Matt N

I went to Thorpe last week and grabbed various throughput timings and operational insights. For a midweek day, I thought operations were generally pretty good! The timings I grabbed were as follows: Colossus (Theoretical: 1,300pph on 2 trains) - 730pph (2 trains, average of 2, 24th September 2026) Hyperia (Theoretical: 1,050pph on 2 trains) - 679pph (2 trains, average of 6, 24th September 2026) (This figure was skewed downwards by 2 much slower dispatches of 118s and 134s, and the other 4 dispatches ranged between 93s and 98s, averaging 96s and resulting in around 750pph) Nemesis Inferno (Theoretical: 1,150pph on 2 trains) - 1,191pph (2 trains, average of 5, 24th September 2026) (this reading was skewed downwards by one anomalously slow dispatch of 100s; the other 4 dispatches ranged between 76s and 85s, averaging 80.8s and resulting in around 1,248pph), 1,090pph (2 trains, average of 4, 24th September 2026) Saw: The Ride (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 8 cars/2 stations) - 837pph (unknown number of cars/2 stations, average of 10, 24th September 2026) Stealth (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 2 trains) - 811pph (2 trains, average of 5, 24th September 2026), 893pph (2 trains, average of 5, 24th September 2026) The Swarm (Theoretical: 1,100pph on 2 trains) - 970pph (2 trains, average of 9, 24th September 2026) (This figure is skewed downwards by one anomalously slow dispatch interval of 122s; the other 8 ranged between 91s and 112s, averaging 101.6s and resulting in around 991pph) In terms of some general insights, I’d say the following: Nemesis Inferno was operated like I have honestly never seen that ride operated before! The operations were incredible, and minimal to no stacking was par for the course for the entire day, from what I could see! With that morning reading of 1,191pph in particular, I have never seen the ride have dispatch intervals of ~80s or less that consistently before and didn’t even know it was possible, and when I got in the station and saw those ops at work, it was quite something! The staff were brilliantly fast, with them running up and down the train checking bars and the operator coming over the tannoy giving it the whole “this train is ready to leave with or without you”! I’m going out on a limb and saying that it was the best operated Nemesis I rode that week, having been to Alton earlier in the week, and possibly in the running for best operated B&M invert of the year (yes, even including OzIris). Phenomenal work! Swarm was pretty good. I do think the ride could perhaps be enhanced even further operationally if the baggage hold returned, but I thought they were generally doing quite a decent job on there. Stealth was also pretty good in general, even if the ride has never quite matched the “better part of 1,000pph” heights I logged it reaching last year. Oddly, it quite comfortably puts Rita to shame throughputs-wise (even when Rita runs 2 trains) despite supposedly having a lower theoretical! They also had a batcher on here for the first time in a while, which was interesting; it certainly made the platform more organised than usual. Every time I ride Hyperia, I think it’s slowed down so much by that gap in between trains and how slow the brake run is. There’s easily a good 20-30 second gap between trains being in the station when the ride runs well, and if they were able to speed up that brake run a tad, I think it could make the ride gain a fair whack of throughput, as the staff on there are generally very prompt! Overall, I thought the park was generally quite well operated, and perhaps controversially, I would argue that Thorpe Park presently has the most consistently good ride operations and throughputs of the 4 UK Merlin parks. While I think Alton Towers at their best can still match or exceed Thorpe, I think they’ve proven more inconsistent recently and if I’m comparing like for like based on my visits this week, Thorpe Park had everything running on full capacity this week unlike Alton Towers and also seemed to have generally better staffing and levels of urgency on the platforms. I wouldn’t necessarily have said this a few years ago, but I do think Thorpe has improved quite considerably in terms of throughputs in the last 5 years or so!

I realised that I’ve been on quite a few trips since I last posted any fresh throughput timings, so let me provide some from my trip to France in June and my recent trips to some Merlin parks last week! Parc Astérix Cétautomatix (Theoretical: Unknown on 9 cars) - 690pph (unknown number of cars, average of 1, 29th June 2026) Goudurix (Theoretical: Unknown on 2 trains) - 797pph (2 trains, average of 3, 29th June 2026) OzIris (Theoretical: 1,600pph on 3 trains) - 1,124pph (2 trains, average of 9, 29th June 2026) Pégase Express (Theoretical: Unknown on 4 trains) - 1,000pph (4 trains, average of 4, 29th June 2026) Tonnerre 2 Zeus (Theoretical: Unknown on 2 trains) - 762pph (2 trains, average of 7, 29th June 2026) Toutatis (Theoretical: 1,260pph on 3 trains) - 1,156pph (2 trains, average of 1, 29th June 2026), 954pph (2 trains, average of 9, 29th June 2026) Trace du Hourra (Theoretical: Unknown on unknown number of trains) - 1,090pph (unknown number of trains, average of 6, 29th June 2026) Vol D’Icare (Theoretical: 1,150pph on 5 trains) - 425pph (unknown number of trains, average of 1, 29th June 2026) (this figure assumes 8 riders per train, which I’m not certain is actually correct) In terms of some general operational insights: A number of the rides here had a rather peculiar loose article storage situation, wherein riders would stack their bags in a big trolley. It certainly made the platform operations speedy, but there must be a less faffy way to store bags before and after the ride, as getting them out at the end was a right faff! Other rides, curiously including Goudurix, had riders take bags on with them; you certainly wouldn’t be taking bags on a 7-looping Vekoma in Britain! A number of lap bar rides did not do manual restraint checks, which made for very speedy operations. Trace du Hourra in particular was a standout, and I feel like my 1,090pph figure does not do the operations on there justice; it was quite routinely banging out 40-45s dispatches, with the odd one even being under 40s. That’s absolutely obscene, and I dare say puts even Schweizer Bobbahn at Europa Park to shame; on this ride, you would frequently have a train leave the station before the one in front had left the lift hill, and for the most part, the operations on there ran like clockwork! Cétautomatix ran like absolute clockwork; it had a conveyor belt loading system, and they seem to have nailed those consistent 20s or so dispatch intervals down to a fine art! Operations were generally very, very prompt on the larger coasters, with both Toutatis and OzIris seeming pretty well operated. Again, both figures I have, particularly the one for OzIris, seem too low relative to how prompt I seem to remember the ops being; they really were quite fast on there! I seem to remember OzIris most typically managing 90s or so dispatch intervals. The loading process on Pégase Express was quite disorganised, with nobody really knowing where to go and this causing delays on the platform. The platform staff were still very prompt and dispatches were still pretty good on the whole, but it did sometimes cause trains to stack on the brake run. On the whole, I would say Astérix seemed like a pretty well operated park, with limited downtime and generally fast throughputs! Even though some of the queues were quite long, they mostly seemed to move pretty quickly (with Toutatis being an odd exception; is there a lot of Fastrack on there or something)? Disneyland Paris Avengers Assemble: Flight Force (Theoretical: 1,800pph on 5 trains) - 1,613pph (unknown number of trains, average of 2, 2nd July 2026) Big Thunder Mountain (Theoretical: 2,424pph on 5 trains/2 stations) - 1,577pph (unknown number of trains/2 stations, average of 6, 2nd July 2026) Indiana Jones et le Temple du Peril (Theoretical: Unknown on unknown number of trains) - 1,073pph (unknown number of trains, average of 2, 2nd July 2026) It’s a Small World (Theoretical: Unknown on unknown number of boats) - 1,155pph (unknown number of boats, average of 1, 2nd July 2026) (I had this down as 1,732pph, but I for some reason put that it had 24 riders per boat while Wikipedia claims 16, so I’ve adjusted the figure downwards to compensate… is Wikipedia correct?) Space Mountain (Theoretical: Unknown on 5 trains/2 stations) - 1,642pph (unknown number of trains/2 stations, average of 6, 2nd July 2026) In terms of some general operational insights: Things generally operated very, very promptly. Disney parks may not rank as my absolute favourite parks, but the operations are one aspect of them I cannot criticise and generally very much like; similarly to Universal Orlando, the platform staff operate with almost a military degree of precision and speed and queues generally move quickly! They had quite a good common sense policy on restraint checking here that I very much liked and made things move promptly. They had everyone pulling up on their restraint to check that it was locked instead of doing checks up and down the whole train, which made things go quickly; why can’t more parks do that? Like Astérix, Disney seems to have a surprising tolerance for loose articles on intense rides. Both Avengers and Space Mountain have you carrying all loose articles, including bags, on board, which surprised me; is H&S more lax in France or something? I guess I could also ask the same question about the point above, actually, as I feel like the UK wouldn’t let you get away with bags on a looping coaster or no physical restraint checks, as much as I felt no physical restraint checks made sense and made things move more quickly… One exception to the “queues moving quickly” rule was Spider-Man; this seemed like ever such a slow queue, for some reason… So all in all, then, I was generally very pleased with the operations at DLP; the queues are long, but they move quickly and the park generally operates their rides very well! Alton Towers Galactica (Theoretical: 1,500pph on 3 trains/2 stations) - 533pph (2 trains/1 station, average of 3, 21st September 2026), 622pph (unknown number of trains, average of 3, 22nd September 2026) Nemesis Reborn (Theoretical: 1,400pph on 2 trains) - 1,141pph (2 trains, average of 4, 21st September 2026) (take this one with a pinch of salt as they began sending every other train around empty, hence I stopped the timing), 566pph (1 train, average of 2, 22nd September 2026) Oblivion (Theoretical: 1,900pph on 7 shuttles/2 stations) - 468pph (3 shuttles/1 station, average of 6, 21st September 2026) (skewed upwards by one 167s dispatch; the other 5 dispatches ranged between 104s and 128s, averaging 114.4s and coming out at around 503pph), 610pph (3 shuttles/1 station, average of 2, 21st September 2026) Rita (Theoretical: 1,150pph on 2 trains) - 392pph (1 train, average of 4, 21st September 2026) Spinball Whizzer (Theoretical: 950pph on 8 cars) - 626pph (5 cars, average of 1, 21st September 2026) The Smiler (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 5 trains) - 734pph (3 trains, no baggage hold, average of 2, 21st September 2026), 706pph (3 trains, no baggage hold, average of 5, 22nd September 2026) Thirteen (Theoretical: 1,100pph on 3 trains) - Didn’t get a timing, but it was definitely only on 2 trains and had no baggage hold operating (22nd September 2026) Wicker Man (Theoretical: 952pph on 3 trains) - 897pph (2 trains, average of 3, 21st September 2026), 978pph (3 trains, average of 3, 22nd September 2026), 728pph (3 trains, average of 10, 22nd September 2026) (this one was skewed down by 3 anomalously long readings of 147s, 192s and 166s; the other 7 ranged between 78s and 114s, averaging 97.3s and coming out at around 888pph) In terms of some insights, I would say the following: People aren’t going to like me for saying this, but I think that the operation of the pre-show 100% stifled Wicker Man’s throughput last week. The platform staff were as prompt as ever, but so, so often, the train was sitting empty in the station waiting ages for people to be batched into it because the ride was operating more quickly than the pre-show, meaning that quite a few seconds were wasted and the batchers were having to run around like lunatics to batch everyone into an empty train as quickly as possible. It didn’t matter too much, as the ride wasn’t too busy at all, but if this is what happens on a busier day, I think the process needs work. While I acknowledge that there were 3 anomalously long dispatch intervals and the other 7 averaged 97s, having 3/10 dispatch intervals being 2.5+ minutes when the ride is running 3 trains is not great; that’s definitely the worst throughput I’ve ever seen on Wicker Man running 3 trains. I would argue that putting 3 trains on it, while of course welcomed, was possibly not the park’s top priority on the Tuesday when other things were running 1 train and had longer queues; Monday proved that it still does fairly well on 2 and the pains with the pre-show meant that 3 frequently offered little to no benefit in practice on this visit. It was disappointing to see Rita on 1 train for the whole trip. The ride routinely had queues of 30+ minutes going up to 45 minutes, and the cause didn’t even appear to be mechanical; the ride was running a different train each day, with the blue train running on Monday and the purple train running on Tuesday. Oblivion appeared understaffed, with the ride being on 1 station and seemingly having a staff member having to both batch and dispatch simultaneously. This slowed the ride down to an average of under 500pph on one 6-interval reading, which isn’t great even on 1 station; even when I take the anomaly out of the equation, the other 5 readings only narrowly exceeded an average of 500pph. Nemesis was doing quite well on the Monday, but seeing it on 1 train on the Tuesday was disappointing given that the queue still hit 30 minutes. They also appeared to start the practice of only filling every other train on Monday, which seemed odd… Given that the ride wasn’t operating a baggage hold and only ran 3 trains, I thought Smiler’s operations remained impressively prompt, on the whole. They always do pretty well on that ride! I would say the same about Thirteen given it was also only running 2 trains and had no baggage hold; the staff were prompt, the ride pretty consistently didn’t stack and queues remained relatively low! Spinball always remains pretty strong operationally; while I could only time 1 dispatch, they seem to have nailed that consistent 20-25s dispatch interval down to a pretty fine art and have it running like clockwork, to the point where it actually outdid a fair few of the larger coasters on throughput this trip! It certainly runs much better and more consistently than Dragon’s Fury down at Chessington, anyway! All in all, I wouldn’t say this was my finest trip to Alton operationally speaking. I had a very good visit, getting on lots of rides each day, and in the main, I can’t complain too much, but there were still queues in excess of 30 minutes where I would argue there didn’t need to be and lots of things were running on reduced throughputs. I’ve often said that Alton’s ride throughputs are pretty good and overly criticised, and on the whole, that’s a stance I stand by, but if this visit was my sole experience of Alton Towers operations, I could perhaps empathise with the criticism a little more. Chessington Dragon’s Fury (Theoretical: 950pph on 8 cars) - 443pph (unknown number of cars, average of 10, 25th September 2026) (This reading was skewed downwards by 3 slower readings of 43s, 42s and 40s; the other 7 readings ranged between 23s and 34s, averaging 28.6s and resulting in around 504pph. This reading also assumes full cars of 4, which was not always the case due to the policy of only allowing 3 adults in a car.) Mandrill Mayhem (Theoretical: 840pph on 1 train) - 605pph (1 train, average of 4, 25th September 2026) (This reading was skewed downwards by 1 slower reading of 207s; the other 3 readings ranged between 144s and 166s, averaging 153s and resulting in around 659pph) Vampire (Theoretical: 1,200pph on 3 trains) - 512pph (2 trains, average of 5, 25th September 2026) (This reading was skewed downwards by 1 slower reading of 200s; the other 4 intervals ranged between 154s and 167s, averaging 161s and resulting in around 537pph) In terms of some general insights: Dragon’s Fury, while they make an earnest effort on there, definitely doesn’t run as consistently well as Spinball at Alton Towers. While you occasionally had those 20-25s glimmers of excellence shining through, the ride is hobbled by the whole procedure of the scales and the weighting faff, and unlike Spinball, they struggle to have it consistently clearing the 500pph mark. This isn’t great when Dragon’s Fury is a headline attraction at Chessington while Spinball is a decidedly peripheral coaster at Alton Towers. And that’s before you consider that Fury frequently doesn’t fill the cars unlike Spinball, which would make the real world throughput even lower than my numbers imply. Mandrill Mayhem continues with the odd charade of not letting you stand in the airgates until the ride has come to a stop, which seems counterintuitive when the ride is already a headline coaster that intrinsically can only run 1 train. The actual platform staff seem quite prompt on there, to be fair, but there’s only so well they can do when the ride only runs 1 train to begin with and the Wing Coaster is intrinsically slightly more difficult to operate quickly. In fairness, Vampire seemed better staffed and operated than last time I came to Chessington, with a dedicated batcher and 2 platform staff, and as a result, the average dispatch interval was a good minute faster (2.5-3 minutes compared to nearly 4 minutes in 2023). The platform staff were prompt and the actual restraint checks were very good and quick! However, the batcher frequently didn’t batch the airgates until the train was in the station with people waiting to board for some reason, which seemed odd and like it was wasting unnecessary seconds. I also never noticed before how the ride has perhaps the slowest train parking known to man, with nearly 50s passing between trains being parked in the station; that certainly can’t help throughputs! While Chessington as a park lacks capacity compared to Towers or Thorpe and many of their rides, particularly more recent ones, have quite low inherent capacities, they have some rides that I feel could and should be relatively high capacity, but aren’t due to procedure, inherent design flaws or a mix of both. Vampire is one example, but the most egregious one is probably Tomb Blaster. A ride with multiple large trains and simple lap bar restraints should attain a pretty good throughput, right? And yet, it doesn’t! One poor man operates it entirely on his own, it takes what feels like forever and a day for one train to leave the station and another to park in it, and when all these things are added together, the ride ends up having a surprisingly slow throughput! ZUFARI is another one where I feel like it should theoretically have high capacity; big safari trucks feel like something you should fairly easily be able to bung people onto and send to get a good capacity, but it seems quite sluggish and has some odd design choices, such as having exiting guests cross directly in front of those who board unnecessarily… what is that about? All in all, I would say Chessington generally has weaker throughputs than Alton or Thorpe. While the operations themselves aren’t overly terrible by any means and the staff mostly make an earnest effort, I do think the park inherently has a real lack of capacity and is hobbled by some rather odd procedural quirks. I do fear it could really struggle on peak days next season if Minecraft proves popular unless they invest a bit of money into improving throughputs, or at very least put some energy into improving throughputs as Thorpe seemingly did prior to Hyperia opening.

