out additions when not building a roller coaster), with Zufari being inspired from one of the most engaging Disney rides, and Smiler’s secretive and fantastic advertising showing that when they put their minds to it our parks can advertise things properly. But what went wrong?
    Alton Towers
    This one is clear, Smiler was both the best and worst thing about this year for Towers. The positives are simple, it is the biggest ride that has been built in the country for years, it captured the imagination of the public, it is a marvel of engineering/construction, the advertising was going well, it clearly boosted the park attendances upon opening. It was what people wanted.
    Unfortunately, whoever Towers hired to build the thing probably appeared on that BBC show that sort out dodgy companies in a previous life. The list is longer than the Ultimate of what went wrong, the primary issues surrounding the ground it was built on being surveyed incorrectly which meant they had to delay half the construction in order to concrete the ride it properly. Then of course the winter decided to throw snow onto the matter, delaying it further. Subsidence, flooding, storms, incorrect placement of track, aligning issues, etc. were also major influences on the ride’s construction. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ride construction be so flawed and have so many external issues added on.

    One of the few track pieces inserted correctly...
    Then of course, the ride opened, then closed, then opened again, then threw bolts at people. Gerstlauer’s biggest project became the world’s biggest pain, which is a real shame because the ride itself is fantastic (although still the 3rd best ride on the park), but the rushed construction, poor planning and awful contractors will be this ride’s legacy, in amongst the countless breakdowns and the like.
    Elsewhere on park, it was a weird situation, as Smiler made the park rather top-heavy in investment. Constant other issues like storms, poor ride reliability and powercuts meant that the park didn’t particularly have good PR for the season (see also the July Smiler breakdown which wasn’t communicated until about 3 days before it re-opened). However, what has been a shining light this year has been the entertainments department, which involved the fantastic pirate show with Roger Ramrod, the new Park Keepers who eventually got a vehicle to tour in, the Orchestra in the Summer; a relatively decent array of stuff for Halloween and the Fireworks. For our parks, where shows are particularly high on the agenda, these were a real joy to see happen; and easily the best part of the year for Towers. I hope that this continues on into the future more than anything.

    Fantastic ride, a legacy of issues...
    Chessington
    Where does one begin? Zufari ended up being a cluster of good ideas badly executed in the worst possible way. Bunnygate. Runaway Train was SBNO all season. Dragon Falls lost its theming. Rameses died. Vampire’s operations got worse somehow. Across the board the park was quite simply, dreadful, and will probably see a very low attendance figure this season (more than usual at any rate).

    Just when you thought Chessie couldn't get any worse... 2013 happened...
    The Halloween event was probably the best week of their season, and even then the not-so-late openings and general park issues couldn’t be ignored. Most of the theming was non-existant based on previous years attempts. Their two mazes were excellent value for their minimal budget though, with Hocus Pocus Hall’s refurb being a complete surprise. However, that cannot skim over the fact that the park has easily been the worst one this year, and with nothing to look forward to next year (though this can be brought to all Merlin parks, though Towers will get LOTS of guests next year), I simply cannot get excited for it.
    Thorpe
    In a strange turn of events, the park that did nothing of real value (Mraws is still a poorly designed gimmick and X really isn’t that special) did the most by doing what they should’ve been doing for years. Expanding the social network side and using it to their full potential, whilst creating new events (some which worked well, some which didn’t, Summer Nights variated beyond belief as to the quality of the event, although popularity was non-existant, which isn’t the best indicator of the worthiness of an event from the park’s POV) and just generally keeping a decent improved profile this year.

    This was the Ice Scream event...
    Will it improve matters completely? It’s hard to tell, as currently the park’s portfolio of rides and attempt at a new direction are very much at odds at each other whilst they also have to get rid of the old image of unreliable rides (which Slammer doesn’t help), long queues and Fastrack over-selling on a regular basis. The two former issues still exist on the park, even with the random attempt at complete Virtual Queuing for Swarm, which still seemed to have plenty of teething problems.
    Fright Nights apparently existed, although that wasn’t particularly clear even when visiting the park during it advertised (the second time of the year an advertised event didn’t exist, Ice Scream I’m looking at you). The park-wide theme amounted to a CAD entrance sign, film music and the same announcement on every ride with Detonator being the only modified version. The roaming actors were very good though, both sets (Director and You’re Next), but it just didn’t feel like there was an event going on, which is very disappointing when the park was calling it “the UK’s answer to HHN”, that has plenty of theming on the park, Thorpe did not.
    Apparently the mazes were good (or not so good, opinions varied across the board for both Thorpe and Towers’ attempts), although my experience of Blair Witch Project was simply diabolical. Fortunately for it Walibi’s Zombie River exists, which was worse, but not by much.

    Thorpe let me know in no uncertain terms that my feedback is always appreciated...
    PR aside, the park has advanced to doing the basic minimum I want from our parks. But they made a lot more effort this year to improve the guest interaction and issues, which can only be considered a good thing. Just hope that this extends further in Thorpe’s DNA and also to the other parks.
    Legoland
    Legoland still exists for some reason. Miniland is an absolute TIP and needs fixing up as standard. Elsewhere it’s still the usual meh place really with nothing spectacular going on. It really needs a decent new ride in there. Well themed high throughput coaster preferably, but currently I do wonder why I bothered going at all. Still, not that worst park of the season.
    In another post, I’ll look at all the International parks I visited. Check back soon.
  4. Benin
    In what will probably be an unsurprising development, our 2nd park of the weekend was Plopsaland, because we all love it to bits.


    It also has an immense amount of new things at the place this year, from a new MASSIVE theatre, two new rides in a newly themed area, and two rethemed rides (the kiddie cred and onion boats) which is really fantastic to see. Add this to the hotel development which is on-going and it does seem like the park is going places.


    They had a good amount of Halloween stuff going on as well, and numerous walking characters because why not? We faffed about the entrance area and K3 Museum before the park opened and we headed over to Vleermuis, the Batflyer since I had only the one side of it and both are separate creds (cue arguments). I forgot how much of a burden it was to get into it and I eventually sat in the child seat. Urgh. Still, plus 1.



    After this we meandered a bit and found the Lapins, a bunny variant on the infamous porn ponies, so naturally we had to ride them because they’re FAB.




    It was then time for our favourite ride on park, Anubis, which has led to us becoming quite massive fans of the TV show (Nickelodeon’s version, not the Dutch one) and very goony about it. Hell, we even played the Board Game in the hotel on the Friday night. Either way, the ride is still very good, aside from the awful rattle you get off the launch; everything else is pretty damn smooth. It also gains points for finale in-line times.




    Up next was the brand new Wickieland and its two new rides. On my last visit this was but a circus tent, but now it’s a lovely themed area with one of the best themed flat rides I’ve ever seen. We first did the Splash Battle of Burden, as the queue is unfinished and people waiting to get off can just fire at you without fear of retribution. In addition to that, you can also get people on the Disko Coaster, which is a hilarious concept indeed. The ride itself was a Splash Battle though, so nothing special really.



    The Disko was next, and unsurprisingly that too rode like one, only sans bouncing which disappointed me slightly. However it does look immense and puts Kobra to absolute shame.





    We fancied a bit of dark ride action so went to the Forest of Plop, which is still as fab and weird as before. We also petted a moody cow in the farm area before electing to have some food because hungry times were abound. This resulted in Waffles of JOY <3





    After the waffles we went into Maya Land, which is a lovely indoor themed area. We did the Slide before the Waterlillies (a Demolition Derby) and finishing on the Flying Flowers of Burden, which were Dumbos but with annoying water fountains. Mergh.






    We decided for another 2 goes on Anubis before heading off towards the newly partially rethemed area. It so far looks a lot better than it did 2 years ago that’s for certain, and hopefully when they finish doing the other coaster and the Teacups it’ll look even better. We did the Onion Boats and found a rubber ducky before Victor’s Race, a Zierer Tivoli with very happy planets and a dinosaur control box.




    It was then time for the first show in the new Theatre, and the entire park seemingly decided to go and see it. It was our first glimpse into the new building and all I can say is wow. There is a MASSIVE reception area which can be used for business functions and probably the hotel in the future. Then inside the theatre itself it looks fantastic, with comfy seats and just all modern stuff. Pete the Pirate was the show in question with a Halloween theme, and the guy doing it was the same who appears in the TV show and epic looking Film. Chalk another for the European park shows, as it had catchy shows and typical kid-friendly amusements.


    We then went in search of other shows, but this led us to the amazing doughy balls of sugary joy! They even had raw dough within them! OM-NOM-NOM!

    The Roller-Skater was next, with it’s weird theme and covered in old theming from the rethemed Zierer. The painting techniques on the back of the washing machine were fab though.


    Into the Castle area and we watched the Witches show, which involved dancing, interaction and sweeties! After a quick run around on Draak, the Mack powered coaster of epic music and weird layout, we sat down for the Ron and Jon show. This was basically a lot of slapstick between two guys which was then exacerbated by a giant monkey of WHY?! It was still quite funny though and it was nice to see a show we could understand.






    After that it was 2 more goes on Anubis, a bit of shopping and the journey home. We could’ve stayed for the last show, but I think Walibi took a lot out of us the day before.

    Unfortunately our trip home was a disaster, as we were turned around from the EuroTunnel due to a stuck train to the ferry, which was delayed so we had to wait around 2 hours to even leave the country, by which point the trains had started up again. Then the ferry was a burden as well. And the rain, the constant miserable rain. URGH. Got back at 12:30 Monday morning and went straight to bed, making a disappointing end to a fantastic weekend.
  5. Benin
    So after a month of going to all the Merlin Halloween events the ‘last’ weekend of the month needed to be something different. As such, discussions were had and plans put in place for a quick jaunt over the Channel on a Friday afternoon to enjoy a weekend of Belgian creds and scary things.
    The Saturday was at Walibi, which has had an interesting life it must be said, and recently rebranded itself to a rather different park theme of a music band.



