Benin

So we come to the end of what has been a rather disappointing year in the UK (there’s no two ways about that) it was up to the park’s abroad to show us how to do things, and that is something they most certainly did.
United Kingdom
I didn’t actually visit any non-Merlin UK parks this year, I nearly made it to Mingoland but fortunately that didn’t pan out.
The additions to the Merlin parks sounded good (at least if you weren’t Thorpe, who seemingly cannot think of suitably well thought out additions when not building a roller coaster), with Zufari being inspired from one of the most engaging Disney rides, and Smiler’s secretive and fantastic advertising showing that when they put their minds to it our parks can advertise things properly. But what went wrong?
Alton Towers
This one is clear, Smiler was both the best and worst thing about this year for Towers. The positives are simple, it is the biggest ride that has been built in the country for years, it captured the imagination of the public, it is a marvel of engineering/construction, the advertising was going well, it clearly boosted the park attendances upon opening. It was what people wanted.
Unfortunately, whoever Towers hired to build the thing probably appeared on that BBC show that sort out dodgy companies in a previous life. The list is longer than the Ultimate of what went wrong, the primary issues surrounding the ground it was built on being surveyed incorrectly which meant they had to delay half the construction in order to concrete the ride it properly. Then of course the winter decided to throw snow onto the matter, delaying it further. Subsidence, flooding, storms, incorrect placement of track, aligning issues, etc. were also major influences on the ride’s construction. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ride construction be so flawed and have so many external issues added on.

One of the few track pieces inserted correctly...
Then of course, the ride opened, then closed, then opened again, then threw bolts at people. Gerstlauer’s biggest project became the world’s biggest pain, which is a real shame because the ride itself is fantastic (although still the 3rd best ride on the park), but the rushed construction, poor planning and awful contractors will be this ride’s legacy, in amongst the countless breakdowns and the like.
Elsewhere on park, it was a weird situation, as Smiler made the park rather top-heavy in investment. Constant other issues like storms, poor ride reliability and powercuts meant that the park didn’t particularly have good PR for the season (see also the July Smiler breakdown which wasn’t communicated until about 3 days before it re-opened). However, what has been a shining light this year has been the entertainments department, which involved the fantastic pirate show with Roger Ramrod, the new Park Keepers who eventually got a vehicle to tour in, the Orchestra in the Summer; a relatively decent array of stuff for Halloween and the Fireworks. For our parks, where shows are particularly high on the agenda, these were a real joy to see happen; and easily the best part of the year for Towers. I hope that this continues on into the future more than anything.

Fantastic ride, a legacy of issues...
Chessington
Where does one begin? Zufari ended up being a cluster of good ideas badly executed in the worst possible way. Bunnygate. Runaway Train was SBNO all season. Dragon Falls lost its theming. Rameses died. Vampire’s operations got worse somehow. Across the board the park was quite simply, dreadful, and will probably see a very low attendance figure this season (more than usual at any rate).

Just when you thought Chessie couldn't get any worse... 2013 happened...
The Halloween event was probably the best week of their season, and even then the not-so-late openings and general park issues couldn’t be ignored. Most of the theming was non-existant based on previous years attempts. Their two mazes were excellent value for their minimal budget though, with Hocus Pocus Hall’s refurb being a complete surprise. However, that cannot skim over the fact that the park has easily been the worst one this year, and with nothing to look forward to next year (though this can be brought to all Merlin parks, though Towers will get LOTS of guests next year), I simply cannot get excited for it.
Thorpe
In a strange turn of events, the park that did nothing of real value (Mraws is still a poorly designed gimmick and X really isn’t that special) did the most by doing what they should’ve been doing for years. Expanding the social network side and using it to their full potential, whilst creating new events (some which worked well, some which didn’t, Summer Nights variated beyond belief as to the quality of the event, although popularity was non-existant, which isn’t the best indicator of the worthiness of an event from the park’s POV) and just generally keeping a decent improved profile this year.

This was the Ice Scream event...
Will it improve matters completely? It’s hard to tell, as currently the park’s portfolio of rides and attempt at a new direction are very much at odds at each other whilst they also have to get rid of the old image of unreliable rides (which Slammer doesn’t help), long queues and Fastrack over-selling on a regular basis. The two former issues still exist on the park, even with the random attempt at complete Virtual Queuing for Swarm, which still seemed to have plenty of teething problems.
Fright Nights apparently existed, although that wasn’t particularly clear even when visiting the park during it advertised (the second time of the year an advertised event didn’t exist, Ice Scream I’m looking at you). The park-wide theme amounted to a CAD entrance sign, film music and the same announcement on every ride with Detonator being the only modified version. The roaming actors were very good though, both sets (Director and You’re Next), but it just didn’t feel like there was an event going on, which is very disappointing when the park was calling it “the UK’s answer to HHN”, that has plenty of theming on the park, Thorpe did not.
Apparently the mazes were good (or not so good, opinions varied across the board for both Thorpe and Towers’ attempts), although my experience of Blair Witch Project was simply diabolical. Fortunately for it Walibi’s Zombie River exists, which was worse, but not by much.

Thorpe let me know in no uncertain terms that my feedback is always appreciated...
PR aside, the park has advanced to doing the basic minimum I want from our parks. But they made a lot more effort this year to improve the guest interaction and issues, which can only be considered a good thing. Just hope that this extends further in Thorpe’s DNA and also to the other parks.
Legoland
Legoland still exists for some reason. Miniland is an absolute TIP and needs fixing up as standard. Elsewhere it’s still the usual meh place really with nothing spectacular going on. It really needs a decent new ride in there. Well themed high throughput coaster preferably, but currently I do wonder why I bothered going at all. Still, not that worst park of the season.
In another post, I’ll look at all the International parks I visited. Check back soon.

In what will probably be an unsurprising development, our 2nd park of the weekend was Plopsaland, because we all love it to bits.


It also has an immense amount of new things at the place this year, from a new MASSIVE theatre, two new rides in a newly themed area, and two rethemed rides (the kiddie cred and onion boats) which is really fantastic to see. Add this to the hotel development which is on-going and it does seem like the park is going places.


They had a good amount of Halloween stuff going on as well, and numerous walking characters because why not? We faffed about the entrance area and K3 Museum before the park opened and we headed over to Vleermuis, the Batflyer since I had only the one side of it and both are separate creds (cue arguments). I forgot how much of a burden it was to get into it and I eventually sat in the child seat. Urgh. Still, plus 1.



