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Humans are selfish creatures. Whilst the world continues to shrink it is only when something that affects your little sphere of existence that you become moved. I saw the boat capsize this lunch time and it slipped off me, sliding past my field of concern like butter in a pan. Then, shortly after 2pm I received a text. A text that, at the time, I belittled and passed off as someone having a prank. But I sat in my office for the rest of the afternoon, unable to work, unable to tear my eyes from the forums and news feeds. Gradually feeling sicker and sicker.Every moment came with it a dawning realisation. Initially I had foolishly wished that I was on the car and could witness an evac from a valleyed position, then I heard that there was a collision of 2 trains and I started to regret my wish. I could very well have been on park today, if not for a last minute change to Thursday. That could have been me sitting on Smiler. Suddenly it all hit home and I felt beyond sick. I sat pale and unable to not watch more. I walked home as an air ambulance flew overhead, landing at North Staffs, and I thought, I hope your going to be ok to the person sat on board, I walked past a lady who was crying. it was probably unrelated but that along with every sad face I saw on my walk home filled me with sorrow beyond words. So that's why I am writing this couple of paragraphs, to say that my heart goes out to everyone involved: To the people on the ride, who were unlucky enough to be on the car when this happened. To the other guests at the park who are now on their way homes feeling lucky to be alive. To the friends and families of anyone who was on park today. (I had 4 worried texts making sure I wasn't at alton) To the staff who worked on Smiler today who will, no doubt, need as many friends as they have tonight. To the staff working throughout the park, from ride hosts to management who will, I am sure, all shed a tear sometime tonight. To the staff who work at any theme park who will be silently glad that it wasn't their park and feel guilty for that thought. And even to every one of the 'fan-boys' and 'fan-girls' who sat like I did, from shortly after 2pm in shock.

I found the inspiration for The Smiler building, the back of my local McDonalds.

Got 2 rides on Ghost Train yesterday, each time I'm going on it I'm enjoying it more, however that 2nd VR section is still bollocks. Operations towards the end of the day were incredibly poor, our group was held up in the area between the pre show and the ride for about 10 minutes, and by the time we got in the train so many people were put in in one go that the operators struggled to find everyone a seat, it was a bit of a mess. One old guy attempted to sit on the floor as a form of protest but the operators were having none of it as there was definitely a free seat somewhere.

Sir, this is not the ride for you.

Hi, Long time lurker, 1st time poster. Excuse the long post, there is an on-topic observation at the bottom TP has been a big part of my life, from visiting the park in the late 80's to throughout the 90's. I then worked there for 15 years (2000 - 2014), in a variety of departments. Retail - some of the best times of my life (I've made life long friends from working in this department) Park Development and Planning - one of the most rewarding jobs I have had to date (see below) Facilities Management/Engineering - this is where my journey ended Park Development and Planning - I was the project lead for the land expansion project, and was involved in some of the early design/planning activities on SAW The Ride, SAW Alive, Kobra (CWoA), The Swarm, and an early Ghost Train concept. Whilst working in this department I learnt some fascinating history about the park. For example, did you know when the park was being constructed in the 1970's, RMC flew in an Imagineer from the States to help design the entrance and car park? Anyways, back on topic... I visited the RTP's for the 1st time (since leaving TP) last year and noticed that the overall quality has dropped across all 3 parks (CWoA probably was my favourite park out of the visits last year TBH). I noticed that at AT, unless you like roller coasters or kids rides, there actually isn't that much there. Duel should have been removed and replaced, or even reverted back to its former scary self years ago, and Hex is a shadow of its former self. I have never liked the Rapids since they removed the old boats. TP - DBGT - Ok this was not what I had originally envisioned for this plot of land. I found it to be an interesting concept, however it was not delivered well. The queue lines design (or lack of) makes it one of the worst (if not the worst) queues I have ever been in. I strangely found IACGMOH to be quite an enjoyable experience. I think TP are now in a weird position where they have got to develop two large areas of the park - the island next to Swarm (Island A) or Loggers. Which one do you do first? Island A needs that development to remove the dead end at Swarm (Parks should never have dead ends, they need to be free flowing), or do you develop Loggers which is a dead corner of the park? Is the investment there? CWoA seems to have flown under the radar a bit, and appears to have missed a lot of the Merlin clusterf**ks that have happened over the years. However, the drop tower replacing Rameses is again lacklustre and screams of "cant be bothered to develop this park properly"... Which leads me onto why I think these parks are suffering: The Smiler accident - I should imagine the insurance premiums across the UK parks are now extremely high, effecting large scale investments As far as I am aware, Merlin did not operate any theme parks until acquiring Legoland and the Tussuad's Group. I've noticed that all of the Merlin investments to date have either been lacklustre or poorly delivered (Ok Wickerman was good, however not too sure a pre-show was required - even though the show is good). I think there is a lack of interest within the company (I found this out when I was working at TP, and was shocked to find so many senior people not interested in the industry - a lot of them had never been to a Disney park... Its just a job to them) If you look at what parks around the world are announcing as new attractions, Merlin's UK offering is waaayyy behind everyone else. One of the most heated discussions I had whilst working at TP was surrounding the lack of a decent family zone/area. My argument was that parks such as Six Flags and Cedar Point (parks TP tries to emulate) all have decent (ish) kid friendly/family friendly areas. The answer from management was a return on the investment would not be possible as "how would they sell it"? Hopefully when (if) Paramount Park gets built, it will give Merlin a kick up the backside in getting there act together. Just my two cents... M

