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Mark9

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  1. Mark9
    Two months later, with the dust settled on my trip I already look back with great fondness. I've talked about the theme parks but what about the culture of California. How different is it to the humid and tourist trap that is Florida. Many UK enthusiasts don't venture past the state with all the oranges for obvious reasons.
    First thing is people in California are thinner then the East side. Disney World is full of ECV's, California has very few. Florida theme parking is one big bubble of tourists, California is far more about making your own way around without the aid of specially put on buses and taxis. The first thing that struck me about San Francisco is the hills and the beautiful scenery of the downtown area. It looks fantastic from afar, with the golden gate bridge a particular highlight (although Chris said it doesn't look any better the the Humber bridge; spoilsport). As is the culture we had a lot of Starbucks on the trip. It doesn't help that on every block lies a Starbucks or a Chipotle or a Starbucks.

    San Francisco is also incredibly hilly, we took a walk around the outer ring and some of the hills are murderous. We wandered over to the Castro, the gay area of San Fran and where history was made. Anyone interested should read up on Harvey Milk, the first gay politician elected into office and subsequently murdered a few months later. The area has an ease about it and is an excellent place to watch an Austrian drag act win Eurovision.


    On day three, our adventures took us over to the Golden Gate Bridge, an iconic American landmark. It is a beautiful sight to behold and even though we accidentally drove over it, I had a real appreciation for its significance.

    Our destination was actually the Walt Disney Museum, an essential place to visit for any Disney park or film fan. Fantastic place where you see the history of a man who changed the world we live in. From his early days creating Oswold and Mickey to designing the worlds first true theme park. This was a man ahead of his time in more ways then one. Essential viewing.



    And then next was Pier 39, home for a bunch of sealions who make a lot of noise and have a lot of fights. Quite smelly too. But this was where we had an American sized lunch which was impossible to finish. We gave it our best shot.

    And after four days of Touring this wonderful place, it was time to pack our bags and head to Magic Mountain and onto Los Angeles. Tune in next time. If you want too.
  2. Mark9
    Alarm set for 4am. Check

    Pin badges and Oswald hat ready. Check

    Coffee. Check

    It was time to take on the ultimate theme park challenge, 24 hours in two of the busiest theme parks in the world. Even on paper it doesn’t sound easy. Luckily there was things on our side. We knew Pirates of the Caribbean and ‘it’s a small world’ would have reopened so extra capacity at Disneyland. We knew kids wouldn't be able to take on this challenge and we knew many wouldn’t attempt such a feat so the first few hours were cruical. So with that in mind, we arrived via driving through the middle of Los Angeles at Disneyland at around 5:45. A giant Olaf snowman had been sculpted on the entrance way and to open the parks was none other then Josh Gadd, of Frozen fame. He spoke about living near Disney World (BOO!) and how he takes his kids to the Disney parks like a right of passage. With that the parks were opened.



    Oh hey Olaf!


    Fireworks get the parks opened! Here we go!


    We had decided early on to get into California Adventure first and grab a Radiator Springs fastpass. Our thinking was to get the busiest rides out the way first so we could relax on the longer rides later in the day. We grabbed ourself an information leaflet for the day and bad news. Radiator Springs, Tower and California Screamin’ wouldn’t be opening till eight. That left us two hours to find something to do. We tried Toy Story Midway Mania but that wasn’t ready yet, so Little Mermaid was chosen. We then had a go on Soarin’ which opened at 6:30, and then onto Mickey’s Fun Wheel. Wow. This is a ferris wheel which offers stationary pods and ones that swing violently. We naturally chose swinging and what a ride. Seriously more intense then it looks and only the second ride I’ve done that offers sick bags in the pods. It was now around 7:30 and we decided to head towards Flo’s via Radiator Springs to see if fast pass was available. SUCCESS! It was. Whilst Chris went to get the coffees, I grabbed our fastpasses which was for 9:30am. We relaxed for a bit, after all, there was plenty of time left. 8 o clock was finally upon us and we went for a ride on the Tower (grabbing a fast pass too) which was as spell bounding as ever, a ride on Heimlichs chew chew train, Tower then took a gamble. We decided to queue for RC Racers, after all fast pass hadn’t started and this was the only reasonable time to try it. If you know the queueline, we were just under the bridge near the entrance. From there it took us exactly 18 minutes to get onto the ride. Faster then using fast pass the week before. So there you go people, the detrimental effects of any fast pass system right in front of your eyes. We decided therefore to do it again. And it took us 15 minutes this time. People have queued six hours for this thing and here we were essentially casually strolling on without a care in the world.

    Astounded by this turn of luck, our fast pass turn was quickly upon us. And then it broke down. We had to wait an hour for it to come back to life, so I decided to have a lie down instead of getting depressed about things.





    Finally free we descended on California Screamin’, grabbing a fast pass and queuing for Toy Story Mania. It took about 25 minutes to get on and we got exactly the same score somehow. With five minutes remaining till our fastpass, we rode King Tritons Carousel and then rode Screamin’, good as ever. It was now around 11:30 and basically time to jump ships and visit Disneyland. It only seemed natural that our first stop should be Pirates of the Caribbean but naturally we grabbed an Indianna Jones fast pass. Now Pirates. This is a classic ride and no mistake. It makes the Florida and Paris versions look like mere imitations in my opinion.This version evokes such an incredible atmosphere, there is just something about being transported away to that period of time, to not be able to see the roof of the shed sticking out in the pirate boat attack scene or for the journey to be more leisurely paced then its brothers. Captain Jack isn’t necessary but he doesn't detract from this enriching, engaging experience. It’s popularity here is incredible. Hundreds of people joining the queue every minute, each one eagerly anticipating Walt’s last ride he was involved in before he died. I loved it. It’s my favourite ride at Disneyland.


    Alas, it was time to move on, we ended up in Fantasyworld for a little ride on its a small world. This one takes on the Paris look of having an outside loading area but unlike Paris, this one is a series of show rooms and not just one big warehouse. And here the props are far much larger and interesting then I’ve seen previously. My favourite hula girls also appeared here with speedy hips so that made me happy. Time for a ride on the other side of Matterhorn, the Tomorrowland side. Felt quite similar to the other one although Chris found this side rougher. We still had a while until Indianna Jones so we entered Tomorrowland and rode on Buzz Lightyear’s Spin thing. I officially hate all three versions of this ride so far. Dull, Dull, Dull. At least this one didn’t have fastpass. Before heading to Indianna we grabbed a fast pass for Star Tours, went and had some chicken on Main Street then rode Indianna Jones Temple where some more effects seemed to be working this time. That was good. With luck our Star Tours fast pass time was upon us but before we headed over that way we grabbed a Thunder Mountain night time ride fast pass and knowing the parade was on, waited near the Storybook Canal Boats. Somehow this had alluded us on our trips, it business and random closing times meaning we never got a look in. This time we somehow started the queue for it, meaning we’d be the first on when it reopened. Totally different world to Paris where there it’s walk on all the time. I like the cast members talking to us though, nice feature. Rode Star Tours then headed down to potentially queue for Splash. I wasn’t keen, 65 minutes for a ride that I don’t really like wasn’t worth it so we queued five minutes for Winnie the Pooh instead. By now it was around six o clock and to slow the pace down a bit we headed to Fantasyland to get rides on Pinocchio and Snow White. With twelve hours left of the day we still felt okay to carry on but it is hard going to keep the energy levels high.

    Fastpass Top trumps. I think I win.

    We decided not to bother with Space Mountain either and decided to get some snacks to give us an energy boost. It was soon time for Fantasmic and the fireworks. We didn’t move once Fantasmic ended, instead choosing to watch the fireworks from a distance. Works just as well. Our plan was to try and get on Pirates before the second Fantasmic started but unfortunately got caught in the one way system. So instead we had a go on Jungle Cruise which was walk on. The cast member this time was a bit of a mumbler so didn’t catch much of her jokes. We got off and Fantasmic was about to start. We darted into Pirates queue and luckily wouldn't be exciting as Fantasmic finishes (would be disaster). Pirates <3

    After our ride we went and saw the Tiki room show which I am a big fan off. This was a chance to rest our feet, necessary after nearly 18 hours of Disney parks. After Tiki, it was Thunder Mountain time where the fast pass queue and stand by queue had become one big sprawl of people; it wasn’t pretty but we made it. And what a ride in the dark it is. So much fun especially as its barely lit up at all. Wonderful stuff. We had no more fast pass energy left and somehow we ended up in Tomorrowland. Space Mountain seemed to be dead so we decided to ride Autopia. I hate this ride too, it seems like such an unnecessary waste of space especially in a park as small and compact as this. Unfortunately we also had to sit in the car for ages as one had stopped somewhere around the circuit. BROKEN! We were evacuated from the ride and decided to call it a day at Disneyland. California Adventure was calling with a 3am showing of World of Colour. There’s nothing like standing in the cold at 3am in the morning and being sprayed with water for thirty minutes. With Screamin’ and Radiator Springs Racers closing at 4 we raced (pun not intended) over to get a go but both had closed already and with Tower the only major ride still running after 4 (but with a tasty 120 minute queue) we decided to call it a day. We’d made it to 22 hours and I especially knew I had driving to do in the morning.



    TOWER! I love you but 120 minutes is just to long at 4 in the morning.

    So what can I say about the day. It is a hard hard day of theme parking and takes the patience of a saint. It says something that the night-time shows finish and you still have essentially a day at Alton Towers left before the parks close. I whole-heartedly recommend it though as the parks have a special atmosphere like no other. Getting on Pirates was the icing on the cake.

    And with that, thats the theme park side of the holiday done and dusted. Whilst I would love to have done some of the other parks in the area, that can be done another time around. For now though, we had done some of the most famous theme parks in America and I have to say I was so impressed with the rides on the west coast. The B&M's and Intamins in Florida are kind of hit and miss but over in California, each one was ridable and enjoyable. Special mention goes to the two floor less coasters of Medusa and Scream. They were great.
    I'd like to thank anyone thats read all my trip reports. You guys rule
  3. Mark9
    Please note my heart loves Disneyland. It’s the original theme park and deserves to be loved for this fact alone. In saying that, objectively, the park has some crippling faults which if I wasn’t a sympathetic enthusiast, may have completely ruined my day.