After this we meandered a bit and found the Lapins, a bunny variant on the infamous porn ponies, so naturally we had to ride them because they’re FAB.




It was then time for our favourite ride on park, Anubis, which has led to us becoming quite massive fans of the TV show (Nickelodeon’s version, not the Dutch one) and very goony about it. Hell, we even played the Board Game in the hotel on the Friday night. Either way, the ride is still very good, aside from the awful rattle you get off the launch; everything else is pretty damn smooth. It also gains points for finale in-line times.




Up next was the brand new Wickieland and its two new rides. On my last visit this was but a circus tent, but now it’s a lovely themed area with one of the best themed flat rides I’ve ever seen. We first did the Splash Battle of Burden, as the queue is unfinished and people waiting to get off can just fire at you without fear of retribution. In addition to that, you can also get people on the Disko Coaster, which is a hilarious concept indeed. The ride itself was a Splash Battle though, so nothing special really.



The Disko was next, and unsurprisingly that too rode like one, only sans bouncing which disappointed me slightly. However it does look immense and puts Kobra to absolute shame.





We fancied a bit of dark ride action so went to the Forest of Plop, which is still as fab and weird as before. We also petted a moody cow in the farm area before electing to have some food because hungry times were abound. This resulted in Waffles of JOY <3





After the waffles we went into Maya Land, which is a lovely indoor themed area. We did the Slide before the Waterlillies (a Demolition Derby) and finishing on the Flying Flowers of Burden, which were Dumbos but with annoying water fountains. Mergh.






We decided for another 2 goes on Anubis before heading off towards the newly partially rethemed area. It so far looks a lot better than it did 2 years ago that’s for certain, and hopefully when they finish doing the other coaster and the Teacups it’ll look even better. We did the Onion Boats and found a rubber ducky before Victor’s Race, a Zierer Tivoli with very happy planets and a dinosaur control box.




It was then time for the first show in the new Theatre, and the entire park seemingly decided to go and see it. It was our first glimpse into the new building and all I can say is wow. There is a MASSIVE reception area which can be used for business functions and probably the hotel in the future. Then inside the theatre itself it looks fantastic, with comfy seats and just all modern stuff. Pete the Pirate was the show in question with a Halloween theme, and the guy doing it was the same who appears in the TV show and epic looking Film. Chalk another for the European park shows, as it had catchy shows and typical kid-friendly amusements.


We then went in search of other shows, but this led us to the amazing doughy balls of sugary joy! They even had raw dough within them! OM-NOM-NOM!

The Roller-Skater was next, with it’s weird theme and covered in old theming from the rethemed Zierer. The painting techniques on the back of the washing machine were fab though.


Into the Castle area and we watched the Witches show, which involved dancing, interaction and sweeties! After a quick run around on Draak, the Mack powered coaster of epic music and weird layout, we sat down for the Ron and Jon show. This was basically a lot of slapstick between two guys which was then exacerbated by a giant monkey of WHY?! It was still quite funny though and it was nice to see a show we could understand.






After that it was 2 more goes on Anubis, a bit of shopping and the journey home. We could’ve stayed for the last show, but I think Walibi took a lot out of us the day before.

Unfortunately our trip home was a disaster, as we were turned around from the EuroTunnel due to a stuck train to the ferry, which was delayed so we had to wait around 2 hours to even leave the country, by which point the trains had started up again. Then the ferry was a burden as well. And the rain, the constant miserable rain. URGH. Got back at 12:30 Monday morning and went straight to bed, making a disappointing end to a fantastic weekend.

So after a month of going to all the Merlin Halloween events the ‘last’ weekend of the month needed to be something different. As such, discussions were had and plans put in place for a quick jaunt over the Channel on a Friday afternoon to enjoy a weekend of Belgian creds and scary things.
The Saturday was at Walibi, which has had an interesting life it must be said, and recently rebranded itself to a rather different park theme of a music band.



They also hold one of Belgium’s premier Halloween events, including a character who has a 5 year history as part of the event, roams the park hurling abuse at people and is on Facebook. The event is so popular that the two days prior to our visit the park had to close early due to capacity reasons. Fortunately, as John had been talking to local enthusiasts, we had purchased the R.I.P (in peace) passes.

These were €35 (or €25 on other days depending on opening hours) and got you Fastrack on 5 rides of your choosing, all the scare mazes, a visit to the Zombie Bar, priority seating area for Fireworks and 10% off in shops. Limited to 500 a day, this certainly screamed value for money, especially when there are 2 hour queues involved.
The park opened at 10 to begin the 11 hour day, and we headed right to the opposite end of the park to the most famous ride in Belgium…
Psyke Underground
It’s a Schwarzkopf Shuttle Loop! Yaaaay! This has had a chequered history as well, including stalls, being put semi-indoors, noise complaints, closure, etc. But this year the park enclosed the entire thing and added a bit of theming to make it fit the ‘music park’ theme. They also turned the launch into LSMs, which made me happy.
The queue was non-existent, so we were straight on and ready to go. A small pre-show occurs (although little context is provided to what’s going on) and we’re slowly set off on our way to a countdown.
The launch then kicks in.
Chalk another win up for rolling LSM launches above the other types, as you are propelled into the darkness and through the classically intense loop before heading up the first spike and then repeat the loop backwards, dash through the station with strobes going off and slightly up the backwards spike before returning back into the station.
It’s simple, effective; it’s rather good in fact. I do hope that the park’s plans to continue improving the experience (the outdoor portion of the queue is dull, and could be turned into a disco scene, more lights and a requirement to play the rather epic soundtrack are also required) come to fruition, because it really is the best coaster on the park.
7/10



We rode it a second time in the front (because the ride experience really differs on your row), before heading off in search of other rides. Firstly, we hit up the Zierer Tivoli for 3 laps of +1, whilst next door was a dark ride I was quite interested in experiencing.
Challenge of Tutankhamon
A Sally trackless dark ride with multiple (3) possible endings and lots of awesome effects? Where do I sign up?
This in the end was quite cool, and we managed to get the super-secret bonus ending first time around. Horray for us! There was however no fire which was disappointing. However most of the animatronics and other effects were very good. Be interesting to see what they do with this considering how it doesn’t fit in at all to the new branding.
We next headed into the Wild West area, where Calamity Mine awaited, a Vekoma Mine Train of the standard two lift hill clone type. It was alright I guess; nothing really special to write home about. With the rumours surrounding the Western area in general however the ride could look damn awesome next year.