25th September 2026: Chessington Today was the second day of this trip down South; after a night in the hotel, I spent the day in Chessington! I was interested to get back to Chessington, as my last visit there was in 2023 and before that, my last visit was all the way back in 2014; it’s a park I’ve seldom been to compared to Towers and Thorpe, so it packs a lot more mystery and is likely a lot more interesting to read a report from me about! I had stayed in the Safari Hotel, and previously unbeknownst to me, Chessington still offers ERT to its hotel guests for the entire season. This was a nice perk, so I intended to take full advantage, and as a result, I headed to the Azteca Hotel area to await entry into the park for 9am: Before going in, we were held in the Amazu (?) area, with lots of animals to look at. I’ve never been in this area of Chessington before, and it was quite nice! When entry came at 9am, I headed to the one substantial coaster open during ERT… Mandrill Mayhem Mandrill Mayhem was on an advertised 5 minute queue, and was the only substantial coaster open during ERT, so I decided to take a ride on there. As a matter of fact, the 5 minute queue on there was overstated, as I was batched straight into the airgates; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I hadn’t remembered being a huge fan in 2023, so I was intrigued to get back on there. Truth be told, I’m still not a massive fan, if I’m honest. I was sat on the inner seat of row 1, and to start with the positives, the first swing launch section of the ride is good fun! While it’s hardly the swing launch on Toutatis, the backwards launch and junior scorpion tail provide fun floaty airtime, and the launch back through the station is decently punchy! I find myself liking it less when you get past this point, however; the layout doesn’t do a huge amount, and what it does do I find uncomfortable and/or nauseating. I don’t care for the sustained hangtime of the helix, and the roll is just a bit too slow for my own tastes. While I’m not sure rough is the right word, the ride also isn’t overly smooth, and judders about a surprising amount even in the inner seats. The other trouble is that I’m not generally the world’s biggest fan of shuttle coasters, and for some reason, the backwards portion of Mandrill Mayhem leaves me feeling very slightly nauseous. I find this quite odd, as plenty of far more intense coasters don’t make me feel nauseous and other coasters with backwards sections, like Thirteen and the family boomerangs, don’t make me feel nauseous. Perhaps it’s just the more intense backwards section, as I’d say Revolution and Wipeout were somewhat similar? It’s a shame; as Swarm is in my top 20, I should have been falling in love with the same style of ride at Chessington, but I’ve just never overly warmed to it: After getting off, I then headed back round for another ride. I got front row again and had similar thoughts. After that, I thought I should divvy things up from just repeatedly riding Mandrill Mayhem, so I decided to take an opportunity to grab the credit on the other coaster that was on ERT… Chase’s Mountain Mission The new-for-2026 World of Paw Patrol was also open for ERT, and Chase’s Mountain Mission was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I needed the credit, any notion of me not riding kiddie coasters has well and truly gone out the window after this season, and I figured that this was likely to be my quietest chance (a suspicion proven correct by the 45 minute queues later in the day), I decided I might as well give it a go. I walked straight in… but I didn’t realise that the ride had a whole preshow sequence. And I have to admit that this made the experience particularly excruciating compared to a normal kiddie coaster ride… perhaps I’m too self-conscious, but when you’re stood alone in a tight room filled with young families while you have dancing lights around you or are being addressed as “junior patrollers” by the preshow, I don’t quite know what to do other than look around awkwardly! I think kiddie coasters with preshows might be a genre to avoid… anyway, how was the ride? Well, it’s a mirror image of Farmyard Flyer at Paultons, if I’m not wrong, and similarly to that, the ride was a perfectly adequate, if unremarkable, kiddie coaster, with some mild moments of speed and quite a short track length. It seemed a tad smoother than Farmyard Flyer, and while I can’t speak for the accuracy of the theming to the show as my only knowledge of Paw Patrol is from half-watching it with my Gen Alpha cousins when they were at my nan’s house, it all seemed quite nice: After getting off Chase’s Mountain Mission, I left the Paw Patrol area and closed out ERT with two further rides on Mandrill Mayhem in rows 3 and 4: As 10am was fast approaching, I then decided to get in the pre-opening queue for… Dragon’s Fury I knew that the queues for Dragon’s Fury could get long, so I decided to try and beat the masses into the pre-opening queue. This proved a prudent choice, as I got on within 5 minutes; I can’t moan about that for a popular ride! So, how was Dragon’s Fury? Well, I’m not normally the biggest fan of spinning coasters, but I have to say that Dragon’s Fury was good fun! It seemed smoother than Spinball, the ride span well without spinning excessively, and I find the sprawling layout much more fun to ride than Spinball’s more tightly packed one; you even get a couple of nice bits of airtime on there! Dragon’s Fury was a nice surprise this morning, and I definitely enjoyed it: After Dragon’s Fury, I decided to strike the other major coaster while queues were low… Vampire Vampire was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to give it a go while the queue remained short. This proved a prudent decision, as I got on within 10 minutes, and I have to say that the operations on here were stronger than they were last time I was at Chessington; while the throughput will never be absolutely brilliant for a litany of reasons, the operators were getting the trains out with relatively good urgency! So, how was the ride? Well, I remember not overly rating Vampire back in 2014, but I liked it much more in 2023… and I have to say I liked it even more again today! I was seated in row 12, and I have to say that the ride delivers wonderfully as a family coaster; it has some absolutely ace moments of speed and force for a family coaster, those properly swinging trains add a definite additional thrill compared to the bog-standard SFC trains on something like Flight of the Pterosaur, and contrary to what 2014 me said, I also don’t find it overly rough. Overall, then, I thoroughly enjoyed Vampire this morning, and despite it being Chessington’s oldest coaster, I would say it’s still easily their best (for me at least); it’s a great ride, and I think is proof that old can still be great: After getting off Vampire, I initially pondered an instant reride after having enjoyed it, but the queue had gone up to 20 minutes at the entrance and was later announced by the operator as 35, so I thought that riding something new was probably the better course of action. As such, I decided to head for… Croc Drop Croc Drop was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. The queue time board was true to its word, and I was indeed on within 5 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was it? Well, I’m a fan of a good drop tower, and while Croc Drop is hardly one of the more intense ones out there, I still think it’s quite good fun, with some fun giggly drops that provide mild lift! I also quite like the theming and audio on there; I think all the mist and music gives it quite a sense of occasion: After getting off Croc Drop, I decided to head for a ride I hadn’t ridden since 2014… Zufari Zufari was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t ridden it since 2014, I decided to give it another go and get a fresh opinion. The ride did have a single rider queue, but it made little difference as the truck was waiting for people to board, so I hopped into an empty seat at the end of a row. So, how was Zufari? Well, I’d remembered it being good fun in 2014, if not quite on the same scale as Kilimanjaro Safaris at Animal Kingdom, which I rode for the first time a month after my last ride on Zufari. However, I’m going to ask a very blunt question after my ride today… was Zufari always that rubbish? Or did Kilimanjaro at Animal Kingdom just ruin it for me? I’d remembered it being shorter than Kilimanjaro… but today, it felt like you passed only about two animal species before you hit the finale, which by safari standards is pathetically short. And I feel like I remember the cave at the end doing something in 2014… but today, it made no sense whatsoever as we literally just drove through a cave with some pretty plants. It was fun to see a few animals, but I’m not sure I’d waste my time riding it again unless it was on a very short queue like it was today: After getting off Zufari, I decided to head for a dark ride… Tomb Blaster Tomb Blaster was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to have a go on there. The queue took 10 minutes, so I got on in relatively little time, which I can never moan about! So, how was it? Well, it was good fun! I do have to say that that ride has some very impressive physical scenery and quite a nice storyline, and some of the scenes are really quite nice! The lighting could be improved in some scenes, though; I wonder if a Curse-style revamp, where they reuse lots of the scenery and just modernise everything a bit, might go down well on here in the future: After Tomb Blaster, I headed for another reride on Mandrill Mayhem. The single rider queue was unfortunately closed today, so I queued for around 10 minutes in the main queue. I was in row 1 this time, and similarly to earlier, the ride had a fun launch, but I’m not its biggest fan overall: I then headed for another reride on Vampire, on an advertised 40 minute queue that took 35. In the queue, I was behind two boys who were using Nokia flip phones; I had no idea those were still a thing, let alone still in fashion! As for the ride itself, I was in row 11 and it was once again great fun; it’s such a great family coaster, and I definitely didn’t appreciate it enough before: After Vampire, I pondered a spot of lunch, but I noticed that everywhere was either closed or had a big queue, so I decided to take another ride on Croc Drop to wait for the queues to die down. Once again, the ride was really good fun: After getting off Croc Drop, I decided to brave the queue for Drop’n’Chicken, which ended up taking about 30-45 minutes out of the day when you combine the queueing and the eating! I then had a reride on Dragon’s Fury, which was once again good fun! Although incidentally, why is it that they faff around with weighing groups and such on here when they don’t on Spinball? The procedural difference seems odd: After Dragon’s Fury, I went for another reride on Mandrill Mayhem. I waited 20 minutes and was in row 3; very disappointingly, I never got further back than row 4 all day, despite wanting to get further back to try the backwards row: After Mandrill Mayhem, I closed out my day with not one, but two back-to-back rerides on Vampire. One took an hour, as the ride closed for “essential cleaning” when I was at the end of the queue and the queue was advertised at 40 to begin with, while the second took only 10 minutes as I took advantage of the depleted post-closure queue. These were in row 11 and row 12 respectively, and they were terrific fun once again; the ride had warmed up nicely over the course of the day, with some brilliant whip in those corners!: After getting off Vampire, I hadn’t realised that it was already past park close; I had foolishly thought that the park closed at 5pm, but it had actually closed at 4pm. As such, I dashed out of the park to try and catch an earlier train out of Chessington South. This later backfired, as I had to buy a new ticket and while everything ran well up to London Paddington, my train between London Paddington and Bristol Parkway was ultimately delayed by nearly 45 minutes, thus meaning that I didn’t get home much earlier anyway (in fact, I may still be in transit depending on when this report is posted!): So, that just about wraps up my day at Chessington and this trip down to the southern Merlin parks! I had a really good day at Chessington; it’s not a park I’ve been to much compared to Towers or Thorpe, but there are some really good attractions! My favourite in the park is definitely Vampire, but there are some other fun bits too and I do have to say that there’s a wider range of non-coaster attractions than there is at Alton or Thorpe, if that’s important to you. If I were to say what they should get more of, I would say that they could do with additional headline ride capacity, and I do think Minecraft could be a step in the right direction. The coaster looks very good, and if it’s anything like Uncharted, it should ride pretty well too! I shall definitely be back to ride it in 2027! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report, and the series of reports from this week! I think I’m unlikely to visit another park in 2026, so I shall likely see you all in 2027 trip reports-wise; after a somewhat quiet 2025, 2026 has been a terrific return to form for me, so I hope that 2027 maintains the momentum!

