Matt N

2nd July 2026: Disneyland Paris After a successful trip to Parc Astérix on Monday and trips in between to Paris and Versailles, we headed to another theme park (well, duo of theme parks) today; we visited Disneyland Paris! Now unlike Parc Astérix on Monday, I had visited Disneyland Paris prior to today, but this was over 15 years ago, so my memories of it were quite vague. I was also under 8 years old on my first visit, so there were also numerous attractions that I was either too short to ride, too scared to ride or both on my first visit, so I was excited to experience some of these, as well as attractions I’d remembered from my first visit! And it’s also been over 7 years since I’ve been to a Disney park full stop, so it was interesting to visit some Disney parks again! Now, I should say before I get into this report that we did only spend 1 day across both parks, so this was very much a flying visit and our visit plan was designed around key highlights and things we hadn’t done previously in either Paris or Orlando. I’m aware that this is not really how Disney is designed to be visited, so the report should be taken with this in mind. Anticipating that the roads could be busy and wanting to start early, we headed out of our house at around 8:15am, arriving at Disneyland Paris just after 9am in time for the 9:30am opening and starting our day in Disneyland Park: Upon entering the park, we decided to start on a key memorable highlight of our previous visit… Big Thunder Mountain Big Thunder Mountain was on an advertised 55 minute queue time, so as it had been a key memorable attraction from our previous visit to Disneyland Paris, we decided to have a ride on there to start our day. The 55 minute advertised queue time ended up being overstated, with us getting on within 40 minutes after a relatively fast queue; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, 8 year old me had this ride down as being the absolute best thing ever, so naturally as someone who has now ridden far more coasters, I did not expect it to live up to my childhood memories and I did not hold the same view as I did in 2011, but it was still a very good fun family coaster nonetheless! I was sat in row 3, and as you’d expect, it was along much the same lines as its equivalent in Florida; very much a pink-knuckle ride, with not too much going on in terms of intensity, but offering a really good, fun experience with some fun twists and turns, areas of mild speed and tickles where it threatens airtime. As family mine train coasters go, I do think it’s a strong example; I would perhaps place it slightly higher than the Florida version, but not notably so. All in all, then, Thunder Mountain was an enjoyable way to start the day and it was very nice to get back on there after 15 years; we certainly all enjoyed ourselves, although my mum did comment that 15 years and many more thrilling coasters ridden had “ruined good, fun rides like that for [her]”: After Thunder Mountain, me, my mum and my dad headed to another ride in the area that we hadn’t previously ridden… Phantom Manor Phantom Manor was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as none of us had ever done it previously, we decided to take a ride on there. We pretty much walked straight into the stretching room, so pleasingly, the queue time was short as promised; in a park like Disney, it’s never a bad thing to have a 5 minute queue! For context, I hadn’t ridden Phantom Manor previously because me and my sister were both scaredy cat children and wouldn’t ride it when we were 8 and 10 respectively, so it was interesting to get on it today. My sister still wouldn’t ride it today, as she doesn’t go for loud noises and scary things. So, how was it? Well, having ridden Haunted Mansion in Orlando 7 years ago, I was interested to see how Phantom Manor compared, and I would say that similarly, it was quite a nice ride with lots to look at and some nice scenes, and it did seem a little bit more polished and story-driven than Florida’s version. The stretching room pre-show also seemed more impressive than Florida’s, and both my parents said this was the most remarkable bit of the attraction for them. It’s a fairly gentle affair, with nothing too scary for the faint of heart (I.e. me!), and I thought it was quite a nice ride overall, if not a top, top dark ride for me, although my dad thought it was “dull”: After getting off Phantom Manor, we met back up with my sister and moved to Adventureland to complete our next unridden attraction… Indiana Jones et le Temple du Peril Indiana Jones was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so as none of us had ridden it previously, we decided to give it a go. My sister and I were too small to ride it on our previous visit 15 years ago, so we were all interested to try it, and the queue took 20-25 minutes as advertised, so none of us could complain! So, how was it? Well, I was seated in row 5, and we sadly didn’t miss much on our first visit, as this was absolutely terrible! The ride had very old-fashioned OTSRs and seemed to bash your head around horribly whenever it turned faster than about 10mph, but to make matters worse, I didn’t even think the layout was anything that interesting; it felt like there was basically a loop and an awful lot of filler around it, with multiple very dead sections. All in all, I was glad to have ticked off Indiana Jones, but I don’t think any of us would lose sleep if we didn’t go back on it any time soon: After Indiana Jones, my plan originally put Pirates of the Caribbean on the agenda, but it was unfortunately closed for maintenance, so at my mum’s request, we instead headed into Fantasyland to ride a different dark boat ride… It’s a Small World It’s a Small World was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so as it’s a quintessential classic Disney attraction, we decided to have a ride on there. As we were boarding, it looked as though many people were watching the parade, so we managed to pretty much walk on the ride; I can never moan about that! So, how was it? Well, I had previously ridden the version in Orlando and found it delightfully twee, and I had similar thoughts here. As much as it might not be anything intense or earth-shattering, there is something strangely enjoyable about riding through rooms of animatronics singing and dancing in different languages… it’s a nice, gentle little ride that we all enjoyed! My dad also thought it looked a bit newer and more polished than the Orlando equivalent, which I agreed with: After getting off It’s a Small World, we took a walk around Fantasyland and the Sleeping Beauty gallery in the castle before heading into Discoveryland to ride our final unridden coaster in Disneyland Park… Star Wars Hyperspace Mountain Hyperspace Mountain was on an advertised 50 minute queue, so as none of us had ever ridden it before, we decided to take a ride. I was too small to ride it in 2011, and my noise-phobic sister bailed out as a child upon seeing that the ride launched out of a cannon, so it was new to all 4 of us! The queue was broadly accurate, with us waiting 55 minutes to ride, but might I just say that Hyperspace Mountain might be the most half-hearted retheme I’ve ever seen. The ride is supposedly themed to Star Wars, but externally and pre-ride, it’s very much still Jules Verne-themed aside from a few flags and stickers in the queue (which was also surprisingly bland in general given how beautiful and detailed the building exterior is… was it originally better?). Internally, it’s better, with a bit of Star Wars music and audio and some screens making the theme more convincing, but even then, I definitely saw plenty of calling cards of Jules Verne left in there… I’m no die-hard nostalgic, but I feel like the ride must surely be crying out for a return to a Jules Verne theme at some point! But that’s enough about the theme; how was the ride itself? Well, I was intrigued to try the French Space Mountain because while I’d ridden the version in Orlando, that is a lot tamer whereas Paris’ version is a proper launched thrill ride closer to Rock’n’Rollercoaster in style. I was sat in row 9, and I have to say that I did find it a more impressive ride than its Floridian counterpart, with a fun launch and some good speed and inversions, but it definitely isn’t the smoothest of things! The vest restraints make it less uncomfortable than it might have been, and it was hardly brain-melting to the extent of, say, Goudurix, but it was definitely a little bit on the rougher side in places, which did require some defensive riding when combined with the darkness. Even still, it was a fun coaster and I’m glad to have ridden it, even if Thunder Mountain is perhaps still my preferred coaster within Disneyland Park: After getting off Hyperspace Mountain, we ended our time in Disneyland Park for the day, heading out for lunch in Disney Village to break up our day: After lunch, we began the second stage of our day with a visit to Disney Adventure World, which was the more drastically altered park compared to our previous visit: Upon entering Adventure World, I had originally planned for us to start on Tower of Terror, but the queue times in Avengers Campus were looking more favourable, so we instead decided to start on… Spider-Man WEB Adventure Spider-Man was on an advertised 35 minute queue, so as it was a new ride since our previous visit, we decided to give it a whirl. This proved to be a grave error, as the queue time was grossly underestimated and we ended up waiting 75 minutes in what must have been one of the slowest-feeling queues I’ve waited in for some time. I’m not sure what made it so slow, but it seemed to take forever, perhaps not helped by the queue not being the most interesting by Disney standards, with it mostly consisting of painted walls and cattle pens! So, how was the ride after our unexpectedly long wait? Well, I thought it was quite good fun; the shooting technology is quite novel, the 3D was good, and while the ride is mostly screen-based, the novelty of the shooting tech makes for an interesting ride! It’s not a patch on the superb Spider-Man dark ride in Universal Orlando for me, and it perhaps wasn’t worth a 75 minute wait, but similarly to Ninjago at Legoland, I thought it was a fun dark ride with clever shooting technology and good 3D: After getting off Spider-Man, we headed for the other ride in Avengers Campus… Avengers Assemble: Flight Force Flight Force was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so me, my dad and my sister decided to take a ride. Now of all the rides on offer at Disneyland Paris, this was the one I was most insistent on riding at some point during the day, and there’s a bit of a personal backstory behind that. On my visit 15 years ago, I was tall enough to ride Rock’n’Rollercoaster (as it was then known, and as I kept repeatedly calling it today!), but I refused to ride because a classmate of mine at primary school told me that it gave him tummy ache after he rode it… so I didn’t ride it all trip and I’ve been slightly bitter about that missed coaster ever since, particularly after my family told me about how brilliant it was! I later managed to ride the Orlando version some 8 years later, but I’ve always been keen to return to Disneyland Paris and redeem that missed coaster credit, so I was insistent that I wouldn’t leave the resort today without riding it! The queue for this took 35-40 minutes, and I have to say that it was a somewhat more interesting queue than that for Spider-Man, with some videos and a pre-show with a very cool Iron Man animatronic! So, how did Flight Force stack up after 15 years of regretting not riding it? Did the experience live up to the personal thrill of finally redeeming my 8 year old self and (indirectly) giving my primary school classmate his comeuppance? Well, I remembered the Orlando version of this coaster being a really decent coaster in 2019, and this was decent as well; it’s probably my personal favourite Disney coaster! I was seated on the front row, and in terms of some particular highlights; that launch is excellently punchy for an LSM launch and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have said it felt almost like a hydraulic launch, and the ride also carries its speed well and has some good, forceful inversions! As well as this, the ride also isn’t overly rough either, being notably smoother than Hyperspace Mountain earlier in the day, which makes for an enjoyable thrill coaster and a nice headline coaster for the Disney resort overall! All in all, then, I was glad to finally get on Rock’n’Rollercoaster (it’ll always be Rock’n’Rollercoaster to me regardless of the Avengers theme!), and the ride itself was about as good as I’d remembered from Orlando, which was pleasing: After Flight Force, we headed to another new ride that none of us had ridden anywhere previously… Ratatouille Ratatouille was on an advertised 55 minute queue time, so as it was new since our last visit and we also haven’t visited Walt Disney World recently enough to have experienced it in Epcot, we decided to take a ride on there as we were all interested in seeing it. The queue was understated and took around 45 minutes despite being nearly to the ride entrance, which I can never complain about! So, how was it? Well, I thought it was quite an interesting ride! There were some good bits of physical scenery in there, even if the ride is predominantly screen-based, the animation sequences were generally quite good, and the spinning and interaction between the cars was quite a cool touch! They also very much liked the water squirter in there! One thing I did think, though, is that unlike some rides with lengthy movement sequences in front of one screen (I would give Street Mission at PortAventura and Snorri Touren at Europa Park as examples), I thought the screen sequences felt quite static and less like you were believably moving around; I’m not sure whether this was down to reduced car movement or something else, but it was something I noticed. All in all, then, I thought Ratatouille was quite a good, fun dark ride, and I’m glad we got to experience it for the first time: After getting off Ratatouille, it was gone 5:30pm and my family were starting to flag, so I was told I could ride one more attraction. As such, me and my dad went to ride a favourite of mine from Orlando… Tower of Terror Tower of Terror was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, so as I absolutely loved the Florida version and had never done Paris’ before (me and my sister were too scared to ride it in 2011), I was keen to give it a go. The queue time was broadly accurate, with us waiting around 45 minutes for our ride, although we did have an interesting experience upon boarding in that our lift broke down and had to be brought back to the area for a restraint recheck; that was intriguing! So, how was the ride? Well, I loved Tower of Terror in Orlando 7 years ago to the extent where I would have easily declared it my favourite Disney attraction and quite possibly my favourite non-roller coaster attraction full stop, and riding the Paris version reminded me of the brilliance of these rides. They’re still easily Disney’s top rides for me; the unrestricted airtime is absolutely incredible, and the wonderful theming, story and ambience adds quite a unique dimension to the whole experience compared to a regular drop tower! This version, unlike the one in Florida, was also quite interesting in that it had a spooky little girl appearing in each scene and adding comments; that was a nice touch that I wasn’t necessarily expecting! All in all, then, it was great to get on Paris’ Tower of Terror; this attraction really is wonderful, and definitely some of Disney’s finest work, in my view: After getting off Tower of Terror, it was gone 6:30pm and my family were incredibly keen to go home, so we called it a day there and headed out: So, that brings a close to our day at Disneyland Paris! I had a really good day; it was interesting to return to the parks 15 years after my last visit, and despite us not managing the full day, I managed to get on most of what I’d planned to (I had also pencilled in Frozen and Crush’s Coaster in Adventure World, but my family decided it wasn’t an issue not to ride these as we rode Frozen in Orlando and we rode Crush’s Coaster on our last visit 15 years ago), including everything that was new to me! I do think that doing both parks in a day was slightly ambitious, in retrospect, and I acknowledge that I was perhaps unable to give Disney the chance to show its full potential. Rides-wise, my highlight was easily Tower of Terror, but I also enjoyed getting on some of the other rides I’ve never done before, with Flight Force being a key favourite of those, and getting back on things like Thunder Mountain too. In terms of my thoughts on the Paris Disney resort; I thought Disneyland Park was overall a fair amount nicer to walk around than the Magic Kingdom in Orlando, with lots more little details to look at and a general more polished feel, and I also thought that some of the rides were better like-for-like (e.g. Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Phantom Manor). Disney Adventure World was also nicer than I remembered, and some of the new additions are really good. Both parks, particularly Adventure World, are surprisingly thin on rides, and I do think that some new attractions in both would not go amiss. My dad said that “both parks put together were smaller than Parc Astérix on Monday”, and while I’m not sure I agree with that statement, I would agree that neither park is particularly big individually. What I will say Disney does well, though, is making the environment very nice to walk around and be in. Disneyland Park in particular is a supremely pleasant environment with lots to look at, lots of little details and no visual expense spared, and it does make for a pleasant park to be in. I found it much nicer to look at and be in than the Magic Kingdom, which I wasn’t necessarily expecting. The Disney parks do feel very premium and like real “spectacle” parks in the same way as the Disney and Universal resorts in Orlando do. Of the two theme park days we’ve had in France this week, I would argue that our group perhaps got more out of Parc Astérix on Monday, and while you can fairly argue that we perhaps didn’t let Disney show its full potential, I think what it partly boils down to is that Disneyland Paris isn’t really designed for us, and I should probably elaborate a little on what I mean. My dad argued that this is because the parks are pitched primarily at families with young children, but I disagree; I think it’s that they cater more to fans of Disney than fans of theme parks. If you are a die-hard Disney fan and you love all the magic and pixie dust and characters, you’ll absolutely love it, but we are an older group and not absolute die-hard Disney fans, so we maybe feel less of a connection to the product. I’ve long felt similarly about the Disney parks in Orlando; I really like the parks, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t excite me like the Universal parks or some other places do. With all that said, it was fun to return to Disneyland Paris and we had a good day! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! I don’t know when my next theme park trip will be or where it will be to, but I’m sure I’ll go somewhere else before too long, so keep your eyes peeled!

