JoshC.

The most important* awards are here! It’s been one hell of a year for me, and as a result rather than review things on a whole (it would take a very, very long time to go through each park) I’d prefer to just give out awards to the best and worst rides and parks I’ve experienced this year. So let’s get cracking:
Best Park – Efteling (Honourable Mentions – Phantasialand, Europa Park)
I fell completely in love with Efteling this year, everything that I want parks to do oozes from the place. It stinks of class, care and thought throughout the place, with one of the best park atmospheres around, you can tell why it’s one of the biggest theme parks in the world, and why 90% odd of all Dutch people have visited it. Quality over Quantity is clearly their ideal, as the dark rides there are Disney tier good, and the coasters fulfil the family fun market perfectly. The Fairytale Forest is the biggest attraction and it’s gorgeous to wander through for 2 hours and not feel like time was wasted. The hotel is also lovely and continues the feeling of care and attention, whilst Aquanura is a fantastic end to the day.
To be honest, this won the award for the Pancake House alone, so the rest of the park didn’t actually matter.
Best New for 2014 Ride – Helix (HM – Chiapas, Ratatouille, Lost Temple, Alpina Blitz)
This was predictable eh? Yes Helix was clearly the best new ride for 2014, though there are plenty of rides that did their best to entice me otherwise. Unfortunately Helix is pure perfection, from the comfortable trains, to the adventurous track, the amazing airtime and interaction with both other rides and mountain. Mack and Liseberg struck gold with this, and there aren’t enough words in the dictionary to praise it enough.
Best “New for Benin” Ride – Maus au Chocolat (HM – Van Helsing’s Factory, Twister, Superman Madrid)
Probably one of the most trickiest awards to hand out, there were several rides vying for this award, even more than the Honourable Mentions that got into the list. But the winner in the end had to be Maus au Chocolat for being a fantastic interactive dark ride with tonnes of theming and details from the entrance to the exit. Bonus points for being one of the few rides that made me feel hungry through the deliberate mixture of imagery, recipes and piped smells.
Best Water Ride – Chiapas (HM – River Quest, Nautic Jet)
There was only ever going to be one winner here, Chiapas being the best modern day water ride around. Theming, interesting layout, the soundtrack and rave room all add up to provide a fantastic overall experience.
Best Flat Ride – Gerstlauer Sky Fly (HM – Talocan, Spin Spider)
Not too many choices here, but the Sky Fly (ridden at Nigloland and Legoland Deutschland) was a real stand-out in the category. Possibly because I have the knack for it which is an issue with the ride type for many people rather than it actually being good though, regardless it provides a level of interactivity that shouldn’t be ignored, even if the throughput is dreadful.
Best Dark Ride – Fata Morgana (HM – Droomvulcht, Bla Taget)
There are plenty of boat rides that take inspiration from Pirates of the Caribbean, and this one is no exception, but is one of the few that could probably be seen as a massive step up. Using the tow boat system is possibly one of the biggest advantages to the ride, as it allows the sets to be more intimate/smaller and yet still grand in scale. Whilst it is probably full of clichés, it does everything so well, it’s certainly deserving of this award.
Worst Park – Fantasy Island (HM – Walygator, Heide Park, Movie Park Germany)
It’s no wonder this place ended up in administration this year. Location is an issue, as Skegness is probably one of the most seedy of UK Seaside Resorts, combined with the arcade Pyramid and the giant market results in clientele that make Blackpool look classy. It’s tacky but not in a nice way, and for a place that does consider itself a major park (rather than a sea-side funfair most similar parks do such as Bottons or Joyland), it just feels awful to be around for more than a few hours. Plus the rides are crap bar Millenium Coaster. I felt glad to leave.
Worst Coaster – Bandit (HM – Odyssey, Coaster Express, Temple of the Night Hawk)
I rode a LOT of duff coasters this year, ranging from the dull to the obscenely rough to sometimes a mixture of both. I’ve also now discovered why people detest anything made by RCCA, for the two coasters that I did were both terrible, but Bandit was by far and large the worst. You’d think a modern take on Coney Island’s Cyclone would improve it, but you’d be wrong. Bandit is obscene pain from start to finish, and would be better served as a pile of ashes then a ride.
Worst Flat Ride – High Fall (HM – Huss Condor, Huss Frisbee)
Stand-Up Floorless Drop Towers are a marmite ride type at the best of times, but High Fall is one of the worst examples available to experience. The fact that upon every drop a scream of all the riders was followed by cries of pain as it came to a stop makes this the top of the class in being bad.
Worst Water Ride – Wakobato
A Splash Battle that has zero interaction between boats and theming? Utterly pointless, handing this the title quite swiftly and without much need for deliberation.
Biggest Surprise – Van Helsing’s Factory (HM – Tranan, Twister)
This is probably the biggest surprise because of how crap the rest of the park’s attractions are. This ride completely stand-outs amongst the dregs and is definitely one of the best examples of how to do a dark ride coaster. With good theming and a layout that takes full advantage of both the building and the Gerstlauer Bobsled’s tight turns and drops, it deserves recognition for being an unexpected gem.
Most Over-rated Ride – Expedition GeForce (HM – Colossos, Balder)
Controversy time, though the Honourables are just as controversial, GeForce is deemed one of the best rides in the entire world, but it’s an uncomfortable mess in reality, where each airtime hill throws your thighs into the lapbar. Once again an Intamin with a great first drop, but the lack of comfort makes the ride unenjoyable. Also Intamin’s just seemingly appear over-rated when I ride them, but Balder is the one I most enjoyed out of these 3, but wouldn’t say it’s one of the best in the world.
Strangest Park – Schloss Beck (HM – Klotten, Parc Saint Paul)
There were a few parks looking at winning this award, but Schloss Beck wins for the weird placement (round the corner from Movie Park), having an old building centrepiece and some strange assortment of rides and woodland sky walk thing. Whilst many other parks have the manual operation rides, this one had my first and as a result, it wins.
Best Park related Experience – Nigloland Personal Tour (HM – Departing Liseberg with Ride of the Valkyries)
Thanks to my friend John playing the goon card, we managed to meet one of Nigloland’s project managers who gave us a complete tour of the park, from the hotel to backstage. It provided some great insight into the industry as well as how the park in particular takes itself to a serious degree in regards to theming and experience (from theming plant rooms to moaning about visible concrete blocks in the water).
Worst Park related Experience – Peugeot 206 dying in France
On the way through France my car decided that she’d had enough with life and the gearbox died on a random French motorway. As a result she was left in a small town and the panic of having to sort out a hire car and continue our journey wasn’t the most fun thing I’ve done on a trip.
Best Ride Experience – Helix at night
As we all know, night rides tend to make rides even better than during the day, so unsurprisingly this also affects Helix. Though I loved it from my first ride, the night-time ride was nothing sort of astounding, especially through the airtime hills and the hill-side helix. With the views of Gothenburg surrounding you just showing that even inner city parks can have moments of beauty.
Most Hilarious Ride Experience – Anaconda at Walygator’s brake issues
Walygator was one of the worst parks I visited this year, but one incident that stands out is the problems its Wooden coaster had with the brakes. To put it simply, they weren’t working properly, resulting in a varied level of stopping position, be it too early or late. On our ride, the brakes stopped us halfway in the station, resulting in the front end pretty much on the lift-hill. So bad, it was hilarious (the park was still awful though).
Milestones – 350th (Odyssey), 400th (Twister)
And there we have it, the most important* awards of 2014. Thanks for reading, and bring on 2015!
*Note; the actual importance of these awards may be contestable.

Next month, Universal Studios Florida introduce their 'Diagon Alley' expansion to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It sees the headline attraction 'Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts', the Hogwarts Express, as well as numerous shops from the Harry Potter universe.
As to be expected, everyone is excited about the development. However, why should we be so excited? We've got a newly opened area which is much better than Diagon Alley ever could be - Angry Birds Land at Thorpe Park! Travelling all the way to America seems pointless when most of us on this forum can pop down to Thorpe in under a couple of hours to enjoy the delightful Angry Birds Land.
First of all, let's look at the rides and attractions in each area. Angry Birds Land has a 115ft drop tower, perfect for thrill seekers, some fun dodgems, which are perfect for everyone, and a 4D cinema experience, which again is perfect for everyone. So, here, we have a land which caters for all ages - we have a ride which is solely dedicated for a thrill audience.
As far as thrill rides go, Detonator: Bombs Away! is as thrilling as you can get; there's not many better drop towers around after all. Then there's a good set of dodgems. Okay, so dodgems aren't anything special, you can find them anywhere. But people like dodgems, and if people like something, you give it to them! Finally, the 4D experience is clearly something that's been designed for a younger audience, yet it works for everyone. What's most surprising about it is how immersive the attraction felt - it's a film about a set of cartoon birds, who don't speak, trying to get the precious eggs back from some bad pigs. Yet you feel a part of the film, you can create emotional bonds with the birds, and you feel like you're there with them. For a cartoon, that's pretty darn impressive.
Now, Diagon Alley. We have a headline attraction being ride about escaping from a bank. Escaping...from a bank. Just let that sink in for a moment. And this will have loads of goblins scattered about. Not gonna lie, those goblins looked pretty hideous in the films, I imagine they'll look even more hideous in real life. Not exactly a family-friendly thing to have is it? Especially considering this is already a ride about escaping from a bank that you've broken into (great moral values there!). Now, this ride is apparently some epic dark ride/coaster combo. These types of rides are always risks, since some people's expectations can really shape how they react to the ride. Expect a coaster, you may be left unthrilled. Expect a dark ride, you may be left unimmersed. It's a really, really big risk.
Then you've got a train ride linking two parks together. Now, it will of course be more like a 4D experience, and this all sounds well and good. But it's not going to be easy to create a 4D experience about a franchise which already has so much going for it; very difficult to create an emotional link to the story. I have so many concerns.
Then there's also theming. Okay, Angry Birds Land's theming isn't the greatest, and there's room for more. However, let's step back and look at what Diagon Alley's theming will entail. Firstly, there's a dragon that breaths fire. Fantastic. That's better than anything at Angry Birds Land. However, this dragon doesn't move, from the looks of it at least. Talk about unrealistic! What's the point in having a creature for theming if it doesn't move. You're meant to be in a world where a dragon has just escaped; it's not gonna stand still, lording it over everyone else puffing some fire occasionally. It's going to move.
Angry Birds Land's theming at least makes sense; you're in a snapshot of a game, where some birds have just been catapulted, others are about to be, and so forth. It makes perfect sense to the story. Diagon Alley's dragon does not. Then there's all the shop fronts. They're shop fronts from shops in a back alley in London. Where's the excitement in that? The transportation to a whole new world? You can't get that here. It's basically just like walking down a part of London with shops you've never seen before (which isn't exactly difficult). Poor theming really; it's taken realism a step too far.
There's other things as well. Harry Potter is an outdated IP. The last book was released 7 years ago. The last film 3 years ago. Even if it's still popular, and there's a spin off film series on the way, the main Harry Potter IP is outdated. It's got little more than nostalgia now. It's time to let go. Take away the nostalgia and all we have is a kid's story that finished many years ago, and whilst still memorable, should be left alone, instead of picked away until its dignity has gone away. Angry Birds is about to get its second wave of popularity. There's a major film to be released in 2016. Mobile gaming is still huge, and a new game could easily make it to the top in 24 hours. Now that's a popular and current IP for you.
I think that's all I need to get my point across. Harry Potter is an outdated IP, and Diagon Alley is shaping up to be an overhyped dark ride that teaches bad moral values and a 4D experience which could go really well or really badly. Perhaps not the best family area. Angry Birds, however, is a current, popular, IP, with Angry Birds Land having a quality 4D experience and rides for everyone, which everyone will enjoy. It also teaches good moral values (don't steal, fight for what you believe in, yadda yadda yadda). If that's not quality, I don't know what is.
So save your money. Avoid Diagon Alley. Save yourself the disappointment. Take a trip down to Thorpe Park and bask in the greatness that is Angry Birds Land, and smile to yourself that you're in a better place than some hocus pocus area set about robbing a bank. You deserve it.

So another year passes and it only seems right to look back on 12 months of fun, thrills and excitement, in a way that only Mark9 can. So where do we start?
January 2014 - Disneyland Paris
Ok, sure, this trip only featured one new ride (Peter Pans Flight fact fans) but it also marked the occasion where I somehow managed 42 hours of consciousness, the trip where I took a nap during cinemagique and where Jamie fell asleep eating food in Hyperion. Yes there was fatigue and short tempers but it was a fantastic way to start a brand new year. From what looked like a flooded ferry to getting more rides on Tower of Terror.


