Inferno

Ok there are plenty of jokes to be had with this one, but I’ve got a few observations of things that have quietly disappeared from theme parks over the last decade or so. Park branded Ponchos This is a weird one for me. Seemingly overnight about 10 years ago these all just vanished out of thin air. These used to be everywhere. On all the water rides there would always be people wearing them, and when it rained there were ponchos galore! Although I know it was a waste of plastic, I almost miss seeing these. I remember being in Florida years ago and spotting countless UK park ponchos around. The iconic “don’t wet yourself” Thorpe ones were everywhere. Cigarette smoke As someone who’s always lived in a non smoking house, growing up I always associated the smell of smoke with theme parks! It’s a sign of the times I suppose, but the smell of smoke has all but disappeared from theme parks (replaced by those toilet air fresheners that people suck on now). Wasps Another sign of the times I think. Many of the fizzy drinks are now sugar free by default. The queue lines across the UK were always dreadful for wasps during the summer time. Remember those horrible wasp catchers they used to hang in the trees that were always full to the brim with dead ones? On ride photos What happened to these? You used to see countless people wandering around with ORPs at the parks! They seem to have faded away!

I’ve just had a lovely day at Legoland today, somewhere I haven’t really had cause to visit for many years until now. Being there today opened my eyes a little bit to the situation Merlin seem to have put themselves in. Based on my experience today, I can confidently say this: Customers simply aren’t buying food at Merlin’s parks anymore like they used to. This is evidenced by a few things; The ONLY restaurant open today was Pizza Pasta. Burger Kitchen, the fish and chip place, the Chicken place and the nearby cafe next to Dino Coaster were all closed throughout the day. The single open restaurant only had about 1/4 tables occupied when I poked my head in at 12:30. There were a lot of families sat around the abandoned show arena in Heartlake eating food they’d brought in themselves. It was literally standing room only at lunch time. The prices for Pizza Pasta are an eye watering £22.75 a head (give or take a few pence, I can’t remember exactly). In years gone by, Merlin’s restaurants have had queues out the door, and getting a table has been a struggle at lunch time. Now it seems to be hard to justify having a single restaurant open, given how empty it was at peak time. All be it on an off peak day, but the point stands. When you also think back, a few years ago most people would leave the park at the end of the day with something - be that some merch, an on ride photo, or maybe even just a poncho! But now days, I think realistically most things sold at the park are just too expensive, and ORPs seem to have died a death. Merlin really do appear to have deliberately cut off a big income stream by overpricing their food and merchandise. It was quite staggering to see it on display so obviously today to be honest. Merch sales is something that’s harder to compare with the past I suppose, but with the prices being how they are now at Legoland, I can’t imagine they sell as much as they have in the past. It’s just simply too expensive (more expensive than the equivalent at DLP by quite some margin).

Thank you everyone for your help and advice! We all had a blast - great little park with the good and unique rides! Some key takeaways that took me by surprise however… The merch is HYSTERICALLY expensive. Frankly it’s no wonder Merlin are in a financial state. It’s clear that nobody ever buys anything any more from seeing the evidence - dust on a lot of the ridiculously priced novelty mugs- which priced far higher than better quality ones at DLP. Most of the restaurants and coffee shops today were closed, including the fish and chip place, burger kitchen, and the chicken shop. I poked my head in to Pizza Pasta to see the prices, and most tables were vacant at lunch time, which I’m not surprised about given it’s £22.something pp…. Clearly Merlin’s pricing strategy is not working if they can’t even half fill the only open restaurant at lunchtime… There is evidence that Merlin are struggling - the area where the show was is very out of place now, and there are bits around the park that show signs that the company isn’t doing well - the rapids sat abandoned, a lot of decor falling in to disrepair, etc. the car parks are also not staffed at all, causing chaos with cars going in all directions due to conflicting signage etc. single staffed cafe in heartlake as well was not good for anyone involved. Also many rides stayed closed throughout the day. HOWEVER - it’s a great little park. Plenty of people having a great time! The railway is a fantastic attraction! Lots of interaction on the way round, and brilliant team working there! the new duelling coasters are excellent and seem to be going down extremely well. (ignoring the dreadful landscaping and plastic sheeting on the fences?!?!) another high capacity ride somewhere in the park would be very welcome I think. I really like some of the finer details around - like the slides on the hill down to the main park, and the little rivers down the paths. Really adds to the experience for the little ones. When they build something on Viking River Splash, it’s a huge plot in a great location. Hopefully something good coming here soon! Overall, impressed. Certainly an expensive day out now, and I think Merlin need to be careful not to let the experience slip any further as it’s borderline at the moment….. but still on the right side of quality vs price at the moment I think.