Continuing our walk back to the park entrance we went into the 4D Cinema in French as we thought we might understand it better.
We didn’t, but it was quite a decent show unique to the park’s brand. Decent level of effects without resorting to the burdenous leg ticklers either. Good.
We then met up with Kristof, local Walibi enthusiast extraordinaire before deciding to go on Cobra, which he quickly backed out of. It is a Vekoma Boomerang after all, but certainly not the worst one I’ve ever done. Again this area of the park had a strange Arabian theme going on, a reminder of the park’s Six Flags days. Hopefully the park will get to a stage where all of the park is themed to WAB.



We ventured ahead into the Palace of the Genie which was unsurprisingly a Madhouse. It made no sense at all as to what was going on, which is always a problem with Madhouses and their stories, more often than not they are too wordy to get across to us ignorant English people. However the alternative effects inside were decent and quite subtle in a way to finish the story. We’re still spoilt by Hex though.

It was then time for the Music Battle Show, which was new for this year. There was a lot of pre-show pissing about due to some technical issues but eventually the show did start and it was pretty awesome. With awesome projection mapping and standard stunt show stunts before a decent finale. It was certainly worth watching and makes me wish we could have such things.



Nic is SUCH a goon


We broke for lunch at an Italian place, which was ok, before heading off to the Zombie Bar which was literally located on the park’s lake, to which you had to cross a bridge to access it. There we met Jeroen, another enthusiast who works quite high up on the park. We had our free drink and nattered for some time, being interacted with the Zombies as well for a good while. A very entertaining and unique idea, and probably the best part of our day, especially when one zombie led us on a conga line off the island.







The mazes had opened and John, Kristof and Jeroen went onto their first, Project Z, which included a disclaimer and going around alone. After their go through, the report was that John got locked in a cage for several minutes, and there was lots of touching and weird things going on. It even ended in a waist high foam party for some reason.
The vote for next things were for creds, so we went to the last two of the park, firstly, a SLC. Vampire wasn’t very good, and had some minimal theming. Others enjoyed it but I found it to be burdenous and juddery. Next door though the Wooden coaster Loup-Garou (or is it Weerwolf?) was much better, even with the set-square corners it had an abundance of airtime and generally I found it to be quite a fun ride.




We wandered over to the Zombie River, which normally is a Jungle Cruise style affair, but for Halloween it has actors (3 of them) around to ‘scare’ you. It didn’t have a high scare rating and for good reason, it wasn’t very good. A lot of milling around doing not a lot where 1 actor sat there doing nothing, whilst the other 2 were a simple diversion and scare tactic. They are limited due to the nature of the ride, but they could’ve done better I’m sure.


The scare maze doers did Insomnia, which was located on the Dodgems and had a tonne of actors inside, and it was rated as pretty good. We caught the magic show a second time because of being told of another show which unfortunately didn’t exist. We decided that we should head back towards Psyke and thus got the epically themed train over there.





Off the train we suggested John and Kristof do the Virus Z1 outdoor maze, which they did, before we rode Psyke again closer to the back and received an even more forceful ride. Horray!
We headed back towards the entrance via Villa 13 (which had way too many people going through at once to be effective), did some shopping with our discounts before settling down to watch the fireworks show.


It was pretty cool; it had fire, explosions and lasers. What’s not to love? Standard fare really although it had be toned down from last year as they shut the mazes and brought the actors out for it. Made sense to not do that this year. At the point we bid Kristof a farewell as he needed to go home.
After that we rode Loup-Garou again in the dark since it was the only other coaster we wanted to re-ride, before me and John headed towards Madhouse 3D but it was shut because of security reasons. On the way out we decided to ride the Breakdance, which we got 2 goes on because the ride op was being lazy and wanted to close his queue early by 5 minutes. Fine by us, because it was on a really epic cycle.


I didn’t take any photos of the Breakdance, so have the epically lit Wave Swinger instead…
And that was it. My thoughts on Walibi are that it is a park with great potential, but limited due to neighbours, hence all the issues with Psyke. They have a decent line up of rides if rather mediocre in a way, and a very unique theme and brand which they are pushing into the parks they own. I had a very enjoyable day at the park and it seemed to have very good intentions towards the future, and I hope that it succeeds.
The Halloween event was good as well, with a fair amount of park theming and LOTS of actors roaming about most of the areas. I mean LOTS. More than our parks have in total numbers. It certainly was the most Halloweeny event I’ve been too this year, and they deserve plaudits for that. Well done.

So after a month of going to all the Merlin Halloween events the ‘last’ weekend of the month needed to be something different. As such, discussions were had and plans put in place for a quick jaunt over the Channel on a Friday afternoon to enjoy a weekend of Belgian creds and scary things.
The Saturday was at Walibi, which has had an interesting life it must be said, and recently rebranded itself to a rather different park theme of a music band.



They also hold one of Belgium’s premier Halloween events, including a character who has a 5 year history as part of the event, roams the park hurling abuse at people and is on Facebook. The event is so popular that the two days prior to our visit the park had to close early due to capacity reasons. Fortunately, as John had been talking to local enthusiasts, we had purchased the R.I.P (in peace) passes.

These were €35 (or €25 on other days depending on opening hours) and got you Fastrack on 5 rides of your choosing, all the scare mazes, a visit to the Zombie Bar, priority seating area for Fireworks and 10% off in shops. Limited to 500 a day, this certainly screamed value for money, especially when there are 2 hour queues involved.
The park opened at 10 to begin the 11 hour day, and we headed right to the opposite end of the park to the most famous ride in Belgium…
Psyke Underground
It’s a Schwarzkopf Shuttle Loop! Yaaaay! This has had a chequered history as well, including stalls, being put semi-indoors, noise complaints, closure, etc. But this year the park enclosed the entire thing and added a bit of theming to make it fit the ‘music park’ theme. They also turned the launch into LSMs, which made me happy.
The queue was non-existent, so we were straight on and ready to go. A small pre-show occurs (although little context is provided to what’s going on) and we’re slowly set off on our way to a countdown.
The launch then kicks in.
Chalk another win up for rolling LSM launches above the other types, as you are propelled into the darkness and through the classically intense loop before heading up the first spike and then repeat the loop backwards, dash through the station with strobes going off and slightly up the backwards spike before returning back into the station.
It’s simple, effective; it’s rather good in fact. I do hope that the park’s plans to continue improving the experience (the outdoor portion of the queue is dull, and could be turned into a disco scene, more lights and a requirement to play the rather epic soundtrack are also required) come to fruition, because it really is the best coaster on the park.
7/10



