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The Smiler: How the Correction Occurs



For a few years now Towers has been subject to a mind marmalising force known as the Ministry of Joy and I think it's only time I reveal some of the hidden secrets after we persuaded a few Smile Assistants we want to help correct others. To do so we had to receive a grand tour of the correctional device. Be warned, what you see and read today is top secret and may correct you just by looking at it. It is your own choice to continue reading this...


Before embarking upon the process we decided to analyse the mysterious goings on by the Ministry. Maybe if we could work out their ways we'd be able to avoid correction.

11079672_1112150488810378_8211485273766971039_n_zpsis6wpep7.jpgHowever, it is very difficult to understand this mess.

11018635_1112150398810387_5384144087707855312_n_zpsdsyi4t8f.jpgSome advocates were being corrected as we watched on.


As we approached we were already being told to join them.


We knew from the start, trying to find out how they correct people without being corrected would be difficult.


Here is a vehicle to make you smiling advocates. Did you know, on Smiler they are called vehicles, Oblivion are shuttles, Air are crafts and the other coasters are trains. Random.


It was time to reach the top and try and understand the mess.


It seems to completely correct you it has two halves... must be two rides.




We were informed by the Smile Assistant Matt that this large tree in the middle is the height tree for X-Sector. Back in 1998 when the lord of Darkness was trying to force people to look down, the Ministry of Joy had to make the tree taller so put more ground under it. By doing so they could build Oblivion. However, in 2011/12 a storm threatened the trees existence so they chained it down because without it they may have had to close Oblivion and wouldn't have been able to build the correctional device that is Smiler. It is also 1 metre taller than Oblivion.


Low and behold the device itself! In the background you can see Enterprise but originally that was meant to leave instead of Submission. Engineering got £10,000 to get Submission back to having its two arm working together which the Ministry couldn't wait for! However, some management people decided it hurt too many people and wasn't making them Smile so they got rid of it and spent the £10,000 on Enterprise.


Under the twisted track is the queueing pen. It is made up of 6 areas, area 1 the Optical procedure room, area 2 the one outside that, area 3 has the shop alongside area 4, area 5 being the back corner and area 6 the new extension up to the toilets. Now, there are 3-5 ways of fully optimising the queue but you are meant to do it in order so 6-5-4-3-2-1 as much as possible so people can work out the queue time. Smile Assistant Dave told us of this time he made it do like 6-5-2-3-1-4 or something crazy and no one could work out the queue time... it has also never been replicated as no one can work out how he did it. In total there are as many as 20 possible queue line possibilities in some form.


Here we see the first lift... the secrets lie within the tunnel.


For the geeks.


These arrows help you to know where correction is... not like you have a choice though.


This door <3 There used to be a set of stairs here. The door is in the baggage room and it was meant for Smile Assistants to use in case a vehicle stopped on the brake run before the first lift. However, some staff took the fun too far and were opening it going boo, knocking on it and so on. So, they moved the metal staircase around the corner to which it now leads to nowhere and the door is permanently locked.


The first of 14.


So elegant. (I fear I'm starting to be corrected...)


Ah the glass floor. Smile Assistant Matt told us it works better with the lights on and was meant to help correction. But, due to delays on the Swiss side of things the whole tunnel was rushed to completion. It was originally meant to continue the Optical Procedure but this never happened. They'd love it to get completed but don't think it ever will.


Here is where you leave the station.


If you wave at the Smile Op and they wave back at you with their foot, that is because upon dispatch they have to hold two buttons down for 5 seconds before Correction can begin. And you all thought they were just being weird (yeah they are).


We then went into the pit. Yes, it is mainly made of concrete.


And track.


And muddy arrows.




The reason parts of the supports go into the concrete and others like this tiny one are encased in footers is because the support wasn't long enough (due to the groundwork issues) so instead of waiting for new pieces they used the materials they had (a lot of concrete obviously).


The Marmaliser.

It was all starting to get too much!!! So we went for a walk.


We came across this chained up tree.


On the walk a witch stopped us and said "You will either get corrected or for every geek who comes to visit this tree Nemesis will slowly be destroyed." I couldn't let this happen!

So 7 goes later followed by a further 4...


We were corrected.


And Nemesis keeps going strong!

So remember one thing guys,

11124552_1112149838810443_6516977936092404136_n_zpsjcgehmuh.jpgSmile. Always.


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