Toutatis’ SRQ was closed when I went to use it in the evening, but Cetautomatix’s was open and excellently advantageous, allowing me to pretty much skip a 45 minute queue! So I found this to be a mixed bag.

29th June 2026: Parc Astérix Today was an exciting day; after months (well, years) of UK park visiting, I had my first foreign park visit since September 2024, and it was to a very exciting park; today was my first ever visit to Parc Astérix in France! I couldn’t wait to get on the rides for the first time, particularly Toutatis! We’re currently staying in a house somewhere broadly between Parc Astérix and Disneyland Paris (that’s coming later in the week), so we left this morning at around 9am and arrived at Parc Astérix just after 9:30am in time for a quick entry into the park ready for rope drop. First impressions were good; it definitely has nicer theming than I was expecting! I had it in my head that it might be a more Busch Gardens Tampa-style affair with relatively minimal theming, but the park is very nicely kept and has some really good theming!: After rope drop at 10am, I initially directed us toward Toutatis. I wanted to get it done early, and my first ride at Astérix was to be my 150th roller coaster, so I also had hopes of continuing my streak of notable milestone coasters after hitting #100 on Iron Gwazi in 2023. Alas, this was not to be, as the ride appeared non-operational and the queue was enormous, so we decided to bail after 15 minutes or so of not moving and start our day elsewhere: After this slight disappointment, we instead started our day on… Trace du Hourra Trace du Hourra was on an advertised 30 minute queue time, so as it was right next to Toutatis and open, we decided to take a ride. Pleasingly, the queue was exactly 30 minutes as advertised, and might I also say that I’ve never seen such rapid and mesmerising operations on a ride of this genre (yes, even on Schweizer Bobbahn at Europa Park!). They were frequently whacking trains out at 40-45 second intervals, and I honestly think that my throughput timings of 1,046pph and 1,090pph were somewhat harsh assessments of the situation; the trains were flying out, and there were points where watching it was almost like clockwork. When one train left the lift hill, another was right there ready to go up! It certainly put the 200pph or so Avalanche was getting on my last Blackpool visit to shame, anyhow… so, how was my first Parc Astérix coaster? Well, I quite like a good bobsled coaster, and Trace du Hourra was indeed a fun one! I was sat at the very front, and there were some good bits of speed and some fun twisty sections, and it wasn’t too rattly either! As for how I’d rank it relative to other bobsled coasters; I’d tentatively place it comfortably ahead of Schweizer Bobbahn, but perhaps not quite as highly as Avalanche. While it’s long and picks up some very good speed in areas, there are quite a few block brakes, which means you don’t ever quite amass the continuous feeling of speed that Avalanche offers. All in all, though, Trace du Hourra was a fun start to the day, and a good #150 even if not the one I was perhaps hoping for: After Trace du Hourra, we headed for something slightly bigger and more notable… Oz’Iris Oz’Iris was on an advertised 50 minute queue time, so while the queue was bursting out of the entrance, we decided to trust the queue time board and have a go on there as it was a major ride and a logical place to progress to. I was pleasantly surprised by the indoor queue for this, and once again, the queue time was pleasingly pretty accurate, with us waiting around 55 minutes in a queue that moved quite quickly. I had it in my head that Parc Astérix might have slightly shaky operations, but Oz’Iris was operated well and the queue moved at a very good rate. Oz’Iris also introduced us to a very odd recurring procedure at Parc Astérix; on numerous rides, the park likes you to put your loose articles in a trolley. I’m not sure how I feel about it; it does mean that things move quickly on the platform, but it’s a bit of a faff to rifle around looking for your bag when you get off! Anyhow, how was the actual ride experience? Well, I was interested to ride a new B&M invert, as while it’s one of my most ridden models, I actually haven’t ridden a new one in almost 10 years, and my opinion of the genre has changed a fair amount since then. Having predominantly ridden the two Nemesises (Nemesi?) since 2016, I have to say that my row 7 ride on Oz’Iris was absolutely superb and definitely had me crowning a new favourite B&M invert; it was fantastic, and perhaps controversially, I would say that it quite comfortably exceeded any recent ride I’ve had on either Nemesis (and my increasingly hazy recollections of Montu, my previous top-ranked invert) and I would place the ride within my overall top 15! In terms of what puts it at the top of the B&M invert pile for me; it’s got excellent forces and speed without ever being overbearing, is quite long and is impeccably smooth, but also has a very different and unique layout for a B&M invert. The sequencing is very different to any of the others I’ve ridden and offers a very nice flow, the various twists and overbanks provide some different and fun sensations compared to what you typically find on a B&M invert, it felt like there was more float in the inversions and I even thought I felt an odd little bit of airtime in one section! All in all, then, I loved Oz’Iris and was definitely happy to crown a new top B&M invert; it’s nice to see that a B&M invert still has the capability to surprise me after all this time!: After getting off Oz’Iris, me, my mum and my sister ticked off a much less notable coaster credit in the immediate vicinity… SOS Tournevis SOS Tournevis was seemingly walk-on, so while it wasn’t really a priority for me, I decided to tick it off anyway. The three of us were seated on the ride within 5 minutes, which we can never complain about! Interestingly (and I noticed this on Trace du Hourra as well), the staff member didn’t check our lap bars; they clearly have faith in their ride hardware! So, how was it? Well, I was sat on the back, and it was fun for a small coaster if not earth-shattering, just as the identical Cat-O-Pillar at Paultons Park was last month. These models have a surprising jolt of airtime on the first drop, and this particular example was also hardly braking and sent us flying around the pre-lift turn on the second lap, which was a fun touch! So all in all, then, it was good to get another credit ticked off: After SOS Tournevis, we headed back to a ride we’d just passed… Cetautomatix Cetautomatix was on an advertised 45 minute queue time, but as my family were not keen on doing a spinning coaster, I decided to take advantage of a secret weapon… the single rider queue! With it being such a frequent asset in the UK, I took a gamble on French single rider… and this proved to be a prudent gamble, as I was batched straight into a pre-boarding queue with a French family of 3 and waited no more than 5 minutes to board; I can’t possibly moan about that! Once again, the operations were phenomenally slick on here, with a non-stop conveyor belt of cars and routine 20-second dispatches; excellent work! So, how was the ride? Well, I’d never ridden a Gerstlauer spinning coaster before, and while I’m not the world’s biggest lover of spinning coasters, I would have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it! The ride span well without spinning excessively, was pretty long and had some fun twists and turns, with the added fun surprise of a mid-ride tyre launch! I would say the inward-facing seating was mildly awkward for me as a single rider riding with people I didn’t know, but that’s a very minor niggle and doesn’t really take away from the actual ride experience. All in all, then, I definitely enjoyed Cetautomatix and would probably say that it’s surpassed Storm Chaser at Paultons Park as my favourite spinning coaster; it was very good fun, for sure: After getting off Cetautomatix, I met back up with my family and we headed to ride my most anticipated ride of the day after our earlier failure… Toutatis I figured that the queue for Toutatis probably wasn’t going to get any shorter and we were all increasingly keen to do it, so we decided to brave the advertised 55 minute queue and see how we got on. As with Oz’Iris, the queue was bursting out of the entrance (it took us 15 minutes to get through the actual entrance), and it seemed to move more slowly than the other queues, but it was again broadly accurate and took us around 60 minutes to board. As a stray observation, I did notice that a lot of the internal queue lines at Parc Astérix seem quite short, compared to the number of people that wait and the queue times, as both Toutatis and Oz’Iris were bursting out of their queue lines without excessive queue times and Zeus was on the cusp when we rode that later in the day. Why is this, I wonder? Anyway, that’s enough about the queue; how was the ride? Well, Toutatis was my most anticipated ride of our trip to France and probably my most anticipated ride since riding Shambhala in 2024; with VelociCoaster at Islands of Adventure being my present #1, I was hotly anticipating a ride of a similar style! And my word, it did not disappoint! I was sat in row 8, and I don’t even quite know where to begin in reviewing it as there’s quite a lot to unpick… the ride starts with a nice punchy launch, and while the initial sections don’t look like much on a POV, I was actually very surprised at how potent they were; the zero-g stall is superb and provides some wonderful hangtime, and the undulations are surprisingly forceful! And then the ride kicks things up a notch… I’ve ridden swing launches before, and the one on Ice Breaker in particular was really good fun, but this was something else entirely; the forwards and backwards airtime is absolutely obscene, and when combined with the launching sensation and the wonderful sustained floater airtime of the backwards spike as well (which is far superior to the junior scorpion tails on Ice Breaker and Mandrill Mayhem), it makes for an absolute riot and quite possibly one of the strongest sequences of roller coaster I’ve ever experienced! And then you’ve got an entire layout afterwards; I was ever so slightly disappointed with the top hat compared to VelociCoaster’s, with the anticipation stall making for slightly weaker airtime, but every part of the ensuing layout hits and hits hard! The sense of speed is absolutely absurd, the forces are sublime, and there are many, many great elements here, including another superb zero-g stall, an absolutely wicked ejector airtime hill that hurls you out of the seat, a fast roll, some quick airtime bursts and even some turns that look inconsequential on a POV but provide surprising airtime and force on the actual ride! You could almost fill a book with good things about Toutatis, and many elements deserve a fair amount of words in their own right, but overall, the ride is absolutely sublime, top-drawer, a masterpiece, whatever brilliant adjective you can think of, with airtime, speed, smoothness, comfort, intensity and everything you could possibly ask for. I’m not going to provide an impulsive ranking or make an impulsive statement after this first ride, but what I will say is that given I’ve often been slightly underwhelmed by big hitters on the first go as of late, this was a very strong instant sale from the get go with the full euphoria, crying with laughter and shaking, head in hands wonder from the very first ride, which made me feel incredibly gratified and made me think that a top 3 placement at minimum was very probable. The full tale of Toutatis is to be continued later, as I’ve learned you can never fully judge a big hitter after just one ride: After getting off Toutatis, we headed in the direction of the other part of the park, getting some tasty pizza sandwiches for lunch. After this, we headed to our next coaster… Goudurix Goudurix was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so me and my sister gave it a whirl, with my mum and dad sitting this one out in anticipation of a headbanger. Once again, the queue time for this was pleasingly accurate, with us waiting exactly 20 minutes for our ride as promised. So, how was it? Well, my sister and I had been discussing pleasantly surprising rides prior to boarding Goudurix, where I reminisced on experiences such as Hagrid’s… and all I’ll say is that at the end of Goudurix, she turned to me with a pained look and simply said “that was not one of those pleasantly surprising rides we were talking about before, was it?”. My word, old Vekoma produced some absolute trash, and Goudurix is a fine example of this! It actually has a fairly decent layout, with that first butterfly element in particular pulling some surprisingly good g-forces, but it is just hideously rough, with so much of it spent being banged around in the restraints. One mild saving grace was that it had vest restraints, which did mean that our ears got off a little more lightly than they might have done otherwise (I think the ride might have been almost Infusion or Odyssey-level dire with regular Vekoma OTSRs)… but it was not a good ride. All in all, then, Goudurix was a ride my sister and I were both quite content only riding once; I’m glad to have done it, but I won’t lose too much sleep if I never do it again: After Goudurix, we met back up with my parents and moved onto our next major coaster… Tonnerre 2 Zeus We couldn’t quite decide whether Tonnerre 2 Zeus was on a 35 minute or 45 minute advertised queue time (we were discussing conflicting figures), but we decided to join it anyway. This queue line was quite possibly the most wasp-infested I have ever seen, probably due to the abundance of lavender within it, and we also got a good view of the ride and saw that areas of it were shaking possibly more than I’ve ever seen on any woodie (potentially an omen for the ride experience…). As with Mine Blower at Fun Spot, the Timberliner trains also produced an absolute racket negotiating the circuit that almost sounds a bit like Santa’s sleigh at Christmas (again, potentially an omen for the ride experience…). We ultimately waited 45 minutes for our ride, which was in line with one of our estimates… we weren’t sure if the queue was as advertised or 10 seconds over! So, how was it? Well, Tonnerre 2 Zeus is a ride I was, to say the least, incredibly intrigued to experience. I knew it was a big woodie and that it had been retracked fairly recently, which are usually good signs, but I also knew that the ride was deeply, deeply polarising. People either seem to think it’s the best thing ever or absolutely loathe it. I went in with low expectations, as I’d heard it was pretty rough and I don’t generally like rough coasters, but I have to say that the ride really surprised me… I sat in row 12, and I think I absolutely loved it! Now the reason I sound quite tentative is because Tonnerre 2 Zeus is one of those rides that made me question everything I thought I knew about my own taste in coasters, and it’s possibly the most undecided I’ve been getting off a ride. It’s quite unlike any other woodie, heck, any other coaster full stop, I’ve ever been on, and I’m finding it quite hard to fully decide where I stand on it, so prepare for me to talk quite a lot. I’ll start with the layout, which is easier to discuss. Layout-wise, it’s absolutely superb; the ride absolutely hauls its way through a long layout that never lets up and is filled with speed, intensity, airtime moments and excitement. On layout alone, I think it would be in my top 10 and most likely usurping Wodan as my top woodie, and if it had been retracked GCI-style like GhostRider or retracked with pre-cut track and the PTCs still in place like Megafobia, I think I would have an easier time placing it there. As with Mine Blower, the fact remains that I do not particularly rate those Timberliner restraints. I think they impede the airtime moments so you don’t feel them as strongly as you would on a GCI or PTC train, and if the ride had freer-feeling trains, I think I’d have an easier time putting it straight in the top 10. There’s a whole other aspect to discuss, though… smoothness. Now the ride is absolutely not glossy smooth in the same way as a GCI coaster like Wodan or Wicker Man… but it isn’t uncomfortably, painfully rough throughout in the miserable, horrible way that Grand National or Stampida are either and was generally a lot less uncomfortable or painful than I was fearing. It has its jarring moments, and in one sense, the ride feels incredibly rough, but in an odd way that… wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable or painful at all. I’m not even sure rough is the right word… I’d almost say raw or unrestrained. This was my first time riding a particularly large coaster with Timberliners (Mine Blower is quite small), and it felt utterly unhinged quite unlike any other woodie I’ve ever ridden in a way that’s quite hard to describe. It was deafeningly loud throughout (unlike any other coaster I’ve ever ridden… I couldn’t hear myself think!), and the whole thing just felt like a complete riot that I couldn’t help but crease up at in one sense… my family widely used terms like “unsafe-feeling” and “thought it was going to come off the track”, but they seemed to have similar thoughts. All in all, then, I think I loved Zeus and would rate it highly… but I remain slightly tentative on where exactly to stand on it. As I’ve rambled on for a fair time, I’m fairly sure it doesn’t beat Wodan as my favourite woodie, and my head would tentatively put it a bit below Wicker Man as well as I think I find that a bit more easily rerideable and fun and less objectively flawed… but Zeus was absolutely mental with a cracking layout, and part of me thinks it deserves to pip Wicker Man into my 10/10 tier and overall top 10 for raw mentality and shock value and the slightly unrefined tracking and less-than-stellar trains shouldn’t be a barrier to that: After getting off Tonnerre 2 Zeus, I made my way onto another smaller coaster… Vol D’Icare Vol D’Icare was on the way to our final unexplored section and appeared quiet, so I decided to give it a solo ride. I pretty much walked straight onto it and was batched onto the back car. So, how was it? Well, while a relatively minor ride, I was interested to experience Vol D’Icare by virtue of it being the only remaining Zierer Comet coaster, with the other one being the late Hornet down at Flambard’s in Cornwall, whose most notable selling point was being “Britain’s most southerly roller coaster”. As these Zierers go, I thought it was good fun, if not earth-shattering; there were some fun drops and bits of mild speed, but some of the numerous brakes were also quite sharp as well. All in all, then, it was a perfectly serviceable filler coaster for a park like Parc Astérix, but I’m quite glad I never ventured 3.5 hours down to the bottom of Cornwall exclusively to ride this exact coaster at Flambard’s: After Vol D’Icare, we headed to our final coaster of the day… Pegase Express Pegase Express was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so as it was our final unridden coaster of the day, we decided to give it a go. The 20 minute queue time ended up being somewhat understated, with us waiting 35 minutes, and while throughputs were generally quite good, the loading process seemed a bit chaotic on here, with sporadic batching and guests entering straight from the queue into the train without standing in the airgates. I don’t know quite what was going on here! So, how was the ride? Well, this was my first of these Gerstlauer family launch coasters, and I have to say that I thought it was really decent! The ride’s forward section was smooth, punchy and dynamic, the backwards section also packed a decent punch and was great fun, and the ride was generally excellent fun and a good length! Overall, I found it very enjoyable and on a similar level to rides like Thirteen at Alton Towers and Gold Rush at Drayton Manor; I really enjoyed it, and I definitely think this is my favourite Gerstlauer coaster: After Pegase Express, we were all pretty hot, so we decided to head to a water ride for some hydration… Romus et Rapidus Romus et Rapidus was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so seeking a cool-off after lots of hot queueing, we decided to take a ride on there. The queue time was overstated, with us getting on within 10 minutes, and we were quickly batched with a friendly French couple who could tell we were English and made conversation with us. So, how was it? Well, I thought it was a great rapids, and my boat companions seemed to agree; there were some good waves and a good element of chance, there were some decent effects, and it was decently wet without being a Bilge-Rats or Valhalla-level saturation event, which is just what you want on a hot day like today! Overall, then, Romus et Rapidus was a fun diversion from the coastering, and the cooling off made us all slightly less fried from the heat: After Romus et Rapidus, my family were done with riding, so as there was just under an hour left of the day and I was quite adamant I didn’t want to leave the park having only ridden Toutatis once, I headed for a reride on Toutatis. I was unable to use single rider as it was closed, so I got in a 45 minute advertised main queue that ended up being 65. After this morning, I thought I needed a second ride to settle my true feelings on Toutatis… and the second ride settled it. While it’s incredibly close and a return to Florida could easily tip the scales in the opposite direction, I am currently saying that I prefer it to VelociCoaster and am therefore crowning a new #1 coaster. While there are aspects of VelociCoaster I prefer (the top hat being the main one, and I also don’t think Toutatis’ roll at the end quite matches the mosasaurus roll), the fact is that that swing launch sequence alone is unspeakably phenomenal like nothing else I’ve ever experienced and the overall layout of Toutatis is every bit as good and hard-hitting as that of VelociCoaster outside of that, and that does swing the balance in Toutatis’ favour for me. What a ride, and what a model; I was once ambivalent at best about Intamin as a manufacturer, but that’s a 2 for 2 hit rate on these new-generation Blitz Coasters for me now, and I’m can see the hype. They really are that good!: After my reride on Toutatis, I met back up with my family and we headed out of Parc Astérix after a great and successful first visit: So, that brings a close to my first ever visit to Parc Astérix in France! I had an excellent day; it was great to get on all the rides and see the park for the first time! It is an excellent park; there are some absolutely brilliant rides, the theming is overall very nice, and the operations are also very good overall, even if there are some slight quirks! I’m not currently sure quite where to rank it compared to other European parks I’ve visited, as I think it’s hard for me to gauge a full feel for it having only had 1 day there, compared to Europa and PA where I had 3 and properly had time to explore and relax. Rides-wise, the key highlight was obviously my new #1 coaster Toutatis; I was excited for it and it did not disappoint in the slightest! But there’s so much more to the park beyond that; Tonnerre 2 Zeus and Oz’Iris were both fantastic rides, Pegase Express was an excellent family coaster, Cetautomatix and Trace du Hourra were good fun, the rapids were great, and there’s more to mention and more I didn’t ride! It seems like a park where you could easily spend 2 days if you wanted to, and it’s a more substantial destination in its own right than I’d perhaps expected. Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! There will be another one later in the week from a day at Disneyland Paris, which will be my first visit in 15 years! I can’t wait to get back there, get back on some things and also get on lots of things I couldn’t or didn’t ride the first time!

