stretchy

OK construction update for all you lovely Maniacs. Goal striker has been closed. So where to look. The Gates, I think. One min though. They seem to have added blackout cloth. We cant even look through the padlock hole But nothing twarts Super Stretch. Using the power of my telescopic arms I present you The Other Side! OK we headed over to the park entrance to meet Coaster and wondered what the queue times were? So what else is being constructed? I hear you ask. Well over in Haunted Hollow we have this And the Sanctuary Queue now has this By the way, Sanctuary looks reasonably complete. AN area of Fountain Square has been cordoned off. And they seem to be adding these: There are 3 of them in that area and there is one of these to the left of it Zombie looks untouched but Smiler seems to have caught a Tribble

Hey guys and guyesses. I vaguely remember volunteering spaces in my car for the weekend. But have no memory of who I have agreed to transport. Can whoever needs/wants transportation pm me so we can discuss where and when.

I will be there and so will some of the other Nerds

OK emails have just been received by a few of us EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW EVENING FRIDAY 4TH OCTOBER 6.30PM - 10PM Dear Stretchy the All-mighty. We're thrilled to invite you to our exclusive Fright Nights Preview event for Merlin Annual Passholders & Merlin Members on 4th October. Be the first to experience the UK's premiere Halloween event, as THORPE PARK and Lionsgate presents a horror movie takeover for Fright Nights in 2013. UK Halloween fans won't need to head to the USA to experience the ultimate scare experiences this year, as THORPE PARK has teamed up with Lionsgate - to bring some of their iconic and award winning horror films to life. Thrillseekers can brave terrifyingly entertaining scare attractions based on popular Lionsgate movies including The Cabin in the Woods, My Bloody Valentine, Saw, The Blair Witch Project and You're Next, and experience the Park's exhilarating thill rides long into the dead of night.* On 4th October, between 6.30pm - 10pm we are opening our gates exclusively to Passholders & Members to preview this epic event before the general public - for free! Spaces are strictly limited, and booking will go live on Friday 13th September at 6.30pm on the link below - so be quick and don't miss your chance to secure your space! Due to the nature of this event we recommend that it is not suitable for children under 13 years of age. Book tickets http://fnpreview2013-map.eventbrite.co.uk/ from 6.30 pm Friday 13th Mwahaahaahaahaahaaa OK I may have added the Mwahahahaha and maybe changed the name a bit.

I totally agree Ricky. At the start only 1 of the cars was rough, now all are rough and there are 3 noticable jolts not 2. The third one isnt as pronounced but is where the bolt fell from, I dont think they smoothed the rejoined bit out.

I am extremely underwhelmed with this. They should have added 'Smirker' a kiddies version of Smiler.

Stairs aren't unheard of in scare mazes. Both Terror of the Towers and Sanctuary have stairs in them at Towers.

I personally thought swarms marketing was excellent. The problem I have with Swarm is that for me it is a forceless design and far far too short. I want a ride with a bit of substance to it. The problem with wing riders is that none of them are getting that good a review. They are OK but not ultimate thrill rides, no mater how they are marketed. I think that this is the reason The Smiler is getting such good reviews. It is a ride with substance. It isnt over in 30 seconds, you come of it knowing you have ridden a coaster, rather than sat in a park and watched the birdies (which is how I come off Swarm). What I would like Thorpe to do is something huge. Not necesserily huge in height, but huge in length. I would like a ride with plenty of air time AND an invertion or two. I would like it to take more than 30 seconds to ride the ride. regarding vendor: I think Smiler has proven that it isnt only B&M that can create good rides for Merlin so I don't think the vendor of the ride maters as long as it is huge and smooth and impacting and a good ride.

Those of you who are staying in Newcastle under Lyme, could I tempt you to try a traditional Stokey breakfast on Sunday Morning. Oatcakes are a traditional stoke dish (no not the scottish ones). Loads of details about them can be found http://www.staffordshireoatcakes.com/ and the place where I suggest going is on the A34 leaving newcastle heading towards Alton Towers. http://www.castleoatcakes.co.uk/index.php/menus

I wasnt impressed with this either. It seems extreely short and, as, has been said above, totaly misses the point of a woodie. I think Big Dipper at Blackpool will be a better ride and thats 90. (and dont get me started on Rob 'All brits are stupid' Alvey)

The net is quite strong. I tested it by having it lift me.

Even more netting has been added to The Smiler since I was there a week or so ago.The netting now covers ALL of the queue line

What would be ultra cool is if they give each group a video camera at the start of the Blair Witch Project maze. Then at the end of the maze, they could rake in a fortune selling the videos to you. I'm sure you can get cheap short throw video cameras that send to a central listener server and then to a DVD printer.