I have... But of course, you'd never get anything wrong. ?

It certainly is. Here's the version they are currently using...

Sexy Inferno today, credit to TPM's twitter:

It's fine everyone, Thorpe will have their Derren Brown's Ghost Bus Replacement Service in operation if there's any delays.

This is actually just

So I've been on the forums for a year today. In the (kind of) twelve months I've been here I have seen the forum grow and there really are some lovely people on here and going to a meet was one of the best decisions I've made and I do not regret joining TPM at all. However, I have also seen the forums themselves become slightly... Hostile. Don't get me wrong the place isn't all doom and gloom, but it seems that recently some members have been pretty much down one another's throats and it's kind of sad and disheartening to see. People have been blasting others' opinions and views, and many have just been constantly complaining over almost anything, from an unjustistifiable number of rides being closed, to the size of some plates?! I am not trying to act like some moral crusader or like I'm a perfect and rational being who can do no wrong, nor am I really 'complaining' about this nor does it 'anger' me, I find this quite sad and I just thought this was the most apt thread. TPM is great socially, but online, the sense of community that I encountered a year ago today seems to have diminished in such a considerably short period of time, which really is a shame. (Sorry for major lameness)

Where is my Takeshi's Castle Honeycomb Horror Maze?

Thanks all! We're always trying to improve our offering for our guests, so it's brilliant to hear that you like the things we're doing! See you at Summer Nights!

And they called it..puppy loooooooove

Yep...

In 2012, I was assigned to write a feature for Colossus's tenth birthday. The article itself was my best work if I don't say so myself. It was my intention that I would be able to do a similar piece when it came to 2003's blisteringly hot but underwhelmingly* tepid Nemesis Inferno in 2013. But this did not happen. No matter what I wrote, constructed or thought about, inspiration abandoned me and I just couldn't put together a piece that would do Inferno justice. And the problem comes down to one sticking point; There is just nothing special about Nemesis Inferno. Nemesis Inferno, distinctly middle of the road. But worry not fellow Thorpe fanboys and coaster nerds for the story doesn't end there. It is for that reason that for me, Nemesis Inferno is one of Thorpe's very best roller coasters and one that I get the most pleasure out of riding during a visit. Let me tell you a tale about a ride that was hyped to the max, but could never reach those lofty heights. Back in 2002, Colossus had done unexpected things for Thorpe, it's visitor numbers rising and rising and the construction of a brand new Inverter would have been a spectacular thing indeed for English enthusiasts. Remember, we are talking about a time when Nemesis most definitely ruled the roost in the UK and unless you were up for travelling to America, Italy or Spain, chances are it was your only shot. The hype surrounding Inferno was definitely something different, particularly when it was associated with the Nemesis name. I can remember at the time, discussion on Inferno's finale helixes being discussed as potentially as intense as Nemesis's helix after its first inversion. Talk about building the hype. Of course, come April 2003, Inferno opens and it isn't quite as good as it's predecessor. My favourite description at the time was a ride on Inferno's front row was not as intense as a ride on the Happy Halibuts of Octopus Garden. Talk about damning a product. At the time, with only Colossus complimenting Inferno, it came under harsher criticism then it probably deserved. With only two major roller coasters** to keep customers happy, Inferno came under the limelight in a way that many rides do not. After all, inverters had really boomed in the 90's with the Batman clones being installed all across America and rides that dominated their respected parks like Katun, Montu and Alpengeist. By 2003, with new types of rides starting to dominate such as sky hogging mega coasters and Intamin's brand new launch technology breaking record after record it's easy to see why Inferno was not enough and why Inferno could actually be seen as a bit, old hat. This is all hindsight of course. With the addition of Stealth, Saw: The Ride and The Swarm, things have increasingly changed at Thorpe and of course, so has Nemesis Inferno. As higher, faster and more attention grabbing rides have been added, Inferno has become more of a support roller coaster. When everything else goes to hell in a hand basket, Inferno is the old reliable. Always the ride with minimal queues, always the ride that eats through queues like it's going out of fashion and always the ride that delivers a smooth, intense experience. Never really pushing its customers too far but always delivering its promise of an enjoyable and satisfying ride. I know there are those that will disagree. A B&M inverter should be the absolute pinnacle of intensity, nothing should be considered more when riding this ride type. If that is the promise then Inferno doesn't deliver. Luckily, just up the M1 and left a bit is another roller coaster that does fulfil the necessary criteria. At Thorpe however is a ride built on the tail end of a coaster boom, one that is loved by a small but vocal minority. And for me personally, it holds some very special memories. It was my very first B&M and by default my first B&M inverter, it was the first ride that I really followed construction of and I know full well that it is my most ridden ride thanks to many Single rider sessions in 2004. More then most then, I can say that Inferno is an average ride at best. But even average is better then the majority of roller coasters out there. And that's good enough for me. Thanks for reading, Mark9 *I made up a word just for this review. Now that is dedication for you **I know people will say X:/ No Way Out was a major roller coaster. it just isn't OKAY!