The throughput does seem to have improved a bit recently. It’s still not amazing, but I now regularly seem to time it around 700-800pph whereas I have timed it at more like 400-500pph in years gone by (I remember it getting 427pph on 2 trains once… dire!).

I haven’t had a rough ride on it for a few years now. Those trains still aren’t great, but it hasn’t been overly rough in a while for me. And when it’s smooth, the first half in particular is actually quite good! It still isn’t a favourite of mine at Thorpe, but I think that speaks more to the strength of Thorpe’s selection than Colossus being overly terrible.

3rd June 2026: Blackpool Pleasure Beach Today, I returned to a UK park I hadn’t yet visited this season; Blackpool Pleasure Beach! I was going to wait until September to visit Blackpool, but with Aviktas having just opened and gained rave reviews and me still being at a loose end, I thought I’d bump my visit forward a little to catch a midweek visit before the school trips and summer crowds start to descend! Aviktas or not, I do always like a visit to Blackpool, not least to get back on Icon, one of my favourite coasters in the country! My day started at quite a leisurely pace, as I’d travelled up to Blackpool yesterday and the park didn’t open until 11am. I got up at 8am, had breakfast in Wetherspoons, went back to my hotel room for a bit, strolled along the promenade for a bit, went into the casino building coffee shop for a chocolate muffin and then took my position outside the park entrance ready for opening at around 10:30am: Now I should say that when I booked the trip, I was anticipating nice weather, with it being June, but in the days leading up to the trip, the weather forecast worsened to the extent where high winds and rain were forecast on the day of my visit. I was disappointed, but seeing as this is the North and my last two visits to Blackpool were in absolutely gorgeous weather, I was probably overdue a dreary weather visit! The weather forecast made me a little twitchy, so any usual strategy I would have attacked Blackpool with went out the window as I attempted to get my main draws in early in case dire ride availability struck later on! With this in mind, I decided to start my day on the big new addition that everyone’s been talking about… Aviktas With Aviktas being the main new addition to Blackpool since my last trip in 2025, I decided to get it done early. I was one of about 6 people in the general area, so I comfortably managed to get onto the first cycle of the day; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, while Aviktas has been very strongly hyped, I myself was slightly sceptical about whether it would live up to the hype for me personally. Prior to today, I had been unconvinced by the hype for gyroswings as a ride type; while they’ve grown on me since I first rode one, I would still say I much prefer the non-spinning pendulum rides, such as Screamin’ Swings, as a general rule. With all of that said, I have to admit that Aviktas did pleasantly surprise me; it’s very, very good! Of the ones I’ve ridden, it’s quite easily my favourite; the restraints are lovely, there’s less spinning and nausea than on the smaller models (I would say Aviktas mildly rotates rather than spins), and with there being less spinning, the focus shifts more to the speed and airtime, which I favour. And with Aviktas being absolutely huge, swinging up to 140ft, it delivers speed and airtime by the bucketload! Compared to the others I’ve ridden, I think these sensations are heavily enhanced on Aviktas by the raw size of the thing; at the peaks, the ride delivers absolutely sublime sustained airtime that had me flying out of my seat for seconds and seconds, and the speed in the troughs is superb! For raw speed and airtime, it’s probably up there with the excellent Serengeti Flyer at Busch Gardens Tampa for me, and while I think I do still marginally favour that one overall due to it being non-spinning, there’s not much in it and I do have to credit Aviktas with being the first gyroswing to impress me. It’s very, very good, even for me who’s not an enormous flat ride fan: After getting off Aviktas, I decided to head for a notoriously wind-sensitive headliner… The Big One The Big One is known for being sensitive to wind, and by all accounts, it is one of Blackpool’s main headliners, so I decided to get it out of the way early. It was running 1 train and only 3/5 cars of this train were loading guests, so I waited around 10-15 minutes for my ride. But how was it? Well, I was seated in row 9, and The Big One is an interesting one for me. When I first rode it back in 2018, I wasn’t a fan at all and was incredibly disappointed… but it’s grown on me with time to the point where I’d now say I do rather like it, even if it’s never going to be a top coaster for me! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the smoothest of things (although not nearly as hideously rough as I made out in 2018), and the layout, given its length, is largely redundant in terms of g-forces after the first drop, with it petering out drastically as it goes on… but that first drop is brilliant, with an awesome rush of speed and a forceful whip around, and there is something about rushing up those triangles at speed with the sea air blowing in your face that I find quite scintillating! It’s by some margin my least favourite coaster over 200ft tall, and it’s not quite making my UK top 10 or overall top quartile, but I think it’s one of those coasters that is more than the sum of its parts for me; there’s something about it that I find oddly charming, and I have grown to really quite like it with time! It’s proof that while many might argue that stats aren’t everything, a big, fast coaster is usually inherently quite likeable, in my book: After getting off The Big One, I headed for a favourite of mine… Icon Icon was right there next to The Big One, and I always love a ride on there, so I decided to give it a go. The queue was short, and I was in row 7 within 10 minutes; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, I’ve historically been a rather outspoken fan of Icon, and that’s a stance I stand by; I do absolutely love the thing! Don’t get me wrong, VelociCoaster it isn’t as far as multi-launch coasters go and Hyperia it isn’t as far as UK Macks go, but I just find Icon such great fun! It has some awesome moments of airtime; that top hat is brilliant, the dive into the second launch is a great surprising airtime moment, there’s a surprisingly good drop halfway through the second half, the two inversions provide nice moments of hangtime, and there are some other great moments of mild floatiness in the turns and undulations! The ride is also incredibly smooth and comfortable, nice and twisty, and overall very rerideable; it’s definitely my favourite coaster on park by a good margin, and one of my favourites in the country! As I ride more, though, I do think Icon’s flaws maybe become slightly more apparent; compared to some of my other 10/10 tier coasters, I think it lacks some real standout “WOW” moments, it possibly has more “padding” than other coasters in the tier, and I do also think that it’s more “absolutely tremendous fun” overall rather than overly impactful like VelociCoaster or something that will just have you creased with laughter hitting the brake run like Hagrid’s or Wicker Man. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, and I do still think it’s wonderful enough that it deserves to be in that 10/10 tier, but I think it’s definitely a contender for my lowest ranking 10/10 tier coaster now (perhaps Ice Breaker might be lower, but I do think I’d give Wicker Man a slight edge over Icon). Even still, I do absolutely love it and think it’s a sublime coaster; it was so good to get back on there: After getting off Icon, I actually briefly headed out of the park back to my hotel, and I should probably provide some context as to why. As anyone who has multiple devices on the same Apple ID might know, Find my iPhone is very sensitive and loves to send you notifications whenever you get separated from a device. I normally ignore these, as they state the obvious of me having left my iPad at home whenever I leave the house… but today, I received an alert saying that my iPad had been left in Wetherspoons, which spooked me a little given that I hadn’t taken it to Wetherspoons. A look at Find My iPhone showed that it was in Wetherspoons a few minutes ago, but while the app was open, it then seemed to put it back in the broad vicinity of my hotel. I became 99% sure this wasn’t an issue, but 1% of me was nervous that it had been stolen (my mum, being somewhat sceptical of both Travelodge and Blackpool, warned me that it might get stolen if I left it in the room, and I was fearing she would be proven right), so as my hotel was merely yards from the entrance, I briefly popped back to check that everything was OK. Thankfully, though, it was just Apple having a funny 5 minutes and being inaccurate with its geomarkers, as my iPad was exactly where I’d left it… peeved with both myself and Apple at having unnecessarily wasted 10-15 minutes of riding time, I then headed back into the park, where they had to use a fluorescent torch to scan my hand stamp (I’ve never seen that before!). After my brief detour, I headed to another “new” draw since my last visit… Launch Pad Launch Pad was near the entrance and technically “new” since my last visit, so I decided to take a ride on there. The queue was short, and I got on there within 5 minutes, which I can never moan about! Now I discovered after my last visit that Launch Pad had actually had technical rehearsals on the day of my visit that I’d missed, so I was keen to get on there today after so narrowly missing it last time! But how was it? Well, I did ride Ice Blast on my first visit to the park in 2018 (it was actually my first ever Blackpool ride!), and at the time, I remembered it being quite a weak shot tower with very little force. The refurbishment, however, has rejuvenated it wonderfully; the launch is really punchy, and the airtime at the top is absolutely superb, truly throwing you out of the seat! As much as a traditional drop tower is my preference, I always like an S&S shot tower, and Launch Pad is now a very good one! All in all, then, I thoroughly enjoyed Launch Pad; the refurbishment has made it much better, in my view: After getting off Launch Pad, I went to ride a coaster that I hadn’t ridden since 2019… Nickelodeon Streak Nickelodeon Streak was open and on a near non-existent queue, so as it had been closed on my last visit to Blackpool in 2025, I decided to take a ride on there. I thought I’d best get on it quickly if I wanted to, as I noticed that the ride shut at 2pm; I do think this is quite poor, even on a weekday, and there were quite a few staggered openings and closings around the park of a similar vein. As the queue was so short, I got on within less than 5 minutes; I can never complain about that! So, how was Nickelodeon Streak after 7 years since my last ride? Well, I was seated in row 6, and it was largely as I remembered it. It’s quite a nippy little thing, and it has the character of a vintage woodie without being overly rough, but it is definitely on the gentler side, with no notable airtime and quite mild forces; it’s more of a family wooden coaster than much of a thrill ride. Nonetheless, it was good fun for what it is and definitely a charming ride: After getting off Nickelodeon Streak, I headed for another woodie… Big Dipper Big Dipper had now opened and was on a very short-looking queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. I was on within 5 minutes, which I can never moan about! But how was the ride? Well, I’d remembered Dipper being pretty rough on my last go, but I was seated in row 6, and I have to say that it was running very well and was really quite enjoyable today! Like Nickelodeon Streak, Big Dipper has the charm of a vintage woodie without being overly rough, but I also think Dipper ratchets up the thrills a peg compared to Streak, with the ride generally packing more speed, threatening airtime in numerous spots and also having a fair degree of lateral g-forces that are fun without being excessive! All in all, then, I really enjoyed Big Dipper today; it may not be the most earth-shattering woodie out there by modern standards, but it was charming, good fun and definitely put a smile on my face today: After Big Dipper, I decided to spice things up with a dark ride… Wallace and Gromit’s Thrill-O-Matic Wallace and Gromit was on a walk-on queue, so I decided to give it a go. After having done a lot of coasters and thrill rides up to this point, I thought I’d space things out with something slightly gentler! So, how was Wallace and Gromit? Well, as someone who’s always liked the Wallace and Gromit films, I’ve always had a soft spot for this ride! I like the scenes showing different bits of the franchise, and while there are quite a few dark spots, I think the whole thing has a very nice feel-good charm about it, as well as feeling quite uniquely British! Overall, then, I enjoyed my ride on Wallace and Gromit; as a gentle diversion from the coasters, it always puts a smile on my face: After Wallace and Gromit, I headed for another coaster that I always feel obliged to ride even though I’m not a huge fan… Infusion Infusion was on a walk-on queue, so as I hadn’t ridden it yet today, I decided to take a ride on there. I am not a fan of Infusion at all, but I feel obliged to give it a go when I visit Blackpool if it’s on a short queue in case my tastes change or it surprises me one day. A bit like how my mum occasionally tries sausages to see if she still hates them, I felt like I should give Infusion a go on a non-existent queue, and with me having ridden Odyssey just over a month ago, I was mildly interested to see how Infusion compared. So, how was Infusion? With me being in a surprisingly positive mood towards many Blackpool attractions today, would Infusion continue the trend of growing on me over time? In short, not in a million years! I was seated in row 5, and Infusion remains an utterly abysmal contraption, with severe headbanging throughout the ride that severely limited enjoyment and left me with very sore ears; I remain staggered at how the second newest coaster in a park filled with rides approaching 100 years old is one of its roughest! As for how it compared to Odyssey… having ridden Infusion today, I do not think Odyssey is notably better, and