    They also hold one of Belgium’s premier Halloween events, including a character who has a 5 year history as part of the event, roams the park hurling abuse at people and is on Facebook. The event is so popular that the two days prior to our visit the park had to close early due to capacity reasons. Fortunately, as John had been talking to local enthusiasts, we had purchased the R.I.P (in peace) passes.

    These were €35 (or €25 on other days depending on opening hours) and got you Fastrack on 5 rides of your choosing, all the scare mazes, a visit to the Zombie Bar, priority seating area for Fireworks and 10% off in shops. Limited to 500 a day, this certainly screamed value for money, especially when there are 2 hour queues involved.
    The park opened at 10 to begin the 11 hour day, and we headed right to the opposite end of the park to the most famous ride in Belgium…
    Psyke Underground
    It’s a Schwarzkopf Shuttle Loop! Yaaaay! This has had a chequered history as well, including stalls, being put semi-indoors, noise complaints, closure, etc. But this year the park enclosed the entire thing and added a bit of theming to make it fit the ‘music park’ theme. They also turned the launch into LSMs, which made me happy.
    The queue was non-existent, so we were straight on and ready to go. A small pre-show occurs (although little context is provided to what’s going on) and we’re slowly set off on our way to a countdown.
    The launch then kicks in.
    Chalk another win up for rolling LSM launches above the other types, as you are propelled into the darkness and through the classically intense loop before heading up the first spike and then repeat the loop backwards, dash through the station with strobes going off and slightly up the backwards spike before returning back into the station.
    It’s simple, effective; it’s rather good in fact. I do hope that the park’s plans to continue improving the experience (the outdoor portion of the queue is dull, and could be turned into a disco scene, more lights and a requirement to play the rather epic soundtrack are also required) come to fruition, because it really is the best coaster on the park.
    7/10



    We rode it a second time in the front (because the ride experience really differs on your row), before heading off in search of other rides. Firstly, we hit up the Zierer Tivoli for 3 laps of +1, whilst next door was a dark ride I was quite interested in experiencing.
    Challenge of Tutankhamon
    A Sally trackless dark ride with multiple (3) possible endings and lots of awesome effects? Where do I sign up?
    This in the end was quite cool, and we managed to get the super-secret bonus ending first time around. Horray for us! There was however no fire which was disappointing. However most of the animatronics and other effects were very good. Be interesting to see what they do with this considering how it doesn’t fit in at all to the new branding.
    We next headed into the Wild West area, where Calamity Mine awaited, a Vekoma Mine Train of the standard two lift hill clone type. It was alright I guess; nothing really special to write home about. With the rumours surrounding the Western area in general however the ride could look damn awesome next year.


    Continuing our walk back to the park entrance we went into the 4D Cinema in French as we thought we might understand it better.
    We didn’t, but it was quite a decent show unique to the park’s brand. Decent level of effects without resorting to the burdenous leg ticklers either. Good.
    We then met up with Kristof, local Walibi enthusiast extraordinaire before deciding to go on Cobra, which he quickly backed out of. It is a Vekoma Boomerang after all, but certainly not the worst one I’ve ever done. Again this area of the park had a strange Arabian theme going on, a reminder of the park’s Six Flags days. Hopefully the park will get to a stage where all of the park is themed to WAB.



    We ventured ahead into the Palace of the Genie which was unsurprisingly a Madhouse. It made no sense at all as to what was going on, which is always a problem with Madhouses and their stories, more often than not they are too wordy to get across to us ignorant English people. However the alternative effects inside were decent and quite subtle in a way to finish the story. We’re still spoilt by Hex though.

    It was then time for the Music Battle Show, which was new for this year. There was a lot of pre-show pissing about due to some technical issues but eventually the show did start and it was pretty awesome. With awesome projection mapping and standard stunt show stunts before a decent finale. It was certainly worth watching and makes me wish we could have such things.



    Nic is SUCH a goon


    We broke for lunch at an Italian place, which was ok, before heading off to the Zombie Bar which was literally located on the park’s lake, to which you had to cross a bridge to access it. There we met Jeroen, another enthusiast who works quite high up on the park. We had our free drink and nattered for some time, being interacted with the Zombies as well for a good while. A very entertaining and unique idea, and probably the best part of our day, especially when one zombie led us on a conga line off the island.







    The mazes had opened and John, Kristof and Jeroen went onto their first, Project Z, which included a disclaimer and going around alone. After their go through, the report was that John got locked in a cage for several minutes, and there was lots of touching and weird things going on. It even ended in a waist high foam party for some reason.
    The vote for next things were for creds, so we went to the last two of the park, firstly, a SLC. Vampire wasn’t very good, and had some minimal theming. Others enjoyed it but I found it to be burdenous and juddery. Next door though the Wooden coaster Loup-Garou (or is it Weerwolf?) was much better, even with the set-square corners it had an abundance of airtime and generally I found it to be quite a fun ride.




    We wandered over to the Zombie River, which normally is a Jungle Cruise style affair, but for Halloween it has actors (3 of them) around to ‘scare’ you. It didn’t have a high scare rating and for good reason, it wasn’t very good. A lot of milling around doing not a lot where 1 actor sat there doing nothing, whilst the other 2 were a simple diversion and scare tactic. They are limited due to the nature of the ride, but they could’ve done better I’m sure.


    The scare maze doers did Insomnia, which was located on the Dodgems and had a tonne of actors inside, and it was rated as pretty good. We caught the magic show a second time because of being told of another show which unfortunately didn’t exist. We decided that we should head back towards Psyke and thus got the epically themed train over there.





    Off the train we suggested John and Kristof do the Virus Z1 outdoor maze, which they did, before we rode Psyke again closer to the back and received an even more forceful ride. Horray!
    We headed back towards the entrance via Villa 13 (which had way too many people going through at once to be effective), did some shopping with our discounts before settling down to watch the fireworks show.


    It was pretty cool; it had fire, explosions and lasers. What’s not to love? Standard fare really although it had be toned down from last year as they shut the mazes and brought the actors out for it. Made sense to not do that this year. At the point we bid Kristof a farewell as he needed to go home.
    After that we rode Loup-Garou again in the dark since it was the only other coaster we wanted to re-ride, before me and John headed towards Madhouse 3D but it was shut because of security reasons. On the way out we decided to ride the Breakdance, which we got 2 goes on because the ride op was being lazy and wanted to close his queue early by 5 minutes. Fine by us, because it was on a really epic cycle.


    I didn’t take any photos of the Breakdance, so have the epically lit Wave Swinger instead…
    And that was it. My thoughts on Walibi are that it is a park with great potential, but limited due to neighbours, hence all the issues with Psyke. They have a decent line up of rides if rather mediocre in a way, and a very unique theme and brand which they are pushing into the parks they own. I had a very enjoyable day at the park and it seemed to have very good intentions towards the future, and I hope that it succeeds.
    The Halloween event was good as well, with a fair amount of park theming and LOTS of actors roaming about most of the areas. I mean LOTS. More than our parks have in total numbers. It certainly was the most Halloweeny event I’ve been too this year, and they deserve plaudits for that. Well done.

  6. Benin
    Day 3 – Parc Bagatelle
    A very early morning led to the 2 hour drive across half of two separate countries towards the seaside of France towards Bagatelle. This is rather a small park, but recently nabbed a Vekoma Invertigo last year, and was once infamous for having a scary as hell Lion show which is now gone.

    We arrived at the park to be greeted by a long queue, as out of the 4 cashier desks they had 1 open. And the queue barely moved due to large groups and numerous vouchers. This annoyed me greatly, and resulted in a 30 minute wait to even enter the park, with 20 of those on 1 cashier. Not the greatest start to the day.
    This was then compounded by Bag Express, known for its dive into a water channel, which was empty. With the gimmick gone, this Soquet coaster was utter crap, with a helix of WHY being a small highlight in an otherwise death coaster.




    Could things get better? Le Triops stood proudly in its orange paint, waiting for the moment to become my 300th coaster (yay). Having ridden at least 1 of these before and many other Boomerangs, I was of course thinking how crap it was going to be, regardless of Bellewaerde’s decent one the day before. Fortunately, it was similar to Bellewaerde’s in regards to smoothness, with small jolts that didn’t affect the ride too badly. We later did it again backwards first (cos Vekoma) and found that just as good. Worthy of being a landmark coaster? Best I could do at the time








    Onwards we went into the park before passing Aqua Bag, which was basically Bumper Boats with water pistols attached. It was amaze <3 They’re expanding it to hold more than 5/6 boats as well, which will mean in the future it will be especially mental. Les Rapids were next, another wedge boat style one with one of the most mental things I’ve ever experienced on a rapids. It has a whirlpool section akin to River Quest at Phantasialand, only faster, spinnier and the drop itself results in 5 seconds of pure confusion, fear and amazingness in one fell swoop. Aside from that the layout was pretty non-descript, but having anything more would really take the overall impact of the whirlpool section away.








    Further meandering led us back to the front of the park and the Zamperla Spinning Mouse, which had barely any queue, so it was ridden and was exactly the same as the one at Farup. To finish off the coaster list was Spirals des Dunes a baby Soquet coaster which was weird as hell to be quite honest. Lunch followed before we had a quick go on the Porn Ponies.







