Inferno

I’ve returned to Paultons’s Park for the first time since I was a kid, this time with my own toddler who has recently made the magic 1 meter + 4 years old combo, meaning we could go on early everything.

It’s probably been over 20 years since I was last there, and the place is now completely unrecognisable.

WHAT A PARK. And what a breath of fresh air!

I have read reviews and watched videos etc, and had high expectations. But honestly I was blown away by just how good Paultons actually is now, especially when it comes to their newer things.

Every expectation I had was exceeded. The rides, theming, food, staff, availability, atmosphere, overall experience, value for money, prices in the park, everything was spot on.

Valgard is truly spectacular, and will be unbelievable when the new water coaster opens next year.

The back to back large scale additions this year and next are an extremely positive sign of things to come. Can’t wait to see the park continue to grow over the coming years.

It’s so encouraging to have had such a positive experience at a UK park, and to see it doing so well.

I hope it continues to go from strength to strength as we gain Universal. The future of the UK theme park industry may be shaky across the board, but there are some real positives - Paultons very much being one of them.

I must admit, I wasn't particularly excited for Drakon either, I think euro-fighters are kinda boring and things like the Mack big dipper are far more versatile and interesting. That being said, Paultons know their target audience incredibly well and have built a ride that caters to that. Obviously Drakon is a massive step up from Storm Chaser in terms of thrill. To be honest I'm far more excited for Serpents Curse. I cannot believe that no other UK park has chased the UK's first water coaster title frankly and I think it's a brilliant choice for Paultons for 2027.

One thing I really like about Paultons is how each caters for the different family members. Take Valgard, it has the thrill coaster, the family coaster, the family flat ride, the play area for kids and in 2027 the water attraction as well as the kids water ride. They pack so much into small areas and theres no wasted space.

I attended the opening day of Valgard yesterday, so let me take a stab at a longer review. Let me start with the area and wider theming...
The Area/Theming
Overall, I think they've done a lovely job with the area! The theming is all absolutely lovely, and they've finished it off very well! In terms of a few specific points of interest:
There are some very nice details around! One of my particular favourites was the sheep "powering" the lift hill for Drakon, but I thought that there was loads to look at!
As someone who wrote a post a few days ago remarking that Paultons' theming lacked theatre and pizzazz, I do have to concede that Drakon is somewhat of an improvement in this regard; I was particularly surprised by the pre-lift section, which is very nicely done!
People (myself included) griped for years about Cobra being unthemed and lacking atmosphere, and it looks a damn sight better now; they've done an absolutely brilliant job with Raven! Even just having the themed queue and station and little bits like the clock towers in the middle and the area around it has enhanced the overall atmosphere no end!
The Feasting Hall is an absolutely excellent indoor space, with some lovely details and a beautiful interior finish. I particularly liked the big fireplace and the big viking ship!
I didn't really notice The Edge not being cohesively themed in; as much as including it would have been nice, it's tucked away somewhat and I don't think it sticks out like too much of a sore thumb.
One minor gripe I would raise is that I think Drakon could maybe have used some theming that interacted slightly more with the ride and/or was slightly more visible to riders. When queueing, you can see some nice details in the ride area, including a shipwreck that lights up with some fake fire and some spikes, but I don't think these are terribly noticeable when on the ride; after the initial interaction with Raven, it does feel a tad like you're riding over some generic nice landscaping. I think more visible theming interactions from on-ride in the vein of Storm Chaser and Pterosaur in the same park or Raven in the same area, or Merlin coasters like Nemesis, Swarm and Wicker Man, might have been nice.
All in all, though, I think it's a lovely area and continues Paultons' streak of very nicely detailed and finished off areas. The park are certainly onto another winner alongside Lost Kingdom and Tornado Springs, and compared to an area like Drayton Manor's 2022 attempt at Vikings, I think it's absolutely night and day!

