Rank the Thorpe Park coasters

[Matt N]

Hi guys. Thorpe Park has 7 different roller coasters which are arguably a big part of what makes the park what it is today, but surprisingly, we don't appear to have a topic ranking them and discussing our favourites, so I thought I'd make one! With that in mind, my simple question to you this evening is; how would you rank Thorpe Park's coasters? Which is your favourite?

 

I'll get the ball rolling with my list (the bold bit after each comment is my rating out of 10 compared to the other coasters I've ridden, as well as the ride's ranking within my overall count):

1. Nemesis Inferno - This never used to be top, but I've got to say that it's grown on me a fair amount over time! The forces are solid without being too excessive (no unpleasant grey out moments here!), the ride holds its pace well throughout, it's smooth, it has some nice inversions, and overall, I just think Inferno is a really solid coaster! I never fail to enjoy it, and it always offers a solid inverted coaster experience, in my view. As for the Nemesis comparison... I'm in the minority who actually prefers Inferno. I find Inferno to keep its pace more consistently throughout, I find that it hits a nicer sweet spot intensity-wise (I find the grey out in Nemesis' helix a bit unpleasant), and Inferno is also smoother. Overall, though, Inferno is a very solid coaster in my view! 8/10, #13/91
2. Stealth - Coming in at a close second, this is a ride I do really like! Stealth might be a one trick wonder, but it does that trick very well indeed, in my opinion; that punchy hydraulic launch never fails to deliver, and there's some decent airtime to be had over the top hat! It also felt a fair bit smoother on my recent visit; I don't know if they've done something to it for 2022, but the roughness that was there in 2021 seemed mostly gone aside from a fairly mild rattle, which enhanced my enjoyment of the ride a fair bit compared to last year! It is a great ride! However, there are a few reasons why it's not higher. The first is how short it is; I love what the ride does, but there's just so little of it. Even compared to a fellow one trick ride like Oblivion (firmly in my top 10!), it does seem like a bit of a "blink and you'll miss it" type ride, which will inhibit how highly it can rank for me. The second one is comfort; I'm not a huge lover of the ride's restraints, and I'd like it a bit more if it had different ones. The final one is consistency; I've done the ride on the front row, and it is legendary (you'd be surprised by just how much difference the front row makes to Stealth)... but none of the other rows hit quite as hard. Even though the ride goes very fast and you definitely feel the force of the launch, you feel somewhat shielded from the sense of speed in the other rows in a way that you don't on the front. One quality I really rate in rides is consistency, so Stealth does suffer for me due to the fact that it has quite a distinct "magic seat" that outweighs all of the others. Still, it's a cracking coaster, and one I always enjoy! Although perhaps controversially, I actually prefer Rita of the two British Intamin launch coasters... 8/10, #15/91
3. The Swarm - Swarm is good fun, but a slightly sad one to write about for me. Swarm is a coaster I enjoy, don't get me wrong... but I've gone off it somewhat in recent years. It spent a 2 year stint as my all time number 1 before I rode Mako in 2016 (well, technically Montu, but Mako was its more significant successor on the same trip, a day later), and it spent many years as both my favourite Thorpe coaster and one of my favourites in the UK. It's my most ridden coaster outside of Alton Towers. In terms of what I love about it; I think the winged seating position produces such a brilliant sense of speed, and I think some of those elements are terrific (that first drop where you rush towards the ground, and that final inversion that flings you out of your seat over the station, are just pure ecstasy, in my view!). However, I've been increasingly finding a few niggles with the experience that are becoming harder for me to overcome with time, hence why the ride has slid down my rankings over the years. The first is the smoothness, and overall consistent delivery; the ride isn't as smooth as it used to be, and while the inner seats are still fine for the most part, the outer seats seem to jitter a fair bit these days, which does detract a bit for me and make the ride lose points for consistency. The second is the intensity; I almost consistently grey out for multiple seconds during the low turn over the water, and while I know some enjoy this sensation, I personally find it somewhat unpleasant, and it does detract from my enjoyment. The third, and probably most pressing, niggle for me is the restraints. I used to love the B&M vest restraints, but as I've aged and gotten bigger, I've grown to not particularly like them. I'm not a fan of how rigid they are and how they tighten throughout the layout; I find that the tightening can sometimes really take away from the experience, and take the sting out of some of the ride's best elements (that sublime inversion at the end can certainly have some of the sting taken out of it by a tight restraint, as was the case on my last ride in 2022). Overall, Swarm is a fun coaster that I do enjoy for some of its stronger aspects, but various niggles are keeping it from ranking any higher for me these days. 7/10, #23/91
4. Saw The Ride - Saw is a weird one for me. There's many elements of it I really like; the airtime is absolutely smashing, the dark ride section is great, and the pacing is really good! However... I can't rate it overly highly because it's just so rough in places. Admittedly, my last few rides haven't been too bad, hence why the ride doesn't fare too badly placement-wise at the moment, but there are some very prominent headbanging moments on it that detract from the ride fairly significantly for me, namely the transition from the first drop into the Immelmann and the dive loop after the MCBR. These can leave you with a real headache if you ride the ride on a bad day, and they're pretty unpleasant moments of roughness even on a good one. The ride can also be fairly rattly in other places, and I always come off it feeling somewhat battered and bruised, even on one of the ride's better runs... which is a shame seeing as I actually really like the layout itself. The roughness doesn't seem to have been quite as bad as in the past recently, though, hence why it doesn't fare too badly compared to where it has ranked in the past... my recent rides have been a spate of "good" runs. 5/10, #47/91
5. The Walking Dead The Ride (last ridden as X) - I haven't actually done this since it was rethemed to The Walking Dead, so I'm basing this review off of one ride back in 2014, but I remember X being a perfectly fine, if not earth-shattering, family roller coaster. It was perfectly adequate as a family coaster, but nothing about it really stands out in my memory 8 years on. 4/10, #56/91
6. Flying Fish - This is a perfectly fun little powered coaster; not one of the stronger powered coasters I've done, but for what it is, I think Flying Fish is a perfectly fun ride; it has some nice speed in those helixes, and it's overall not a bad little family ride! 4/10, #67/91
7. Colossus - I've ridden this numerous times as of late really wanting to like it, but I never seem to enjoy Colossus at all. From my experience, it is excruciatingly rough to the point where I never fail to walk off with a headache and very bruised ears, and I don't like the cars/restraints at all; I'm not particularly tall, but I find them hard to get in and out of, and I find the restraints really clasp to my thighs and leave me feeling pretty uncomfortable. Roughness and cars notwithstanding, I'm also not a fan of the series of slow heartline rolls that make up a considerable percentage of the ride; I find the slow hangtime uncomfortable, and I tend to just cling on and wait for the rolls to end rather than enjoy them. It's a shame that it's so rough and uncomfortable, because the ride looks stunning, and even though the second half isn't my cup of tea regardless of the ride comfort, I think the first half actually has real promise! Sadly, though, I don't enjoy Colossus at all; it's easily one of my least favourite coasters of all time. 1/10, #90/91