February 2014
And now the season takes a slight down turn. This month featured my only trip to the Towers and this kind of epitomised Merlins year for me. Whilst Nemesis was running well (albeit on one train) and things like Spinball had minimal queues, there was no atmosphere in the park whatsoever. Usually during February there's excitement for the upcoming full season but not this time around. This year marks the first season since 2003 that I did not ride Oblivion and the first since opening that I didn't ride Rita, The Smiler or Thirteen. And part of me didn't even care. If it wasn't for Dan9's company this trip would have been completely forgettable.
March 2014
And then it was Thorpe's turn. Despite multiple rides on Inferno and The Swarm there was little to no energy in the park. The same old problems were occurring such as Slammer and Samurai closed or reliable issues up and down the place. Thank god for the company of the rest of TPM or I would have really despised my day out. And luckily with this month out of the way, the season really began...
April 2014
I had last visited Chessington in 2012, before Tomb Blaster had its queue line incident so had reasonably high expectations. And frankly, this was the star UK park for me. The park somehow looks rejuvenated in places and run down to hell in others. Unlike others, I like Scorpion Express and do think it has breathed life into a ride that was well beyond its sell by date when it closed in 2012. Zufari was rubbish even before I compare to Kilimanjaro but getting on rides like Fury and Vampire sent me into rose tinted glasses land. I do like Chessington in spite of its many, many faults.

May 2014
New Rollercoasters:-
179. Medusa - Discovery Kingdom
180. Kong - Discovery Kingdom
181. Cobra - Discovery Kingdom
182. V2: Vertical Velocity - Discovery Kingdom
183. Superman - Ultimate Flight - Discovery Kingdom
184. Roar - Discovery Kingdom
185. Boomerang: Coast to Coaster - Discovery Kingdom
186. Roadrunner Express - Discovery Kingdom
187. Tatsu - Magic Mountain
188. Apocalypse - Magic Mountain
189. Superman: Escape from Kryptonite - Magic Mountain
190. Goldrusher - Magic Mountain
191. Riddlers Revenge - Magic Mountain
192. Green Lantern - Magic Mountain
193. Batman: The Ride (backwards) - Magic Mountain
194. Scream - Magic Mountain
195. Colossus - Magic Mountain
196. Goliath - Magic Mountain
197. Viper - Magic Mountain
198. Ninja - Magic Mountain
199. Full Throttle - Magic Mountain
200. Big Thunder Mountain - Disneyland
201. Matterhorn Bobsled B - Disneyland
202. Space Mountain - Disneyland
203. California Screamin’ - California Adventure
204. Goofys Sky School - California Adventure
205. Gadget Go Coaster - Disneyland
206. Silver Bullet - Knotts Berry Farm
207. Xcelerator - Knotts Berry Farm
208. Coast Rider - Knotts Berry Farm
209. Boomerang - Knotts Berry Farm
210. Pony Express - Knotts Berry Farm
211. Montezoomas Revenge - Knotts Berry Farm
212. Jaguar - Knotts Berry Farm
213. Sierra Sidewinder - Knotts Berry Farm
214. West Coaster - Pacific Pier
215. Matterhorn Bobsled A - Disneyland
This of course was the flagship trip of the year, a visit that was two years in the making and had a lot too live up to. I can say for sure it lived up to the hype and features some of my favourite rides ever. Starting with the city of San Francisco, everyone should make as much effort as possible to this historic, cultural, awesome city. No one can fail to be disappointed by the Golden Gate Bridge or where history was made in the Castro. To the sealions down at Pier 39 or Alcatraz this place is amazing.

The long, long, LONG drive to Magic Mountain is worth the distance. I know its reputation is low but it has a lot of original, decent rides including my favourite flyer, my favourite suspended and my favourite stand up. With strong support rides like Apocalypse, Goliath and Scream it should be on anyones radar to visit.

Despite my negative comments in my trip report, I really did love Disneyland and California Adventure. From California Screamin' to Haunted Mansion it's really a place filled with such variety and within a stones throw of Los Angeles. Speaking of Los Angeles, despite not spending as much time as I had wished, walking up to the Hollywood sign will be something I always remember. That view is spectacular.

And finally 24 hour day at Disneyland which was some feat. World of Color at 3:30 in the morning. Magical.

A classic Liner

An event in its own right

One too many drinks in the Castro
June 2014
So June didn't see any theme park visits. Instead I decided to be cultural and visit the wonders of Amsterdam. I'm sure if you use your imagination you can just guess what I got up too. From the Red Light District too a club that features people that don't fit into gender brackets. It was a most enlightening trip.


A cultural gin museum
July and August 2014
Ok, so I didn't go anywhere but I did get a mortgage and move into a new flat in the old Olympic village in Stratford.

September 2014
216. Helix - Liseberg
217. Kanonen - Liseberg
218. Balder - Liseberg
219. Lisebergbanan - Liseberg
Set hype levels to stun. This was the month of Helix, Mack's latest and greatest roller coaster. I've always heard a lot about Liseberg and suffice to say I was very happy with my trip. Excellent rides and roller coasters and a great time was had in Gothenburg nearby where I went into a scary submarine.


October 2014
Rather hastily, a trip to Phantasialand was booked, paid for and done just like that. I forgot how much I adored this place and was very glad to be back. I will not be leaving eight years in-between visits next time.

November 2014
And finally, to bookend the trips was Disneyland Paris to come and ride Ratatouille (and to finally get on Orbitron and Autopia) In a few years time, Ratatouille will be recognised as the fantastic ride that it truly is. This is Pixars greatest work since Toy Story 3 screen wise. Go and visit and see for yourself.
And with that, my year in a nutshell. So what is the most notable rides of 2014?
Best Water Ride:- Chiapas
Best Dark Ride:- Ratatouille
Best Rollercoaster:- Tatsu
Biggest Surprise:- California Screamin'
Best Park:- California Adventure
And finally, the best new ride of 2014 goes too....
....
....

None other then the utterly sublime Radiator Spring Racers. In my mind it will take a hell of a lot to top this in 2015. But then Europa Park is just around the corner..
Thanks for reading, in fact thanks if you even made it this far down the page. Please feel free too leave comments below.

This is the final instalment in a 4-part series about my travels around Asia earlier this year, and some of the decidedly different Parks I encountered whilst I was there:
 
SuốI Tiên, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Đầm Sen, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Siam Park City, Bangkok, Thailand Dream World, Bangkok, Thailand  
Of all the Theme Parks I visited during my Asia Adventure, the one most traditionally "themed" was undoubtedly Thailand's Dream World.
 
Part 4: Dream World
 

 
Not to be confused with the famous Park of the same name in Queensland, Australia, Thailand's Dream World is billed by much tourist paraphernalia as being the country's version of Disney World, Orlando. But whilst you can certainly see how the Park has been influenced by its American counterpart, the end result is a little different.
 
As with Siam Park City, getting to Dream World is only really possible via car, especially given that the Park actually sits outside the city of Bangkok itself, in the Pathum Thani province. Getting there involves inevitably sitting in a henious Bangkok traffic jam, although my hour-long trip from my hotel (27 miles) clearly pales into significance compared to other horror stories: "...two or three weeks ago, travelling from Pathum Thani to central Bangkok, it took four and a half hours...".
 

 
From the start it was clear that Dream World was the most developed of all the Asian Parks I had visited - the drive to the Park involves crossing a pink Dream-World-branded bridge with castles / turrets / flags aplenty on the way in. And it was also packed - clearly a popular choice for a day out for both locals and tourists alike (unlike the other Parks I visited, there was a noticeable tourist contingent in Dream World's customer base).
 
The entrance to the Park is pretty impressive, with a colourful castle and bold signage standing amongst pretty and well maintained foliage. So far, so good!
 

 
Surprisingly, given the clear increase in quality on offer, Dream World was not the most expensive Asian Theme Park I'd visited, at just 800 Baht (£15.58) for a "tourist" ticket, including all the rides and entry to the Snow Town (more on that later!).
 
For comparison, Siam Park City had come in at 900 Baht (£17.25), although this also included entry to the waterpark as well. As with Siam Park City, the Park operates a two-tier entry policy, with locals paying significantly reduced rates vs. tourists...
 
Entering the Park is a surreal but fun experience, with some of the most randomly placed themeing I've seen for a while.
 

 
And the cutesy-Asian theme continued as you walk down the very pretty promenade to the large lake at the centre of the Park. I'm not sure whether this is supposed to be a cat / mouse / Pikachu?
 

 
Once at the lake, a variety of mascots were there for photo opportunities including the Park's main mascot, a rotund red animal of some description, sporting a Dream World hat.
 

 
Note the seriously impressive horticultural effort put into the Park, which far surpassed any of the other Asian Parks I had visited.
 

 
Mr. Bean is reportedly one of the UK's biggest foreign entertainment exports, having been sold to nearly 200 TV territories worldwide, so it really should have been no surprise to find him at Dream World, complete with comedy wet umbrella. Reminded me at little of the Les Parapluies de Cherbourg umbrella effect in Walt Disney Studios at DLRP...!
 

 
So the Park had made a very favourable impression on me so far, but what of the rides?
 
Well, as with Siam Park City, Dream World had a pretty solid roster of original Western-made attractions, rather than anything cheaper / less reliable / less comfortable...! And the headline attraction was a rather rare Vekoma Swinging Turns ride by the name of Sky Coaster.
 
Originally opened at World Expo Park in Queensland, Australia in 1988, and moved to Dream World in 1994, the ride is only one of three Vekoma Swinging Turns attractions ever made. I had ridden one of the other two at Bobbejaanland, Belgium, and the third is located in Mitsui Greenland, Japan. As with Dream Catcher at Bobbejaanland, this version of the ride had been retro-fitted with new Vekoma floorless swinging trains, rather than the original enclosed version - much like Vekoma did for Arrow's Vampire trains at Chessington.
 
It also sported a fab dragon / Loch Ness Monster(?) topiary...
 

 
As with Bobbejaanland's version, the ride was good fun, although more on the side of "pleasant" rather than "thrilling". Only towards the end of the ride and in the tighter helices did the train pick up enough speed to deliver any pops of real excitement.
 
The experience was very smooth though and was a clear hit with the crowds - the ride had the longest queues I saw all day, at points reaching an hour! The ride also had an on-ride photography booth situated at the exit - the first I'd seen on my Asian travels.
 

 
Alas the station wasn't particularly well themed, unless the theme was supposed to be "tin shed"...
 

 
Next up, more Vekoma goodness in the form of Space Mountain. Now if ever the Park were inviting comparisons to Disney, they certainly were here...!
 
Space Mountain was - as with Sky Coaster - relocated from World Expo Park in 1994, and uses Vekoma's MK-900 guage track, much like the overly-long Temple of the Night Hawk at Phantasialand and the shorter/sweeter Vogel Rok at Efteling.
 

 
The ride was very well presented though, with solid space-based themeing throughout. And it, like Sky Coaster, was very popular with the crowds.
 
As such, the queue was especially uncomfortable to wait in, given the large volume of people, fairly slow operations, and the fact it was still baking hot. Have I mentioned in this series of Trip Reports that Thailand in April is really quite hot?! It really is.
 
Hallelujah for the queueline fans / misters!
 

 
How many dark rides do you know where the track layout is stuck up on the wall by the entrance? No surprises about what was in store for us on Space Mountain then...
 

 
Overall I liked Space Mountain - a good length family ride with some exciting turns and drops, largely because the entire ride is in pitch darkness, so riders have no idea what's coming. Alas some trademark Vekoma-roughness was present, but overall it was a lot of fun.
 

 
Looking in the direction of the supporting attractions in the Park, visitors find a good set of Western-made flats and flumes, all presented in a very colourful way.
 
Hurricane, the Park's Huss Top Spin for example, has to sport the most vibrant paint job that I've ever seen...!
 

 
New for 2014 was Tornado, which stood resplendent in orange and yellow, and came sponsored by a famous Asian Green Tea company. I've not ridden many Technical Park (Italy) flat rides before, but this provided some impressive ejector airtime at the top of each swing. Strong Gs as well, which when combined with the heat, made me quite light headed indeed.
 
The ride also had an on-ride photo offer - although the photos were taken manually, by a Park employee with a DSLR...!
 

 
Dream World also boasts a Shoot the Chutes flume made by Hopkins, called Super Splash. This version was shorter (16m) than Tidal Wave at Thorpe (26m), although the splash just as drenching. But who's complaining in this weather?!
 

 
Also welcome in the Bangkok heat: Snow Town. The attraction is very popular with the locals (Snow! In a tropical city!), and as such carries an extra charge on top of the usual entrance ticket. Happily, it is included as part of the tourist ticket, so I gave it a go.
 

 
Temperatures inside Snow Town are around -5°C, a good 40°C difference between the temperatures outside Snow Town - so the Park gave out free puffa jackets and wellington boots to all those entering, in much the same way that Đầm Sen did for their Ice Palace attraction, Bằng Băng.
 