As some of you will know. Kingy and I went to Blackpool to celebrate the Big Dippers 90th Birthday party. The following are some piccies that I took/. Sorry some of them are a bit blurred. They gave us free alcohol. View from the hotel. Yup we were that close to The Big One Where first? Well we did the dungeons first but your not aloud to take piccies in there. so onto the Towers I think. Visibility was quite poor from the tower. Look at the sea. Yes its that white area beneath the white area that is the sky. Look you can only just see the beach below. And this is where we are heading next, Visibility was really poor, I had to Photoshop that so you could see anything in it. Look down. Its like we are standing on a really scratched nothing. So we left the tower due to the fogginess and headed down the promenade where we met this rather tranie looking version of David Tennant. and suddenly the mist seemingly magically lifted and the sun burst through to reveal this: So we grabbed a pint at Joss's pub and then ventured onto the Pleasure Beach, was where it always was. We went in and queued for tickets in the usual ticket area, when we got to front we were told that we needed to queue somewhere else. So we went and queued somewhere else. This is where I got rather annoyed. We had paid £18 for our tickets, yet they were selling them, on the day, for £6. I did confront the guy who was giving us our tickets but he had a 'I don't give a ****' kind of attitude and as we left the ticket area I was fuming, ready for an argument with the first member of management that I found. It turned out that we didn't see a member of management, instead we were greeted with Champagne. Joss became rather blurred by the prospect of free champers There was a cake too. And even little cakes A reasonable crowd of slightly blurred people were now arriving. This is proof that people actually go blurred after beer, its not just your perception of them See Rollercoasters aren't blurred, just people. Oh and posters are blurred. This one was smashed through by the first train as the cake was cut. And who would cut that cake? I hear you ask. Why its Amanda Thompson, who is some how, thought that it was winter and came out wearing about 14 layers including this rather fetching Body Warmer. Just as an aside, you can see who here has had Champagne and who hasn't. One person has had way too much Champers The first train was loaded with people, some of whom had partaken in a drop of Champers Unfortunately I could take photos of either the car tearing through the poster in a hyper dramatic way, or Amanda plunging her knife into the cake. I chose the cake. The crowd all counted down 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 and the knife is plunged through the cake with all the brutality of a mass murderer. And the Big Dippers car disappears through the ear of the white haired chappy in front of us with jets of smoke and hoorays from the crowd. I was suddenly distracted by how beautiful coaster track is against a dimming evening sky. Joss clipped me around the ear and we went down the steps where a mermaid lounged and disco lights danced And a DJ talked up the crowd Suddenly the mermaid recognised me and chirped up. I honestly don't know why, as we didn't bother to rescue her from her fountain imprisonment, instead we went and rode the Big Dipper And here is our train, sporting a lovely pair of head lamps. We did the usual cheer as we left the station, deafening the DJ and headed up the lift hill. As we did we got the whole train singing Happy Birthday to the coaster. This was one of the cool things about the evening. Everyone was in a party mood (most slightly blurry from the champagne and free beer. As we got off the ride we bumped into Lee, who was the only other coaster fan we recognised there. (poor show chaps) Joss wouldn't let me steal this cool little model. A picture of the birthday girl looking fetching against a tumultuous sky. and why oh why oh why isn't the park open more in the evenings. It is beautiful. So since I had never ridden Walace and Gromit, we decided to head that way. They saw Joss and myself and started dancing with joy I think they had been on the Champagne because we we neared we realised they were also getting blurred. So what did I think of the ride. It was OK. I agree with most of the criticism on it. It is a shame it wasn't an original story, instead it is a collection of disjointed scenes. It was food time next. The offerings consisted of a choice of Fish and Chips, or Hotdog and Chips. Served with a free pint of beer and doughnuts for desert. The chips came in their own bucket. Here you can see Joss attempting to eat them with the supplied shovel. What next? well the Grand Prix was also open so we did that. This ride is really not designed for large people. Note how Joss is sitting in the Passenger seat and driving. I was the same and it was the only way to fit in. So Joss went off then to ride Infusion. I had previously ridden it and didn't want my back torn to pieces by it. As you see, he had been hitting the alcohol heavily. So much so that his blurr field extended back to the whole train. It was at this point that we made one hell of a mistake. Lets go back and ride the Big Dipper, Joss said. Sure I said. The DJ had scarpered. I think he knew what was coming. And what, I hear you ask, was coming? This was: It was the wettest I have ever been on a coaster. The rain was torrential. No I really mean torrential. It was so heavy that in the 30 seconds or so that the ride took we went from being dry to Valhalla wet. We sprinted from the ride to the bar, the above photo was taken as the rain started to ease. You cant really see how wet Joss is But the my Smiler T shirt shows full extent of wetness (and the need for a diet) We did a few more rides, our last one being 2 consecutive blasts on the birthday girl her self bringing us up to the 11 pm end of the night. As we ambled back to the hotel you realise how pretty The Big One looks in the night and also realise that maybe its been on the beer too. All in all it was an excellent evening, even though I still feel a bit ripped off that other guests got in for £6 yet the actual fans had to pay 18 but Blackpool should be proud of the evening. It was extremely well put together and total fun and everyone there was having a fun time (even the staff who mostly had huge grins on their faces). I will definitely come back for the next party, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank-you Blackpool. I will leave you with what the park looked like next day. and a link to my full album of pics https://plus.google.com/photos/106418309379254557984/albums/5915744053663288737/5915746581773145858?pid=5915746581773145858&oid=106418309379254557984&authkey=CKfNyuu4o6GUdw