    After our two days at Magic Mountain it was time to quicken the pace with the Disney parks. Gone were the five minute queues and here were the 30 minute plus waits to get on Haunted Mansion. Here is the grand daddy of them all, the park that Walt built, the park he held so much pride and love for. Here was where all the rules are set such as the iconic hub and spoke design of Main Street plaza or the idea of the rides as shows and the staff as cast members. He personally oversaw the cleaning of the park every morning so that every day the park gleamed and sparkled. It’s hard not to well up when seeing the train pulling into the entrance station or the castle appearing around the corner in all its glory. Well first thing is the castle is tiny. No surprises here, it was the first and built on a very tight budget back in the 50’s. It’s not its fault that it has been superseded twice over by Florida and Paris.


    And this is generally the theme of the park. And its the thing that does threaten to derail the day. Everything is on a smaller scale to other kingdom parks. That would be absolutely fine if it had the guest attendance to match but it doesn’t. For the past few years the park has seen 16 million people pass through its doors and at times it feels like the park is at breaking point. And what doesn’t help is the numerous refurbs going on. During our first part of the visit we had no Pirates of the Caribbean, It’s a Small World, Alice in Wonderland or Nemos Submarine Voyage. Two of those are absolute Disney classics that eat through people like candy and two novelty rides that I hadn’t experienced anywhere else. On our first day every queue was spilling out of the respective rides entrances. Trying to walk through the minuscule Adventureland past Indianna Jones was a trial of patience and whoever put the Astro orbiter at the very entrance to Tomorrowland, basically on Main Street and then decided that Star Tours and Buzz Lightyear should be on either side completely blocking the pathway into the area needs shooting. It can create such a negative impression to just see crowds and no clear way through.

    So to end this negativity thats go on to some positives. Our first stop (as always is) was Big Thunder Mountain, recently reopened after a lengthy 18 month refurbishment. It looks absolutely sublime with its new track and new effects. It is much better themed then Paris and Florida and only loses to the Paris version because of Paris’s epic beginning and ending. I approve of the use of physical effects being added into the third lift hill area as it feels so much more real to have smoke and sound effects. The other two’s third lift hills are rather.. dull. So big thumbs up.

    We grabbed a fastpass for Indianna Jones and headed to the rather stately Haunted Mansion. I adore this ride in Florida and I love it even more here. Next was Splash Mountain which I didn’t like. I don’t mind water rides but this is too wet. Especially as its only really the front that gets soaked it feels like adding insult to injury. I was definitely not in the laughing place after this. Winnie the Pooh here is very unpopular probably because of its location in the park (always 45 minutes at Disney World). It was fine though.


    Time for Indianna (before our ride we grabbed another fast pass). Now I’m not really sure of the intention but I am guessing this is supposed to be far more comedic then the terrifying Dinosaur at Animal KIngdom. I recognised parts of the layout. I think some of my.. I don’t want to say problems but I guess thats what they are is that parts of the temple are very lightly lit up whether by fire or by spot lighting so I never truly felt at peril as I could always see the car in front of us doing its thing. Maybe thats part of the storyline, that we are part of an expedition. Amazing queue line though, full of details and interactive elements and some aspects of the ride such as the boulder are absolutely top notch. Sometimes it didn’t work or we just remained stationary under a hanging Indianna for 20 seconds. Stacking issues aren’t good people, just get on the damn ride. I hate to sound like I didn’t like the ride because I really did. It’s just not faultless.

    Next stop was the Jungle Cruise which I really enjoyed for some reason. I just seemed to be into the corny jokes when normally I want them to stop. Knowing Walt was the making of the ride probably helped. We had another go on Indianna then headed back to Main Street to grab our first time badges and have some lunch. At this point we noticed Space Mountain which was supposed to be closed was actually open. Hoorah! With this in mind we grabbed ourself a fast pass as it was displaying a 50 minute queue then headed to Fantasyland. This must really be the smallest area in the park. Eleven rides squished into an area that simply cannot cope. We decided to go for it (we had no choice really) and did them in anti-clockwise order. First was Snow White which is the same as Paris and the old Florida version, then Pinocchio which was the same as Paris. Yay for clones. I like these rides though, so charming and unassuming. And the queues always move very quickly. Our next stop was Casey Jr. Completely different to Paris, for example here we waited twenty minutes, there we walked straight on. Secondly this is more like a proper train ride through the storybook area. Its fine. We then headed to Mr Toads Wild ride. I’m not sure why this is considered such a classic. It’s okay in itself but not exemplary. We then chose to ride Peter Pans Flight just to say we’ve done it. I still don’t like any of the versions I’ve done. It zooms too fast through the story and misses out key moments.



    We headed off to Mickeys Toon Town to ride Rodger Rabbits Cartoon Spin. Wasn’t the biggest fan of this as it was a bit ZANY but lacking in actual fun. Ah well, can’t win them all. Eventually, after many attempts it was finally time for Matterhorn Bobsleds which interestingly is in Fantasyland and even more interestingly had a minor incident involving an injury to a cast member that very morning. This thing is just crazy with track looked like it was carved with a chisel. I was impressed that no supports seem to be in view, the track looks like it is part of the mountainside. And I also aproove of working yetis. I’m not sure if I liked either side though particularly strongly. I recognise its achievement and the technical know how to make the ride.



    Parade time, great parade some very interesting floats and choices made on characters liked. Anything involving the three Caballeros gets my thumbs up anytime. Not a fan of using Mary Poppins as the last float though, boring! Onto Tomorrowland after avoiding it all day. First was Space Mountain which was pretty laughable really. The music makes it seem like a cheesy vision of the future and space travel. People think this is better then Florida and Paris. I don’t agree with them, its a generic space travel themed ride with a high throughput. Nothing more. For something a bit (read a lot) better was Star Tours which is insanely popular here. We used fast pass to get our go and really enjoyed it. We both found this Tomorrowland really underwhelming whether its Autopia still existing, Nemo still closed or the remains of Rocket Rod Racers splaced around the place. It felt like it was severely missing something.



    With night-time starting to descend we had food in a New Orleans themed restaurant then prepared for the onslaught of Magical (The firework display) and then Fantasmic around the rivers of America. This is when Disneylands size really starts to buckle. We chose the fireworks first as we thought it would give us the best chance of seeing both properly. We were wrong. The firework show was fine, if a little boring. I liked Dumbo flying and also appreciated the use of songs and films from when Walt was alive. But then we tried to get to the Fantasmic viewing area. The park turns into a huge one way system as it is the only way to cope with the crowds. Frontierland becomes an entrance and Adventureland becomes an exit. If you visit, don’t bother getting a fast pass for any ride in this area as you will never reach the ride you want to go on. The only possible chance we got of getting a good view was to stand on a terrace far away from the rivers of America because it is the only place we were allowed to stand. Cast Members vigurously patrol the pathways meaning no one will stand in an area they aren’t allowed in. Most tedious. Fantasmic here is good but I don’t think it’s better then the one in Florida. I know some will disagree but I can’t help feel Fantasmic in Florida feels like a event, in California its just another show. The main real change is here instead of Pocahontas we have Peter Pan. The pirate boat is a great set piece but more crucially it isn’t that dynamic. If you are on either side of the lake you can’t see any of the action so you just get the soundtrack with random lines from the film played through. The odd gun shot fires but I didn’t find it that engaging. Lucking the dragon here is a beautiful piece of artistry, its head rearing over the fountains as if Maleficent really has transformed in front of your eyes. Its death is also fantastically done as electricity looks to spark through its body as it screams in agony. Great stuff and very entertaining. Rest of the night was a ride on Splash Mountain (where I got soaked) and then bed time.

    Looking back over what I’ve written it sounds far more negative then I actually intended. I think the criticism is warranted because the park realistically is not designed to cope with 16 million people like its East Coast and European brother is (and to be fair when it opened, 4 million was its original yearly gate figure). What doesn’t help is having four rides (one my absolute favourite dark ride) down for refurb and no attractions like Carousel of Progress, Philarmagic or Country Bear Jamboree around to spread crowds. They get eaten up as their unpopularity means they take up valuable space in a park that has very little of it. When it comes to it, expectation for a Disney park in unparalleled in the world. These are the grandmasters with rides that work harder then any other on the planet. If it sounds like I am being unfair I can only apologise because I really did have fun.

    Luckily 24 hour day was even more successful but thats not another story. For now its on and upwards to California Adventure.
  4. Mark9
    As some of you may know, I've been over in California for two weeks embracing the west coast. In that time Chris and I visited five new theme parks and went on some of the most well known rides out there. So to start off with;
    Six Flags Discovery Kingdom


    I don’t know many people that have been to this park so for me, it would live or die based on how my trip was to go. The day started relatively badly. A heavy hangover from the Eurovision celebrating the night before meant some hangover coffee and food was required from Starbucks. Nevertheless, we sobered up and drove the 40 minute drive to one of two Six Flag parks in California. Now, when it comes to Six Flags, enthusiasts always come across as frosty. It’s reputation is near the bottom of the barrel. Reports of poor operations, rude and unhelpful staff ad dirty, littered areas are common complaints. I’m happy to report none of these came across on this particular visit.

    Access to the park was swift, we purchased annual passes (at $100 each including parking and discounts it was a steal!) and made our way over to our first ride and my first new B&M since Dæmonen last year, Medusa. Now our first mistake was to take our bags into the queue so unfortunately our first ride was actually my first ride as Chris sat it out to put bags in lockers ($5 for all day use in all lockers in the park, very good value!).



