JoshC.

Average. The best word the describes Zufari. (Warning - this post will contain spoilers). Can someone explain how this in any way builds you up nicely to an African safari? Simple answer - it doesn't. The fact that this is a bridge over to the plaza, I'd have expected some form of nice view to the ride in some way, but nothing. You pretty much don't get to see the ride till you're on it, which in this case doesn't serve the ride well. This is meant to be something to be looked at, enjoyed, with the exception of the cave, which should be hidden away. Instead, everything seems hidden away. I also noticed this under the entrance hut. Sure, it's nice, but what does it have to do with an African safari? The Pre Show The bit with Chase is nice, though I couldn't help but feel a bit more about what ACRE was and why it exists wouldn't have gone a miss. Then the Lemur bit. Well, the kids seemed to enjoy it. And this is my problem with Chessington in general at the moment - the kids enjoy everything loads, whereas everyone else is left content - not how a family park, not this family attraction, should go. Anyways, I digress. The lemur bit was annoying, cringey and just in general meh. One thing which I found is whenever the operator uses the PA system, you hear it too clearly in the preshow room, and it just ruins everything. Design flaw there. It's annoying how there's still a bit of a queue afterwards - isn't a preshow meant to be something that comes directly before a ride? The Experience So, after more waiting (and getting confused by the row system, which should be clearer as people kept going into wrong rows..), we got on. It was taking ages for the trucks to go, even when everyone was strapped in. Don't quite get that. So, it's very bumpy, perhaps a bit too bumpy at points, but it does reflect a safari well in that respect I guess, and you adjust to it after a while. When it comes to the animals, we saw most of them, I think at least. The thing is though, you don't get a chance to observe them. You drive past, it's quite bumpy and you just see a few animals here and there. The pre-recording speaker thing was okay, but it wasn't much cop really - I didn't really realise it after a short while. I want a chance to see the animals, be able to admire them, take photos of them, which I just found wasn't easy enough to do on this ride. Whilst it may slow the pace of the ride down a bit, why can't you just stop for a bit, near where the animals are currently, so you can actually appreciate what you're seeing? The flamingos were way in the distance. You're having a giraffe...or two. The rhinos were mooning us. The ancient tribe carvings about the cave of danger. One thing I noticed, which annoyed me, was the 'traffic lights', which I guess were there for the drivers to know the truck ahead wasn't too close? Our truck did stop once for these, and it wasn't anywhere exciting. Whilst I understand they'll be there for safety, they could have been a bit more discrete surely?! Something which struck me was the lack of build up to the cave. It's mentioned in the preshow, which to me made it feel really obvious you'd go in there, and it's mentioned once on the on board audio? I'd have thought they'd want to make people fear it a little more, as it is the big finale of the attraction. The Cave You've heard the warnings, and now you finally see it - the cave. Really effective stuff there. [/sarcasm] THE DANGER CAVE OF DANGER! So, you see it, and you hear on the audio there's no other way, we'll have to go in the cave. There was no urgency regarding it, it was so blasé, as if it was the norm to go into dangerous caves ancient tribes feared. The described route of the trucks didn't even seem to show an alternative route that was cut off, it was just sorta like going into the cave was meant to be, not a last resort (at least, that's how I saw it). What would have been better was for the truck to stop, and the driver to physically say "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, unfortunately our route has been blocked off. We're going to have to go into that cave, but don't worry, it's safe, no one's gone missing..." and just sort of trail off or mumble. It would add to that sense of fear and danger, which is what the cave should be about. Oh well. EDIT: After watching some POVs of Zufari on Youtube, turns out there was something like this, with a path blocked by a tree, and Chase saying we need to take a different route. Didn't hear that on my go, nor did I notice the blocked off route - I did notice how the truck reversed a bit to make a turn, but just thought the driver underestimated the space needed. So yeah, not obvious or effective at all there... The cave itself is alright. It's nothing special, just a few mist sprays, noises and lights, followed by going under a waterfall (which DID surprise me; thought it'd be one of those turn off things and we'd just get a quick splash or something). So yeah, it's alright, but nothing as special as it should be. This then ends the ride, with the audio playing "We thought we lost you, oh my!!", or some rubbish like that. The story isn't strong enough, and that was something I was expecting with this. Okay, it's not piviotal to the attraction, which is about recreating a safari, but still something which should have been done well. All in all, it's an average attraction. Maybe I was expecting too much? Despite the fact you can see that Chessie have tried, really tried, and that it's great to see a ride-zoo attraction, I just can't say it's anything better than average. It is something I will do again, and I hope that as time goes on, the ride will age well, and the park can tinker around with it in a way that will ensure it works nicely in the park. Zufari - 5.5/10