Right, as promised, a full account of my evening yesterday, as well as my ride review. There's a couple of photos here too but, as said, my camera doesn't like the dark (even it it's 'night vision' mode), so the photos I took were pretty darn poor. All I can do is apologise for this. So, we were told the event would last from 6:30-10:00, so we arrived just before then. We really did not know what to expect from the evening; all we knew is we'd be going on Swarm, as well as the potential to go on some other rides. After arriving and saying hello to our PR correspondent, we realised we were allowed in. It turns out we were meant to have been given an itinerary at this point, but we weren't, but ah well, doesn't matter. So, after passing through the entrance, we were greeted by a barrier, operated by an army guard (dressed up in full camouflage costume, with a huge gun, as well as several other pieces of army equipment). We approached it, and the barrier opened for us, and we were told to hurry along. Then, another guard comes running towards us, shouting at us to run as quickly as possibly, hurry up and so forth. There was a sense of urgency; something was going wrong it would seem. As we approached the dome, the guard turned around and started shouting at others, and about 4-5 other guards started pointed their guns above our heads; we were under attack it would seem. However, this ordeal of entering Thorpe Park had only just begun... Another guard waiting by the entrance to the dome screams at us to come with him; every single guard was playing the part perfectly. We got in the dome, thinking we were in safety, only to find spotlights circling around acting as the only light inside. Yet more guards await, screaming, shouting and encouraging us to run through the dome. But, as with all things, it wasn't that simple - several tables were scattered around the dome, with white sheets covering bodies on top of them. I thought that these were mannequins, but in actual fact, most were actors that were badly injured, on the brink of death, begging us that we did not go. The army guards ushered us along through the chaos and led us outside the dome, with yet EVEN MORE army guards giving us commands, shouting at us. We were told to go down the slope to our right, and find the glass doors (ie, the marquee). Half way down the slope, the guard screams 'INCOMING', and we didn't realise the real reason for it until we got near the marquee; the lit up, smoking fire engine by Depth Charge caught our attention, then we saw a huge tank - being operated by army guards - slowly advancing towards us; certainly gave us the encouragement we needed to go into the marquee. A huge well done to all the actors, army guards and victims, who created a brilliant atmosphere which gave the evening a real tingling start. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the guards began to lose the voice after a while. We sat down, had a couple of drinks and nibbles and waited around (with the waiters and waitresses being given slightly camouflaged clothes to look the part). It was about 20 to 7 by the time we'd got everything sorted out and arrived at the marquee. Had we been given an itinerary, we'd have known ride time wouldn't be starting till 8ish, but instead we just hung around, enjoying the party atmosphere. As more and more guests arrived, more and more army guards came into the marquee. Soon, the great man himself - Lez Cougan - arrived! He just milled around, hung close to the walls and hid behind plants and such. He did a lot of staring and just creepily walked around; not that it attracted much attention really. He even did a little bit of shuffling during a couple of songs, which was quite funny. Unfortunately, not videos of the party atmosphere, but a couple of (bad) photos are below. By about half 7, there was some sort of commotion going on near the entrance to the marquee - guards were shouting, getting a shooting position and the like. It turns out they were evicting Lez Cougan for causing disruption, to which Lez responded with the usual spiel with giving warnings, aliens are here, etc. The party atmosphere sort of just continued for a bit longer, until the music stopped... Sirens started wailing and the lights went down. The audio loop that played at the end of Blow It Up that advertised Swarm played, and then army guards started shouting and screaming for people to come into their groups (it turned out that we were meant to be told out group number when we got out itinerary, but as we didn't, we just joined the closest one, with no big issue). Lights had dimly relit, and the groups were together. We were to be escorted around by some army guards (who were more there for the theme, as opposed to anything else), as well as a couple of staff and a leader, also a staff member. We were told that our group would be heading for Colossus first, though I think the original plan was to go to Saw first. Other groups went elsewhere, of course. The group sizes weren't big, I think ours was meant to be bigger, as there was only 20 something of us. After Groups 1-3 left, we were commanded to go, and so off we went... Pictures from inside the marquee: Me with an army guard. It turned out that this guy was one of the ones in Group 4! Lez Cougan was watching. Sorry for the appalling quality. The most 