    Now, when it comes to the Floridian B&M’s they were very hit and miss. They are either large and overblown but over rated like Hulk and Montu or they little pieces of perfection like Manta and Kumba. Having already ridden Superman de Acero, Kraken and Dæmonen, I was fully aware that the floor less riding seat wasn’t the be all and end all of these rides. When it comes to Medusa I just took it for what it was; a glorified sit down ride. I have to say I really enjoyed it. It gets away with a few things though. For example it is as much of a car park coaster as Scream is at Magic Mountain. But that doesn’t effect the ride experience much at all. Secondly it’s oversized vertical loop, dive roll and zero g roll are a lot of fun. There is so much hang time throughout the inversions and it has that old style, B&M aggressiveness that some would say are missing from modern day Beemers. The Sea-Serpent roll which features exclusively to B&M rides on here isn’t that great but is the only dull moment on this ride. After the MCBR, the ride hots up with some very forceful helixes over the faded car park white lines. These are all taken at ground level and feel very quick. The corkscrews are also very quick and intense and the final helix is great fun.


    I have a feeling that Medusa was running so well because of the heatwave that California was having at the time. It was 37 degrees on our visit, (absolutely stifling weather) and all the rides were running fast. This helped Medusa in particular as it just seemed to have that extra wallop. It was running two trains the whole day and the staff were giving great guest interaction. I thought they were supposed to be unfriendly idiots and no interest in the guests. Not true here. I found their visual check spins quite funny as they put their arms at full length, say visual check and spin on the spot. So, first ride down, three rides done on Medusa (two in the back row, one in the front) and a fantastic start to the theme park trips.




    Our next stop was Kong, a Vekoma SLC. My only other experience with this ride type is Infusion at Blackpool. This wasn’t too bad although it was definitely a slight head banger. We had one front row ride on our trip, no more goes were required.

    Next stop was the weirdly named Sky Screamer, a glorified wave swinger that gave great views of Medusa and nothing more. This was closely followed by Cobra, a Zierer junior coaster which wasn't too bad, not too dull but nothing crazy.

    We stopped for a little bit too have some water and chill out and then head to our next batch of rides. Discovery Kingdoms entrance is weirdly placed between areas. On your left is Medusa and Kong, over the entrance is V2 and to your right is Superman:Ultimate Flight and Roar. So naturally our next stop was the other coaster corner starting with V2

    Starting with V2 (Vertical Velocity), this is an Intamin impulse coaster that has a weird angled piece of track at one end and a vertical spike at the other. The ride launches you one way then the other then back again until you reach nearly the end of the track. Weirdly the zero g at one of the end is angled oddly so sometimes you get halfway through the inversion and others you make it the whole way through. Oddly, this never had a queue but this may be down to its poor reliability as it seemed to rarely run through our day.

    Next up was Superman: Ultimate Flight, a premier launch roller coaster that won awards a few years ago for its original ride design. I can understand that, it is pretty out there in terms of rides but it has a fatal flaw. It’s poor throughput means queues can rise quickly. Luckily it was relatively quiet on our visit but I can imagine long waits on busier days. So with that being said, how is the ride. Yeah its good, the constant launching back and forth through the station feels very good and the ride definitely has some good bum of seat action. It also features a good amount of air time and the sensation of speed is there in bucket loads. I just question whether parks can justify such a low throughput ride.


    Our final major roller coaster was Roar, a wooden coaster built by GCI, the masters behind Wodan at Europa Park. Before our visit, Roar was a very unloved ride, thrown aside by the enthusiast community (well.. TPR) for being rough and uncomfortable. Luckily, the ride had a slight refurbishment with track being replaced before our visit so the question was, could it take down Wodan.

    No it can’t.

    But it shares many characteristics with the German version such as the relentless sensation and the amazing sense of speed as you are thrown left and right the whole way around the circuit. The first drop was a particular highlight. The rest of the circuit kind of melted into one in my mind. Suffice to say we enjoyed both our rides on this ride even though it only ran one train. The other didn't seem to be around at all.

    So with the major rides all done it was time to kick back and enjoy the rest of what the park had to offer. A nice lake surrounds the park affording it a nice scenic view. We had some nice chicken and chips and then went around the zoo area. We were slightly surprised by how close we could get to the animals such as the giraffes and elephants. You could also pay to ride the elephants around a little enclosure.

    Next up was Boomerang: Coast to Coast or as I refer to it as, my first Vekoma Boomerang. I’ve heard the horror stories and the outlook wasn’t great. But you know what, I thought it was fine. Sure there was the odd jerky sensation but I’ve had worse. It certainly wasn’t uncomfortable.
    In the park is several huss creations such as a top spin (that had no water thankfully) and there was little roller coasters for the kids dotted around. Our final stop was a show with Dolphins called Drench. With marine life being a hot potato at the moment, what with the Blackfish documentary this show had a slight edge for me. The dolphins looked well looked after and seemed well treated so erm.. not much more I can add to either side of the argument.


    So to conclude. Discovery Kingdom. Done a large floorless or a decent woodie before? Probably not going to add much to your interests. But if you want to go to somewhere relatively ignored in UK coaster circles, somewhere that does have genuine charm and some cracking good rides then you can’t go far wrong then Discovery Kingdom.
  5. Mark9

    Drop it like it's hot.

    By Mark9,

    In 2012, I was assigned to write a feature for Colossus's tenth birthday. The article itself was my best work if I don't say so myself. It was my intention that I would be able to do a similar piece when it came to 2003's blisteringly hot but underwhelmingly* tepid Nemesis Inferno in 2013. But this did not happen. No matter what I wrote, constructed or thought about, inspiration abandoned me and I just couldn't put together a piece that would do Inferno justice. And the problem comes down to one sticking point;
    There is just nothing special about Nemesis Inferno.

    Nemesis Inferno, distinctly middle of the road.
    But worry not fellow Thorpe fanboys and coaster nerds for the story doesn't end there. It is for that reason that for me, Nemesis Inferno is one of Thorpe's very best roller coasters and one that I get the most pleasure out of riding during a visit. Let me tell you a tale about a ride that was hyped to the max, but could never reach those lofty heights.
    Back in 2002, Colossus had done unexpected things for Thorpe, it's visitor numbers rising and rising and the construction of a brand new Inverter would have been a spectacular thing indeed for English enthusiasts. Remember, we are talking about a time when Nemesis most definitely ruled the roost in the UK and unless you were up for travelling to America, Italy or Spain, chances are it was your only shot. The hype surrounding Inferno was definitely something different, particularly when it was associated with the Nemesis name. I can remember at the time, discussion on Inferno's finale helixes being discussed as potentially as intense as Nemesis's helix after its first inversion. Talk about building the hype.

    Of course, come April 2003, Inferno opens and it isn't quite as good as it's predecessor. My favourite description at the time was a ride on Inferno's front row was not as intense as a ride on the Happy Halibuts of Octopus Garden. Talk about damning a product.
    At the time, with only Colossus complimenting Inferno, it came under harsher criticism then it probably deserved. With only two major roller coasters** to keep customers happy, Inferno came under the limelight in a way that many rides do not. After all, inverters had really boomed in the 90's with the Batman clones being installed all across America and rides that dominated their respected parks like Katun, Montu and Alpengeist. By 2003, with new types of rides starting to dominate such as sky hogging mega coasters and Intamin's brand new launch technology breaking record after record it's easy to see why Inferno was not enough and why Inferno could actually be seen as a bit, old hat.

    This is all hindsight of course. With the addition of Stealth, Saw: The Ride and The Swarm, things have increasingly changed at Thorpe and of course, so has Nemesis Inferno. As higher, faster and more attention grabbing rides have been added, Inferno has become more of a support roller coaster. When everything else goes to hell in a hand basket, Inferno is the old reliable. Always the ride with minimal queues, always the ride that eats through queues like it's going out of fashion and always the ride that delivers a smooth, intense experience. Never really pushing its customers too far but always delivering its promise of an enjoyable and satisfying ride. I know there are those that will disagree. A B&M inverter should be the absolute pinnacle of intensity, nothing should be considered more when riding this ride type. If that is the promise then Inferno doesn't deliver. Luckily, just up the M1 and left a bit is another roller coaster that does fulfil the necessary criteria.

    At Thorpe however is a ride built on the tail end of a coaster boom, one that is loved by a small but vocal minority. And for me personally, it holds some very special memories. It was my very first B&M and by default my first B&M inverter, it was the first ride that I really followed construction of and I know full well that it is my most ridden ride thanks to many Single rider sessions in 2004.
    More then most then, I can say that Inferno is an average ride at best. But even average is better then the majority of roller coasters out there. And that's good enough for me.
    Thanks for reading, Mark9

    *I made up a word just for this review. Now that is dedication for you
    **I know people will say X:/ No Way Out was a major roller coaster. it just isn't OKAY!
  6. Mark9

    2013 - A Retrospective

    By Mark9,

    2013 has not been the grandest years for theme parks in the country, more like a cheap table wine that you pick up for cheap at Tescos. From obvious budget cuts and rides standing but not operating for an entire year at Chessington too The Smiler trying to throw everything and the kitchen sink at passers by, it is clear that the Uk industry has stagnated somewhat in 2013.

    And yet, shockingly and surprisingly, despite not adding anything substantial, Thorpe Park has come out as the clear winner by a long shot. From much better reliability park wide, to improvement in effects up-keep and new events, the park has clearly embraced social media and openly interacts with guests more frequently. This all in turn with a slight shift in target audience, Thorpe has the potential to be the park of 2014 as well if it can keep the ball rolling with ideas that are fresh and innovative.

