SteveJ

I used to play violin. Well I still but not as well. I'm a bass player and I love me bass. Bass. Who doesn't love bass? Bass. And I've started piano because I'm learning to be a songwriter and all my lyrics sound like the strangest thing ever written without any music to go with it. Time to run away.

Well you answered your own question there

Then you'll know all about how dark rides use sets, forced perspective and basic illusion to give small spaces the illusion of being much bigger, and that actually it doesn't need to be a big building at all to house a great ride. Most space will be for the ride system. Even then it will very likely use screens, there's even less need for a huge building

Yet I was initially talking about the constant flurry of stupid names, of which all the ones I listed are. It's plainly obvious to any guest that most new names are overblown and unmemorable. It's also worth mentioning that the Dreamworks show was a "major" addition, at least it was a major investment behind the scenes and was supposed to be a main attraction at the park until the movie it was based on flopped. Zufari was a very major Merlin project, strange as that seems now. You're excuse about an Italian audience not making the connection doesn't stop it from being a very cumbersome and stupid name - surely even worse for Italians than for a British market? It's not "taking inspiration" - it's literally taking two British ride names and slapping them together to seem "edgy" and reference-y to get enthusiasts happy. Plus you seem to think that you can make people understand what a ride is by promoting it as well as possible. People don't know what the heck BubbleWorks is by its name, it NEVER gets promoted, yet it is miles more popular than Zufari because it gives a flavour of the theme while sounding intriguing. Nobody even knows what Hocus Pocus Hall is even once theyre in it, yet people often come into that attraction based on its name alone. A play on words that sounds like it came from a primary school animal project doesn't achieve that. I feel annoyed by it because I know how much effort was actually put into decisions like these - and how much I'd relish the chance to title a project like a movie or a ride - and how out of touch Merlin often are.

No not really, marketing is the process of trying to research what a customer wants, and they do get a fair bit of feedback about satisfaction with Zufari. Unless you mean advertising/promotion. Zufari is still the most promoted ride on park, and sometimes on odd days operators are asked to announce to the queue that they should visit Zufari as the queue is shorter, and riding Zufari even features as a 'top tip' leaflet handed out to guests. Basically everyone is desperate for you to ride Zufari. There just isn't the draw or interest. And since you asked, ahem.. "Dreamworks Penguins Of Madagascar: Operation - Cheesy Dibbles" They actually have to speak the full name on stage probably for licensing reasons "Dreamworks Penguins of Madagascar: Operation - Treetop Hoppers" Only really referred to as Treetop Hoppers, 1 year after Amazu Treetop Adventure opened. Which brings me on to "Amazu - Treetop Adventure" Do people really think this "pun" sound clever or interesting? It's a monkey enclosure with a playground. The Smiler and The Swarm are very similar names in consecutive years, both trying to sound more important because they use 'The' when most rides deliberately don't. Only The Smiler really achieves this because it was backed up by a lot of brand identity. And nobody really made the intended connection between a Swarm ("of bees?") and the metal alien theme. "Oblivion - The Black Hole" slap two established names together and you get a new one "Zafari Bar And Grill" followed by "Zufari" a year later. Also "Azteca" was already the name of an area in Sea Life before it was the name of the hotel, but they didn't seem to notice. Azteca sounds like a theme option on RCT3. "Nemesis: Sub Terra" borrows the identity from a much better ride theme in order to promote itself, when really it ought to just be "Sub Terra".

Quirky - just like the ride isn't; try explaining what it means to all the thousands of people daily who: don't recognise "Zufari Ride Into Africa" as a real usable name and just call it "the safari ride" instead (therefore getting it mixed up with Safari Skyway), and basically have no interest in it until they are told what the ride actually is. Imagine if all rides were named with the "cool" formula that is always used now to decide a new attraction's name in about 10 seconds. Skyway could be "Monozu", BubbleWorks probably "Watertastic: Bath time - The Ride", hey Nemesis could be "Alien: What Lies Beneath" and Oblivion "The Hole".

Well I think that's the same for pretty much every ride building that it houses equipment of very high energy

It's very costly to run and isn't popular because of its obscurity and hidden location, so there isn't much reason to open it earlier on quiet days. Solve this problem by changing its name from something so ambiguous and stupid, remodel the entrance so you can see it and looks more inviting. And then make it good.

It would be a very expensive curveball and if connected to this project, then highly likely to be the ride's name. Otherwise it's for a different project. This was the case with "The Smiler" being registered like this at the same stage during its construction, and again nobody thought a ride that had been advertised in such a way could be named "The Smiler". Interesting...

Really doesn't look like a standard building. Um, that's weird, what could it beeeee?

Should there be a force strong enough to make the restraint locks fail, then the seat belts wouldn't stand a chance against the same force. So they aren't a fail safe. Well that's the way I learnt it anyway

No it wouldn't fix anything, that's what I mean. They'd still have to fill alternative boats even with half the boats on. They do consider these things, in fact it's causing them much more difficulty to run it like this than it is to the guests.

They have started construction.

Because that wouldn't solve the problem. And they have tried lots of things, the only thing that works for now is what they're currently doing.

The fact that seat belts are purely aesthetic means this isn't even a good story

Erm what? It is NOTHING to do with a fire, That is a blind guess and completely false. If there was a 'reduced fire exit' then it would make no difference to evacuation having less people in the boats anyway. That's like me saying 'there must be road works on the M3 because it's about to explode' and is nonsense for a number of reasons

It's not that, Curse is going in the events marquee

It's not due to low water levels and staff do know the reasons, but it's not up to staff to tell guests this

And that's all they built too

Surely the nitpicking is in the thinking of how many ways this naff picture is excusable? I'm sure everyone's gut feeling upon seeing this picture was that it was just daft. You shouldn't be that surprised that people speak up about it, and if people didn't then this quality would just become the standard. Personally I don't really care about it because it's just the standard I pessimisticslly expect this time of year. The video surprises me though because it isn't some 'have a go' lunch time project and they actually got a team to make it properly. It's just a bad picture, it doesn't have feelings so let it go

Remember the people who make the posters have nothing to do with the people making the ride...

No, all rides will be available.

You're not wrong and of course it will be forgotten, but it's clearly very out of touch with what actually intrigues and attracts people. It shows they spent about 1 minute making it and think 'that will do, nobody will care tomorrow anyway'. Whereas there are many people out there who would love the opportunity to entertain and excite people with little promo teases like this and would put in the right effort.

The main coasters do not earn three hour queues, that's the highest I've ever seen Vampire in recent years and that's likely because of excessive Fastrack selling and slower operations for whatever reason. I know park expansion isn't possible but that's the only true solution to 90% of Chessington's problems with guest experience. It's the reason there was never another major rollercoaster after Vampire 25 years ago (Dragon's Fury is still something of a filler coaster masquerading as a headline ride), the reason for a high charge for the only tarmac car park and why queues are excessively long for everything, not just rides.

Yes, the photo is awful, that's all that can be said about it really. I'm not being rude, I think Merlin would love you to work for them with your skill of always finding a way to rationally defend poor work. Thank goodness for the video which is wonderful and really the MINIMUM standard a promo video for a UK theme park should be.