pluk

So the worse it gets the worse they'll make it into a continuing spiral of chaos. What utter utter morons, that makes no sense from any point of view. How can they not see this, and who the hell is running that place so ineptly that this is allowed to happen? Are you going to continue your dialogue with them @Zappomatic and try to explain to them the stupidity and flaws of their current policy?

Are people really still reading this? We're near the end now, lets plough on through. On to the main event, Disneyland Park. Yay! This park starts off much better than Studios, with a real Disney feeling walking down Main Street to Sleeping Beauty's Castle with wonderful Disney scores playing. It hits you, you're in Disney and the outside world doesn't matter any more. A total detachment from reality and into the world of fantasy, that is the feeling Disney is all about. ERT is a solid two hours long with a good line up, including Dumbo, which is Dumbo. 7/10 The Carousel, which is a carousel, with too few adult horses, 7/10 Peter Pans Flight, which felt smaller and less impressive than the original but still cute and a solid 8/10. Buzz Lightyear Oooh look, '5 minute' (read zero) queue. I love a good shooter, especially when the ride is designed for it and not causing the desecration of something superior. The only problem here is the near constant stopping and starting of the ride, presumably for the hard of understanding to board before the floor disappears, breaking any flow it might have, each and every time with an infuriating message warning you the ride is about to restart. Just restart the damn thing already. Aside from that though it is a whole lot of fun. 8/10. Space Mountain Oooh look, another '5 minute' queue. This was one I had been really looking forward to, but was for the most part left disappointed. The exposed launch is daft and shows just how stupidly slowly the train creeps into the building, all effect of speed is lost. The ride, especially near the back, is downright painful through the third inversion and horribly rough (mainly restraint based pain) throughout. The effects are bland compared to what Disney usually do and what I was expecting. I was expecting something that looked like this Basically a modern take on the feel of Lumiere, I don't really know why I expected that, probably from the look of the building and something I read somewhere once, but obviously as reality turns out to be some plastic planets and a projector I was fairly comprehensively let down. That's not to say we didn't actually enjoy the ride which, with a ride count of well over 20, can't be that bad! Just not what it could be. It is also improved no end by sitting at or very near the front, which if you ask for you get nearly every time. 8/10 Also open early were the Orbatron, which looses marks for not being a cute elephant 6/10, and It's a Small World which for my money is the most insulting, patronising hateful piece of junk ever forced upon the world. The small amount of enjoyment which can be found on the original is nowhere to be seen here as 80% of the lighting doesn't work, 90% of it is static, and 100% of it is covered in dust, grime and cobwebs. 1/10 as I'm feeling generous.

It's not hard to understand, it is just an odd comparison to make. Similar to saying 'want a break from the thrills at Thorpe? Go to the zoo instead'. Normally you'd make such a comparison with a tamer theme park, or at least something nearby! It's not wrong or misunderstood, just odd. Anyway, I do love Longleat, as much for the house and gardens as the safari and 'rides'. The drive through is extensive and I find it quite novel, but I wouldn't take our 'good' car through the monkey enclosure, which leaves the unfortunate choice of a few hundred miles in the crap car or missing the best bit. The maze is fun too, as well as the smaller animals in the more traditional zoo/farm areas, there always seems to be staff bringing snakes and spiders out for guests to hold. I only ever go as part of a trip to Centre Parcs next door. That's the strangest thing, wandering round the dark deserted woods at night hearing lions roar in the distance. Unnerving! Unfortunately I've never managed to see the most rare and beautiful creature found at Longleat, which for years I've most wanted to cum across . Kate Humble.

Have you got nothing to say about it? If not why start a topic?

It appears to have left you very confused. What does the Ministry of Joy (200 miles away) have to do with either Thorpe or X?

This is the best use of any time anywhere I can think of.

To add no reasoning and nothing to the conversation, that name sucks bad. Real bad. I can not imagine 'The Smiler' will be a sign hanging over that ride come opening day. Just no.

People may well feel it is a necessity when they see the queue times, doesn't mean they are pleased to be purchasing though. If they feel they have no choice but to pay to have something close to a good day out then they will. But many people will realise that they have been ripped off in paying twice. The rest of the people will realise they have been ripped off by paying once for access to something then being denied that access whilst a steady stream of payers wilks right passed them. How likely do you think those people are to come back? The (admittedly huge) profits they are making in the short term will look like very poor value indeed when in the long term, after feeling ripped off over and over, no one wants to come back. It will get harder and harder, and more and more expensive in marketing, to get people to want to return. They will be voting with their feet, but not on the day. It'll be in the months and years ahead, but it'll be too late by then, the parks reputation will be gone.