 
Snow Town was a surreal experience, with one half of the building a heavily themed snow dome...
 

 
...and the other an icy speed slide! This was a lot of fun, but felt pretty precarious - lean too far backwards/forwards/sideways on the inflatable sleds and you'll topple out onto the hard, bumpy ice underneath. Thankfully I kept it together, but the runway at the bottom wasn't long enough, so I ended up careering headlong into the side of the building.
 
I suspect the Park are aware of the potential for accidents here, choosing to station a good 4-5 employees at the bottom of the run to catch / comfort those who overshoot / have fallen out of their sled...
 

 
If Snow Town wasn't a surreal enough experience, it's worth showing some of the other oddities in Dream World, which make the Park somewhat unique.
 
For example, navigating the Park was more entertaining than usual, thanks to this guy.
 

 
And the Park's toilets were often decked out with a statue of some sort, in this case of a grown man in a bath wearing a nappy...
 

 
...and in this case of a constipated baby on a potty.
 

 
And this guy seems to just have that sinking feeling...!
 

 
Anyway - back to the rides. And the last coaster of the day was Speedy Mouse, a Cavazza Diego kiddie model opened in 2006, in replacement of the Park's previous ride, Speedy Mouse! The original was a standard Big Apple ride, which ran from 2003 - 2005, but thankfully the replacement was not a like-for-like swap, but a new ride / layout altogether.
 
The second Speedy Mouse, as seen below, was bought from a Family Entertainment Centre in Bangkok.
 

 
The ride was surprisingly good, with a good whip-around during the first drop, and a tight helix towards the end - its bark was definitely weaker than its bite!
 
Vastly superior to the previous Big Apple incarnation, I have no doubt.
 

 
Other supporting rides at the Park included the Vikings pirate ship (background) and Bump Boat (foreground) - both pretty self explanatory.
 

 
Disney-parallels abound once again with the Haunted Mansion walkthrough attraction, which featured multiple levels and all kinds of zombies / mummies / deceased people popping up / out at you.
 

 
The Park also had a Cable Car transportation system, which seemed to require a lot of manual effort to move the cars around when in the stations...
 

 
Alien was a similar ride in many ways to Alien Encounter: Extra Terrorestrial at, erm, Disney World (now replaced by Stitch). Clearly a newer ride at the Park, after a video-based pre-show, riders sit and watch an anamatronic alien sequence, which then turns more sinister as the attraction is plunged into complete darkness, and the "aliens" wreak havoc with riders seats etc.
 
Pretty well done to be honest (if not a complete rip off of the Mouse), but not really my cup of tea.
 

 
There was also a 4D Adventure attraction, but given that my knowledge of Thai is poor at best, I gave the screening a miss.
 

 
And finally, one of the most weird and wonderful attractions at Dream World is Giant House, which is a short walk through a - you guessed it - Giant's House. Think of Honey I Shrunk the Audience, but "real"!
 

 
This was really nicely done, with a bedroom, lounge and kitchen area for guests to walk through and investigate. Quite bizarre!
 

 
And one final parting shot of Dream World: this was the entrance to the Fantasy Land area, where a lot of the kiddie rides were located. Great to see so much attention has gone into the presentation of this Park, with areas like this almost approaching the standards of major Western Parks.
 

 
Dream World, then, is a great day out, and I can recommend it to anyone holidaying in Bangkok. What it lacks in thrill rides and coasters (see Siam Park City for those), it more than makes up for in presentation and theme. And it's pretty big too - there are many rides and attractions not shown in this Trip Report, including Grand Canyon rapids, Hollywood Stunt Show, and kids Water Fun play area.
 
The Park's investment in appearance and focus on the family market is clearly paying off, as Dream World had the largest crowds of all of the Parks I visited on my Asia Adventure. The Disney model, it seems, is not a bad one to follow. And with one or two more "headline" attractions, I think the place would be a real winner.
 
~
 
That's the end of my Asia Adventure Trip Reports - I hope you enjoyed the tours! Comments? Please post below!

This is the third in a 4-part series about my travels around Asia earlier this year, and some of the decidedly different Parks I encountered whilst I was there:
 
SuốI Tiên, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Đầm Sen, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Siam Park City, Bangkok, Thailand Dream World, Bangkok, Thailand  
Having left the colourful Đầm Sen behind in Vietnam, and spent a few days in Cambodia enjoying the magnificent temples at Angkor Wat, I crossed the border into Thailand and made a beeline for my third Asian Park: Siam Park City.
 
Part 3: Siam Park City
 

 
Siam Park City is located to the east of Bangkok, unfortunately well out of reach of the city's 2-line metro - so getting there meant jumping in a taxi. And compared to the (pretty bustling) Ho Chi Minh City, traffic in Bangkok really is crippling, meaning the 20 mile journey from my hotel to the Park took a little over an hour... and this was using the faster toll roads!
 
It is worth saying here that Thailand is a far more developed country than Vietnam (or Cambodia for that matter), making it far more "familiar" for the average Western tourist. It also means it is bigger, busier and more commercial; and this unfortunately means more scams to watch out for. A pretty common one exists in the taxi industry: many Thai taxi drivers approach tourists and suddenly their meter "doesn't work", so they quote a fixed price for the journey. Never accept these journeys! The "fixed price" is often up to twice as expensive as the metered fare... and that meter isn't really "broken"...
 
To get to Siam Park City, I had to negotiate with 3 taxi drivers (all who offered me a flat fare of between 350 - 400 Baht) before I found one that would take me on the meter. Meter cost: 160 Baht.
 

 
And much as Thailand seemed more "grown up" vs. my other Asian destinations, so seemed its Amusement industry: Siam Park City was a far more developed Park than either of the two I had visited in Vietnam. As I said - bigger, busier and more commercial, which in Siam Park City's case even meant the presence of original Western-manufactured rides, rather than any knock-off versions...!
 
So, onto the Trip Report. And Siam Park City has one of my favourite entrances to any Theme Park I've been to, mostly due to the large portrait of "Phra Chao Yu Hua" / "The Lord Above Our Heads" hanging above the gates. Thai people absolutely revere their monarch (King Rama IX), so this was not a huge surprise: their devotion is so embedded in the culture that legally speaking, any offence against the dignity of the monarch may be (and often is) punished. For example, at the start of any movie shown in a Thai cinema, a short video is run to which all viewers must stand: failing to stand can lead to arrest...
 
Anyway, I digress. Can you imagine Thorpe Park displaying a portrait of HM The Queen above its entrance just before the bridge...?
 

 
Probably not.
 
Siam Park City operates a two-tier ticketing system: one price for tourists, and another price for locals. Alas there was no way for me to get around looking like a Westerner! Tourists pay 900 Baht (£17.25) for entry and access to all rides, whereas locals pay only 500 Baht (£9.57) for the same deal. Tickets are purchased from booths just to the left of this photo of the rather grand entrance foyer:
 

 
The Park is anchored in the centre by a large rotating Siam Park City globe atop a fountain, complete with pink cat mascots holding hands. There were many of these plastic cat statues dotted around the Park, many larger than the ones here. Not to everyone's tastes, but effort had clearly been made with the presentation of the Park...!
 

 
Time for some rides: the Park headliner being Vortex. Your eyes don't deceive you - this is actually a legit Vekoma SLC, and a pretty long one at that!
 

 
The Park advertising is not wrong: Vortex is one of only 2 extended Vekoma "Susperded Looping Coaster"s in the world; the second being in Suzhou Amusement Land, China. It has a track length of 765m vs. the more ubiquitous standard 689m version, although the track packs in the same number of inversions (5) - just over a rather different layout. But would this be a good thing...?
 

 
It's also worth mentioning that the 'coaster is not remotely new: it originally opened in 1997 in Jerudong Park, Brunei, and later bought by Siam Park City second hand in 2005/6, along with a Vekoma Boomerang and a Zamperla Powered Coaster - more on both of these later.
 
As you can see, Vortex did not garner a huge crowd when it first opened for the day...
 

 
...which meant that I was able to take the front row.
 
And to be honest, the ride showed some good promise in the first half, with a good first drop and relatively smooth transition into the initial Roll Over inversion - although the standard SLC "shake rattle and roll" was ever present.
 
However, what did me in was the transition after the Roll Over and before the train dived into the Sidewinder, on a relatively straight piece of track - the whole train just "shunted" and flung me up and forwards out of my seat, such that the bottom of the restraint ended up winding me in my manly area.
 
I didn't enjoy the second half of the ride so much, as I was still smarting after the attack on my nether regions. Ouch.
 

 
Arguably the Park's second headline attraction - and unusually not a rollercoaster - is the imaginitively named log flume, called, er, Log Flume. This featured some impressive rockwork as well as monster lion and tiger statues, and gained the longest queue that I saw all day. It's a long flume featuring both forwards and backwards sections, and plenty of much-needed splashing.
 
I visited the Park during April - the hottest month of the year - where tempurates regularly hit 38°C, and it often feels even hotter due to the humidity. Bangkok in April has to be the most scorching, sticky environment that I've ever been in, and my day at Siam Park City was one such blisteringly hot day. As this website notes, "try and avoid April, unless you plan to be permanently submerged in the ocean...".
 
Needless to say, my ride on Log Flume was much appreciated.
 

 
The Park invested significant sums on building this attraction following a 2007 accident on their previous version of the ride (of unknown manufacturer). 1 woman died and 5 others were injured when a boat crashed off the crest of the drop. The log veered off the edge due to a sudden cut in electrical power, which caused a water pump to fail that controlled the water level of the ride. The ride vehicle fell 20m to the ground from the top of the drop.
 
Rather than try to repair the old ride, the Park scrapped it completely and gave Mack a call, who worked their magic and produced a really cracking replacement.
 

 
Life lesson #62: wherever you go in the world, you're never too far away from a Haystack Dryer.
 

 
On with the tour, and the next large attraction is found close to the Park entrance: a Vekoma Boomerang called, er, Boomerang (there's a pattern here...).
 
This is a standard Vekoma model set amongst some pretty nice landscaping: as was the case with Vortex, the Park clearly present their rides with care and attention - great to see.
 

 
I should caveat what I'm about to say by restating that it really was a blisteringly hot day during my visit to Siam Park City... but...
 
I greyed out on the Boomerang. This has never happened before! So either this particular Boomerang was unusually intense, or my body just really wasn't coping with the heat/Gs that day...
 

 
There are actually 50 Boomerangs in the world - 21 called Boomerang - but this one sports fab retro silver trains with BOOM written on the side
 

 
The third 'coaster of the day was Grand Canyon Express - alas a lot less exciting than the first two 'coasters; a Zamperla Powered model acquired again from Jerudong Park in Brunei.
 
From the outside of the ride it looks another decent, well presented attraction, with impressive rockwork...
 

 
...but when you take a closer look inside you can see that the ride was clearly a terrain 'coaster in its previous life - almost all of the supports are amusingly propped up on large concrete footers. I can't help but feel that more could have been done to disguise these, as the ride looks very odd in its current state!
 
Unfortunately, the ride experience was also pants. It gains points for being a long ride - and the tunnel section is fun - but really is very slow, and very boring.
 

 
Time to take a look around other parts of Siam Park City, which contains plentiful palm trees and a "motorway road sign" approach to Park signage...
 
A standard array of flat rides is on offer, including Enterprise, a Huss Enterprise, Condor, a Huss Condor, and Top Spin, a Huss Top Spin.
 
Unfortunately the Top Spin and Aladdin Magic Carpet ride were both down during my visit, and looked as if they had been under repair for quite some time.
 

 
There is also an indoor area containing less exciting flats, with a distinct aircraft-carrier feel to it.
 

 
And Loop the Loop was definitely not in any fit state to operate, having been closed for at least the past 10 years. It's always a shame to see a SBNO 'coaster, but such was the lax Park security that you could have a sneaky look around the ride station, where the severely dusty - and rusty - train still sits!
 
I later learnt that Loop the Loop is the oldest inverting roller coaster in Southeast Asia and was built shortly after the Park opened in 1980.
 

 
My favourite flat in the Park was actually Giant Drop, which delivered a surprisingly effective punch from its 75m height. And again - no sign of any Asian knock-offs here, this was a legit Intamin model. Lots of fun, thanks to some serious airtime!
 

 
The obligatory Haunted House, Big Double Shock, was also present, which was seemingly so scary that numerous Thai people came running back out of the entrance.
 
I opted not to ride...
 

 
And Siam Park City is not just a Theme Park, but also has a fairly large Water Park attached to the right of it. The tourist Theme Park ticket provides access to both the Theme and Water Park attractions.
 
Its big selling point is the Wave Pool, which is the Guinness World Records-certified largest wave pool in the world at 13,600 sq m. So large is the pool, that the Park owners boast of it being "Bangkok’s inland sea"!
 