    The Sea-Lion/Penguin show that replaced the Lions was about to start so we watched it. Was ok, if very basic, but yay Penguins! And gigantic Sea-Lions which struggle to move! A quick go on the Vintage Cars as they were opposite the show revealed nothing special beyond lots of trees and a bridge or two. The 4D show of random Mad Racers came next, with similarities to the Simpsons ride abound due to the giant screen in front of two pods. It made absolutely no sense at all.






    Nicky had a go on the Eccentric Bikes before we had another go on Triops. At this point we wondered what to do next, and concluded that we’d get a snack before heading back to Calais for the journey home. So we had a waffle, got the park train back to the entrance, before having a quick go on the Pedal Karts which went past the lions before we left.





    That’s it really. Not much else to say for the park, it wasn’t very good overall, with two good rides out of the generic crap of it all. It even has TWO log flumes! I would say the start of the day didn’t help my mood about the park, but even so, it’s not a very good park, and they have a lot of work to do even with the recent rebrand of everything. More quality, less Soquet crap please!

    We made it back to CitiEurope in one piece to find it completely shut bar the restaurants. This is silly of you France, as that place attracts so many Brits on their way back from a weekend away. At least open Carrefour up! Then we discovered a train delay which made the Calais terminal HIDEOUS. Although only delayed an hour, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.
    With that, this report closes. I would recommend Bellewaerde but Bagatelle is bad, bad, so very bad.
    I’ll be back to bore you all after New York!
  7. Benin
    Day 3
    And lo, the final day approached as we groggily awoke for one last B&M whorage session. However there was some unfinished business to attend to first, so we checked out the hotel, dumped off our bags and headed in to Baco once more.




    It was announcing technical difficulties…
    This turned out to be the addition of the second train however, so we waited it out and before long we were winging our way out of the station on the front row. The pre-show began, the brake fins dropped, the tension built...
    We didn’t move…
    Baco seemed keen to not be out-done by its B&M brethren who had both suffered breakdowns prior to today, so decided enough was enough or that it was too early to be working (to which me and Mark agreed) after a late night.



    #BacoFace
    We were rolled back into the station before being told to get out and wait by the exit. After some time, we left, not being arsed to hang around a broken Intamin when there were B&Ms to ride.



    And so the whoring session began, with 3 goes each on Khan and Shambhala; jumping between the two in the process and enjoying every moment of them.





    We then decided to head back towards Baco because I didn’t want it to be the last ride of the trip and leave a bad experience in my head, so we headed around the park via El Diablo, some ice-cream and some more Halloween characters for one last attempt at Baco.



    Back on the front and it miraculously worked this time, though how good a miracle it was not really agreed upon. Many say it’s better in the front/inside seats, it is really, but does that stop it from being several seconds of pain, bounce and wondering why we wanted to give it a second chance (clearly, our trip to Bakken taught us very little)? The answer is a resounding no, and we longed for the apparent roughness of Khan once more.

    Post Baco Red Ear

    A quick train ride later, and that’s exactly where we were. Though Shambhala took more precedence this time as it was much easier to re-ride compared to Khan, but that’s down to the heavy load of g-force more than anything wrong with the ride. So after 4 more goes on Shambhala (bringing the total rides of it to 20) it was back on the train to the entrance and time to venture back out into the real world of delayed flights and rubbish European airports.





    https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q77/s720x720/563137_10153314757995220_127835768_n.jpg " />
    So the final thoughts… The park is very good really, though lacking in dark rides is the main issue here, as it mostly has a decent assortment of flat rides spread (thinly) around the park. Hopefully the 2014 is a nice big indoor attraction of SOME kind, regardless of what it ACTUALLY is (aside from a splash battle, but I’m not too sure if it is one).
    Out of the big 4 coasters, 2 are fantastic, 2 are rough as hell, with El Diablo, Tomahawk and Tami-Tami decent supporting cast to them. The shows are excellent across the board even with the language barrier existing as they are pretty generic in theme/story, but all those involved in the shows were entertaining and deserve plaudits. This especially rings true to those walking characters, who when they could on the quieter Friday put in a hell load of effort into their interactions, whilst the Halloween ones put in just as much.
    The Express Pass however, was an absolute god-send to us, especially considering the situation of queuing in Spain. And it allowed us to take our time around the park instead of just standing in stuffy cattlepens being walked past. The interesting thing is that despite the cheapness of the unlimited and the one-shots, there were no queues for Express to the degree we see on busy days in the UK parks; perhaps they really limit the numbers over there due to the hotels? Or is it just that the country is broke?
    Regardless, an excellent weekend away, and a rather excellent park really. Good theming, good shows, (some) good rides. Good job Port Aventura.

  8. Benin
    Day 2
    A lovely buffet breakfast began our long second day at the park, which was coincidentally the first day of their Halloween event. At 10 we walked very quickly past Baco and through Sesame Street. In order to faff longer, we popped on the wonderfully named Magic Fish ride, one of those Wave Racer things which was reasonably enjoyable.






    Afterwards we sat in that pathway leading to China and mused until Khan roared into life, and we duly skipped the queue twice before doing exactly the same on Shambhala once it had opened (because who DOESN’T love staggered openings?).






    The Spanish Goons were out in force!

    It was VERY busy
    Venturing into Mexico wanting some El Diablo times (and being denied), we decided to faff around for Templo del Feugo and it’s first show at 12. We quickly did the Spinny Serpent Sombrero ride nearby and joined the queue for Templo.
    Let in at 12 we ventured through the well-themed queueline and to the batching area to wait for the show to begin.
    And waited…
    And waited…
    30 minutes later the doors opened and the show began. This was a rather bad introduction to this attraction for me, but the actual show made up for it by being equal parts entertaining and being at a Rammstein concert (all it needed was Feuer Frei!). There was rapturous applause at the end, very contrasted to Armageddon at Paris where the reaction was sobbing from children. A must see show.



    It was now lunchtime and time for the Sesame Street Halloween show, so we did both at once. It wasn’t very good although the hostess improved things somewhat, as was the fact that both Bert and Cookie Monster looking excessively high throughout. Afterwards we ventured back to China for 2 more goes on Shambhala before our next show began, the Rock Symphony, which began with a full advert for the .REC maze, possibly terrifying all kids in the audience. The show was quite good, with the usual stunts and stuff usually saved for Ice Shows and the like, and a particularly annoying theme song. However the standing ovation it received from the audience was entertaining as hell. The applause just refused to stop for ages, then people stood! Me and Mark found this absolutely hilarious.


    After the show we hit up Khan again, before heading to El Diablo and then Stampida’s red side. I suggested the Log Flume as I’d never done it before and it was weird, clearly inspired by Dragon Falls’ massive long and dull turn and the top throughout the entire course.
    Shopping followed before dumping it all back in the hotel for a quick chill and more faff.







    ZZZZZAP!
    Back on park, it was back to China (again) and a good old fashioned ‘whore the B&Ms until it gets dark and then use our front row passes’ time! We did Khan 5 times and Shambhala 6 including the front row on each during the space of a few hours. Both were running insanely well during this time, Khan especially since it decided it wanted to be like Nemesis for a night, whilst on Shambhala we spent most of our time being blinded by the cameras.








    Eventually we got to 9:30 (so about 3 hours of B&M whorage) so it was time to head back to the entrance and see if we could use our front row go on Baco, but it was shut due to the Parade and Lagoon Show. So we thought, sod it and found somewhere to sit to watch both. Before that though there was the Rather Gay Vampire Show, which involved some dodgy musical numbers for some reason. Oh well.

    The Parade was pretty basic, with various actors and floats, probably the most disappointing show in a way but then again we were sat right at the end of the course which may have made a big difference.
    The Lagoon show was interesting, starting with a World of Colour rip off, then fire, then a Dragon, then Jet Skis, then a Tron Man with those water jet shoes. It was all very weird and then it kind of just ended. Bonus points for setting the lagoon literally on fire though, if only it had spread to Baco…………








    And that was it, an OBSCENELY long day at the park but god those night rides on the B&Ms were absolutely fantastic. And with some rather entertaining moments throughout the day as well, it was depressing that we had one more day left and it would involve Baco…

  9. Benin
    An Express visit to Port Aventura
    Day 1
    They always say you should keep an eye out for good deals in life, theme parks being no exception, so when Port Aventura had an offer for 50% hotel stays I leapt at the chance to revisit the park, namely for Shambhala.
    A VERY early Friday morning was the backdrop to our journey via Gatwick and Barcelona, and after eventually finding the coach to the hotel, we arrived at the park armed with quite possibly the best value for money unlimited Express Passes ever (€54 for all 3 days and front row on Shambhala, Khan and Baco).