I remain staggered that Odyssey is rated so highly in comparison. The only things Odyssey does notably better are size and uniqueness; they’re both absolutely terrible to ride!: After getting off Infusion, I went for a reride on Aviktas, waiting 15-20 minutes for the privilege. The ride was once again excellent, with superb speed and airtime, but it had started raining somewhat on this ride, meaning that I got an experience somewhat reminiscent of my 2025 waterboarding on Cyclonator at Paultons Park and the raindrops were absolutely piercing!: After getting off Aviktas, I headed to a coaster I hadn’t yet ridden today… Avalanche I hadn’t yet been on Avalanche, so I thought I’d give it a go. The queue wasn’t hugely out of the station, but similarly to on my last visit, the ride was only running one train, meaning that I waited around 20 minutes all in. But how was the ride? Well, as much as it might not be the coaster many think of when they think of Blackpool, I do have a soft spot for Avalanche! I find that it picks up surprising speed during its downward slalom layout; some of those corners are really quite forceful, and towards the end of the ride, there’s one twist that is forceful enough to threaten airtime! All in all, then, I enjoyed my ride on Avalanche; I do like a good bobsled coaster, and I’ll be interested to try Trace du Hourra at Parc Asterix at the end of the month: After getting off Avalanche, I noticed that the one credit (note the word “credit”) that eludes me at Blackpool was running, so I decided to go and ride… Steeplechase Steeplechase was walk-on, so as I still needed the central credit and I could quite clearly see it running, I decided to have a go on there. I’ve collected the left and right sides of Steeplechase on previous visits, but never the central side, and for the first time ever on any of my visits, they were running all three sides, so while all three were walk-on, I thought I’d dive for the central credit to get the full Steeplechase trifecta into my count! But how was the ride experience? Well, I may have ragged on Infusion above… but that at least has some thrilling output from its headbanging. I, perhaps controversially, rank the three Steeplechases as Blackpool’s three weakest coasters, and the reason for that is simple; in my view, the rides accomplish absolutely nothing aside from being uncomfortable, piercing me painfully in the hip bone every time the horse turns and jolting me forward painfully with Heimlich manoeuvre braking. The riding position just isn’t comfortable to begin with, and the fact that the rides are very painful and pain is the sole sensation they provide makes them completely unenjoyable for me. I get that Steeplechase is unique, but now that I have all 3 credits, I would quite happily never ride any of them again; they’re easily my 3 least favourite credits at Blackpool, and 3 of only 5 credits worldwide to hit my rock bottom 1/10 tier. In my Google Sheet that ranks and rates my credits, Blackpool’s overall average rating is unfairly dragged down by the fact that their most dire contraption is replicated 3 times: After getting off Steeplechase, I took a reride on The Big One on a near walk-on queue. This time, I managed to score the very front row; I don’t think I’ve ever ridden the very front of The Big One before! The ride was once again enjoyable, but unlike some hypers where the front enhances the sense of speed, enhances certain forces or provides different, equally good forces (on the B&Ms, for example, I often find that the front provides a strong sensation of being pushed into the airtime hills that differs from the pulling sensation provided in the back), I don’t think The Big One massively benefits from being ridden in the front; I do think I favour riding a bit further back for the full effect of that first drop: After getting off The Big One, I had not one, not two, but three walk-on rerides on Icon. I rode in row 4, the front row and row 6 respectively, and all three were absolutely sublime and such tremendous fun once again, although like with The Big One, I would say that having ridden the front row, I definitely favour a ride towards the back of the train on Icon: After my three rerides on Icon, I went back on The Big One for another reride. I was seated in row 9 this time, and it was once again enjoyable, although this was an interesting ride in that we got delayed for a good bit before we dispatched due to wind (which you could certainly feel on the ride!). The mechanic was also doing something under the train while it was sat on the brake run, with the riders before me moving gradually along it while they worked on the different cars. Can anyone provide any insight into what they might have been doing? I’ve never seen mechanics work on a ride train with passengers in it before! After getting off The Big One, I noticed that the final main thrill coaster I hadn’t yet ridden (Grand National aside, as I knew that would be closed beforehand) had finally opened for the day, so I went to ride it… Revolution Revolution was on a short queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. I initially dithered a little and pondered a reride on Icon instead, as it looked as though Revolution had stopped due to wind, but Icon itself went down for a temporary delay as I approached it and I quickly saw Revolution resume operation, so I joined the queue and got on within 10 minutes. But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 3, and I’m in two minds on it after this ride. I can’t deny that it packs a lot into a short track length; the ejector airtime in both the forward and reverse directions is surprisingly fierce, and the forward loop is forceful… but I’ll admit I don’t go overly mad for the loop backwards. It always makes me feel a little bit funny. Unlike other rides at Blackpool, Revolution is perhaps one I’ve grown to like slightly less with time. I can’t deny, though, that that airtime is surprisingly good, and definitely gives it a few additional brownie points! On a side note, the automated announcements on this always make me chuckle; the incredibly monotone “You are about to experience the ride of your life!” is quite funny, but the best one is probably the one at the reverse launch, where the same incredibly monotone voice tells you that “you are about to experience the 360 degree looping coaster… backwards.”. This drew a few sarcastic “Ooh!”s on my train: After getting off Revolution, I went for a reride on Big Dipper on a walk-on queue. I was seated in row 11 this time, and it was possibly even better than the first ride; this was really good fun, with some nice woodie charm without being overly rough and again threatening airtime in numerous spots! Big Dipper has definitely gone up in my estimations after today, and I think either it or The Big One is probably my second favourite coaster on park behind Icon now! This ride was also where the rain really started to hit; it rained quite hard while I was on there, to the point where I heard another rider exclaim “Who needs Valhalla after that?”: After getting off Big Dipper, I went for another reride on Aviktas. I was initially very pleased, as the queue looked practically walk-on… but I was less pleased when the heavens opened extraordinarily as I entered the queue. I grew even less pleased when I was secured in the ride ready to go and we were held due to the wind speed being too high… and the heavens suddenly opened even more extraordinarily in an almost America-calibre rain shower, meaning that I and my co-riders got absolutely soaked for what must have been a good 10 minutes. The staff eventually sent us back into the queue to wait out the closure, and I waited it out for a bit, but after having wasted around 30 minutes in the area overall, I eventually bailed, which later proved a prudent choice as the ride didn’t reopen: After bailing on Aviktas, I headed for a reride on Icon. The ride had unfortunately dropped to 1 train by this point and was now attaining under 300pph, meaning that the queue had lengthened and took 20 minutes. I was in row 6 this time and the ride was once again absolutely fantastic; the wind really intensified the feeling of speed!: After getting off Icon, I decided to go for a ride on something slightly more weatherproof… Ghost Train Ghost Train was open and had a short-looking queue, so as the weather was taking a turn, I thought I’d take a ride on there. I was on within 5 minutes, which I can never moan about! So, how was it? Well, it was a nice dark ride; it has lots of nice scenes and effects, and while I do not personally consider it a coaster credit, I also think the drop in the middle offers a fun little touch! They do like their sirens on here, though, don’t they? All in all, then, Ghost Train was good fun, and it was interesting to get on another dark ride: After getting off Ghost Train, I finished off the day with a reride on Launch Pad, on a near walk-on queue. This was absolutely awesome once again; as a big fan of a good tower ride, I’m so glad that Blackpool have restored this ride to its former glory, as it’s a brilliant ride now in a way I definitely don’t remember it being in 2018! Incidentally, this was the first ride I’ve had on it where I’ve faced towards the park rather than the promenade and the tower, and it was interesting to ride it with that view: After getting off Launch Pad, the weather was deteriorating and it was very near to the 5pm park close, so I decided to call it quits there and head back to my hotel: So, that wraps up my day at Blackpool Pleasure Beach! I was fearing the worst given the weather forecast, but I was very happy with the outcome overall; 21 rides, including 5 on Icon, 3 on The Big One and 2 on Aviktas, is not a bad tally at all given the weather, in my view! I had an excellent day overall; Aviktas is a brilliant addition to the park, and I loved getting on that, I loved getting back on Icon, and in general, I just really enjoyed getting back to the park! Having grown up in the south and not visited until I was older, Blackpool still feels like quite a special park for me to visit; today was still only my 4th ever visit, despite how widely talked about the park is in UK enthusiast circles! I do favour Alton Towers and possibly Thorpe Park overall, but those parks feel slightly less special and unusual to me because I’ve visited them loads over the years, whereas a visit to Blackpool still has an air of “specialness” about it to me because I live far away and haven’t been all that much. I always love a visit, and it closes out my top 3 UK parks (Alton/Thorpe/Blackpool; no Paultons for me!) very nicely; as much as the overall ride lineup (particularly coaster-wise) is perhaps slightly less to my personal taste than that of the parks further south, I’m glad to have a park that contrasts so strongly with Towers and Thorpe in the UK, and I think many of Blackpool’s attractions offer something really unique and valuable and are more than the sum of their parts. I do think the place is perhaps a little rough around the edges operationally, more so than the parks further south, but I still find it a really charming park with a lot to offer, and I rarely fail to enjoy a visit! My last two Blackpool trips have been great fun; I’m wondering if it should become a new annual tradition? Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! My next report will likely see me finally leave the UK for the first time since 2024, as it will very likely be from Parc Asterix at the end of the month! I can’t wait to see that park, and get on Toutatis for the first time!

Before I potentially gain a whole new arsenal in Blackpool tomorrow, I’ve got a number of throughput timings to report from recent trips! Alton Towers Nemesis Reborn (Theoretical: 1,400pph on 2 trains) - 1,130pph (2 trains, average of 5, 24th April 2026) The Smiler (Theoretical: 1,200pph on 5 trains) - 722pph (4 trains, baggage hold closed, average of 5, 24th April 2026) Wicker Man (Theoretical: 952pph on 3 trains) - 920pph (3 trains, average of 3, 24th April 2026) Note: The ride briefly went down after this, so this reading might be slightly unreliable. That was a quiet day at Alton Towers, so I wasn’t overly concerned about timing throughputs and frankly didn’t have the time to on a lot of rides (throughput timing is a secondary priority to riding!), but on the whole, operations seemed strong throughout the day! Oblivion was on 1 station, which was the only minor detractor, but as it was a quiet day, I didn’t think it was massively concerning. Thorpe Park Hyperia (Theoretical: 1,050pph on 2 trains) - 841pph (2 trains, average of 3, 12th May 2026), 833pph (2 trains, average of 9, 12th May 2026) Nemesis Inferno (Theoretical: 1,150pph on 2 trains) - 1,023pph (2 trains, average of 3, 12th May 2026) Saw: The Ride (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 8 cars/2 stations) - 789pph (unknown number of cars/2 stations, average of 3 dual dispatches, 12th May 2026) Stealth (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 2 trains) - 906pph (2 trains, average of 6, 12th May 2026) As with Towers above, it was a very quiet day and I wasn’t overly concerned about timing operations, but on the whole, throughputs seemed really strong throughout the day! Hyperia and Stealth in particular seemed to have excellent operations given the low crowd levels! Paultons Park Drakon (Theoretical: Unknown on 3 cars) - 593pph (3 cars, average of 10, 16th May 2026) Farmyard Flyer (Theoretical: Unknown on 1 train) - 284pph (1 train, average of 2, 16th May 2026) Flight of the Pterosaur (Theoretical: 650pph on 1 train) - 465pph (1 train, average of 3, 16th May 2026) Raven (Theoretical: 720pph on unknown number of cars) - 447pph (3 or 4 (?) cars, average of 10, 16th May 2026) Storm Chaser (Theoretical: 1,000pph on 2 trains) - 886pph (2 trains, average of 2, 16th May 2026), 790pph (2 trains, average of 3, 16th May 2026) Velociraptor (Theoretical: 750pph on 1 train) - 586pph (1 train, average of 4, 16th May 2026) I’ve often said that Paultons doesn’t have overly strong operations, but this was my first time scrutinising them properly since 2021 (my 2025 visit was so quiet that there was no point even trying!), and I perhaps hadn’t given them enough credit previously, to be fair. Operations across the park were generally very good and prompt, for the most part! Maybe there are areas for improvement, but I thought levels of urgency given the hardware the park are working with were generally strong.