So, went to Chessington today. The plan for a while had been to go during my Easter break, but whilst schools and colleges had gone back. The original plan was to go at the end of March, but due to the weather and the general case that Chessie seemed to be a bit off their game meant we decided to go this week. Today seemed to have the best weather, but unfortunately it seemed loads of local kids had an Inset Day, making it for quite a busy day, with queues avergaing between 20-40 mins (that I saw), and Fury peaking at 60mins, though it looked more. After popping to AS to pick up my Nan's disabled band, we moved on to Rattlesnake at just after 10, which has become a sort of traditional first ride these days. Unfortunately it wasn't open, and we were told it'd open soon, but how long was unknown. Instead of waiting around, we moved over to Tomb Blaster, made our way through the Disabled Exit to be told it was closed, though would be open soon as they were doing final checks. It did indeed open in a few minutes, and the staff member there was very nice and had a good chat with him, but surely all these final checks should have been done before the park had opened to guests. If the park is opening at 10 (and expecting it to be quite busy due to Inset Days), surely the rides should be ready to run at 10? Oh well. Had a ride on Tomb Blaster and my gun wasn't working properly. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. It was a bit annoying, and I did inform the staff who offered us another go, but we declined as we weren't too fussed by it really. We headed over to Zufari and did that. I'll do a review in the Zufari topic, but in a word - average. Of all the animals featured in Zufari, the Oryx are my favourite. Loved this ones strange 'one big, one little' thing it's got going on.. Hit up Wild Asia with Kobra and Lorikeet Lagoon. Personally, I think Wild Asia is one of, if not, the, best area Chessington has to offer, and Lorikeet Lagoon is quite possibly my favourite part of the park. It's just brilliant. Fantastic. Amazing. Any positive word in the dictionary describes it beautifully. We then headed over to Rattlesnake, which was now open. It is something I really do love, but it felt a bit more jolty this time, guess it is aging though. <3 My 'trying to not look awkward and failing' face. Scruffy lorikeet. It was time for lunch, and after realising that the Fish and Chips place was closed, we tried the Burger Kitchen. Okay, I don't know the best way to put this, but here goes...DO NOT EAT HERE. I'd heard it wasn't exactly great, but did think some of it was people expecting too much. But dear me, the burgers were awful. The cheese was vile, it wasn't exactly a nice thing to look at and it's just the eptiomy of bad. When it comes to food, I normally have a pretty strong stomach, but it did make me feel physically ill (nearly was a couple of times as well...), and in honesty, my stomach still feels a bit dodgy now. We did make a complaint as no one enjoyed the meal, and did get a full refund (speaking of money, am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculously expensive?!). We were told they've got new "high quality" cheese, but when melted, it changes, or something like that. Just not impressed by it all, and they said they've had "a lot of feedback" about BK. Hopefully they'll finally take the hint that it needs a complete rethink and the food needs sorting. On a more positive note, there was a great member of staff in the Burger Kitchen who was extremely friendly and helpful - gave him a good word at AS! So yeah, that's a quarter pounder burger... So, the rest of the day was spent more enjoying the Zoo and such, and not going on rides. The park doesn't look as good as it has in previous years, and in general the park seems of lower quality. It is such a shame that the park 'feels' different to me, as I normally enjoy the place loads (and that's even if the park wasn't on top form), but, I dunno, it just seems to be 'too off form' at the moment, which just isn't good.. Just looks awful at the moment. Meerkat! Nawwwwwww Normally I end my Reports or Reviews with some form of closing statement, maybe a bit philosophical. But in this case, all I have to say is Chessington need to get back on their game, and soon.