    My legion of Spiiiiiiidersssss

    Our first port of call was to be the legendary Furius Baco. Much tension was too be had as a result of the various tales of the majority berating the ride and it’s experience with the odd few decreeing it as a fantastic unique experience.
    Unsurprisingly, I was in the former camp…
    It’s a terrible, terrible ride, we nearly rode it in the back until the ride staff member moved us to the 5th odd row, and I was forced onto the outside seat by Mark. The launch is perfectly fine, but as soon as that’s done the ride shakes and rattles along the track, every flaw amplified due to the vibration affect that occurs due to the nature of the seating.
    From an engineering standpoint, it’s so clear why the ride is as bad as it is, and why B&M decided to put riders in-line with the track to ensure that the vibration effect on the train is minimalised. Being on the same axis of rotation is the name of the game, and Baco fails completely. It has two pros, it looks nice and it doesn’t last for very long, that’s it.
    1/10



    Mark was not looking forward to riding this again, ignorance is bliss as they say…

    We decided to go as far away from Baco as possible and go on some good rides, so it was over to China and Shambhala. The design of which is very interesting, as whilst it dominates the area and Dragon Khan, it also complements the area as well, perhaps because a nicely painted and bright Khan still stands out amongst the white track.
    Straight on we went even with the 1 train operation (note, Baco had 2 trains and a longer queue than the 1 train B&Ms) and into the bright sunshine we went, catching a look at the construction site next door, but before long we were cresting the drop.
    To say the resulting ride is brilliant would be quite accurate, although there seemed to be some harsh discussion regarding its place in the Mitch Hawker top 10 last year, I feel that it is justly deserved.
    Like all B&M Hypers, Shambhala thrives on the floaty airtime that fills every hill; however, a few things really stand out for me against the rest of them. First, the Ampersand turn is a fantastic way of doing things rather than a bland overbank, the mini hill after this with its ejector is also brilliant, the splash is a cool element to look at for the off-riders and produces on occasion a nice cooling effect to riders, the hills after which are excellent due to the way it which they vary the drop height to give some difference to the experience.
    9/10





    From modern B&M to classic B&M now, as Dragon Khan was next on our list. 9 years ago I remember it being a fantastic ride, and to see if it was still as such we were straight into the back row.
    Since my visit I have seen a lot of people stating that Khan is rough (to degrees of things like Baco and Goudrix), but I cannot really see the issue. It has rattle yes (it’s 18 years old, rides age, that simple) but these incidents are during the high speed, high G sections so are relatively infrequent. Especially after riding Baco, Khan would easily be considered as smooth.
    Either way, it’s interesting to see how B&M have evolved between Khan and Shambhala, with Khan having a fair few snappy transitions (the Zero-G and MCBR drop especially) but also a few ‘glidey’ sections through it.
    Khan was still excellent though, loved it, and I don’t understand where this sudden rattly hate has appeared from. If Khan gets detracted for it, then so should things like Nemesis.
    8/10



    Big rides done, we went over to find Tami-Tami as Mark had missed out on his last visit to the park. So off we went back into the Sesame Street area to find that the show had just finished and characters were out. So photos happened…




    After a drink and chill we eventually joined the non-existent queue and quite enjoyed our ride. It’s only a Vekoma Junior sure, but the dense foliage around it really improved the ride somewhat, especially the final helix.
    Walking back through China we snuck it another go on Shambhala and Khan before El Diablo, where my last ride on it was backwards (rotating cars before it was cool was Port Aventura) and the derided-ness of this ride and it’s lift hills is well known. Indeed, we gained a soft spot for it actually, as you can see what they were trying to do with it, they just used Arrow because cheap times. Maybe if they’d actually had some track after the second lift that went right instead of left there would be more fans of it? Who knows…


    Next up was another ride new since my last visit, Hurakan Condor, which fortunately had a short enough queue to warrant us bothering. It was ok like most Intamin free-falls, but I’m not a real fan of the excessively tall ones because they do get boring after a while. Though the 4 seater one is considerably better than the Gyro variants.


    Next door was the new for this year mirror maze Secret of the Mayans, where you are given medical gloves before you enter to prevent smearing the glass, which is weird. Inside it’s actually a very long experience, with a random bit in the middle with some effects. It was alright and good for getting out of the heat for a bit.
    Back outside, we stumbled across Bert and Ernie, so naturally, photos ensued due to Bert being a depressing muppet.

    Bert’s either high or misses his sandwich…


    Onwards we walked to the Wild West area, and a queue for Tomahawk, which has a silly throughput/lack of ability to sit two adults together. But it’s still a surprisingly decent and long ride for a kiddie coaster, with the duelling aspect a novel idea.
    It was nearly time for the Bird Show, so we walked past Sheriff Woody and the long, LONG way to the show (burdenous park layout), and it was rather entertaining in the end, with lots of banter from the host who didn’t stop talking for the whole thing; a basic bird show really but still decent.



    Up next was the Wild West Stunt Show with a Halloween overlay. This had fantastic pre-show entertainment, with a scarecrow jumping at entering guests and the excessively camp man in his D&G denim jacket of JOY. Again, pretty basic as shows go, but it was a good laugh.


    <3

    What was next wasn’t much of a laugh, as Stampida since my last visit had new Kumbak trains added, and after Bakken’s Rusty Banana being god-awful, I had a fair amount of fear about it.
    I was right, the ride rattles through the course badly, a shame because I think it’s a rather well designed ride (particularly where you lose the other train briefly before it’s charging at you), ruined by an awful company who somehow are allowed to do this.
    Poor show.
    3/10


    We headed back to China to have some last quick goes on the B&Ms before heading back to the hotel for dinner (which was a very nice buffet). We then sat in the plaza drinking and watching the very good hotel entertainment, with a stand-out moment when a birthday girl was given a cake by Winnie Woodpecker. Our parks would do to realise that such moments will stay with younger visitors for a long time.
    We were impressed with our first day on the park, but the first day of their Halloween event was next, and the hours of 10am-11pm were very exciting indeed…
  10. Benin
    Day 2 – Bellewaerde Park
    Time for coasters! And with a brand new one it was time to head along to Belle, via several country roads and an awful diversion, we eventually arrived at the destination (N.B. There is an easier route to take to get to the park we discovered on our way back, blergh)…



    Formerly a safari park, this place certainly shares similarities with both Chessington and Flamingoland, but let’s not set our hopes too low, and go and ride the first coaster of the day (in order to avoid long queues later), Ladybird a Large Zierer Tivoli…
    Bugger. Well, these coasters are actually quite fun at times; although how it fitted into the Western theme area I have no idea. Though this thing was basically bread and butter to the usual types of this ride, so it’s unremarkable.



    Next up, Boomerang. It’s like the park WANTS us to hate it, but either way, this is a well themed one so at least it looked nice to ride. After Nicky’s apprehension of her first Boomerang, we were on and were surprised to find it smooth, barring the odd jerk during the backwards section of course, it wasn’t perfect. But comparatively, it was like riding a B&M. Amazing scenes!





    The final coaster was the brand new Huracan, an indoor Zierer coaster with random outside bit and epic dark ride section. Most reports heard before were of high praise regarding the level of theme this ride has, and this is most certainly true of the queue, station and pre-lift section. It’s pretty damn awesome, if the queue is quite bland and rather boring. Onto the ride itself and with no explanation you’re set off through various rooms with random theming in each, with music booming out of the speaker, pretty cool so far. After the wind room we’re off into the daylight (and random pointless red strobe) up the lift into the pre-darkness section. I do like the way the music fades out at this point and returns upon entry into the building, and speaking of such, the ride section is decent, but completely lacking in anything. I do like the daylight peeking it allowing you glimpses of the track, but there’s just nothing else. Even cheap cut-outs a la Revenge of the Mummy would improve things. Although with a minimum height of 1m, they put their hat on that market and went with it. The brake run laser show is quite cool, but I can only imagine what if they had decided to put in a freefall section on this to finish it instead? Then the turn back into the station to finish instead of stopping and waiting for the train in front to depart?
    Good family coaster mind, with some decent dark ride element to it, but it had a lot more potential that could have been realised.
    7/10






    Coasters done, it was time for other things, so we polished up the Aztec area with El Volador, a Topple Tower which ran a lot faster than Djurs’, and El Toro a Huss Breakdance of JOY. After which we broke for lunch.








    As the weather was awesome (where has Summer gone now?) we elected for the Log Flume, which had a massive ONE drop, and two lift hills… Lol wut? It was rather refreshing though to be fair, but that to me made no sense whatsoever.


    It was then time to meander around the zoo part, or at least part of it, as it was still reasonably spread out. But regardless we saw Giraffes, Elephants, Zebras and Lemurs for the exotic stuff, whilst goats were the more typical animal nearby.












    A wild Madhouse, Houdini appeared, which was promptly ruined by loud teenagers. But had an amusing clip which was as good as SMUGHEX. Further into the park we delved and found the potentially unique Bengal Express, which makes the idea of Zufari look turd, why? Because you’re in a train going right through the Lion and Tiger enclosure that’s why! Ok it’s well protected and everything, but still… Was awesome.











    Next up were the Bengal Rapids, my very first Wedge rapids style ride, where rather than one complete boat they’ve cut it up and had essentially 3/4 (depending on where you go) sections that can and do act separately from each other. This also means that you can be attacked from any direction which balances out the general lack of being able to have too many large drops (which was disproven by Bagatelle). Was quite good fun though really in the end.



    We dried off with an ice cream before doing the Squirrel Monkey island and then continuing around to the Huss Drop Tower Screaming Eagle, which was a good bit of fun as well. Next up was the Jungle Mission boat ride, after our experiences of such in Denmark, we dreaded to think what would be next, but we found an excessively random ride mixed into some animal enclosures (including Capybara, YAY), worth a go.










    At that point we felt like we had done as much of the park that we wanted, so we rode Boomerang and Huracan again, before heading to the shop and home. Overall I would say Bellewaerde is a good park with a lot of potential ahead. The theming it has is very well done but is rather sparse overall. They also (in my opinion) need a real stand-out ride to really reach out to a larger audience of people, with a hint of uniqueness. Probably why I think Huracan would have benefitted from the freefall drop but on the other hand it would have meant missing out on that 1m limit.
    I really liked the park, and whilst the zoo portion of it is tiny these days, they have some excellent viewing areas which make it rather similar to Flamingoland, only without the awfulness of being it. I hope they expand continually in the future because there is a great potential in there.