I attended the opening day of Valgard yesterday, so let me take a stab at a longer review. Let me start with the area and wider theming... The Area/Theming Overall, I think they've done a lovely job with the area! The theming is all absolutely lovely, and they've finished it off very well! In terms of a few specific points of interest: There are some very nice details around! One of my particular favourites was the sheep "powering" the lift hill for Drakon, but I thought that there was loads to look at! As someone who wrote a post a few days ago remarking that Paultons' theming lacked theatre and pizzazz, I do have to concede that Drakon is somewhat of an improvement in this regard; I was particularly surprised by the pre-lift section, which is very nicely done! People (myself included) griped for years about Cobra being unthemed and lacking atmosphere, and it looks a damn sight better now; they've done an absolutely brilliant job with Raven! Even just having the themed queue and station and little bits like the clock towers in the middle and the area around it has enhanced the overall atmosphere no end! The Feasting Hall is an absolutely excellent indoor space, with some lovely details and a beautiful interior finish. I particularly liked the big fireplace and the big viking ship! I didn't really notice The Edge not being cohesively themed in; as much as including it would have been nice, it's tucked away somewhat and I don't think it sticks out like too much of a sore thumb. One minor gripe I would raise is that I think Drakon could maybe have used some theming that interacted slightly more with the ride and/or was slightly more visible to riders. When queueing, you can see some nice details in the ride area, including a shipwreck that lights up with some fake fire and some spikes, but I don't think these are terribly noticeable when on the ride; after the initial interaction with Raven, it does feel a tad like you're riding over some generic nice landscaping. I think more visible theming interactions from on-ride in the vein of Storm Chaser and Pterosaur in the same park or Raven in the same area, or Merlin coasters like Nemesis, Swarm and Wicker Man, might have been nice. All in all, though, I think it's a lovely area and continues Paultons' streak of very nicely detailed and finished off areas. The park are certainly onto another winner alongside Lost Kingdom and Tornado Springs, and compared to an area like Drayton Manor's 2022 attempt at Vikings, I think it's absolutely night and day! Let me now move onto the main event... Drakon I was highly critical of Paultons building a Gerstlauer Euro-Fighter and have made no secret of the fact that it was far from my first choice of coaster for the park. Having ridden it, I do maintain that it maybe wouldn't have been my first choice and it has not converted me to Euro-Fighters as a ride type in a drastic way, but I acknowledge that it is a good coaster and I think it will go down well with the audience, and that I was perhaps overly harsh at points in the build-up period. To raise a few specific points of interest: The stall does offer some very good hangtime. I'm quite surprised that Paultons went for such a dramatic inversion on their first ever inverting coaster, but I'm a fan of it and think it works well (or would if it weren't for the restraints... more on that later). I always like the drop on these Gerstlauer Euro-Fighters, and this one is no exception; it offers some nice airtime! The ride is definitely much smoother than I'd feared it might be; the tracking was generally very smooth throughout on my rides with minimal rattle or headbanging, although there were still odd sections where my head made mild, brief contact with the restraints. The ride is perhaps the least intense of the Euro-Fighters I've ridden, and I wouldn't call it an especially forceful or impactful coaster on the whole even if I think the layout is mostly good fun. For the park, I think this works well, but I thought it was worth pointing out. The first hill going over Raven doesn't really offer any notable airtime, which I was a little disappointed by. I understand that it probably had to be a certain height to clear Raven, but Gerstlauer, for all their flaws, are often quite good at injecting surprise airtime pops into their thrill coasters and a small part of me was hoping that it would be another surprise airtime burst from Gerst! The ride also doesn't really have any airtime more widely aside from the drop, so doesn't continue Gerstlauer's tradition of incorporating good surprising airtime moments. I wasn't necessarily surprised by this given the layout, but I do think this is something that Saw, Speed and Smiler do better. The main flaw I would raise, and a criticism that I 100% stand by from when the ride was initially announced, is that I think the OTSRs impede the ride and I would have preferred it with lap bars. On my 3 rides, I found that the OTSRs crushed my thighs and made the stall in particular somewhat uncomfortable. I begrudgingly accept the reasoning for OTSRs, but don't necessarily agree with the logic and think that some nice lap bars, as I know Gerstlauer offer, would definitely have made the ride more fun. All in all, then, I think Drakon, while not my first choice, is a fun coaster that will suit the park well. It's a very welcome step up in thrill from Paultons Park, and I think the younger guests will like it! In terms of comparisons, it's currently my highest-ranking Gerstlauer thrill coaster for the reason that it's more comfortable to ride than the others, although as I said, it didn't convert me to Euro-Fighters in a drastic way and I've settled on a 6/10 and #49/148 overall. I still personally rank Pterosaur, Storm Chaser and Raven slightly higher within the park. Finally, I'll briefly touch on Vild Swing... Vild Swing I'd never ridden one of these ART wild swings before, so I was interested to get on one for the first time. All in all, I'd say it was OK, but nothing to write home about as someone who's not a big fan of flat rides. The swinging is quite good fun, and early on, none of the sensations feel overly intense, but I would say that the cycle was maybe a bit long for me and I was starting to wear of the repetitive rotating motion by the end. If you’re keener on flats than I am, though, I think you’ll like it! So all in all, then, I’d say Valgard is a great addition to Paultons Park! The theming is delightful, Drakon is overall a fun coaster that will suit the audience well, and if you’re more of a fan of flat rides than I am, then I think you’ll enjoy Vild Swing! I also think Serpent’s Curse looks like it will be a fun addition for next year! To close out the review, here are a few photos I took throughout the day:

Ah, nice! If you're going midweek, expect very low crowds, particularly if it's raining; I went on a rainy midweek day in 2025 and managed 51 rides!

16th May 2026: Paultons Park After a quiet day at Thorpe Park on Tuesday, I had a day today that I was sensing would be busier; I attended the opening day of Valgard at Paultons Park! I was excited to see the area and ride Drakon for the first time, and also see an opening day for my first time! We (me, my mum and my dad) left our home at a little before 7:30 this morning, and after a drive where we saw a bizarrely high number of Citroen 2CVs (it seemed like an oddly specific classic car to see a number of on the road) and a services stop, we arrived at Paultons Park at just after 9:30, with it looking as though we narrowly missed some sort of opening ceremony based on the coloured smoke I could see as we pulled into the car park: Before I get into the meat of the day, I should say that I don’t think I’ve ever been to a park day where I’ve seen so many handheld GoPros in one place… it really was like playing spot the celebrity! I saw all kinds of vloggers and have inevitably appeared in the background of about 10,000 different vlogs… although I also saw some people I recognised from TowersStreet and CoasterForce wandering around, as well as lots of other people I didn’t recognise who seemed like enthusiasts! There were certainly a lot of enthusiasts on park today, put it that way. After entering the park, we initially decided to head over to Valgard, although we didn’t start with Drakon as the advertised queue was considerable at 90 minutes. We instead started with… Raven Raven was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so while we’d done this coaster before, we decided to give it a go with its new theme. The new theming all looks very nice, and it certainly gives the area a lot more atmosphere than when it was Cobra! So, how was the ride? Well, I’ve never been a fan of wild mouse coasters, and I’m not a huge lover of the hairpin turns on there as a result, but the rest of it was definitely a more fun coaster than I’d remembered! It had some nice helixes, fun twists and turns and even some bits where it threatened some airtime! All in all, then, I thought Raven was a good way to start the day, and I think the new theming is definitely a good thing for the ride: After we got off Raven, I headed to ride the new flat ride in the area… Vild Swing Vild Swing was on an advertised 25 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there seeing as I’d never ridden one of these ART swings before. The queue took around 25 minutes as advertised, and although the ride did briefly break down, this was resolved quickly. So, how was it? Well, the ride was OK, with some fun swings and a mostly non-excessive level of intensity, although I’m not a massive fan of flat rides and would say I found the cycle a tad long for my tastes. For the families, though, it should be a fun flat ride: After I got off Vild Swing, I met back up with my parents, who proudly showed me a “first” that our family managed to bag today; while we didn’t get on the first train of any of the rides in Valgard, my mum and dad did buy the first ever coffee order from the Feasting Hall. What a first!: After that, we had a brief look at the 2027 construction site before heading out of Valgard to do our first ride elsewhere in the park… Flight of the Pterosaur Flight of the Pterosaur was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so we decided to have a ride on there. The queue was slightly less than advertised, taking around 15 minutes, and me and my mum were batched onto row 7 and ready to go! But how was the ride? Well, I’ve always liked Pterosaur, and it was good fun! It’s smooth, has very comfortable trains and is surprisingly punchy for a family suspended coaster; that helix at the end is genuinely quite intense! My mum and dad also both liked it, with my dad saying the restraints were very comfortable and both of them being disappointed when I explained that Drakon had OTSRs. Overall, then, I really enjoyed Flight of the Pterosaur; I think it’s possibly still my favourite coaster on park: After Pterosaur, we started to head over to the other side of the park, riding a ride that my parents hadn’t ridden before… Ghostly Manor Ghostly Manor was on an advertised 25 minute queue, so as my mum and dad hadn’t ridden it before, we decided to all take a ride on there together. The 25 minute queue was somewhat overstated, with the queue taking more like 10 minutes; I can never moan when that happens! So, how was it? Well, we all enjoyed it; as much as it’s nothing groundbreaking, I think it’s quite a nice little ride, with some nice scenes, a fun level of spooky for a young child audience and a fun shooting ride experience! On a side note, I also got a score of around 64,000, which I think might be the highest score I’ve ever managed on there: After riding Ghostly Manor, we headed into Tornado Springs to ride our next coaster… Storm Chaser Storm Chaser was on an advertised queue time of 10 minutes, so my dad and I decided to give it a go, with my mum politely declining. The 10 minute queue time was, if anything, overstated, as my dad and I got on within 5 minutes. You can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, we were sat in row 3, and despite not being the world’s biggest fan of spinning coasters in general, I always find Storm Chaser a good, fun ride, with a level of spinning that’s fun without being excessive and some nice speed and punchy corners. Similarly to Pterosaur, it has a surprisingly intense helix! My dad also enjoyed the ride more than he’d remembered, saying that he’d remembered the spinning being worse than it was (we did have a particularly spinny last ride in 2021, to be fair). While I’m talking about Storm Chaser, I also have to say that operations were excellent on there; with 2 trains running, throughputs of 800-900pph being attained and trains frequently not stacking: After getting off Storm Chaser, the queue remained short, so I went straight back round for another go! I was once again seated in row 3, and the ride was once again great fun! After my reride on Storm Chaser, I headed to do a flat ride in Tornado Springs… Cyclonator Cyclonator was on an advertised 20 minute queue time, so I decided to take a ride on there, with mum and dad politely declining. The 20 minute queue time was broadly accurate, which I can never moan about! So, how was it? Well, I remember giving a relatively scathing review of Cyclonator in 2021, citing it as “vile” or words to that effect, but in 2025, I found it a lot more palatable, if not an absolute favourite of mine. In 2026, my verdict is that I substantially overhated it in 2021 and my 2025 thoughts were something closer to my current sentiments. The ride has some good airtime and speed that I enjoy, but the spinning makes me feel a teensy bit nauseous and I controversially much prefer the non-spinning variants of these swinging pendulum rides. I also don’t particularly like the OTSRs on this ride, as I feel like they impede the airtime. I’ll admit my ride on Cyclonator today reaffirmed to me that I’m unsure whether I’ll necessarily get the hype for Aviktas at Blackpool Pleasure Beach; while it does have lap bars, it still spins, and I think I personally much favour the non-spinning variants like the S&S Screamin’ Swing: After getting off Cyclonator, I met back up with my parents and we headed to ride… Cat-O-Pillar Cat-O-Pillar was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so me and my mum decided to ride it. The 5 minute queue was if anything overstated, as we waltzed straight onto row 4; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, it was definitely a fun little ride; I always find the Tivolis quite charming, and this one is no exception! I’ll admit they are slightly more uncomfortable when you’re not the only adult in a row, but even still, the ride was good fun with some areas where it gained moderate speed and the charm that always comes with those long Tivoli trains!: After getting off Cat-O-Pillar, we headed back over to the other side of the park with the original intent of riding Velociraptor, but we noticed that a certain draw had reopened following a breakdown on a shorter queue than earlier… Drakon Drakon was on an advertised 50 minute queue time, so as it was the main reason for our visiting and this was a shorter queue than earlier, we decided to bite the bullet and join the queue. The ride had a few “temporary delays” while we waited, but even with this, we were on in around 30 minutes, which I can’t moan about for a new ride on its opening day! Incidentally, I should add that we stopped towards the top of the vertical lift hill on our first ride… which we initially thought made us unique, but turned out that this was happening a fair amount! So, how was the ride? Well, I was quite critical of Paultons building a Euro-Fighter, so I was interested to see how I found it. I have to say that in isolation, it is undeniably a fun ride that suits the park and its market well, and while I maintain that a Euro-Fighter is a conservative hardware choice, I was perhaps unduly harsh on the choice in some regards. While perhaps not the most forceful or exciting ride, Drakon is a smooth ride by Euro-Fighter standards, the beyond-vertical drop on these is always good fun, and the stall is actually quite good (or would be… more on this in the next sentence). However… there’s a but coming, and that’s that I still think it would have been audibly better with lap bars. This may not have been helped by the fact that I was thoroughly stapled in by the operator, but I found that the OTSRs absolutely crushed my thighs and made the stall in particular somewhat uncomfortable. Away from the track and train, I also liked the theming of the ride; I loved little details like the sheep “powering” the lift hill, and I thought the pre-lift dark ride section was also a nice surprise! All in all, then, I think Drakon is a good, fun ride as a starter thrill coaster for the younger guests. I think it could have been a notably better ride with lap bars, and if I’m being picky, I maintain that this would not have been my personal first choice of coaster, but in isolation, I think it’s a fun ride that works well. I don’t think it’s my personal favourite coaster in the park (I’d still put Pterosaur and Storm Chaser ahead of it, at very least), but it’s a fun ride, it’s a welcome step up, and I hope it works well for them: After getting off Drakon, me and my mum headed to ride our last new-for-the-day coaster… Velociraptor Velociraptor was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so we decided to take a ride on there. The 5 minute advertised queue time was true to its word, with us being batched onto row 5 within 5 minutes (all the 5’s!). But how was the ride? Well, it was smooth and good fun, with the train carrying good speed through the layout, but I’ll admit I don’t rate it quite as highly as the park’s other family coasters, as I’m not the biggest fan of the backwards section. From memory, I would rank it slightly higher than Accelerator at Drayton Manor, however: After Velociraptor, my mum and dad decided they’d ridden enough and deserted me to go and do peaceful things like riding the train and looking at the animals, so having been left to my own devices, I initially decided to get into the advertised 45 minute queue for another ride on Drakon. I only waited 25 minutes this time, and unlike some rides where my opinion notably improved with a second ride, my thoughts remained very similar to the first time around: After getting off Drakon, I went for another ride on Raven, where I would later realise that I had been batched in the same car as at least two other members of TowersStreet Talk. Had I been sure of this in the queue or on the ride, I may have said something, but even still; hello to you two, if you’re reading! I’m sorry I didn’t say hello at the time! As with before, the ride itself was fun even if the hairpin turn section is a tad too sharp for my liking, and I like that the ride is now properly themed: After getting off Raven, I went for another reride on Flight of the Pterosaur. I was seated in row 8 this time, and it was once again really good fun: After getting off Flight of the Pterosaur, I headed over to Storm Chaser for another reride. I was in the back row this time, and it was once again good fun: After getting off Storm Chaser, I headed over to Drakon for one final ride. My thoughts on it remained very similar to earlier, although it was raining a little this time, which made the vertical lift hill… interesting, to say the least: After getting off Drakon, I met back up with my parents, and as it was 3:30pm, it was starting to rain more heavily, my parents were keen to escape said rain and I was quite content with what I’d ridden for the day, we decided to call it quits there and head on home: So, that wraps up my day at Paultons Park for the opening day of Valgard! I had a really good day; it was interesting to experience an opening day (I’ve genuinely never seen so many handheld GoPros in one place in my life… I’ll be staggered if I’m not in the background of at least a few vlogs!), it was interesting to experience Paultons Park on a busier day than my last visit, and it was great to see the new area and coaster for the first time! Valgard is a lovely area; it’s another resounding success for Paultons Park as far as I’m concerned, and I liked the inclusion of some additional show elements compared to some of their prior areas! As critical as I was (and to some degree remain) of Paultons building a Euro-Fighter, I do think Drakon is a fun coaster that the target audience will enjoy, even if it’s not threatening my personal top 10 and I do think it would have benefitted from lap bars rather than OTSRs, and I do applaud Paultons for upping the thrills. As for the park more widely; while Drakon did have its teething issues, I thought the crowds were dealt with very well, on the whole. I got 15 rides in 6-ish hours, which I’m going to declare a huge success for the opening day of a major new area, and I’ll admit that Paultons have either upped their game operationally or I haven’t given them enough credit previously, as I thought operations across the park were excellent and very prompt! As much as it’s one that isn’t quite on my personal annual “must visit regardless of investment levels” list yet, the park remains a very pleasant one to visit and has an admirable focus on guest experience. Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! I’m not too sure when my next trip report will be, but if not before, I’ll definitely be coming at you with a report at the end of June, which will likely be from my first ever visit to Parc Asterix in France!