 
It also has what is the most hairy water Speed Slide I've ever seen. It doesn't look much, but appearances can be deceptive - the taller red/orange/yellow/green slides are so tall, and so steep, that the average short / light Thai thrill seeker absolutely flies down it, spending more time in the air than on the slide...
 
The splash pool was also eyebrow-raisingly short, meaning that most people nearly splashed into the far side wall of the pool upon landing.
 

 
Serious air time. Serious pain on landing.
 

 
The Water Park also features this collection of Super Spiral slides, noteworthy only because of an accident in 2008 where a joint in one of the slides collapsed, leaving a 1ft hole on the bottom of the final section of flume. 28 children were taken to hospital having fallen 2m down through this hole, to the rocks and plants below.
 
Highly unfortunate, given the Log Flume accident only months earlier, although in this case the Super Spiral ride was repaired, rather than replaced. It's disappointing that Thailand still has no agreed safety standards for Amusement Park operators (unlike say, ADIPS in the UK).
 

 
So, we're about 2/3rds of the way through this Trip Report now, and you've probably been reading for some time. Maybe it's time to take a comfort break?
 
Well, comfort breaks are a little more difficult at Siam Park City, as none of the Park toilets come furnished with any toilet paper. Visitors can choose between either an unappetising long-drop bog or a marginally-more-appetising Western sit-down bog, but neither arrangement will furnish you with any loo roll. Or paper towels. So you are either expected to bring your own toilet paper to this Theme Park, or, well, you're on your own...
 
Anyway - back on with the tour. And at the back of the Park sits one of the more surprisingly impressive attractions. Dinotopia stands proud as a huge building facade set amongst some very pretty plant and flower displays.
 

 
The attraction is split into two halves: one half a semi-dark walkthrough around large motion-sensored dinosaur animatronics. This was well done, with impressive scale and pretty convincing models.
 

 
The second half is slightly less exciting: a "museum" filled with fake dinosaur skeletons and exhibits. It reminded me of an inferior Jurassic Park Discovery Center at Universal's Islands of Adventure.
 

 
And the dinosaur theme didn't stop there, with the Jurassic Adventure ride also a recent investment for the Park - a drive through "Dinosaur Country" in a Jeep. As you can see from the fonts / colours used, there was a fair bit of copyright infringement going on here against the Spielberg film, to the point where the queueline actually had TVs showing The Lost World for the waiting crowd.
 

 
The animatronics and themeing used for this ride were not half as impressive as in Dinotopia, perhaps because they were all housed outdoors (and open to the harsh Thai elements) vs. being sheltered indoors. But the experience was still fun, largely due to the Jeep being "real" and not on a track. A squirty-water dinosaur model halfway round the circuit provided some laughs (and again - much needed rehydration for me...).
 

 
Finally, the last ride of the day was Africa Adventure, also housed near Dinotopia and Jurassic Adventure. This promised a tour around the African savannah in two different ways: either via train, or via boat.
 

 
Naturally I chose the boat which was, like the Jurassic Adventure Jeep, very real and not "tracked" in any way. It was a pretty full boat on my ride, and was unfortunately having difficulty staying afloat - the water level was quite high. I was initially glad to have been handed a life jacket, but as you can see, no-one else thought they would be necessary...
 

 
The ride was good fun, with plenty of animal animatronics along the route. All the classic African montages were in there, including a scene of Lions engaged in an attack on a Gazelle, Elephants filling up at the watering hole...
 

 
...and native tribal people burning a white hunter guy on a cross. Standard fare for any African-themed ride. Oh, and King Kong also made an appearance at the end.
 

 
I'll end with a few shots taken from the top of the Park's 100m-tall rotating observation tower, Siam Park Tower. Not only did this tower provide excellent views of the Park - and further afield into Bangkok - but it was also air conditioned, and for that reason alone easily made it into my top 3 rides at Siam Park City.
 

 
Siam Park City is a solid option for any Theme Park tourist visiting Bangkok. More developed than either of the other two Parks I'd visited in Vietnam, it had clearly benefitted from recent investments in the excellent Log Flume and Africa Adventure, as well as the haul of rides and coasters it had purchased second hand from Brunei.
 
The Park clearly favours established Western ride manufacturers too (Vekoma, Mack, Intamin, Huss), over the cheaper Asian alternatives, and whilst there is little in the way of themeing, the Park is generally very well presented indeed. That said, there were many areas of the Park that looked decidedly worse for wear (entire Loop the Loop area, some of the flats, most of the animatronics, the toilets...), and the Park's safety record is hardly stellar.
 
With Bangkok beating London into 2nd place last year as the most visited tourist city, I can only hope that Siam Park City continues to build on its gate figures from both locals and travellers alike, and I look forward to seeing how it develops...
 
~
 
Comments? Please post below! Next up, and last in the series: Dream World.

Next month, Universal Studios Florida introduce their 'Diagon Alley' expansion to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It sees the headline attraction 'Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts', the Hogwarts Express, as well as numerous shops from the Harry Potter universe.
As to be expected, everyone is excited about the development. However, why should we be so excited? We've got a newly opened area which is much better than Diagon Alley ever could be - Angry Birds Land at Thorpe Park! Travelling all the way to America seems pointless when most of us on this forum can pop down to Thorpe in under a couple of hours to enjoy the delightful Angry Birds Land.
First of all, let's look at the rides and attractions in each area. Angry Birds Land has a 115ft drop tower, perfect for thrill seekers, some fun dodgems, which are perfect for everyone, and a 4D cinema experience, which again is perfect for everyone. So, here, we have a land which caters for all ages - we have a ride which is solely dedicated for a thrill audience.
As far as thrill rides go, Detonator: Bombs Away! is as thrilling as you can get; there's not many better drop towers around after all. Then there's a good set of dodgems. Okay, so dodgems aren't anything special, you can find them anywhere. But people like dodgems, and if people like something, you give it to them! Finally, the 4D experience is clearly something that's been designed for a younger audience, yet it works for everyone. What's most surprising about it is how immersive the attraction felt - it's a film about a set of cartoon birds, who don't speak, trying to get the precious eggs back from some bad pigs. Yet you feel a part of the film, you can create emotional bonds with the birds, and you feel like you're there with them. For a cartoon, that's pretty darn impressive.
Now, Diagon Alley. We have a headline attraction being ride about escaping from a bank. Escaping...from a bank. Just let that sink in for a moment. And this will have loads of goblins scattered about. Not gonna lie, those goblins looked pretty hideous in the films, I imagine they'll look even more hideous in real life. Not exactly a family-friendly thing to have is it? Especially considering this is already a ride about escaping from a bank that you've broken into (great moral values there!). Now, this ride is apparently some epic dark ride/coaster combo. These types of rides are always risks, since some people's expectations can really shape how they react to the ride. Expect a coaster, you may be left unthrilled. Expect a dark ride, you may be left unimmersed. It's a really, really big risk.
Then you've got a train ride linking two parks together. Now, it will of course be more like a 4D experience, and this all sounds well and good. But it's not going to be easy to create a 4D experience about a franchise which already has so much going for it; very difficult to create an emotional link to the story. I have so many concerns.
Then there's also theming. Okay, Angry Birds Land's theming isn't the greatest, and there's room for more. However, let's step back and look at what Diagon Alley's theming will entail. Firstly, there's a dragon that breaths fire. Fantastic. That's better than anything at Angry Birds Land. However, this dragon doesn't move, from the looks of it at least. Talk about unrealistic! What's the point in having a creature for theming if it doesn't move. You're meant to be in a world where a dragon has just escaped; it's not gonna stand still, lording it over everyone else puffing some fire occasionally. It's going to move.
Angry Birds Land's theming at least makes sense; you're in a snapshot of a game, where some birds have just been catapulted, others are about to be, and so forth. It makes perfect sense to the story. Diagon Alley's dragon does not. Then there's all the shop fronts. They're shop fronts from shops in a back alley in London. Where's the excitement in that? The transportation to a whole new world? You can't get that here. It's basically just like walking down a part of London with shops you've never seen before (which isn't exactly difficult). Poor theming really; it's taken realism a step too far.
There's other things as well. Harry Potter is an outdated IP. The last book was released 7 years ago. The last film 3 years ago. Even if it's still popular, and there's a spin off film series on the way, the main Harry Potter IP is outdated. It's got little more than nostalgia now. It's time to let go. Take away the nostalgia and all we have is a kid's story that finished many years ago, and whilst still memorable, should be left alone, instead of picked away until its dignity has gone away. Angry Birds is about to get its second wave of popularity. There's a major film to be released in 2016. Mobile gaming is still huge, and a new game could easily make it to the top in 24 hours. Now that's a popular and current IP for you.
I think that's all I need to get my point across. Harry Potter is an outdated IP, and Diagon Alley is shaping up to be an overhyped dark ride that teaches bad moral values and a 4D experience which could go really well or really badly. Perhaps not the best family area. Angry Birds, however, is a current, popular, IP, with Angry Birds Land having a quality 4D experience and rides for everyone, which everyone will enjoy. It also teaches good moral values (don't steal, fight for what you believe in, yadda yadda yadda). If that's not quality, I don't know what is.
So save your money. Avoid Diagon Alley. Save yourself the disappointment. Take a trip down to Thorpe Park and bask in the greatness that is Angry Birds Land, and smile to yourself that you're in a better place than some hocus pocus area set about robbing a bank. You deserve it.

This is the second in a 4-part series about my travels around Asia earlier this year, and some of the decidedly different Parks I encountered whilst I was there:
 
SuốI Tiên, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Đầm Sen, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Siam Park City, Bangkok, Thailand Dream World, Bangkok, Thailand  
My second Asian Park after the wonderful SuốI Tiên was also located Ho Chi Minh City: Đầm Sen.
 
Part 2: Đầm Sen
 

 
Đầm Sen is located much more centrally in Ho Chi Minh City vs. SuốI Tiên, and could be reached in only 25 mins via taxi from my hotel next to the Sông SàI Gòn river. And unlike SuốI Tiên, it's much more of an Amusement Park than a Theme Park: there is comparatively little in the way of style and decoration vs. its extensive Buddhist-themed brother.
 

 
That said, the Park is far from ugly, with lily pads and flower themeing being the order of the day. This is the entrance to the Park - the Towers Street equivalent, if you will:
 

 
And there's a very good reason for all the flora themeing - Đầm Sen is a circular Park built around a large lake, filled with lily pads, lotus flowers and other plant life. All very pretty - and this view across the lake provides some perspective on scale. Connecting the small pagodas is a walkway across the lake.
 

 
Đầm Sen operates a pay-one-price entry model, with tickets at 130,000 Dong (£3.79). As with much of Asia, it was all exceedingly cheap for a Western tourist. I came for the afternoon and whilst not quite as low as SuốI Tiên attendance levels, the Park was pretty empty the whole time I was there. How do these places survive financially on such low gate figures, with such low entrance prices...?!
 
As you can see, there were very few people around to enjoy the topiaries:
 

 
And now onto the rides: the biggest of them all being Tàu Lỏn Vông Siẻu Tồc / Roller Coaster. This coaster is tucked away in dense foliage in the top-left hand side of the Park, and is quite a walk from the main entrance - I suspect some visitors don't even find it...!
 

 
It's certainly a bigger ride than any at SuốI Tiên, and until a larger version was later built at nearby ĐạI Nam with 4 inversions, Tàu Lỏn Vông Siẻu Tồc / Roller Coaster held the record for having the most inversions in Vietnam with 3 - vertical loop, corkscrew, corkscrew. The ĐạI Nam coaster - built 10 years (2008) after the Đầm Sen version (1998) - is near identical, save for a second vertical loop after the first.
 
Merlin take note: black / brown / grey / white are not the only colours available when painting a roller coaster! This one had green rails, red tubular spine, blue supports and yellow supporting structure.
 

 
If you hadn't already guessed, the ride is an Arrow clone - you can see the corkscrew inversions bearing more than a passing resemblance to the classic Arrow corkscrew designs, with yellow "arch" supports holding the inversions in place. The layout is near-identical to the actual Arrow-designed Corskcrew at Cedar Point; the offending manufacturer at Đầm Sen is likely to be Hebei Zhongye Metallurgical Equipment (although RCDB doesn't know), given that HZME built the later version at ĐạI Nam...
 

 
So how did it ride? Early impressions were not encouraging, with a lengthy wait in the station for the train to completely fill up - the ride operators refused to send the train off without it being completely full. Health and safety or cost saving? I assumed the latter. The waiting time did give me a good 10 minutes to inspect my surroundings though, where I found that the screws holding the back of the seat in front of me in place were so loose and wobbly that they were close to coming out altogether. +1 for maintenance!
 
The ride itself wasn't bad at all - quite intense in places (especially the vertical loop) and not so rough as to be unenjoyable; serious bracing helped a fair bit.
 