    So where did this begin? Ah, I know, March time. I had booked a whole week off of work so that I could visit Thorpe for its opening weekend, take a look at how The Smiler construction was going and have a go on Zufari whilst enjoying old family favourites such as Runaway Train, Dragon Falls and Vampire. It wasn't to be. A refurbishment list made itself apparent, a lot of these rides were not to be open due to the park not able to maintain rides for a quarter of a century and Zufari was postponed by a week. No matter. As temperatures continued to drop, three successive trips to Thorpe occurred, one for the Swarm media photo day with Thorpe Park Mania, one before a meet weekend and another on what was to be the coldest trip of the season. On all three days, somehow, Slammer worked continuously, we even had a ride in the snow which is pretty surreal, I'm sure not many could say they've done that. Despite the freezing temperatures, the only rides closed all day were Colossus and Saw. A Trip to Chessington could have given you a ride on Bubbleworks and Tomb Blaster if you were really lucky. Alton also impressed during March, the emptiest I had ever seen it. Surprising sights such as only two people on Air at 4 in the afternoon is very different to the usual sights.
    May
    New Coasters - 142. Wodan - Europa Park

    With the sun out, birds singing and all but one ride open at Chessington (for now), it was back with my theme park shoes and off on holiday. Instead of staying with the UK, it was back off the Europe for my favourite theme park so far. Europa Park is an utter joy to be had. Even though we spent three and a half days there it just isn't enough to fully embrace the joy of a theme park that is run professionally and efficiently with show after show, ride after ride and a park that has full pride in everything it provides for its guests. Ride highlights included Blue Fire being as good if not better then I remembered, the wonderful Euro-Mir and the very impressive, relentless Wodan. We stayed in the sublime Bell Rock resort and scored Eurovision one night, toured the hotel the other and had a delicious cocktail on our final night. Thursday night it was back off to England for a days rest and then onto the next trip, Denmark.

    New Coasters:- Dæmonen - Tivoli Gardens
    Odin Express - Tivoli Gardens
    The Caravan - Tivoli Gardens
    Rustcherbanan - Tivoli Gardens
    Vandorm - Bon Bon Land
    Vild Svinet - Bon Bon Land
    Hunderprutterutchebane - Bon Bon Land
    Tornado - Bakken
    Rustchebanan - Bakken
    Mine Train Ulven - Bakken
    Racing - Bakken
    Vilde Maus - Bakken
    Mairehønen - Bakken
    Piraten - Djurs Sommerland
    Skatteøen - Djurs Sommerland
    Karlo’s Taxi - Djurs Sommerland
    Thors Hammer - Djurs Sommerland
    Juvelen - Djurs Sommerland
    Jungle X-Plorer - Legoland Billund
    X-Treme Racers - Legoland Billund
    Dragen - Legoland Billund
    Timber Ride - Legoland Billund
    Lynet - Farup Sommerland
    Mine Expressen - Farup Sommerland
    Flagermusen - Farup Sommerland
    Pindsvinet - Farup Sommlernad
    Falken - Farup Sommerland


    On our arrival it was a sweltering 16 degrees (hot for Denmark) but throughout the week, the weather would fly up and down. It is a very odd climate indeed. We spent the first night celebrating Denmark's win of Eurovision and throughout the week we would hear that music blasting out of car windows. We even got to see the winning act perform live at Tivoli. The major highlights off the trip were the first Rustcherbanan at Tivoli Gardens, which is a truly wonderful attraction and deserves to be appreciated for its sheer beauty and smoothness, Piraten and Juvelen at Djurs Sommerland which were equal in the fun and thrill stakes, Polar XPlorer at Legoland Billund was a very fun ride, as was Lynet at Farup Sommerland. With the good comes the bad and Bakken was truly atrocious with the diabolical Tornado symbolising everything I think wrong with the modern day Intamin company. Not enough refining, too much trying to please a park on a sub-standard product. The Rustcherbanan at Bakken had also been seriously ruined by KumbaK with magnetic breaks destroying any element of momentum that the ride tries to build.
    I left Denmark feeling very sad, it is a wonderful country, if not for its coasters then for its feeling of freedom, liberty and forward thinking Danes.
    June
    New Coasters - 170: The Smiler - Alton Towers

    And after what felt like a life time of waiting, The Smiler finally got itself going and very swiftly, a trip was planned with my non coaster friend. The Smiler is a great ride. Ok, so it can't upstage Nemesis or Oblivion but I still maintain it is a great ride with a bit of a kick in it especially towards the end. You could say I've been lucky, every time I've visited, it has been open and whilst seeing break downs galore whenever I enter the queue, I've always been fortunate enough to ride. Even with it throwing bits off quite frequently. For my 25th birthday, it was off to Thorpe where I got my last ride on Slammer before its annual four month closure. It was a beautifully sunny day with minimal queues. And still it wasn't my best trip to Thorpe this season.. but that is coming. Shortly after my birthday, spent a weekend at Towers for some Smiler loving. The end of the month saw the Inferno ERT even for TPM members where we got to walk through some of the ride area and some lucky pups got to have a little walk up the lift hill.
    July
    This was a relatively quiet month with a solitary trip to Alton Towers where yet again a substantial ride count was halted by the troublesome Smiler eating up so much of the day.
    August
    Now this was the trip of the season. Thorpe hosting its summer late night events. I know some got rained on and the organisation is not as strong as it could be. But during my trip I can safely say I had the best Thorpe I've had for some time. The park was busy enough during the day but with the later hours, I got a chance to properly relax and appreciate my time there. With the joyous hot weather as well, it didn't feel like a theme park in the UK with rubbish weather and even worse opening hours. It felt like I was in sunny Florida or Italy with some great friends from TPM. I came away pretty blown away by how great the trip was, testament to how much Thorpe has grown and increased in confidence during the season.
    September
    New Coasters -
    Space Mountain: Mission 2 - Disneyland Parc
    Big Thunder Mountain Railroad - Disneyland Parc
    Indianna Jone et le Temple du Perile - Dienyland Parc
    Casey Jr - Disneyland Paris
    Crushs Coaster - Disneyland Paris
    Rock ‘N’ Rollercoaster - Disneyland Paris
    RC Racer - Disneyland Paris
    Tami Tami - PortAventura



    And so with the weather starting to deteriorate it was off to Disneyland Paris, a place I have never been before. I did enjoy it and found it far more relaxing and stress free then the pressure kitchen that is Disney World. It helped that the parks were very quiet with 5 minute queues on Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain and Tower of Terror being seen throughout the visit. Dreams was a real highlight, seriously great entertainment and needs to be seen by as many as possible. The final trip, two weeks later was PortAventura which unbeknown to me was the start of its Halloween events. Now, I really don't like Halloween events. I know they are extremely popular but I don't find them scary in the slightest despite the actors best efforts. For me, the important thing for the trip was to get my ride on Tami Tami and to fully enjoy Shambhala and Dragon Khan. Which I certainly did, getting more then my fill on both these coasters. Baco, lived up to its awful reputation, set last year but maintained fully in 2013. Is it worse then Tornado? They are both awful and nasty.

    My year was finished off with a Fright Night finish at Thorpe. I don't do mazes but with it being quiet during night, it was nice to get a few night rides on Inferno, Stealth and front row Colossus.
    ​And with that the year off theme parks is over. 2013 was not a great year for the UK admittedly. So much potential completely left untapped with Smiler not being as reliable as required and Chessington letting down every single guest that walked through its doors with its sheer incompetence. I used to be a major Chessington fan but frankly its no longer worth the effort. Full of low capacity rides that are either falling apart, closed or so low on staff that it takes five minutes to load a boat. Hence my lack of visit in 2013.

    Here's to a full on 2014 for everyone and thanks for reading (if you did).
  7. Mark9
    It was time for the Stars in their cars parade. Not great to be honest. Part of the problem here is that it's just generic cars and aren't that exciting to look at. It also blocks off the entrance/exit to the park so want to leave, nope you get stuck. Want to get on Tower whilst its quiet, no you have to wait for the Parade to pass. Not the greatest planning.


    Not long Remy, Not long...
    With the parade over and the two shows not starting for a while, we headed back to Toy Story playland and had a go on RC Racer. Luckily the queue was only 10 minutes long as the ride is so short it does push its luck. Not a bad effort by Disney, it's just a shame you have to queue in the shed area next to the station instead of the cool race track part of the queue line. The ride itself is comfy enough with enough speed to satisfy even the most hardened coaster fans.
    After that it was Slinky's piece of rubbish which is the most useless kids rides ever constructed. It's actually a little bit insulting.

    Shortly before we rode.
    Cinemagique and Animagique followed. Love them both with Animagique having the edge. Any attraction that has Donald in a tizz is a winner for me and I particularly liked the show.
    Our final stop was Tram Tour which felt as useless and convoluted as the Florida version. The main problem is both have been cut down from their original intent. Here, with Ratatouille construction the tour feels in two halves. A long jaunt over to the water canyon followed by a tedious return journey through a set of a film know one even remembers let alone heard of. We queued a good half an hour for it and it wasn't worth the wait. The queue was only that long due to only running two trams.

    With day at Studios over it was time for steak in Disney village before returning to Disney Parc for a trip on Dumbo and another showing off Dreams. Love that show.


  8. Mark9
    Having been given a breakfast slot for 9:45, we decided to skip a bit of continental and headed into the park around 9:00 instead. Seeing a main street so empty is an experience you'll rarely get so we took the opportunity to get some photos and get some coffee from one of the various outlets along Main Street.

    I'll never get tired of the Castle/Main Street view.

    LOOK AT THE THEME!
    We also approve of buying food and getting tickets for free coffee later in the day.
    One thing I really noticed about the parks here is how much more relaxed you can be. With Florida you get caught in a whirlwind of rushing about from ride to ride, reservation at restaurant to show or parade and never take proper time to appreciate where you are. Throughout our time in Paris, we did a lot of sitting around, relaxing and soaking in the atmosphere. Playing a part in that is that there is less to do here then in Florida but I can only put that as a benefit to Paris.
    Our first stop during Magic Hours was Space Mountain: Mission 2. From outside, it is a frankly stunning piece of design, that giant cannon is a piece of theming genius and fits in perfectly with the rest of Discoveryland. I'm rather fond of this area as it is. I can understand why they diverted away from Tomorrowland as that area dates faster then they can build/update it.
    As for Space Mountain. I do like the ride on a thematic level. The idea of being launched into space via a giant cannon is based on Jules Verne's novel 'From the Earth to the Moon' and I love it. I just wish the theming worked such as the recoil of the cannon or the misters as you are blasted into the building. The ride itself is rather atypical of Vekoma. Enjoyable but you really struggle to find a position in which you don't bang your head on the side of the stupid restraints. That being said it is very well paced inside, the ride keeping its speed up to the last moment. It does feel a bit like you are descending into a vortex as the trains spirals around the building, every now and then taking in an inversion surprisingly.
    We rode several times through the trip and it was either outstanding, unbearable or average. So I find it hard to really rate it.
    Our next ride was Buzz Lightyears Laser Blast, A ride I despised in Florida but here it was actually a decent ride. The props all seemed to make sense and weren't all cardboard cut outs with targets on them. I even liked the finale which I won't spoil here. I don't understand the points system but then again, it is only a throw away ride.