I have used the Thorpe Park bus before, but the one time I did, it was rammed to the point where it bordered on uncomfortable, so I decided against it on future visits. Were you on park as well? It was certainly a brilliant day for riding!

12th May 2026: Thorpe Park My period between jobs is rolling on, so with me having secured a permanent role, I thought; why not use the Merlin pass once again and go for a midweek Thorpe Park visit? I know I was only in Thorpe a month or so ago, but I made the spur-of-the-moment trip decision after noticing the quiet crowds last week and I like Thorpe. Sue me! I left home at about 6:30 this morning, arriving at Bristol Parkway just after 7am to take a 7:29 train to Staines, with a change in Reading. As a fun aside, I noticed the head of my directorate from my previous job waiting on the platform, but based on his suit and tie, I’d hazard a guess that he wasn’t heading to Thorpe Park! I arrived in Staines within just under 2 hours, and with all running to time, an Uber to the park and a non-existent security queue got me through the gates at just before 9:45, putting me in good stead for my first ride at opening time: Upon getting in, I repeated my usual Thorpe Park strategy and started with… Colossus While it looks like everyone heads in this direction at park opening time on paper, they’re all heading to Hyperia in reality, so I still stand by Colossus as a strong starting point in the morning. Today, I walked onto row 2 of the very first train of the day; the strategy hasn’t failed me yet! So, how was Colossus? Well, it’s never an absolute favourite of mine due to those extremely uncomfortable trains, but I have to say that it was running quite well this morning; the first half was smooth and had great speed and forces, and even the second half, while not a favourite of mine, seemed more enjoyable than usual! All in all, then, I’m considering that a win as far as Colossus is concerned; it was running well, and it was a good way to start the day: After I got off Colossus, I pondered my usual strategy of heading for a single rider ride on Saw, but the ride was still closed, so I instead decided to head for… Hyperia Hyperia was on an advertised 20 minute queue, but as my last visit showed me that the single rider queue is often quiet first thing, I decided to take a gamble on using that. And this proved a prudent gamble, as I waited a mere 5 minutes to be batched onto row 3. I’ve never seen Hyperia’s single rider queue that quiet before! But how was it? Well, Hyperia has always been a favourite of mine, and today was no exception; the ride was stunning! I’m going to come out with a strong sentiment and say that with more rides, I increasingly think that first drop might possibly be my favourite in the world; it’s a complete riot wherever you sit, with phenomenal sustained ejector that flings you way out of your seat and holds you there and the twist adding a really interesting additional dimension of forces compared to a regular straight drop! As much as I’m an advocate of good, straight airtime on rides over being unconventional for the sake of it, I would also have to say that that outerbank is truly insane and probably the most convincing example of non-traditional weightlessness I’ve ridden! The junior Immelmann and stall are great too… and to be honest, all of it’s pretty phenomenal! The ride is also incredibly smooth, comfortable and rerideable (I swear it feels smoother than it did in 2024, if anything), and when combined with the awesome airtime and speed, that makes it a true winner in my book! All in all, then, I was thrilled to get back on Hyperia; it’s easily my favourite coaster in the UK, and right up there in my top 5 overall, which is no mean feat when I’ve done nearly 150 coasters: After I got off Hyperia, I decided to take advantage of the very short single rider queue and partake in not one, but two back-to-back rerides after that. I had a row 2 followed by a back row, and while both were sublime, I think getting on the back counteracted a comment I made in my last Thorpe trip report. Last time, I thought Hyperia might well be a coaster best ridden in the front half of the train after experiencing the front half for the first time… but having reridden the back, there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s a back row coaster for me, as much as it’s sublime in every row. The back row experience of that first drop alone settles it for me; as much as it hits hard in any row, the back is just narrowly where it hits hardest and it is my favourite element on the ride! After three back-to-back rides on Hyperia, I decided it was time to explore the rest of the park. Saw was still having some trouble opening, so I instead decided to head towards a B&M instead… Nemesis Inferno Nemesis Inferno was on an advertised 5 minute queue time and I hadn’t ridden it yet, so I decided to take advantage of this and give it a go. The queue time board was true to its word, and I was seated in row 4 within 5 minutes; it’s always good when that happens! So, how was it? Well, I’ve always liked Nemesis Inferno, and today was no exception! The ride was smooth with excellent forces and speed and some great inversions; what’s not to like? I also have some indecision in my mind about whether I rank it or Nemesis higher; as much as Inferno has the more conventional layout of the two, I quite like how it runs: After getting off Nemesis Inferno, I headed to a flat ride… Detonator Detonator was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so I decided to give it a go. The queue time board stayed true to its word, with me waiting only one cycle to board. So, how was it? Well, I do love a good drop tower, and Detonator is always an excellent one, with a wonderfully punchy drop! I always think these Fabbri models have more punch to them than you expect: After Detonator, I headed to a different coaster… Stealth Stealth was on an advertised 10 minute queue, so I decided to take a ride on there. The 10 minute queue was if anything slightly overstated, taking around 5 minutes, which is always great! So, how was the ride? Well, I do always love Stealth, and today was no exception; that hydraulic launch is so punchy, the airtime is great, and the speed is wonderful! I’ll admit that the more I ride it, the more I’m not a fan of the restraints on there; if it had the lap bars like Red Force, we’d be onto a winner. However, this is a minor niggle rather than a deal breaker; I still think it’s an absolutely awesome ride: After my first ride on Stealth, I had a reride while the queue was still short and I was still in the area. I was seated in the back once again, and it was once again awesome! After my reride on Stealth, I headed down towards another big coaster I hadn’t yet ridden during the day, but on the way over, I couldn’t resist another reride on Hyperia. Single rider delivered the goods in the form of a 5-10 minute wait once again, I was seated in row 6, and the ride was once again phenomenal! On a side note, I should add that unlike the typical trope of airtime trying to undress riders, Hyperia tried its very hardest to redress me each time I rode it; I was wearing a waterproof coat with the hood down, and without fail, the airtime in some of the elements made it fly up and stay over my head every time!: After Hyperia, I finally headed towards the coaster I was referring to before… Saw: The Ride Saw was on an advertised 30 minute queue, but as with Hyperia, I was able to exploit the secret weapon of the single rider queue to shorten this. Single rider delivered once again, with me only waiting 5-10 minutes for my ride on Saw; I can never moan about that! So, how was it? Well, Saw is never an absolute favourite of mine, but it wasn’t running too badly today. It was a bit rough in areas, but not too terrible. With time, one thing I have also grown to appreciate about Saw is the airtime; it’s not exactly known for airtime, but there are quite a few surprising pops of ejector throughout the ride, which I always like! The Euro-Fighter as a ride style is never the most comfortable and is rarely an absolute favourite of mine as a result, but with all things considered, Saw was running quite well today. It also provided me with a very fresh point of comparison for when I go and ride Drakon for the first time at the weekend: After Saw, I went to do another flat ride favourite of mine (and it’s rare that you hear me call a flat ride a “favourite”!)… Rush Rush was on an advertised 5 minute queue time. In actuality, this ended up being a walk-on for me, as I was batched into the next cycle that was about to be loaded; I can never moan about that! So, how was the ride? Well, despite not being a huge fan of flat rides on the whole, I’ve always liked Rush, and today was no exception! While somewhat repetitive as all flat rides are, I like the fact that it focuses on airtime and speed rather than spinning or repetitive forces, and I find the airtime at each peak and speed in each trough great fun! I do, however, bemoan the cycle on there; Rush runs quite a weak cycle, and only 1 or 2 full height swings were offered up today. As a point of comparison, I would say Rush in its current state feels markedly tamer than Serengeti Flyer at Busch Gardens Tampa, which ran a much longer cycle and had absolutely bags of sustained airtime and probably sits as my favourite non-drop tower flat ride as a result. Even still, I do always enjoy Rush, and I was glad to get on it: After Rush, I went to ride my final big coaster that I hadn’t yet ridden during the day… The Swarm The Swarm was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, so as I hadn’t yet ridden it today, I decided to take a ride on there. As promised, I only waited around 5 minutes before swiftly taking my seat in row 5. So, how was it? Well, I’ve always had a soft spot for Swarm, and while I’ve gone up and down on it over the years, it was running really well today! The first drop, with that awesome sensation of diving towards the ground, is truly ace, I love the floaty inversions, with the last roll being a particular highlight, and I also love the sheer sense of speed that the winged trains provide! It’s also a really smooth experience that is easy to reride and enjoy, and while the vest restraints aren’t my absolute favourite, they don’t lock and tighten as badly as they used to and the ride is more enjoyable for it. Overall, then, I had a fantastic ride on Swarm; I always enjoy it, and perhaps controversially, I increasingly think it might be my 2nd favourite coaster on park behind Hyperia again after a few years of having been lower down and behind Stealth: After getting off Swarm, the queue had shortened, so while I was in the area, I decided to partake in not one, but two back-to-back rerides. I had a back row and another row 5, and these were once again fantastic! After my rerides on Swarm, I headed for a reride on Detonator. Once again, it was an absolutely awesome drop tower with a surprising amount of kick for its size, and on this ride, they were interestingly running a slightly different audio track about it being “time to drop the gondola” that didn’t reference any of the firework theming that the regular one does: I then went for a reride on Nemesis Inferno. I was in row 6 this time, and it was once again great: I then went for another single rider queue reride on Hyperia. I was in row 7 this time, and it was once again sublime: I then sat down and ate my packed lunch before heading for not one, not two, but three brilliant back-to-back rerides on Stealth, in row 6, row 8 and row 9 respectively: I then went for another reride on Nemesis Inferno. I was on the back this time, and it was once again an awesome ride: After that, I went for another brilliant Detonator reride, where normal service seemed to have resumed from an audio perspective: I then went for three back-to-back rerides on The Swarm, in row 5, row 6 and row 5 respectively. Once again, these were excellent: After that, I went for another great walk-on ride on Rush; it was nice to spice the rerides up a little with a flat ride: After Rush, I went for another sublime Hyperia reride in row 7. I tried the main queue this time, as it had fallen to an advertised 10 minutes and single rider looked longer than earlier, but I’m not sure that single rider wouldn’t have been better, as it ultimately took 15. Even still, it moved quicker than single rider, still wasn’t particularly long, and wasn’t exactly impeding ride count given that this was the 27th ride of the day, so I can’t really complain: I then went for a reride on Nemesis Inferno. I was sat on the back this time, and it was awesome once again: After that, I was originally going to go for more rerides on Stealth and/or Swarm, but Stealth was closed and Hyperia remained short, so seeing as I was unlikely to ever see the Hyperia single rider queue so short again, I decided to take full advantage and park myself in Fearless Valley for the rest of the day (it was about 3:40pm by this point, and the park shut at 5pm). Unoriginal, I know, but Hyperia is easily my favourite ride on park and I’d had a perfectly good fill of the other coasters between this visit end my visit last month. Between 3:40 and park close, I managed 7 back-to-back rerides on Hyperia using the single rider queue, in a variety of different rows. I was unfortunately sat on the left hand side for a number of them, where the host seemed intent on stapling me to death each time, but on my final row 6 ride, I was sat on the right hand side, where I had possibly my loosest lap bar ever on Hyperia and flew miles out of the seat like never before on that first drop! On the plus side, the stapled rides did show me that Hyperia most certainly passes the stapling test in that it still hits hard with airtime even when you’re stapled in. That is not necessarily a given on an airtime machine! This sequence of rerides was a lovely way to finish off the day, and after a number of visits where I’ve only managed 2 rides on it, I was very pleased to close out the day with 13 Hyperia rides in total: After that, park close had arrived, so I headed out of the park and made my way back home, arriving back into Bristol Parkway at around 8pm. So, that wraps up my day at Thorpe Park! I had an absolutely amazing day; the park was nice and quiet, which meant that getting lots of rides in was easy! If you lost count, I managed 35 rides in total, which is the most I’ve ever managed at Thorpe Park (or any Merlin park, for that matter) and second only to 51 rides during last June’s deserted Paultons Park day overall. I can’t moan about that! My final ride tallies were: 13x Hyperia 6x The Swarm 5x Stealth 4x Nemesis Inferno 3x Detonator 2x Rush 1x Saw: The Ride 1x Colossus This day underscored to me how much I love Thorpe Park on days like this. On a day where I’m alone with short queues, there are very few parks I would pick to be in over Thorpe. The ride lineup is a wonderful one to reride, as you have lots of great choices! My definite highlight is Hyperia, but the likes of Swarm, Stealth and Inferno are also there to provide additional variety! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! My next one will actually be arriving very soon, as I’m unexpectedly going to be attending the opening day of Valgard at Paultons Park on Saturday! It will be interesting to attend an opening day, if nothing else, and I can’t wait to see what the new land has to offer!