'famous' people we saw were a couple of people from The Only Way is Essex, and someone from Atomic Kitten (I forget who). YM@S were there seemingly, but didn't see them at all...Right, this next bit is in no way Swarm related, however, seeinghow it was part of the event designed around Swarm, and this is turning into some weird Trip Report / review mixture, I may as well stick it in if people want to read it. I'll keep it pretty short and sweet: We travelled from the marquee to Colossus, with a lot of the ordinary ride music being played, but being interrupted by Swarm audio, such as the alien's noise and news reports. At this point, the army guards did break out of role really, and were just generally friendly and chatty. Due to their costumes, they couldn't go on anything, so I guess just being able to have regular conversations and getting paid for it would do them nicely. One of the guards was saying how he'd been asked to do the event at half 4 that afternoon, and living in Camberley, he basically had to leave more or less straight away so he could get ready and learn what was going on. Anyways, we got to Colossus, as it seemed Saw - our original first ride - was having a couple of difficulties. Colossus was actually running pretty well, not at all rough, and a strange way for me to start my Thorpe season I guess. After that was said and done, Saw was still down, and Samurai was taken by another group, so we headed to good old Nemesis Inferno. I think more lights have been added to the tunnel, and as per usual, it was running extremely well. One nice ride later, it was announced that we were going to the main event - it was time to ride The Swarm... We got talking to our group leader, who was an absolutely great guy. He was talking about Swarm in general, saying how he'd already ridden it once when they were recorded for the advert - which is due to air on TV from the 18th by the way - and how he'd gotten front row, but wanted to try the back. He also said something interesting about Sunken Gardens, as apparently it WAS going to be used as a second entrance onto this island, but it was sooner scrapped in the design process to make the entrance to the island more amazing and give it a greater impact. Instead, it will be used as a second entrance to Island A, where the 2015 coaster should go, with the other entrance being from Swarm's island. It does mean that there's 3 years of putting up with congestion on the island, but I think it's worth it. We arrived at the island, which is just amazing in every sense of the word. The bridge has charred and broken beams around it, and I think there's going to be a sign there, which could well have a themed welcome to the island. You can see the plane, the overturned lorry, the shop, everything. It is truly jaw dropping. Then, of course, there's a huge 127ft lift hill right by you. The area is visually stunning to walk into. As we were crossing the bridge, a (more coincidentally I think) timed bit of acting occurred, with army guards carrying a victim on a stretcher, shouting for people to move to the sides. The victim was screaming in agony, begging for help. We, however, braved on. The area is surrounded with actors, including victims with foil wrapped around them, army guards and Lez Cougan. I don't think that the entrance feature was finished, but to save on walking in the queue line, we entered the queue quite close to the baggage area, probably about 15-20 steps walking. Worth noting, as has been previously mentioned, there is a designated front row queue that you go into. We dropped our bags off, and were diverted into the left queue line (which is actually for the right hand side of the ride; can see that causing confusion) which the staff member eerily saying 'The vicar will see you now...' After the baggage point, that's pretty much all the queueing done. You may have to wait in the station area for a few minutes, but that's it. If you're on the right, you just walk down, then choose a row, if you're on the left, you go up some stairs, behind an overturned police unit (the control cabin!), downstairs and you're there. As said, we were on the right hand side for out first go and, kindly, our group leader let us have the back row for our first ride; very nice of him! I assume the restraints are exactly like Raptor's; they're very bulky, but also extremely comfortable - the most comfortable I've sat in. One good thing is that you just don't know where to hold onto, which adds to the fear slightly. Another thing I liked about the back row in particular is, with the open roof, you can just see the top of the lift hill (which is probably more coincidental than anything, but still a good touch). As we took our seats, and actor dressed up as a vicar gave a short speech. Now, the vicar pretty much seems evil. I didn't hear all the speech, only the ending of it really. He was saying about his following and how people are being 'converted' by The Swarm, I believe, as well as going on about others not surviving. He wished us luck on our ride, again, in an eerie manner. Now, shameless speculation time, I have a feeling that the church's vicar is the 'original' Lez Cougan.. I can see how the story could work - the vicar Lez Cougan becomes brainwashed my the alien race that is The Swarm, and starts a following, with more and more people identifying