Christ on a bike you people make my head hurt. Yeah, the more the pay the better your service with many many things in life. That is not disputed nor is it a problem in any way, shape or form. Fast track IS different. The cheaper service is caused to be poor by the 'better' paid service existing. Lots of people on a high speed train do not make the slow train slower. Lots of people paying for next day does not (in my extensive experience) make your cheaper parcel get significantly delayed. Whether you agree or not that that fast track having the effect it does on regular visitors is a problem (which clearly I think it is) is one thing. Trying to say it is the same as what happens elsewhere is another. To further put into context my openness to fair tiered services based on payment, I have no problem at all with exclusively paid for mazes on fright nights. I would see no problem if all the mazes were a paid extra with a time slot, as long as the park advertised that that was the case. They are afterall very expensive actor heavy and over and above what the park normally offers for (roughly) the same price. The park can still make their money but it is the same, and fair, for everyone. Advertising that the entrance fee includes access to all rides, and then effectively withdrawing that on the day if enough people pay to jump ahead of you (which is exactly what is happening, no one ever knows how busy it will be) is morally wrong in my eyes.

http://www.potionmagix.fr/forumix/oziris-partie-1-t2314.html Don't understand all of any of it, but an interesting look at the control panel and opening operations for OzIris.

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/2012/10/31/interactive-360degree-video-red-bull-action/ I've never seen a video like this before. Wow!

They didn't retheme in any significant way when it from McDs to BK so I don't think they would this time. Unless they are going to complete the retheme of 'Transylvania' into 'inferior theming land' so it fits with what they've done already to Vamp and Professor Burps.

The last attraction at Studios is of course..... one of the best rides in the world. The Paris incarnation in this instance living right up to our memories of its American sisters. People don't need telling of what a detailed work of perfection The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror is, I can not throw a single criticism at it. In Paris it really stands out as being in every way complete, whether that is because of what is around it not being quite as spectacular as elsewhere or if it really is that good I'm not sure. After the time that has passed it is hard for me to make a direct comparison with the others, but in my hazy memory this is the best actual ride sequence. It is the same every time but it doesn't need to vary when it is so good. The second rise and fall in particular is so well timed it manages to give something like 5 seconds of weightlessness. Every time the ride came to an end the lift filled with clapping, whoops, cheers and chatter, not many manage that. 10/10 Other than that we didn't go in Playhouse or Stitch Live, not for us. Studios, done.

Really they are not, with the possible exception of the banking one. I'm saying the problem is with the premium service directly causing the poor standard service, not that the premium service exists as an option. No one buying a premium ticket will make the other train slower. Fact. That is the direct comparison and it doesn't fit. The subsidy system and whole train set up in this country is a scandalous farce, but it has nothing in direct comparison to this. I buy a ticket knowing my train arrives at 14.00hrs, I don't sit on the train for and extra 45mins because after I bought my ticket a coachload bought premium tickets. I don't know how else to word it , it is simply not the same. I see what you are saying here, but there are clearly defined different layers of service. The standard service is advertised within a reasonable fixed timeframe which they generally stick to. The fast service is both prohibitively expensive and itself able to pay for the extra resources needed to deliver so quickly. The postal service does not have a fixed throughput (obviously they do ultimately, but they operate nowhere near it) like a rollercoaster, they can adjust their rounds and hours as demand. ...private hospitals often have their own resources and use nhs ones when they would otherwise be closed (not to say the private/public healthcare thing isn't another scandalous mess, but thats another matter)....I certainly don't have a separate queue for certain card holders at my HSBC, maybe it happens on the phone....02 stuff is a brand loyalty perk mostly originating in 02 operating some arenas, there is nothing wrong with that - you have a free choice of mobile operators and the perks each bring....the plane one is perfect example of how to offer a premium service - you are all getting there at the same time regardless but some can pay for extra comfort or convenience en route. nothing wrong with that. You can't rearrange the seats on a plane, some people will have to sit on their own, people don't end up on their own BECAUSE of others paying - it will happen anyway. Please don't interpret my views as some sort of anti capitalist thing. I myself am frankly quite well off in the scheme of things and I'll often pay for the premium service or product where available. I have never paid for fast track and hopefully never will. I wouldn't enjoy my ride knowing that in doing so I had made someone else have a worse day, guess that is just the way I am. Even if elements of this do happen elsewhere they certainly don't happen in such stark circumstances - it is an absolutely disgusting spectacle watching all the rich people in one line walk past all the poor people in another right next to it, who will all be waiting indefinitely as more and more people pay up. The poor people, remember, have all already paid for their day out which is heavily advertised as a one price for all access and not cheap And this at a place that is supposed to be full of fun and escapism.