Is Hyperia on one train or something? I’ve noticed that it’s currently on ~60 minutes while no other thrill ride in the park is above 10 and the only other thing above 10 full stop is Ghost Train at 25…

24th April 2026: Alton Towers I had my second day of the trip today, with a visit to Alton Towers! While it was the less exciting day of the trip in terms of new things and I was last at the park only 4 weeks ago, it has some of my favourite rides in the country, entry is free with my Merlin pass, and I always love a day there, so I frankly thought; why not? Once again, I started my day early, getting up at 6am, getting down to breakfast for 6:30am, and leaving for the railway station at just after 7am for a 7:51 train to Uttoxeter from Nottingham. This was delayed by 15 minutes or so due to a broken CrossCountry train near Beeston, but even still, I got to Uttoxeter railway station before 9am. I then took an Uber to the park, where I had a driver who initially moaned about being pulled in all the way from Leicester, but was very friendly and chatty. My Uber got me there for around 9:25, meaning that I got to the park in plenty of time: After getting into the park, I repeated my usual tactic with Alton Towers and headed for less well-trodden turf… Rita As per usual, I headed over to Dark Forest as this is where the crowds don’t tend to head in the morning. This played into my hands wonderfully once again, as I was the very first person in line for Rita; I can never moan about that! So, how was it? Well, I was of course sat at the very front of the train, and it was awesome, with a brilliant sense of speed, a punchy launch and some great airtime! I do always like a ride on Rita, and it was a good way to start the day: After getting off Rita, Thirteen wasn’t yet open, so I initially headed for a reride. I walked on the ride again, and was initially batched into row 3, but the ride unfortunately broke down, so after a few minutes, I bailed and headed out of Dark Forest. As the ride was still shut when I later re-entered the area, this proved to be a prudent choice! After leaving Dark Forest, I headed for a ride on a favourite of mine that wasn’t open last month… Oblivion Oblivion was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so as I hadn’t ridden it in March, I decided to take a ride on there. The queue looked a short length, but because I’m petty and fancied shaving even more time off my wait, I still decided to gamble with single rider. This proved to be somewhat prudent, as I pretty much walked straight onto the ride! But how was it? Well, the ride was excellent; I always love a go on Oblivion, and today was no exception! The airtime was awesome, and the speed in the tunnel was on point! As an added bonus, I also noticed that the ride unexpectedly has drop audio back for the first time in decades; evidently, Alton Towers is now less concerned about noise than it used to be! Overall, then, I loved getting back on Oblivion; it’s definitely one of my favourites on park, as it packs a punch despite its short length: After getting off Oblivion, I headed over to the other coaster in the area… The Smiler The Smiler was on an advertised 35 minute queue time, but as I was on my own, I decided to give my secret weapon of single rider a go once again. This was a good choice, as single rider only took 10 minutes; it’s always great when you get a win with single rider! So, how was the ride? Well, Smiler’s never an absolute favourite of mine, and it was running with an ever so slight case of square wheels today in row 3, with a definite rattle and some moments of roughness, so it was probably a ride I felt content only doing once. With that said, some of the inversions are fun, and the airtime hills are always a highlight on there! All in all, then, Smiler had some good bits, but was overall not a favourite of mine today: After The Smiler, I headed back over to Dark Forest to ride the other, now open, coaster in the area… Thirteen Thirteen was on an advertised 5 minute queue time, but as with Oblivion earlier, there was a small queue and I was feeling petty, so I decided to use single rider once again. And once again, I pretty much walked straight into row 2, which I can never complain about! So, how was the ride? Well, I always enjoy a ride on Thirteen, and today was no exception! While the outdoor section isn’t quite as good up front, it’s still great fun, and that drop track and backwards section never gel to deliver! All in all, then, my ride on Thirteen was great fun; I certainly enjoyed it: After my first Thirteen ride, the queue was still a near walk-on, so I decided to head straight back round for another go! I was in row 2 once again, and it was fun once again! After getting off my second Thirteen ride, I decided to change things up a tad… Hex Hex was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so as I hadn’t yet done it in 2026, I decided to take a ride on there. The queue was roughly as advertised, which I can never complain about; Hex is quite a reliable short queue! While queueing for and experiencing Hex, some guests I spoke to and overheard today did make it dawn on me that Hex might be lost on a not insignificant portion of Alton Towers’ visitor base. For example, a group of teenage girls asked me if it was a roller coaster or thrill ride, and when I attempted to describe Hex (admittedly I perhaps might not have described it very well), they said it sounded “boring” and left the line. I also overheard someone saying “I skipped Rita for this?” and most amusingly of all, I heard someone say upon us entering the cinema room “Ooh, they’re showing a movie! I do hope it’s Shrek!”… I imagine they were disappointed! But how was Hex? Well, I do like Hex, and the pre-shows and effects were all running well! Today’s ride also reaffirmed to me that I really enjoy some of the new(ish) changes in there; I love how the drama and impact is heightened! I’ll admit to being increasingly unsure whether the Madhouse ride system itself agrees with me, but Hex is definitely my favourite example of the genre for the clever use of a real setting and the pure drama of it. All in all, then, I enjoyed Hex, and I’m glad I took a ride on there: After Hex, I headed out of the Towers complex and towards another coaster that I’m always keen to ride! Wicker Man Wicker Man was on an advertised 25 minute queue, so I decided to have a go on there. The queue was marginally understated, taking around 20 minutes, and the operations were great on here, with 3 trains in action and a seemingly slick service! But how was the ride itself? Well, I was sat in row 5, and as per usual, Wicker Man was phenomenal! Perhaps controversially, it’s been my favourite coaster on park for years, and that’s just for how much fun it is! The ride flies through the layout, has some great bits of airtime and overall just absolutely creases me every time on the brake run! All in all, then, I loved getting back on Wicker Man; I always look forward to a ride on there: After getting off Wicker Man, the queue was shorter than when I joined, so I went for not one, but two consecutive rerides! One was in row 7 and one was in row 10, and while the row 10 ride was the best one, both were sublime! When the queue was getting shorter each time to the point where I had a clear run to the baggage hold at one stage, who would I be to pass that up? After my 3 rides on Wicker Man, I headed over to Forbidden Valley to do a favourite I hadn’t done yet… Nemesis Reborn Nemesis was on an advertised 5 minute queue, so I decided to have a ride on there. If anything, 5 minutes was overstated, as I walked straight into the airgates for a row 7 ride; I can never moan when that happens! So, how was Nemesis? Well, it was fantastic; I always love a ride on Nemesis, and the ride was on point today! I always find the layout really exciting on there, with that initial sequence in particular being an awesome way to start the ride, and I also think it’s wonderfully paced! I admit I maybe noticed the much-discussed rattle a tad more today than I have, but I still think it’s not a detractor from the ride and is enormously over-discussed. If you want a properly rattly invert, go to Skegness, if you ask me! All in all, then, I thoroughly enjoyed my ride on Nemesis: After getting off Nemesis, the queue remained walk-on, so I went straight back round for another lap! I was batched onto the front row this time, which is always a winner; the sense of speed is heightened wonderfully in the front! I then sat down and had my lunch (a Co-op meal deal once again, as I’m tight!). After that, I pondered a ride on Galactica, but decided I couldn’t be bothered with it on an advertised 25 minute queue when Nemesis was walk-on, so I went for a 3rd ride on Nemesis instead. My row 2 ride was once again superb! After my 3rd ride on Nemesis, I headed for another dark ride… The Curse at Alton Manor Curse was on an advertised 5 minute wait, so as I was heading back towards the centre of Alton Towers, I decided to give it a go. The queue time board was true to its word, with only a few people in front of me; it’s always good when that happens! So, how was the ride? Well, I do enjoy a ride on Curse, and today’s ride was nice! The Trommel tunnel was disappointingly broken, but other than that, most things were working quite well! Despite not being a horror fan, I think Curse is just the right level of scare and horror for me to enjoy, so I liked my ride on there: After Curse, I headed for another reride on Wicker Man, on an advertised 15 minute queue that actually took more like 10 and was again an almost straight run through to the baggage hold. I was seated in row 4 this time, and the ride was once again phenomenally good fun: After Wicker Man, I headed to a coaster I hadn’t yet done… Spinball Whizzer Spinball was on an advertised 15 minute queue, but I decided to use the single rider queue on here once again. This proved fruitful, as I was on in less than 5 minutes; I frequently find single rider a winning formula for getting on rides quickly! So, how was it? Well, the ride had a good level of spinning without being too intense, but was a bit rougher than my ride last month. Spinball isn’t an absolute favourite of mine, but I sometimes wonder if I’ve maybe been too harsh on it at times: After my ride on Spinball, I headed to X-Sector to reride Oblivion on a short queue. I had not one, not two, not three, not four, but five consecutive rerides on Oblivion. The queue got so short that I eventually stopped bothering with single rider, and all 5 rides were absolutely brilliant, with awesome airtime and speed: After my 5 rides on Oblivion, I headed for one final reride on Wicker Man, on another short queue. I scored the holy grail of row 12 for this final ride, which I think I’ve only ever had once before, and it was sublime; this was a brilliant way to end the day: After that, I headed out of the park for the day to wait for an Uber back to Uttoxeter station: Now from a travel standpoint, this is where things get hairy. I was firstly shocked to discover that an Uber between Alton Towers and Uttoxeter railway station at park closing time cost over £50 (yes, 50 English pounds!), and then I also felt implored to tip slightly more generously because the driver moaned about how Uber only gave him £27 of the fee I was charged and I felt bad. After that, I returned to Uttoxeter railway station to take the train home, but the train was unfortunately delayed indefinitely shortly after I arrived, meaning that I was unable to make my other connections and had to come up with a new plan. I decided to catch another Uber to Derby railway station, initially out of blind hope that I might still be able to make my original connections, but this ultimately proved a costly mistake (although this Uber was actually only £25 despite the longer distance than the one I’d just taken), as I still missed my connections and was no better off in terms of arrival time home. Live and learn, I guess! My train journey home took me to Derby as well as Cheltenham Spa for a nice flashback to my undergraduate uni days before I arrived back in my local station at 9:15pm: So, that wraps up my day at Alton Towers! I had an excellent day; in case you lost track, I did 21 rides in total, which is my first ever time doing over 20 at Towers in 17 years of visiting! Despite the favourable weather, the park was quite quiet, and I was able to strike fairly short queues on most attractions, which I can never moan about! I do always love a trip to Alton Towers, and today was no exception; nostalgia aside, I do think it has some of the UK’s best rides and is just generally a great park, as much as people love to moan about it! That’s not just the end of my day at Alton Towers, but also the end of the trip. It’s been a brilliant trip; I was really glad to finally get to Skegness and tick off Fantasy Island, but I also had a brilliant day at Towers too! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! I’m not sure where my next trip will be, but I’m sure it won’t be far away, so keep your eyes peeled!

