Matt 236

Yesterday was my first Thorpe visit of the year and park trip post lockdown. The park’s covid measures were a mixed bag with temperature checks, staff and announcements enforcing social distancing in queues and places along with sanitiser being available on most rides. However there is definitely room for improvement as the spots on the floor haven’t got the best placements and have already faded in just a couple of weeks. I also think the park need to try and enforce people to walk one way on the sides of main pathways and place more protector in queuelines. Guest social distancing wasn’t great. On a side note operations were generally ok on most attractions with Stealth and the two B&Ms performing excellently. Saw was still torturous and Quantum a bit of a disappointment only doing two top hits on it’s cycle. The shops used a-basket system to determine numbers where you were given a basket when you entered and would return it to be cleaned when you left. The Saw, Swarm, Derren and Flock shops were closed along with some eateries. It was great to be back at the park after longer than usual,but there was certainly a strange and maybe slightly underwhelming atmosphere. This could be as a result of the extra safety measures and yet some places feeling like a normal park day or that the park felt empty in some ways. The park looks and feels tired and rundown in many areas and for some reason feels even more noticeable than previous visits. Whilst some cosmetic changes have been done, these don’t really feel enough and almost seem like a token gesture just for the sake of upkeep. In spite of these things it was great to be back at my first (post-lockdown) park trip and hopefully not my last!

Well that escalated quickly. First drop looks great, hopefully the rest of the ride will follow-suite.

I wouldn’t say Smiler is the worst name, far from it when you have attraction names such as Raj’s Bouncy Bottom Burp or Derren Brown’s Ghost Train. The name Croc Drop isn’t particularly inspiring either band comes across as one of the blandest names created. Sounds more like a confectionary product then a ride IMO. I think the names of Merlin’s attractions have always been hit and miss over years with some better than others. Blue Barnacle is probably one of the better ones in recent years for sure. Smiler on another level definitely needs some TLC as it looks the most delapidated of the seven main coasters.

Don’t think I’ve heard of this place but it looks surprisingly decent with some of their attractions and theming there. Soquet are certainly a bizarre manufacturer it seems. Shame on the sea view, but the BBQ place sounds pleasant enough.

Thorpe experienced an ambitious and significant amount of investment and expansion during the 2000’s which carried on until around 2012 (or less-so 2016). Realistically it was unviable to continue this level of expansion as Thorpe were going to run out of space if kept at the level they were, so a slow down was going to be inevitable, even if the one we’ve received is more of a stop! This is also the issue you have the park’s two previous major investments have been deemed unsuccessful from a corporation that expects return from investment. The park’s marketing and direction is another problem, over the years the park has constantly changed branding and marketing. One year they’ll appeal to families and then thrill seekers the next, before trying to appeal to all ages the year after before repeating this all again. Thorpe lacks a definitive brand point where parks such as Towers and Chessington are seemingly better at let alone others. Off years haven’t been used particularly effectively at the park as rather than refurbishing and cleaning up delapidated areas they’ve blown it on cheap and tacky unpopular experiences such as I’m a Celeb/Jungle Escape. So many areas of the park look rundown and the ratio of horror attractions only worsens this. There have been some efforts to refresh small areas of the park, but these have resulted in a one step forwards three back scenario. Where features/theming have been removed and not replaced leaving an even weaker impression, e.g The Dome. The park have a way to go in terms of restoring and getting back on the road again. But given the current positions both financially and operationally, that will probably never happen.