    With no interest in Orbitron or Autopia we decided to head back to the central hub and wait for the rest of the park to open. More views of the wonderful Sleeping Beauty castle awaited us.



    With 10 o clock upon us it was time to venture into Frontierland. We grabbed a fastpass for Big Thunder Mountain whilst everyone else descended into its main queueline. We instead thought we'd try out Phantom Manor. It's American equivalent, Haunted Mansion, is one of my favourite dark rides and I'd heard many great things about the Paris version. I wasn't disappointed as such. The subtlety of the storytelling (ie, there was no narration) meant that we had to really pay attention to the scenes throughout. Something to do with a bride whose family dies (or she murdered them) and so she gets buried as the ride descends from amazingly themed Mansion to an odd underground Western film. Very odd. The shoe-horning of Phantom Manor into Frontierland didn't work for me although there is no way the attraction itself could fit into the other three lands of the park. A triumph though and just shows that when it comes to dark rides, Disney are (mainly) on top.

    Our next stop was the Molly Brown boat ride around Big Thunder Mountain. We never found the time to do this in Florida so it was a welcome find to get on it and just relax for twenty minutes. It's a shame that aside from Big Thunder Mountain there is nothing to really look at. I hear that some kind of fountain show used to occur at the end but no longer works.


    Next time will focus on Big Thunder Mountain, Fantasyland and yet again we get to Pirates of the Caribbean to find it broken.
  9. Mark9
    With the rain coming down it seemed like everyone rushed to the nearest food place. As we were at the back of Fantasyland we were stuck with Toads Hall, a tinyish place which could't cope with the amount of people coming in. People were arguing and fighting over tables and staff couldn't control who was next in wait for a table. We were lucky, a lovely French couple noticed I'd been waiting the longest and offered me the table, even telling off others who tried to take it from me. We had fish and chips which was about the only interesting thing the place sold. It was fine and we moved onto Pirates of the Caribbean which was now open.

    I 100% preferred this version to Florida and I think part of it is that Jack Sparrow from the films hasn't been shoehorned into the attraction. The Paris version is just lovely to ride, full of atmosphere, high throughput and well themed. Really like the ending with all the skeletons as well. It's only drawback is that it is hidden away at the very back of the park and doesn't get the attention it properly deserves.
    With the rain getting heavier we decided to take refuge and do some indoory things such as explore Sleeping Beauty's castle, the cave underneath which rather shamefully ruins what is hidden inside because its called Cave of the Dragon. *sighs*



    The rain was in heavy heavy mood so it was back to Discoveryland to try out Space Mountain again and ride Star Tours. I've done the Adventure continues at Florida so I was interested into how this version would be. Thankfully the queue was only five minutes long so we got on pretty much straight away. It's so early 90's I can't help love it. Sure its completely outclassed by its sequel but its still a decent enough ride.

    Next was Captain EO which was just as bad in Paris as it was in Florida. It may have been made by some very talented people but each one got it wrong here. Embarressing.

    Cake was had on Main Street and we next attempted to get on the Railroad. The queue advertised was 45 minutes and we weren't sure how this could be. Well when you are only running one train on a very long circuit and no one gets off at your station then it suddenly dawns on you. This will be a waste of the time. The bigger curiosity is that the other stations weren't open to board the train. You could get off at Frontierland for instance but no one would be able to get on. So were people just going round and round on the railroad.
    Instead we walked back to Fantasyland and did a few more attractions over there including the Carousel and Mad Tea Party which we never got the chance to ride in Florida. I can see why we skipped them.


    And with dawn quickly approaching we took a last ride of the day on Big Thunder Mountain (Two train operation, Florida this is not) and headed to Main Street for Dreams.

    Dreams is absolutely stunning. I wasn't going to waste time watching it through a camera lens or paying more attention taking photos then watching the artisty in front of me, I wanted to enjoy the show. And it is brilliant, featuring some of the greater Disney songs like Can't wait to be King and Never had a Friend like me. I also never knew how popular Merida from Brave is but everytime she came on the crowd cheered louder then the others. I was also pleased to see Dr Facillier from the Princess and the Frog feature so heavily, a very under-rated villian.
    The finale is of course an inspirational song (second star to the right), a load of fireworks and lots of flashing lights. My kind of show!
    Dreams is as good if not better then the Florida equivalents, not to be missed at any time on a Paris trip. And with that it was sleepy times, ready for the next day in Studio Park.
  10. Mark9
    Day started with a 15 minute queue for breakfast. This was slightly chaotic with hundreds of people going for breakfast at the same time, a lot of people coming an hour early and not being turned away. Wouldn't happen at Towers
    From there it was on to Studios Park, our first stop Crush's Coaster. We didn't arrive dead on ten so when we got to Crush, the queue was already displayed at 60 minutes. We decided to bite the bullet and just go for it. This was the only ride where we saw a queue line monitor, a staff member regularly throwing out queue jumpers which was refreshing to see. Turns out, the queue for this isn't as bad as I first thought and its all down to Disney efficiency. Sure, this is a low throughput effort for Disney but even here the queue moves at a very steady pace. And its all down to the park running all twelve cars at once. As we watched we noticed cars are sent out every nine seconds. That is frankly astonishing to watch and throughput works out at roughly around 1200 an hour. So even for a low throughput affair, that is some impressive numbers from a Maurer. The ride itself is nice and quirky featuring some nice dark ride sections, a speedy lift hill and a reasonably good layout inside. I could argue that inside the shed, there's very little effects or theming but then again, its dark down below the water and the lack of things to look it increases the disorientation. This is far superior to Caligostro at Rainbow Magicland.



    Our next stop was Rock N Rollercoaster. Too say I'm not the biggest fan of the Florida version may be an exaggeration, here I find the ride just tiresome. I think the major problem is that for me, this just isn't a Disney type ride. Rip Ride Rockit at Universal Studios has issues but as a ride with a soundtrack it works fine. Here, Aerosmith just isn't a themed experience and I find the idea behind the ride so tedious. The theme here is... Aerosmith want to do something. I have no idea as unlike in Florida, the pre-show is very short and it seems to play continuously so you either walk in when its half way through or miss it completely. The station itself is similar to Florida except the cars are more pimped up and a tad silver. And as for the ride. I didn't notice how tedious the actual ride is in Florida because as the only upside down coaster at Disney World, it had a bit of difference to it. Here at Paris, which has Mission 2, a far superior version of what is the same ride type, Rock N Roller is just a little bit dire.
    Plain exteriors.
    Our next stop was Aarmageddon. Now I have a real problem with this type of attraction. If you told me that we were actually going into Space and we encounter problems then I'd probably come out loving it. But tell me I'm just an actor in a short scene being filmed for a film and I immediately switch off. It's exactly the same problem I have with similar rides in Florida. If anything, this is the only attraction that fits the bill of a studio park but I want to feel like I'm part of a narrative, not just being slotted in around loads of fire effects and smoke. Imagine if in the Hollywood Hotel you were told you weren't actually part of the narrative and just testing the ride system for the TV experience. It would be rubbish. Same applies to Armageddon so yes, probably my most hated experience in the day.
    Our next stop was Tower of Terror where we ended up queuing an hour. Crazy really, but it is the best ride in the entire resort so what the hey.


    After that we went for an English showing of Stitch Live where I was picked on by the character. I am Mark from the London and I am wanted for crimes against aliens. There we are, something new we learn everyday.
    I must have really bad luck as I was also picked on in the Laugh Floor in Florida.
  11. Mark9
    Big Thunder is the quintessential family roller coaster. Mildly fast, full of variety and not too many large drops to scare kids. The general consensus is that Paris's version is the best of the four. While I can only compare to Florida, I'd go as far as agreeing with aspects of that opinion. The only real part where Paris falls down is its queue line. There seems to be various ways that the ride is run and none of them seem that great. On the first day for example, fastpass was available but there was no one batching into the main queue and unlike Florida, the fastpass queue didn't get their own side of the station. So what you had was fastpassers having to split into the queueline whenever a gap appeared. The second damaging thing was that at some point in the queue, it splits into two sides. If you decide to queue on the right you get whacked by a longer queue length, fastpass people attempting to join and that is also the side where disabled guests get on. If you opt for the left hand side you almost walk straight into the station, undeterred by distractions. It's the most bizarre operations and despite it being a very high capacity rollercoaster, has so much faff going on. Florida doesn't have any of these problems so it's almost like Paris decided to try something different and it doesn't quite work.


    The ride itself is similar to Floridas version with two key differences. The first is a fantastic start to the ride with the train dipping into an underground tunnel and gathering a lot of speed before it engages with the first lift hill. It's great to see that with thirty years of running, the Big Thunder lift hills still have the loudest lift chains out there. I wouldn't be surprised if kids were more scared of the noise then the ride. What happens for the majority of the rest of the ride is the same as Florida, California and Tokyo so I won't bore by describing the ride in detail.. except the ending. I was always a bit meh about Floridas dull ending through some rocks and skeletons. Paris is far superior with the train lurching violently to the left, into a cave and descending under the river, gathering so much speed like it really is out of control. I'd bet that it isn't as steep as it feels and yet works very well. The trains pulls up out of the tunnel into the break run and everyone is a bit blown away by that ending. Great finale and really makes the Big Thunder island concept work very well.