  11. Benin
    Day 1 – Bruges
    An early Friday morning greeted us as my car was packed and we set off for the Channel Tunnel, before long however we had reached Calais and the drive to Bruges through 20 million sets of road-works began. About 2 hours after our arrival in Calais, we had arrived at our hotel, on the outskirts of the ‘Old Town’ of Bruges.
    A quick note about the hotel, it is pretty fab… Not in the way of being amazing, it’s just extremely nice, with great people running it who are very helpful and have great knowledge of the local area. Plus the lift had no doors and sounded like Tower of Terror <3



    We began our adventure in Bruges with food, Croque Monsieurs to be precise, and after that we hit up our first stop, the Chocolate Musuem. For €7 (or 6 if you have a hotel thingy we got given) you get a very small museum that teaches you the history of chocolate through the ages via the usual array of text walls and Playmobil models. It also has a live demonstration where you get to try an extremely fresh piece of gorgeous chocolate. It’s small and can probably be done in 30 minutes, but certainly worth the €6 we paid each.






    Classic England!




    Next up we headed to the main square and had our interest piqued by the Historium. This is a weird one, as it gives off a vibe of being like the Dungeons, and indeed, the whole theming is of a Dungeons standard. However it’s an audio guide following the tale of some young lad trying to help his famous painting master paint something. He falls in love; there are parakeets, yada, yada, yada. It’s a decent attraction though for the tourist crowd, and does vary the way in which you watch the videos. There’s also nudity for those interested.




    It pops you out on the second floor of the building, allowing for some great views of the market.




    After a quick drink in the bar (and it’s chandelier of beer), we walked around for a bit. Bruges is a very beautiful place to be quite honest. The building work especially, could easily spend a day walking around taking photos.





    Eventually we decided to go on a Canal Tour, and although we feared for our safety when a fat American boarded, it was very good. Get a 35 minute tour for the trouble of €12 odd so you definitely get your money’s worth.





    Go home statue, you are drunk!





    After a bit more faffing we decided it was time to grab a bite to eat and we enjoyed some Mussels and Salmon (Friday is fish day in Bruges) which were extremely nice. This was followed up by some Waffles, because Belgium. After that we wondered back to the hotel and chilled out.


    The BEERWALL!



    As I said, Bruges is a wonderful place, full of history and is beautiful. I would happily go back there and spend more time wondering around, but we managed to do most of the big touristy stuff in an afternoon. Heartily recommend it to everyone who’s in the area to visit for a day.

  12. Benin
    Day 8 – Farup Sommerland
    And so the final day, we packed up and departed Aarhus northwards. We eventually arrived after more venturing through country roads and paid upon arrival in the car (which took us all by surprise, fortunately we were prepared for this) and ended up in the car park, which strangely sits in the middle of the park, allowing for some good views of the two main coasters.




    Our first destination was Lynet, the Gerstlauer launched, to which I was excited for because Anubis back at Plopsa is made of win. Would Lynet (their first) continue the trend? After the dark and dingy Shockwave-esque queueline we arrived in the dark and atmospheric station before taking our comfy seats and rolling out into the small drop into the launch. Rolling launches need to exist more, and the quick and tight layout really showed some good imagination on the park and Gerst’s parts, featuring airtime, 2 corkscrews and a few tight helixes. This seems to be something Gerstlauer do well in relatively intense compact layouts. There was some bumpiness to it but nothing too extreme, why every other Gerstlauer I’ve been on that’s 2009 or older tonnes better than Saw? Either way, a solid headline ride perfect for Farup.
    7/10





    Another go lead us searching for a change of coaster, unfortunately Flagermusen was closed due to vomit cleaning, so we headed deeper into the woodland in which the park is set and eventually found Mine Expressen, a Vekoma Junior which was rattly and rough, hence, not very good indeed.
    It was at this point we realised that Farup was very much an adventure park with rides added on, rather than Djurs which seemed more focused on the ride aspect, as such we hit up the next play area to entice us, as well as some more Bouncy Mats that we found.




    New for 2013 at Farup is Ice Age 4D, so we headed to that corner of the park to see what system they had for times. Being regular, we decided a quick cool down on the Log Flume would be in order, before drying off. The flume was surprising long, with 3 decent drops throughout, although the force at which you stop on the final one is enough to fling you practically out of the boat if you’re not careful.
    Back to the show, which had an enthusiastic operator who treated us to the effects prior to the show, including moving chairs and the unsurprising water sprays, the moving seats were at first a novelty before becoming tiresome halfway through. It does have a scene missing from the version at Towers (the plant scene) which I found weird, but I didn’t really care that much in the end.
    We walked back towards the park entrance and decided to ride Flagermusen, yay for Zamperla spinning coasters! Actually, after Tornado, this was a god-send and actually quite fun since we had a relatively balanced car for it. Quite good in the end.
    We broke for lunch at the entrance and sat outside, enjoying the vast sunshine Denmark had decided to give us upon our last day, before our quest to the left side of the park continued with Pindsnivet a random kiddie coaster which was a welcome change from the constant Zierers we had endured.
    Onwards we went to were Orkanen (new for 2013 but alas, closed, actually opens on the day I am writing this) and Falken, a S&S Wooden coaster. This was good aside from the cornering not being brilliant, with lots of bumping along the track occurring at the finale helix. Not brilliant but not great either sums it up quite nicely.










    We felt like we needed a sugar rush, so Mark, Holly and Nicky elected for candyfloss whilst I went for a normal ice cream which was then dunked in chocolate dust. If I wanted chocolate ice cream, I would have asked for it. No matter, we headed back across the park to the woodland side, and proceeded into THE adventure course…




    Treasure Hunt is something we did not see coming in its entirety. I had seen bits of it such as the water steps and the monkey bars over the water, but nothing can get you ready for the sheer length of the thing. It starts with a ‘maze’ before proceeding to make you slide, climb, step and pull your way around the woodland and over the lake. It was an amazing thing to go through and when we got through to the end we felt a high sense of full on achievement that we had done it. I’ll let the photos speak for some of it, but it cannot be missed.








    Next door there is a Fun House, which was exceedingly dark due to the theme of being the home of one of the woodland creatures. We then did some Mini Golf in which I managed to get 2 hole in ones throughout the course, of which some of the holes were excessively made of WHY? We found another playground and after some mincing around there we all felt like we were done for the day (Treasure Hunt really took it out of us, and we were in there for at least 45 minutes). So we headed back towards Lynet, being enticed by Chairswings along the way before laziness got the better of us and we got the train back to Falken for our very last ride of the trip.










    And that was that, we headed back to Aalborg to find it was in the middle of a Carnival the likes which were unprecedented, with our hotel slap bang in the middle. With some negotiating we got in and enjoyed one last burger in our oasis of calm before the flight home the next morning (N.B. Norwegian Air currently have Wi-Fi and fly from Gatwick to Aalborg).
    Overall, I would say Denmark is a wonderful place. We didn’t do that much in the way of culture, but in our week we could tell that the people are lovely and friendly, speak great English and have a good sense of humour. Bakken and BonBon aside their parks are lovely with a fantastic atmosphere in each one, whilst they might not be full of the biggest or best rides ever, you can tell the parks do care and there is great fun to be had at them.
    I would say Djurs took the top park spot, although Tivoli is just behind it, with Juvelen and Rusty Banana taking the top two spots for best rides. In the end though we discovered a wonderful country with some good (and bad) parks that I think we would happily visit again if we could in the near future. I would recommend Denmark to any theme park enthusiast who is bored of the typical European countries, and it excites me for the trip to Sweden next year.

    Happy Hedgehog thanks you for reading
  13. Benin
    Day 7 – Legoland Billund
    Now here was an interesting one, the Merlin park of the group, a park that is usually a burden to visit in the UK, how would the original fare? Would it be smothered in adverts? Would it be full of low throughput rides? Would we hate it for being part of a massive corporate entity? Answers are found and more…
    After once again navigating the emptiness of Denmark and a surprise car park appearing out of nowhere (next door to Billund’s own airport) we had arrived and awaited our entry accompanied by two children and a burdenously annoying theme song.





    Eventually it opened, and we walked the entire bloody length of the park to arrive at the 2012 Polar Land, and Polar X-Plorer. This was to be the intriguing comparison to Thirteen, purely due to the freefall aspect, how would Zierer’s attempt stand up to Intamin’s extremely good system?
    We walked straight through the queue (the cattlepen of death stood on however) and onto the front row of the very comfy trains, and set out on our exploration of the local van-yard behind the park the Artic, and the ride’s surprise appeared. From the first drop to the mountain is actually extremely good and forceful… Grey out forceful in fact. Where did this come from? The first half was such a shock that our entry into the mountain turned into a complete jarring. Unthemed, relatively empty and a broken screen whilst being completely surrounded by the drop system, when the drop itself happened it was ok, but lacked the theatre and quickness that Intamin’s offers. The trundling out finale past some static figures didn’t improve much and eventually you pass the penguin enclosure wondering what happened?
    To put it blunty, the drop system is crap in a comparative sense to Intamin’s. The fact that it is hidden and allows for a variation of drops is a real plus point to it, allowing the pre-mentioned theatre and surprise to really take a hold. Maybe Verbolten does this better due to the pure darkness, but Polar fails to use the system to its potential, the trundle out of it making a real mockery of an exciting and impressive first half. The ideal family ride would be the first half of this with the second half of Thirteen it was agreed amongst our group after a second go on the back, where the system is even more blatant than before. A right shame in the end.
    6/10






    Unsure of our next destination, we spotted the Fire Academy next door to Polar Land, without a queue, something rarely seen ever. So we took the advantage and went 2 on 2 once more on it. Perhaps myself and Nicky took it slightly too seriously after the Fussball defeat, but we were back at base long before Mark and Holly had put out the fire. Overall I would say how much fun it was, if slightly tiring in the end. I would love to do this with a full on enthusiast take-over, then it really would get silly.
    Next was the Temple, the Laser Raiders of the park, but a Mack Omnimover instead. WHY ARE THE OTHERS MADE BY SALLY CORP? Anyways, it was essentially the same as the others, with the usual array of things that move but with slightly grander sets and a decent finale room.
    Wanting more Mack fixings, we went on X-Treme Racers, another Wild Mouse but an actual Mack one, rather than a Maurer clone. Very jolty and rickety throughout this one, but at least tonnes better than the old Jungle Racer in a box.
    Completing our Legoland staples, Jungle Racer was actually next, but was a WaveRider this park around. Usual affair here, with waterbombs placed slightly out of reach of the riders, making them absolutely pointless.