Hmm The'yre coming. What follows that They're Here Ohh one min. that's a slogan from a horror film.. .. .. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1029360/ oh shame. Its not out till 2014. ho hum that's a shame.

I will try to join you for at least one of the days of this trip. I will definately be able to join you Saturday evening for an hour or two 'Newcastle Under Lyme's amazing night life, I have lived around this neighbourhood and never noticed it before. We normally just go to the pub and get drunk Regarding the water park. I am not sure if I will join you for that part. Last time I went heard the sound of Japanese Whaling ships at one point and decided I better get out before my beer gut was harvested.

I think I need to learn more about coasters

I don't like him. Too not Matt Smith for me.

Smiler was closed again today but here's a couple of photos of the new netting: Also, in a worrying way, the overflow queue has been removed and is now here. Is this a sign that the smiler isn't going to open any time soon?

2 versions. You choose which you read. short version. socks drive, friends wait, wet and smelly shower, habanero beer 4 X 2 swarm NI beer more rides bright light bop beer bop beer that's not 90's bop beer I like farmers 3 Swarm NI lunch drive. Long version Panic wracked by brain as I ran through the house like a tornado on its way to a wedding. 'Noooo' I shouted into the air, falling to my knees. 'There has to be socks somewhere'. But no, all of the sneaker socks had chosen that morning to venture forth on the pilgrimage that 50% of all socks take part in. The one that takes them from their homes and partner socks and out into the great unknown that is beyond our planet. In despair, I looked at the clock. Time was up. I had to go and pick up Matt & Coaster sock-less and hope that one of them would need to visit Tesco as well before leaving. In a worlds first move, Coaster was actually ready when I pulled into his drive, 7 minutes late (that lateness due to the great sock hunt and a slow moving tractor called Norrice.) we loaded up and were away, with a brief interlude at Tesco where I rectified the sock situation I nearly purchased a water pistol, but was dissuaded by Matt who, I believe in a roundabout fashion told me that I wasn't old enough to be trusted with water projectile weaponry. The journey down to Thorpe was long, it seemed I was driving forever as we hit traffic jam after traffic jam, but in no time we were driving through the beautiful village of Stains, windows down, Ha-Ing along to a 10 minute version of The Smiler soundtrack. I'm not sure if I should be worried by this, but the 'masseeeeve' of stains seemed to take it in their stride, smiling and nodding rather than looking confused. They are obviously down with the music of today! So moving swiftly onwards Coaster, Matt and myself decided on having a beer and a bite in the ever speedy Bar360. Whilst waiting for the mania bunch to join us, and before we were served, there they appeared with the ever jolly Peaj, leading the way. We fed and drank, and drank and fed. One min, no we didn't, we drank and chatted and laughed and looked at our watches. Then drank a bit more, and laughed a bit more and rearranged the furniture and looked at our watches. Then we drank and nattered and sniggered and looked at our watches. Then suddenly, as if by magic, our food appeared. It was pointed out that 45 minutes is quite good for Bar 360, meals can occasionally be weeks late. So we did some rides and had a laugh, and then it was deemed that we should go and chill off a bit on the Rumba Rapids. As we entered, Sam (I think) asked one of the staff to 'turn on the hose'. I didn't know what he meant by that but as we left the station a non gushing hose was pointed out to me. Nothing happened so we started boo-ing. Then with the roaring sound of a nuclear missile, what felt like the whole contents of the lakes rained down on us. We were wetter, and smellier than the wettest smelliest thing ever. After this we ambled, chatted met and re-met some new friends then bade the mania chaps and chapesses a brief so long. (Well actually I think I picked on all of the mania group who were too young to come to the MOS night, canting that they couldn't come tonight but we could, that's the same thing really.) and we went to check into the Crash Pad. So the crash pads. What did I think? We expected them to be roasting. Metal boxes in the weather we were experiencing could only be roasting. They weren't though, we opened the door to a cool, fresh room. Next preconception. Space. Standing space was exceptionally scarce but with mat chilling on his bunk and me on my double bed (which was surprisingly spacious) and Coaster wandering aimless there was plenty of room. The TV didn't work but we didn't come for telly. So we showered (not advisable if your shy as the frosted glass door doesn't really conceal much) and then headed