We rode it a second time in the front (because the ride experience really differs on your row), before heading off in search of other rides. Firstly, we hit up the Zierer Tivoli for 3 laps of +1, whilst next door was a dark ride I was quite interested in experiencing.
Challenge of Tutankhamon
A Sally trackless dark ride with multiple (3) possible endings and lots of awesome effects? Where do I sign up?
This in the end was quite cool, and we managed to get the super-secret bonus ending first time around. Horray for us! There was however no fire which was disappointing. However most of the animatronics and other effects were very good. Be interesting to see what they do with this considering how it doesn’t fit in at all to the new branding.
We next headed into the Wild West area, where Calamity Mine awaited, a Vekoma Mine Train of the standard two lift hill clone type. It was alright I guess; nothing really special to write home about. With the rumours surrounding the Western area in general however the ride could look damn awesome next year.


Continuing our walk back to the park entrance we went into the 4D Cinema in French as we thought we might understand it better.
We didn’t, but it was quite a decent show unique to the park’s brand. Decent level of effects without resorting to the burdenous leg ticklers either. Good.
We then met up with Kristof, local Walibi enthusiast extraordinaire before deciding to go on Cobra, which he quickly backed out of. It is a Vekoma Boomerang after all, but certainly not the worst one I’ve ever done. Again this area of the park had a strange Arabian theme going on, a reminder of the park’s Six Flags days. Hopefully the park will get to a stage where all of the park is themed to WAB.



We ventured ahead into the Palace of the Genie which was unsurprisingly a Madhouse. It made no sense at all as to what was going on, which is always a problem with Madhouses and their stories, more often than not they are too wordy to get across to us ignorant English people. However the alternative effects inside were decent and quite subtle in a way to finish the story. We’re still spoilt by Hex though.

It was then time for the Music Battle Show, which was new for this year. There was a lot of pre-show pissing about due to some technical issues but eventually the show did start and it was pretty awesome. With awesome projection mapping and standard stunt show stunts before a decent finale. It was certainly worth watching and makes me wish we could have such things.



Nic is SUCH a goon


We broke for lunch at an Italian place, which was ok, before heading off to the Zombie Bar which was literally located on the park’s lake, to which you had to cross a bridge to access it. There we met Jeroen, another enthusiast who works quite high up on the park. We had our free drink and nattered for some time, being interacted with the Zombies as well for a good while. A very entertaining and unique idea, and probably the best part of our day, especially when one zombie led us on a conga line off the island.







The mazes had opened and John, Kristof and Jeroen went onto their first, Project Z, which included a disclaimer and going around alone. After their go through, the report was that John got locked in a cage for several minutes, and there was lots of touching and weird things going on. It even ended in a waist high foam party for some reason.
The vote for next things were for creds, so we went to the last two of the park, firstly, a SLC. Vampire wasn’t very good, and had some minimal theming. Others enjoyed it but I found it to be burdenous and juddery. Next door though the Wooden coaster Loup-Garou (or is it Weerwolf?) was much better, even with the set-square corners it had an abundance of airtime and generally I found it to be quite a fun ride.




We wandered over to the Zombie River, which normally is a Jungle Cruise style affair, but for Halloween it has actors (3 of them) around to ‘scare’ you. It didn’t have a high scare rating and for good reason, it wasn’t very good. A lot of milling around doing not a lot where 1 actor sat there doing nothing, whilst the other 2 were a simple diversion and scare tactic. They are limited due to the nature of the ride, but they could’ve done better I’m sure.


The scare maze doers did Insomnia, which was located on the Dodgems and had a tonne of actors inside, and it was rated as pretty good. We caught the magic show a second time because of being told of another show which unfortunately didn’t exist. We decided that we should head back towards Psyke and thus got the epically themed train over there.





Off the train we suggested John and Kristof do the Virus Z1 outdoor maze, which they did, before we rode Psyke again closer to the back and received an even more forceful ride. Horray!
We headed back towards the entrance via Villa 13 (which had way too many people going through at once to be effective), did some shopping with our discounts before settling down to watch the fireworks show.


It was pretty cool; it had fire, explosions and lasers. What’s not to love? Standard fare really although it had be toned down from last year as they shut the mazes and brought the actors out for it. Made sense to not do that this year. At the point we bid Kristof a farewell as he needed to go home.
After that we rode Loup-Garou again in the dark since it was the only other coaster we wanted to re-ride, before me and John headed towards Madhouse 3D but it was shut because of security reasons. On the way out we decided to ride the Breakdance, which we got 2 goes on because the ride op was being lazy and wanted to close his queue early by 5 minutes. Fine by us, because it was on a really epic cycle.


I didn’t take any photos of the Breakdance, so have the epically lit Wave Swinger instead…
And that was it. My thoughts on Walibi are that it is a park with great potential, but limited due to neighbours, hence all the issues with Psyke. They have a decent line up of rides if rather mediocre in a way, and a very unique theme and brand which they are pushing into the parks they own. I had a very enjoyable day at the park and it seemed to have very good intentions towards the future, and I hope that it succeeds.
The Halloween event was good as well, with a fair amount of park theming and LOTS of actors roaming about most of the areas. I mean LOTS. More than our parks have in total numbers. It certainly was the most Halloweeny event I’ve been too this year, and they deserve plaudits for that. Well done.

Day 3
And lo, the final day approached as we groggily awoke for one last B&M whorage session. However there was some unfinished business to attend to first, so we checked out the hotel, dumped off our bags and headed in to Baco once more.




It was announcing technical difficulties…
This turned out to be the addition of the second train however, so we waited it out and before long we were winging our way out of the station on the front row. The pre-show began, the brake fins dropped, the tension built...
We didn’t move…
Baco seemed keen to not be out-done by its B&M brethren who had both suffered breakdowns prior to today, so decided enough was enough or that it was too early to be working (to which me and Mark agreed) after a late night.



#BacoFace
We were rolled back into the station before being told to get out and wait by the exit. After some time, we left, not being arsed to hang around a broken Intamin when there were B&Ms to ride.



And so the whoring session began, with 3 goes each on Khan and Shambhala; jumping between the two in the process and enjoying every moment of them.





We then decided to head back towards Baco because I didn’t want it to be the last ride of the trip and leave a bad experience in my head, so we headed around the park via El Diablo, some ice-cream and some more Halloween characters for one last attempt at Baco.