The posters could be anything couldn’t they. Wasn’t the exodus one a hint to angry birds leaving or something? 🤷‍♂️ Jack’s video brought these posters up while talking specifically about fright nights however so I suppose it’s more likely to be related to Trailers rather than elsewhere in the park

I know what you mean, it hardly seems worth it. I have to say though I’d rather it this way until it’s replaced with something rather than it sat there SBNO for ages.

😬 I suppose it’s better than a blank screen... I can only assume they’ve cheaped out on this because the whole lot is coming down in the next couple of years for the fab new entrance plaza 👍

It’s always had a bit of a delay between stopping and the restraints opening, for as long as I can remember, but over a minute seems excessive! Interesting to hear it could be to do with building pressure? I thought that would be entirely separate to the restraints. I always assumed it could be down to the ride still slightly moving and not yet satisfying the sensors that it had stopped.

It’s such a shame isn’t it. Thorpe does have a lot of cool features around, but they’re mostly abandoned. Hyperia’s one minute wonder water effect being one of the worst offenders ever. The screens feel to me like another casualty of the cutbacks. I suppose they’re running on the bare minimum staff now, meaning maintenance will be prioritised to essential stuff first. 🤷‍♂️

Ooh interesting one! I think yes, a park can definitely be too quiet. Thorpe is by far my most visited park, and back when I had an annual pass I’d frequently visit on quieter days. The trouble is, it was occasionally possible to have everything, and I mean literally everything, done by lunchtime with ease. Fantastic for re-rides etc, but it didn’t feel like a “full day out” if you know what I mean, and it certainly lacked the atmosphere and that buzz you get from a bustling theme park. I remember going to a very quiet fright nights one year, having arrived at opening time. We had ridden and re-ridden everything all day, and then when the mazes opened we went through all of them several times, to the point that we weren’t fussed about doing Asylum anymore that night even though it was literally “walk on” with hours to go - unheard of these days for a maze. Don't get me wrong - I look back on those visits with fond memories, and LOVED the amount of rides we could get on, but overall I think it’s a better overall experience when the queue times are around 10 minutes for things. Queueing a little definitely helps space the day out nicely, especially in smaller parks like Thorpe. It also builds up that anticipation a bit, and forces you to take in the atmosphere and theming around you. Staying with the fright nights as an example - my favourite ever FN was the year Cabin in the Woods opened. The atmosphere around the park really added to the experience, particularly around Cabin where we spoke to several strangers around the park about the different routes etc that could be taken. There was a real buzz about it that could only be felt because so many people were sharing the enjoyment. So yeah, as much as I adore a re-riding marathon, I really do enjoy experiencing a park that is alive and visibly thriving. The perfect balance for me would probably be no queue exceeding 20 - 30 mins all day, but the last hour or so having walk ons. 👌🏼 best of both worlds!

Thank you very much everyone! Interesting to hear about school trip season… I (perhaps wrongly) assumed that Legoland wouldn’t be as badly affected by it given the younger audience. Fingers crossed. I have to say it’s quite nice going to a UK park and not really knowing what to expect - it’s been so long!