themselves to be Lez Cougan. Soon, The Swarm launch an attack on the human race, starting at a church located at Thorpe Park, using it as their base, and the vicar as a human communicant. However, some people who have survived the assault, but were not fully 'converted' by The Swarm turn crazy, and warn people that aliens are invaded and so forth, and those are the Lez Cougans were encountered last year. From what I've gathered, that would certainly make sense and be a brilliant back story to the ride. More on the ride's story soon, though... Now, the actual ride experience. The lift hill goes by much quicker than I expected, zooming you up ever so quickly. Being right at the back, we slowly begun to see the train flip upside down, which was certainly an experience (it actually scared my mum - first time ever she's screamed on a coaster!), and then being whipped upside down yourself is a great feeling; certainly a highlight of the ride for the right hand side. Being at the back, it is quicker than it looks as well. Then, in general, the first drop is very nice, and going under the smoking plane wing is an amazing experience. As a point, if the trim was on, I could not feel it one bit. Then, for what is probably the surprise part of the ride for me, comes that zero-G roll. You really do 'feel' the inversion, crawling through it in a way. However, at the back, you see the train twist through quite elegantly, and then get thrown through the inversion at the top. Certainly is a moment, on either side. The picture point follows this, and it should get some pretty decent expressions. The incline loop, in honesty, is nothing special, you just go through it, and what you see with it is what you get - nothing disappointing, nothing amazing. That's not a bad thing, mind, as it's a fun experience, but it is just a standard element which is a bit of fun. The turn around the helicopter and the pond is BRILLIANT. There is a nice water skim effect, of course, which works beautifully with the train, and it something that interacts very well. I didn't see it off ride, due to there not be access that far down the ride area, but I can imagine that it is a visually stunning effect. The spinning helicopter blades can come as a little surprise as well to the unsuspecting. The whole turn is very quick and pretty amazing; the other highlight of the right hand side for me. The corkscrew is actually faster than it looks, but again is another inversion that you can really 'feel'. Now, then final inversion for the right hand side is a bit weak. You don't really come that close to the tower, so that doesn't feel that scary, and it's just a generic 'close, but not too close' feeling. In fairness, going through the supports is a fun experience, and will catch loads of people of guard. Again, I'm not saying that it is bad, it is very fun, but it's just not something you'd shout about (which, of course, not every element has to be). Flying over the queue line and station should be great when they're full though. After the final inversion, speed remains pretty much constant up until the final turn, which is a good thing. As for that final turn, I think loads of people are having a go at it, and will be surprised, as it is a bit of a fun turn really. Doesn't sum the ride up well (being away from all sorts of theming and generally everything), but it's a bit of fun. Hopefully that experience will improve when the adjacent island opens up, as at the the moment, it's a bit weak. As the ride ended, I was in shock. The ride does indeed go by quickly, but not in a bad way. I was speechless, and there was a sort of overload as to what I had just experienced; the ride is amazing, and there is no way of denying that in my eyes. We returned to the station, and exited. For the night, they were giving away free ORPs, which was great. The timing and quality wasn't perfect, as it's still being sorted out. Nonetheless, the three ORPs we got were pretty well timed, though one was a bit blurry. Pictures of them soon. As we walked away with our photo, we were 'interviewed', with a mock camera 'recording' me. The interview went more or less like this: "Have you just survived The Swarm?" "Yes, I have." "And what are your views about it." "Amazing. Simply, incredible." "So do you believe in aliens?" "I do now." "Now? So what made you change you mind?" "The Swarm." *Jaw drops* "So are you now part of Lez Cougan's following?" "Yes, yes I am." "And what makes you believe in Lez Cougan?" "The Swarm." "Oh my goodness, thank you so much." *Turns to camera* "So there you have ladies and gentlemen, another follower has joined Lez Cougan. Thank you for watching..." (I didn't hear the rest, it was noisy and they were walking). Okay, so I played along a bit, but I still found it a very nice touch, and it seems that the actors are being instructed to follow some sort of storyline for the ride, which can only be a good thing. (I know this sort of contradicts my view about Lez Cougan originally being a vicar, but ah well, as I said, it's just a theory). We were told we could sneak on another go if we wanted, but it turned out there was a slight technical glitch with the ride. It was sorted out pretty quickly, and testing and up and running within a few minutes I believe. However, in line with the group rotation, we went to Samurai (and had