Back on the front and it miraculously worked this time, though how good a miracle it was not really agreed upon. Many say it’s better in the front/inside seats, it is really, but does that stop it from being several seconds of pain, bounce and wondering why we wanted to give it a second chance (clearly, our trip to Bakken taught us very little)? The answer is a resounding no, and we longed for the apparent roughness of Khan once more.

Post Baco Red Ear

A quick train ride later, and that’s exactly where we were. Though Shambhala took more precedence this time as it was much easier to re-ride compared to Khan, but that’s down to the heavy load of g-force more than anything wrong with the ride. So after 4 more goes on Shambhala (bringing the total rides of it to 20) it was back on the train to the entrance and time to venture back out into the real world of delayed flights and rubbish European airports.





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So the final thoughts… The park is very good really, though lacking in dark rides is the main issue here, as it mostly has a decent assortment of flat rides spread (thinly) around the park. Hopefully the 2014 is a nice big indoor attraction of SOME kind, regardless of what it ACTUALLY is (aside from a splash battle, but I’m not too sure if it is one).
Out of the big 4 coasters, 2 are fantastic, 2 are rough as hell, with El Diablo, Tomahawk and Tami-Tami decent supporting cast to them. The shows are excellent across the board even with the language barrier existing as they are pretty generic in theme/story, but all those involved in the shows were entertaining and deserve plaudits. This especially rings true to those walking characters, who when they could on the quieter Friday put in a hell load of effort into their interactions, whilst the Halloween ones put in just as much.
The Express Pass however, was an absolute god-send to us, especially considering the situation of queuing in Spain. And it allowed us to take our time around the park instead of just standing in stuffy cattlepens being walked past. The interesting thing is that despite the cheapness of the unlimited and the one-shots, there were no queues for Express to the degree we see on busy days in the UK parks; perhaps they really limit the numbers over there due to the hotels? Or is it just that the country is broke?
Regardless, an excellent weekend away, and a rather excellent park really. Good theming, good shows, (some) good rides. Good job Port Aventura.

An Express visit to Port Aventura
Day 1
They always say you should keep an eye out for good deals in life, theme parks being no exception, so when Port Aventura had an offer for 50% hotel stays I leapt at the chance to revisit the park, namely for Shambhala.
A VERY early Friday morning was the backdrop to our journey via Gatwick and Barcelona, and after eventually finding the coach to the hotel, we arrived at the park armed with quite possibly the best value for money unlimited Express Passes ever (€54 for all 3 days and front row on Shambhala, Khan and Baco).


My legion of Spiiiiiiidersssss

Our first port of call was to be the legendary Furius Baco. Much tension was too be had as a result of the various tales of the majority berating the ride and it’s experience with the odd few decreeing it as a fantastic unique experience.
Unsurprisingly, I was in the former camp…
It’s a terrible, terrible ride, we nearly rode it in the back until the ride staff member moved us to the 5th odd row, and I was forced onto the outside seat by Mark. The launch is perfectly fine, but as soon as that’s done the ride shakes and rattles along the track, every flaw amplified due to the vibration affect that occurs due to the nature of the seating.
From an engineering standpoint, it’s so clear why the ride is as bad as it is, and why B&M decided to put riders in-line with the track to ensure that the vibration effect on the train is minimalised. Being on the same axis of rotation is the name of the game, and Baco fails completely. It has two pros, it looks nice and it doesn’t last for very long, that’s it.
1/10



Mark was not looking forward to riding this again, ignorance is bliss as they say…

We decided to go as far away from Baco as possible and go on some good rides, so it was over to China and Shambhala. The design of which is very interesting, as whilst it dominates the area and Dragon Khan, it also complements the area as well, perhaps because a nicely painted and bright Khan still stands out amongst the white track.
Straight on we went even with the 1 train operation (note, Baco had 2 trains and a longer queue than the 1 train B&Ms) and into the bright sunshine we went, catching a look at the construction site next door, but before long we were cresting the drop.
To say the resulting ride is brilliant would be quite accurate, although there seemed to be some harsh discussion regarding its place in the Mitch Hawker top 10 last year, I feel that it is justly deserved.
Like all B&M Hypers, Shambhala thrives on the floaty airtime that fills every hill; however, a few things really stand out for me against the rest of them. First, the Ampersand turn is a fantastic way of doing things rather than a bland overbank, the mini hill after this with its ejector is also brilliant, the splash is a cool element to look at for the off-riders and produces on occasion a nice cooling effect to riders, the hills after which are excellent due to the way it which they vary the drop height to give some difference to the experience.
9/10





From modern B&M to classic B&M now, as Dragon Khan was next on our list. 9 years ago I remember it being a fantastic ride, and to see if it was still as such we were straight into the back row.
Since my visit I have seen a lot of people stating that Khan is rough (to degrees of things like Baco and Goudrix), but I cannot really see the issue. It has rattle yes (it’s 18 years old, rides age, that simple) but these incidents are during the high speed, high G sections so are relatively infrequent. Especially after riding Baco, Khan would easily be considered as smooth.
Either way, it’s interesting to see how B&M have evolved between Khan and Shambhala, with Khan having a fair few snappy transitions (the Zero-G and MCBR drop especially) but also a few ‘glidey’ sections through it.
Khan was still excellent though, loved it, and I don’t understand where this sudden rattly hate has appeared from. If Khan gets detracted for it, then so should things like Nemesis.
8/10



Big rides done, we went over to find Tami-Tami as Mark had missed out on his last visit to the park. So off we went back into the Sesame Street area to find that the show had just finished and characters were out. So photos happened…




After a drink and chill we eventually joined the non-existent queue and quite enjoyed our ride. It’s only a Vekoma Junior sure, but the dense foliage around it really improved the ride somewhat, especially the final helix.
Walking back through China we snuck it another go on Shambhala and Khan before El Diablo, where my last ride on it was backwards (rotating cars before it was cool was Port Aventura) and the derided-ness of this ride and it’s lift hills is well known. Indeed, we gained a soft spot for it actually, as you can see what they were trying to do with it, they just used Arrow because cheap times. Maybe if they’d actually had some track after the second lift that went right instead of left there would be more fans of it? Who knows…


Next up was another ride new since my last visit, Hurakan Condor, which fortunately had a short enough queue to warrant us bothering. It was ok like most Intamin free-falls, but I’m not a real fan of the excessively tall ones because they do get boring after a while. Though the 4 seater one is considerably better than the Gyro variants.


