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Give in to absolute Theme park pleasure!

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JoshuaA

So if you have seen me around the forums, you'll probably know I have a slight obsession with Europa Park.
Today I'll be going over my sexual fetish over this theme park, and just why I love this place.
Get your drugs and your overpriced coffee ready, and enjoy!

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Operations:
Europa Park is pretty **** with its operations.

3 trains on a B&M, 3 on a GCI, 4-5ish on Euromir/Bluefire, and insanely quick dispatches.

Like, 1 train operations is the way to go!

Even worse, I didn't witness a single breakdown in my 3 days there..

Like I didn't even get to go to guest services to complain.

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Theming:
Okay sarcasm aside, Europa Park is quite well known for its insanely good theming.
The park really go above and beyond with theming.
Things like themed toliets, or that satellite thing-y near Euro-Mir really show how much effort goes into theming their rides
Now in terms of standouts, the French, Greek, and Arthur areas all standout for me, but quite honestly, the whole park is beautiful.

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The rides.. Yes, its a theme park:
So as well as Europa's flawless theming and operations, their ride collection is also obviously quite strong.
Standouts for me are obviously Blue Fire, Wodan, and Arthur, but their is so many little gems around the park that are worth mentioning.
Even some of the cookie cutter rides you see at every park standout at Europa- like Fjord Rafting, which is nicely themed and a near flawless rapids that left me lovely and wet..;)

Others worth noting is their Mine Train- which has a super awesome diamond cave section, and The Arena Of Football, which is a super fun twist on the super standard bumper cars.

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Shows:
Shows in Theme Parks are something that are IMO criminally underated.
Shows can really break up a day, and who doesn't like a bit of live entertainment?
The Standout to me had to be their Ice Show, which was incredibly fun and campy.
Also some male eye candy in there.. Not gonna lie.

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Overall:

all in all- Europa Park remains a flawlessly ran park that also looks beautiful.

As well as this, they also have a strong lineup of rides like Arthur, Blue Fire, and Wodan.

The park is easily one of the best parks in the world.

Anyway thanks for reading.. here's a orgasmic picture of Euro-Mir taken by a sexy friend of mine..

(his name is josh)

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JoshuaA

So, hey frens and fellow geeks.
2016 has been a pretty good year for me in terms of Theme Parks, so I thought I'd like to do a sarcastic recap of some of my major trips this season!
Bulgaria:

So even though you'd think this third world(ish) country would have nothing in terms of roller coasters..

In my cheap and tacky summer travels, I came across the best coaster I'd ever ridden, the best coaster in the world, a true beauty..

Image result for Fury 325

Why have that when you can have this..

CwrUxmqXUAEzlxJ.jpg:large Isn't it brilliant? Maybe Thorpe should install one next to their Aqua Trax? 

 

Blackpool Pleasure Beach:

So obviously I needed something more ugly, something more tacky, so that's when I found BPB.

Anyways, it was worth the trip up north.

Skyforce was better than expected, the classic woodies where as fun as ever, and Wild Mouse was as brutally fun as ever!

Infusion though.. Was much more rough then I remembered, so much, its taken my place for my least favourite coaster of all time!

And.. Valhalla :wub:

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PortAventura:

My main trip this year was to the poorly operated PortAventura!

Was it worth it yes? Why? SHAMBHALA!!! SHAMBHALA!

Sorry, anyway Shambhala was brill as always, Furius Baco was fun but brutal, and Dragons Khan was intense and fun like usual.

The only new thing for me at the park was the revamp of their 3D theatre in the Polynesia area.

The complete unnecessary revamp of the theatre has left the attraction looking out of place, and the show itself is extremely poor.

The show is just regurgitated scenes taken from a seven year old movie.. Alton's version completely blows it out of the water, good job Merlin..

 

Other than that there is some neat shows.. The Stunt Show in Far West, The Can Can Show, and Templo Del Fuego are all as brilliant as always.

 

Horror In Texas- Review:

Throughout the park they where advertising a scare attraction for a small up-charge fee of 5 euro.

So being the Scare Enthusiast that I am, I willingly payed as soon as I saw it advertised.

Horror In Texas is a Scare Attraction built in a marquee under Tomahawk/Stampidas mess of wood, and oh god was it worth them five euros!

The attraction had me on edge for nearly the entirety of it, and actors came out of nowhere, thick and fast!

The attraction was a bit generic and goofy with its theming attempts, but it worked in a weird way!

Even though being right next to two loud woodies, I didn't notice any noise bleed!

The attraction also felt quite long.. And the attraction had a constant tense atmosphere which startled everyone in our group!

 

Anyway that's all for today folks, good job to anyone who got to the end!

Have a good holiday season guys, and have a happy new year!

I'll leave you on this note.. SHAMBHALA!

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