24th September 2026: Thorpe Park After my trip to Alton Towers earlier in the week, I headed out for my second trip of the week today, heading out to the London area to visit Thorpe Park and Chessington! Today, I spent the day in Thorpe Park; I couldn’t wait to get back to the UK’s most thrilling theme park for the first time since May and get back on some of my favourite attractions, particularly Hyperia! My day started early, with me leaving home at before 6:30am to make an early train from Bristol Parkway. I changed at Reading to get to Staines for just before 9:30am, and everything ran to time: I then caught an Uber to Thorpe Park from Staines railway station, and this was a little bit interesting! After hailing the Uber, I initially stared at my phone for about 5 minutes watching helplessly as my Uber driver seemingly struggled to find Staines railway station and couldn’t make up his mind as to where he was, and then when we got to Thorpe Park, I didn’t pay attention in time to realise that he’d driven into the regular car park rather than the drop off zone and seemed very confused, eventually just randomly stopping in the middle of the car park and letting me out… and to top things off, he didn’t seem to know what Thorpe Park was and asked me “Wow, are they selling cars here or something? Have you come to buy a car?” when we arrived and saw all the cars in the car park… I’ve been taken to theme parks by a lot of Uber drivers over the years, and I’ve never had that before! Anyway, I eventually got into Thorpe for around 9:50am, so still had plenty of time to get in and wait for opening time: Upon the park opening, I was initially going to head to Colossus, but it was closed, so I instead decided to head for… Saw: The Ride Saw was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to start my day there instead. I went through the single rider queue, but as it turns out, this wasn’t explicitly necessary as there was no one else waiting in the station and I was batched onto what was seemingly the second dual dispatch of the day! So, how was it? Well, Saw has grown on me somewhat since I first rode it; I do like some of the airtime on there! However, it’s a little bit too much on the rough side to be one of my absolute favourites; while it wasn’t running too badly today all things considered, I would prefer it a little smoother: After I got off Saw, I decided to head to a favourite of mine… Hyperia Hyperia was on an advertised 40 minute queue time, but from previous experience, the single rider queue is very often quiet in the morning, so I decided to have a go at using that today. This proved a prudent choice, as single rider only took 5 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 9, and I have to say that it was absolutely sublime! Some of the airtime on there is absolutely wonderful; the first drop is my particular highlight, but I would have to say that the outer bank is also up there, and to be honest, every element on the ride provides absolutely fantastic sustained negative g’s! I also love the sense of speed, but also how smooth and comfortable the ride remains while being superbly thrilling! Hyperia definitely deserves the title of my favourite UK coaster, and I think it’s a wonderful testament to how far coaster technology has come in recent years: After getting off Hyperia, I decided to take advantage of the short single rider queue and go for another ride. I once again only waited 5 minutes, which I can never quibble with, and I had an excellent row 3 ride this time! I can never decide if I prefer Hyperia in the front or the back of the train; I feel like the back offers the fuller effect of that first drop, but the front offers stronger forces in some of the hangtime elements, particularly the big outerbank! After my reride on Hyperia, I headed to my original planned destination at the start of the day… Colossus Colossus was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I’d intended to do it at the start of the day, I decided to strike while the iron was hot and join the shorter advertised queue. The queue ended up taking more like 20 minutes in actuality, but given I’ve waited 2 hours for Colossus later in the day in the past, this wasn’t as long as I have waited for it! So, how was it? Well, I was seated in row 13, and while the ride had been growing on me somewhat over the years, this was probably the worst ride I’ve had on it in a good bit of time. It seemed rougher than it has been in a good bit of time, but more than ever, I also found myself resenting those restraints. They really do feel as though they cut off all circulation to your legs, and it makes it very uncomfortable. It’s a shame; the first half is actually very good, even if the second half still isn’t to my personal taste, and Sik up at Flamingo Land arguably proves how much difference better restraints make to this layout: After Colossus, I headed over to the other side of the park to ride… Stealth Stealth was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t ridden it yet, I decided to take a ride on there. The 30 minute queue time ended up being more like 15, which I can never moan too much about; I often find Stealth’s queue is shorter than you might expect! So, how was the ride? Well, I do always love a ride on Stealth; the launch is incredible (even more so when as the operator reminded us, the ride is now the world’s fastest accelerating coaster!), and the top hat and the sustained airtime that offers definitely adds a bit of additional impact compared to riding Rita earlier in the week! I will say, though, that the restraints on this do impede it compared to Red Force; while the launch on that one isn’t as strong, I remember the lap bars making the airtime a bit more comfortable, and while I did always say that I’d take Stealth over Red Force due to the launch, the restraints make me less sure. If we could combine the launch acceleration of Stealth with the size and restraints of Red Force, we really would have the ultimate Intamin Accelerator Coaster!: After getting off Stealth, I headed around the corner to ride… Nemesis Inferno Nemesis Inferno was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t yet ridden it today, I decided to give it a ride. The 30 minute queue time ended up being 55, but this was due to a breakdown that saw the ride shut for quite a period of time. Before this, I must say that the operations on here were absolutely superb and probably some of the best I’ve ever seen on the ride; in the 5 readings I was able to get, the throughput averaged nearly 1,200pph, and dispatch intervals as quick as 80s or less were being logged. It was a brilliantly efficient operation, and minimal to no stacking was the name of the game; great job, team! But how was the ride itself? Well, poor old Inferno always gets relegated to being a bit “less than” compared to the original Nemesis at Alton Towers, but every time I personally ride it, I always think it’s a fantastic ride in its own right and offers the Alton original tougher competition than I expect! Today, it was running superbly; it was smooth and it had cracking forces and speed, so what’s not to like? While it lacks the unique layout design and terrain of the original Nemesis, I always find Inferno to deliver more potently than you’d expect, and I thoroughly enjoyed it today: After Nemesis Inferno, I ate my lunch in the Launch Pad, the new “attraction” for 2026, before heading to my final unridden thrill coaster for the day… The Swarm The Swarm was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so I decided to take advantage of this and take a ride. The 10 minute queue time was perfectly accurate and took exactly 10 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I’ve always had a soft spot for The Swarm, and today was no exception! I love the sense of speed on there, and I also love the hangtime provided by some of the floaty inversions; the final roll in particular is difficult to beat! While it’s not my #1 coaster anymore as it was back in the day, I still absolutely love it and it’s not difficult to see why I rated it so much: After getting off The Swarm, I headed for my first flat ride of the day… Detonator Detonator was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to take advantage and have a go on it! The 5 minute queue ended up being slightly longer than advertised, taking 10 minutes, but as that’s still pretty short, I can’t complain too much! So, how was it? Well, as much as I’m not the greatest lover of flat rides in general, I am a drop tower fan, and Detonator is an excellent one! For a tower that’s relatively small, it packs a serious punch; the amount of airtime is superb, and the forces are tough to beat! As someone who loves a drop tower, it’s a definite must ride for me every time I come to Thorpe: After Detonator, I went for another reride on Stealth. I was in row 9, and it was great once again; that launch is brilliant: After Stealth, I went for a reride on Nemesis Inferno. The ride was brilliant once again in row 3, and without any breakdowns stopping proceedings, I got to see those superb operations in full flow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the ride operated like it; they were giving it the whole “this train is ready to leave with or without you” over the tannoy, and the staff were sprinting around the platform: After Nemesis Inferno, I went for another reride on Hyperia, waiting 30 minutes in the single rider queue after seeing a brief technical delay where the ride stopped on the lift hill and the other train stopped on the brake run. The ride itself was sublime once again in row 9: After Hyperia, I went for another brilliant ride on Stealth in row 8; that launch always delivers: After Stealth, I headed for a second go on Detonator. As simple as the ride appears, I can’t get enough of that drop: After Detonator, I headed for another row 6 reride on Nemesis Inferno while the queue was only advertised at 15 minutes and turned out to be 10. It was once again brilliant: After Nemesis Inferno, I headed for another sublime single rider reride on Hyperia. I was in row 2 this time, and my quandary of whether I prefer front or back on Hyperia continues; I always think it’s a sign of a great ride when I struggle to pick a favourite seat on the train: After Hyperia, I closed out my day with not one, but two back-to-back rerides on The Swarm. I was seated in rows 7 and 6 respectively, and both were absolutely superb; I got two nice, loose restraints, meaning that I really floated out of my seat through the inversions!: After those final two rides on Swarm, I left the park, having to dash out a bit more quickly than I’d anticipated after booking an Uber while still in the park and not expecting it to arrive nearly as quickly as it did! To make my way to my next park, I took the train towards London from Staines, which was a first for me. The train up to Clapham Junction was absolutely rammed to the point of almost being overcrowded, but I eventually managed to sit down on the train down to Chessington South. Clapham Junction station was a sight to behold; I’ve never seen a station with so many trains moving around it at once!: After getting out at Chessington South, I took the short walk to Chessington itself, where I checked into the Safari Hotel for the night. I’ve never stayed on-site at Chessington before, but it was only £81 with Blue Light Card discount, so I thought I might as well give it a try! First impressions are that it feels newer than the Alton Towers Hotel, but it’s not as heavily themed; I’d call it more styled. The fact that they still put 2 Freddos on the bunk beds despite me not bringing any children was a fun surprise, though; you’ve always got to love every Brit’s favourite barometer of inflation!: So, that wraps up my day at Thorpe Park! I had a great day; I got on 17 rides, which I would call a respectable tally for a 7-hour park day, and it was great to get back on some of the favourites! Hyperia was as sublime as ever, but some of the other rides like Swarm, Inferno, Detonator and Stealth were also great fun and in general, I always enjoy a visit to Thorpe! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Join me tomorrow for a report from Chessington; that one should be a little more different, as it’ll be my first visit to Chessington since 2023 and only my second within the last decade!

22nd September 2026: Alton Towers Day 2 I had another day in the park today! I was looking forward to getting back in and doing some rerides on my favourites, as well as maybe 1 or 2 things I didn’t do yesterday! After my night in the Alton Towers Hotel, I checked out and left the hotel at 8:30am or so, making my way to the turnstiles for just before 9am. I had forgotten that the turnstiles now don’t open until 9:30am, but even still, I entered in plenty of time to get to my first ride early: As always with my Alton Towers visits, I decided to start at the back of the park… Rita Very few people head towards Rita at the start of the day, so as always, I decided to head straight there. Only two people were in front of me, one of whom was DigitalDan, who I understand was riding Rita many times for charity! So, how was Rita? Well, I was once again sat in row 3, and I have to say that it was a very good ride! That launch always delivers, and there are some brilliant airtime moments and bursts of speed too! I do think Rita is overhated among enthusiasts; people always seem very eager for it to be removed, but I still think it holds its own and would be sad to see it go: After getting off Rita, I headed to the one major coaster I didn’t ride yesterday… Thirteen Thirteen was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t ridden it yesterday, I decided to give it a go. The queue time advertisement was very accurate, so much so that I walked straight into the station and it was so quiet that we had to wait for more people to fill the train! So, how was Thirteen? Well, I was seated in row 3, and it was really good fun! While the outdoor section isn’t the most intense on there, it has some fun twists and turns and pops of airtime, and I do always love the indoor section with the drop track and backwards section: After getting off Thirteen, I headed for a reride on a favourite of mine from yesterday… Oblivion Oblivion was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. The queue only took 10 minutes, which I can never moan too much about! So, how was the ride? Well, as with yesterday, it was absolutely superb, with great airtime, a smooth ride experience and a phenomenal sense of speed at the bottom of the drop! I also have to say that the mist is firing out nicely at the moment; I’ve been absolutely pummelled with mist on every ride I’ve had this year!: After getting off Oblivion, I headed to the other coaster in the area… The Smiler The Smiler was on an advertised 10 minute queue, but I once again decided to give single rider a go. Despite the short advertised time, this proved a prudent choice, as I was batched straight into the front row; I can’t quibble with that! So, how was it? Well, I have to say that once again, the ride was running pretty well; it’s never an absolute favourite of mine, but it was providing good forces and speed and wasn’t overly rough either: After getting off The Smiler, I headed for another very quick single rider queue ride… Spinball Whizzer Spinball was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, but I could see that single rider was empty, so I decided to take a ride on there as I was walking by. I got batched pretty much straight into a car, which I can never moan about! So, how was it? Well, it was enjoyable enough, but I have to admit that it was running quite rough today: After I got off Spinball, I headed for a reride on another favourite of mine… Wicker Man Wicker Man was on an advertised 15 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there. As advertised, the queue took around 15 minutes, but they seemed to be struggling to batch the pre-show in time to fill the trains; it was running 3 trains, but the operations were bizarrely struggling and you had times where an empty train was sat waiting in the station with no one to board it and the staff were desperately trying to hurry people onto the train. So, how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 3, and even though I was sat closer to the front, the ride was still absolutely brilliant; you still feel the speed and airtime even at the front!: After getting off Wicker Man, I headed straight back round for another reride while the queue was short. I was in row 11 this time, which was a much better placement! After my two excellent rides on Wicker Man, I headed further round the park to reride another classic… Runaway Mine Train Runaway Mine Train was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride. The queue was in fact overstated, as I walked straight into row 9; that’s always a bonus! So, how was it? Well, as with yesterday, it was great fun and put a smile on my face; parts of it are surprisingly thrilling, and I think the ride as a whole punches above its weight for a powered coaster: After getting off Runaway Mine Train, I headed into Forbidden Valley to ride another favourite… Nemesis Nemesis was on an advertised 30 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride. From afar, the queue was only curving around the final curve of the queue line, so I thought 30 minutes looked wildly overstated… but this unfortunately turned out to be pretty accurate, because it became apparent that the ride was only running 1 train. This was disappointing to see, particularly as the ride was running 2 trains yesterday and the queue today was 30 minutes, which isn’t insignificant. But enough about the operations; how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 3, and as with yesterday, the ride was running brilliantly, with an awesome sense of speed and intense forces without being too intense: After getting off Nemesis, I headed to another ride I didn’t do yesterday… Toxicator Toxicator had just reopened from a breakdown and was resultantly walk-on, so as I had only done it once previously in 2025, I decided to give it another try. I had not remembered taking to it at all in 2025, but was interested to see if I’d been too harsh. So, how was it? Well, I sadly hadn’t been too harsh in 2025, as the ride was every bit as vile as I’d remembered if not worse. I’m just not an enormous fan of flat rides in general, and this one has a lot of sustained hangtime which I find nauseating, as well as some horribly intense back to back flips that I just find myself clinging on through and waiting for them to end. As an aside; does it mean anything if the “program” is now different? I seem to remember it being “program alpha”, but today, it said “program beta”: After getting off Toxicator, I headed for a quick dark ride break… The Curse at Alton Manor Alton Manor was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so I decided to ride it as I was walking by. I walked straight on, which I can never moan about! So, how was it? Well, as with yesterday, it was a very nice atmospheric ride, and very nice for a quick sit down; even if the Trommel remains broken, there’s lots to look at and see on there: After getting off Alton Manor, I got some lunch, timing the throughput of Wicker Man as I ate, and then went for a reride on Wicker Man. I was in the front row this time, for the first time in about 5 years, and it was certainly a great ride up front, even if the back remains my definite preference on Wicker Man: After that, I went for not one, but two back-to-back rerides on Oblivion, as it was on a 5 minute queue. These were once again fantastic!: I then used the single rider queue to go for a fun reride on Thirteen. I was seated in row 6 this time, and it was just as fun as earlier, with perhaps a bit more pull being on the back! After that, I went for another reride on The Smiler. I was quickly batched into row 3 via the single rider queue, and this was perhaps the best Smiler ride of the trip; it ran very well all trip, and I have gained some new appreciation for it: I then went for two further rerides on Oblivion on a short queue, which were once again fantastic: Finally, I closed out the day and the trip with another fantastic reride on Wicker Man in row 6: I then left the park and headed back home after an excellent trip. So, that wraps up my second day at Alton Towers, and this September 2026 trip to Alton Towers! I’ve had an excellent trip; it was great to get back to the park for the first time since April, and it was also great to stay on site again! Rides-wise, my highlight was as always Wicker Man, my favourite coaster on park, but I rode lots of other great rides too! Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this report, and yesterday’s too! I’ll be coming back at you later in the week with trip reports from Thorpe Park and Chessington on Thursday and Friday, so keep your eyes peeled!