Dark rides are one of my favourite park attractions, some are great but others less-so. Here are my least favourite indoor/dark rides I have ridden to date. I am excluding travelling rides such as those at Winter Wonderland. 10/ The Ferrari Land Simulators- Ferrari Land, Port Aventura Both attractions aren’t anything remarkable and just come across as bland and unoriginal. Both attractions share the same pre-show which is boring and tedious to watch. Not to mention worsens their throughputs and is pretty much an advert for a product 90% of it’s visitors will never own. 9/ Castillo Del Terror- Tivoli World I’ve been on my fair share of ghost trains and this isn’t the worst but it could be better. The timing of half the scenes in here is off and the rest either turned off or never repaired. 8/ Ghost Train- Brighton Pier Mediocre, off timing and generally poorly maintained. No surprises there maybe. 7/ Fairy Tale Castle- Liseberg I had a love-hate relationship with this ride but it still wasn’t great. A tacky yet hilarious selection of dated fairy tale animatronics accompanied by the Droomvlucht soundtrack. It might be gone now (part of Valkyria stands there now) but never forgotten! N.B some of the cars and theming are reused as Halloween theming. Quite fitting perhaps. 6/ Golden Nugget Wild West Shootout-Drayton Manor bland, underwhelming and left me with no impression on my experience. The open plan setting made it feel about as exciting as a trip to Tesco’s and that’s saying a lot. The ride has been updated since my experience so might be less terrible now. 5/ Tales Of The Coast- Pleasurewood Hills Very bizarre ride with a somewhat monotone dialogue and a strange yet underwhelming scene selection. It was demolished a few years ago and replaced by a chair swing. Whether that’s an improvement remains to be seen. 4/ Charlie And The Chocolate Factory- Alton Towers An absolute travesty of a dark ride has got to be one of the most underwhelming I have ever experienced. Boring cardboard cut out scenes and narrative dialogue that’s amongst the worst ever seen. The elevator part was alright and probably helped being near the exit too. 3/ Boo Blasters- Kings Island Awful awful awful. Such a pointless attraction with a dreadful narrative and zero storyline. Apparently it used to be themed to Scooby Doo in the Paramount days, but whats there now is much much worse. This was my first and dark ride I have done in the states and given the current state of things, it might well be my last! Shame. 2/ Derren Brown’s Ghost Train Rise Of The Demon- Thorpe Park Resort Having a dark ride at my home park should be something delightful, unfortunately though I can’t say that here. DBGTROTD is far more of an embarrassment than an innovation to the industry. It uses hundreds of potentially interesting ideas in the worst possible way, is unreliable and less re-rideable than a bad SLC. It has aged terribly for what should still be a new attraction and is tied around the park’s neck for the foreseeable future with much investment in the dust as a result. 1/ Impossible- Blackpool Pleasure Beach I have only ever been on this once and that was six years ago. I have no intention to re-ride it soon. Most of Blackpool’s dark rides are good or at least charming but not this! It serves no purpose for the park and is hilariously awful in every shape and form.

Think we are overdue an update from the amazing Batavia project. Video covers elements including the new theming and animatronics which look amazing and remarkably authentic too. I’m looking forward to the final result when this opens.

Can be arranged.

Wickerman is arguably the best coaster Towers have built this Millenium. Sure, it’s not the biggest or longest coaster but what it does is great and delivers theming and storyline not many other coasters have really done in the U.K., especially during recent years.

I wish shared some of the above optimism. Next year Chessington will be getting a drop tower along with the new Blue Barnacle (assuming it’s delayed), which already for the park is already quite an investment. Aside from the odd thing here and there such as signage and a minor refresh around Forbidden Kingdom, I can’t see most of the above ever happen let alone next year.

I understand some may be disappointed by the constant negativity here, but unfortunately it cannot help the bigger picture. Over the years we have seen character, styling and features ripped out with some former attractions even rotting in guest view. Yes Thorpe hasn’t been in the best state (even before the virus), but appearance and presentation should be priority regardless of parks going down the themed routes or not! How can one stay positive when a building on a main path is stripped of character making it any eyesore? Or when the park’s entrance is stripped thread-bare of it’s last remnants of charm and character, making it look more underwhelming than a deprived shopping centre? Who knows, in the spite of things and these challenging circumstances we face in life, these could well be part of larger scale refurbishment. In 2021 we might see a further refreshed dome or that building worked on go look more presentable. However one has to lack on the overall track record on things to see just how unlikely any of this will happen. Especially when only key funding is likely to be injected into Thorpe (more-so).