    We then realised we had missed the Ice Pilots Academy back in Polar Land, and knowing that it would have a low throughput, we ran back and went on it before we strayed too far away. It was to be my first experience of a KUKA Robo-Arm ride of any form, having not been on Potterland yet, and the aspect of designing your ride (Read as, press the buttons randomly) was an intriguing idea. We started off slow (Speed 2), picked our moves and on we went to an extremely random and fun experience. So we headed back around and hit up Speed 5 and went X-Treme (as Lego would put it). The differences are quite telling, the transitions are faster and the motions wilder, but still not beyond the realms of too intense for the core audience of the park. A real surprise but with only 20 people max a go, it’s no surprise why these things are so rare, even if they are incredibly random and good fun. When all 5 in one section are going it is a mesmerising experience to say the least.






    We had a quick look at the Penguins whilst in the area as well.




    Back on park, it was time to return to the Legoland staples, and the Dragon coaster, which also returned us onto the path of the Mack. Strangely, this is a powered coaster, which automatically means a single train. WHY LEGOLAND? It still however retains the traditional dark ride section which felt longer and larger than our Windsor counterpart. In addition, the powered system of the ride came into play well on the transition from dark ride to coaster, providing a decent launch into the outdoor layout. It would be better if a second train were to appear on this. Maybe it does? Either way a decent coaster helped by the crazy ride host who singled out Mark and his Viking hat being Swedish and from Djurs.





    Upon exiting we realised that the stunt show was about to take place, so we took our seats and were allowed to enjoy an action heavy, dialogue-less romp around the mini-castle set, featuring (unsurprisingly) lots of people landing in water. It was a simple story to follow, but very entertaining, owing to the simple stunt gags they used and the old ‘suspension of disbelief’. I would certainly say that people should catch this (and the pre-show entertainment) if they’re ever at the park.








    Next door to the show was Viking River Splash, an Intamin version of the ride which is accentuated by the massive lift and drop combo. It’s similar to the other versions, with some scenes practically cloned in but a very different (and dizzy) layout allows it to give its own version of events. The lift and drop is a brilliant finale to have on it as well, and we all fully enjoyed our go on it.

    We broke for lunch at a Fish and Chips place, where you got (as a basic meal) 3 pieces of cod and a tonne of chips. Denmark <3
    After lunch we faffed about what to do next and we elected upon the Pirate Boats, which ended up being a surprise dark ride (and you’ll never guess the ride it was ripping off). It was actually good if very dark at times due to the way in which the lighting was timed to go off between boats, either way I like dark rides that appear from nowhere and this one is no exception, even the duck enjoyed it.






    The final coaster of the day was Timber Ride, another Zierer coaster, which was well landscaped and themed but that was about it. We wondered over to the 4D Cinema to see when the Chima show was on, and had ages, so we elected for the Atlantis attraction.
    About the only Merlin thing in the park (no, serious), this is a walk-through Sea-Life with crap pre-show (we and the Danish family with us walked out) and a very well themed experience, with lots of buttons that activated bubbles in various figures. There were also Spider-Crabs, everyone loves them right?












    We then decided to do Mini-Land, which was the usual high standard you’d expect of a Lego park. We also did the Observation Tower, Lego Top to faff around and get some decent overall views of the park.




















    Way too many photos to choose from on this one
    We ended up back in the Western area and decided to go on Mine Train, which is literally a train going through a mine. It had a mini dark ride section with a non Lego figure within (the HORROR) and was rather pointless if I’m honest. Lego Canoe was done by myself and Nicky, and was a rather boring Log Flume that went past a few animal figures with a singular drop. I might have fallen asleep mid-ride.
    After the faff it was time for Legends of Chima 4D, new for 2013 and a tie into the new range. I have no idea what was going on and it was even in English. It centred around a tour of the land and featured very basic 3D and 4D effects, and the two main characters were friends, then enemies. It made no sense. Then Mark said he thought they were fighting of Cheese rather than Chi, which made it funnier, but still no sense was made. To be young and naïve again.






    After that we had done pretty much everything we wanted to on park, so a few re-rides on Dragon, Temple, Ice Pilots and Polar X-Plorer were done. Overall Legoland Billund is a very nice park, and the least Merlin of the group, which can only be considered a good thing. We really enjoyed our day there but I sense it’d be absolute hell when packed solid and some of those cattlepen extensions were in use.

  14. Benin
    Day 4b – Bakken
    After a morning of alcohol we returned to the car and ventured off to Bakken, the world’s oldest amusement park. Set within an old hunting ground the woodland setting is quite nice, although the layout of the car park is little to be desired.



    We went in, purchased our wristbands and found a place to eat whilst we waited for Tornado to open at 2. It did, and we were ready to experience the World’s first (and only) Intamin Spinning Coaster.
    Tornado is a very fast spinning coaster, mainly as a result of the launched lift hill, which really throws you into the first corner. It is also one of the few entirely free spinning coasters, so when you get kicked out of the station by the ride staff (a literal fact I’m afraid) you’re already spinning madly.
    However, I wish I could continue this charade of it being a good coaster, the simple fact is that Tornado is one of the worst coasters I have experienced, comparing that to Goudrix, Sequoia Adventure and Mean Streak, and it’s an impressive feat for all the wrong reasons. And as with most Intamins, one of the major flaws are the shoulder restraints, which follow in design as the Accelerators, but use a different style of material. This does not improve matters, and in my case, actually physically cut me due to the aforementioned launching lift.
    As a result you spend the ride cursing at Intamin for not thinking yet another design through properly, and attempting to brace yourself against the restraints digging into your arms. I would think that without the launch it might be a decent ride, but it’s impossible to judge because of it. I can never enjoy a ride I have to brace myself for throughout it, and as such, Tornado gets thrown to the bottom of the pile, and makes me fear for Baco later this year.
    1/10



    After that catastrophe of a ride, we had another Rusty Banana to look forward to, especially after Tivoli’s fabulous one. But what’s this? Bakken decided to get new trains and systems in? Well I guess it might save them money on training and wages… Who did they get to redesign it? Kumbak? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…
    Yep, just when things couldn’t get worse, Kumbak, those perennial rapers of coasters appeared. And naturally, they managed to absolutely ruin another coaster through the train designs (and leg crushing lapbars) and braking the train at every… single… chance… they… got… Every time there was momentum it was killed completely, the train slowing to speeds where it could just about finish the corner. Diabolical doesn’t cover it, especially after Tivoli, where we found a brilliantly smooth and fun coaster. This was just rough, slow and pathetic.
    Still, better than Tornado.
    2/10




    Opposite Ulven was Racingbahn, a weird oval racing car attraction which worked similar to Dodgems and Go-Karts. It was good fun but doesn’t have a real race feel to it due to the lack of starting cars at the same point. We followed this up with the imaginatively named Racing, a Zierer (apparently), which looked like a death trap but was actually a very fun attraction, with good speed and forces building throughout the ride. No restraints as well which was a change. Next door was Vilde Mus a Mack coaster pretending to be a Maurer Sohne. It was not very wild or very fun.








    We then encountered the Spin Zone a weird Horror/Space theme set of Dodgems which were more like Daleks. Controlled by joysticks to spin on the spot and move forward, we spent most of our time spinning on the spot as it was generally more fun. We followed this with the Fun House, typical one really with lots of levels and moving things themed to a ship/harbour. Wasn’t bad but wasn’t great either. Heading back towards the park entrance we did the Ladybird, another baby Zierer but with added crazy attendant who stopped the car on the lift on the last circuit. The final attraction of this block were the original African themed Teacups.





    The Fun House CANNOT be unseen!

    WHY are we at Bakken?


    Smug clowny git
    We then elected to give Tornado another go, and it was still bad; then Rusty Banana, which again, was still bad. We noticed a show nearby and had time to kill, so we rode the Swanorail, which was another pedal one taking place over the nearby Log Flume. I spent most of my time trying to cause crashes as that was more enjoyable than spending time in the park. We did Ulven again and upon our return to the station the ride op was texting and smoking at the same time, if the park’s image could drop ANY lower.


    It was time for the scary clown show which ended up being a magic show. Which was decent enough for the kids, especially when one got owned by one of the tricks after he had declared he knew the answer. Poor lad. The racing cars were done again before we did the Crazy Theatre, which was the same thing at Bon Bon Land but a rejigged video. Another Dillon attraction was found but this was a WaveSurfer instead of Huss spinning thing. Polyp we found to be the same ride as Hydra at Asterix, which made us so happy we did it twice, and was clearly the best ride on the park.



