coaster_monkey

...but I don't go to football matches? =P I'm not completely sold, what happens if a family take a spontaneous trip to Thorpe Park during the summer? Yes, culture today has changed a lot and people DO look around for the best deals and perhaps plans ahead, but there are a lot of families/couples/groups that don't - tourists are a good example also. I genuinely think that Merlin have invested into the three main parks purely for profit only. Sure, what good business doesn't? But I really get the feeling that no matter what - Merlin will ALWAYS go for the cheapest option, will not push the boat out and, quite frankly, do not care for the sense of adventure a theme park should give you. These containers are a great example of a park sticking two fingers up at the customer. I want to be wrong, I want to believe that Merlin are testing the waters, starting small and building up... but they aren't. It won't get better just more or less the same. I want Thorpe Park to become a theme park and not a 'day out'. So much more can be done. Yes, the feedback on this site many of you think tha last years Crash Pad was decent. But why are we settling for less?

I would expect more from a park that charges £40+ a ticket. Regardless of BOGOF and cheaper online tickets, which can give a great discount, if a park thinks it's worth £40 on the day then facilities should be of the highest spec. Merlin have cut corners in order for profit to roll into pockets and not investment.

Please be April fools, please be April fools, please be April fools, please be April fools, please be April fools, =((

Woooooow, don't I feel dumb now. Sorry, okay. Point is well. And. Truly. Clear! Sorry. =) But, (there's always one), how did we feel about Angry Birds? We weren't exactly blown away, I guess the public won't be either. I suppose the investment was purely to spruce up some rides at a reduced price using a brand to pay for most of it. Angry Birds alone won't bring in people, but advertising Thorpe Park in a different light may do so. (yeah, sorry guys for taking part in dragging this out. I'll shut up now)

No, you have made your point clear. I'm not being an arse for the sake of it, I just think - thrill rides can be family friendly. And it looks like Thorpe Park think that also, there are some families that are quite daring and children that are genuine thrill seekers. Again, I DO see your point, but I genuinely think that thrill rides can appeal to ALL if marketed correctly. =)

...are you not classed as a family once the children are over 14? Y'know, just because the word family is used doesn't necessarily mean push chairs and nappies.

TL;DR - It was okay. Could do better. Why am I walking through corridors? First Merlin attraction of the year, London Dungeons. The last time I visited the London Dungeons it was based at London Bridge, located under a railway arch. The location was great, however, caused unnecessary pedestrian traffic, this is due to London still being set in the 1600's and having very narrow streets. You'd think after being flattened 80 years ago London would be redesigned for the 20th Century, but no.... we built it brick by brick back to how it was =/ . That's progress for ya'! So, back to the past, when I visited the dungeons a few years back I was left underwhelmed. The props looked old, the actors were just not bothered and everything felt lacklustre. This is probably because The London Bridge Experience was kicking the dungeons arse left right and centre. The dungeons needed a revamp... but being within such close proximity to a superior attraction the dungeons had to think of a new plan. Relocate! Where? To Merlin Street! (it is called Merlin Street, right? I mean, they own the London Eye now, it would make sense) The new London Dungeons is a mixed bag. I can see that they've done very well with the new location, the themeing is good, the use of different smells worked wonderfully and really gave that old London smell to life. The actors were fine, very funny and quite risqué. As you enter you're told you line up in a queue and wait.... to buy your tickets. I've never had to be in two separate queues for buying a ticket, but there you go. At least I can tick that off the bucket list. The area is dimly lit and while you're waiting the atmosphere is just about right. Strange sounds, smells and actors walking in and out keeping in character. Once you've brought your ticket you're instructed to enter a "lift", this "lift" "descends" quite awkwardly.... only because the exit doors aren't sealed properly. Still, I love* a good fake lift. I don't know what it is about themed attractions/parks treating the GP like we belong on a farm. In a theme park nowadays you queue in a cattle pen. With an attraction such as the London Dungeons you're treated like a herd of sheep. We're herded into different rooms, being beckoned by an actor who needs to keep on schedule.... so you better hurry up. This.... this is where my experience falls flat on its face. Between rooms you're walking through corridors. Corridors. Stairs. Corridors. Stairs. Nothing to look at, just... walls. Oh look there's... no.. wait... it's another wall, don't worry people it's just a wall! Really, there's nothing to see here. Lets keep walking. Baaa. I remember the old dungeons being more spaced out. Between scenes you entered into a different world to explore. Peeking through iron bars to find a dead body covered in rats, prisoners begging for help. The giant axe welding executioner standing in the corner. More bodies, an insight into what an old London house would look like. What the streets felt like. You were transported into London in the 1600's. It felt real. Now, we're just given scenes. Educational, funny, brilliantly acted, historical scenes... but that's it. I spent £25 on a lecture.... ... ...Why?!?! My only problem with the new London Dungeons; it's just scenes. Enter stage left. Exit stage right. It's no longer an open world. There's no longer this idea that there may not be an escape from this dark, damp, horrible, environment. You know that you'll listen to an actor for about 5 minutes and you'll be onto the next one until you're done. Why aren't we trusted to explore? Why must we be herded like sheep? Why must I spend my time with a group people I don't really care for? This experience has caused me to not like corridors any more. I ****ing despise corridors.