Next door was the new for this year mirror maze Secret of the Mayans, where you are given medical gloves before you enter to prevent smearing the glass, which is weird. Inside it’s actually a very long experience, with a random bit in the middle with some effects. It was alright and good for getting out of the heat for a bit.
Back outside, we stumbled across Bert and Ernie, so naturally, photos ensued due to Bert being a depressing muppet.

Bert’s either high or misses his sandwich…


Onwards we walked to the Wild West area, and a queue for Tomahawk, which has a silly throughput/lack of ability to sit two adults together. But it’s still a surprisingly decent and long ride for a kiddie coaster, with the duelling aspect a novel idea.
It was nearly time for the Bird Show, so we walked past Sheriff Woody and the long, LONG way to the show (burdenous park layout), and it was rather entertaining in the end, with lots of banter from the host who didn’t stop talking for the whole thing; a basic bird show really but still decent.



Up next was the Wild West Stunt Show with a Halloween overlay. This had fantastic pre-show entertainment, with a scarecrow jumping at entering guests and the excessively camp man in his D&G denim jacket of JOY. Again, pretty basic as shows go, but it was a good laugh.


<3

What was next wasn’t much of a laugh, as Stampida since my last visit had new Kumbak trains added, and after Bakken’s Rusty Banana being god-awful, I had a fair amount of fear about it.
I was right, the ride rattles through the course badly, a shame because I think it’s a rather well designed ride (particularly where you lose the other train briefly before it’s charging at you), ruined by an awful company who somehow are allowed to do this.
Poor show.
3/10


We headed back to China to have some last quick goes on the B&Ms before heading back to the hotel for dinner (which was a very nice buffet). We then sat in the plaza drinking and watching the very good hotel entertainment, with a stand-out moment when a birthday girl was given a cake by Winnie Woodpecker. Our parks would do to realise that such moments will stay with younger visitors for a long time.
We were impressed with our first day on the park, but the first day of their Halloween event was next, and the hours of 10am-11pm were very exciting indeed…

Day 2 – Bellewaerde Park
Time for coasters! And with a brand new one it was time to head along to Belle, via several country roads and an awful diversion, we eventually arrived at the destination (N.B. There is an easier route to take to get to the park we discovered on our way back, blergh)…



Formerly a safari park, this place certainly shares similarities with both Chessington and Flamingoland, but let’s not set our hopes too low, and go and ride the first coaster of the day (in order to avoid long queues later), Ladybird a Large Zierer Tivoli…
Bugger. Well, these coasters are actually quite fun at times; although how it fitted into the Western theme area I have no idea. Though this thing was basically bread and butter to the usual types of this ride, so it’s unremarkable.



Next up, Boomerang. It’s like the park WANTS us to hate it, but either way, this is a well themed one so at least it looked nice to ride. After Nicky’s apprehension of her first Boomerang, we were on and were surprised to find it smooth, barring the odd jerk during the backwards section of course, it wasn’t perfect. But comparatively, it was like riding a B&M. Amazing scenes!





The final coaster was the brand new Huracan, an indoor Zierer coaster with random outside bit and epic dark ride section. Most reports heard before were of high praise regarding the level of theme this ride has, and this is most certainly true of the queue, station and pre-lift section. It’s pretty damn awesome, if the queue is quite bland and rather boring. Onto the ride itself and with no explanation you’re set off through various rooms with random theming in each, with music booming out of the speaker, pretty cool so far. After the wind room we’re off into the daylight (and random pointless red strobe) up the lift into the pre-darkness section. I do like the way the music fades out at this point and returns upon entry into the building, and speaking of such, the ride section is decent, but completely lacking in anything. I do like the daylight peeking it allowing you glimpses of the track, but there’s just nothing else. Even cheap cut-outs a la Revenge of the Mummy would improve things. Although with a minimum height of 1m, they put their hat on that market and went with it. The brake run laser show is quite cool, but I can only imagine what if they had decided to put in a freefall section on this to finish it instead? Then the turn back into the station to finish instead of stopping and waiting for the train in front to depart?
Good family coaster mind, with some decent dark ride element to it, but it had a lot more potential that could have been realised.
7/10






Coasters done, it was time for other things, so we polished up the Aztec area with El Volador, a Topple Tower which ran a lot faster than Djurs’, and El Toro a Huss Breakdance of JOY. After which we broke for lunch.








As the weather was awesome (where has Summer gone now?) we elected for the Log Flume, which had a massive ONE drop, and two lift hills… Lol wut? It was rather refreshing though to be fair, but that to me made no sense whatsoever.


It was then time to meander around the zoo part, or at least part of it, as it was still reasonably spread out. But regardless we saw Giraffes, Elephants, Zebras and Lemurs for the exotic stuff, whilst goats were the more typical animal nearby.












A wild Madhouse, Houdini appeared, which was promptly ruined by loud teenagers. But had an amusing clip which was as good as SMUGHEX. Further into the park we delved and found the potentially unique Bengal Express, which makes the idea of Zufari look turd, why? Because you’re in a train going right through the Lion and Tiger enclosure that’s why! Ok it’s well protected and everything, but still… Was awesome.











Next up were the Bengal Rapids, my very first Wedge rapids style ride, where rather than one complete boat they’ve cut it up and had essentially 3/4 (depending on where you go) sections that can and do act separately from each other. This also means that you can be attacked from any direction which balances out the general lack of being able to have too many large drops (which was disproven by Bagatelle). Was quite good fun though really in the end.



We dried off with an ice cream before doing the Squirrel Monkey island and then continuing around to the Huss Drop Tower Screaming Eagle, which was a good bit of fun as well. Next up was the Jungle Mission boat ride, after our experiences of such in Denmark, we dreaded to think what would be next, but we found an excessively random ride mixed into some animal enclosures (including Capybara, YAY), worth a go.










At that point we felt like we had done as much of the park that we wanted, so we rode Boomerang and Huracan again, before heading to the shop and home. Overall I would say Bellewaerde is a good park with a lot of potential ahead. The theming it has is very well done but is rather sparse overall. They also (in my opinion) need a real stand-out ride to really reach out to a larger audience of people, with a hint of uniqueness. Probably why I think Huracan would have benefitted from the freefall drop but on the other hand it would have meant missing out on that 1m limit.
I really liked the park, and whilst the zoo portion of it is tiny these days, they have some excellent viewing areas which make it rather similar to Flamingoland, only without the awfulness of being it. I hope they expand continually in the future because there is a great potential in there.