There has clearly been a sudden halt to that strategy over the winter - however, every company I’ve worked at that has gone through mass layoffs suffers the same “back to basics / keep the wheels turning” sort of situation for a year or so at least while things settle down. It’s often the only way to operate with reduced numbers until wider changes are made. Hopefully as mentioned above, the same management will continue at Thorpe, and the good work will continue, because it feels like for the most part it’s been going in the right direction over the last few years. I think most people would now agree that Thorpe is by far the best run Merlin park. That isn’t something that many would have said a few years ago. It also has the best opening hours and a very good, pretty reliable lineup. The reputation has been massively improved, quite quickly actually. (Made even more stark since it’s all happened at the same time as Alton Towers’ spectacular fall from grace over the past few years) It’s disappointing that the brakes have been put on the progress. Hopefully it’s temporary.

Wow fantastic! How odd to see it so quiet though? I suppose the weather could play a big part there

The first section of this one is honestly such a vibe. Love it. It’s shame this style isn’t played more prominently at the park, because it really does suit it. The music could do with being louder at the entrance and across the bridge / in to the dome. It’s interesting that the previous “jingle” still plays in some places around the park. The Swarm station soundtrack for example still features the IMAscore “sound of the island” tune.

I agree that would be a real shame. Hopefully they can keep it that way. I’ve been having a think about all this…. It’s weird that so many of us seem to share the same “meh” feeling towards Thorpe & Merlin at the moment, especially with Thorpe, because actually when you break it down they’re really doing very well. As has been mentioned, there are no SBNO rides, which is unheard of in recent years. They have a fantastic line up, including a brand new massive coaster. There are no silly cheaply-made mazes anymore, and they’re even continuing to run their notoriously expensive and less popular rides, like ghost train and Rapids. In fact, the park is in very good shape: the decor looks better than ever, reliability isn’t too bad, the food is quite good considering how it is elsewhere, the new brand is working nicely, and the park feels fresh, modern and clean for the most part, especially when you consider how poor the rest of the Merlin parks are. Thorpe seems to be very well run to be fair. It’s also not like there has been new ride after new ride over the last decade, and now that’s stopped. There hasn’t! Arguably, when it comes to new stuff, now is an excellent time in that regard, right off the back of Hyperia opening. An odd one for sure. Perhaps it’s more a general ill feeling everyone has towards Merlin? Or a side effect of the Universal news overshadowing the “business as usual” at Thorpe? Or maybe it’s an extension of the general doom and gloom shrouding seemingly everything in the country at the moment. Perhaps if we are honest with ourselves, we all take the likes of Thorpe for granted these days? I think I do to be fair, because it be beyond devastated if it suddenly had to close for some reason. I even think of Stealth for instance. If that reached a point this summer where they were forced to make a decision to close it at the end of the season, I know for a fact I’d be up there riding it, and thinking to myself “you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone” 😂

I think that’s a good point about fright nights in particular. It used to be something I’d very much look forward to all year, but in recent years it has become, as you say, a rip off, and nothing more. Without that around the corner, for me at least, it does feel odd that the Merlin parks are sort of not really on my mind anywhere like they used to be. Merlin do seem to very much be in a rut don’t they… it’s all very worrying to be honest, especially given that Paultons and others are accelerating while Merlin continue to decline. It will be interesting to see what they manage at scare season in the short term at least, and looking longer term, what they will announce over the next 12-24 months…

This is really weird that you should mention that. I know exactly what you mean, and I’ve felt the same, even after a very good visit to Thorpe a few weeks ago. I thought it was just me getting older and having other priorities going on in my time of life, but I do feel the same way. The Merlin parks just sort of… “opened” again… and that was it. I’m not sure what exactly they were supposed to do, in my head, but yeah. I don’t know. I don’t think it’s necessary to have something new every year, but there does seem to be a lack of big stuff happening across Merlin in the UK, apart from the various bits for younger audiences. There isn’t even anything up and coming that we can look forward to at the moment either. Actually saying that - we had Toxicator didn’t we. Which is fab. I still have that feeling though and I can’t explain it! Advertising has definitely been toned down. In years gone by, you couldn’t move for Merlin ads. Supermarkets for example had Merlin imagery and offers in every aisle, and there were ads on TV, the tube and billboards. It does feel like there’s been a change. Merlin have always been good at keeping at least some sort of interest going year on year across their various parks, even if just through events etc in the short term. I wonder if part of it is that we’ve become a bit accustomed to big things happening? Hyperia and Universal for example eclipse basically everything don’t they. Although saying that, I still find myself very excited for the things happening at DLP, and they’re not that epic…

I’m off to Legoland very soon with my little one, mid week thankfully. First time I’ve been since I was a kid - back before we had phones etc! So it’ll be interesting to see it all! Any advice and tips at all?

