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Chatting with someone today who had experienced Wicker Man, was saying that he thoroughly enjoyed and considered it was quite intense for the whole ride. With the other comments, I am looking forward to riding this.

Visited the Castle for a couple of hours today, and was pleasantly surprised with how decent it was! The Horrible History attraction is actually really well done. We all had fun despite not being the target audience, and the (huge amounts!) of school kids present seemed to be loving it. The Castle Dungeons were seemingly running on limited time slots (felt like one group every half an hour?!), but seemed to work for the place. It's my second time doing it and it was fabulously done, there was a mirror maze section in there that I definitely don't remember though. Actors were doing a top notch job. Really hate the 'lock you in a room and try and push selling photos' sales tactic they do though. Couple of negatives, food related: -Pizza Pasta restaurant was closed -The service in The Coach House was terribly slow, despite being dead Food in Coach House, though on the expensive side, was very good though! The trebuchet show was good once again, but they no long fire a flaming fireball. Not 100% sure whether this is down to a jousting arena now existing right next to it, or following from the accident a couple of years back, but a shame as fire is good, fire is great. So yeah, it's not a 'must visit' place by any many means, but I do really recommend trying it if you're ever anywhere near the area. It's presented wonderfully and a fun way to spend a day!

Thorpe Park Fight Nights; dare you try to navigate the park after dark? We have live fights in the queuelines, smoke effects (people smoking in queues) and for that extra scary experience brave the queue jumpers - most commonly heard saying "jump over dat fence m8 I ain't standing in no queue"

Don't forget Thorpe! Thorpe will become 'chavLand' Introducing: "Donald Trump's Ghost Train" will be introduced, a slight retheme of DBGT "Take Me Out- The Ride", a Swarm Retheme "That was sick m8", a retheme of Stealth "X Factor-The Ride", a retheme of Saw With way more to come!

New for 2017 at Chessington: The Gruffalo River Adventure In the queue, apart from the signage and Bubbleworks theming nothing has changed. Audio will be the mouse talking about the Gruffalo or something like that. The station is a forest sort of thing, the boats are painted to look like logs or something idk. They also have the Chessie logo on them and pass under the rides logo like Bubbleworks did, while a generic safety announcement plays from the mouse. The main ride will be alot like CaTCF and In The Night Garden got drunk one night and had a baby. You pass through scenes of the Gruffalo while big storybooks tell you what's happening. EVERYTHING. WILL. BE. PAINTED. WITH. UV PAINT. New for 2018: Room on the Broom The Vampire retheme. The station doesn't really change, apart from everything even remotely scary is removed. The trains are now yellow and the ride is painful as ever. The wonderful Dracula announcements are gone, instead we get the witch giving safety announcements. New for 2019: The Stick Man, Gruffalo's Child, and The Snail and the Whale. Dragon's Fury, Sea Storm and Dragon Falls are all rethemed to their respective Julia Donaldson books. New for 2020: Chessington becomes Julia Donaldson World The park is rebranded, and every ride is rethemed to a Julia Donaldson book. Then in 2022 the Julia Donaldson license runs out and Merlin sit around scratching their heads wondering what to do next.

That's called Derren Brown's Ghost Train.

Sick Bruv: the ride enter an interactive oversized cattlepen queue line and experience countless chavs smoking, spitting, fighting, throwing their food everywhere, punching and sitting on queue line fences. the best part is before you experience the main ride, it will break down.

New for Fright Nights this year: The Cabin In The Back Of X- Face unused parts of Q-Line, as you navigate piss-poor theming and good actors. The Bear Witch Project- You know all those bears from CCR? Well they've been let loose. Will you get eaten alive? No Because Health And Safety.. The Big Flop- Do you like blank felt walls? Do you like no theming? Well, this the maze for you. Saw Alive- Do you hate how Merlin add "Alive" to every attraction. Well this is just as bad. Platform 100000- Adding random numbers to mazes make them scarier.. According to Merlin anyways.. Containment- Do you like paying extra? Do you like paying extra for something which is not worth it? FASTRACK BOOTHS- Wanna enjoy your visit without fainting in the three hour ques? Well come and buy your expensive fastrack here, we offer some of the best customer service. And it will only take a hour to get your fastrack!