    Wall of dummies…





    We did Racing again before Double Shot, a teeny S&S tower which had some airtime to it, always think the shorter tower rides are better than those 200ft plus jobs. The Spin Zone was repeated as was the Fun House, before one last go on Rusty confirmed our fears and we ran out in a hurry at 5:30. Meaning we had spent 3 and a half hours.
    I spend longer days at a busy Thorpe, which tells how crap this place was. Full of utter tat rides and awful headliners, no charm and was essentially a more permanent fair. All 4 of us were glad to get out as soon as we felt possible.


  15. Benin
    Day 3 – Bon Bon Land
    A park that is relatively infamous and well known from a certain American coaster site, Bon Bon Land is essentially famous for being silly. With farting dogs, defecating seagulls and various other creatures doing random stuff; it’s a park I’ve been interested to visit to see what the hype is all about.
    So we hopped into the Nissan of Narcissism and directed by Cassandra the Sat-Nav and were taken off the motorway into the middle of nowhere, a theme certainly to be followed through most Danish parks.





    Needless to say, it was a rather underwhelming place. They’ve got a gimmick that’s for sure, but that’s it, there’s barely any substance behind it overall. And once you get over the fart and pee jokes around the park, there’s nothing really special about it. It’s no surprise the Americans seem to love this place, but for me, whilst the various models dotted around the park are nice with a home-made feel to it, there’s not much else going on for it.





    Either way our first port of call was Wild Hog, the first Eurofighter, but it was shut. As was the Gerstlauer Spinner Han-Katten (which didn’t open all day). We waited and noticed that the Zierer Viktor Vandorm had opened, so ran to that and it’s millions of stairs to the station.
    A weird coaster by anyone’s standards. A short lift hill lead into a decent drop into a long channel built into the lake, and then the designer clearly gave up with his life and proceeded to play RCT for so long he reached his dead-line and hence had to make up some random crap. It reminded me of the Dragon at Legoland Windsor’s outdoor section, but slow, burdenous and not very entertaining. We got two goes around and things didn’t improve much, especially when the bars refused to open on our return to the station, causing a self-evacuation of 90% of the train (the two remaining kids were too fat to escape). Not a great start to the day.
    3/10

    NOT the actual entrance…




    After this we headed towards Sveng Swingarm a gigantic Frisbee ride off, someone… Actually an excellent ride to be honest, the height making it seem much more intense yet enjoyable (in comparison to the full intensity of Flamingoland’s Flip Flop), and the constant change of direction was a decent addition. Solid attraction and the first thing we all really liked at the park. Maybe things were going to look up as we found a Fabbri Drop Tower Cobra Tarnet, which wasn’t as good as Detonator unfortunately.
    In search of new attractions and the sun making an appearance we decided the Baever Rafting would be next. A decent themed rapids ride which had a weird hiking pathway queue. Didn’t get too wet but that wasn’t too much of an issue as the water looked dire as hell.
    Dillen (you son of a bitch!) was next, a Huss flat ride of some description themed to crocodiles and short queuelines and ended up being a decent enough ride to fill up some extra time.







    More meandering around empty pathways lead us to the final coaster of the park, and the most well-known, Dog Fart Coaster. Apparently the farting dog is a famous character in the Bon Bon world of sweets, so of course he was to have his own coaster. And with enthusiasts from that site again proclaiming it’s brilliance, surely we’ll hit a good coaster here?
    Well, no… It’s a mini Zierer with a helix that goes into a massive kennel… I thought it was going to be something of the length of Vandorm, but no, one drop, one helix, one turn, station. And we think Smiler is going to be overhyped? Dreadful ride, and the whole ‘fart’ gimmick wasn’t even working.
    2/10



    After that disappointment we headed to the Drunk Turtle Waveswinger, which was its usual boring dependable self. Then we did my first ever set of porn ponies, Hestepaererne which was long and well themed. This was followed by a boat tour around the world of dodgy stereotypes and rubbish animatronics on Soloven, which was pretty crap but it involved a sit down for some time at least.
    We headed towards the Crow Tower which are the same attraction as the infamous Tree Houses at Tripsdrill, of which Nicky and Holly had never seen before. As such, the secret was kept secret and the surprise that the ride gives was fully appreciated by them both. So much so we did it twice without moving off it.










    We broke for lunch into the Western area specifically. Why? Because Pulled Pork sandwiches! <3 Whilst we waited for them to be cooked we played Coaster Top Trumps, where it appears Jimmy Neutron is more thrilling than Diamondback… At least Merlin’s make some semblance of sense and balance. Anyways, Pulled Pork is made of joy, on we go.


    On our way out we popped into the Office Block/Western themed Hestorado, which was an Alterface thing of shooting at a screen for 10 minutes. It was made of WHY. Walking back into the main section of the park we did Viktor again, which was still crap, but doing the amusingly named Disko, AlbaTossen, which was quite intense. The pedal Monorail Mageklatterne was next, which involved plenty of collisions and other pointlessness. We were all starting to get a bit bored of the park and since Han-Katten didn’t look like opening, we headed back to the entrance.


    Bored, Mark and Holly decide to act out Star Wars





    On our way out, we suggested to venture into the massive Fantasy World building, certainly worth it. Inside is the most random array of animatronics and other things ever. There’s even a ball pit to which we spent some time in because it was the most fun thing we had seen at the park all day.










    After spending some time in there, we were done and headed home. It annoys me that I have to return to this place for the missing coaster, because I don’t really want to. An incredibly over-rated park that we didn’t really enjoy because of the sheer lack of anything really. Lots of empty space and we just didn’t connect with it, especially after a wonderful day at Tivoli before.

  16. Benin
    Day 2 - Tivoli Gardens
    After an afternoon of lovely sunshine and warmth, the Sunday morning was the complete opposite, with rain pelting down as we prepared to venture into our first park of the trip. As we waited outside the park, the Gumball 500 decided to venture forth, so we had some entertainment building up to the park opening.





    The park opened at 11, but the majority of rides opened at 11:30, so we hid under a building and awaited our first ride and coaster to open Daemonen. The smallest B&M and by definition the cutest, 6 rows of the tiny floorless cars flit about the tiny compact layout, squeezed into the back end of the park (the exit steps might as well be on the adjoining road). The area and station however are nicely themed to a Chinese back alley area.
    We followed the ride staff who had opened the ride and went for the front row, ending up to be the only people (stupid enough) to ride during the reasonable rain storm on-going. As such, I didn't see much of the ride, but the ride itself was decent, not the best B&M, but at the same time, not the worst. You can see how limited the park were in their design of the ride with the space and local area unlikely to it anything bigger than the existing layout.
    Upon repeat riding in the back due to no queue, it still set itself as a solid if unremarkable ride. It's flaws are to do with the limitations of the park's ability to build anything bigger or longer, and I cannot fault the ride for those limits set upon itself. It was still a fun and enjoyable ride at the end of the day, and that's what counts.
    6/10





    With the rain still lashing down, we seeked more shelter and hid in the nearby dark ride The Flying Trunk. This 'such a cred' dark ride takes us through the various tales of H.C. Andersen in a rather Small World style ride. Typical European dark ride that are always random anyway, and at least we were able to listen to the narration in English.




    We exited into, surprisingly, more rain, but it had slightly lessened so we went onwards to our next attraction Odin Expressen. A trip above one of the many buildings in the park is this powered Mack's forte, not particularly brilliant although the final helix into a tunnel is decent. Either way it's not the best Mack Powered I've ever been on.
    5/10


    We headed towards Rustchebahn (furthermore known as Rusty Banana) only to find it was closed due to the rain, so we elected to find the other coaster, discovering a live band playing Musical Statues at the main stage area.


    Onwards to Karavanen, one of those small Tivoli creds which proceeded to give us 7 laps of it. Usual affair with this type of ride, randomly decent airtime though. After this it was suggested we ride Monsoon the Inverted Magic Carpet which had an excessively long cycle but was good fun regardless. We missed out on the water fountains being used however, no doubt due to the spiteful rain. The Golden Tower was next, an S&S drop tower, for which we had an audience for since we were the only riders.






    The rain still pouring, we walked towards the Dodgems we had seen earlier, only to find that they had laser guns attached. Mentally fast Dodgems with targets and lasers, Takeshi's Castle called Tivoli, they want their attraction back! However they were awesome due to the ridiculous speed, however with tempermental guns and a lack of obvious scoring system meant it wasn't as good as it could have been.

    After this we elected for lunch at the Burger Kitchen, which was cooked to order and damn tasty once we had translated the menu. It was a trend to continue throughout the week with our surprise at the quality and the portions of the food at the parks.

    Upon our exit of the restaurant, the Pippi Longstocking show was starting at the main stage, so after seeing that we went into the Fun House located in the Rusty Banana mountain. I miss the one at Southport, and this was a decent substitute, with lots of levels and different obstacles up and down the building.



    After some time we heard a new rumbling noise in amongst the sound effects, and realised that they were testing Rusty Banana. We headed out and waited for a short time before it opened.
    Rusty being 99 years old is one of them old Scenic Railway style coasters, brakeman included and cable lift hill before Intamin made them cool. Having only done the one since Dreamland I was excited to ride another (and the others hadn't done one before at all). What we found was one of the most fun, smooth and brilliant coasters we had ever ridden. Glass smooth, great airtime, good laterals. Rusty has is all, ducking in and out of the mountain element all the while, with some portions in the pitch black to boot. Quite simply a brilliant attraction, and for something reaching 100 years old next year to be smoother than rides not even 5 years old says a lot about the quality of the ride (and it's renovations). They plan on redoing bits of it next year so it might even gain more thematic elements in the future, but regardless, a class ride that all should ride before it gets Bakken'd.
    9/10




    Time for some more flat rides, and we started with the Star Flyer, which was heavily affected by the high winds flowing through Copenhagen, making the experience better than usual. This was followed with a visit to the park's new area, with the Air Race and Spinny Tower thingy. The Air Race was certainly something different and quite intense at times, it required ice cream times to sort it out, but I wouldn't say no to one being built in the UK.






