Sidders

It was retweeted and when I read it I was sad.

Saw TPR's tweet. The one where they called it "STUNNING"

Pacing is just awful.

I propose... The Josher. With thanks to Stretchy for sauce.

People won't be doing that with the excitement of riding. No one wants to read when they're excited.

Dr Who, really? Clearly an IP meant for Alton if nowhere else...

And Storm Surge...

Sorry, but any theme park playing chart music is instantly rendered a cheap knock-off travelling fair - there's no sense of escapism, adventure or excitement. Why on earth would a theme park record the music in the first place? There may have been a time when it suited Thorpe (if you think that), but that time (if indeed it ever existed) is over. It just makes the place sound like any old place you can hear chart music... like on the radio in the car in the traffic jam on the way to Thorpe. How exciting.

I never truly realised just how badly Samurai was run until I'd been on a Top-Scan run by a travelling German fair. Die Kirmes am Rhein Top-Scan is quite literally the most intense experience my body was ever put under, so much more so as I wasn't expecting it to be as intense as it was, because I always thought Samurai did a fair job (despite videos showing it is much slower than it's travelling brothers).

Shall we not.

I agree with ThorpeAddict. The current theme could be used interchangeably with Detonator and Angry Birds.

My mistake then But even so, the original package has plenty of those items in it - from the infuriatingly impossible-to-destroy construction hats to jugs of lemonade and strawberries to doughnuts - they're all in there, at Thorpe's disposal. Would've been funny to see some pigs hanging from balloons like they do in the "Danger Above" extension.

What about the Seasons embellishments? Apples, doughnuts, school books, love hearts, strawberries, bananas, pumpkins, construction hats, balloons, Roman columns, cauldrons, snowmen, fireworks, Chinese lanterns, bunny ears, pots of golds, sunflowers, ice creams... Could go on...

NEW FOR 2014.

It's just Asda.

Benin is your friend.

Well then.

As a subsidiary of Wal-Mart...

Approximately from Stealth's entrance to the car park gate.

A moment of silence please, for the Rickety Jetty...

Added the last two: Well then. Sorry Mark.

That's nice. Looks like it's just you though.

Asda doesn't even belong in England. GET THE **** OUT ASDA. #sainsburyssupremacy

Wait, you can drive?

So I entered all these destinations into a mid-point calculator, we'll be meeting at the Beetle and Wedge Boathouse in Moulsford-on-Thames. I left out Dusseldorf because it seemed to get a bit confused a placed the mid-point marker in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Dammit Walter.