    We decided to have another go, what with it being a ten minute queue and chose the left hand side of the queue line. It was then off to face one of my greatest terrors; Indianna Jones!
    I'm not sure what the point of this ride is. It doesn't fulfil the quota of upside down rides as there is already Space Mountain and there's already a ride themed around a mine car at Big Thunder. I can only think that this was a desperate attempt at another ride in the park for adults. Whatever the reason, I know it has a poor reputation for being rough, boring and unnecessary but I kind of liked it. Sure it can't do straight lines or hills without whacking your head on a restraint but as a ride it was perfectly acceptable. It had a five minute queue the majority of the time so I don't think it entirely fits into the park in anyway. If Disney got rid and went for a ride like the version at California, I wouldn't say no.

    Our next stop was Pirates of the Caribbean but was for some reason unavailable. We had the same problem at Florida on our first trip so had no worries that it wouldn't open at some point. We decided on doing some Fantasyland rides such as Pinocchio and Snow White which we queued 10 minutes a piece for. I like this rides because they aren't flashy and "look at me" like some dark rides and they do their job of telling their respective stories adequately. Sure they won't win Gold Ticket awards but for high throughput, reliable attractions they work well.


    Next stop was the notorious it's a Small World. I liked it. I don't know why I like the idea behind the ride when everyone else despises it with a passion, but it just works for me. It looks like its had a clean up too as the majority of animatronics were working, it looked tidy with no dust anywhere and things looked repainted. For a high capacity boat ride, it ticks all the boxes.. even if it never seems to be able to get a queue.



    Finally with the rain now fully upon us, we found a nice hidden away area with one of my personal favourites from the trip, Casey Junior. I adored this ride and I can't figure it out why. It just seems so novel and under-stated

  12. Mark9
    Qui a besoin du monde, quand tout ce que vous avez besoin est une terre
    When choosing the trips for 2013 there was two that were outright yes's and two that came about quite by chance. Disneyland Paris was not an all and all winner, in fact Chris and I were putting off Disney until our California trip next May. However with Disney extending their 20th Anniversary celebrations and with Chris feeling a little Disney craving, we decided to go for Paris even with no Ratatouille. After a speedy 2 and a half hours of Eurostar fun we arrived at the resort. The first thing that hit me is how immediate Paris is compared to Florida. I think inevitably, Florida may crop up again and again as it my theme park benchmark and for me holds a lot of loved memories.


    Whereas with Florida, a long journey from the airport gets you just within the gates of the World, here you stumble out the station into the Downtown area. I somehow missed the tower despite the fact it was my most eagerly anticipated ride. We made our way to our hotel, Sequoia Lodge, a hotel themed around the Wildnerness. Bambi seemed the most prominent character

    Checking in complete and with a bit of Mark9 persuasion, Chris relcutantly said we could have a go on Tower of Terror and also the Army Man parachute thing. The first because it's my favourite ride ever and the second ride was because the next day it was to be closed the rest of our holiday for refurbishment. Our first stop however was the Early of Sandwich which is better then the other fast food offering at the resort.

    TASTY.

    Aww.
    When walking into Disney Studio Park the first thing that really struck is how it is pretty much Hollywood Studios but on a smaller budget and much smaller. The Tower immediately dominates the entire park, hell it can even be seen from Big Thunder Mountain and the Alice in Wonderland maze. The other thing that hit us what the park was busy. We checked out the queue boards and 35 minutes for Rock 'N Rollercoaster, 60 minutes for Army Man Parachute ride and finally a cool 80 minute wait for the Tower of Terror (Which was only running two out of three lift shafts)
    mmmm 80.
    After a bit of wondering checking out just how small the place truly is, we settled for Army Man parachute ride, considering it would be our only chance to ride it. The first thing I have to say is that the queue really was 60 minutes so it was accurate at least. The second thing is that the queue line really was too wide allowing Spanish families to queue jump at will. You may think I'm generalising but the majority of the time it is Spanish groups who create problems at theme parks and after all, I have experienced PortAventura where queuing isn't mandatory.


    The ride itself is okay but not worth an hour waiting time.
    We had a wonder around Toy Story Playland including seeing Rex, leaving Toy Story Land to see Ratatouille construction and then re-entered Toy Story Land to leave for Tower of Terror.



    The Tower. Ey Ey Ey. It is my favourite ride bar none and is truly exceptional. All of the Tower staff need to be paid more for their efforts for example. They don't just work on a ride, they act the part of creepy bell-hops, grinning oddly at guests or deliberately running through the lift doors in utter panic scaring guests silly with their screaming. They help to make each ride that little bit different. The ride itself, well I was reading through a few other trip reports and saw a lot prefer this tower to the Florida one. Both have so much merit but I actually ended up preferring the Florida one. Sometimes the waiting around for a lift in Paris got a bit tedious, what with this tower using two different levels of loading. The actual ride experience is probably just that little bit better then Florida however but ultimately Florida's to me feels more efficient and looks far more interesting then Paris's more blockier, blander look.



    I still love both though and could photo it all day.
    And with our rides ridden, we decided to go back to the hotel and get myself a hair cut before heading to Annettes for some food. Themed around an American diner, this wasn't bad food and I liked how some of the staff went about on roller-skates.


    Bed time, ready for a full on day at Disneyland Parc.
  13. Mark9
    Tornado at Bakken is one of the worst rollercoasters I have ever had the misfortune of riding. It is so atrociously bad that it made me wonder what 25 things are better then it. Here is what I came up with and I hope you enjoy reading.
    1. Being kicked in the testicles
    2. Going to the Dentist
    3. Riding Furius Baco none stop for an hour
    4. Crashing your car into a wall
    5. Being mugged
    6. Having to endure a queueline at PortAventura
    7. Driving in Italy
    8. Being sick after a heavy night out drinking
    9. Getting the Victoria line during rush hour
    10. Sitting next to someone with body odour on a packed out London bus
    11. Watching Holby City
    12. Enduring homophobic abuse
    13. Going all the way to Towers and finding out the Smiler is closed
    14. Reading Theme Park Review
    15. Being insulted by Robb Alvey
    16. Shopping at Asda
    17. Shopping at Primark
    18. Eating Brocolli
    19. Eating Brussel Sprouts
    20. Flying with Ryanair
    21. Being stuck in a lift with someone who has just farted
    22. Queuing for Colossus on one train operation
    23. Living next to very loud neighbours
    24. Riding Saw. At all.
    25. Visiting Chessington during the 2013 season
  14. Mark9

    The 2013 Project

    By Mark9,

    There is no doubt that in terms of theming, attendance and atmosphere, Disney rules the roost in every corner of the world. From the magnificence of Cars Land, the beauty of Expedition Everest and the sheer escapism of Tokyo Disney Sea, it's clear that Disney is the king.
    But do you know what. Travel into Europe and we hold our very own treasure, one that has riches all of its own. From the throughput behemoth that is Europa Park, to the park with two of the best steel rollercoasters in the world at Miribilandia. We've got parks with the strangest names like Plopsaland and Tripsdrill, to parks that are so beautiful that despite the lack of rides are unmatched in Europe.
    That is why for 2013, try and edge away from the Merlin machine. We get so caught up in low throughput attractions, fastrack dominating our queue lines, the loss of magic, budget cuts and short, reduced hours that we start to forget what going to theme parks is all about. That first time visit where around every corner is an attraction you never knew existed. Where discovering new rides and new experiences is the name of the game, where getting on as many rides as you can is not what dominates your day.
    Even if isn't globe trotting to Bobbejaanland and instead popping to Oakwood, Blackpool, Flamingoland or even Lightwater Valley, making the attempt to visit a brand new park is so much more enriching and fulfilling then just going to Thorpe Park, Chessington and Alton Towers again.
    Trust me when I say, it is worth any cost, any time commited towards the trip.
  15. Mark9
    In 2012, Thorpe Park is a maelstrom. It is a giant, it is a behemoth it is, put it simply a hit.
    Seated within its small grounds lies coaster after coaster and some of the most well known flat rides around. Top scans, Afterburners, giant swings, drop towers, sky swats. It even has some pretty nifty water rides in Loggers Leap and Tidal Wave. The Swarm surely secures Thorpe Park at the very top of the theme park tree.
    And yet, a part of me always harkens back to the days where Colossus and Nemesis Inferno ruled the roost, where the top five rides were of real variety, where you could rest away at Thorpe Farm or relax in Sunken Gardens. There are some that must think I'm mad, "Surely Mark, you're into top flight thrills, not boring, meandering train rides to a dull, down trodden farm, a past echo, an area that doesn't deserve its place in a technological forest."
    Sir you couldn't be more wrong and here is why.
    A theme park is more then just the rides that it contains. Sure you can throw ride upon ride upon ride at a place and charge to the hilt. But, particularly in Thorpe Parks case everything becomes samey. It says it all when Stealth, the parks only major roller coaster without inversions, is about the only ride that breaks the mould at Thorpe. The majority of rides at Thorpe spin you in some direction or invert you repeatedly. Many rides do both. Rides like Mr Monkeys Banana Ride and Depth Charge are becoming more scarce in a park that increasingly tries to intimidate you silly.
    Be it beyond me to criticise Thorpe Park and the way it sells its park. I do not have a degree in market research or target audiences and I will never pretend that I do. But I do personally think Thorpe have a problem. There is really, very little entry level rides left at the place and they are the rides that are increasingly being targeted for removal. It's questionable how long Depth Charge or Mr Monkeys or Chief Rangers Carousel have left before they are replaced by another fast, inverting, spinning flat ride. And part of me thinks this is sad. I never ride them and judging by Thorpe blindly ignoring them, I bet very few people still do.
    And this is why my favourite Thorpe Park era was 2003. A varirty of rides of all shapes and sizes, areas where you can rest, a time where every staff member genuinely cared about customer services and the appearance of the attractions and a time where there was real optimism about the direction of the park. Remember these were the days that Samurai still span in Mystic East, Eclipse was brand new and we had only just heard rumours about a possible Xcelerator clone coming to Thorpe Park.
    Exciting days indeed.
  16. Mark9

    The Ride to Happiness

    By Mark9,


    Happiness
    My 100% favourite thing about rollercoasters is that sometimes, just on that odd occasion, something will completely take your breathe away. Something will remind you that your hobby is the best in the world. This trip was a little out of the blue. Initially, we were supposed to go to Towers but once we learned that the Saturday was fully booked and Sunday was supposed to see a high amount of travellers, we took the quick decision to book a ferry to Dunkirk. Plopsaland is a quick drive across the French/Belgium border. There's lots of loveliness to Plopsaland, I was a particular fan of the dinosaur themed log flume and Heidi the mini GCI wooden coaster. But frankly, there was only one ride that bought me here. 
     