Derren Browns Ghost Hotel The worlds first hotel fully dedicated to virtual reality. The scariest part is I can see this happening someday

Not forgetting, you drop bro-detonator swing innit-Rush Wet Fam-Tidal Wave Sick Rapids-Rumba Rapids the pyramid one bruv-X Spin Fam-Vortex Moist-Storm Surge

New for Theme Parks in the UK 2017: Alton Towers- SW8, the worlds first coaster themed to Eastenders! With VR and low throughput in true Alton Towers style! Thorpe Park- "steel roller coaster1", Awful name, no theming, inspired by Cedar Point. Blackpool Pleasure Beach- "Sprite Speed Coaster", the parks new Mack-Mega, it has the Fizzy Drinks advertisement in the true BPB spirit! The coaster will be themed to sprite, and have trains based on sprite cans. Chessington- Nothing, maybe a hotel or something the park does not need. While the rest of the park rots.. Legoland- Ghost-The Haunted House I had way too much fun making this post..

Da Swarm, Stealf, Nemesis, Saw, and that one wiv da 10 loops, what is it - like - da corkscrew one Oh and don't forget BubbleZU

Right, think I'm onto something here. Chessie will be rebranded to CheZU! Take a wild spin on Dragons ZUry or a flight on the ZUpire! Watch out though as RattleZUkes bite, as do many creatures in AmaZU (mainly that crazy 5 year old kid!). Unwind with some magic in ZUcus Pocus hall or a bump on ZUk ZUk turmoil! Only here at CheZU where our ride to hotel ratio is a world first high of 3 to 1! Now, I feel sorry for people who can't pronounce th and instead it sounds like an f. So, FORPE PARK it is. Sorted. Going away from Merlin, Europa Park is too family friendly and needs rebranding. Oi-Opa Park!

THORPE The Nemestealthossuswarmsaw: Insubterraferno Destruction, Disaster and Devastation - The Ride The Chav (The World's First KFC coaster/Coaster to have more brake runs than drops) CHESSIE Dragon's Gentle Ride ZooZu Nemesis Aqua ALTON Shrek The Ride The Toy Story Coaster - You said you wanted Woodie!? (Worlds First Coaster to come alive when nobody else is around - SW8) SBNO - The Ride LEGO LegoOnTheFloor (Worlds most painful coaster) You Got Rid of The Dragon For THIS!? Nemesis Earth

The Next Big Investments will be: Alton Towers- 2018 SW8, A wooden coaster with scare actors, an abandond haunted theme and with a physchological new element never found before. OPening in May. It will also use VR Thorpe Park- A Take Me Out themed wooden coaster, inkeeping with Thorpe's likings for IP's, which themes around finding the one. If you don't enjoy it, all the lights will go out. Heide Park, new gerstaluer ride with smiler trains called, Warrior. It will essentially be varied layout of the Smiler and will have at least two jolts in it too. Gardaland, another gerstaluer which will be like Saw the ride but with launches. It will be based on Shrek due to Merlin's love of IP's and feature lapbars. It will be the only merlin gerst ever built to not feature a jolt due to Gardaland seeming being the best park. Chessington- Air The Blade will be opening in 2027 where Wild Asia is because the park could not find any more space.The ride like most of Chessington's rides will use excessive led lighting, have a cattle pen queueline and feature a pre-show. It is expected by this stage that Vampire still exists but has seen new supports installed to reinforce the old supports which were reinforced by supports supporting the supports a while ago. Toadies, dragon falls, sea storm and buccanner don't exist. Tomb does but is literally just an empty warehouse with nothing in. Tomb Blaster was re-done in 2022, but due to Merlin's extreme kneejerk to safety, all the theming had to be removed and the budget for new smaller theming was cut, due to the failure of Thorpe's Candy Crush land area. Ride fences are now so extreme, they are literally taller than the rides now and need fences around the fences to fence the fences in the fences.