Santa

So I've been spending the last couple of days wrapping presents, as you can imagine. I always find the best song to wrap to is the greatest Christmas song of all time, the upbeat and feel good Sleigh Ride. Which incidentally, I'm about to embark on... Now it's a closely guarded secret what everyone will get, but just this once I'll going to show you what I'm loading in my sleigh for a particularly naughty boy, a Mr N. Varney of Staines, who needs to set himself some higher goals in the coming year' His gifts should surely help him him achieve this: Firstly... A Rumba Rapids pressure washer, hopefully this is what he plays with on boxing day, he'll have hours of satisfying fun getting rid of all that crud that's been building up for years! Also... A brand spanking new Fastrack calculator. The one poor old Nick has been getting by on only has one button working, which just happens to be the '£' button. This one might just help him do some sums to stop his home descending into chaos when more than a couple of people pop over. Finally... This one's going to weigh my sleigh down alright, but it'll be worth it if young Nick puts it to use like I'm hoping. For the good of all mankind, please Nick, swing your StormSurge wrecking ball and swing it good. After tonight's delivery efforts, during which I'll get through gallons of super strength noggin the good people of the world will put out for me, I'll be comatose for days. Weeks maybe. So that's it for my DJing exploits. It's been a pleasure. Until next year... HoHoHo!

I don't know what you mean. An empty sack for you, you naughty little boy. CHEESY TUESDAY - Something you love, but maybe you shouldn't. It's great, in an awful way. I wouldn't mind unwrapping these HoHoHoes, the Waitresses, Christmas Wrapping. http://youtu.be/nud2TQNahaU

HoHoHo! Thanks for that selection Matt, for being such a good boy I will make sure I empty my big bulging sack down your soot pipe later this week. That's got to be something for you to look forward to! Sorry for being late, it's a busy time of year for me don't you know! MELLOW MONDAY - Some thing you like to relax to. There's nothing I like more after a night on the tiles once my years work is done then heading home to put my feet up, and what a lovely relaxing little number this is to do it too. HoHoHo!

I'm in. HoHoHo

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! I hope you've all been good boys and girls and I brought you everything you wanted. If I didn't then you've probably been a naughty little boy and you only have yourself to blame. I'm looking at you Toofpikk. With my work done for the year I'm on the sherry and mince pies now, you should be too. Have a great day! Until next year, Santa X