    The Ride to Happiness is one of those odd rides that does stick out like a sore thumb. I read the dedicated thread that said this ride does dramatically change the dynamics of this cute little family theme park. Whilst that is true, I actually think that its a good thing that there is something like RtH at the park as it definitely has something special about it. The queue line is a simple affair, two dedicated rooms with little theming areas and a little area under the break run that was never used. On our visit, the queues were minimal with about a 5 minute wait for the ride. Which was perfect to get a real proper feel for the ride.
     

     
    The station is nice and open and it becomes very clear quickly that this is a ride where it doesn't really matter where in the train you ride, the experience is similar. With that being said, the air time on the back carriage is probably the greatest. Like many of Mack's newer rollercoasters, the restraints are near perfect. Not too tight but enough to feel secure. The trains are exactly the same design choice as Time Traveller. With everyone seated and checked, the train is dispatched and your first inversion is a jo-jo roll. It's hard to describe because the sensation of being upside down whilst spinning is so peculiar and unique. It sets up the ride perfectly, this is no normal rollercoaster. Unlike most Mack launches which are normally pretty tame, this feels pretty forceful because of the spinning element and as a bonus, the train is forced to spin near the end of the launch track and it is fantastic. The train travels upwards into a top hate kind of element, the track is slightly banked which encourages the spin to continue and then you just fall. Oh the drop on this is sublime. It catches your breathe quite unlike any other rollercoaster. On a couple of rides, we were on the back carriage and it was in the right position to go down this track backwards and let me tell you, the ejector was exquisite. Absolutely superb. The ultimate adrenaline hit. I adored it and it became one of the many highlights in a ride full of them. 
     
    The train traverses the banana roll which admittedly, was not my favourite part of the ride but the thing is, it was always excellent. With every ride just being that little bit different it always felt fresh and exciting. The vertical loop quickly following this was funky. I enjoyed doing it sideways or with a slight spin. The zero g is also excellent encouraging the train to spin just that little bit more each time. Just fantastic.

     
    Up next is the bunny hop second launch area which just gives the train that extra kick to get into the signature element which surrounds the entrance to the rides queue line. Just wow. Sometimes it was easy to see where the train was going, sometimes the carriage was spinning so much it was hard to tell just exactly where you were. Just completely disorientated. The train drops down over the area, around a lake and finishing off with two ejector filled bunny hops. Packed to the brim with air time you hit the break run happy. And thats really the key to this ride. It reminds me of the first time riding Taron, hitting the final breaks and just smiling. It was wonderful, it was a shock to the system, it makes you want to run round to do it all over again. And that, was what a lot of people were doing that day. There was a lot of us going round and round on this thing to experience it as much as possible. With each ride being so unique and different it was fantastic to just experience it. 

     
    I've never known a ride like it. It was just something special, something completely unique and enjoyable. Huge smiles that I could not hide after each ride. Just hitting that break run, wanting to run around and experience it again. Sheer joy. I'm so grateful for what Blue Fire did for the Mack company back in 2009 because we are now really seeing the fruits of their labour. And what I love about it is that whilst it is forceful and a fast experience, it never feels overwhelming. Whilst spinning around on it, you can see the joy from all your fellow riders faces. We met a person who had been on it over 1900 times and still isn't bored. I've got this far and haven't even talked about the fantastic soundtrack which fits the ride to perfection. Themed around a music festival in Belgium, this could have easily failed but it works perfectly with the rides pacing. Gives me chills.
     
     
    Ride to Happiness isn't just a wonderful ride, it is in my opinion, the finest ride in Europe. 

  17. Mark9

    B&M. A 50th cred run down.

    By Mark9,


    B&M
    Good morning. With Monster becoming my 351th rollercoaster credit it also has the distinction of being my 50th B&M in total. And as a celebration of my absolutely, 100% favourite rollercoaster manufacturer ever, this blog will be relatively brief and a look through the 50. 
     
    1. Nemesis Inferno - 2003. Ah Inferno. Not the bang start but as a ride this has got so much better over the last two decades. Great solid ride.
     
    2. Nemesis -2004. My favourite rollercoaster, one of the best B&M's ever built, in fact just one of the best rides ever constructed. Renewal secures its future for years to come.
     
    3. Oblivion - 2004. One hit pony but it is a great hit. Ironically, one of the best dive machines out there despite the advances the ride type has made.
     
    4. Galatica - 2004. This is okay. One of the weakest in Europe and other of its type are far superior.
     
    5. Silver Star - 2006. A real grower, I wasn't initially a fan but now I find this a really solid crowd pleaser. Capacity and Efficiency to die for.
     
    6. Black Mamba - 2006. I really like Mamba. It does have a weak finale but the theming and excellent makes this a stand out inverter for me.
     
    7. Superman de Acero - 2007. For a long time this was one of my top five rollercoasters. I really like the long layout and darting off into the fields of Spain is actually better then it sounds.
     
    8. Batman la Fuga - 2007. Not the biggest fan of this version. Just a bit meh and its theming doesn't extend beyond the queue and station.
     
    9. Manta - 2011. Wonderful ride, very intense. I love a pretzel roll, give me more.
     
    10. Kraken - 2011. This has grown on me since my initial ride. It's new colour scheme is a bit jerk but nonetheless, a great example of the flourless ride type.
     
    11. The Incredible Hulk - 2011. The refresh has worked wonders and this is a fantastically intense and brutal Sit-down. Really great.
     
    12. Fire Dragon - 2011 (RIP). The better of the two and I was fortunate enough to ride them when they duelled. Much missed.
     
    13. Ice Dragon - 2011 (RIP). I hate JK Rowling. The loss of these two is enough to hate Universal actually. 
     

     
    14. Katun - 2011. An excellent example of an American style B&M but in the hot Italian sun. Fantastic ride and full of force.
     
    15. Raptor (Gardaland) - 2011. A really nice low to the ground wing rider. Love how B&M nailed the concept with their first attempt. 
     

     
    16. The Swarm - 2012. I love the Swarm and the one I've ridden the most. A little short but has aged wonderfully with a very intense helix.
     
    17. Oz'Iris - 2012. Excellent. Near perfection. Varied, unique and different layout and an absolutely perfect zero g roll. Beautiful theming. Three trains What's not to love?
     
    18. Dragon Khan - 2012. An iconic ride. I think this could do with a retracking as legend has it its starting to show its age. Very aggressive ride.
     
    19. Shambhala - 2012. The TPW famous ride, I remember loving this and its fun layout. I'm not PA's biggest fan but this ride alone would attract me back.
     
    20. SheiKra - 2012. Never understood the dislike for this. I really love the absurdly big look of the ride and have always enjoyed it.
     
    21. Kumba - 2012. Retrack please. It rode amazingly but wasn't great when I went in 2017. Absolutely iconic.
     
    22. Montu - 2012. Really not a fan. After the great start, it just meanders around at the end not doing anything particularly special. Batwing is over-rated.
     
    23. Dæmonen - 2013. Very cute. Yeah it's not substantial but at such a short queue and in such a beautiful location its hard to dislike this ride.
     
    24. Medusa (Discovery Kingdom) - 2014. I really liked this car park coaster. Lovely and unique inversions and pretty forceful. Worth going to DK for.
     
    25. Tatsu - 2014. Fantastic ride. It works so well flying above the hills of Magic Mountain and its strange layout really is unique and inspired.
     
    26. Riddlers Revenge - 2014. Another fantastic, long B&M. Unique in one of the last stand ups out there. Really enjoyed it despite the crippling capacity.
     
    27. Batman The Ride - 2014. Ridden backwards so not a true reflection. This was okay but these things should be done facing forwards.
     
    28. Scream - 2014. Under-rated. American B&M's have an advantage in being very long and forceful. This has had a refresh since my visit so looks great now even if its still a car park.
     
    29. Silver Bullet - 2014. Bit meh. It has some nice moments but its a bit too soft for my liking. Rumour has it that it has got a lot better since I rode.
     
    30. Baron 1898 - 2017. Excellent. One of the best rides out there. The story engages me on every level and I could ride it all day. So much fun.
     

     
    31. Monster (Walygator) - 2017. American style B&M in a field. Very good as only slightly better then Raptor at CP because it has no mid course break run.
     
    32. Mako - 2017. I didn't think this would be for me but it was actually a lot of fun and a really good hyper. The mid course kills the pacing though.
     
    33. Oblivion: The Black Hole - 2018. I liked this. One of the longer dive machines out there and its got a nice bit of decoration around the drop.
     
    34. Flug der Demon - 2018. One of my favourite wing riders. Really nice use of the landscaping to create a varied and interesting ride. Great air time as well.
     
    35. Krake - 2018. Dull. Almost as basic as Oblivion but without the prototype excuse. I like the Krake monster but thats it.
     
    36. X-Flight - 2018. Wish I'd ridden more, we got a front row on the first ride so it probably wasn't at its fastest. Basically the Swarm but longer and more inversions.
     
    37. Raging Bull - 2018. Very unique. Not surprised no more twister style hypers were made as this is a real odd attraction.
     
    38. Superman Ultimate Flight - 2018. Boring. It has one stand out moment in the pretzel and the rest is just meandering around above the ground.
     
    39. Batman the ride - 2018. The original inverter and absolutely fantastic. You can see why this was cloned so much based on the quality of this version. Hasn't aged at all.
     