21st September 2026: Alton Towers Day 1 With me having been back at work for over 2 months and it having been close to 3 months since I last visited a theme park (DLP was all the way back at the start of July!), I fancied a trip. And with me still holding a Merlin pass until the end of November and me not having done a Merlin visit since Thorpe Park in May, what better than a trip back to Alton Towers, which I last visited in April? Having noticed that I could get a bed and breakfast hotel room on-site for only a little over £100 with a Blue Light Card discount, I thought this would hit the spot nicely! I left my home at 6:30am this morning and reached Uttoxeter at around 10:15am, having changed in Cheltenham and Stoke on the way up: After hailing an Uber from Uttoxeter railway station, I arrived at Alton Towers at around 11am: I feared the worst in terms of potential crowds when I followed in what looked like an enormous school group, so attempting to get ahead of them, I decided to head to… Oblivion Oblivion was on an advertised 10 minute queue. It looked a good bit longer than this, though, so I decided to join the single rider queue. This took 20 minutes compared to the advertised 10, but I would hazard that the main queue was longer than 10 minutes and this was still a net gain, likely in no small part due to the one station operations resulting in a throughput lower than 500pph. Anyway, how was the ride? Well, I do love Oblivion, and today was no exception! The airtime was great, the speed was brilliant, and I also enjoyed having the longer hold back on the drop after years of it seemingly just staggering you rather than properly holding: After getting off Oblivion, I headed to the other coaster in the area… The Smiler The Smiler was on an advertised 25 minute queue, so I decided to give it a go in single rider. Single rider proved to be very fruitful on this occasion, with me being batched into row 1 within 5-10 minutes of joining the queue; I can never moan too much about that! So, how was it? Well, Smiler isn’t an absolute favourite of mine for a litany of reasons, but I have to admit that it was running quite well up front today; it’s probably one of the better rides I’ve had on it in a while! It wasn’t too rough at all, and there were also some quite nice forces, even if the heavy inversion focus isn’t entirely my thing; is it mad for me to say that my two favourite bits of the layout are probably the two airtime hills? It sounds insane for a ride with 14 inversions, but that second airtime hill in particular is absolutely nuts!: After getting off Smiler, I headed to my potentially controversial favourite ride on park… Wicker Man Wicker Man was on an advertised 20 minute queue, so as it’s my favourite coaster on park and I’d honestly say that it’s the one ride a visit to Alton wouldn’t be complete without riding for me, I decided to give it a ride. The queue actually ended up being merely 10 minutes, with me barely queueing past the baggage hold; I can never quibble with that! So, how was the ride? Well, I struck lucky and got assigned row 12, and it was absolutely phenomenal; I love Wicker Man, and today was no exception! The ops seemed to be quite tolerant of a looser lap bar today, which meant that there were multiple areas of the ride where I absolutely flew out of my seat with surprisingly strong air! The drop out of the “boring corner” and succeeding airtime hill are always a highlight, but one surprising area today was actually the very first drop after the lift hill; despite it looking quite modest, it offers a surprising jolt of airtime on the back! As well as that, the ride had all the usual great speed, fun laterals and just that general way of making me laugh like crazy! And to be frank, the latter is why it remains quite easily my favourite coaster at Alton Towers (yes, even ahead of Nemesis!), my 2nd favourite coaster in the UK, my 2nd favourite woodie behind Wodan and still in my top 10 even over 160 coasters in and having been to the likes of Florida, Europa Park, PortAventura and Parc Astérix; I will not claim and have never claimed that Wicker Man is the most face-meltingly intense coaster I’ve ever ridden, but it punches above its weight enormously for thrills and is definitely among the most purely fun coasters I’ve ridden. It never fails to plaster a huge smile on my face and make me laugh relentlessly, and that’s what keeps me coming back to it time after time: After I got off, the queue was even shorter than before, so I decided to head back round for not one, but two back-to-back rerides! The first was in row 6, but for the second, I got row 12, and both were sensational once again! After three rides in a row on Wicker Man, I decided it was time for a little change, so I headed over to a different favourite… Nemesis Like Wicker Man, Nemesis is one of those rides I can’t come to Alton Towers and not ride if it’s open, so as it was on only a 15 minute advertised queue time, I had to give it a go! As it turned out, the 15 minute advertised queue time was overstated, with me only waiting 5 minutes; that’s always a bonus! So, how was the ride? Well, I was interested to get back on Nemesis having crowned a new favourite B&M invert in OzIris at Parc Astérix back in June, and while Nemesis is certainly no OzIris in my opinion (come at me!), it is still a great ride in its own right, and I thoroughly enjoyed my ride in row 4! I always love that starting section of the ride, with the deceptively fast first drop, corkscrew, amazing downwards helix and zero-g roll making for an absolutely superb sequence of elements, and the general layout design is brilliantly unique! Nemesis may not be my top dog at Alton Towers or my top B&M invert anymore, but it will always hold a special place in my heart and it’s still my most ridden coaster of all time for very good reason! As an aside; I am continually flummoxed by all the whining about the rattle, even as someone whose roughness tolerance is not amazingly high. Based on vlogs and general enthusiast discourse, you’d think Nemesis now rode like an SLC, but I have ridden the retracked variant a number of times now and have found the rattle almost entirely benign on every go; if I wasn’t in tune with enthusiast circles, I think I’d hardly notice it: After getting off Nemesis, I sat and ate my packed lunch before noticing that the area’s other coaster had reopened from a temporary delay… Galactica Galactica was on an advertised 25 minute queue, but I decided to give the single rider queue a try, as I didn’t ride it on my last visit back in April if I recall correctly. Single rider proved to be a prudent choice, as I only waited 10 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was Galactica? Well, I was seated in row 7, and today’s ride underscored to me how Galactica has been one of the most unfortunate casualties of my changing tastes over the years. There was a time where I really quite liked Galactica and would put it quite highly in my rankings (I seem to remember doing Alton coaster rankings in the past where I had the gall to put it ahead of Nemesis and/or Oblivion)… but these days, I really don’t rate it and of the non-CBeebies coasters in Alton, it’s quite comfortably my least favourite and the one I’d care about the least if it was removed. I didn’t enjoy it much at all today, and that’s because I just find the thing incredibly uncomfortable; it’s not particularly rough or anything, but resting your whole weight on your front in the prone restraint style is just awkward and painful. My tastes have gradually erred towards sit-down coasters with more open and free restraint styles, and Galactica isn’t that at all, which has naturally made it suffer. As an aside, I did have an odd thought while riding through the on-your-back portion; I wonder why no one has ever done a fully led down coaster? I’m not sure it would be any less comfortable than a regular flyer, and the Vekoma Flying Dutchman coasters got halfway there with their loading setups and lift hills…: After getting off Galactica, I went for another reride on Nemesis on a short queue. I was in row 7 this time, and it was once again brilliant!: After getting off Nemesis, I headed out of Forbidden Valley back towards the rest of the park, taking a brief dark ride break on the way… The Curse at Alton Manor Alton Manor was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I was walking by, I thought it would be rude not to give it a ride! As per usual, I ended up walking straight onto it, which I can never moan too much about! So, how was it? Well, I have grown to like Alton Manor, and I feel like I notice new details in it every time I ride it; compared to the hotch potch that was Duel, it’s an incredibly cohesive and well done experience! As much as I’m not a great horror fan, the level of horror in Alton Manor is also at about my enjoyable tolerance level; even as someone who doesn’t do scary things, I can ride it and enjoy it. That Trommel Tunnel is eternally going to disappoint me, though; I remember riding Alton Manor in 2023 and thinking that the reinstated Trommel was brilliant and one of the best effects in the ride, but I’ve hardly seen it functional since and today was sadly no exception: After getting off Alton Manor, I went to frequent a coaster I hadn’t yet ridden this season… Runaway Mine Train Runaway Mine Train hadn’t yet been open on any of my visits this season prior to today, so as I hadn’t yet ridden it in 2026 and it was only on an advertised 5 minute queue, I decided to give it a go. Mercifully, the advertised 5 minute queue time was broadly accurate, as I only waited one cycle before taking my seat in row 2. So, how was it? Well, I’ve always had a soft spot for the Runaway Mine Train, and not just because it was only the 3rd coaster I ever rode and I’ve been riding it for 17 years now, since all the way back when I was 6! For a family coaster, I really do think the ride punches above its weight; the two downward helixes in the latter half of the layout are really quite punchy! The ride, and Katanga Canyon as a whole, does lack a bit of atmosphere with the rapids being closed, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the coaster itself always puts a smile on my face: After Runaway Mine Train, I went for another ride on Wicker Man. It was once again absolutely phenomenal fun, in large part because for the 3rd time today, I was allocated row 12! I’ve never been so lucky with Wicker Man seat allocations in one day; given that I’ve ridden the ride countless times and only ever had row 12 twice prior to today, I feel incredibly lucky to have scored it three times in one day today!: After getting off Wicker Man, I noticed that a certain coaster credit I was missing was on only a 10 minute queue… Bluey the Ride: Here come the Grannies! Bluey was on an advertised 10 minute queue time, so as I felt that was an eventuality that likely doesn’t occur very often, I decided to grow a pair of balls and nab the credit! I don’t typically ride kiddie coasters (although with that said, I don’t know how true that is any more… even though I keep saying it, I’ve done a good few in 2026!), and even though I attended Alton Towers on the opening day of Bluey earlier in the year, I did not partake in a ride as I felt that queueing 90-150 minutes for a kiddie coaster when bigger rides are on 30 minutes or less was a nadir I didn’t want to stoop to. But today, I saw that 10 minute advertised queue time and seized the opportunity, as I decided I would quite like to regain the clean sweep of Alton Towers coaster credits and I’ve ridden much more questionable coasters than Bluey in terms of scale! The 10 minute advertised queue time was overstated, with the queue taking only around 5 minutes; I can never complain about that for a quick kiddie cred grab! So, how was Bluey? Well, I was seated in row 11, and for what it is, I have to say that I thought it was quite a neat little ride! I was never going to come off it absolutely blown away, but for what it is, I think it’s a solid step up from Octonauts in scale and thrill level and it is surprisingly punchy in areas! It’s also very smooth; definitely the smoothest of these Zierer Force models I’ve ridden! For what the ride is, I’m pleased with it and I’m less sceptical than I was when it was being built; it’s a solid level above Octonauts and works well! The music is a bit irritating, but I think that has more to do with me not being the target audience and with me, even at only 23, being far too old to ever have watched Bluey: After getting off Bluey, I headed out of CBeebies Land to another nearby coaster that I hadn’t ridden yet… Spinball Whizzer Spinball was on an advertised 25 minute queue, but single rider looked short, so I decided to take a ride on there. My instincts proved correct, as I was on the ride within 5 minutes; Spinball is definitely one of the best SRQ rides, in my opinion! So, how was the ride? Well, I’m not a die-hard fan of spinning coasters, so while fun enough, Spinball is never something I’m going to go absolutely mad for. It’s not a bad ride, but I do find it a little bit sickly and a little bit rough; I tend to be more partial to spinners when they’re smoother and spin a teensy bit less, like Storm Chaser at Paultons. With all that said, it’s still a fun coaster and I think I have been too harsh on it in the past: After Spinball, I headed for a reride on Oblivion. The single rider queue was closed, but the main queue, advertised at 15, only took 5 minutes, and the ride was once again excellent: After Oblivion, I headed to the other side of the ruins to ride… Rita Rita was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t ridden it yet today, I decided to take a ride on there. I initially thought the 30 minutes was likely overstated, but I then realised that this wasn’t the case and the queue did indeed take 30-35 minutes as promised, in no small part due to the ride being on 1 train and attaining a throughput of under 400pph… but how was the ride itself? Well, even though the restraints aren’t the best, I do really like Rita! I was sat in row 3, and while the hydraulic launch is obviously the highlight, the ride also has some excellent pops of ejector air and moments of speed. It’ll be a sad day if or when these hydraulic launches go; there really is nothing else like them: After Rita, I was going to head to Thirteen, but the ride was closed following a breakdown, so I instead rode… Hex Hex was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so I decided to give it a go. The advertised queue was if anything overstated, with me walking straight into the first pre-show room. I was also one of only 4 people on my cycle of Hex, which made the experience quite bizarre; not quite up there with when I rode The Haunting at Drayton Manor alone, but not far behind! So, how was the experience? Well, I’ve always liked Hex for the drama and theatre of the whole thing, as well as the excellent atmosphere, and the pre-shows and on-ride theming delivered on this wonderfully. However… I’ll admit that I’m growing less keen on the ride aspect of these Madhouses, as they are a little bit sickly. Hex is one of those experiences where I ride it for the pre-shows almost as much as for the actual ride, if not more, and that’s becoming more the case as time goes on!: After getting off Hex, I headed for one final ride on Wicker Man to close out the day. I was in row 10, and it was absolutely superb: By that point, it was past 5pm, so it was time to leave the park and head back to the hotel. It has been nice staying on-site again, and check-in was very easy, but the tight part of me did cry slightly paying over £40 for a two-course meal and two soft drinks this evening: So, that closes out the first day of this Alton Towers trip! I had a great day; I got on 17 rides in total, and I was thrilled to get on every coaster in the park bar Thirteen and Octonauts, along with rerides on some of the favourites! I will say that it maybe wasn’t the park’s greatest day operationally, with a number of rides on reduced capacity, but in fairness, I don’t think it necessarily needed to be; queues weren’t excessively long at any point. Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Keep your eyes peeled for a trip report from my second day on park tomorrow!

