Double posting because I'm cool and after a conversation in chat I have decided to divulge and tell you some things about me. My Dad is not a nice person and my sisters worse, many people think I exaggerate until they see it for themselves so think what you will but either way it brings me onto a point of my sister has always come first no matter what. Well one of the attributes of my Dad is that because my sister has come first, I get ignored at home. So that's home that I'm ignored at.Now school, one teacher did pay attention but only for one lesson when people were shouting stuff at me, throwing numerous of items and every now and then some ice cold water. She said to my sister that it seems like Holly just lives in a little bubble and doesn't notice anything. Considering that was after years of bullying what else was I going to do? My sister just said she's like it at home. I went back to being ignored, bullying continued. Friends, I didn't have any until Year 10 and even then, they weren't friends, they were the worst bully's just because they made me feel like I had friends and then would do stuff to me and be nasty, pin the blame on me. Got rid of them eventually, go me! College started and by this point I just didn't talk about stuff. Point blank refused. College tried to get me to do counselling but I couldn't do it.One of the things my Dad taught me was that I'm a waste of space, the fact that I breathe the same air as him disgusts him and that nothing is wrong with me other than that I'm useless. So now I struggle to tell people what's wrong, to open up and to go to the doctors about anything really because I'm so scared that they are just going to reject me like my Dad did. The point is all my life I've been ignored and every now and then someone will show that actually they do care and something might be wrong but it wont be followed up because I can't talk about it. So yeah there's a bit of reasoning behind why I don't talk about things. It spans more than just that but like I said I can't talk about it.