Day 3 – Parc Bagatelle
A very early morning led to the 2 hour drive across half of two separate countries towards the seaside of France towards Bagatelle. This is rather a small park, but recently nabbed a Vekoma Invertigo last year, and was once infamous for having a scary as hell Lion show which is now gone.

We arrived at the park to be greeted by a long queue, as out of the 4 cashier desks they had 1 open. And the queue barely moved due to large groups and numerous vouchers. This annoyed me greatly, and resulted in a 30 minute wait to even enter the park, with 20 of those on 1 cashier. Not the greatest start to the day.
This was then compounded by Bag Express, known for its dive into a water channel, which was empty. With the gimmick gone, this Soquet coaster was utter crap, with a helix of WHY being a small highlight in an otherwise death coaster.




Could things get better? Le Triops stood proudly in its orange paint, waiting for the moment to become my 300th coaster (yay). Having ridden at least 1 of these before and many other Boomerangs, I was of course thinking how crap it was going to be, regardless of Bellewaerde’s decent one the day before. Fortunately, it was similar to Bellewaerde’s in regards to smoothness, with small jolts that didn’t affect the ride too badly. We later did it again backwards first (cos Vekoma) and found that just as good. Worthy of being a landmark coaster? Best I could do at the time








Onwards we went into the park before passing Aqua Bag, which was basically Bumper Boats with water pistols attached. It was amaze <3 They’re expanding it to hold more than 5/6 boats as well, which will mean in the future it will be especially mental. Les Rapids were next, another wedge boat style one with one of the most mental things I’ve ever experienced on a rapids. It has a whirlpool section akin to River Quest at Phantasialand, only faster, spinnier and the drop itself results in 5 seconds of pure confusion, fear and amazingness in one fell swoop. Aside from that the layout was pretty non-descript, but having anything more would really take the overall impact of the whirlpool section away.








Further meandering led us back to the front of the park and the Zamperla Spinning Mouse, which had barely any queue, so it was ridden and was exactly the same as the one at Farup. To finish off the coaster list was Spirals des Dunes a baby Soquet coaster which was weird as hell to be quite honest. Lunch followed before we had a quick go on the Porn Ponies.







The Sea-Lion/Penguin show that replaced the Lions was about to start so we watched it. Was ok, if very basic, but yay Penguins! And gigantic Sea-Lions which struggle to move! A quick go on the Vintage Cars as they were opposite the show revealed nothing special beyond lots of trees and a bridge or two. The 4D show of random Mad Racers came next, with similarities to the Simpsons ride abound due to the giant screen in front of two pods. It made absolutely no sense at all.






Nicky had a go on the Eccentric Bikes before we had another go on Triops. At this point we wondered what to do next, and concluded that we’d get a snack before heading back to Calais for the journey home. So we had a waffle, got the park train back to the entrance, before having a quick go on the Pedal Karts which went past the lions before we left.





That’s it really. Not much else to say for the park, it wasn’t very good overall, with two good rides out of the generic crap of it all. It even has TWO log flumes! I would say the start of the day didn’t help my mood about the park, but even so, it’s not a very good park, and they have a lot of work to do even with the recent rebrand of everything. More quality, less Soquet crap please!

We made it back to CitiEurope in one piece to find it completely shut bar the restaurants. This is silly of you France, as that place attracts so many Brits on their way back from a weekend away. At least open Carrefour up! Then we discovered a train delay which made the Calais terminal HIDEOUS. Although only delayed an hour, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.
With that, this report closes. I would recommend Bellewaerde but Bagatelle is bad, bad, so very bad.
I’ll be back to bore you all after New York!

Day 3 – Parc Bagatelle
A very early morning led to the 2 hour drive across half of two separate countries towards the seaside of France towards Bagatelle. This is rather a small park, but recently nabbed a Vekoma Invertigo last year, and was once infamous for having a scary as hell Lion show which is now gone.

We arrived at the park to be greeted by a long queue, as out of the 4 cashier desks they had 1 open. And the queue barely moved due to large groups and numerous vouchers. This annoyed me greatly, and resulted in a 30 minute wait to even enter the park, with 20 of those on 1 cashier. Not the greatest start to the day.
This was then compounded by Bag Express, known for its dive into a water channel, which was empty. With the gimmick gone, this Soquet coaster was utter crap, with a helix of WHY being a small highlight in an otherwise death coaster.




Could things get better? Le Triops stood proudly in its orange paint, waiting for the moment to become my 300th coaster (yay). Having ridden at least 1 of these before and many other Boomerangs, I was of course thinking how crap it was going to be, regardless of Bellewaerde’s decent one the day before. Fortunately, it was similar to Bellewaerde’s in regards to smoothness, with small jolts that didn’t affect the ride too badly. We later did it again backwards first (cos Vekoma) and found that just as good. Worthy of being a landmark coaster? Best I could do at the time








Onwards we went into the park before passing Aqua Bag, which was basically Bumper Boats with water pistols attached. It was amaze <3 They’re expanding it to hold more than 5/6 boats as well, which will mean in the future it will be especially mental. Les Rapids were next, another wedge boat style one with one of the most mental things I’ve ever experienced on a rapids. It has a whirlpool section akin to River Quest at Phantasialand, only faster, spinnier and the drop itself results in 5 seconds of pure confusion, fear and amazingness in one fell swoop. Aside from that the layout was pretty non-descript, but having anything more would really take the overall impact of the whirlpool section away.








Further meandering led us back to the front of the park and the Zamperla Spinning Mouse, which had barely any queue, so it was ridden and was exactly the same as the one at Farup. To finish off the coaster list was Spirals des Dunes a baby Soquet coaster which was weird as hell to be quite honest. Lunch followed before we had a quick go on the Porn Ponies.







The Sea-Lion/Penguin show that replaced the Lions was about to start so we watched it. Was ok, if very basic, but yay Penguins! And gigantic Sea-Lions which struggle to move! A quick go on the Vintage Cars as they were opposite the show revealed nothing special beyond lots of trees and a bridge or two. The 4D show of random Mad Racers came next, with similarities to the Simpsons ride abound due to the giant screen in front of two pods. It made absolutely no sense at all.






Nicky had a go on the Eccentric Bikes before we had another go on Triops. At this point we wondered what to do next, and concluded that we’d get a snack before heading back to Calais for the journey home. So we had a waffle, got the park train back to the entrance, before having a quick go on the Pedal Karts which went past the lions before we left.