I must say given the number of years I've had to put up with the thick, dumb & young direction I find this new style of map refreshing. The coaster designs remind me of the 2001-2003 era, but with a bit of depth (yet slightly over the top). I like the bleached and delicate colour Thorpe Park have gone for, your eyes aren't burning from unnecessary bold colours this year. I understand and will probably echo the fact that detail is lacking, what with paths and rides being totally disregarded - the map is made to feel like Thorpe Park isn't a huge theme park, however, this place is hardly Disney Land or Alton Towers. It's a tiny park. On a rainy day and you jump over a puddle you end up in Calypso Quay. If you're a person that needs help finding a 105ft spinning ride then you're not really looking hard enough. In all, I'm in favour of the new map. Probably because over the past few years Thorpe Park have jizzed on my cup cake and called it icing. This year, if planned well, could be the start of Thorpe Park giving back to the general public, the people that have visited for over two decades and have seen a park rise and fall pretty quickly (in terms of love and care)

Great photos but I'm sure we see most of the park like that during season??!! ;p

...No... no, that's been mentioned.

^ Basically. For me, right from the very beginning Merlin have not and will never care for customer satisfaction. The amount of 'investment' being pumped into the three 'big' parks isn't exactly that great either. Cheap rides advertised as the next best thing since pre-sliced malt loaf. They targeted the complete wrong audience for Thorpe Park and stuck with it, only to now completely do a U-turn. Thats.... not good business. I honestly think Merlin are run by a load of middle aged men/women who are the aunts and uncles you hate because they try too hard to be 'cool' and as if they 'get you'. They only watch BBC Three for market research and hire Pinocchio for the publicity stunts. I have been told to mind what I say in regards that... I don't work behind the scenes. Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps they are all competent. However, I'm a customer. I'm giving them MY money only to see it being used for advertisements for me to not visit next season because I'm not a tween. I don't like to scream if I want to go faster. I don't listen to ****ing pop. Considering I don't get a refund, I'm entitled to be slightly angry that they choose to ignore the large majority of educated, respectable people in this country. In JUST regards to Thorpe Park, they funked up.

...thats enough internet for me. I think I better get back to work

The internet forum is a good way to teach young children that not everyone will agree or like your opinion, unlike the comfort of your own family and the friends you have chosen; you're now mixed with people from many different backgrounds, upbringings, values and (most importantly here) opinions. The big 'O'. It's always best to not come across as a whiny little bitch if someone doesn't like your opinion; you're not very special in the grand scheme of things so why can't you just let it go? Not everyone will like you, not everyone will understand you, not everyone will mind who they're speaking to. I think self-importance is a big deal in this instance. If you're able to understand that you are only 1 in 7 billion people on this little spinning rock then I'm sure forums won't be that big of a deal. But hey! I'm just a cynical, piss artist that stalks the internet forums. Don't listen to me.