the longest, most extreme setting I've ever experienced - never have I started it with a windmill that goes on for about 30 seconds. The ride lasted a good 3-4 minutes! We were meant to go on the now open Saw, which then broke down as we got on it. We were allowed another go on Colossus, which some people in our group passed on, and instead wandered the Colossus shop (where I bought the new paperweight thing with Inferno, Stealth, Saw and Swarm lazered in). We were given an option of what to do, and most opted to go back to Swarm for the 30 minutes that remained of the evening, with a few heading back to the marquee. Our second go on Swarm saw us on the left hand side, at the front. I won't go into too much detail, as it would end up being pretty much a repeat as the first. However, a few words. Do not underestimate that first drop; it is not a short straw. The way you dip down and turn is very fun. Probably not as intimidating as the right hand side, but certainly still a good way to start the ride. Also, having it extremely close to the plane wing is an amazing experience - you do feel that you could touch it as you get closer and closer to it, though, in a way, it wasn't as close as I expected when I was actually underneath it. After the corkscrew is the water element for the left hand side, which isn't as good as the right hand one if I'm honest, but I guess it may 'feel' better when it's combined with the flaming fire engine effect, which wasn't on during the evening. Also, the highlight of the left hand side is the turn through the tower - it is probably the closest feeling you get on either side; it did surprise me, and I can imagine that most people will get slightly scared by that.. That's pretty much it for my views on the left hand side. Also, front row does give the very exposed feeling that wingriders are known for. However, I prefer the back, as with most coasters. We also got a third go, on the right and side, at the very back; can see that being a favourite for me. As said, not all effects were working; there was no flaming fire engine, nor the lit up eyes. Hopefully these can make an appearance very soon. There have been rumours about whether or not there was on board audio as well, and there was not any yesterday. HOWEVER, there were would effects during the ride. For example, after the train passed through the plane wing, there was a Swarm-like noise coming from it, which can be heard on and off ride. There was also a similar noise as it passes through the ruined tower. There may well be more. As for the audio, it was made by Glenn Freemantle (again, not John Murphy, as I previously said - sorry), and the whole music in the area is amazing. I didn't hear the YM@S soundtrack played once, so people should stop panicking about that. It's probably also worth pointing out that there are TVs in the queue line which play news reports, saying about "large explosions coming from Thorpe Park, a theme park south of London", which make it sound very convincing. I can imagine that there will be a slight story being told during the very long queue, which should be a great thing. I guess it is possible the YM@S soundtrack could pop up on the TVs during the queue, but it is doubtful in my eyes. That's pretty much the ride all explained and reviewed. One final thing is about the 'forcefulness' of the ride. The ride is no G force monster like Nemesis, so if that's what people are expecting, they may as well go to Alton Towers. However, the ride mixes elegance and forcefulness into one, and makes for a brilliant ride. As I've said time and time again, it is amazing - my favourite ride. Couple of other things; the overturned lorry (originally planned to be a food outlet, now a couple of sideshows) is looking great. The games are labelled as 'Fight back', and are themed to be a weapon testing facility. There's a cat rack game, and one of those ones where you have to shoot out a star using a gun I think. I think it's better than having a food outlet, which would congest the area up dramatically. The new Roast and Relish food outlet looks pretty good, tucked away to avoid congestion. The queue line kiosk, entrance feature and toilets all look amazingly themed, might I add. The shop is an extremely well themed, well disguised shipping container, and it doesn't look like the Saw Store, which is just dumped there - it looks amazing! Right, I think I've said pretty much everything I wanted to say, though there's probably more. As for the survival kits that people have seen, I unfortunately didn't get one, as they were of limited numbers, and after browsing the Swarm shop, they ran out. However, a couple had been abandoned, and was told I could 'help myself' to them, so I mixed and matched and got everything apart from the 'emergency survival blanket'. The ride, the theming, the audio, the experience to The Swarm is absolutely perfect. I will leave with some pictures the ORPs we got, the ORP casing, the survival kit, as well as a picture of a Swarm bag I got which features the 'Swarm Symbol', followed by my rating: ORP case. Inside of ORP case. Swarm Symbol bag. Survival kit. Contents of the kit. Sorry for poor quality - you can see the sweets 'Torpedoes', stress grenade and an envelope containing some PR stuff. First go on Swarm. Second go on Swarm. Third go on Swarm. The Swarm - 10/10