Sad to hear that Ryan, you've been a Mod for ages (gotta be at least 3 years?) and you just felt like a member of the Team Furniture really, if you will. I know I've had a couple of little arguments with you in the past, but I'm glad they were sorted out quickly and smoothly; you're a great member and seem like a great guy. Hopefully I'll still bump into you every now and then at Thorpe, ey?

Personally, I've always thought the end of day music was a bit too Chessingtony, but it was still pretty good. But that is just, well, awful. Playing The Noise parkwide with just the odd announcement saying how the rides are now closed would be fine. The Noise itself is alright, it would fit in okay I think for when the rides are closed and wouldn't sound so intrusive..

Oh dear, that was awful. Whoever thought that might have even possibly been a good idea / replacement for the end of the day music needs their head(s) checked.

What kind of world do we live in where an admin double posts in the space of 2 minutes? On a serious note though, they look quite good and a nice modern update. Hopefully they can be put to good use and we actually begin to see more accurate queue times and not let these go to waste.

We'd never see Thorpe apply for a coaster of 200ft plus again as it would require them to have a roller coaster not painted black or grey.

I don't think Asylum normally has its signage kept throughout the season, though I could be wrong there. This season's map suggests that FN could see changes, so I'd expect at least one maze to go, likely Asylum or Curse. Asylum needs to go in my opinion, it's been on park in its current incarnation for 8 years, and The Freezer wasn't much different - 11 years on it is in need of a complete change. I've also heard rumours of there being 5 mazes this year, so there could be a brand new one as well. I do agree with the park wide theming though. The idea of a Thorpe Park prison was great; hopefully they can extend on that more.

When it comes to 'Expiry Dates', people seem to get confused a lot between 'Display Until', 'Best Before' and 'Use By'. -Display Until is only for shops to worry about. Found on things like eggs and some desserts (like chessecakes and stuff), you just ignore them. -Best Before is usually found on stuff like bread, cereals, chocolate, some fruit and veg, etc. etc. Basically means it's safe to eat after that date, but may not taste to the quality the manufacturers expect. For example, bread a couple of days out of date may be a bit stale / hard, but it's safe to eat and stuff. Normally use your own judgement as to whether it's okay to eat or not. -Use By is found on dairy and fresh stuff. Use by the date shown otherwise it's a health risk, though it can sometimes be okay. Anyway, I digress. Glad you made a formal complaint Smidget - you've ranted about your flatmates a few times and hopefully something good can come of this. Makes me realise how lucky I am with the people I'm sharing my kitchen with!

I've heard rumours swaying both ways towards whether the next major coaster will be 2015 or 2016, so I remain 50/50 in that area. One thing which remains apparent to enthusiasts, and possibly non-enthusiasts, is that the non-coaster year investments at Thorpe haven't exactly set the world on fire. After the past 10-12 years Thorpe have had, throwing attraction after attraction, investment after investment, would 2 more non-coaster years affect the park in a more than negative fashion (especially if they're similar to past ones we've seen)? I dunno. As for what I want, I don't know. I believe near the end of last year, pluk set up a 'Next Big Thing' thread, where I mentioned about either a woodie or just a plain and simple, fun coaster with plenty of air time could be good ideas, but they both had negatives to them. I still remain of the exact same opinion really. Like many enthusiats though, I'd love to see a ride which focuses mainly on airtime (and that's not just directed at Thorpe, that's directed at the UK in general). If that could fit in with Thorpe's idea of their next big coaster, especially as they can go up to 50m for this one, that'd be great. The one thing which continuosly hangs on my mind, however, is that the MTDP stated how the "2012" and "2015" coasters would not exceed 850m in length. Presumably, regardless of whether the next coaster opens in 2015 or 2016, it would be under that restriction, and possibly could not be changed even with a specific application (I dunno too much on planning constraints though, so don't take any of that too concrete...). I personally would not want an airtime monster if it's going to be 'short and sweet' if you will; I'd want one which goes on and on for a long period of time. Ditto with a woodie / RMC hybrid - why get one when it would be short compared to many other woodies? So basically, I don't have a clue what I'd put in at Thorpe next. They have a large variety of coasters at the moment, and other coasters which I think would add to the current line up perfectly would not shine under the current planning constraints I believe the park are under.