Let me now move onto the main event...
Drakon
I was highly critical of Paultons building a Gerstlauer Euro-Fighter and have made no secret of the fact that it was far from my first choice of coaster for the park. Having ridden it, I do maintain that it maybe wouldn't have been my first choice and it has not converted me to Euro-Fighters as a ride type in a drastic way, but I acknowledge that it is a good coaster and I think it will go down well with the audience, and that I was perhaps overly harsh at points in the build-up period. To raise a few specific points of interest:
The stall does offer some very good hangtime. I'm quite surprised that Paultons went for such a dramatic inversion on their first ever inverting coaster, but I'm a fan of it and think it works well (or would if it weren't for the restraints... more on that later).
I always like the drop on these Gerstlauer Euro-Fighters, and this one is no exception; it offers some nice airtime!
The ride is definitely much smoother than I'd feared it might be; the tracking was generally very smooth throughout on my rides with minimal rattle or headbanging, although there were still odd sections where my head made mild, brief contact with the restraints.
The ride is perhaps the least intense of the Euro-Fighters I've ridden, and I wouldn't call it an especially forceful or impactful coaster on the whole even if I think the layout is mostly good fun. For the park, I think this works well, but I thought it was worth pointing out.
The first hill going over Raven doesn't really offer any notable airtime, which I was a little disappointed by. I understand that it probably had to be a certain height to clear Raven, but Gerstlauer, for all their flaws, are often quite good at injecting surprise airtime pops into their thrill coasters and a small part of me was hoping that it would be another surprise airtime burst from Gerst!
The ride also doesn't really have any airtime more widely aside from the drop, so doesn't continue Gerstlauer's tradition of incorporating good surprising airtime moments. I wasn't necessarily surprised by this given the layout, but I do think this is something that Saw, Speed and Smiler do better.
The main flaw I would raise, and a criticism that I 100% stand by from when the ride was initially announced, is that I think the OTSRs impede the ride and I would have preferred it with lap bars. On my 3 rides, I found that the OTSRs crushed my thighs and made the stall in particular somewhat uncomfortable. I begrudgingly accept the reasoning for OTSRs, but don't necessarily agree with the logic and think that some nice lap bars, as I know Gerstlauer offer, would definitely have made the ride more fun.
All in all, then, I think Drakon, while not my first choice, is a fun coaster that will suit the park well. It's a very welcome step up in thrill from Paultons Park, and I think the younger guests will like it! In terms of comparisons, it's currently my highest-ranking Gerstlauer thrill coaster for the reason that it's more comfortable to ride than the others, although as I said, it didn't convert me to Euro-Fighters in a drastic way and I've settled on a 6/10 and #49/148 overall. I still personally rank Pterosaur, Storm Chaser and Raven slightly higher within the park.

Finally, I'll briefly touch on Vild Swing...
Vild Swing
I'd never ridden one of these ART wild swings before, so I was interested to get on one for the first time. All in all, I'd say it was OK, but nothing to write home about as someone who's not a big fan of flat rides. The swinging is quite good fun, and early on, none of the sensations feel overly intense, but I would say that the cycle was maybe a bit long for me and I was starting to wear of the repetitive rotating motion by the end. If you’re keener on flats than I am, though, I think you’ll like it!

So all in all, then, I’d say Valgard is a great addition to Paultons Park! The theming is delightful, Drakon is overall a fun coaster that will suit the audience well, and if you’re more of a fan of flat rides than I am, then I think you’ll enjoy Vild Swing! I also think Serpent’s Curse looks like it will be a fun addition for next year!

To close out the review, here are a few photos I took throughout the day:

Love the nod/Easter Egg to the old entrance screen with some dead pixels on the BRAND NEW SCREEN.

For a non-AI answer, there's no explicit reference.

When the ride opened, it did have the "JBS.wrks" sign painted on the building. It was purposefully made to look faded, fitting in with the abandoned warehouse motif of the station and the general Saw storyline.


Image from 2009.

Back then, there was much less emphasis on Easter Eggs, hidden meanings, etc. It was likely thrown on there just to add an extra layer of 'this is an abandoned warehouse' and 'JBS.wrks' sounds like a plausible thing for a warehouse.

The addition of the new signage is a bit unnecessary and doesn't add anything meaningful or worthwhile in my opinion. But equally, for some signs that were probably a couple of hundred quid, it adds another layer for repeat visitors to make things feel fresh.

You could even argue that the "JBS.wrks Est 2009" signage goes against the original planned story, as the whole point is that the warehouse was abandoned and taken over by Jigsaw in 2009. But it's not that deep and doesn't matter.