Prelude After a successful solo trip to Adventure Island and Thorpe Park the other week, I decided to make the most of my time off work before starting my new job and go on another trip away. And given that I only had one real semi-major park left to visit in the UK, I thought; what better park to do than that? So as a result, I strategised quite a spur-of-the-moment trip to the Midlands, consisting of both a first time visit to Fantasy Island in Lincolnshire after talking about going for a couple of years and a Merlin pass visit to Alton Towers (I know I was only last in Alton Towers 4 weeks ago, but the entry is free, I want to make use of my Merlin pass, it’s close to my choice of halfway point and I like Towers. Sue me!). In order to break up the ridiculously long rail journey to Skegness from my location (5+ hours), I decided to stay in Nottingham for 2 nights and travel up yesterday. I don’t have a huge amount to say about yesterday, but as a first-time visitor to Nottingham (and aside from a stop in Trowell services along the M1, the East Midlands full stop!), I did amble quite steadily to my hotel and try and take in my surroundings, and I did see these cool Robin Hood statues by the castle: I also came within touching distance of David off the recent series of Celebrity Traitors in Nottingham station on my way up, which I’m putting down as my most noteworthy celebrity sighting! Other than that, I can’t think of much else to mention. Nottingham is a lot like any other town centre in Britain, with some nice old buildings, but my hotel is in the student district near Nottingham Trent University and that has seen me be immersed in amongst some… interesting crowds at times. Anyway, let’s get onto the meat of the first park day… 23rd April 2026: Fantasy Island My Fantasy Island day started early. I got up at 6am, rope dropped breakfast in the hotel at 6:30am (I’m not sure that expression works quite as well outside of a theme park context…) and made my way to the station at just after 7am in time for a 7:41 train to Skegness. This train took a bit over 2 hours and was very prompt, although I have to say that the line between Grantham and Skegness has some of the bounciest sections of railway line I’ve ever ridden… after getting off the train, I got onto a very opportunely timed bus to Ingoldmells, passing key sights of the area like Botton’s Pleasure Beach (unfortunately closed, or else I might have considered grabbing the creds!) and Butlin’s. This got me to the park with plenty of time to spare: Upon reaching Fantasy Island, it wasn’t even 10:30am and the rides opened at 11am, so I had some time to kill. Seeing as I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going either, I decided to have a wander around and take a few pictures: Now this is where I was getting my first feel for Fantasy Island as a park, and at this point, I feel I should insert in some stray observations. Firstly, I have to say that it’s possibly one of the strangest parks I’ve ever visited. It’s a park of quite distinct halves, more so than perhaps any other I’ve been to; the indoor section is surprisingly heavily themed and atmospheric, whereas the outdoor section has a very permanent funfair-type atmosphere with little to no theming or atmosphere building. Possibly the oddest thing I noticed was the 7-day market; the park has a huge market at its heart with a very eclectic variety of stalls, to say the least. I didn’t browse the market too heavily (or at all, for that matter), but I saw clothes, homeware, garden apparel, towels, weaponry, off-brand merchandise for different brands, and even places where you seemingly could get body modifications including botox (?!). It almost reminded me of going to America for the first time and seeing that you could buy firearms in the same aisle as a roast chicken in Walmart; the range of items is very wide, very odd, and not what I would immediately associate with a theme park. It’s not really my cup of tea, but if you want to ride roller coasters and shop for a wide variety of oddities in the same day, Fantasy Island is the place for you! Anyhow, let me get to the rides. The rides were running in rotation today (hence my not immediately intuitive order of doing them), so I decided to start my day with the key coaster draw that was open for the first 2.5 hours of the day… Millennium Millennium was the thrill coaster open for the first period of the day, so I decided to start there. I was the first person in the queue, so resultantly, I was in the front row of the first train of the day at 11am. It’s great when that happens! So, how was it? Well, I’d always heard of Millennium being referred to as “the smoothest old Vekoma around”, and it was indeed very smooth… but on my first ride, I wasn’t immediately wowed as it seemed like there were large swathes that just… didn’t do a whole lot. Some of the inversions were fun, but on my first ride, there wasn’t a whole lot of kick and it just seemed to trundle around a lot. However, this first ride was also very cold, which was definitely a distractor when I wasn’t yet into the swing of riding for the day, and I didn’t quite have a full feel for the ride yet, so I decided not to make a snap judgement call there. All in all, my initial ride on Millennium was good fun, but not something that immediately wowed me. There is more to come from Millennium later in the day, however: After Millennium, I decided to stay in the pyramid and go for a dark ride… Harrington Flint’s Island Adventures Harrington Flint was nearby, open and walk-on, so I decided to take a ride on there. I was aware that Harrington Flint is a fairly unique dark ride, being the UK’s only use of trackless technology, and also a relatively recent addition, so I was intrigued to see what it was like. So, how was it? Well, I have to say that it was quite a fun little ride! It’s predominantly screen-based, but the screen quality is quite good, and there are some nice bits of physical theming too. I also got 61,000, which as someone who’s rubbish at interactive dark rides, I’m not going to complain about! All in all, then, I enjoyed Harrington Flint; I thought it was a surprisingly well-done ride for a park of this calibre, and I definitely thought it had nice theming and was good fun: After Harrington Flint, I headed back outside to try a flat ride I was wanting to get on… Volcano Volcano was open and walk-on, so I decided to have a ride on there. While I have ridden S&S shot towers plenty of times before, I always enjoy a tower ride, so I was keen to get on Volcano at least once today. As I just mentioned, I walked straight onto the ride, and as I was the only person approaching, I got a completely solo ride, which is always interesting! But how was the ride? Well, I always like a tower ride, and this was quite a good one; the upwards launch was punchy, and there was a very nice pop of air at the top! As S&S shot towers go, I’d say Volcano is one of the better ones I’ve done; I’d certainly take it comfortably over my last memory of Ice Blast (pre-revamp) at Blackpool, for example. I do think my preference overall errs towards a regular drop tower like Detonator over a shot tower, but the shot towers are still great fun and I still thoroughly enjoyed Volcano; at this point of the day, it was perhaps my favourite attraction: After Volcano, I headed for another coaster… Rhombus Express Rhombus Express was once again walk-on (you’re going to get bored of me saying this…), so I decided to take a ride on there. I waltzed straight onto the back row; if Runaway Mine Train at Alton is anything to go by, back is always my seat of choice on a powered coaster! So, how was the ride? Well, I find family powered coasters can be a bit hit and miss, with some like Runaway Mine Train at Alton Towers falling into “surprisingly fun underdog” territory and others like Jormungandr at Drayton Manor being much of a muchness. To my delight, Rhombus Express falls into the former category; this thing absolutely flies! Powered coasters never have overly intense layouts, but this one is taken at some speed and has some great helixes that pack surprising punch; there’s one towards the end in particular that has some really surprising kick! All in all, then, I thought Rhombus Express was an excellent powered coaster that took me by surprise; it falls squarely into that Runaway Mine Train bracket of packing surprising thrills for a family coaster, and as the traditional powered coasters go, it’s right up there with RMT and Europa Park’s previous Alpenexpress as one of the best for me: After Rhombus Express, I headed over to the other side of the park to get another new coaster in… Apple Coaster As many of you will know, I don’t typically do kiddie coasters (although I’m honestly starting to question whether I can say that anymore…), but as Apple Coaster was walk-on and had no one in the vicinity, I decided to give this particular kiddie cred a try. In this particular case, I was actually the only one on the train, so I was batched right at the front on the caterpillar’s face! In terms of the ride itself, there’s not really an awful lot to say; it’s a big apple, and these coasters are what they are: After Apple Coaster, I headed for another ride on Millennium. I was seated in row 4 this time, and for some reason, it definitely clicked much more than the first time! The ride overall seemed more potent and thrilling, and I felt like even some of the gentler sections were more fun and had slightly more purpose. While the layout is quite odd and does have its dead spots, I quite like how the ride almost feels a bit like an adventure around the park; it’s quite good fun to ride! It’s maybe more than the sum of its parts in this sense, and towards the end of the layout, the ride does try to inject a little more spice into the scenic sections: After my reride on Millennium, I had a reride on Volcano, which was my longest queue of the day at the heady heights of 10-15 minutes (only 2 cycles, though). Once again, the ride was great fun, with a punchy launch and some great airtime at the top: After my reride on Volcano, I headed for a reride on Rhombus Express. I only waited one cycle, I sat on the back once again, and the ride was once again a surprisingly good powered coaster; I do have a soft spot for a powered coaster that has a surprising kick: After my reride on Rhombus Express, I sat down in the pyramid and had lunch. I was frugal on this occasion and had purchased a Co-op meal deal in Nottingham station, but I did get the added bonus of seeing a surprisingly elaborate-looking projection mapping show, complete with lighting, voiceover and fake snow, while I was sat in the pyramid. This was a nice touch and fun to watch, but perfectly sums up my point from earlier about the park being one of two halves, I feel; you almost wouldn’t think the pyramid and the outdoor area were in the same park. After lunch, I went for not one, but two back-to-back rerides on Millennium. One was in row 3 and one was in the back, and once again, these were good fun; the ride definitely grew on me after my initial ride in the morning: I then went for another reride on Rhombus Express. The host had changed and I was made to sit in row 2 this time, but I still only waited one cycle and the ride was still really good fun; even in the front, it packed a punch: After my reride on Rhombus Express, I went for one final reride on Millennium. I walked onto row 3, and the ride was once again really good fun; despite my cold demeanour towards it in the morning, it had definitely risen in my estimations with additional rides to fall solidly into “good little ride, that” territory by the time it shut for the day. It’s not quite overall top quartile or UK top 10 material for me, but it’s a good, fun ride for sure and probably my favourite coaster across any of the 4 East Coast parks I’ve been to (Fantasy Island, Adventure Island, Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach and Pleasurewood Hills): After my final reride on Millennium, the next ride rotation was about to open (the open rides, aside from a select few that stayed open all day, changed at 1:30pm), so I decided to pre-emptively get into the queue for my other main draw to Fantasy Island… Odyssey It was approaching 1:30pm, so I decided to head over to Odyssey and pre-emptively wait for it to open. The changeover maybe wasn’t completely seamless, so the ride ended up opening at more like 1:45pm after some minutes of waiting for the staff to arrive and pre-testing. Even still, I was one of the first on the first train of the day, so I walked straight into row 2; I can never quibble with that, even if I might have liked the front for my first go! So, how did I find Odyssey? Well, despite it being an SLC, Odyssey seems to get a fair amount of praise, so with Kumali also being pretty enjoyable and proving to me that SLCs are not a complete lost cause as a ride type if they aren’t the standard layout, I entered Odyssey with some cautious optimism. As much as I Ioathe Infusion, I do love a big, fast coaster, so I thought; surely Odyssey’s sheer height and speed will make it a fairly decent ride, even if not top end material? Alas, these hopes were dashed upon hitting the bottom of the first drop, where I quickly realised that a big, fast SLC is sadly still an SLC. The rush down towards the ground is pretty impressive, but as soon as you pull any kind of force, the train just bashes you around horribly; it bounced up and down aggressively to such an extent that it made my stomach hurt while also relentlessly bashing your head between the restraints. The first couple of elements are undeniably impressive in scale, but are so rough that they’re difficult to enjoy, and after that, it just seems to devolve into doing very little aside from being utterly brutal and beating you up high above the ground. I dearly wanted Odyssey to be an underdog like Kumali, but for me, I’m afraid the ride just wasn’t enjoyable at all, I definitely found it overhyped, and I’d go as far as to say that after my first ride, I perhaps controversially rated it right down there with Infusion (I’m genuinely not sure whether I actually preferred it to my last go on Infusion, in fact) and was stunned that a coaster of such scale could be so awful to ride. I felt I should give it another go later to be fair, however: After my first ride on Odyssey, I headed to go and grab my final credit of the day… Snow Drift Snow Drift had just opened and was the last coaster I needed and was able to ride at Fantasy Island (being well over 1.6m tall, I didn’t even attempt Jellikins), so I headed to take a ride on it. I only waited one car or so for my ride; I can never complain about that! So, how was it? Well, I discovered that despite this apparently being a Mellors-built coaster, it is basically a clone of the Reverchon spinning wild mice that I know and hate, and resultantly, it just wasn’t a ride experience I enjoyed. I just don’t like the strong laterals on these wild mouse coasters, and while this one wasn’t an outstandingly bad example of the ride type, none of them are coasters I rate simply due to the intrinsic nature of them not being something I overly enjoy: After Snow Drift, I went for a reride on Odyssey, hoping for it to redeem itself and for us to have a repeat of the Millennium saga from earlier in the day. Alas, I was in row 2 again, and such hopes were quickly dashed; it was just as awful as it was the first time: Feeling slightly delicate after a rough ride on Odyssey, I then decided to go into the pyramid to find something else to do. I resultantly went on a bit of a journey of discovery doing a few random attractions, starting with… Toucan Tours I had no idea what Toucan Tours was, but the entrance made it sound intriguing, so I decided to give it a go. I waited around 5 minutes for this, with 1 or 2 cars of people in front of me, so it was another short wait that I couldn’t complain about. So, how was it? And what was it, for that matter? Well, it turned out that Toucan Tours was a sweet little monorail attraction that started with some nice panoramic views of the pyramid area before going into a few dark ride scenes. The dark ride scenes were relatively static, for the most part, but I found the whole thing quite endearing! It was a very nice little attraction, with some nice physical theming and set pieces, and I would say it was a real hidden gem: After getting off Toucan Tours, I continued my journey of discovery in the pyramid with a ride on… Seaquarium Seaquarium was nearby and I’d seen the entrance while on Toucan Tours, so as it was also an attraction I’d had recommended to me, I decided to take a ride on there. Again, it was walk-on, which is a bonus, and again, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect; I had an inkling it was a dark ride, but other than that, I wasn’t really sure. So, how was it? Well, like Toucan Tours above, I have to say that I found Seaquarium to be an absolute hidden gem of an attraction; what a lovely little dark ride! There was lots of moving scenery, there was lots to look at, and all in all, I just found the whole thing very sweet! It was certainly an enjoyable dark ride, and I’m very glad I stumbled across it: After getting off Seaquarium, I decided to have a go on the attraction whose entrance was next to it… The Guardian The Guardian’s entrance was next door to Seaquarium, so in the spirit of continuing my journey of discovery in the pyramid, I decided to have a go on there. I remember it being built, but I’ll admit I had very little idea of what was actually in here once again. To add to the anticipation, I spent a few minutes wondering if it was actually open, as I stood alone on some stairs in front of a random door for a good few minutes… it felt very weird being the only one stood in front of this door while looking over children doing the Macarena on the stage below (incidentally, this gave me flashbacks to our hotel in PortAventura, where the Macarena was the subject of the children’s entertainment and we could quietly overhear it every night while having a drink)! The 1.4m height restriction and enclosed nature certainly sent my mind racing, and I initially had inklings in my head of a Top Scan, for some reason (?), but then I did remember something about a robotic arm, so was not too surprised when the ride turned out to be a robotic arm. What I didn’t expect, however, was the inclusion of a curved screen telling a story, thus making the composite ride experience something akin to a pound shop flying theatre. And you know what, it actually works surprisingly well! When combining the robotic arm movements with the story on screen, it did make for a nice little themed experience! I also didn’t find the robotic arm movements too intense; I sometimes found that Forbidden Journey at Universal, which uses similar robotic arm technology, made me a little bit motion sick, but this didn’t seem as bad, bizarrely. All in all, then, I thought The Guardian was a very simple, but effective themed attraction, and yet again, I’d say it falls very nicely into the bracket of “hidden gem”: After getting off The Guardian, I went back outside and perhaps against my better judgement, I decided to give Odyssey one final chance. I was seated on the front this time, so I wondered if it might be better, but while the sense of speed was heightened somewhat, the ride was sadly every bit as bad as before if not worse. With my stomach really hurting and my ears throbbing after a particularly hard whack during that last ride (that my right ear still feels slightly bruised from now), I decided at that point that I’d given Odyssey enough chances and was unlikely to ever rate it. With it being the park’s arguable crown jewel and such a big, fast ride, I really, really wanted to like it, but I sadly just didn’t at all. I’m sorry to say it, but when I think of the actual ride experience, I don’t think I’ve ever ridden a coaster that huge with so few redeeming qualities. As much as the size is impressive and it’s undeniably unique, the ride experience is no better than regular old Infusion for me, which means it’s really not something I rate at all: After my reride on Odyssey, I headed over to Rhombus Express for another reride. I was sat in row 14 this time, and it was once again a really good, fun powered coaster; it flies around the layout and really does pack a punch in places: After my Rhombus Express reride, I decided to head for a flat ride… Star Flyer It dawned on me that as ubiquitous as they are, I’d never actually ridden a Star Flyer before, so as Fantasy Island had one that was walk-on, I decided to give it a go. So, how was my first experience of a Star Flyer? Well, it was certainly an interesting ride experience! As much as I’m not generally a huge lover of flats, the spinning wasn’t too intense on this, and it was quite exhilarating flying high above the ground and having the wind rush into your face: After Star Flyer, I had a final reride on Rhombus Express. I was sat in the back once again, and it was once again really good fun: After that Rhombus Express reride, I closed out my day with a final new flat ride… Techno Jump Techno Jump was walk-on, so as it was a style of flat ride I’d never done before, I decided to take a ride on there. During the era of the Retrosquad at Alton Towers, people used to rave about Mixtape, so I was intrigued to see how one of these Smashing Jumps rode. But how was it? Well, I initially thought it was quite good fun; the jumping produced some fun weightless g-forces, and the spinning wasn’t too intense! However, they ran it for a very long cycle that seemed to get progressively more intense, and I’ll admit this perhaps made it surpass my (relatively low) flat ride tolerance. Had it been a shorter cycle, I would have thought it an enjoyable ride, but the length of cycle made it a little bit much for me in this case. On a side note, a guest remark I heard on this ride really did exemplify the odd hybrid environment that Fantasy Island has cultivated. I overheard someone ask the ride operator “do you need an ID to get a tattoo in that shop over there?”, and it made me think that Fantasy Island must be one of very few places around where you can get a tattoo and ride a roller coaster in the same trip… I find it all quite peculiar, personally, but each to their own: After getting off Techno Jump, ride close was fast approaching, so content with my day, I decided to aim for an earlier train to Nottingham and catch an Uber out of Ingoldmells to get back to Skegness and catch the train to Nottingham: So, that brings a close to my first day at Fantasy Island in Lincolnshire! I had a really good day; I got on 23 rides in total, which is not to be sniffed at in the space of under 5 hours, and I was glad to get the +5, get on Millennium and Odyssey for the first time, and see my final semi-major UK park! It does feel pretty good to have completed the semi-major UK parks and seen everything that’s a major draw coasters-wise; now that my most notable unridden UK coaster has gone drastically down in magnitude to some Pinfari somewhere, I can live with that! As for Fantasy Island itself; as I inferred further up, I found it an odd park. As I’ve reiterated multiple times, it’s a park of two such distinct halves that they almost don’t feel like the same park. The pyramid area is absolutely lovely, with nice theming, some real hidden gem dark rides and a general high-quality atmosphere, while the outdoor area, with a few exceptions, mostly feels like a permanent funfair with all the atmosphere of an out-of-town industrial estate. And the market is really quite an odd extra dimension… I’ve never been anywhere quite like Fantasy Island! Attractions-wise, there’s actually a surprising amount to like; as much as Odyssey was a big disappointment for me, Millennium was really good fun, Volcano was good, Rhombus Rocket was surprisingly good, the dark rides in the pyramid were good… there’s definitely a fair amount there! Considering the distance I live from it, I’m not sure I’d specifically make the effort to return unless they built something major that warranted it, but I’d go back if I was in the area for other purposes. I’m definitely glad I went, though, and I had a good day overall! Thanks for reading; I hope you’ve enjoyed this report! Keep your eyes peeled for a trip report from Alton Towers tomorrow!