 

I apologise if I come across overly negative or nitpicky in some of these reviews; I try to be a balanced, constructive and generally positive reviewer, but I also strive to be 100% honest about my opinions and experiences. I do think Thorpe has a good coaster selection, but strangely, none of their coasters are among my very favourites. Hopefully Exodus will change that!

 

But how would you rank the Thorpe Park coasters?

[coasterverse]

Funny you should mention that because I made a video on this at the beginning of the year:

 

 

I explained it more in depth in the video but I'll vaguely recap here. My personal rankings are:

 

7. Flying Fish: Great for a kids ride or for someone who's never ridden a coaster before and wanting to dip their toes in the water... but obviously every other coaster at the park is more thrilling and enjoyable imo so couldn't really place it anywhere higher than last.

 

6. Colossus: As far as I'm concerned, the worst big coaster at the park. For its age the theming and whatnot is very impressive, but the coaster is incredibly uncomfortable, the restraints are awful and for anyone even slightly above average height will be pushed for legroom.

 

5. Nemesis Inferno: Granted, Inferno is the better Nemesis of the two. And quite honestly, I do find it enjoyable. However, as someone that sometimes seriously struggles with motion sickness - Inferno has always just sent me over the edge. As a result I'm not able to ride it very often at all, so can't really place it any higher than this either.

 

4. The Walking Dead: The Ride: I really do like TWD. The pre-show and... post-show? is incredible (by Thorpe's standards). Yeah I get that the actual coaster portion is just your bogstandard Vekoma family coaster, but even the portion where the train 'stalls' and needs restarting just adds to the exhilaration for me. The theming inside of the actual ride portion could use some updating as the zombies just look like your generic fun-fair ghost train style props... but if they ever implemented some actual animatronics to this ride (and proper lighting so you can actually see things rather than 2 second flashes of light) I think it could be insane.

 

3. The Swarm: The Swarm is incredible. Extremely smooth, the theming is incredible... there really is a lot to love about this coaster. But personally I just find it gets a bit tame and boring in the second half. It's all amazing right up until the helix around the helicopter, and then it totally peters out in speed and intensity.