2nd July 2026: Disneyland Paris After a successful trip to Parc Astérix on Monday and trips in between to Paris and Versailles, we headed to another theme park (well, duo of theme parks) today; we visited Disneyland Paris! Now unlike Parc Astérix on Monday, I had visited Disneyland Paris prior to today, but this was over 15 years ago, so my memories of it were quite vague. I was also under 8 years old on my first visit, so there were also numerous attractions that I was either too short to ride, too scared to ride or both on my first visit, so I was excited to experience some of these, as well as attractions I’d remembered from my first visit! And it’s also been over 7 years since I’ve been to a Disney park full stop, so it was interesting to visit some Disney parks again! Now, I should say before I get into this report that we did only spend 1 day across both parks, so this was very much a flying visit and our visit plan was designed around key highlights and things we hadn’t done previously in either Paris or Orlando. I’m aware that this is not really how Disney is designed to be visited, so the report should be taken with this in mind. Anticipating that the roads could be busy and wanting to start early, we headed out of our house at around 8:15am, arriving at Disneyland Paris just after 9am in time for the 9:30am opening and starting our day in Disneyland Park: Upon entering the park, we decided to start on a key memorable highlight of our previous visit… Big Thunder Mountain Big Thunder Mountain was on an advertised 55 minute queue time, so as it had been a key memorable attraction from our previous visit to Disneyland Paris, we decided to have a ride on there to start our day. The 55 minute advertised queue time ended up being overstated, with us getting on within 40 minutes after a relatively fast queue; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, 8 year old me had this ride down as being the absolute best thing ever, so naturally as someone who has now ridden far more coasters, I did not expect it to live up to my childhood memories and I did not hold the same view as I did in 2011, but it was still a very good fun family coaster nonetheless! I was sat in row 3, and as you’d expect, it was along much the same lines as its equivalent in Florida; very much a pink-knuckle ride, with not too much going on in terms of intensity, but offering a really good, fun experience with some fun twists and turns, areas of mild speed and tickles where it threatens airtime. As family mine train coasters go, I do think it’s a strong example; I would perhaps place it slightly higher than the Florida version, but not notably so. All in all, then, Thunder Mountain was an enjoyable way to start the day and it was very nice to get back on there after 15 years; we certainly all enjoyed ourselves, although my mum did comment that 15 years and many more thrilling coasters ridden had “ruined good, fun rides like that for [her]”: After Thunder Mountain, me, my mum and my dad headed to another ride in the area that we hadn’t previously ridden… Phantom Manor Phantom Manor was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as none of us had ever done it previously, we decided to take a ride on there. We pretty much walked straight into the stretching room, so pleasingly, the queue time was short as promised; in a park like Disney, it’s never a bad thing to have a 5 minute queue! For context, I hadn’t ridden Phantom Manor previously because me and my sister were both scaredy cat children and wouldn’t ride it when we were 8 and 10 respectively, so it was interesting to get on it today. My sister still wouldn’t ride it today, as she doesn’t go for loud noises and scary things. So, how was it? Well, having ridden Haunted Mansion in Orlando 7 years ago, I was interested to see how Phantom Manor compared, and I would say that similarly, it was quite a nice ride with lots to look at and some nice scenes, and it did seem a little bit more polished and story-driven than Florida’s version. The stretching room pre-show also seemed more impressive than Florida’s, and both my parents said this was the most remarkable bit of the attraction for them. It’s a fairly gentle affair, with nothing too scary for the faint of heart (I.e. me!), and I thought it was quite a nice ride overall, if not a top, top dark ride for me, although my dad thought it was “dull”: After getting off Phantom Manor, we met back up with my sister and moved to Adventureland to complete our next unridden attraction… Indiana Jones et le Temple du Peril Indiana Jones was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so as none of us had ridden it previously, we decided to give it a go. My sister and I were too small to ride it on our previous visit 15 years ago, so we were all interested to try it, and the queue took 20-25 minutes as advertised, so none of us could complain! So, how was it? Well, I was seated in row 5, and we sadly didn’t miss much on our first visit, as this was absolutely terrible! The ride had very old-fashioned OTSRs and seemed to bash your head around horribly whenever it turned faster than about 10mph, but to make matters worse, I didn’t even think the layout was anything that interesting; it felt like there was basically a loop and an awful lot of filler around it, with multiple very dead sections. All in all, I was glad to have ticked off Indiana Jones, but I don’t think any of us would lose sleep if we didn’t go back on it any time soon: After Indiana Jones, my plan originally put Pirates of the Caribbean on the agenda, but it was unfortunately closed for maintenance, so at my mum’s request, we instead headed into Fantasyland to ride a different dark boat ride… It’s a Small World It’s a Small World was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so as it’s a quintessential classic Disney attraction, we decided to have a ride on there. As we were boarding, it looked as though many people were watching the parade, so we managed to pretty much walk on the ride; I can never moan about that! So, how was it? Well, I had previously ridden the version in Orlando and found it delightfully twee, and I had similar thoughts here. As much as it might not be anything intense or earth-shattering, there is something strangely enjoyable about riding through rooms of animatronics singing and dancing in different languages… it’s a nice, gentle little ride that we all enjoyed! My dad also thought it looked a bit newer and more polished than the Orlando equivalent, which I agreed with: After getting off It’s a Small World, we took a walk around Fantasyland and the Sleeping Beauty gallery in the castle before heading into Discoveryland to ride our final unridden coaster in Disneyland Park… Star Wars Hyperspace Mountain Hyperspace Mountain was on an advertised 50 minute queue, so as none of us had ever ridden it before, we decided to take a ride. I was too small to ride it in 2011, and my noise-phobic sister bailed out as a child upon seeing that the ride launched out of a cannon, so it was new to all 4 of us! The queue was broadly accurate, with us waiting 55 minutes to ride, but might I just say that Hyperspace Mountain might be the most half-hearted retheme I’ve ever seen. The ride is supposedly themed to Star Wars, but externally and pre-ride, it’s very much still Jules Verne-themed aside from a few flags and stickers in the queue (which was also surprisingly bland in general given how beautiful and detailed the building exterior is… was it originally better?). Internally, it’s better, with a bit of Star Wars music and audio and some screens making the theme more convincing, but even then, I definitely saw plenty of calling cards of Jules Verne left in there… I’m no die-hard nostalgic, but I feel like the ride must surely be crying out for a return to a Jules Verne theme at some point! But that’s enough about the theme; how was the ride itself? Well, I was intrigued to try the French Space Mountain because while I’d ridden the version in Orlando, that is a lot tamer whereas Paris’ version is a proper launched thrill ride closer to Rock’n’Rollercoaster in style. I was sat in row 9, and I have to say that I did find it a more impressive ride than its Floridian counterpart, with a fun launch and some good speed and inversions, but it definitely isn’t the smoothest of things! The vest restraints make it less uncomfortable than it might have been, and it was hardly brain-melting to the extent of, say, Goudurix, but it was definitely a little bit on the rougher side in places, which did require some defensive riding when combined with the darkness. Even still, it was a fun coaster and I’m glad to have ridden it, even if Thunder Mountain is perhaps still my preferred coaster within Disneyland Park: After getting off Hyperspace Mountain, we ended our time in Disneyland Park for the day, heading out for lunch in Disney Village to break up our day: After lunch, we began the second stage of our day with a visit to Disney Adventure World, which was the more drastically altered park compared to our previous visit: Upon entering Adventure World, I had originally planned for us to start on Tower of Terror, but the queue times in Avengers Campus were looking more favourable, so we instead decided to start on… Spider-Man WEB Adventure Spider-Man was on an advertised 35 minute queue, so as it was a new ride since our previous visit, we decided to give it a whirl. This proved to be a grave error, as the queue time was grossly underestimated and we ended up waiting 75 minutes in what must have been one of the slowest-feeling queues I’ve waited in for some time. I’m not sure what made it so slow, but it seemed to take forever, perhaps not helped by the queue not being the most interesting by Disney standards, with it mostly consisting of painted walls and cattle pens! So, how was the ride after our unexpectedly long wait? Well, I thought it was quite good fun; the shooting technology is quite novel, the 3D was good, and while the ride is mostly screen-based, the novelty of the shooting tech makes for an interesting ride! It’s not a patch on the superb Spider-Man dark ride in Universal Orlando for me, and it perhaps wasn’t worth a 75 minute wait, but similarly to Ninjago at Legoland, I thought it was a fun dark ride with clever shooting technology and good 3D: After getting off Spider-Man, we headed for the other ride in Avengers Campus… Avengers Assemble: Flight Force Flight Force was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so me, my dad and my sister decided to take a ride. Now of all the rides on offer at Disneyland Paris, this was the one I was most insistent on riding at some point during the day, and there’s a bit of a personal backstory behind that. On my visit 15 years ago, I was tall enough to ride Rock’n’Rollercoaster (as it was then known, and as I kept repeatedly calling it today!), but I refused to ride because a classmate of mine at primary school told me that it gave him tummy ache after he rode it… so I didn’t ride it all trip and I’ve been slightly bitter about that missed coaster ever since, particularly after my family told me about how brilliant it was! I later managed to ride the Orlando version some 8 years later, but I’ve always been keen to return to Disneyland Paris and redeem that missed coaster credit, so I was insistent that I wouldn’t leave the resort today without riding it! The queue for this took 35-40 minutes, and I have to say that it was a somewhat more interesting queue than that for Spider-Man, with some videos and a pre-show with a very cool Iron Man animatronic! So, how did Flight Force stack up after 15 years of regretting not riding it? Did the experience live up to the personal thrill of finally redeeming my 8 year old self and (indirectly) giving my primary school classmate his comeuppance? Well, I remembered the Orlando version of this coaster being a really decent coaster in 2019, and this was decent as well; it’s probably my personal favourite Disney coaster! I was seated on the front row, and in terms of some particular highlights; that launch is excellently punchy for an LSM launch and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have said it felt almost like a hydraulic launch, and the ride also carries its speed well and has some good, forceful inversions! As well as this, the ride also isn’t overly rough either, being notably smoother than Hyperspace Mountain earlier in the day, which makes for an enjoyable thrill coaster and a nice headline coaster for the Disney resort overall! All in all, then, I was glad to finally get on Rock’n’Rollercoaster (it’ll always be Rock’n’Rollercoaster to me regardless of the Avengers theme!), and the ride itself was about as good as I’d remembered from Orlando, which was pleasing: After Flight Force, we headed to another new ride that none of us had ridden anywhere previously… Ratatouille Ratatouille was on an advertised 55 minute queue time, so as it was new since our last visit and we also haven’t visited Walt Disney World recently enough to have experienced it in Epcot, we decided to take a ride on there as we were all interested in seeing it. The queue was understated and took around 45 minutes despite being nearly to the ride entrance, which I can never complain about! So, how was it? Well, I thought it was quite an interesting ride! There were some good bits of physical scenery in there, even if the ride is predominantly screen-based, the animation sequences were generally quite good, and the spinning and interaction between the cars was quite a cool touch! They also very much liked the water squirter in there! One thing I did think, though, is that unlike some rides with lengthy movement sequences in front of one screen (I would give Street Mission at PortAventura and Snorri Touren at Europa Park as examples), I thought the screen sequences felt quite static and less like you were believably moving around; I’m not sure whether this was down to reduced car movement or something else, but it was something I noticed. All in all, then, I thought Ratatouille was quite a good, fun dark ride, and I’m glad we got to experience it for the first time: After getting off Ratatouille, it was gone 5:30pm and my family were starting to flag, so I was told I could ride one more attraction. As such, me and my dad went to ride a favourite of mine from Orlando… Tower of Terror Tower of Terror was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, so as I absolutely loved the Florida version and had never done Paris’ before (me and my sister were too scared to ride it in 2011), I was keen to give it a go. The queue time was broadly accurate, with us waiting around 45 minutes for our ride, although we did have an interesting experience upon boarding in that our lift broke down and had to be brought back to the area for a restraint recheck; that was intriguing! So, how was the ride? Well, I loved Tower of Terror in Orlando 7 years ago to the extent where I would have easily declared it my favourite Disney attraction and quite possibly my favourite non-roller coaster attraction full stop, and riding the Paris version reminded me of the brilliance of these rides. They’re still easily Disney’s top rides for me; the unrestricted airtime is absolutely incredible, and the wonderful theming, story and ambience adds quite a unique dimension to the whole experience compared to a regular drop tower! This version, unlike the one in Florida, was also quite interesting in that it had a spooky little girl appearing in each scene and adding comments; that was a nice touch that I wasn’t necessarily expecting! All in all, then, it was great to get on Paris’ Tower of Terror; this attraction really is wonderful, and definitely some of Disney’s finest work, in my view: After getting off Tower of Terror, it was gone 6:30pm and my family were incredibly keen to go home, so we called it a day there and headed out: So, that brings a close to our day at Disneyland Paris! I had a really good day; it was interesting to return to the parks 15 years after my last visit, and despite us not managing the full day, I managed to get on most of what I’d planned to (I had also pencilled in Frozen and Crush’s Coaster in Adventure World, but my family decided it wasn’t an issue not to ride these as we rode Frozen in Orlando and we rode Crush’s Coaster on our last visit 15 years ago), including everything that was new to me! I do think that doing both parks in a day was slightly ambitious, in retrospect, and I acknowledge that I was perhaps unable to give Disney the chance to show its full potential. Rides-wise, my highlight was easily Tower of Terror, but I also enjoyed getting on some of the other rides I’ve never done before, with Flight Force being a key favourite of those, and getting back on things like Thunder Mountain too. In terms of my thoughts on the Paris Disney resort; I thought Disneyland Park was overall a fair amount nicer to walk around than the Magic Kingdom in Orlando, with lots more little details to look at and a general more polished feel, and I also thought that some of the rides were better like-for-like (e.g. Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Phantom Manor). Disney Adventure World was also nicer than I remembered, and some of the new additions are really good. Both parks, particularly Adventure World, are surprisingly thin on rides, and I do think that some new attractions in both would not go amiss. My dad said that “both parks put together were smaller than Parc Astérix on Monday”, and while I’m not sure I agree with that statement, I would agree that neither park is particularly big individually. What I will say Disney does well, though, is making the environment very nice to walk around and be in. Disneyland Park in particular is a supremely pleasant environment with lots to look at, lots of little details and no visual expense spared, and it does make for a pleasant park to be in. I found it much nicer to look at and be in than the Magic Kingdom, which I wasn’t necessarily expecting. The Disney parks do feel very premium and like real “spectacle” parks in the same way as the Disney and Universal resorts in Orlando do. Of the two theme park days we’ve had in France this week, I would argue that our group perhaps got more out of Parc Astérix on Monday, and while you can fairly argue that we perhaps didn’t let Disney show its full potential, I think what it partly boils down to is that Disneyland Paris isn’t really designed for us, and I should probably elaborate a little on what I mean. My dad argued that this is because the parks are pitched primarily at families with young children, but I disagree; I think it’s that they cater more to fans of Disney than fans of theme parks. If you are a die-hard Disney fan and you love all the magic and pixie dust and characters, you’ll absolutely love it, but we are an older group and not absolute die-hard Disney fans, so we maybe feel less of a connection to the product. I’ve long felt similarly about the Disney parks in Orlando; I really like the parks, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t excite me like the Universal parks or some other places do. With all that said, it was fun to return to Disneyland Paris and we had a good day! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! I don’t know when my next theme park trip will be or where it will be to, but I’m sure I’ll go somewhere else before too long, so keep your eyes peeled!

Toutatis’ SRQ was closed when I went to use it in the evening, but Cetautomatix’s was open and excellently advantageous, allowing me to pretty much skip a 45 minute queue! So I found this to be a mixed bag.