One post, ONE GODDAMN POST...

Hey people, So I'm probably not going to be in the UK for the opening of this mysterious attraction as I'm moving to the US, so I've done the next best thing and modeled the building and surrounding area in Left 4 Dead, I'm moving it over to No Limits 2 with some fancy programs, I will also upload the file to the Steam Workshop if anyone wants to look around. Ive used all the plans and it is to scale(as far as I know) Enjoy!

I totally get what you are saying Ian, and it's not unreasonable at all. Just watched the BBC news (because why are people ever watching sky 'news'?!) which had a report on the Smiler, still in the main bulletin. They mentioned that Merlin have delivered letters to all the victims ... Quite a different and pleasant approach compared to 6 flags when their Gurst killed someone on New Texas Giant, who went massively on the offensive and tried to shift blame pretty much from the moment it happened. When I first heard the Merlin announcement I thought it sounded a lot like they had found it was their procedures, not the ride systems, that had been the cause. But the first few words still leave that matter open and it could be that they are doing this just because it is the right thing to do, and if it later transpires it was a fault with the machine and not Alton they can go chasing Gurst through the courts to get the money paid out back from them. It'd be hard to criticise pretty much anything Merlin have done since the incident really.

Believe me, he is aware of this thread

Donate it to Paramount London as a welcome gift.

As much as Ceebeebbiibbiieess turned out alright I'm always going to miss the farm, and those rickety wobbly old squirrel nutty cars would still be a massive improvement on gerstlauers finest efforts.

News just in... Reports suggest a suspect named locally as 'professor burp' has been seen running from the scene with a box of matches. The only fatalities so far are thought to be a large family of bright yellow static ducks, a spokesman for the local duck community commented "QUACK" 600 times in 3 minuets. No one else cared about the loss.

How about a VIP let's all grab a paintbrush and paint Colossus?

I've found the cause of the flood, it shouldn't be unexpected..

Shots fired from tulleys ?

- Fan boys ‘designing’ audio for Thorpe Park’s Fright Nights and then watching the forums for comments and getting all defensive because nobody really understands the complete lack of artistic or creative design. “Woo cameos from the theme park community - intense!” - Flashing, multicoloured LED park wide lighting with no design or thought whatsoever - Significant lack of maze design, coherent theme and complete lack of quality - No Big Top - A non-show in the Dome where actors chase guests to some music because the competency to build the maze was no longer available - Another laughable, confused, messy marketing “campaign” - Black walled mazes (oh, they almost left Fright Nights) - Vulcan Peak Goodbye Fright Nights.

Can confirm it's not going backwards lads.

If we're doing requests, I'd like the Inferno dispatch bass to be loud enough for me to be able to hear it at home in Essex.

Fixed

That's some Derren Brown level predicting there...

It's not just me that finds that really creepy and disturbing right?

Look I feel very bad for those people and if there was some way to help them I would...But I don't know them. I'm not going to act like this is somehow a source of real concern for me, we are not part of each others lives. It'd be pretty disingenuous for me to say I can't laugh and smile today because of those four total strangers that got hurt. We all know J.S217 doesn't blame those four people for Oblivion being shut, he didn't throw a full blown teenage tantrum over it. I think we're allowed to be disappointed about the ramifications of Tuesdays events without being persecuted as heartless monsters, really.

Definitely a clue it's Hunger Games I knew it.