So yeah, no real relevance. Almost certainly doesn't actually mean anything. And very much done for the sake of it.

Interesting to hear/read about the troubles Towers are having (again) this season, with staggered opening and many rides not opening until well after opening time if at all.

I have heard a lot about a shortage of engineers being one of the main causes of all the problems.

My thought....
Has Alton Towers just become bigger than is feasible to operate?

It's an enormous site with actually quite a few rides, not to mention the 6 hotels....
If you think about the sheer number of staff required to (for example) run a hotel, let alone six, as well as run the daily opening routines and maintenance on all the rides across such a large site, it equates to a huge number of people.
When you also think about how remote the location is, they need to draw employees in from far and wide, which is going to be difficult for a company that doesn't appear to have the money to compete with other companies who might attract potential employees with the same skills and interests, who would prefer a permanent (not seasonal) role.

Considering AT isn't open all year, thus isn't making money for a portion of the year, AND the fact that many of the staff are seasonal, it must be a constant headache to fully staff such an enormous place.

When you compare this situation with that of Thorpe Park's for example, as an outsider at least, it would appear that running a smaller park with fewer aspects (no hotels, smaller site, closer to towns/cities for employment etc) is more advantageous.
Unless of course the business runs and brings in money all year round, like Universal will.

All the black metal fencing behind the boards has been removed. I think the fright nights scenario will become true

About time to move this to The Past now...

Who loves blue boards?


Interestingly there is a gate amongst those boards. A big gate; the type that would traditionally exist for vehicular access.

Whilst I don't think there's immediate plans for work to happen, it at least seems like they're planning for that to happen

Fantastic news about Zodiac seemingly making a comeback soon.

It seems Thorpe are a lot more prepared for the season ahead than Alton Towers, which has several rides closed for the foreseeable future, and is continuing to struggle to open rides at opening time every day.

Hopefully Thorpe will be able to continue with their good operations and availability that they’ve had for several years now. It’s encouraging to see only 2 rides listed to be closed, for just 2 days at that.

Fantastic news about Zodiac seemingly making a comeback soon.

It seems Thorpe are a lot more prepared for the season ahead than Alton Towers, which has several rides closed for the foreseeable future, and is continuing to struggle to open rides at opening time every day.

Hopefully Thorpe will be able to continue with their good operations and availability that they’ve had for several years now. It’s encouraging to see only 2 rides listed to be closed, for just 2 days at that.

Thorpe Park
Ride Availability Information | Thorpe Park Resort
Check live ride availability on the Thorpe Park App, including real-time updates on ride closures and maintenance. Plan your visit with confidence today!
Ride availability page updated to show that Tidal Wave and Zodiac will be closed this weekend. It specifically states 21-22nd March so will be interesting to see if they open next week.

Zodiac was closed most of last season and has last operated in June (?) I believe but looks like it'll be making a return this season. The gondolas which were removed last season have been added back on and it looks like all the gondolas have been tidied up. All the old branding Thorpe logos have been removed.

Boarding is going up:



It was a rehearsal day today. I fully expect the whole ride to be covered, the sign to be removed and the boarding to have something on by opening.

Looks like the fire effect might not be dead in the water (pun intended) quite yet...


Here's what it looked like before:

A big shame they didn't finish it this year. Strange decision, the rest of it looks so good!


Not sure its been mentioned but Passholder day has been announced for next Sunday 22nd. Hours are 11am-5pm which is a shame as we got 11am-7pm last year. No night rides on passholder day this year.

Shame its closing 1 year before its big 40, and we didn't get a last chance to ride (it definitely said returning 2026 on the queue boards) but budgets have clearly changed and forced it to close.

I'm not surprised and do think its the right decision. Its by far the worst rapids in the UK and it's a shadow of its former self. The more recent changes it went through took all the fun it had left out of it, removing the fun soundtrack and changing to dull colours.

Last year, it was hardly open anyway so it just isn't worth the resource getting it open anymore. Whats the point in getting it through winter maintenance and ages staff training for the sake of a couple of months. Then when it is open, you have the huge running costs + heavily staffed. I'd rather have the rapids closed than cuts elsewhere on park.