    40. Gatekeeper - 2018. I love this ride. Instantly re-rideable and instantly iconic over the entrance of CP. 
     
    41. Raptor - 2018. One of the more aggressive rides out there. What it lacks in variety it makes up with its just sheer force and speed. Recommended.
     

     
    42. Rougarou - 2018. This is just alright. I'm not sure if the flourless really adds anything to a layout based around being stand up.
     
    43. Valravn - 2018. Boring. The vest destroys any air time and in a park full of big drops, it's not really interesting or unique enough to stand up. Rubbish capacity as well.
     
    44. Leviathan - 2018. Great first drop, the rest of it is very much meandering territory. Legend has it Fury 325 does the concept much better.
     
    45. Behemoth - 2018. An absolute classic. Very good ride full of airtime, great setting over the river and a really long ride. The seating doesn't add a whole lot.
     
    46. Valkirya - 2018. Aside from being a longer dive machine, the vest restraint just kills it for me. Why it couldn't have the normal restraints, I don't know.
     
    47. Fenix - 2019. I really like this, its one of the more forceful versions of the wing rider. Great setting as well.
     
    48. Flight Deck - 2022. Interesting getting back on an older B&M. It rides really well despite its age and I hope it finds a new home.
     
    49. Patriot - 2022. Will probably be scrapped. Is now showing its age and it isn't the most inspired of layouts.
     
    50. Monster (Grona) - 2022. I adore this ride. How they managed to fit it in is just magic. The elements are just so odd and you get crazy elements of intensity in some of the oddest places. 

     
    And therein lies my truth. Here's to the next 50.
  18. Mark9
    Welcome back.
     
    ?
     
    After a week of travelling miles and miles across states and countries it was time to relax. Two years ago my fiancé and I had taken a cruise around the Med and we were instantly hooked. This time we wanted something a bit different and we chose the Alaskan cruise which sets sail from Vancouver. The ship this time is the second in the chain, the Disney Wonder. This is the sister ship to the Disney Magic and whilst sharing a lot of similarities as some minute differences such as Tiannas restaurant instead of a Tangled restaurant and has a different art styling.

     
    Aside from the obvious differences, this one isn't taken in beautiful Mediterranean sunshine. It instead features cold, ice and a lot of rain. Launch day is a very special time on a cruise in general as you start to settle into the ship. You meet your entertainment team, your cabin cleaner, your restaurant team and your dinner friends. 

    We recognised a few crew members from our first cruise. Entertainment Joe Slow is a wonderfully Northern lass from England, her co host from Wales. That gave us lots of moments where they would make jokes that only English people would get. This made the cruise feel very personal. We also learnt they don't have halloumi in America. What the hell?!
     
    Day one, sailing away day and our first meal was in Animators Palette, a restaurant where the screens around the room change depending on the course of the meal before ending with Sorcerer Mickey dances around the music to Fantasmic music. We got to meet our dinner pals which were a dutch married couple who were on their honeymoon. When marooned in America, with kids and crazy proud patriots all round you, it's quite nice to have some European sensibilities around you. It was like a nice break from the crazy and we got along very well. They turned out to be theme park enthusiasts to boot and were visiting Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Knotts Berry Farm and Walt Disney World before flying back to Amsterdam.
     
    The days at sea are ironically the best days as you get to enjoy all the facilities on board. The views from the ship as we went into Alaska are absolutely spectacular. For all the good that the MEd was, this is something else.

     

     

    GLACIER!
     
    We also met Mickey, Donald and Minnie because.. it's a Disney cruise.


     
    The stops allowed us to get very close to nature. Whether that be the salmon doing their run up the river (which was absolutely amazing) or wild Black bears a few metres away from us or orcas swimming alongside the ship the link with the wild was something I'll never forget. 

    BEARS!

    ORCAS!
     
    Alaska is a beautiful state and such a contrast to other states I've done. Whether that be glaciers, waterfalls, forests or beautiful towns that look like they've not changed in decades. 


     
     
    And when it comes to the last day.. well. It's not like a Disney theme park where even if you don't want to leave, you know you can come back. A Disney cruise is something different. The people you share the ship with whether that be the hosts, the people you eat with or the entertainment hosts, that will never be the same. I found it hard to hold back the tears on day 8 because it really is a special week and the idea of not being on the seas, completely relaxed and free with wonderful people is something hard to let go. This for me is probably the purest Disney experience because you are around or near the ship 24/7. And I wouldn't want it any other way. We've already booked our 2019 cruise around the Bahamas and for anyone that wants to holiday a little bit differently, a Disney Cruise is something I wholeheartedly recommend. 
     

     
    Till we meet again

  19. Mark9

    'Wicked' Man.

    By Mark9,

    The Worst GCI in modern history. Wicker Man will be **** we all know it. Doesn't look very interesting, not very fast at all.
     
    Just three ways Wicker Man has been described over the closed season on this forum. There's a wealth of material, of people lining up to give the first modern woodie in the UK in 22 years a good kicking. The point where coaster enthusiasts have already ruled themselves judge, jury and executioner on a ride way before anyone had even had the chance to ride. Here we are a good two weeks later from the preview event and I think there's proverbial egg on peoples faces. I remained quietly optimistic, keeping expectations in check. What I expected was a well paced, fun, mildly thrilling family wooden ride and that's exactly what I got. I knew this wasn't going to be Wodan, it wouldn't be the airtime machine that Megafobia or Tonnerre De Zeus are. But what I did get was the best rollercoaster Merlin have ever built..
     

     
    Now before you decry my last sentence as hyperbolic nonsense, understand something. I love a thrilling rollercoaster but what I really love is an inventive, interactive, original layout. I love getting on a ride, hearing the people around me screaming, loving every moment, hitting the break run and then shouts of amazement, the joy that emanates from the riders. Hit the break run on Nemesis, Inferno, Swarm, Oblivion and you hear nothing, just complete silence. It's just another steel rollercoaster going through the motions. But for the first time in a long while I heard something from a UK ride. People love the Wicker Man. They can't believe that such an old looking ride (bare with me) can deliver thrills, excitement on such a scale. Europeans and Americans are used to the thrill of a wooden rollercoaster but the UK has forgotten that wooden rollercoasters are more then a match to their steel counterparts. For me, this is the first time that Merlin have hit the nail on the head and got it right. 
     
    So why is it so good?

     
    To start off with, I like how little of it you can see from around the resort. There was a lot of discussion around Alton's limitations and how they get around them and Wicker Man is another example of that. The way the ride seems to work on several different levels to gather pace and momentum is right out of the Nemesis/Smiler handbook, the way the ride descends to the bottom of the Flume lake, or the oddity of the lift hill, the way the ride dips through the Wicker Man structure three times, each time getting more and more intense or the way the compact layout eeks out the ride length perfectly. The queue line which features very few switchbacks and naturally uses the terrain to get you close to the structure or the balcony which overlooks the majority of the ride giving great photo opportunities.  The mercifully brief pre-show which I thought was perfect for the ride, telling us the story without getting bogged down in details. At its core, this is a very simple story on a pretty basic woodie but the ride is more then the sum of its parts. The soundtrack which I really like slowly builds up in drama the further into the queue you go. This feels like the kind of ride that you couldn't get anywhere else, tapping into legend in the same way that Hex does. This is right out of the Towers rule book and is all the more stronger for it.

     
    At the moment the rides biggest issues are operational. The park hasn't really got to grips with how to run it yet with very slow dispatches and numerous breakdowns. It only ran for two hours on my visit (didn't help that Nemesis was down all day, curse you Towers) and when Wicker Man was running trains didn't seem to go out very quickly. I don't think the way rows are labelled is very clear in the station either, the darkness and moodiness of the station means people can't see the numbers hanging above their heads and numerous times people were just wondering back and forth lost. If you've ever ridden a GCI woodie you know what to expect here from the Millennium flyer trains. They are comfortable enough to ride in whilst durable enough to take it when you go slamming from side to side on the rides cornering. I won't cover the ride in too much detail as frankly it differs massively from front to back but what I will say is that when this thing beds in, those back row seats are going to be absolutely fantastic. Our first ride was row 5 and then onto row 8 and the difference was staggering. 

     
    I have two main worries. The first is the effects. Lets face it, Merlin are hit and miss with this and as you can see from the Smiler most of it no longer works. No sprayers, no screens, no car wash. The effects on Wicker Man tell a story far more then the Smiler and the danger of the Wicker Man structure having no fire or smoke must be pretty high; I'd be surprised if they still work by June. That's ignoring all the smoke effects before the lift hill, on the first drop tunnel, in the break run. If Towers want this ride to continue to have the positive reaction it currently has, it is essential they stay on top of this. That being said, I think the strong layout helps but on an effects driven ride, that can only do so much. My second concern is the rides longevity. Wooden coasters aren't steel coasters, they need consistent maintenance to keep them from getting too rough, too shaky, too unbearable. I question whether Merlin can give this ride the love it needs five years, ten years down the line. Based on their track record with Colossos for example, they let that go SBNO for two years. I don't want to see that happen with Wicker Man, in my view it's the closest to perfection Merlin can ever get.

     
    So its safe to say, I'm a big fan of the Wicker Man and I call it a triumph for the UK industry. When people were lining up to rip it to shreds, I stayed positive and optimistic and whilst I don't want to say I told you so, I told you so. My biggest hope that comes out of this wooden ride though is that parks like Paultons, Drayton, Flamingoland, hell even Thorpe and Chessington look at what can be done with a ride like this and build their own. The wooden ride genre is big in America, China, all across Europe and yet here, they are seen as dangerous and unsafe. Telling people I work with that I was going to Towers to ride a wooden rollercoaster, they thought it was a disaster waiting to happen. I can only hope that the Wicker Mans success leads to more and more and who knows what that could lead to.
     

     
    Thans for reading and as for a score, Wicker Man is a solid 8/10. I can't wait to get back up there. 
     
    Next time I'll be Enthusiastic Icon. 
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