 

2. SAW: The Ride: Deciding upon these next two coasters was a real battle. I love everything about SAW. It's got a great queueline, the use of the Billy pre-show is great, some of those tight elements in the layout are insane - it genuinely does feel like a deathtrap (but in a good sense, as that's exactly what the ride is supposed to simulate). Granted it can be incredibly painful and you need to act on the side of caution not to re-ride in too quick succession to avoid a brain hemorrhage, but that's all part of the experience baby! Oh, and I absolutely LOVE that the trim brakes near the end of the layout aren't functional, genuinely.

 

1. Stealth: Stealth is my baby, man. What it lacks in theming it absolutely makes up for in speed. Stealth takes my breath away every single time I ride and I still get anxiety when I sit down and wait for dispatch. Also... those views you get at the top of the top hat are incredible! 

[Cal]

For me its:

 

1) Stealth - Never used to be my favourite Thorpe coaster but loved it more and more in recent years. Easily the most re rideable on park and is just as enjoyable every time.

 

2) Inferno - I often overlook Inferno as I compare it to Nemesis. It gets better and better every year, Its always one of my favourite coasters at the park to ride in the dark it absolutely flies round in the evenings at Fright nights. 

 

3) Colossus - I have a soft spot for Colossus. In my teenage years it was always my favourite coaster at the park. Always loved its soundtrack and the way the area and queue interacts with the ride. Its a good layout and although its a little rough, I really don't find it as rough as others say.

 

4) Swarm - Surprisingly for most, this was always my least favourite out of the 5 in its early years, I found it forceless and the layout too short. As times gone on I've liked it more and more. Its super re rideable and its got much more forceful over the years, love the helix by the helicopter.

I find the vest restraints incredibly uncomfortable, not sure about anyone else but have found them to be even tighter in recent years and when I hit the breakrun I can't wait to get out of my seat. This massively hinders the overall enjoyment for me.

 

5) SAW - To be honest I've never been the biggest fan of Saw. Find it rougher and more uncomfortable than Colossus which is the main reason I'd rank it lower. I do love its theme though and there are few good elements I enjoy. Although its my least favourite out of the 5 I still tend to ride it on most of my visits if it doesn't have much of a queue.

 

6) Walking dead - Preferred what they did with X and will never understand why they changed it to this after the reasons they rethemed to X. Its once again a 1.4m restriction on a non thrilling ride.

 

7) Fish - Good for what it is.

[LukeKenno]

My Thorpe rankings are..

1. Nemesis Inferno, for me my number one off ride like the theme, the soundtracks both old and new the booming low frequency in the queue and the base in the station that adds to the area and the interlocking corkscrews element path views. On ride I like the speed it carries throughout l, the twist and turns and the rush of blood to the head as you walk down the stairs recovering from the forces.

2. Swarm, A very close number 2 torn between right or left side but my past few visits tend to ride the left rear when possible. Off ride swarm island is in my eyes the best area of the park which says a lot with broken screens graffiti all over the station etc but anyway an area well done and I actually quite like the current mishmash of music the area currently has between the old and new music. On ride great first drop followed by the near miss elements and forces feel a tad too restricted with the vest restraints which is the only reason it’s number 2 as I like a looser restraint.

3. Colossus, I always enjoy the interactiveness you get walking along the paths to this ride. Are the trains terrible YES are the restraints even worse OF COURSE but I enjoy the layout and the length of ride time you get with Colossus plus at the time was quite a big deal for Thorpe. I don’t find it too rough to the point I’m not able to enjoy it.

4. Stealth, Now as much as I appreciate the ride and maybe never experiencing a front row could be a reason why it’s not higher but I value a ride that has a longer ride time and for me it’s a do once if there’s time and no queue, love the launch just personally prefer longer coasters.

5. Walking Dead, I always have fun on this with watching others reactions down the corridors and when they have the Zombies in the canteen, I know this isn’t meant to be a funny theme but with that along side a fun little coaster that’s good enough for me.

6. Saw, Love the theme the area the layout of the ride and wish I could enjoy this thing unfortunately I just don’t enjoy how rough it is no matter if inside or outside front or back row the pain I get after with head, neck and shoulders mean it’s a once a year job for me which is a shame, any tips appreciated I’m only 5,11 and have no problems with Colossus but can’t not manage to look after myself on this one.

7. Flying fish, does what it’s meant to do well great starter coaster for nostalgic reasons always have a ride on this.