29th June 2026: Parc Astérix Today was an exciting day; after months (well, years) of UK park visiting, I had my first foreign park visit since September 2024, and it was to a very exciting park; today was my first ever visit to Parc Astérix in France! I couldn’t wait to get on the rides for the first time, particularly Toutatis! We’re currently staying in a house somewhere broadly between Parc Astérix and Disneyland Paris (that’s coming later in the week), so we left this morning at around 9am and arrived at Parc Astérix just after 9:30am in time for a quick entry into the park ready for rope drop. First impressions were good; it definitely has nicer theming than I was expecting! I had it in my head that it might be a more Busch Gardens Tampa-style affair with relatively minimal theming, but the park is very nicely kept and has some really good theming!: After rope drop at 10am, I initially directed us toward Toutatis. I wanted to get it done early, and my first ride at Astérix was to be my 150th roller coaster, so I also had hopes of continuing my streak of notable milestone coasters after hitting #100 on Iron Gwazi in 2023. Alas, this was not to be, as the ride appeared non-operational and the queue was enormous, so we decided to bail after 15 minutes or so of not moving and start our day elsewhere: After this slight disappointment, we instead started our day on… Trace du Hourra Trace du Hourra was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so as it was right next to Toutatis and open, we decided to take a ride. Pleasingly, the queue was exactly 30 minutes as advertised, and might I also say that I’ve never seen such rapid and mesmerising operations on a ride of this genre (yes, even on Schweizer Bobbahn at Europa Park!). They were frequently whacking trains out at 40-45 second intervals, and I honestly think that my throughput timings of 1,046pph and 1,090pph were somewhat harsh assessments of the situation; the trains were flying out, and there were points where watching it was almost like clockwork. When one train left the lift hill, another was right there ready to go up! It certainly put the 200pph or so Avalanche was getting on my last Blackpool visit to shame, anyhow… so, how was my first Parc Astérix coaster? Well, I quite like a good bobsled coaster, and Trace du Hourra was indeed a fun one! I was sat at the very front, and there were some good bits of speed and some fun twisty sections, and it wasn’t too rattly either! As for how I’d rank it relative to other bobsled coasters; I’d tentatively place it comfortably ahead of Schweizer Bobbahn, but perhaps not quite as highly as Avalanche. While it’s long and picks up some very good speed in areas, there are quite a few block brakes, which means you don’t ever quite amass the continuous feeling of speed that Avalanche offers. All in all, though, Trace du Hourra was a fun start to the day, and a good #150 even if not the one I was perhaps hoping for: After Trace du Hourra, we headed for something slightly bigger and more notable… Oz’Iris Oz’Iris was on an advertised 50 minute queue time, so while the queue was bursting out of the entrance, we decided to trust the queue time board and have a go on there as it was a major ride and a logical place to progress to. I was pleasantly surprised by the indoor queue for this, and once again, the queue time was pleasingly pretty accurate, with us waiting around 55 minutes in a queue that moved quite quickly. I had it in my head that Parc Astérix might have slightly shaky operations, but Oz’Iris was operated well and the queue moved at a very good rate. Oz’Iris also introduced us to a very odd recurring procedure at Parc Astérix; on numerous rides, the park likes you to put your loose articles in a trolley. I’m not sure how I feel about it; it does mean that things move quickly on the platform, but it’s a bit of a faff to rifle around looking for your bag when you get off! Anyhow, how was the actual ride experience? Well, I was interested to ride a new B&M invert, as while it’s one of my most ridden models, I actually haven’t ridden a new one in almost 10 years, and my opinion of the genre has changed a fair amount since then. Having predominantly ridden the two Nemesises (Nemesi?) since 2016, I have to say that my row 7 ride on Oz’Iris was absolutely superb and definitely had me crowning a new favourite B&M invert; it was fantastic, and perhaps controversially, I would say that it quite comfortably exceeded any recent ride I’ve had on either Nemesis (and my increasingly hazy recollections of Montu, my previous top-ranked invert) and I would place the ride within my overall top 15! In terms of what puts it at the top of the B&M invert pile for me; it’s got excellent forces and speed without ever being overbearing, is quite long and is impeccably smooth, but also has a very different and unique layout for a B&M invert. The sequencing is very different to any of the others I’ve ridden and offers a very nice flow, the various twists and overbanks provide some different and fun sensations compared to what you typically find on a B&M invert, it felt like there was more float in the inversions and I even thought I felt an odd little bit of airtime in one section! All in all, then, I loved Oz’Iris and was definitely happy to crown a new top B&M invert; it’s nice to see that a B&M invert still has the capability to surprise me after all this time!: After getting off Oz’Iris, me, my mum and my sister ticked off a much less notable coaster credit in the immediate vicinity… SOS Tournevis SOS Tournevis was seemingly walk-on, so while it wasn’t really a priority for me, I decided to tick it off anyway. The three of us were seated on the ride within 5 minutes, which we can never complain about! Interestingly (and I noticed this on Trace du Hourra as well), the staff member didn’t check our lap bars; they clearly have faith in their ride hardware! So, how was it? Well, I was sat on the back, and it was fun for a small coaster if not earth-shattering, just as the identical Cat-O-Pillar at Paultons Park was last month. These models have a surprising jolt of airtime on the first drop, and this particular example was also hardly braking and sent us flying around the pre-lift turn on the second lap, which was a fun touch! So all in all, then, it was good to get another credit ticked off: After SOS Tournevis, we headed back to a ride we’d just passed… Cetautomatix Cetautomatix was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, but as my family were not keen on doing a spinning coaster, I decided to take advantage of a secret weapon… the single rider queue! With it being such a frequent asset in the UK, I took a gamble on French single rider… and this proved to be a prudent gamble, as I was batched straight into a pre-boarding queue with a French family of 3 and waited no more than 5 minutes to board; I can’t possibly moan about that! Once again, the operations were phenomenally slick on here, with a non-stop conveyor belt of cars and routine 20-second dispatches; excellent work! So, how was the ride? Well, I’d never ridden a Gerstlauer spinning coaster before, and while I’m not the world’s biggest lover of spinning coasters, I would have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it! The ride span well without spinning excessively, was pretty long and had some fun twists and turns, with the added fun surprise of a mid-ride tyre launch! I would say the inward-facing seating was mildly awkward for me as a single rider riding with people I didn’t know, but that’s a very minor niggle and doesn’t really take away from the actual ride experience. All in all, then, I definitely enjoyed Cetautomatix and would probably say that it’s surpassed Storm Chaser at Paultons Park as my favourite spinning coaster; it was very good fun, for sure: After getting off Cetautomatix, I met back up with my family and we headed to ride my most anticipated ride of the day after our earlier failure… Toutatis I figured that the queue for Toutatis probably wasn’t going to get any shorter and we were all increasingly keen to do it, so we decided to brave the advertised 55 minute queue and see how we got on. As with Oz’Iris, the queue was bursting out of the entrance (it took us 15 minutes to get through the actual entrance), and it seemed to move more slowly than the other queues, but it was again broadly accurate and took us around 60 minutes to board. As a stray observation, I did notice that a lot of the internal queue lines at Parc Astérix seem quite short, compared to the number of people that wait and the queue times, as both Toutatis and Oz’Iris were bursting out of their queue lines without excessive queue times and Zeus was on the cusp when we rode that later in the day. Why is this, I wonder? Anyway, that’s enough about the queue; how was the ride? Well, Toutatis was my most anticipated ride of our trip to France and probably my most anticipated ride since riding Shambhala in 2024; with VelociCoaster at Islands of Adventure being my present #1, I was hotly anticipating a ride of a similar style! And my word, it did not disappoint! I was sat in row 8, and I don’t even quite know where to begin in reviewing it as there’s quite a lot to unpick… the ride starts with a nice punchy launch, and while the initial sections don’t look like much on a POV, I was actually very surprised at how potent they were; the zero-g stall is superb and provides some wonderful hangtime, and the undulations are surprisingly forceful! And then the ride kicks things up a notch… I’ve ridden swing launches before, and the one on Ice Breaker in particular was really good fun, but this was something else entirely; the forwards and backwards airtime is absolutely obscene, and when combined with the launching sensation and the wonderful sustained floater airtime of the backwards spike as well (which is far superior to the junior scorpion tails on Ice Breaker and Mandrill Mayhem), it makes for an absolute riot and quite possibly one of the strongest sequences of roller coaster I’ve ever experienced! And then you’ve got an entire layout afterwards; I was ever so slightly disappointed with the top hat compared to VelociCoaster’s, with the anticipation stall making for slightly weaker airtime, but every part of the ensuing layout hits and hits hard! The sense of speed is absolutely absurd, the forces are sublime, and there are many, many great elements here, including another superb zero-g stall, an absolutely wicked ejector airtime hill that hurls you out of the seat, a fast roll, some quick airtime bursts and even some turns that look inconsequential on a POV but provide surprising airtime and force on the actual ride! You could almost fill a book with good things about Toutatis, and many elements deserve a fair amount of words in their own right, but overall, the ride is absolutely sublime, top-drawer, a masterpiece, whatever brilliant adjective you can think of, with airtime, speed, smoothness, comfort, intensity and everything you could possibly ask for. I’m not going to provide an impulsive ranking or make an impulsive statement after this first ride, but what I will say is that given I’ve often been slightly underwhelmed by big hitters on the first go as of late, this was a very strong instant sale from the get go with the full euphoria, crying with laughter and shaking, head in hands wonder from the very first ride, which made me feel incredibly gratified and made me think that a top 3 placement at minimum was very probable. The full tale of Toutatis is to be continued later, as I’ve learned you can never fully judge a big hitter after just one ride: After getting off Toutatis, we headed in the direction of the other part of the park, getting some tasty pizza sandwiches for lunch. After this, we headed to our next coaster… Goudurix Goudurix was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so me and my sister gave it a whirl, with my mum and dad sitting this one out in anticipation of a headbanger. Once again, the queue time for this was pleasingly accurate, with us waiting exactly 20 minutes for our ride as promised. So, how was it? Well, my sister and I had been discussing pleasantly surprising rides prior to boarding Goudurix, where I reminisced on experiences such as Hagrid’s… and all I’ll say is that at the end of Goudurix, she turned to me with a pained look and simply said “that was not one of those pleasantly surprising rides we were talking about before, was it?”. My word, old Vekoma produced some absolute trash, and Goudurix is a fine example of this! It actually has a fairly decent layout, with that first butterfly element in particular pulling some surprisingly good g-forces, but it is just hideously rough, with so much of it spent being banged around in the restraints. One mild saving grace was that it had vest restraints, which did mean that our ears got off a little more lightly than they might have done otherwise (I think the ride might have been almost Infusion or Odyssey-level dire with regular Vekoma OTSRs)… but it was not a good ride. All in all, then, Goudurix was a ride my sister and I were both quite content only riding once; I’m glad to have done it, but I won’t lose too much sleep if I never do it again: After Goudurix, we met back up with my parents and moved onto our next major coaster… Tonnerre 2 Zeus We couldn’t quite decide whether Tonnerre 2 Zeus was on a 35 minute or 45 minute advertised queue time (we were discussing conflicting figures), but we decided to join it anyway. This queue line was quite possibly the most wasp-infested I have ever seen, probably due to the abundance of lavender within it, and we also got a good view of the ride and saw that areas of it were shaking possibly more than I’ve ever seen on any woodie (potentially an omen for the ride experience…). As with Mine Blower at Fun Spot, the Timberliner trains also produced an absolute racket negotiating the circuit that almost sounds a bit like Santa’s sleigh at Christmas (again, potentially an omen for the ride experience…). We ultimately waited 45 minutes for our ride, which was in line with one of our estimates… we weren’t sure if the queue was as advertised or 10 seconds over! So, how was it? Well, Tonnerre 2 Zeus is a ride I was, to say the least, incredibly intrigued to experience. I knew it was a big woodie and that it had been retracked fairly recently, which are usually good signs, but I also knew that the ride was deeply, deeply polarising. People either seem to think it’s the best thing ever or absolutely loathe it. I went in with low expectations, as I’d heard it was pretty rough and I don’t generally like rough coasters, but I have to say that the ride really surprised me… I sat in row 12, and I think I absolutely loved it! Now the reason I sound quite tentative is because Tonnerre 2 Zeus is one of those rides that made me question everything I thought I knew about my own taste in coasters, and it’s possibly the most undecided I’ve been getting off a ride. It’s quite unlike any other woodie, heck, any other coaster full stop, I’ve ever been on, and I’m finding it quite hard to fully decide where I stand on it, so prepare for me to talk quite a lot. I’ll start with the layout, which is easier to discuss. Layout-wise, it’s absolutely superb; the ride absolutely hauls its way through a long layout that never lets up and is filled with speed, intensity, airtime moments and excitement. On layout alone, I think it would be in my top 10 and most likely usurping Wodan as my top woodie, and if it had been retracked GCI-style like GhostRider or retracked with pre-cut track and the PTCs still in place like Megafobia, I think I would have an easier time placing it there. As with Mine Blower, the fact remains that I do not particularly rate those Timberliner restraints. I think they impede the airtime moments so you don’t feel them as strongly as you would on a GCI or PTC train, and if the ride had freer-feeling trains, I think I’d have an easier time putting it straight in the top 10. There’s a whole other aspect to discuss, though… smoothness. Now the ride is absolutely not glossy smooth in the same way as a GCI coaster like Wodan or Wicker Man… but it isn’t uncomfortably, painfully rough throughout in the miserable, horrible way that Grand National or Stampida are either and was generally a lot less uncomfortable or painful than I was fearing. It has its jarring moments, and in one sense, the ride feels incredibly rough, but in an odd way that… wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable or painful at all. I’m not even sure rough is the right word… I’d almost say raw or unrestrained. This was my first time riding a particularly large coaster with Timberliners (Mine Blower is quite small), and it felt utterly unhinged quite unlike any other woodie I’ve ever ridden in a way that’s quite hard to describe. It was deafeningly loud throughout (unlike any other coaster I’ve ever ridden… I couldn’t hear myself think!), and the whole thing just felt like a complete riot that I couldn’t help but crease up at in one sense… my family widely used terms like “unsafe-feeling” and “thought it was going to come off the track”, but they seemed to have similar thoughts. All in all, then, I think I loved Zeus and would rate it highly… but I remain slightly tentative on where exactly to stand on it. As I’ve rambled on for a fair time, I’m fairly sure it doesn’t beat Wodan as my favourite woodie, and my head would tentatively put it a bit below Wicker Man as well as I think I find that a bit more easily rerideable and fun and less objectively flawed… but Zeus was absolutely mental with a cracking layout, and part of me thinks it deserves to pip Wicker Man into my 10/10 tier and overall top 10 for raw mentality and shock value and the slightly unrefined tracking and less-than-stellar trains shouldn’t be a barrier to that: After getting off Tonnerre 2 Zeus, I made my way onto another smaller coaster… Vol D’Icare Vol D’Icare was on the way to our final unexplored section and appeared quiet, so I decided to give it a solo ride. I pretty much walked straight onto it and was batched onto the back car. So, how was it? Well, while a relatively minor ride, I was interested to experience Vol D’Icare by virtue of it being the only remaining Zierer Comet coaster, with the other one being the late Hornet down at Flambard’s in Cornwall, whose most notable selling point was being “Britain’s most southerly roller coaster”. As these Zierers go, I thought it was good fun, if not earth-shattering; there were some fun drops and bits of mild speed, but some of the numerous brakes were also quite sharp as well. All in all, then, it was a perfectly serviceable filler coaster for a park like Parc Astérix, but I’m quite glad I never ventured 3.5 hours down to the bottom of Cornwall exclusively to ride this exact coaster at Flambard’s: After Vol D’Icare, we headed to our final coaster of the day… Pegase Express Pegase Express was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so as it was our final unridden coaster of the day, we decided to give it a go. The 20 minute queue time ended up being somewhat understated, with us waiting 35 minutes, and while throughputs were generally quite good, the loading process seemed a bit chaotic on here, with sporadic batching and guests entering straight from the queue into the train without standing in the airgates. I don’t know quite what was going on here! So, how was the ride? Well, this was my first of these Gerstlauer family launch coasters, and I have to say that I thought it was really decent! The ride’s forward section was smooth, punchy and dynamic, the backwards section also packed a decent punch and was great fun, and the ride was generally excellent fun and a good length! Overall, I found it very enjoyable and on a similar level to rides like Thirteen at Alton Towers and Gold Rush at Drayton Manor; I really enjoyed it, and I definitely think this is my favourite Gerstlauer coaster: After Pegase Express, we were all pretty hot, so we decided to head to a water ride for some hydration… Romus et Rapidus Romus et Rapidus was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so seeking a cool-off after lots of hot queueing, we decided to take a ride on there. The queue time was overstated, with us getting on within 10 minutes, and we were quickly batched with a friendly French couple who could tell we were English and made conversation with us. So, how was it? Well, I thought it was a great rapids, and my boat companions seemed to agree; there were some good waves and a good element of chance, there were some decent effects, and it was decently wet without being a Bilge-Rats or Valhalla-level saturation event, which is just what you want on a hot day like today! Overall, then, Romus et Rapidus was a fun diversion from the coastering, and the cooling off made us all slightly less fried from the heat: After Romus et Rapidus, my family were done with riding, so as there was just under an hour left of the day and I was quite adamant I didn’t want to leave the park having only ridden Toutatis once, I headed for a reride on Toutatis. I was unable to use single rider as it was closed, so I got in a 45 minute advertised main queue that ended up being 65. After this morning, I thought I needed a second ride to settle my true feelings on Toutatis… and the second ride settled it. While it’s incredibly close and a return to Florida could easily tip the scales in the opposite direction, I am currently saying that I prefer it to VelociCoaster and am therefore crowning a new #1 coaster. While there are aspects of VelociCoaster I prefer (the top hat being the main one, and I also don’t think Toutatis’ roll at the end quite matches the mosasaurus roll), the fact is that that swing launch sequence alone is unspeakably phenomenal like nothing else I’ve ever experienced and the overall layout of Toutatis is every bit as good and hard-hitting as that of VelociCoaster outside of that, and that does swing the balance in Toutatis’ favour for me. What a ride, and what a model; I was once ambivalent at best about Intamin as a manufacturer, but that’s a 2 for 2 hit rate on these new-generation Blitz Coasters for me now, and I’m can see the hype. They really are that good!: After my reride on Toutatis, I met back up with my family and we headed out of Parc Astérix after a great and successful first visit: So, that brings a close to my first ever visit to Parc Astérix in France! I had an excellent day; it was great to get on all the rides and see the park for the first time! It is an excellent park; there are some absolutely brilliant rides, the theming is overall very nice, and the operations are also very good overall, even if there are some slight quirks! I’m not currently sure quite where to rank it compared to other European parks I’ve visited, as I think it’s hard for me to gauge a full feel for it having only had 1 day there, compared to Europa and PA where I had 3 and properly had time to explore and relax. Rides-wise, the key highlight was obviously my new #1 coaster Toutatis; I was excited for it and it did not disappoint in the slightest! But there’s so much more to the park beyond that; Tonnerre 2 Zeus and Oz’Iris were both fantastic rides, Pegase Express was an excellent family coaster, Cetautomatix and Trace du Hourra were good fun, the rapids were great, and there’s more to mention and more I didn’t ride! It seems like a park where you could easily spend 2 days if you wanted to, and it’s a more substantial destination in its own right than I’d perhaps expected. Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! There will be another one later in the week from a day at Disneyland Paris, which will be my first visit in 15 years! I can’t wait to get back there, get back on some things and also get on lots of things I couldn’t or didn’t ride the first time!