My favorite memory hands down is when they added that huge fire hose type water effect near the start of the ride. That didn't last long 🤣

Rumba was always good fun in my early years of visiting Thorpe so sad to see another Thorpe classic close. RIP Rumba ❤️

I wonder if it’s something that became a victim of its own success, and because of that just spiralled out of control over the years.

Many parks can be busy but still have fast moving queues, and actually to be honest if theoretically Merlin somehow abolished RAP (and fastrack) all together, you could almost argue that queuing would barely be an issue for anyone at all, even on busy days, because the single queue would simply just keep moving at a pretty fast pace, at least on the high capacity rides anyway.

I wonder if the issue is that over the years RAP and Fastrack have made standby queues at UK Merlin parks appear unbearable on peak days, causing RAP to appear more essential…. Which in turn causes queues to worsen…. Which in turn causes RAP to appear even more essential… and so on.

Just a thought. But I do think this idea that standby queues on peak days can be silly might be the reason RAP is relied upon by so many.

Looks like it is happening, with this being a project that was tendered over a year ago...

Something that I often find weird is how much the height restrictions can differ between similar rides at different parks.

For example, to ride Marauders Mayhem or Dobble Teaparty you have to be 1.1M tall, but Mad Hatter’s tea party at DLP, essentially the same ride, can literally be ridden by a newborn baby as there are no restrictions.

That same newborn baby could also ride Pirates of the Caribbean with its drops and spooky scenes, but would have to wait until they’re 0.9M to ride Curse at Alton Manor.

Similarly Runaway Mine Train at Alton Towers has a min height of 1.3 meters, but the likes of the far more intense Wickerman and Big Thunder Mountain is only 1.2. Although Wicker does have individual restraints rather than the single bar between 2 people on runaway and BTM

Tower of Terror can surprisingly be ridden by someone just 102CM tall. So most 4 year old children can ride that before they’re allowed on the teacups at AT & TP.

Is anyone else aware of any bizarre height restrictions, or any of the reasoning behind some of them?

For the record I’m not arguing against any of these restrictions, clearly there’s a reason for them, I just find it an odd and interesting quirk.

I agree it is a huge shame that there is quite literally nothing going on.

Although to be fair over the last decade there has been a lot of rubbish advertised as “new” - the various year-round mazes and some of the events for example. The absence of those sort of things isn’t that bad in my opinion, and realistically something new isn’t needed every year. Not many parks do that do they.

In recent years they have also made a lot of improvements to the areas other than the rides - the toilets to name one example.
Thorpe is probably one of the (if not THE) best Merlin park in terms of general upkeep.

I agree though that it is a shame there doesn’t appear to be anything at all happening again. It’s been a few years now since they’ve been able to boast anything notably new.

I wonder if Colossus will finally be finished in the next couple of months at least? Despite all the cuts to spending at Merlin I’d at least expect that to be done before opening, as well as Zodoac getting sorted.

I wonder if the beach project will ever happen now? I can’t help but think the money would be better put towards a larger project.

I took a wander down Monks Walk on Monday and I didn't take any photos/videos, simply because there was nothing to take photos of.

I think in some ways we've been spoilt over recent years, with lots of works visible from Monks Walk (from Hyperia, to Fright Nights, etc) as well as many in-park updates. But it hasn't always been like that - rewind 10+ years ago and Monks Walk never really showed anything particularly interesting beyond the odd glimpse, despite many things happening. Okay, we still got the odd in-park update too, but right now the level of updates is going back closer to a reset of what was once the norm.
I do also think compared to many other seasonal parks, Thorpe gets a heck of a lot of eyes put on it out of closed season, with many updates shared and visible. Thorpe have, in some ways, been the exception to the rule in that case.

That's not to say the lack of any visible updates isn't disheartening though. Finishing off Colossus' repaint would be amazing. Inferno and Swarm would benefit from TLC. Rumba Rapids is dying. The fact there's been no visible work there is a shame, and indicates we're unlikely to see much there. The Beach area cannot really be seen from outside the park, so we're none-the-wiser about anything happening there.


The 'New for ___' is a double-edged sword. New stuff each year can be beneficial, but Thorpe in particular are seeing the dangers of adding in new hardware/rides yearly as now they have several 'old' rides which are going to require more work all close together. New events can be okay, but gimmicky and don't really draw people in.