F*** me sideways, that gets a wriggle on. Southend here I come....

Sorry, but that is still not anything like the same thing. The people on the slower train are not going slower BECAUSE of the people paying more on the faster train. If no one bought a ticket for the faster train and everyone bought one for the slower train everyone would still get there when they intended to - at the same time if the fast train was full the slower train would not get there even slower - it would get there just the same regardless. It is the premium service directly CAUSING the poor standard service that is the big problem for me. Your Amazon parcel isn't slower BECAUSE of the premium service existing, my NHS hospital isn't crap BECAUSE someone has paid another provider more for better, I can still withdraw my cash when I want regardless of anyone with a paid card, no one is pushing passed me regardless of the colour of their plastic! These aren't the same thing at all. Show me where someone using the premium service will cause me to lose out, and I as the consumer will have no idea that this will be the case until it happens. That shouldn't happen because that is just wrong.

But they don't get to their destination any quicker though, do they? That's what gets me with fast track, I can't think of any equivalent where those paying get their service at such a huge and direct detriment to those who pay less (and lets not forget, have still paid for the service). It sucks, and it will slowly destroy parks as people get pissed off with it and won't come back. Those Merlin profits today will look like poor value in the future. Short termism raises it's head again. As for the staff, they are being put in an impossible position by the unrealistic sales currently being made, I hope they are giving their managers hell over it.

Anyone watch QI this week? That thing with the dry ice and the cardboard box, shooting it across the room like bullets, that's the sort of thing that should be in there while your dicking about on the break run shunting back and fourth. That effect is simple as hell but would be so effective.

Misfits ended for me when Robert Sheehan left, it went downhill fast from then on in. Sheehans new program Me and Mrs Jones which has just started on BBC1 is excellent. Very very funny, especially once the first introduction type episode is out of the way. Check it out. Another one that has recently started and I'm loving is Hebburn. Been a lot of good new comedy recently.

This was a joke referencing the park giving themselves a 4,999 person margin of error. Not to worry, thanks anyway.

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

Mild spoilers ahead....... Back to the front of the park are the two shows which you'd expect Disney to do well, and they do! CineMagique doesn't give much away from the outside, plenty of people were asking the entrance girl what it was and when told it was 'clips from old movies' didn't bother going in. It is so much more than that, telling the story of cinema through the ages by magic-ing the guy from Inner Space into the film because he is using his mobile phone in the theater. Genius. The film itself is a fantastic blend of classic cinema with our hero mixed in as he falls in love with with a black and white starlette. The real life effects, as the characters pop in and out of the screen a few times, are subtle but very effective making the whole thing blend seamlessly. Nothing I write can do it justice because to describe it as bunch of old clips, which is really what it is, goes nowhere to describe the magique it creates. 10/10 The parade coming only once a day is Cars and Stars, which if my memory is correct is near as damn it the same as the American Studios parade. It is quite a nicely done thing, not as spectacular as in the park next door, but a bit classier. The smaller crowds in the park mean pretty much everyone can get to the front so it feels quite personal. Animagique is the other proper show on offer, and this one is full on acted (or mabee puppeted) rather than projected but sometimes it is hard to tell that that is the case. It is an incredibly clever thing they are doing here, a completely dark theater with the actors wearing black suits moving luminous sets and characters around under blacklight. How they don't all run into each other I do not know, and the effect is stunning as the stage fills with movement apparently coming from nowhere as Donald dances around Mickey's imagination of Disney films (or something like that). Anyway, it's so clever I wanted to love it but it somehow left me a bit flat, maybe getting some sort of coherent story going on would help, or maybe at the end they should pull their black hoods off so we can see them (the effect is done so well I'm sure a lot of people don't even realise quite what has happened). It should be full marks and I can't quite put my finger on why it is not. 8/10

.....or two old style trains stuck together. The lap bar question is what it's all about. C'mon the lap bars.