The throughput does seem to have improved a bit recently. It’s still not amazing, but I now regularly seem to time it around 700-800pph whereas I have timed it at more like 400-500pph in years gone by (I remember it getting 427pph on 2 trains once… dire!).

I haven’t had a rough ride on it for a few years now. Those trains still aren’t great, but it hasn’t been overly rough in a while for me. And when it’s smooth, the first half in particular is actually quite good! It still isn’t a favourite of mine at Thorpe, but I think that speaks more to the strength of Thorpe’s selection than Colossus being overly terrible.

3rd June 2026: Blackpool Pleasure Beach Today, I returned to a UK park I hadn’t yet visited this season; Blackpool Pleasure Beach! I was going to wait until September to visit Blackpool, but with Aviktas having just opened and gained rave reviews and me still being at a loose end, I thought I’d bump my visit forward a little to catch a midweek visit before the school trips and summer crowds start to descend! Aviktas or not, I do always like a visit to Blackpool, not least to get back on Icon, one of my favourite coasters in the country! My day started at quite a leisurely pace, as I’d travelled up to Blackpool yesterday and the park didn’t open until 11am. I got up at 8am, had breakfast in Wetherspoons, went back to my hotel room for a bit, strolled along the promenade for a bit, went into the casino building coffee shop for a chocolate muffin and then took my position outside the park entrance ready for opening at around 10:30am: Now I should say that when I booked the trip, I was anticipating nice weather, with it being June, but in the days leading up to the trip, the weather forecast worsened to the extent where high winds and rain were forecast on the day of my visit. I was disappointed, but seeing as this is the North and my last two visits to Blackpool were in absolutely gorgeous weather, I was probably overdue a dreary weather visit! The weather forecast made me a little twitchy, so any usual strategy I would have attacked Blackpool with went out the window as I attempted to get my main draws in early in case dire ride availability struck later on! With this in mind, I decided to start my day on the big new addition that everyone’s been talking about… Aviktas With Aviktas being the main new addition to Blackpool since my last trip in 2025, I decided to get it done early. I was one of about 6 people in the general area, so I comfortably managed to get onto the first cycle of the day; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, while Aviktas has been very strongly hyped, I myself was slightly sceptical about whether it would live up to the hype for me personally. Prior to today, I had been unconvinced by the hype for gyroswings as a ride type; while they’ve grown on me since I first rode one, I would still say I much prefer the non-spinning pendulum rides, such as Screamin’ Swings, as a general rule. With all of that said, I have to admit that Aviktas did pleasantly surprise me; it’s very, very good! Of the ones I’ve ridden, it’s quite easily my favourite; the restraints are lovely, there’s less spinning and nausea than on the smaller models (I would say Aviktas mildly rotates rather than spins), and with there being less spinning, the focus shifts more to the speed and airtime, which I favour. And with Aviktas being absolutely huge, swinging up to 140ft, it delivers speed and airtime by the bucketload! Compared to the others I’ve ridden, I think these sensations are heavily enhanced on Aviktas by the raw size of the thing; at the peaks, the ride delivers absolutely sublime sustained airtime that had me flying out of my seat for seconds and seconds, and the speed in the troughs is superb! For raw speed and airtime, it’s probably up there with the excellent Serengeti Flyer at Busch Gardens Tampa for me, and while I think I do still marginally favour that one overall due to it being non-spinning, there’s not much in it and I do have to credit Aviktas with being the first gyroswing to impress me. It’s very, very good, even for me who’s not an enormous flat ride fan: After getting off Aviktas, I decided to head for a notoriously wind-sensitive headliner… The Big One The Big One is known for being sensitive to wind, and by all accounts, it is one of Blackpool’s main headliners, so I decided to get it out of the way early. It was running 1 train and only 3/5 cars of this train were loading guests, so I waited around 10-15 minutes for my ride. But how was it? Well, I was seated in row 9, and The Big One is an interesting one for me. When I first rode it back in 2018, I wasn’t a fan at all and was incredibly disappointed… but it’s grown on me with time to the point where I’d now say I do rather like it, even if it’s never going to be a top coaster for me! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the smoothest of things (although not nearly as hideously rough as I made out in 2018), and the layout, given its length, is largely redundant in terms of g-forces after the first drop, with it petering out drastically as it goes on… but that first drop is brilliant, with an awesome rush of speed and a forceful whip around, and there is something about rushing up those triangles at speed with the sea air blowing in your face that I find quite scintillating! It’s by some margin my least favourite coaster over 200ft tall, and it’s not quite making my UK top 10 or overall top quartile, but I think it’s one of those coasters that is more than the sum of its parts for me; there’s something about it that I find oddly charming, and I have grown to really quite like it with time! It’s proof that while many might argue that stats aren’t everything, a big, fast coaster is usually inherently quite likeable, in my book: After getting off The Big One, I headed for a favourite of mine… Icon Icon was right there next to The Big One, and I always love a ride on there, so I decided to give it a go. The queue was short, and I was in row 7 within 10 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I’ve historically been a rather outspoken fan of Icon, and that’s a stance I stand by; I do absolutely love the thing! Don’t get me wrong, VelociCoaster it isn’t as far as multi-launch coasters go and Hyperia it isn’t as far as UK Macks go, but I just find Icon such great fun! It has some awesome moments of airtime; that top hat is brilliant, the dive into the second launch is a great surprising airtime moment, there’s a surprisingly good drop halfway through the second half, the two inversions provide nice moments of hangtime, and there are some other great moments of mild floatiness in the turns and undulations! The ride is also incredibly smooth and comfortable, nice and twisty, and overall very rerideable; it’s definitely my favourite coaster on park by a good margin, and one of my favourites in the country! As I ride more, though, I do think Icon’s flaws maybe become slightly more apparent; compared to some of my other 10/10 tier coasters, I think it lacks some real standout “WOW” moments, it possibly has more “padding” than other coasters in the tier, and I do also think that it’s more “absolutely tremendous fun” overall rather than overly impactful like VelociCoaster or something that will just have you creased with laughter hitting the brake run like Hagrid’s or Wicker Man. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, and I do still think it’s wonderful enough that it deserves to be in that 10/10 tier, but I think it’s definitely a contender for my lowest ranking 10/10 tier coaster now (perhaps Ice Breaker might be lower, but I do think I’d give Wicker Man a slight edge over Icon). Even still, I do absolutely love it and think it’s a sublime coaster; it was so good to get back on there: After getting off Icon, I actually briefly headed out of the park back to my hotel, and I should probably provide some context as to why. As anyone who has multiple devices on the same Apple ID might know, Find my iPhone is very sensitive and loves to send you notifications whenever you get separated from a device. I normally ignore these, as they state the obvious of me having left my iPad at home whenever I leave the house… but today, I received an alert saying that my iPad had been left in Wetherspoons, which spooked me a little given that I hadn’t taken it to Wetherspoons. A look at Find My iPhone showed that it was in Wetherspoons a few minutes ago, but while the app was open, it then seemed to put it back in the broad vicinity of my hotel. I became 99% sure this wasn’t an issue, but 1% of me was nervous that it had been stolen (my mum, being somewhat sceptical of both Travelodge and Blackpool, warned me that it might get stolen if I left it in the room, and I was fearing she would be proven right), so as my hotel was merely yards from the entrance, I briefly popped back to check that everything was OK. Thankfully, though, it was just Apple having a funny 5 minutes and being inaccurate with its geomarkers, as my iPad was exactly where I’d left it… peeved with both myself and Apple at having unnecessarily wasted 10-15 minutes of riding time, I then headed back into the park, where they had to use a fluorescent torch to scan my hand stamp (I’ve never seen that before!). After my brief detour, I headed to another “new” draw since my last visit… Launch Pad Launch Pad was near the entrance and technically “new” since my last visit, so I decided to take a ride on there. The queue was short, and I got on there within 5 minutes, which I can never moan about! Now I discovered after my last visit that Launch Pad had actually had technical rehearsals on the day of my visit that I’d missed, so I was keen to get on there today after so narrowly missing it last time! But how was it? Well, I did ride Ice Blast on my first visit to the park in 2018 (it was actually my first ever Blackpool ride!), and at the time, I remembered it being quite a weak shot tower with very little force. The refurbishment, however, has rejuvenated it wonderfully; the launch is really punchy, and the airtime at the top is absolutely superb, truly throwing you out of the seat! As much as a traditional drop tower is my preference, I always like an S&S shot tower, and Launch Pad is now a very good one! All in all, then, I thoroughly enjoyed Launch Pad; the refurbishment has made it much better, in my view: After getting off Launch Pad, I went to ride a coaster that I hadn’t ridden since 2019… Nickelodeon Streak Nickelodeon Streak was open and on a near non-existent queue, so as it had been closed on my last visit to Blackpool in 2025, I decided to take a ride on there. I thought I’d best get on it quickly if I wanted to, as I noticed that the ride shut at 2pm; I do think this is quite poor, even on a weekday, and there were quite a few staggered openings and closings around the park of a similar vein. As the queue was so short, I got on within less than 5 minutes; I can never complain about that! So, how was Nickelodeon Streak after 7 years since my last ride? Well, I was seated in row 6, and it was largely as I remembered it. It’s quite a nippy little thing, and it has the character of a vintage woodie without being overly rough, but it is definitely on the gentler side, with no notable airtime and quite mild forces; it’s more of a family wooden coaster than much of a thrill ride. Nonetheless, it was good fun for what it is and definitely a charming ride: After getting off Nickelodeon Streak, I headed for another woodie… Big Dipper Big Dipper had now opened and was on a very short-looking queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. I was on within 5 minutes, which I can never moan about! But how was the ride? Well, I’d remembered Dipper being pretty rough on my last go, but I was seated in row 6, and I have to say that it was running very well and was really quite enjoyable today! Like Nickelodeon Streak, Big Dipper has the charm of a vintage woodie without being overly rough, but I also think Dipper ratchets up the thrills a peg compared to Streak, with the ride generally packing more speed, threatening airtime in numerous spots and also having a fair degree of lateral g-forces that are fun without being excessive! All in all, then, I really enjoyed Big Dipper today; it may not be the most earth-shattering woodie out there by modern standards, but it was charming, good fun and definitely put a smile on my face today: After Big Dipper, I decided to spice things up with a dark ride… Wallace and Gromit’s Thrill-O-Matic Wallace and Gromit was on a walk-on queue, so I decided to give it a go. After having done a lot of coasters and thrill rides up to this point, I thought I’d space things out with something slightly gentler! So, how was Wallace and Gromit? Well, as someone who’s always liked the Wallace and Gromit films, I’ve always had a soft spot for this ride! I like the scenes showing different bits of the franchise, and while there are quite a few dark spots, I think the whole thing has a very nice feel-good charm about it, as well as feeling quite uniquely British! Overall, then, I enjoyed my ride on Wallace and Gromit; as a gentle diversion from the coasters, it always puts a smile on my face: After Wallace and Gromit, I headed for another coaster that I always feel obliged to ride even though I’m not a huge fan… Infusion Infusion was on a walk-on queue, so as I hadn’t ridden it yet today, I decided to take a ride on there. I am not a fan of Infusion at all, but I feel obliged to give it a go when I visit Blackpool if it’s on a short queue in case my tastes change or it surprises me one day. A bit like how my mum occasionally tries sausages to see if she still hates them, I felt like I should give Infusion a go on a non-existent queue, and with me having ridden Odyssey just over a month ago, I was mildly interested to see how Infusion compared. So, how was Infusion? With me being in a surprisingly positive mood towards many Blackpool attractions today, would Infusion continue the trend of growing on me over time? In short, not in a million years! I was seated in row 5, and Infusion remains an utterly abysmal contraption, with severe headbanging throughout the ride that severely limited enjoyment and left me with very sore ears; I remain staggered at how the second newest coaster in a park filled with rides approaching 100 years old is one of its roughest! As for how it compared to Odyssey… having ridden Infusion today, I do not think Odyssey is notably better, and I remain staggered that Odyssey is rated so highly in comparison. The only things Odyssey does notably better are size and uniqueness; they’re both absolutely terrible to ride!: After getting off Infusion, I went for a reride on Aviktas, waiting 15-20 minutes for the privilege. The ride was once again excellent, with superb speed and airtime, but it had started raining somewhat on this ride, meaning that I got an experience somewhat reminiscent of my 2025 waterboarding on Cyclonator at Paultons Park and the raindrops were absolutely piercing!: After getting off Aviktas, I headed to a coaster I hadn’t yet ridden today… Avalanche I hadn’t yet been on Avalanche, so I thought I’d give it a go. The queue wasn’t hugely out of the station, but similarly to on my last visit, the ride was only running one train, meaning that I waited around 20 minutes all in. But how was the ride? Well, as much as it might not be the coaster many think of when they think of Blackpool, I do have a soft spot for Avalanche! I find that it picks up surprising speed during its downward slalom layout; some of those corners are really quite forceful, and towards the end of the ride, there’s one twist that is forceful enough to threaten airtime! All in all, then, I enjoyed my ride on Avalanche; I do like a good bobsled coaster, and I’ll be interested to try Trace du Hourra at Parc Asterix at the end of the month: After getting off Avalanche, I noticed that the one credit (note the word “credit”) that eludes me at Blackpool was running, so I decided to go and ride… Steeplechase Steeplechase was walk-on, so as I still needed the central credit and I could quite clearly see it running, I decided to have a go on there. I’ve collected the left and right sides of Steeplechase on previous visits, but never the central side, and for the first time ever on any of my visits, they were running all three sides, so while all three were walk-on, I thought I’d dive for the central credit to get the full Steeplechase trifecta into my count! But how was the ride experience? Well, I may have ragged on Infusion above… but that at least has some thrilling output from its headbanging. I, perhaps controversially, rank the three Steeplechases as Blackpool’s three weakest coasters, and the reason for that is simple; in my view, the rides accomplish absolutely nothing aside from being uncomfortable, piercing me painfully in the hip bone every time the horse turns and jolting me forward painfully with Heimlich manoeuvre braking. The riding position just isn’t comfortable to begin with, and the fact that the rides are very painful and pain is the sole sensation they provide makes them completely unenjoyable for me. I get that Steeplechase is unique, but now that I have all 3 credits, I would quite happily never ride any of them again; they’re easily my 3 least favourite credits at Blackpool, and 3 of only 5 credits worldwide to hit my rock bottom 1/10 tier. In my Google Sheet that ranks and rates my credits, Blackpool’s overall average rating is unfairly dragged down by the fact that their most dire contraption is replicated 3 times: After getting off Steeplechase, I took a reride on The Big One on a near walk-on queue. This time, I managed to score the very front row; I don’t think I’ve ever ridden the very front of The Big One before! The ride was once again enjoyable, but unlike some hypers where the front enhances the sense of speed, enhances certain forces or provides different, equally good forces (on the B&Ms, for example, I often find that the front provides a strong sensation of being pushed into the airtime hills that differs from the pulling sensation provided in the back), I don’t think The Big One massively benefits from being ridden in the front; I do think I favour riding a bit further back for the full effect of that first drop: After getting off The Big One, I had not one, not two, but three walk-on rerides on Icon. I rode in row 4, the front row and row 6 respectively, and all three were absolutely sublime and such tremendous fun once again, although like with The Big One, I would say that having ridden the front row, I definitely favour a ride towards the back of the train on Icon: After my three rerides on Icon, I went back on The Big One for another reride. I was seated in row 9 this time, and it was once again enjoyable, although this was an interesting ride in that we got delayed for a good bit before we dispatched due to wind (which you could certainly feel on the ride!). The mechanic was also doing something under the train while it was sat on the brake run, with the riders before me moving gradually along it while they worked on the different cars. Can anyone provide any insight into what they might have been doing? I’ve never seen mechanics work on a ride train with passengers in it before! After getting off The Big One, I noticed that the final main thrill coaster I hadn’t yet ridden (Grand National aside, as I knew that would be closed beforehand) had finally opened for the day, so I went to ride it… Revolution Revolution was on a short queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. I initially dithered a little and pondered a reride on Icon instead, as it looked as though Revolution had stopped due to wind, but Icon itself went down for a temporary delay as I approached it and I quickly saw Revolution resume operation, so I joined the queue and got on within 10 minutes. But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 3, and I’m in two minds on it after this ride. I can’t deny that it packs a lot into a short track length; the ejector airtime in both the forward and reverse directions is surprisingly fierce, and the forward loop is forceful… but I’ll admit I don’t go overly mad for the loop backwards. It always makes me feel a little bit funny. Unlike other rides at Blackpool, Revolution is perhaps one I’ve grown to like slightly less with time. I can’t deny, though, that that airtime is surprisingly good, and definitely gives it a few additional brownie points! On a side note, the automated announcements on this always make me chuckle; the incredibly monotone “You are about to experience the ride of your life!” is quite funny, but the best one is probably the one at the reverse launch, where the same incredibly monotone voice tells you that “you are about to experience the 360 degree looping coaster… backwards.”. This drew a few sarcastic “Ooh!”s on my train: After getting off Revolution, I went for a reride on Big Dipper on a walk-on queue. I was seated in row 11 this time, and it was possibly even better than the first ride; this was really good fun, with some nice woodie charm without being overly rough and again threatening airtime in numerous spots! Big Dipper has definitely gone up in my estimations after today, and I think either it or The Big One is probably my second favourite coaster on park behind Icon now! This ride was also where the rain really started to hit; it rained quite hard while I was on there, to the point where I heard another rider exclaim “Who needs Valhalla after that?”: After getting off Big Dipper, I went for another reride on Aviktas. I was initially very pleased, as the queue looked practically walk-on… but I was less pleased when the heavens opened extraordinarily as I entered the queue. I grew even less pleased when I was secured in the ride ready to go and we were held due to the wind speed being too high… and the heavens suddenly opened even more extraordinarily in an almost America-calibre rain shower, meaning that I and my co-riders got absolutely soaked for what must have been a good 10 minutes. The staff eventually sent us back into the queue to wait out the closure, and I waited it out for a bit, but after having wasted around 30 minutes in the area overall, I eventually bailed, which later proved a prudent choice as the ride didn’t reopen: After bailing on Aviktas, I headed for a reride on Icon. The ride had unfortunately dropped to 1 train by this point and was now attaining under 300pph, meaning that the queue had lengthened and took 20 minutes. I was in row 6 this time and the ride was once again absolutely fantastic; the wind really intensified the feeling of speed!: After getting off Icon, I decided to go for a ride on something slightly more weatherproof… Ghost Train Ghost Train was open and had a short-looking queue, so as the weather was taking a turn, I thought I’d take a ride on there. I was on within 5 minutes, which I can never moan about! So, how was it? Well, it was a nice dark ride; it has lots of nice scenes and effects, and while I do not personally consider it a coaster credit, I also think the drop in the middle offers a fun little touch! They do like their sirens on here, though, don’t they? All in all, then, Ghost Train was good fun, and it was interesting to get on another dark ride: After getting off Ghost Train, I finished off the day with a reride on Launch Pad, on a near walk-on queue. This was absolutely awesome once again; as a big fan of a good tower ride, I’m so glad that Blackpool have restored this ride to its former glory, as it’s a brilliant ride now in a way I definitely don’t remember it being in 2018! Incidentally, this was the first ride I’ve had on it where I’ve faced towards the park rather than the promenade and the tower, and it was interesting to ride it with that view: After getting off Launch Pad, the weather was deteriorating and it was very near to the 5pm park close, so I decided to call it quits there and head back to my hotel: So, that wraps up my day at Blackpool Pleasure Beach! I was fearing the worst given the weather forecast, but I was very happy with the outcome overall; 21 rides, including 5 on Icon, 3 on The Big One and 2 on Aviktas, is not a bad tally at all given the weather, in my view! I had an excellent day overall; Aviktas is a brilliant addition to the park, and I loved getting on that, I loved getting back on Icon, and in general, I just really enjoyed getting back to the park! Having grown up in the south and not visited until I was older, Blackpool still feels like quite a special park for me to visit; today was still only my 4th ever visit, despite how widely talked about the park is in UK enthusiast circles! I do favour Alton Towers and possibly Thorpe Park overall, but those parks feel slightly less special and unusual to me because I’ve visited them loads over the years, whereas a visit to Blackpool still has an air of “specialness” about it to me because I live far away and haven’t been all that much. I always love a visit, and it closes out my top 3 UK parks (Alton/Thorpe/Blackpool; no Paultons for me!) very nicely; as much as the overall ride lineup (particularly coaster-wise) is perhaps slightly less to my personal taste than that of the parks further south, I’m glad to have a park that contrasts so strongly with Towers and Thorpe in the UK, and I think many of Blackpool’s attractions offer something really unique and valuable and are more than the sum of their parts. I do think the place is perhaps a little rough around the edges operationally, more so than the parks further south, but I still find it a really charming park with a lot to offer, and I rarely fail to enjoy a visit! My last two Blackpool trips have been great fun; I’m wondering if it should become a new annual tradition? Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! My next report will likely see me finally leave the UK for the first time since 2024, as it will very likely be from Parc Asterix at the end of the month! I can’t wait to see that park, and get on Toutatis for the first time!

