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A happy side effect. Am I right in thinking there have been houses built really close to the farm plot too now? Another reason that side will never be used for guests again if so.

Just two years? Clearly be a third less good then DBGT then. Next they'll be telling us they've only had 666 specialists working on it.

Pleasure Beach facebook. It's actually happening!

Like it was when it was open.

In a word, no. I'd say the biggest problem with the trains is the lack of weight reducing the swing so it isn't as exciting and doesn't flow properly. The problem that causes the discomfort is the trains seem to not be solidly coupled which causes them to shuffle back and forth into each other as it travels along the track. This isn't really noticeable at the front or back but is worse in the middle of the train. Swinging side to side softly is fun, jerking back and forth not so much. I wouldn't really say it's uncomfortable in the painful sense though, it's more just annoying. I've not been for a few years now though, maybe they've fixed it? Doubtful!

Just beyond the fork off to the black spot, if I remember correctly. I could be mixing my memories from 30 odd years ago though. Loooong time!

I know it’s been a silly amount of time since I started this, let's wrap it up. The wait has been because sadly my old laptop has died, taking my photos with it until I work out how to rescue them, so shiny new laptop is good for me and means I can finally write this, but a text only end to this is less good for you, dear reader... My only other experience of a Mack spinner is Sierra Sidewinder at Knotts, which is such a pathetic sucky excuse for coaster I wasn't expecting anything from Euro Mir, but it's ace! The lifthill of forever gives some good fun rave times, the first half of the coaster section with the slow spinning I found strangely unnerving because of the height and feeling of hanging over the edge of the track, and the second half so unexpectedly intense it shocked me. I love spinners in general, and this is one of the best. 9/10. The other big old coaster I was less of a fan of, it's just so uncomfortable in there. Euro Sat I can only assume is themed to replicate the inside of an oven, the slow climb steadily reaching into hotter and hotter air until just when I thought I could take it no more it slams you through its manoeuvres relentlessly until it smashes to an end on brakes, which feel like a lump of concrete has been left on the tracks. I don't know at what temperature steel melts, but I was fully expecting the track to fold away from underneath me like plasticine at any moment. I can appreciate the craziness, but it's just a little too chaotic for me. 7/10 Then we come to the two newest coasters at the back of the park in Blue Fire and Woodan, and they both blew me away. Woodan is rough enough to know it's wood, smooth enough to be enjoyable for everyone. It flies though the course throwing little nuggets of airtime at you over and over, doing nothing too extreme to offend, but never being dull for a moment. It is perfectly executed from the first step into the queueline until it slides back into the station. Except maybe that adverse camber turn into the lifthill - that freaked me the hell out. Blue Fire I'd probably rate as the best in the park. My first Mack launch, and they clearly should be everywhere. The launch smooth and powerful with the train seeming to crackle down the track and the layout fantastic; probably the best series of inversions on any coaster anywhere, especially the last one where the train seems to disappear from beneath you mid inversion. And it's all made so enjoyable by the comfort and freedom of the restraints. Both a solid 10/10. The place is so huge I could write for pages and pages (I know, I already have!), even on just the outstanding bits, which are many. But I won’t, so just to cover a few bits which stand out in my memory… - Arthur (or '**** ***** *****, the ride' as we called it owing to the slightly lively lyrics for a children's ride) is an odd one. We really enjoyed it and the theming is well done, but as an advert for the ride from Mack it seems to be a bit of a shocker with loads of downtime, seats out of action all over the place and a locker room of faff which just does not work. The queue was always slow, long, hot and tiresome, which obviously stands out a mile in a park so obsessed with efficiency. It’s decent enough when you’re on it though. They’ve also taken the two best kiddie rides from Holiday Park with the drop towers and bouncy roundabout thing, which is a nice support selection. - Pirates of Somewhere other than the Caribbean was a blast, really well done, and the second visit to the Wicked Witches clamshells of my youth were vastly superior to the previous encounter on this trip, even if a hanging is a bit strong! Other than that though I think the other dark rides slightly let the park down, with the already mentioned Cassandra, the dinosaur ride being dull and tired, the shooter very forgettable, and the Bench Christmas thing sitting uncomfortably close to embarrassing even if it does just about manage a little hint of charming. - You can really see and feel the quality in the upkeep and theming of Europa on rides with direct UK comparisons; the teacups glide fast and effortlessly, the pirate ship looks like it was built yesterday, the seastorm boats in a room of effects. It’s all like new. - The rest of everything is pretty much all fantastic; I'm particularly fond of a bobsled and this ones great, the logflume/coaster diamond mine interaction, unexpected things to stumble upon like the crown jewels thing, the food being so authentic to the areas, food loop, beer everywhere, stunning extravagant shows, happy enthusiastic staff, wonderful hotel facilities open to all. I could go on for ever more. Everyone said 2 days wouldn't be enough. They were right. I'm not sure two weeks would be enough, I don't think I could ever get enough. Nowhere is without its faults, but Europa has instantly become my favorite theme park in the world. I feel like I've visited at the right time too; the two newest coasters really round off a hell of a collection, and unfortunately I'm not particularly interested in project V. So for now I've had my fix. As we sat with our cocktails under the dancing fountains of Bell Rock on our last night we decided that we most certainly will be back... TLDR - The message is Go to Europa Park!