    A quick meander around the gardens followed, it is a very nice park to be sure.






    We went searching for costumed characters who unfortunately weren't around, however timed it to see the Guards on Parade. The most random thing I've ever seen in a theme park environment quite simply, but when in Denmark.





    Another ride on Rusty followed on, before we rode The Mine another excessively random dark ride of random. This indoor boat ride decided that laser wands shooting coloured gems would be an idea, and it actually kinda worked in the end. Random, enjoyable and long, a hidden gem. We followed with a ride on the Breakdance, which made us all miss Rodeo.



    Back to Daemonen for two more goes, was still quite good before me and Nicky decided we would brave Vertigo, a Technical Park thing of WHY?! Two planes of 4 people attached to a massive arm are either controlled by the guests or put on a preset setting, either forwards, or backwards, with a potential for a turbo mode which sends you to 5G. We didn't opt for this one, going for the basic mode, which lead us to do some mental spinning as the ride got started, then lots of flat rotations before once again spinning as we began to slow down again. One word describes Vertigo, mental. I would dread to think what turbo would be like (as I saw it often from our hotel). In the end I enjoyed it up to the spinning at the end, which was just too much, but I survived it, and would have no doubt regretted not riding in the end.





    We rode Karavanen again for 7 more laps before Mark and Holly ventured back onto the S&S, upon returning to the floor, they proclaimed that they heard Only Teardrops playing at the main stage. So we ran to discover Emilie receiving an award from some bloke and looking like she was going to leave. But then, peer pressure won out and she performed the winning song again, everyone went mental and we joined in. Certainly an unique moment to have at any park, let alone on holiday.




    We had a quick go on Rusty again before heading back into the Fun House for the girls to let off some extra steam as me and Mark made use of the free WiFi available. Another ride on Rusty in the front followed before we headed to Wagamama for food (local Danish food ftw!).
    One more ride on Daemonen followed by Rusty again and we were done. We bid farewell to Tivoli and thanked it for being a lovely park. Blackpool with a sense of decorum and class I'd like to see it as, randomly plonked in the middle of a city with some old school and modern attractions in amongst each other. We didn't see much of the actual gardens but we already have the idea to return to here over a weekend at the least, I would recommend the park to all for its atmosphere, decent attractions and of course, Rusty Banana.


  17. Benin
    A trip designed to visit one of the lesser countries in Europe known for its parks, even if it has 6 big parks, including one of the most visited in the continent, not much ever seems to come out of Denmark, so as such, this trip was created, organised and visited.
    Day 1 - Arrival and Copenhagen
    We arrived in the afternoon to a warm and humid Denmark, a certain surprise to the 4 of us who were travelling along, and it wasn't long until we realised the Danish way of life was completely different to our own. Very laid back, no expectations and a good versing in foreign languages, leading us to just speak English all week, such is the way of life.
    We picked up the car, found our hotel in central Copenhagen (near Tivoli and the central station) and began our adventures through a quick wander around the city.





    We headed to the main plaza where they were setting up a big screen for Eurovision later, whilst the Gumball derby was also taking place. We later learnt that this was a Bank Holiday Weekend for the Danes, so we had clearly timed our trip well to coincide with these events.









    We went down towards the Royal Palaces to have a quick look at them, before hunger struck us and we went back to the plaza in search for food. In the end, McDonalds was our port of call.







    Afterwards we decided to head back to the hotel via a small supermarket to stock up on drinks and snacks, and we had a mini-Eurovision night. Great fun, especially as Denmark took the honours, the atmosphere outside our hotel was bouncing around and it was great to be part of a country that won for a change.

    And with that, the first night ended on a high, and we hadn't even ridden a ride yet.
  18. Benin
    Day 6 - Djurs Sommerland
    After a long rainy drive to Aarhus the day after was nice and sunny for our next venture into the middle of nowhere for a theme park. Djurs seemed to be a 'true' theme park in comparison to the parks so far, so I was intrigued to see how they would go with it.
    We arrived into the rather empty car park and ventured to the gates.





    The park opened, and we ventured to the nearest coaster, and a highly rated one to boot, that of Piraten. Apparently the worst Mega-Lite in the world, but my first experience of one and that was an experience that had been quite hyped up to severe levels.
    Unsurprising then, that it didn't live up to such on the first ride of the day. Not to say that it was a bad ride, far from it, solid forces and pops of airtime abounded from it, cementing my opinion that all Intamins with deadly lapbars are better than their crappy OTSRs. But it seemed to have that old problem where the first drop was the best thing to it upon our first two rides. However later in the day the airtime machine within burst out into the sunlight, if only the throughputs could be improved by neglecting the seat-belts or actually giving them some length. A park in the UK would do well to buy one in the future.
    8/10


    Themed staff outfits <3



    Next up was Skattoen a Mack Water Coaster which was essentially the first half of Europa's Poseidon with the final drop latched in for good measure. This meant that there was an immense improvement to the overall ride experience due to removing the dull trek between lift hills, and was a very smooth and fun ride to boot. Was nice to get a decent soaking on the warm morning as well.
    Next on the list was the weird Sword flat ride known as Sablen. I have no idea who made this, but this Frog Hopper esque ride has a small surprise hidden within, as the ride mid-way through tilts from side to side as you rise and fall during the sequence. Nothing too intense but certainly produced some excited reactions from the small crowd riding it.





    Further into the park we delved and found Karlo's Taxi, a Wacky Worm, which was a quick smash and grab credit before we moved on towards Juvelen. Which unfortunately had yet to open at the time (this was discovered to be due to the queue flooding rather than any ride based issues), so we moved onto the next coaster and a Gerstlauer that was open on the 23rd May, Thor's Hammer. A clone of Tripsdrill's Bobsled coaster, these are a fun evolution of the original Wild Mouse concept and certainly much more exciting things to experience. One thing Gerstlauer do well are tight helixes and airtime hills. We ventured back to Juvelen and with it still not open we elected to mess around in the playground opposite, which included trampolines, a climbing volcano thing and one of those massive spider web climbing frames.




    Mark is a fierce Viking according to the Cashier




    Eventually, we spotted that Juvelen had opened, so we headed into the massive temple themed queueline. This was extremely well themed it must be said, and although a short indoor queue, this quality of theme continued into the station and the surprise pre-show room. The ATV trains are also extremely comfortable, with a simple lap bar design from under the handlebars, as such there is a lot of space and you can freely move your entire body about. A quick dispatch sends us deeper into the temple, and the surprise pre-show which makes no sense (cos Danish) and eventually the doors open and we get a short and reasonable launch into the first half of Rita. This is actually enjoyable with just lapbars, and before long another curve leads us into the second launch of the ride, which instantly hits us, slams us back and forces us into a wild second half of the ride.
    The second half focuses on quick turns left to ride, evading a few thematic pieces throughout, the main factor of this is the sudden speed achieved by the second launch, creating a mental half of the ride which ends with a few large bunny hops and ends with one final helix.
    Overall, Juvelen was a massive surprise to us all, and easily the best coaster we had experience on the trip. It fulfils quite a fair few points that few coasters hit completely, creating a ride that is fun, forceful and extremely re-rideable, proving that not all rides need to throw you around or make you grey out to be any good. I would definitely say that more parks should get a variation of these, as they can be a well themed and cheaper variation of a launched coaster that can be accessible to the majority of guests whilst still producing a good fun ride.
    9/10





    After that bundle of JOY, we searched high and low for food which led us to the Western area (stereotypical ride area themes ftw!), and after a quick bite we headed towards the Rapids. A very hidden and surprising rapids indeed, which is rather well themed and enjoys one of those surprise soaking moments that I was to play the victim of unfortunately. Either way though, a good set of rapids.
    Onwards we went and found the Topple Tower, which was boring to say the least. It sounded creaky and awful to boot and we all came off wondering why we had bothered in the end. At least the ones in Europe are open mind unlike Dollywood's.
    We found another playarea which had a massive bouncy pillow thing that are quite commonplace in a fair few European parks and we discovered how fun these things are. Would never make it over here mind.









    Next up was the African themed area, and another play area to conquer which was a long and arduous journey in the end. We then decided to experience the Jungle Cruise, in the good old traditional values of European Disney rip-offs it was full of tatty basic animatronics, tackily themed and tonnes of monkeys. Then a giant King Kong appears and the random Tunnel of DOOM and the ride just goes nuts. Europe <3








    After that craziness we decided to re-ride things, and started with Thor's Hammer before another two goes on Joyvelen. More trampolines and another play area followed before a jaunt to Ben & Jerrys.




    As we were enjoying ourselves, Mark and Holly decided to re-enact their experience on Tornado.

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/947095_10152875990465220_319960952_n.jpg

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/945153_10152875990630220_129785204_n.jpg
    After that we went back for more Piraten, which as mentioned had become a beast since the morning, before another 3 goes on Joyvelen finished the day off.
    Overall Djurs is a lovely park and we all really enjoyed our day there. An excellent selection of coasters throughout and some decent theming, it's hard to find many faults with the park. After the misery of Bakken, it was an excellent change to have a quality park appear out of the unexpectedness of it all.
    https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/970164_10152875993915220_2095919875_n.jpg
    https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/970846_10152875979625220_2027340343_n.jpg
    If you don't visit Djurs, this puppy will be sad. Do you want a sad puppy on your conscience?
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