If you look at some of the better-received parks, the likes of Phantasialand and Efteling, they don't add in many new things. Since 2015...
Phantasialand have added in 3 new coaster, rethemed a coaster and a 4D show and added in a couple of walkthroughs / play areas.
Efteling have added in 2 new coasters (I guess technically 3 as one is a duelling coaster), 2 new dark rides and rethemed a couple of things.
In that same time, Thorpe have added in 1 new coaster, 1 new dark ride, rethemed some things and done a couple of walkthroughs.
The level of investments isn't as big a difference in the overall park experience and quality. And that's the bigger issue - Thorpe haven't consistently been able to upkeep their attractions (or revitalise them) the same as other parks that invest at a similar frequency.

I think the other issue - which is Merlin-wide - is Thorpe does rely extremely heavily on returning visitors, as opposed to new visitors. Whether that's them, over a 10-20 year period, having exhausted the market and not been able to expand it or a purposeful strategy to not try and reach more people, or another reason entirely, is unclear. But it is certainly the bigger issue that the park face. They've had a huge new coaster for 1 and a half seasons - that's still a big deal, and not really something that should be viewed as stagnation.
But when the park aren't pushing it and rely too heavily on repeat visits, then it will feel like that.


You say that, but then they've recently announced Legoland Germany are getting a Lego Harry Potter Land, which will be Merlin's single biggest investment into any theme park. Legolands California and Florida are getting substantial new coasters next year. Chessington are getting Minecraft World soon, and Towers' big new coaster seems to still be going ahead. Gardaland invested 12 million Euros into retheming their indoor boat ride this (where that 12m went I don't fully know, but that's what they did).

They're financial issues have been documented in the press, and their selling / closing down of midway attractions, outsourcing and structural changes are further signs of that I expect. But they are still making investments, and notable ones at that, in many places. But it feels like Thorpe is being brushed aside a bit right now (along with Heide Park...if I didn't know any better, I'd have thought Merlin forgot they still own it).

I agree it is a huge shame that there is quite literally nothing going on.

Although to be fair over the last decade there has been a lot of rubbish advertised as “new” - the various year-round mazes and some of the events for example. The absence of those sort of things isn’t that bad in my opinion, and realistically something new isn’t needed every year. Not many parks do that do they.

In recent years they have also made a lot of improvements to the areas other than the rides - the toilets to name one example.
Thorpe is probably one of the (if not THE) best Merlin park in terms of general upkeep.

I agree though that it is a shame there doesn’t appear to be anything at all happening again. It’s been a few years now since they’ve been able to boast anything notably new.

I wonder if Colossus will finally be finished in the next couple of months at least? Despite all the cuts to spending at Merlin I’d at least expect that to be done before opening, as well as Zodoac getting sorted.

I wonder if the beach project will ever happen now? I can’t help but think the money would be better put towards a larger project.

Does anyone feel like Ready Player One has overstayed its welcome at the cinema?

Sonic Spinball had to be rethemed for similar reasons, the allegations that Knuckles filed meant they had to quickly drop the brand in closed season so it's definitely possible they could reopen as just David Land and drop the Walliams.

Ah love these.

Unfortunately my lists are very short nowadays, but I've had a fair year theme park wise (considering how life is now!)
Thorpe Park x1
Alton Towers x1
Legoland Windsor x1
Disneyland Park Paris x3
Walt Disney Studios Paris x2

I do miss the days when I had huge lists, and I was at Thorpe & Towers 10-20 times each!

Sad to have not been to any fireworks events or halloween this year, for the first time in... I don't know how long.

Still, could be worse.

Paulton's next year for the first time in 20 years!

Ah love these.

Unfortunately my lists are very short nowadays, but I've had a fair year theme park wise (considering how life is now!)
Thorpe Park x1
Alton Towers x1
Legoland Windsor x1
Disneyland Park Paris x3
Walt Disney Studios Paris x2

I do miss the days when I had huge lists, and I was at Thorpe & Towers 10-20 times each!

Sad to have not been to any fireworks events or halloween this year, for the first time in... I don't know how long.

Still, could be worse.

Paulton's next year for the first time in 20 years!