I massively prefer The Big One, and I'm no fan that either!

I thought I'd look it up as I'd never heard of it. According to TripAdvisor it appears you have voted for one of the very worst restaurants in Southend! YumYum!

My feelings on the Merlin empire, put more succinctly than I've ever managed.

I remember it being quite small even being viewed through my young child 'everything is massive' eyes, with pretty much one big shed of animals and some horses and other bits outside. The excitement for me was the train ride there really, through the train wash. I have fond memories of it too, but the farm would be well out of place in today's Thorpe Park. (Ps, this should be in past, probably merged with an existing thread which probably already exists. I'll do it when I'm not on my mobile!)

'Rise of the Demon' sounds a lot to me the the demon that supposedly died in VR land might rise and chase you through the old shop once you thought the ride was over, in a tacked on Sub-Terra scare maze kind of way.

I wouldn't be surprised if winter maintenance has found some issues with toadstall that mean it can't return and needs significant work or replacing. That thing is ancient, isn't it? It could just be cost cutting, but it must be one of the highest throughput to lowest staffing requirements going so would be an odd choice if it were. I think it's a shame about iceage, I really quite liked it. It's another one with a relatively low cost though, unless they have to pay each time they show the film? It can't be knackered already, can it? 2012's investments really didn't work out well, did they! Yay for Hex! I wonder what improvements will have been made with a whole years of TLC? My guess is none. Although none of this really matters to me as I won't be going with those opening hours!

Yep, M25, A13, seafront. If the A13 is knackered the a127 (next junction) will end up in roughly the same place with signs to the seafront.

Yet...

That Vroomser thing looks like one of those little bouncing rides that they have in Blackpool, Holiday Park and Europa. If so they are great fun little rides.

Ah, that makes more sense than what was in my head, of your cushion doing something odd while you controlled it remotely from across the room!

I need to know what on earth a remote control cushion does?!

Those opening hours are pathetic. Another year I won't be back then.

I had that! I really strong citrus coating which protected my gnashers for years. Seems to have worked, not had a thing done to them since!

I imagine in investment terms it's actually quite a big spend to get it open again. The rights and wrongs of how it got in this state are irrelevant when looking forward, so they need to make sure they get it right before the cash is spent. Will they referb as is, like for like? Will they keep the gist of the ride but make some notable improvements? Will they weave a whole new ride around a variant of loggers? Is a log flume a want for their target audience? How could they know if they don't really understand who their target is? Is a future-proof flume at all viable as a closed water system in that natural location anyway? It's frustrating, but I understand the decision isn't one to be rushed if they're not going to find themselves with a big regret in a couple of seasons time. Hopefully having a new director will give them consistency of direction in the longer term making spends like this an easier decision. I get a good feeling from what I see of him in this interview, hopefully he can deliver...

I last went to the dentist in about 1995, I imagine that is before many of you were born. Dentists are evil. I'm sure they do more harm than good during their teeth scraping checkups. It's all a con I tells ya. I don't go to the Dr unless I'm ill. I don't go to the dentist unless my teeth hurt. My teeth don't hurt, and for that I am thankful. Good luck you people getting variously prodded in the next few day!

1. There are some diagrams a good few pages back which explain how the ride operates; it's a fairly simple 'simulator on a shuttle track' set up as far as I am aware. Or a shuttle track with a bit that can hold the train and acts as a simulator. The only bit that's particularly clever is the raising in and out of the shell train at the start in a way that is hidden from view, but even that is technologically simple. I don't think there are any behind the scenes pics out there yet. 2. These are already a thing; different headsets get different characters with slight variations. It might not have got up to 12 but the differences are so slight as to not really matter. The overall experience remains the same.

New IP could mean the end of Lionsgate (which they've been moving away from for a few years now anyway) with a new theme across the whole of frightnights, or it could mean a new single maze IP from the Lionsgate stable?

That bell at the start still gives me shivers like I'm 6 again.