Before I potentially gain a whole new arsenal in Blackpool tomorrow, I’ve got a number of throughput timings to report from recent trips! Alton Towers Nemesis Reborn (Theoretical: 1,400pph on 2 trains) - 1,130pph (2 trains, average of 5, 24th April 2026) The Smiler (Theoretical: 1,200pph on 5 trains) - 722pph (4 trains, baggage hold closed, average of 5, 24th April 2026) Wicker Man (Theoretical: 952pph on 3 trains) - 920pph (3 trains, average of 3, 24th April 2026) Note: The ride briefly went down after this, so this reading might be slightly unreliable. That was a quiet day at Alton Towers, so I wasn’t overly concerned about timing throughputs and frankly didn’t have the time to on a lot of rides (throughput timing is a secondary priority to riding!), but on the whole, operations seemed strong throughout the day! Oblivion was on 1 station, which was the only minor detractor, but as it was a quiet day, I didn’t think it was massively concerning. Thorpe Park Hyperia (Theoretical: 1,050pph on 2 trains) - 841pph (2 trains, average of 3, 12th May 2026), 833pph (2 trains, average of 9, 12th May 2026) Nemesis Inferno (Theoretical: 1,150pph on 2 trains) - 1,023pph (2 trains, average of 3, 12th May 2026) Saw: The Ride (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 8 cars/2 stations) - 789pph (unknown number of cars/2 stations, average of 3 dual dispatches, 12th May 2026) Stealth (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 2 trains) - 906pph (2 trains, average of 6, 12th May 2026) As with Towers above, it was a very quiet day and I wasn’t overly concerned about timing operations, but on the whole, throughputs seemed really strong throughout the day! Hyperia and Stealth in particular seemed to have excellent operations given the low crowd levels! Paultons Park Drakon (Theoretical: Unknown on 3 cars) - 593pph (3 cars, average of 10, 16th May 2026) Farmyard Flyer (Theoretical: Unknown on 1 train) - 284pph (1 train, average of 2, 16th May 2026) Flight of the Pterosaur (Theoretical: 650pph on 1 train) - 465pph (1 train, average of 3, 16th May 2026) Raven (Theoretical: 720pph on unknown number of cars) - 447pph (3 or 4 (?) cars, average of 10, 16th May 2026) Storm Chaser (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 2 trains) - 886pph (2 trains, average of 2, 16th May 2026), 790pph (2 trains, average of 3, 16th May 2026) Velociraptor (Theoretical: 750pph on 1 train) - 586pph (1 train, average of 4, 16th May 2026) I’ve often said that Paultons doesn’t have overly strong operations, but this was my first time scrutinising them properly since 2021 (my 2025 visit was so quiet that there was no point even trying!), and I perhaps hadn’t given them enough credit previously, to be fair. Operations across the park were generally very good and prompt, for the most part! Maybe there are areas for improvement, but I thought levels of urgency given the hardware the park are working with were generally strong.

I attended the opening day of Valgard yesterday, so let me take a stab at a longer review. Let me start with the area and wider theming... The Area/Theming Overall, I think they've done a lovely job with the area! The theming is all absolutely lovely, and they've finished it off very well! In terms of a few specific points of interest: There are some very nice details around! One of my particular favourites was the sheep "powering" the lift hill for Drakon, but I thought that there was loads to look at! As someone who wrote a post a few days ago remarking that Paultons' theming lacked theatre and pizzazz, I do have to concede that Drakon is somewhat of an improvement in this regard; I was particularly surprised by the pre-lift section, which is very nicely done! People (myself included) griped for years about Cobra being unthemed and lacking atmosphere, and it looks a damn sight better now; they've done an absolutely brilliant job with Raven! Even just having the themed queue and station and little bits like the clock towers in the middle and the area around it has enhanced the overall atmosphere no end! The Feasting Hall is an absolutely excellent indoor space, with some lovely details and a beautiful interior finish. I particularly liked the big fireplace and the big viking ship! I didn't really notice The Edge not being cohesively themed in; as much as including it would have been nice, it's tucked away somewhat and I don't think it sticks out like too much of a sore thumb. One minor gripe I would raise is that I think Drakon could maybe have used some theming that interacted slightly more with the ride and/or was slightly more visible to riders. When queueing, you can see some nice details in the ride area, including a shipwreck that lights up with some fake fire and some spikes, but I don't think these are terribly noticeable when on the ride; after the initial interaction with Raven, it does feel a tad like you're riding over some generic nice landscaping. I think more visible theming interactions from on-ride in the vein of Storm Chaser and Pterosaur in the same park or Raven in the same area, or Merlin coasters like Nemesis, Swarm and Wicker Man, might have been nice. All in all, though, I think it's a lovely area and continues Paultons' streak of very nicely detailed and finished off areas. The park are certainly onto another winner alongside Lost Kingdom and Tornado Springs, and compared to an area like Drayton Manor's 2022 attempt at Vikings, I think it's absolutely night and day! Let me now move onto the main event... Drakon I was highly critical of Paultons building a Gerstlauer Euro-Fighter and have made no secret of the fact that it was far from my first choice of coaster for the park. Having ridden it, I do maintain that it maybe wouldn't have been my first choice and it has not converted me to Euro-Fighters as a ride type in a drastic way, but I acknowledge that it is a good coaster and I think it will go down well with the audience, and that I was perhaps overly harsh at points in the build-up period. To raise a few specific points of interest: The stall does offer some very good hangtime. I'm quite surprised that Paultons went for such a dramatic inversion on their first ever inverting coaster, but I'm a fan of it and think it works well (or would if it weren't for the restraints... more on that later). I always like the drop on these Gerstlauer Euro-Fighters, and this one is no exception; it offers some nice airtime! The ride is definitely much smoother than I'd feared it might be; the tracking was generally very smooth throughout on my rides with minimal rattle or headbanging, although there were still odd sections where my head made mild, brief contact with the restraints. The ride is perhaps the least intense of the Euro-Fighters I've ridden, and I wouldn't call it an especially forceful or impactful coaster on the whole even if I think the layout is mostly good fun. For the park, I think this works well, but I thought it was worth pointing out. The first hill going over Raven doesn't really offer any notable airtime, which I was a little disappointed by. I understand that it probably had to be a certain height to clear Raven, but Gerstlauer, for all their flaws, are often quite good at injecting surprise airtime pops into their thrill coasters and a small part of me was hoping that it would be another surprise airtime burst from Gerst! The ride also doesn't really have any airtime more widely aside from the drop, so doesn't continue Gerstlauer's tradition of incorporating good surprising airtime moments. I wasn't necessarily surprised by this given the layout, but I do think this is something that Saw, Speed and Smiler do better. The main flaw I would raise, and a criticism that I 100% stand by from when the ride was initially announced, is that I think the OTSRs impede the ride and I would have preferred it with lap bars. On my 3 rides, I found that the OTSRs crushed my thighs and made the stall in particular somewhat uncomfortable. I begrudgingly accept the reasoning for OTSRs, but don't necessarily agree with the logic and think that some nice lap bars, as I know Gerstlauer offer, would definitely have made the ride more fun. All in all, then, I think Drakon, while not my first choice, is a fun coaster that will suit the park well. It's a very welcome step up in thrill from Paultons Park, and I think the younger guests will like it! In terms of comparisons, it's currently my highest-ranking Gerstlauer thrill coaster for the reason that it's more comfortable to ride than the others, although as I said, it didn't convert me to Euro-Fighters in a drastic way and I've settled on a 6/10 and #49/148 overall. I still personally rank Pterosaur, Storm Chaser and Raven slightly higher within the park. Finally, I'll briefly touch on Vild Swing... Vild Swing I'd never ridden one of these ART wild swings before, so I was interested to get on one for the first time. All in all, I'd say it was OK, but nothing to write home about as someone who's not a big fan of flat rides. The swinging is quite good fun, and early on, none of the sensations feel overly intense, but I would say that the cycle was maybe a bit long for me and I was starting to wear of the repetitive rotating motion by the end. If you’re keener on flats than I am, though, I think you’ll like it! So all in all, then, I’d say Valgard is a great addition to Paultons Park! The theming is delightful, Drakon is overall a fun coaster that will suit the audience well, and if you’re more of a fan of flat rides than I am, then I think you’ll enjoy Vild Swing! I also think Serpent’s Curse looks like it will be a fun addition for next year! To close out the review, here are a few photos I took throughout the day:

Ah, nice! If you're going midweek, expect very low crowds, particularly if it's raining; I went on a rainy midweek day in 2025 and managed 51 rides!