out to the hungry horse pub, which is on the next roundabout (about half a mile south - out of the exit of Thorpe and turn right) of the park. Food was good, the pub staff were jolly, the habanero chicken skewers were excellent and Sam turned up just as we finished. The world was fine. We drove back to the park after Sam picked on my car (evil man) and headed back to the crash pads, where I changed my T shirt for the 'stretchy says beer' one and then headed into the park. We had done X twice and Nemesis Inferno twice by the time we met up with the mania bunch who were staying for the evening at the drinks bar near swarm. Since everything was Walk on, Sam and I took the front row, far side. We then partook in some more beer and on to X. The coolest thing in the world was Ricky checking his beer in at the baggage hold for X and the lady working there not even looking twice. It was the norm. Brilliant! We then went to stealth, that was also walk on (stopping for more beer). Around the world they say England is a nation of drunks, well tonight at least this part of England was. Can I just take this moment and point out that everyone that I spoke to, agreed that beer and coasters mix extremely well and I think that parks should do this more often. Just please remember to open all loos. I passed at least 3 people using bushes because they couldn't find an open one. When I said passed I meant walked past. I have never 'passed' a person. That would be painful. Anyway, where was I. Ohh yes, we did a few more coasters and then congregated near the queue times board. Before going in. I have mentioned the new queue time boards in previous narratives, but I have to say. At night they are soooooooo bright. It became quite a fun pass time to get people to come and talk to you when they were in dark queue time mode and then watch them screech as the MOS logo appeared in all it's whiteness. With the last rides of the day completed, we headed towards the main dome. Word to the wise. Wear sensible foot ware if you are going to come to one of these events. High heals just wreck your feet. No I wasn't wearing my high heels. I was in sensible shoes. I was wise. (Yup not a common statement about me I know). So we walked/hobbled up to the dome and what surprised me was how quiet the noise levels were outside. With doors wide open and sound spewing forth it was about the volume of your average beer garden. Quite impressive since as soon as you went inside the levels sky rocketed. What was also quite impressive was the lighting rigs. The beam splitters (laser like effect creators) were brilliant, creating ribbons of light that waved through the air to the beat. The music was good too. We all split off in search of alcohol and re-met, ladened with bottles or pints on the dance area, where I proceeded to repeatedly douse Sarah in beer. My excuse is that no matter how much she shouted at me, she looked too sober and needed beer . So we drank and danced and bopped and sang along to the tunes we recognised and scowled at the tunes we didn't and all was fine in the world. suddenly they played Katie Perry's- fireworks and that was the point when I realised that all these tunes weren't 90's anthems and in fact the whole evening was a sham. "That's not 90's I proclaimed" and the fish-meister and piano-genius both agreed. This moment is being called Perrygate by those people in Thorpes entertainment department who have talked to me. Ad it was this point when we started hearing replays. Castles in the sky was played a second time and then a third it was only later I found that it was released in 2000! I have half the mind to report them to watch dog. There was a simple solution. They sell this wonderful medication called Beer, where the more you have, the less you really care about what era the DJ is playing and instead set adrift on memory bliss(91) into a universe where nothing else matters (92). You see, I chose not to choose life, I chose something else(96). I chose a land filled with little fluffy clouds(90), Hollywood burning(95) a land ranging from 9pm till I come(98) when all that's left is Deliriums silence(99). I'm not saying that the music was terrible, fresh prince went down a storm, in face every time he played a 90's anthem the place erupted. Nirvana went down a storm as well. What we wanted was more of a surge of these storms. The night went on, and the place slowly emptied and one by one the mania guys headed off. Suddenly it was 2:45 and I was standing at the back of the done with a water bottle on my hands, rehydrating myself in the cool breeze that rolled in from the open back doors. Coaster and Matt ambled over, both tired lads. So we went and stood outside for a while which is where this extremely drunken girl walks/falls over to us. I like you. She slurs at coaster, who looks uncomfortably at her. He's a farmer, Matt announces, obviously trying to get Coaster in trouble. I like farmers she