So it's not too often that I need to rant about things. Things have built up reccently though and it feels right to just waffle on because I'm pretty good at that when I want to be.Just for the record, I'm not one of these people that have a negative attitude on life and are over dramatic about everything, in fact, I'm a pretty positive person a lot of the time, but can have rare moments when I get really down and literally just cry until everything just loses meaning.My problems feel pathetic when I look at how some people in this world are living and the things they have to deal with, however I can't help how I feel and you just have to go through the motions and deal with things in the best way you can.I really haven't got a lot going for me right now, everything just seems like a right joke, I feel like a complete failure at everything. I probably sound horrible but the worst culprit for making me feel this way is my mum. I'm living at home as I can't afford anything else, but my mum is a really negative person, she makes me feel bad about myself. There's a whole backstory there but basically over the past few years I've been suffering with depression and she always used to give me grief for it and make things worse. I've learned to deal with it now and as I said I'm a really positive person most of the time.I'm being chucked out if I can't continue to pay rent to my mum, which at this rate I can't because I'm unemployed. Got about a month left. I'll literally have nowhere to go, actually, literally, nowhere. Gonna be interesting that one.Like most people I have family problems, I haven't seen my dad's side of the family for 4 years now. It's all my fault as well; I could easily put a stop to it and things would improve, I guess I'm too emarrassed, ashamed, guilty and scared to do anything about it. I miss my brother and sister so much. Apprently my brother still cries about me, my sister can no longer remember me, Every Christmas I get a parcel from them with a picture of them, and it's like... they're aliens... I don't even recognise them. It could be anybody in those pictures.It's not as if I don't have anything to look forward to. I have loads in the next couple of months. The future is what keeps me going I suppose. I want to go back to college in September which is exciting and a pretty new concept for me. I've got such a good feeling about this year, it's going to be great, and I know it's going to have low points, but that is just going to make me appreciate those brilliant, amazing high moments even more. I have great friends who are so supportive but I don't like to tell them when things get bad because I don't want to let them down. So I'm gonna ride this year out, one week, one day at a time.If you got to the end of this then thank you for reading, I'm sorry for the long post, but I don't do it too often. Take care everyone.