Next month, Universal Studios Florida introduce their 'Diagon Alley' expansion to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It sees the headline attraction 'Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts', the Hogwarts Express, as well as numerous shops from the Harry Potter universe. As to be expected, everyone is excited about the development. However, why should we be so excited? We've got a newly opened area which is much better than Diagon Alley ever could be - Angry Birds Land at Thorpe Park! Travelling all the way to America seems pointless when most of us on this forum can pop down to Thorpe in under a couple of hours to enjoy the delightful Angry Birds Land. First of all, let's look at the rides and attractions in each area. Angry Birds Land has a 115ft drop tower, perfect for thrill seekers, some fun dodgems, which are perfect for everyone, and a 4D cinema experience, which again is perfect for everyone. So, here, we have a land which caters for all ages - we have a ride which is solely dedicated for a thrill audience. As far as thrill rides go, Detonator: Bombs Away! is as thrilling as you can get; there's not many better drop towers around after all. Then there's a good set of dodgems. Okay, so dodgems aren't anything special, you can find them anywhere. But people like dodgems, and if people like something, you give it to them! Finally, the 4D experience is clearly something that's been designed for a younger audience, yet it works for everyone. What's most surprising about it is how immersive the attraction felt - it's a film about a set of cartoon birds, who don't speak, trying to get the precious eggs back from some bad pigs. Yet you feel a part of the film, you can create emotional bonds with the birds, and you feel like you're there with them. For a cartoon, that's pretty darn impressive. Now, Diagon Alley. We have a headline attraction being ride about escaping from a bank. Escaping...from a bank. Just let that sink in for a moment. And this will have loads of goblins scattered about. Not gonna lie, those goblins looked pretty hideous in the films, I imagine they'll look even more hideous in real life. Not exactly a family-friendly thing to have is it? Especially considering this is already a ride about escaping from a bank that you've broken into (great moral values there!). Now, this ride is apparently some epic dark ride/coaster combo. These types of rides are always risks, since some people's expectations can really shape how they react to the ride. Expect a coaster, you may be left unthrilled. Expect a dark ride, you may be left unimmersed. It's a really, really big risk. Then you've got a train ride linking two parks together. Now, it will of course be more like a 4D experience, and this all sounds well and good. But it's not going to be easy to create a 4D experience about a franchise which already has so much going for it; very difficult to create an emotional link to the story. I have so many concerns. Then there's also theming. Okay, Angry Birds Land's theming isn't the greatest, and there's room for more. However, let's step back and look at what Diagon Alley's theming will entail. Firstly, there's a dragon that breaths fire. Fantastic. That's better than anything at Angry Birds Land. However, this dragon doesn't move, from the looks of it at least. Talk about unrealistic! What's the point in having a creature for theming if it doesn't move. You're meant to be in a world where a dragon has just escaped; it's not gonna stand still, lording it over everyone else puffing some fire occasionally. It's going to move. Angry Birds Land's theming at least makes sense; you're in a snapshot of a game, where some birds have just been catapulted, others are about to be, and so forth. It makes perfect sense to the story. Diagon Alley's dragon does not. Then there's all the shop fronts. They're shop fronts from shops in a back alley in London. Where's the excitement in that? The transportation to a whole new world? You can't get that here. It's basically just like walking down a part of London with shops you've never seen before (which isn't exactly difficult). Poor theming really; it's taken realism a step too far. There's other things as well. Harry Potter is an outdated IP. The last book was released 7 years ago. The last film 3 years ago. Even if it's still popular, and there's a spin off film series on the way, the main Harry Potter IP is outdated. It's got little more than nostalgia now. It's time to let go. Take away the nostalgia and all we have is a kid's story that finished many years ago, and whilst still memorable, should be left alone, instead of picked away until its dignity has gone away. Angry Birds is about to get its second wave of popularity. There's a major film to be released in 2016. Mobile gaming is still huge, and a new game could easily make it to the top in 24 hours. Now that's a popular and current IP for you. I think that's all I need to get my point across. Harry Potter is an outdated IP, and Diagon Alley is shaping up to be an overhyped dark ride that teaches bad moral values and a 4D experience which could go really well or really badly. Perhaps not the best family area. Angry Birds, however, is a current, popular, IP, with Angry Birds Land having a quality 4D experience and rides for everyone, which everyone will enjoy. It also teaches good moral values (don't steal, fight for what you believe in, yadda yadda yadda). If that's not quality, I don't know what is. So save your money. Avoid Diagon Alley. Save yourself the disappointment. Take a trip down to Thorpe Park and bask in the greatness that is Angry Birds Land, and smile to yourself that you're in a better place than some hocus pocus area set about robbing a bank. You deserve it.

For anyone interested, I'm sure you all will be, this evening the original entrance soundtrack was blaring! You will be hearing it from now!

To celebrate the launch of Angry Birds land at THORPE PARK RESORT lets have a sporadic, unofficial, awarded by anyone, TPM Angry Bird Award! To celebrate those amusingly angry posts. In a surprising turn of events the inaugural winner is not Holly... Congratulations Steven Vig. For services to rage and unwarranted aggressive rudeness, you are todays Angry Bird. Feel free to award your own...

The kids can piss off to Legoland

Two headlines on that actual page... 11 TRUTHS ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR HOUSEMATE 8 LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT MALE ORGASMS Suggestive indeed, on the site of a family paper. Where's the petition? BAN THIS FILTH! Also liked the (presumably) misprint... So outraged he decided to wear one then!

Wait, what theming!?

How about you go underground into the old Rangers cavern. All of them have become crazy animals, angry at their banishment from Thorpe Park so they lay a curse on you that every time Slammer breaks down, a member of your family suddenly and mysteriously dies.

To clarify, we will not be closing our major thrill rides at 8 or even 9pm. All our most popular rides will stay open right through until 10pm. The only rides that will close earlier will be those that have little to no demand in the evening, and will close depending on demand on the day.

I'm starting to think that anyone who suggests Thorpe get a TopSpin should be banned for a week...