said. Are you all farmers. We then spent the next 30 minutes being slurred at. At 3:15 security cleared us all out and Matt, Coaster and I headed back to the crash pads. The night slowly drifted by, I rarely sleep when not in my own bed, instead I tend to meditate, so I was quite deeply relaxed, having finally stopped my back from spasming when Matt decided to flush the crashpad, aeroplane powered toilet a 5:15. These toilets basically sound like time and space has been ripped apart and the universe needs to repair itself. The Big Bang has nothing on this sound. Needless to say I was back instantly in the real world. Coaster quite amusingly banged his head on the pad roof. 7:30 I quietly got up and headed over to grab some breakfast on my own. The guys were both snoring gently to each other so I thought it would be rude to wake them. Breakfast is served at Bar360 and the place was heaving when I arrived so much so that the maitre-d seemed shocked to see someone at that time of the day. It was 8:30 when other people started arriving for food. Talking of food, the breakfasts are continental style. There was toast, croissants, cereal, yoghurts, a rather nice fresh fruit salad (that I personally had 80% of the whole puch bowl) and assorted fruit juices and hot drinks. It doesn't sound like much, but it was perfect to sate my stomach. Suddenly Sam appeared at the window looking just a little delicate. He was working on Swarm today, what a way to wear off a hangover. So on his advice I went and got my camera and headed out to find this 9:15 ERT. I went out of the done and met closed gates everywhere. There was a guy brushing nearby so I said "where do I go for the swarm ERT?" He looked at me as if I where an alien. "ERT?" I said, "where?" He looked confused. "You can ask inside" he eventually announced. So I went inside, there was a lady just inside the dome, looking splendent in her Thorpe uniform. "Where do I go for the crashpad Swarm ERT?" I asked, trying to sound as queens Englishy as I could. "The crash pads are down there, swarm isn't open yet" she replied. "No, I said" the ERT?" I said. "I don't think we have one of those" she answered then rushed off. I looked around dejected and then I spied a congregation of staff. Surely one of the, would understand basic English. "Where do I go for the ERT - Early Ride Time for the Crashpad stayers?" I asked. It was then I realised that the general staff didn't know the ERT acronym as as soon as I said early ride time they all lit up, and directed me to a closed gate. Wait there, they told me and there I waited. Matt suddenly appeared, a bit like the shop keeper from Mr Benn, is young Matt, always appearing. And 5 minutes later, after a minor issue with staff radios we were let in. 3 rides on swarm, one at the back, one in the middle, one at the front was a perfect way to wash away any lingering cobwebs of hangover. I then went back to the crashpad whilst coaster (who had also joined us by now) and Matt grabbed some breakfast. A quick refreshing shower and a pack if my bags coincided perfectly with them finishing eating. At 10:00 we checked out of the crashpad s. This is where Thorpe did the stupidest thing possible. They asked me to fill in a customer feedback iPad thingy. At 10:30 I completed the collection of essay answers, ignoring the heckling from the staff there and Coaster & Matt. You will be happy to note that I, on this form, explained all about 90's music and Perrygate, We loaded up the car and headed back into the park. We had just enough time for a blast on Nemesis Inferno and lunch at the Calypso BBQ, before ending our time at Thorpe. We left the park as we entered, to the Ha's of The Smiler. By 6.30pm I was sat at home, exhaustedly cooking something to eat having dropped Matt & Coaster at Coasters farm. It was a truly exhausting weekend but one that I thoroughly enjoyed. I would like to thank each and every one of the Mania guys for making us feel so welcome and for all of the laughs and japes and bops and even hugs.

Listening to that Jeremy Healey mix. This is what I was expecting, opening with Leftfield... why ohh why didn't they play any Leftfield? Even Mars, pump Up The Volume - It really makes me realise how much excellent music they just ignored. Ho Hum, I think Leftism is the album Ill play in the pub jukebox tonight.

You missed the only other song that they played

Sounds uber cool, unfortunately I cant make it though. I wish it wasnt so expensive for me to get down.

Because, as most of you know, I have the belief that, if you dont say anything, it doesn't get fixed. I dropped a partial complaint over at both Thorpe and MOS sites. The following is what I said.

Hey guys Full stretchy trip report to come, in the mean time here's a group photo and a link to the other picks I took (even though I didn't take many) https://plus.google.com/photos/106418309379254557984/albums/5900517950484885409?authkey=CMfcrLT8q6CI-gE