I was sat next to a guy from Cambodia - who can't have been any older than 14 - who told me on the lift hill in broken English that this was his first ever roller coaster and he was very nervous to ride. He came off grinning from ear to ear!
 

 
Đầm Sen is also home to Tàu Xoay Cao Tồc / Spinning Coaster, which continues in the great tradition of Asian-clones by emulating the classic Maurer Söhne spinner. I am a big fan of the Maurer spinners - the excellent Tarántula at Parque de Atracciones de Madrid is one of my favourites - so was interested to see how this one would ride.
 
It was built by the almost-ubiquitous Chinese manufacturer Golden Horse, who appear in most Asian Parks with cheaper clones of classic Vekoma, Zamperla and Maurer rides. Alas for Golden Horse, in recent years the original manufacturers have been fighting back, with trademark infringement lawsuits aplenty.
 

 
The ride itself is a pretty standard spinner layout - there are currently 77 standard Golden Horse ZXC-24A models in existence, 76 in Asia - with flat hairpin turns in the first half, and more drops and longer curves in the second half.
 

 
The ride wasn't bad, with a decent amount of spinning and some good drops. However, it all felt a little bit more rattly and unsteady than the Maurer originals, and special mention must be given to the car design: almost identical, save for added seatbelts and the usual Maurer "loop" handle bar having been swapped with a t-bar handle bar, akin to those on a bicycle. When seated in the car, this t-bar sits at about knee-height for your average grown adult, and proved to be very painful indeed...
 
If you've ever ridden Dragon's Fury or Spinball, you'll know that the end of the ride features a fairly brutal "kick" from a long horizontal bar just above track-height which steadies the car and straightens it up. Tàu Xoay Cao Tồc / Spinning Coaster does likewise, although if anything in a more brutal fashion and with little warning, which resulted in both of my knees smashing into the t-bar handle in the centre. I still had brusies days later. Top tip for future riders: do try to sit with your legs as far apart as possible - pinning your knees against the side of the car may help. One go was enough!
 

 
And I've read a few ride restriction boards in my time, but never one that informs guests that "no gamboling... is allowed while riding". Which is a shame, because I was quite keen on starting up a game of blackjack whilst on the hairpin bends.
 

 
Walk further around the lake and you'll find Trò ChơI Rồng Bay / Flying Dragon - a standard Dragon ride much like the indoor Bí Mật Rừng Phù Thủy / Secret of Sorcerer Forest I encountered in SuốI Tiên. However, approaching the station I couldn't find an operator anywhere nearby; not wholly surprising, given the gate figure.
 
After a minute or so of looking around, I found a staff member relaxing a short way from the ride leaning against a tree. She motioned for me to get into the dragon car. Once I was sat down - her still leaning against the nearby tree - she started the ride off using a remote control in her hand! No bar checks or anything, just a press of a button on her remote to set the train in motion. Bizarre.
 

 
The layout itself was a standard Dragon oval, but the train did pick up some decent speed and I got a few goes around the track - pretty fun in all!
 

 
Now time for a bit of a tour around the rest of Đầm Sen. I should say at this point that the Amusement Park is only one half of the attraction: the other half is a Water Park, with a separate gate and separate entry fee. If taking a taxi to Đầm Sen, make sure your driver knows to drop you off at the right entrance...!
 
Whilst I didn't venture into the Water Park, it did look good fun, complete with Kamikaze drop slides, lazy river and recently-installed Boomerang ring slide. It apparently gets very popular at the weekends!
 

 
Other notable structures on Park included this large theatre, which could seat ~300 people. No activity here during my visit, though!
 

 
Đầm Sen also features this colourful (knock-off) Magic Carpet ride - a travelling version permanently installed in the Park...
 

 
...as well as the world's least-scary-looking Haunted House: Lâu ĐàI Kinh Dị / Castle of Horror. Save for the gargoyles and iron gates at the front, this looked more like Cinderella's Castle than Haunted Mansion...!
 

 
There was also a set of marine-themed dodgems: Chính Phục ĐạI Đường / Conquer the Ocean. Alas these were not operational...
 

 
...as was the case with the Park's log flume.
 

 
Onto the last coaster of the day: Vòng Xoáy TuổI Thơ / Childhood Spiral, which was operational! Points go to Đầm Sen for giving the ride a slightly more inspiring name than Roller Coaster or Spinning Coaster.
 
Yes, it's a Big Apple, but it's a Big Apple that shuns the typical, erm, apple - for a watermelon! It was actually quite fast and enjoyable, although fairly rough even though it was just a Big Apple. Further points go to Đầm Sen for letting the foliage around the ride grow to such an extent that the bushes hanging over the base of the lift hill attack even the smallest of riders. Great entertainment.
 

 
Colourful large grasshopper themeing was also a highlight.
 

 
Perhaps the biggest surprise - and highlight - of the whole trip though was Bằng Băng / All Ice, which was an unexpectedly large ice-sculpture house at the top of the lake. Standing / sweating in the humid 30°C Ho Chi Minh heat, even if the sculptures turned out to be unimpressive, I figured this was a very welcome installation indeed.
 
Given that the building had to be kept under sub-zero temperatures, and that most visitors (especially tourists) would not be wearing a great deal, the Park had the sense to provide warm puffer-jacket-style overcoats for guests to put on before entering.
 

 
The sculptures were very impressive indeed: really quite large, nicely lit, and very detailed. This section included a lighthouse and Titanic-style cruise liner. To give some context on size, I'd say the lighthouse was at least twice the height of me - 12ft+!
 

 
Other sculptures included the Greek Parthenon, a Roman Centurion, and a Chinese temple.
 

 
After 10 minutes in Bằng Băng my nose and ears had decided they'd had enough of being in a freezer, so I took the cue to leave and stepped out again into the close evening air. By this time the sun was quickly going down, and the Park showed itself to be very pretty at night, with light installations such as the one below dotted around many of the walkways.
 

 
Only at Đầm Sen: a purple pathway to love...?!
 

 
A quick shout out to the attractive Ferris Wheel sporting a jazzy lighting package...
 

 
...and a final parting shot of the lotus flowers I had passed on my way in - this time lit up like a Disney parade float!
 

 
And with that, I left Đầm Sen and grabbed a taxi to the newly-opened first McDonalds in Vietnam a few km away. Incidentally, McDonalds was absolutely heaving with locals, such that an extensive cattlepen queue had been erected outside the entrance to the restaurant and marshals were struggling to take orders from the crowds over the noise. It seems as if communist Vietnam is slowly seeing Western (capitalist) brands creep into their culture...!
 
As I chomped down on my regional McPork™ burger, I reflected on my time at Đầm Sen: a nice little Park, if a little quiet and under-developed. With some TLC and investment it could really thrive: it has the space to expand and growing affluence in Ho Chi Minh City could provide a customer base with increasing disposable income to tap into. It has been reported recently that some of the rides from the now-defunct Freestyle Music Park in South Carolina, USA, could be heading over to Vietnam: could Đầm Sen be the lucky recipient of the goods...?! That'd do nicely.
 
~
 
Comments? Please post below! Next up: Siam Park City.

Earlier this year I was lucky enough to be travelling around Asia for a couple of months (a mini gap-yah, if you like), and took some small detours from the standard tourist path to visit some Parks. This is the first in a 4-part blog series about my Asia Adventure, which will cover the following Parks:
 
SuốI Tiên, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Đầm Sen, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam Siam Park City, Bangkok, Thailand Dream World, Bangkok, Thailand  
Hopefully the series will highlight some slightly different - and definitely non-Merlin! - Theme Parks that are on offer just 6,000 miles away.
 
Part 1: SuốI Tiên
 

 
SuốI Tiên is located just outside of Ho Chi Minh City; a 45 minute taxi ride despite being only 16 miles from the centre of town. It's the biggest Theme Park near Ho Chi Minh City and city planners are clearly invested in the Park, given that Ho Chi Minh's first metro line is having a station built right outside the entrance of the Park (a $2.8BN project, estimated completion 2017). Despite this, and having been open since 1995, my taxi driver had no idea where it was I wanted to go... so thank goodness for Google Maps and Smartphones.
 

 
SuốI Tiên is one of the most unusual Theme Parks you are likely to visit: it is a Buddhist-themed Park where the attractions and landscaping illustrate Vietnam's history and legends. So as well as Buddhist-themed rollercoasters and dark rides, there are also plenty of Buddhist temples and statues located within the Park walls. And as you'll see in the photos below, the attention to detail in the themeing is second to none. Just take a look at the entrance...
 

 
Entry is 50,000 Dong (£1.47) and then each attraction is at an extra cost, from 5,000 Dong (15p) to 60,000 Dong (£1.75). For 2014 the Park trialled a one-price admission for entry + all attractions at 350,000 Dong (£10.26) - quite reasonable really, but I went for the pay-per-ride option nonetheless.
 
Before we go any further, it's worth saying at this point that the Park was absolutely dead. I counted maybe 50 guests inside it throughout my whole day, and the Park is not that small - roughly half the size of Alton Towers' sprawling grounds. There were at least 5 times as many staff visible as there were guests in the Park - so either this was an "off" day and the Park recoups the cost from much busier days, or the Park is otherwise propped up by the state... anyway, the Park felt even more deserted than my visit to Lightwater Valley on a rainy April Sunday in 2012, and that's saying something.
 
Onwards with the tour: once through the entrance gates, the elaborate themeing continues. Move over Mickey and Pluto: this Park's mascots are the dragon, unicorn, tortoise and phoenix:
 

 
It's a very pretty Park, with nods to Buddhist culture at every turn. Alas I never once saw this Ferris Wheel (CốI Xoay Của Thần Gió / Rotating Wind Spirit) move during the day - highly likely due to the lack of riders...
 

 
This elaborate entrance leads not to any attraction, but rather a large Buddhist shrine (Long Hoa Thiên Bảo).
 

 
And here's the temple itself, Long Hoa Thiên Bảo.
 

 
This dragon looks like it could be the centrepiece to a flat ride or similar, but is actually just another elaborate themeing setpiece for the Park (Tứ Linh HộI Tụ / 4 Sacred Animals) that guests can walk around.
 

 
SuốI Tiên also contains a saltwater waterpark (Biển Tiên Đồng / Fairy At Sea), which includes slides and a kids area. As you can see, it wasn't open...
 

 
OK, enough with Park overview - onto the Trip Report. I started the day by doing the Vương Quốc Cá Sấu / Crocodile United Nations, which was unashamedly a lake filled with crocodiles with a walkway positioned slightly above it. Completely safe.
 

 
The Park advertise this as the "territory of the swamp lord", with over 100 crocs in the water. Mostly they were escaping the 30°C heat by chilling out on the sides or submerging themselves underwater.
 

 
And as it was a Vietnamese Park, for 20,000 Dong (59p) you could dangle a piece of chicken over at the crocodiles to feed/bait them as desired. I didn't do this, but did watch the only 2 other Western tourists in the Park have a go. Needless to say the crocodiles got a little fiesty.
 

 
Having escaped the territory of the swamp lord, I decided it was time to give the Park's signature thrill ride a go - Tàu Lượn Siêu Tốc / High Speed Roller Coaster. This was a large sit-down coaster with a non-inverting track that shuttled around the Park's main lake. I'd only seen a train complete the circuit once in my time at the Park so far, and now understood why - the ride required at least 4 people to operate. I have no idea whether this was a commercial or safety-based decision by the Park, but it meant that I needed to find 3 others willing to get on with me in order to get the train dispatched.
 
Alas, I couldn't find anyone. Honestly. I even offered to pay the ride operator (in my best Vietnamese) for 4 tickets (60,000 Dong / £1.76 each) myself, but she insisted that I needed 3 others. Thankfully at this point the 2 guys from the Crocodile United Nations were walking past the ride, and after a quick negotiation agreed to join me. We later found a fourth rider near the Dolphin Show / Cá Heo và Sư Tử Biển (which never put on a performance due to - you guessed it - a lack of audience) and we were set for a spin on Vietnam's longest roller coaster.
 

 
The trains for the ride were a little odd - the seats looked like they'd been taken from a second hand car, and the restraints included both an over-shoulder seat belt and a silver OTSR. Only after the train had left the station and was ascending up the lift hill did I check the OTSR to find that it didn't lock - I could both fully lift the silver harness up and unbuckle the seat belt. Excellent.
 

 
The lift hill itself took a good 2 minutes to climb, thanks to the tyre-powered mechanism trying its best to get the train to the top. It was clear that the tyres were so worn that the train wasn't being gripped tightly enough to pull it up quickly, resulting in a lot of slippage and a very slow ascent!
 

 
The ride itself was good fun, although I spent most of it hugging my OTSR with both arms hoping that I wouldn't fall out. It was a relatively smooth affair though, and even included a fun shuttle through an artificial mountain.
 