Hmm. See, now the one main problem I find with the 3 Gerstlauers I've ridden is the tightness of the track leading to the snappy transitions into inversions/turns. The Smiler, as awesome as it looks, just screams rough and I don't mean 'Colossus rough' or 300 year old stone slide rough, it's those pesky tight turns and inversions. Everything about this ride just doesn't appeal to me in terms of wanting to ride it; these rides are just glorified fairground rides. I will go on the ride with an open mind... I just hope it's intact once it's done. Regards to the fencing. Wow. Just... wow.

Fine!! But really... as much investment has been pumped into all ex-Tussauds parks, at what cost is this in the long run? Merlin have bitten more than they can chew (not exactly relating to The Smiler I admit, but it's a valid concern me thinks) Question. Should I be looking forward to this ride? Bare in mind it's a Gerstlauer and the fact I find Saw to be complete utter... ....The layout looks nuts, not a fan of the black 'n yellow (but that's really subjective), the cars look pretty funky, but will it ride like other Gerstlauers in this country? I'd like to know what similar, if any, rides out there are like?

First visit to the park... thankfully, unlike last year - I'm pretty much game for a second trip and who knows I could go all crazy and plan a third. Good going for Thorpe so far. OR maybe the fact I haven't had a holiday for 2 years - the weather is ****e to do anything else in this country Thorpe Park is all I have? First thing first - The Swarm is... amazing. A wonderful coaster and easily one of the better 'coasters I have ridden. The park itself looks quite cute this year. Perhaps not much happened over the closed season but unlike last year I found the place to be in a better state than before. Apart from weathered attractions the general feel of the place was on par. My first gripe is Atlantis. The hell happened to this place? Turned into a teenyboppers paradise with terrible music that make you want to stick toothpicks in your ears. Compared to my first visit some 14/15 years ago Atlantis is truly a shadow of its former self. Something needs to change and I'm suggesting we *could* start with not trying to appeal to clubbers. I visited the park on an off peak day, I wasn't expecting the place to be empty but not rammed. However, to run one train operation on major rides (notice there's only really two major rides there... I'm not asking for much) is a big let-down to customer satisfaction in regards to value for money. When you spend most of your day queuing and only being able to ride just 4 rides twice - I'm struggling to understand the 48£ price tag. Not everyone wants to go on ride, after ride after ride, some people like to hang around, grab a bite - sit down and have a 'day out'. So, when you do decide to ride being faced with a 40 minute queue with just one train operation is a bit frustrating. Not a big moan there, but I do feel as if I'm echoing what a lot of people are saying. Quick ride breakdown: The Swarm x2. Fantastic. Amazing. Didn't bother with the whole backwards ting, front seat just took my breath away - and THAT'S what a good thrill ride should do. Colossus. =( Was quite frankly the love of my coaster life. Now I wouldn't be bothered if I missed it completely on my next visit. THORPE - just put some new f**king trains and give it a clean!!! N:I. Wasn't expecting much from this, but year after year it just surprises me. The track needs a clean, though. Stealth x2. Front row gets me every time. However, for such a simple coaster it packs a lasting punch. Saw x2. Only even bothered to look at Saw because my girlfriend loves it so much. I'm seriously considering leaving her, it's a terrible ride. Rush. Ran well and all day I think. First time I've witness that. Detonator x2. Will never get bored of it shame it isn't popular enough to warrants a second tower. SooOoo, that was it. Even on a quiet day I'm quite appalled with how many rides I managed. I didn't bother with Tidal Wave because I know what grey skies mean. Vortex last year and the year before that let me down, I heard NO screams coming from that so I didn’t bother. Samurai - I would have ridden it but... y'know, some people just can't stomach flats so I had to miss that out. X... uhm... well... yeah. Most effects were working bar Saw... which didn't bother me the effects haven't really been working since day one - the 'thrilling' part is never switched on. I'm amazed how much heat you feel from the fire ball that gets blasted up towards you on Swarm. Finally... Please Thorpe Park. Colossus was your major attraction that put you on the map - show it some f**king respect!