All of it! I’ve seen industrial estates that look more picturesque than that eyesore and it’s crazy how something as little as a canopy can be the difference between something looking ok or dreadful. Cant see this improving anytime soon, judging how other areas such as the Dome now look as well in comparison.

**Immediately books up to visit that random German park** Just kidding, but it looks quirky to say the least. Gerstlauer still Gerstlauer then.

It’s no secret that B&M are very much the Rolls Royce/Lamborghini of ride manufacturers to this day. Whilst they are arguably less innovative than in the 90’s, they continue to build strong, reliable and often popular re-rideable coasters. Many companies such as Sea World and Cedar Fair frequency buy models from them, with their dive and hyper models still being remarkably popular. Duelling Dragons is the only B&M known to be fully scrapped to this day. The introduction of a launch coaster would be a great and logical move, especially when these types of coaster are especially popular with the likes of Taron, Helix etc.

Given the whole situation of this, we could, we could easily make a whole topic about “exposed” theme park sheds. But that’s for another day. I have seen worser looking sheds than this.

In an interesting but understandable decision, the Splash Mountain attractions at Disneyland and Disney World will be getting Princess And The Frog rethemes. Information can be found Here. Heres some concept art. This will definitely be a very mixed with fans across the globe, but given increasing tensions on certain matters, it was probably only a matter of time. I haven’t done either of the originals so can’t comment for one, but the new theme chosen is definitely a good choice for replacement.

I don’t remember the queue being a major problem when I visited, but that’s not to say it’s easy. With the right tape and placements, it should be manageable. If the Ultimate isn’t reopening with the park, my only reasons for seeing this are: Not being able to reach minimum operating capacity due to social distancing Insufficient funds to maintain and/or operate the attraction If the latter is why this is closed this is very concerning for the park and could mark the indefinite beginning of the end for Lightwater. However one could question the downward spiral has been hitting for years, with numerous ride removals!

To be honest given the current madness worldwide, that time frame may be the most beneficial to the park, as long as they survive what’s happening. I'm just glad they are able to open something new at all.

The thing with WDW is that when they opened, they essentially became their own council/government. Whilst there will still be enforced restrictions and limitations, reopening for them should be noticeably easier. Not to mention at around 25,000 acres, they have much more land to play around with. Disneyland on the other hand is a lot smaller and doesn’t have as much power as authorities go, so will likely be the last resort to reopen by a noticeable margin. Then again with cases on the rise within the states, the chances of delaying a full reopening is likely.

Lightwater Valley will be reopening on the 18th July, with all details found on their website. A number of attractions will remain closed which includes Apollo, play areas, Raptor and The Ultimate. Raptor is understandable given it is indoors with distancing being more difficult, however having the Ultimate closed as well will no doubt put a lot of people off visiting and is literally the only standout attraction at the park.

Can completely understand why Thorpe would charge more than the others. Got to get the money back from the ghost train somehow I guess!

Very surprised about Duel being unavailable. Surely they could just fill every other car with groups or something, plus distancing in the queue shouldn’t be too tricky. Hex is perhaps more understandable given the positions of guests and the number of riders it is required to operate on. Still a major blow considering Congo is the only major non coaster/Beeb attraction pretty much. Least the park is open though.

It’s an offer I’m tempting to make, but I might be broken eventually.

Decided to create a piano cover of the original Vampire theme.

It’s strange yet uniquely interesting now most of Efteling’s rides use a cattle-pen like style, although least they seem somewhat presentable. Apparently when Droomvlucht (Dreamflight) originally opened it featured a more elaborately themed queue hall, which was straight ahead where the grand entrance is. However the ride became so overwhelmingly popular the park needed a better solution to handle the crowds, which is why the cattlepen round the side was built. This probably explains why pretty every large addition (bar Dutchman) features a cattle-pen type queue.