 
Having disembarked, I saw that the Park were making some pretty bold claims in their advertising for the ride - a 200kmph top speed! I'm no expert, but the ride didn't feel as if it were 50% faster than Thorpe's Stealth (80mph/130kmph)... I doubt if it topped 50mph to be honest...
 

 
Onto coaster #2 - Bí Mật Rừng Phù Thủy / Secret of Sorcerer Forest. There are few hints that this building houses a coaster - it was only because I asked around that I came to find it. The beginning part of the attraction is a short walkthrough, which was actually quite unnerving as a solo traveller. To the right of the entrance below is a long pitch-black pathway, themed around a forest. Hidden sensors trigger various noisy animatronics, which seemingly light up out of nowhere. Further on in the walkthrough is a surprising shuddering floor effect, which in the darkness made me scream involuntarily. And once you get to the station of the ride itself, you see that after all of this buildup, it's actually just a basic powered Dragon ride. Talk about anti-climax!
 

 
The ride itself was - as the rest of the Park - themed very impressively with trees, foliage and sorcerers, which more than made up for the fact that the track layout was a standard oval.
 

 
Other attractions around the Park included this large aircraft-hangar filled with kiddie rides.
 

 
And larger thrill rides are hidden next to the Rotating Wind Spirit Ferris Wheel, including a Disk'O which I'm fairly sure isn't a Zamperla original...
 

 
This facade looks innocent from the outside, but houses Kim Lân Sơn Xuất Thế / Palace of Unicorns, which is a walkthrough attraction depicting the many stages of Buddhist Hell. The two crocodile-baiting Westerners from earlier told me that the attraction is immaculately themed but really quite violent and disturbing inside, using animatronics to portray gory Buddhist punishments for various offences, including drug addiction, gambling, and adultery. Think dismembered body parts and occasional jump-scares. I gave it a miss.
 

 
And new for 2014 was - wait for it - Lâu ĐàI Phép Thuật Harry Potter / The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Yes, in the middle of Vietnam's authentically Buddhist Theme Park sits possibly the most incongruous new attraction they could have built. I think they just threw away the concept for this one and went for a crowd pleaser...
 

 
Does Universal know that this exists? Do they care? Probably not. The attraction was hardly a competitor to the real Wizarding World, being just a glorified haunted house walkthrough with Daniel Radcliffe's face stuck on the front. And although the exterior was substantial, the inside was less impressive. I walked through 7 rooms in total, one for each of the books in the Harry Potter series, with standard ghost/witch/goblin statues popping out from all sides. There may have been an actor in there as well grabbing legs and shoulders as I walked past - who knows. Very little connection to the Harry Potter stories overall; the most startling moment came from a noisy dementor (possibly?) that flew overhead on a wire at great speed and nearly clocked me on the head.
 
My overall feeling was that it was a shame that SuốI Tiên spent money on this, given how out-of-place it looks compared to the rest of the Park. Last time I checked Harry didn't have a whole lot to do with the Buddhist tradition. It may have yet saved itself if the quality was in line with the rest of the Park, but alas...
 

 
Remember book 5? It's the Oder of the Pheonix!
 

 
As you can see, just like the films...
 

 
That said, it's good to see the Park continuing to invest - especially given that I have no idea where they're getting any money from. And it was clear that there was more to come both this year and next, with more construction happening by the indoor kiddie area. Notice that there is little to no protection of the public from the building work - I could just walk right on through!
 

 
Also in the pipeline is Đĩa Bay Hành Tinh Lạ / Alien Flying Disk...
 

 
...and Phât Địa Mẫu / Buddha Model, another Buddhist themed set piece.
 

 
And with that, it was nearing 6pm and the Park was shutting down for the day. I'd had a really unique experience here - nothing like any other Park I'd been to. Exquisitely themed (for the most part), strong religious themes running throughout and with some genuinely different attractions. It was just a shame there wasn't a higher gate figure; at times walking through the Park was a bit like touring an abandoned school - a bit creepy.
 

 
So how to sum up SuốI Tiên? "Buddhist nirvana"? "Disney on acid"? "Plain strange"?
 
SuốI Tiên is - at least in my experience - pretty incomparable as a concept. It's clearly taken a huge pot of cash to develop the Park in such an elaborate and large scale way, and I would encourage anyone visiting Ho Chi Minh City to take a trip out to District 9 to have a look around, because it's just so different. You can't help but smile at the colourful bizarreness of the place!
 
~
 
Comments? Please post below! Next up: Đầm Sen.

It's been a long 14 years since my first trip to Phantasialand and despite my love affair with the park when I visited in 2006, It hadn't been a park on my radar to revisit. All it took though was a read of Benin's August trip report, some willing volunteers with the cash and just like that, it was off to Germany. For those that have never been, getting to the park is as easy as pie and incredibly cheap. I heartedly recommend it, despite having to fly on Easyjet at 7:05 in the morning as the train/bus system in Germany gets you to the park in less then an hour from the airport.
For less then £200 we got two nights in Hotel Matamba, two days on the park and two fastracks for each of us. One thing we concluded on the trip was that the park is amazing value. Sure, it is one of the more expensive parks in Europe to get into but for the quality of ride you get and the cheapness in the park itself (5 euros for on ride photos, meals at fast food resauraunts for less then 8 euros, even better cocktails in the bar were cheap for European standards).
With us all checked into the stunning Matamba (it really is stunning) we were off to the park. Despite some of the quality attractions held within, there is an aspect to the park that is stuck within the eighties. The entrance for instance is quite basic for example and doesn't look like it's seen any changes since the park opened. Reminded us of Epcot. We decided for our first ride would be the 2006 inverter, Black Mamba. Back when it first opened I thought it was a fantastic piece of work with a fast, intense ride cacooned within some intricate, detailed and beautiful theming. I'm happy to report, time has been kind to this ride and we all thoroughly enjoyed our rides. I disagree deeply with Benin on his analysis of the ride however. This is no Silver Bullet or Inferno that peeters out heavily at the end, this is a ride that maintains its intensity, speed and enjoyment from start to finish. The four inversions are taken right at the start of the ride, almost to get them out of the way quickly. The ride then takes on three high speed helices which I found pretty intense as the ride was running so well. I was even surprised to find a nice pop of air time as the ride dips into the first helix. The general ambience of the ride is the greatest of any B&M out there with only Oz'Iris giving any real competition. The level of detail is franklyy stunning so even if you aren't a fan of the ride itself, the theming and feel of the ride more then makes up for it. My only criticism is the aggressive staff. One actually pushed me backwards causing me to hit my head on the top of the train. Completely unnecessary on a walk on, one train operated ride.




With the Biting ride done, we headed to the new for 2013 but actually opened in 2014 ride, Chiapas. First and foremost, this is for me, is the most beautiful ride in Europe. Everything about it has been designed to the nth degree. From the surrounding pathways which afford great views of the ride, to the queueline and ride itself intertwined so perfectly into a neat little package, there is nothing else quite like it. Even the queue itself, with the batching lanes being divided into fastpass, single riders, groups of twos and everyone else shows that thought has been put into how this ride is operationally run. Well it's top level and shows effort unmatched by anywhere else. But what about the ride itself? I have never come across a water ride run in such a precise and technically perfect way anywhere. Intamin have worked magic here with the different ride systems running perfectly in sync so that the ride show never feels under threat by the ride mechanics. The backwards room in particular is a highlight as is the final drop that feels far steeper and longer then it looks. Everyone comes off of this ride with a smile because it's fun. I in general hate Log flumes, but this goes to the top of my class and is easily my favourite water ride.


Talocan was our next ride. I've never done a floorless top spin before as the one at Knotts was closed on my visit. Suffice to say, the theming and ride show really helps to push Talocan as a top tier attraction because the ride itself isn't as grand as everything else around it. That being said, this was one of the better ride cycles I've done but I still can't rate this as high as other much more appropriate and interesting flat rides. The restrain in particular was slightly odd as the bottom has a nice sharp pointy bit that could cause a lot of men to be unable to have children in the future. You have been warned.


Back in 2000, Colorado was the main attraction if you like. Now, with Mamba, Winjas and Chiapas to help lighten the load, Colorado Adventure takes president as the main family rollercoaster on site. And it truly is a wonderful Vekoma mine train. The only real problem for it though is the first part of the ride. With the removal of other attractions and the addition of Chiapas, half of the indoor area has been removed exposing the ride itself. The job is clearly half finished as well as corregated steel sticks out over pathways and the shed area is completely on show. Which is a true shame as it ruins the illusion that this is a western themed ride. Luckily the ride after the second lift hill is intact and what follows in the dark is hair-raising. Truly scary with the ride jerking you around back and forth and you have no idea where you are going. Part of Colorados charm is that it can go from sedate little mine train to throwing you back and forth with no warning. The final helix in particular is excellent. I felt like I was dying or about to. It's fantastic.

On our travels we took on the omnimover which can be descibed as Chinese Haunted Mansion. It's main flaw was that it was way to light in there at one point the view is solely a fire exit, illuminated up all nicely for your pleasure. River Quest followed which is a terrifying experience for all involved and makes it the only rapids ride that I'm not a fan off. We next ventured onto Mystery Castle which was terrifying as a 12 year old, but completely underwhelming as an adult. I like the idea of all of us strapped to the castle walls but the ride itself isn't scary enough. Nice concept blown by a rather blase ride.

With this side of the park done, we went over to the Berlin and Wuze Town. Our first port of call was Winjas, the Maurer spinners featuring trick track. I was suitably impressed with Fear in particular but this time I was a bit more warey. When it comes to spinning rides, I expect a little bit of spinning but these two don't spin too well. Fear I found was better at it but both have a severe lack of it. The other thing is the trick track of the see saw and moving track kind of threaten the flow of the ride, they break the pacing and the rhythm. Thankfully, Fear has a surprise immelman.

With Phantasialand, there is a real drop on quality on this side of the park probably to do with its location near local housing. Temple of the Knight Hawk is a dismal attempt at a Space Mountain rip off. It doesn't impress and left 'Fred', Dan9 and Tom feeling ill. The problem is it just isn't interesting enough and just goes round and round almost bored of itself. A similar effect can be felt on the Hollywood Ride, a rather dismal attempt at evoking Hollywood glamour but just coming across as cheap and run down. Sad and terrible is the only words I can use to describe it as. We tried on other rides in the area such as the Splash Battle which features no splash battling and nothing to really aim at, no effects whatsoever. We also tried out the Race to Atlantis which might have been good back in the eighties but is no longer relevant. Pirates 4D was a nice kick back to Thorpe when it was an up and coming theme park in the 2000's and the final ride to really talk about is Maus de Chocolat. I don't like the shooting system really in the same way that I don't like Toy Story Manias shooting style. I just can't get the hang of it which means I always lose. Sad times. I love the theming around it even if it is just a Ratatouille film rip off.
So thats the theme park. A wonderful place to visit with half the park being ahead of the game and the other half sadly lacking. Luckily, the awesomeness of Mamba, Chiapas and Colorado really stick in the mind. The management here know what they're doing and it's a joy to visit. I recommend staying at Matamba as well, with a true ambience and joy to it. I even tried Zebra in the hotel restauraunt.


A yummy Black Mamba cocktail!
Thanks foe reading.

Last year, a new, independent, scare company burst onto the scene - Twisted Attractions. Opening up in Birmingham in a disused nightclub, 'The Morgue: Live' caught the attention of many people, and got amazing reviews from the scare industry. Fastforward to May this year, and Twisted Attractions had moved to an old warehouse, bigger than the nightclub, with 'The Facility'. The reviews of The Morgue caught my attention, and upon hearing about The Facility, I really wanted to go try it out, but alas, I couldn't for a variety of reasons.
After The Facility closed, it was announced that two new attractions would open in its place for Halloween - 'House of Insomnia' and 'Ward 78'. And, well, I just had to go try it out. And that's just what I did tonight, on the opening night! I arrived just before the 7pm opening and after a slight delay due to some actors being caught in traffic (to which they offered free tea or coffee whilst we waited), it was time for the scares to begin...
NB: I'll give a review of both mazes in the order I did them - I'll do a non-spoiler review followed by a spoiler review (in spoiler tags).
Ward 78
Ward 78 is very different to most scare attractions, in that it's designed to be done either by yourself or in a group of two. Essentially, the maze involves you going through a Victorian hospital ward where, of course, not all is well. The website describes it as follows:

After being told the instructions and signing a waiver, I was given my candle (one of the electronic torch-like ones, not a real one!) and ventured down the hospital corridor...
Non-spoilers:
The maze involves a lot of tight spaces, loud noises and disorientation. Being by yourself already leaves you on edge and the actors take advantage of it; they like to bully you! After a while, my candle was taken from me, leaving me seemingly without hope. This actually turned out to be near the end of the attraction, which involved some nice trickery and a lot of special effects.
Spoilers:
So, all in all, a fun scare attraction. It makes good use of scare tactics and special effects, but I think it was a bit on the short side and needed a bit more to it.