Great few years Merlin have had so far. Time to GTFO?

Then I serioulsy hope that a lot of forumers won't complain about future developments concerning half baked ideas and half arsed attempts, because... what can we do? There's a lot of topics to what you all think should change, why bother? I just think it's a sorry state Alton, Chessington and Thorpe Park are in since the Merlin takeover. At least Tussauds looked like they cared.

...Fine. See, I understand the point what Thorpe Park are trying to do - I think I've stressed that enough here. I'm not saying I'M only right, but as a customer I can have an OPINION. Sorry if it conflicts with yours, I just won't put up with ''Merlin do what they do.. live with it''. I won't go on, clearly I'm in the minority and I'm fine with that. Just adding my 2cents. Albeit a lot of cents being thrown at the forum, but still... discussions discussions.

IanNem, I'm sorry but your logic makes no sense. You're telling me I should just ignore the cheapness thrown into a theme park just because I won't use the hotel...? So by that you've never had a complaint about anything in your life? It's very childish to say ''well, if you don't like the party you're not invited!! Nuuuuuuuuhhhhh!!!!!'' What if I wanted to have an overnight stay at the park? For years I've looked forward to the prospect of a hotel being built - it never happened, but what did happen is Thorpe Park decided to cater for a demographic that alienates me from wanting an overnight stay because I feel that I don't want to squat in such a depressing environment... and so because we're used to half arsed Merlin I should just put up with it, spend my money on the park a couple of times this year for next years investment in another disappointment? I don't think you see the bigger picture to what I'm saying, the idea is a good one, the execution is considerably poor. Lets stop twisting words also. Merlin own Thorpe Park? Yes? Merlin have said many times they like to compare themselves to Disney. You certainly can't please everyone, I know. But who really are they pleasing with... this grey thing? (apart from that guy ^ ! Seriously! Piss on my argument! ) Again, it'll probably be a success and it'll just help stamp that we LOVE mediocre ambitions.

This is quite random... We don't have a topic for just photos found on the internet? Or maybe we do and I'm too lazy to find one....? Annnnyway, thought I'd share this as I think it's quite a beautiful photo: It is the Odeleite River, in Portugal, nicknamed The Blue Dragon. Credit to Steve Richard for the photo Source: designyoutrust.com

Who's fault that our railway system is quite as bad as it is? Must be all those dodgy Polish workers, not the laziness of our own workforce, eh? I'm suprised you're calling British Rail out RideAddict ;) Tongue firmly in cheek.

I'll stick firmly in the snobby south thank you very much! I guess it only stems from my own selfishness wanting London and near-by areas to be functioning non-stop, always on time. Things don't work out to how many plan and I guess it's just the way it is... still, 280£ for 12 days work!!

Ugh! I know, I know =( It's me being rather moany and not seeing the bigger picture of an infrastructure as huge as ours, but this doesn't take away how much of this money the public spend towards it all and see a very slow progress forward.

I'm not the biggest enthusiast anymore - I just think that if a company believes to be as good as or better than Disney they need to prove it. Again, I'm not arguing that the crash pads were a bad idea. Shipping containers to be re-used as over night stays is a fantastic use of rescorces - but would it hurt to make something look pretty these days? The whole job of a theme park (in my eyes) is to take you away from a bleak, boring typical day into a different world... just my gripe. This'll probably be a sucess and it'll just prove how we will bend over and be shafted by a bussiness.