That’s it really. Not much else to say for the park, it wasn’t very good overall, with two good rides out of the generic crap of it all. It even has TWO log flumes! I would say the start of the day didn’t help my mood about the park, but even so, it’s not a very good park, and they have a lot of work to do even with the recent rebrand of everything. More quality, less Soquet crap please!

We made it back to CitiEurope in one piece to find it completely shut bar the restaurants. This is silly of you France, as that place attracts so many Brits on their way back from a weekend away. At least open Carrefour up! Then we discovered a train delay which made the Calais terminal HIDEOUS. Although only delayed an hour, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.
With that, this report closes. I would recommend Bellewaerde but Bagatelle is bad, bad, so very bad.
I’ll be back to bore you all after New York!

Day 2 – Bellewaerde Park
Time for coasters! And with a brand new one it was time to head along to Belle, via several country roads and an awful diversion, we eventually arrived at the destination (N.B. There is an easier route to take to get to the park we discovered on our way back, blergh)…



Formerly a safari park, this place certainly shares similarities with both Chessington and Flamingoland, but let’s not set our hopes too low, and go and ride the first coaster of the day (in order to avoid long queues later), Ladybird a Large Zierer Tivoli…
Bugger. Well, these coasters are actually quite fun at times; although how it fitted into the Western theme area I have no idea. Though this thing was basically bread and butter to the usual types of this ride, so it’s unremarkable.



Next up, Boomerang. It’s like the park WANTS us to hate it, but either way, this is a well themed one so at least it looked nice to ride. After Nicky’s apprehension of her first Boomerang, we were on and were surprised to find it smooth, barring the odd jerk during the backwards section of course, it wasn’t perfect. But comparatively, it was like riding a B&M. Amazing scenes!





The final coaster was the brand new Huracan, an indoor Zierer coaster with random outside bit and epic dark ride section. Most reports heard before were of high praise regarding the level of theme this ride has, and this is most certainly true of the queue, station and pre-lift section. It’s pretty damn awesome, if the queue is quite bland and rather boring. Onto the ride itself and with no explanation you’re set off through various rooms with random theming in each, with music booming out of the speaker, pretty cool so far. After the wind room we’re off into the daylight (and random pointless red strobe) up the lift into the pre-darkness section. I do like the way the music fades out at this point and returns upon entry into the building, and speaking of such, the ride section is decent, but completely lacking in anything. I do like the daylight peeking it allowing you glimpses of the track, but there’s just nothing else. Even cheap cut-outs a la Revenge of the Mummy would improve things. Although with a minimum height of 1m, they put their hat on that market and went with it. The brake run laser show is quite cool, but I can only imagine what if they had decided to put in a freefall section on this to finish it instead? Then the turn back into the station to finish instead of stopping and waiting for the train in front to depart?
Good family coaster mind, with some decent dark ride element to it, but it had a lot more potential that could have been realised.
7/10






Coasters done, it was time for other things, so we polished up the Aztec area with El Volador, a Topple Tower which ran a lot faster than Djurs’, and El Toro a Huss Breakdance of JOY. After which we broke for lunch.








As the weather was awesome (where has Summer gone now?) we elected for the Log Flume, which had a massive ONE drop, and two lift hills… Lol wut? It was rather refreshing though to be fair, but that to me made no sense whatsoever.


It was then time to meander around the zoo part, or at least part of it, as it was still reasonably spread out. But regardless we saw Giraffes, Elephants, Zebras and Lemurs for the exotic stuff, whilst goats were the more typical animal nearby.












A wild Madhouse, Houdini appeared, which was promptly ruined by loud teenagers. But had an amusing clip which was as good as SMUGHEX. Further into the park we delved and found the potentially unique Bengal Express, which makes the idea of Zufari look turd, why? Because you’re in a train going right through the Lion and Tiger enclosure that’s why! Ok it’s well protected and everything, but still… Was awesome.











Next up were the Bengal Rapids, my very first Wedge rapids style ride, where rather than one complete boat they’ve cut it up and had essentially 3/4 (depending on where you go) sections that can and do act separately from each other. This also means that you can be attacked from any direction which balances out the general lack of being able to have too many large drops (which was disproven by Bagatelle). Was quite good fun though really in the end.



We dried off with an ice cream before doing the Squirrel Monkey island and then continuing around to the Huss Drop Tower Screaming Eagle, which was a good bit of fun as well. Next up was the Jungle Mission boat ride, after our experiences of such in Denmark, we dreaded to think what would be next, but we found an excessively random ride mixed into some animal enclosures (including Capybara, YAY), worth a go.










At that point we felt like we had done as much of the park that we wanted, so we rode Boomerang and Huracan again, before heading to the shop and home. Overall I would say Bellewaerde is a good park with a lot of potential ahead. The theming it has is very well done but is rather sparse overall. They also (in my opinion) need a real stand-out ride to really reach out to a larger audience of people, with a hint of uniqueness. Probably why I think Huracan would have benefitted from the freefall drop but on the other hand it would have meant missing out on that 1m limit.
I really liked the park, and whilst the zoo portion of it is tiny these days, they have some excellent viewing areas which make it rather similar to Flamingoland, only without the awfulness of being it. I hope they expand continually in the future because there is a great potential in there.

Tornado at Bakken is one of the worst rollercoasters I have ever had the misfortune of riding. It is so atrociously bad that it made me wonder what 25 things are better then it. Here is what I came up with and I hope you enjoy reading.
1. Being kicked in the testicles
2. Going to the Dentist
3. Riding Furius Baco none stop for an hour
4. Crashing your car into a wall
5. Being mugged
6. Having to endure a queueline at PortAventura
7. Driving in Italy
8. Being sick after a heavy night out drinking
9. Getting the Victoria line during rush hour
10. Sitting next to someone with body odour on a packed out London bus
11. Watching Holby City
12. Enduring homophobic abuse
13. Going all the way to Towers and finding out the Smiler is closed
14. Reading Theme Park Review
15. Being insulted by Robb Alvey
16. Shopping at Asda
17. Shopping at Primark
18. Eating Brocolli
19. Eating Brussel Sprouts
20. Flying with Ryanair
21. Being stuck in a lift with someone who has just farted
22. Queuing for Colossus on one train operation
23. Living next to very loud neighbours
24. Riding Saw. At all.
25. Visiting Chessington during the 2013 season