Dunno really, just not my cuppa tea.

Nice view of Stealth, nice sky, but that rope ruins it somewhat. 4/10. Oh, and Mer... It was Saw, but it was taken in the middle of summer on probably one of the hottest days of 2009. Guess that's what I get for using a 3MP camera phone though

Just realised that the July date is thrthe same day as the Black Cherry Fair, which is something I always do and usually ends up being as nice family day. Will end up as a maybe for everything then.

Yes.

The vertical loop with 'top hat' on Full Throttle at SFMM has been completed: (Credit to The Coaster Guy's FB) Looks okay I guess. Them supports though...

Just something I want to point out... When people post photos that aren't their own, can they credit who it belongs to? I know I've been guilty of it in the past, and it can sometimes annoy people if they haven't got credit for their own photos, and would hate to see people on here get in trouble for something like that.

As it is, Rumba needs a bit of TLC. The cave feels like a bit of a mess, needs some sorting out. Then just some form of water effect during the ride apart from the tunnel and the finale; nothing too extreme, just a bit of fun. I do enjoy Rumba and is one of the few rides left of park where you can simply enjoy it with a group of people. It just needs a bit of work to be brought up to standard. Seeing the touch ups and improvements made this season, I'd hope that in the next year or two, we could see something of some substance.

The indoor MCBR is meant to be crossbows; you hear a crossbow noise at the same time as the air, but it's sorta drowned out due to the noise of the air. I honestly don't think it was meant to recreate / resemble any of the traps from the films - I'd bet my bottom dollar it will be exactly the same if the Saw IP gets dropped.

"Rate the avatar of the person above you." => gives a rating / score. So, James. ORP of Swarm - instant 8/10. Go for a goofier look for a higher score.

Last week the park was rather quiet as far as I'm aware, no doubt due to the cold weather and snow. I dunno what it's been like this week, but it's warmed up a bit now, so it's probably getting slightly busier. People may have put off trips till the end of Easter break due to the weather. I'd say for Thursday expect queues of up to an hour for the major coasters (and maybe X, due to the reduced capacity and that), and around 30 minutes for the flats. Could be a little more, could be a little less - a bit of an unknown at this stage I'd guess though!

Rush seems to always have a dodgy start to the season, whether it be opening late, having some downtime, only swing open, etc. It seems to work better as the season goes on, at least I think so. Replacing Rush would be needlessly costly and pretty much pointless.

I've given up worrying about my weight now to be honest. When I was younger, I was borderline anorexic and underweight. I then became overweight and have stayed overweight for goodness knows how long - probably about 8-9 years now. In terms of BMI, I was probably classed as obese. These days, I'm probably simply classed as overweight according to BMI (body fat I have no idea) and weigh somewhere in the region of 13st. Since starting uni, which led to me eating more healthily and eating less, and going on jogs more regularly, I have lost some weight, but it doesn't show really - maybe I've toned up a bit, but it doesn't seem like it. I have lost an inch or two from my waist, but it's only really something I've noticed from wearing my jeans; it doesn't physically show. Peaj - good luck with everything! If I were you, something I'd always keep in mind is you're not unhealthy really (in my personal opinion, it's better to be a little bit overweight than a little bit underweight - if it had to be one or the other that is), so even if you don't lose as much weight as you want / tone up as much, as long as you're trying and have the intention to continue, you're all good and there's nothing to get hung up about if you don't do 'as well as you wanted'!

Bit crude maybe, but oh well...

The bridge near Stealth will probably come when the coaster on the next island opens up. I have heard the odd case from non-enthusiasts about not being sure how to get to Swarm; though it was literally the odd one case, but seems to be a bit more common. Maybe as the park continues to expand size-wise, a couple of signposts here and there to major rides might be a good idea?

I'd ride it, and as others have said, it would probably fit in in somewhere like Adventure Island. Wouldn't put it in at Thorpe. Too funfairy. Sure, they're a thrill park, but Thorpe should be considering things which will continue to bring people in - a ride like this would get old quickly, and is too common. They need things which are special (not necessarily unique) and won't wear off quickly. One final thing, and it's the thing which stood out most to me... What makes you think they'll be a 2014 ride?