I agree, I think I prefer the previous ones as well. It felt like they were only there for a short time, and even then some of them didn’t last long before being replaced with the stuff from before that in places. However I saw some social media replies a while ago from the park hinting that they could release them soon. I expect the people dealing with that have probably since been made redundant though.

It’s been 10 years today since the horrific Smiler collision. BBC News are running coverage about the accident, but for some reason are glossing over the fact that the 2 injured riders raising this are doing so to raise money for the air ambulance charity who helped save many lives that day. I still can’t get over that it actually happened to be honest. I remember seeing the footage on the news and feeling devastated that it happened at Alton Towers of all places - somewhere many people cherish as somewhere filled with joy and happy childhood memories. I also remember visiting in the week after the park re-opened, and how empty and weird it felt being there after what happened. A very sad time for everyone involved, and for all the staff. I can’t help but wonder what Alton Towers would be like today if this incident hadn’t happened. To this day, their reputation is damaged, and they certainly took a huge hit in the months and even years after the incident. Perhaps the park would have been prosperous if this hadn’t happened, or perhaps an incident was waiting to happen anyway given the shortcuts that were being taken.

Any sign of the splashdown yet? I’ve read today that apparently the trains have had a new small support added underneath each row of seats. I wonder what the reasons were for that?

I agree, it's a shame it's only half of the beach. I can't see this being done before Fright Nights now - the plans for that will already be under way, and that would only leave them 4 months to get it finished, which is possible of course but difficult given that it's in the middle of a busy operational theme park.

Apologies, this is massively pessimistic, but I very much suspect that the people who would arrange the sort of things you've listed there have probably all been made redundant... Even things like the start of season videos etc, and all the new 'super-transparency' stuff that the new brand was all about, has all been abandoned. Unfortunately it's always that sort of stuff that goes first when it comes to cost-cutting isn't it, in any business. It seems to be back to basics, which is a shame because there was a lot of good happening there.

Paultons Park are pooing all over the competition in the UK aren’t they. Amazing. The change in this place since I went as a child is astounding - it’s unrecognisable. Magma going is a weird one - feels like it’s only been there for about 20 minutes

True, although the walkway towards the lake will have the UP ride on the left and the teacups to the right, along with several kiosks, and the walkways to both Toy Story and Avengers. I think that area will definitely feel full and complete. Around the lake itself will be sparse though I agree, with only Arendelle, the restaurant, the water show and Cars Roadtrip as the main things around the lake as far as I can think anyway. The model looks to be nicely landscaped though with plenty of viewing areas for the lake shows, and Lion King won’t be far behind. It’s encouraging that there is plenty of room for further development though, and Lion King will soon fill a lot of the left side. The right side will be bare for a while though. I think to be honest, given what the park was when it opened, all this is a MASSIVE leap forwards. And to be fair to them this isn’t the finished product, but the lake area does look to be a commitment to continue developing. The contrast between the old and the new stuff in this park is very stark. Hopefully some upgrades will happen on some of the older stuff too in the coming years to level them up a bit.

A massive upgrade there! To be honest all the changes they’re making in the studios park look incredible. Adventure World is going to be a very good park when ‘Adventure Way’ and the lake area open up. Lion King will add so much more as well. They have also quietly planted a literal forest around the park. It looks like it’s going to become a proper Disney experience next year. All very exciting - DLP will have 2 fantastic parks, with hopefully more changes coming to the main park soon (space mountain surely!) Can’t wait for my visit later in the year - I kind of wish I could push it back by 6-12 months though!