The entrance/exit. Image from ScareTOUR.
House of Insomnia
House of Insomnia is more of a traditional maze; you go through in groups, though there's no need for hands-on-shoulders. The vague idea is about a pair of twins in lived in a house who essentially went crazy due to mistreatment from their parents, lack of sleep and whatnot (from what I understood) at least. Here's what the website says...

Non-spoilers:
The maze starts with an introduction to the story, telling you about the Demurrer Twins. Very nice idea and from what I heard, very cleverly done, however, there was noise bleed from inside the attraction, making it difficult to hear. After that, we ventured into the maze.
The maze is quite possibly the best themed maze I've done - lots of details and consistent storytelling theming about. Each scene follows from the previous and usually builds upon it. The maze is again very claustrophobic and makes great use of a small space. The actors are very well placed and each add to the story line - there's no 'random' actors or anything. The ending isn't particular special and is something that has been done before (indeed, I don't think it's a spoiler to say what the end is, since it's rather obvious from outside, but alas, I shall not say here...). Nonetheless, still very good.
Spoilers:
Overall, House of Insomnia was a very good attraction, again making brilliant use of scare tactics, tight spaces, creating a great story and some top-notch theming. I think the fact that people quickly ended up holding onto one another, even though you weren't required to have your hands on shoulders, shows how unnerving the attraction can be. In fact, the girl being me was seemingly clinging onto my shirt for dear life!

Entrance to House of Insomnia - taken from ScareTOUR.
It's hard for me to compare these two attractions to their previous ones, but I personally think that the creating of two attractions may have been a bad thing. The Facility was one attraction in the same place as these two, and had a Face it Alone feature as well. Instead, they've created two separate attractions, a Face it Alone one which feels like it needs to be longer and have more substance, and an 'ordinary' attraction which should go on a bit longer. Maybe it just needs more time to settle; who knows? However, I guess I shouldn't really complain when I really enjoyed both attractions!
For anyone interested, the cost of both the attractions was £12 (though it goes to £14 on peak days) and I definitely think it's worth every penny! The main issue is of course getting to it, but if you're near Birmingham at some point when Twisted Attractions are running a show, definitely give it a try (they're about a 10-15min walk from Birmingham New Street train station).
A link to ScareTOUR's review, where I got the photos from - http://www.scaretouruk.com/review---halloween-scream-nights-by-twisted-attractions.html
So yeah, all in all, some great scare attractions from an independent company who only have good things for their future!

Last year, a new, independent, scare company burst onto the scene - Twisted Attractions. Opening up in Birmingham in a disused nightclub, 'The Morgue: Live' caught the attention of many people, and got amazing reviews from the scare industry. Fastforward to May this year, and Twisted Attractions had moved to an old warehouse, bigger than the nightclub, with 'The Facility'. The reviews of The Morgue caught my attention, and upon hearing about The Facility, I really wanted to go try it out, but alas, I couldn't for a variety of reasons.
After The Facility closed, it was announced that two new attractions would open in its place for Halloween - 'House of Insomnia' and 'Ward 78'. And, well, I just had to go try it out. And that's just what I did tonight, on the opening night! I arrived just before the 7pm opening and after a slight delay due to some actors being caught in traffic (to which they offered free tea or coffee whilst we waited), it was time for the scares to begin...
NB: I'll give a review of both mazes in the order I did them - I'll do a non-spoiler review followed by a spoiler review (in spoiler tags).
Ward 78
Ward 78 is very different to most scare attractions, in that it's designed to be done either by yourself or in a group of two. Essentially, the maze involves you going through a Victorian hospital ward where, of course, not all is well. The website describes it as follows:

After being told the instructions and signing a waiver, I was given my candle (one of the electronic torch-like ones, not a real one!) and ventured down the hospital corridor...
Non-spoilers:
The maze involves a lot of tight spaces, loud noises and disorientation. Being by yourself already leaves you on edge and the actors take advantage of it; they like to bully you! After a while, my candle was taken from me, leaving me seemingly without hope. This actually turned out to be near the end of the attraction, which involved some nice trickery and a lot of special effects.
Spoilers:
So, all in all, a fun scare attraction. It makes good use of scare tactics and special effects, but I think it was a bit on the short side and needed a bit more to it.

The entrance/exit. Image from ScareTOUR.
House of Insomnia
House of Insomnia is more of a traditional maze; you go through in groups, though there's no need for hands-on-shoulders. The vague idea is about a pair of twins in lived in a house who essentially went crazy due to mistreatment from their parents, lack of sleep and whatnot (from what I understood) at least. Here's what the website says...

Non-spoilers:
The maze starts with an introduction to the story, telling you about the Demurrer Twins. Very nice idea and from what I heard, very cleverly done, however, there was noise bleed from inside the attraction, making it difficult to hear. After that, we ventured into the maze.
The maze is quite possibly the best themed maze I've done - lots of details and consistent storytelling theming about. Each scene follows from the previous and usually builds upon it. The maze is again very claustrophobic and makes great use of a small space. The actors are very well placed and each add to the story line - there's no 'random' actors or anything. The ending isn't particular special and is something that has been done before (indeed, I don't think it's a spoiler to say what the end is, since it's rather obvious from outside, but alas, I shall not say here...). Nonetheless, still very good.
Spoilers:
Overall, House of Insomnia was a very good attraction, again making brilliant use of scare tactics, tight spaces, creating a great story and some top-notch theming. I think the fact that people quickly ended up holding onto one another, even though you weren't required to have your hands on shoulders, shows how unnerving the attraction can be. In fact, the girl being me was seemingly clinging onto my shirt for dear life!

Entrance to House of Insomnia - taken from ScareTOUR.
It's hard for me to compare these two attractions to their previous ones, but I personally think that the creating of two attractions may have been a bad thing. The Facility was one attraction in the same place as these two, and had a Face it Alone feature as well. Instead, they've created two separate attractions, a Face it Alone one which feels like it needs to be longer and have more substance, and an 'ordinary' attraction which should go on a bit longer. Maybe it just needs more time to settle; who knows? However, I guess I shouldn't really complain when I really enjoyed both attractions!
For anyone interested, the cost of both the attractions was £12 (though it goes to £14 on peak days) and I definitely think it's worth every penny! The main issue is of course getting to it, but if you're near Birmingham at some point when Twisted Attractions are running a show, definitely give it a try (they're about a 10-15min walk from Birmingham New Street train station).
A link to ScareTOUR's review, where I got the photos from - http://www.scaretouruk.com/review---halloween-scream-nights-by-twisted-attractions.html
So yeah, all in all, some great scare attractions from an independent company who only have good things for their future!

Welcome to the theatre. Please take your seats, the show is about to begin!


This will definitely be the Big One.

Orchestra ready!

Water effects ready!

It's time to...

Immerse your senses in the biggest spectacular of all time!

The 4D experience with a Blackpool Tower Post Show!

It's a small world from up here. Only the most realistic effects are used within this show.

Quick the bad guys have arrived! (sorry I didn't have time to finish this set off)

Vikings are bad guys with a hatred for pirates.

A fight scene so early on you ask? The ending won't be that good so it's okay.

Take to your horses

And ride away like brave cowards.

Watch out for the flying dog though!

NOT SHAUN

Dora has finished exploring though and finally saves the day!

And all is calm in Lancashire Town Play once more.

Too quiet for Wallace and Gromit...

Streak away!

And no, this isn't a family friendly play.

Because we have the biggest big one

Impossible speed effects being used

But don't worry, we have lights

Waltzer

Pleasure!

Sorry about the lack of intervals. The show loses speed if it takes a break.

Like it's just trying to fill time

The interval would be boring anyway. Would definitely try and kill you.
Time for the sparkling dazzling all glitzing finale!

Tadah.

Here comes the staff bus to take all the alcoholics who wrote this beautiful production home.

BYE!

Come back next year or we'll come get you...

Day 7 – Phantastic Part 1
My last visit to Phantasialand was 6 years ago, which in some cases doesn’t tend to mean a whole lot has changed. However, here, pretty much every single area had something different about it, be it from an addition of some flat rides in Wuze Town, to replacing some tatty old Flumes, or in several cases, the rides simply don’t exist anymore. Lots of change, but would I still like the park?
We parked in the China car park (due to limited space, there are several car parks, one for each area), purchased our two day ticket for the awful price of €75 (a day ticket is €45) and entered the park.


Phantasialand have one of those weird staggered ride openings, with the park opening at 9, some rides opening at 9:30, then more at 10 before the remainder (water rides) open at 11. So the first ride of the day was some B&M goodness in Black Mamba.
Totally forgotten one of the best things in Phantasialand are the queues (unless it’s Winjas’). Mamba’s goes on such an adventure with some decent ride based interaction, and the station is so well themed and beautiful. The ride itself starts fantastically but ends poorly, always has done to me, because I just don’t think the helixes are powerful enough to finish up the ride in a constant fashion. I partly think that they could’ve chucked in the final inversion at the end (a la Nemesis, the clear inspiration for the ride), rather than just turn after turn. Prevents it from being a real top tier B&M, but it’s still a fantastic ride.




We headed over towards Wuze Town to wait until it opened, whilst I marvelled at the (new to me) entrance area. We were greeted by a dragon which proceeded to do silly things and even drop the rope to open the area. Great piece of interaction.



So off we went to the Winjas coasters. Starting with Force and then Fear, I do enjoy these two a lot, with Fear clearly being the better of the two coasters. The interaction when both are running properly (which they weren’t unfortunately) is brilliant, and the trick track sections can be very surprising for first time riders. The queue has changed nowadays so not only can you take your bag with you, but also the queue splits on the stairs down into the station. Of course this does mean a massive waste of queue space nowadays, but oh well.




After both were done, we quickly did the Tittle Tattle Tree, because it’s secretly fab.





Next door is Temple of the Night Hawk, a Vekoma MK-200 which has had its entrance moved since my last visit, and it involves a steep hill. The ride itself is long, arduous and boring when there are no effects working on it, coupled with 3 slow lift hills. Give me Vogel Rok anyday.

We then headed back towards the entrance and Maus au Chocolat, the immensely themed and fantastic Midway Mania rip-off. The theming right from the door is top standard, like most of Phantasialand’s stuff, but it just keeps getting better and better. I’ve never known a ride queue to make me so damn hungry just by queuing for it, probably helped by the wafts of chocolate scented through.
Hadn’t done a Midway Mania ride till now, and I do like the concept quite well, especially when it’s as heavily detailed as this. A big bonus is the theming between scenes, which from POVs appears to be the biggest flaw of MM. Overall it’s a really good dark ride, and probably the best dark ride we did over the course of the holiday.






A giant waffle happened.

Now it was time for Chiapas, to which I was quite hyped up for. Chiapas looks to be the perfect modern variant on the Log Flume situation, and whilst the issues with the ride system were plentiful (year long delay for opening, because Intamin), would it provide an excellent experience?
The answer is yes.
Although the boats are pretty claustrophobic and small (combined with the lapbar), the ride system itself is intelligent and insanely fast at sorting things out. The drops are all good fun and provide a suitable level of wetness and of course the best part of the entire ride is the Backwards Disco scene. IMAScore’s music perfectly fits the adventure vibe the park were going for as well, especially as the music constantly changes note and style throughout the ride, and the catchy tune gets into EVERYONE’S head. Would love to see Towers look into this as a viable replacement for their Flume, it’s that good.









It was then time for Talocan, which is still one of the more intense Top Spins around. Still fortunate to always get the front side of it as well, so no rubbish wall for me, always go for the water and the fire effects of awesome. It’s a shame really that the modern ones don’t seem to have taken off for Huss, perhaps because every park in the world already owned one of the originals? There might be a park in the UK that could do with one of these mind.



It was show time, and we started with Seiben, which was a pretty awesome magic show with weird gothic plot and stuff. Magic is always in the showmanship I feel, and the guy was very showy with the work, and some of the tricks were pretty much “HOW?!” aside from the time when he knocked on the fake mirror in two places and they made two distinct sounds. Still fab.


We then had lunch whilst watching the Chinese Acrobats, to which we’d kinda had our fill of already in the trip. Ah well, we learnt that Currywurst is actually fab, a far more interesting thing indeed.
As the weather was reasonably rubbish, it made perfect sense to go on River Quest. Probably the most unique Rapids ride in that it just features special sections rather than anything resembling actual Rapids. It’s quite similar to Bagatelle’s rapids in a way, in that on an overall scale they are brilliant rapids rides, but on a water ride scale they’re both very good. Terrifyingly wet to boot as well, mainly due to the old cheese wedge boat design, allowing water to appear from pretty much wherever the hell it wants to.



Drying out times required, a task which fell to Mystery Castle, one of the best drop towers around as well as one of the best themed queuelines. The bonus addition of random actors is also quite a cool thing, especially when they’re making full use of the fact that the ride was a walk-on. The ride is still great fun too, with the long climb and descent mid-way through the cycle being the real highlight of it all. Shame that there’s not too many of these ride types around as a result to be quite honest.



The final dark ride was Feng Ju Palace, a Vekoma Madhouse that’s not very good. Whilst it removes the whole language barrier issue, the plot is very boring, the pre-show takes forever and the effects in the ride section aren’t very good. Big old meh.


The final cred of the day was Colorado Adventure, a Vekoma Mine Train of many lifts and many sheds. It’s still good fun mind, though it’s weird that the first shed is very much in pieces due to the Silver Mine removal, so half of it is now in the light. The mountain drop by Black Mamba is excellent as well, probably only beaten by Paris’ BTM in the Mine Train stakes.





Within Colorado’s final helix these days lies Tikal, a double bill of kiddie spinny drop towers which are always a good laugh. These ones also had an epic detail in their theming, as they are themed to water pumps and every time the ride drops, a water pipe is activated. Love details like that.


We headed back to the Entrance Plaza, catching one of their mini street shows along the way, before it was time for Hotel Tartuff, a Fun House. It was amazing, the theming was generally fantastic throughout, lots of random stuff going on, random live actor and topped off with a giant slide (though it lost points for needing to take shoes off). So, so fab.









Wellenflug, the Chairswings were next with their epic fountain related times before we watched another street show which was brilliant. Some random dog kept barking at one of the actors and they kept losing it as a result, I like shows that allow for a bit of added actions as opposed to always being the same.






Some re-rides were called for, so we Chiapas as we’d just finally dried off from River Quest before heading back to Black Mamba. Whilst we were in the station boarding the ride however, someone decided that it was time for rain of the heaviest variety. Resulting in a very painful ride and a very busy exit pathway as a result. We eventually broke out to make it back to the Berlin earlier, watched the storm develop for a bit, before joining lots of people in Maus au Chocolat. By the time we’d exited the rain had fortunately let up.







The day ended with Drakkarium, their major end of day show by the main entrance. It’s very weird it must be said, with several of the dragon characters turning up in massively epic designed floats/chariots with supporting costumed characters. Then it has random stunt people doing generic stuff. I cannot help but feel this is a really big missed opportunity overall, though I doubt it was helped by the rains descending upon us once more and forcing the show to finish early, so we took our leave and made a break for it ourselves.










Phantasialand is fantastic. It has the theming; it has a solid ride line-up and it’s generally just fab. I’d really forgotten how good the park was originally, and the changes they’ve made over the past few years have been completely for the better. Hopefully they’ll keep pushing forwards with redevelopments (so excited for the Mystery area one) and replacing the older rides in addition to that expansion they’re aiming for.
A top tier European park.

Next month, Universal Studios Florida introduce their 'Diagon Alley' expansion to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It sees the headline attraction 'Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts', the Hogwarts Express, as well as numerous shops from the Harry Potter universe.
As to be expected, everyone is excited about the development. However, why should we be so excited? We've got a newly opened area which is much better than Diagon Alley ever could be - Angry Birds Land at Thorpe Park! Travelling all the way to America seems pointless when most of us on this forum can pop down to Thorpe in under a couple of hours to enjoy the delightful Angry Birds Land.
First of all, let's look at the rides and attractions in each area. Angry Birds Land has a 115ft drop tower, perfect for thrill seekers, some fun dodgems, which are perfect for everyone, and a 4D cinema experience, which again is perfect for everyone. So, here, we have a land which caters for all ages - we have a ride which is solely dedicated for a thrill audience.
As far as thrill rides go, Detonator: Bombs Away! is as thrilling as you can get; there's not many better drop towers around after all. Then there's a good set of dodgems. Okay, so dodgems aren't anything special, you can find them anywhere. But people like dodgems, and if people like something, you give it to them! Finally, the 4D experience is clearly something that's been designed for a younger audience, yet it works for everyone. What's most surprising about it is how immersive the attraction felt - it's a film about a set of cartoon birds, who don't speak, trying to get the precious eggs back from some bad pigs. Yet you feel a part of the film, you can create emotional bonds with the birds, and you feel like you're there with them. For a cartoon, that's pretty darn impressive.
Now, Diagon Alley. We have a headline attraction being ride about escaping from a bank. Escaping...from a bank. Just let that sink in for a moment. And this will have loads of goblins scattered about. Not gonna lie, those goblins looked pretty hideous in the films, I imagine they'll look even more hideous in real life. Not exactly a family-friendly thing to have is it? Especially considering this is already a ride about escaping from a bank that you've broken into (great moral values there!). Now, this ride is apparently some epic dark ride/coaster combo. These types of rides are always risks, since some people's expectations can really shape how they react to the ride. Expect a coaster, you may be left unthrilled. Expect a dark ride, you may be left unimmersed. It's a really, really big risk.
Then you've got a train ride linking two parks together. Now, it will of course be more like a 4D experience, and this all sounds well and good. But it's not going to be easy to create a 4D experience about a franchise which already has so much going for it; very difficult to create an emotional link to the story. I have so many concerns.
Then there's also theming. Okay, Angry Birds Land's theming isn't the greatest, and there's room for more. However, let's step back and look at what Diagon Alley's theming will entail. Firstly, there's a dragon that breaths fire. Fantastic. That's better than anything at Angry Birds Land. However, this dragon doesn't move, from the looks of it at least. Talk about unrealistic! What's the point in having a creature for theming if it doesn't move. You're meant to be in a world where a dragon has just escaped; it's not gonna stand still, lording it over everyone else puffing some fire occasionally. It's going to move.
Angry Birds Land's theming at least makes sense; you're in a snapshot of a game, where some birds have just been catapulted, others are about to be, and so forth. It makes perfect sense to the story. Diagon Alley's dragon does not. Then there's all the shop fronts. They're shop fronts from shops in a back alley in London. Where's the excitement in that? The transportation to a whole new world? You can't get that here. It's basically just like walking down a part of London with shops you've never seen before (which isn't exactly difficult). Poor theming really; it's taken realism a step too far.
There's other things as well. Harry Potter is an outdated IP. The last book was released 7 years ago. The last film 3 years ago. Even if it's still popular, and there's a spin off film series on the way, the main Harry Potter IP is outdated. It's got little more than nostalgia now. It's time to let go. Take away the nostalgia and all we have is a kid's story that finished many years ago, and whilst still memorable, should be left alone, instead of picked away until its dignity has gone away. Angry Birds is about to get its second wave of popularity. There's a major film to be released in 2016. Mobile gaming is still huge, and a new game could easily make it to the top in 24 hours. Now that's a popular and current IP for you.
I think that's all I need to get my point across. Harry Potter is an outdated IP, and Diagon Alley is shaping up to be an overhyped dark ride that teaches bad moral values and a 4D experience which could go really well or really badly. Perhaps not the best family area. Angry Birds, however, is a current, popular, IP, with Angry Birds Land having a quality 4D experience and rides for everyone, which everyone will enjoy. It also teaches good moral values (don't steal, fight for what you believe in, yadda yadda yadda). If that's not quality, I don't know what is.
So save your money. Avoid Diagon Alley. Save yourself the disappointment. Take a trip down to Thorpe Park and bask in the greatness that is Angry Birds Land, and smile to yourself that you're in a better place than some hocus pocus area set about robbing a bank. You deserve it.

Me and Toofpikk thought we'd head down to Paramount Park last Friday. It STILL isn't ready, clearly didn't get ultimate planning fastrack, only standard. So we went on a random adventure through a £2 tunnel to some place. We had no idea where though.

They had delicious milkshakes but that didn't help.

This place was obsessed with pink and yellow.

Like this Fireball thing.

Look at the pink and yellow!

We just couldn't think what theme park was obsessed with pink and yellow.

They had an Elvis. Must be America

And a BIG wheel. But that doesn't mean anything, loads of places have these.

See. Pink and yellow.

Back here again. Not sure where this was but we found it 9 times.

Ohhhh. We were at Rage Southend On Sea. No that's not right.

WHY IS THIS PLACE SO BADLY ADVERTISED

All day we were confused. No idea where we were.

Thorpe Park have dodgems. Maybe I was at Thorpe Park.

No Thorpe Park doesn't have the only Archelon in the UK! But I don''t know which park does

Railway. Useful that.

Vortex. It would be so easy to brand this ride with the park it's at!

This is a Gerstlauer. It says so on the seats.

Why would I take a selfie with a bunny when I can't even check in on Facebook as I've no idea where I am!

It's okay though, we found our answer.

We were at a 5 star loo all day I feel so privileged!

Bye bye 5 star loo! Was a great day out.

Movie Park Germany was the park of the day, having been a stone’s throw from it the day before, so it was a bit weird to drive to it for a second day in a row.

Upon arrival I grew frustrated by the park not opening up the turnstiles prior to the official opening, mostly due to the lack of space available to the large crowd building up outside and the low number of actual turnstiles available. Does annoy me greatly when they could instead let people into the park, get some early sales from a cold and miserable rainy day and reduce the crowd issues.
Oh well, first port of call was a shop to pay an Express Pass. For €25 you could buy an unlimited one for all but two of the rides in the park (Jet Ski ride and the 4D Cinema), a ridiculous value that either the Germans don’t buy into because they don’t like the concept or they sell barely any of. Either way, judging by the early crowds, this was to be quite an intelligent investment.


So to the rides and the first on the list was Van Helsing’s Factory, the indoor Gerst Bobsled which I had heard many good things about. We entered through the side door of the massive shed and quickly onto the ride, the station and ride cars are both nicely themed, and I do wish I had actually seen the queue line proper.
The ride starts with some faff before the first lift hill, still quite well themed before the ride begins proper. The usual stuff really from this ride type, with swooping drops and turns, and naturally the wild mouse style turns in the dark (with no brakes) made an appearance before the second tyre lift hill. Some dodgy animatronics later we’re launched up into the rest of the ride, which I have no real recollection or knowledge of as it was all dark. Eventually you hit the brakes after defeating the evil vampire.
This ride is good, very good. It’s fun, enjoyable and quite well themed throughout, with some decent effects to boot. Solid coaster to their line-up.



Unfortunately, the horizon for coasters didn’t particularly look great, so we had a quick go on the Jet Ski Patrol because of the wish to delay the inevitable. It was time for MP Express, a Vekoma SLC.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t very good. But the worst was still yet to come.





The next coaster wasn’t open yet, so we decided to go on High Fall, an Intamin Stand-Up Gyro Drop Tower. Oh boy was that a mistake. Combining the tilting motion with the drop and the brakes and all of a sudden the entire ride is screaming in pain and agony. The most entertainment the ride presented was the subtle change in noise as the ride hit the brakes. Again, awful.

Then it was time for Bandit, my second RCCA Wooden in the space of a month, and this was a clone of Coney Island’s Cyclone. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Turns out, everything.
Bandit is by a far, far margin the single worst ride I have experienced. It’s that simple. Worse than Coaster Express, worse than Baco, worse than a Volare, worse than a Screaming Squirrel. It was violent on a constant basis, shook around at every corner, juddered about and for good measure did the odd slam into the side. It was at this moment exactly that the Express Pass value came into being, as I didn’t have to queue up for the worst coaster experience of my life. I wish I had been able to burn it down; it would certainly be worth the arsony racket.


Another go on Van Helsing was needed to experience what a good coaster was, before we headed over to Nickelodeon Land to grab the kiddie creds. Starting with Backyardigans – Mission to Mars, a Vekoma Junior, Ghost Chasers, a Wild Mouse and the infamous in German Top Trumps Jimmy Neutron’s Atomic Flyer. They were all as to be expected, though Atomic Flyer was easily the best coaster of the three.







Next up was Ice Age Adventure, an indoor dark-water ride combo. It followed the plot (loosely) of the first film, with some typical dodgy animatronics and theming throughout. The interesting part came with the drop, which essentially made it a cred. Was pleasantly surprised by it.

Time for a random crappy flat ride in Splat-o-Sphere. Had never done an Aileron before, probably won’t ever again since it was pretty dull. We saw a couple of shows around this time which were all pretty standard theme park affair (at least, with those who care about shows, not UK park level). Then it was time for the Van Helsing Show.

Impressive set aside, the show fell quite flat. Lots of dialogue, weird plot and a really bad werewolf costume mixed in with some rather poorly done fight scenes made it quite a disappointment. Points for trying/effort, but not much else positive.


As we were walking past it would have been rude to not ride Van Helsing – The Cred again before heading back to the main entrance where (strangely) two big rides sit.
First up, was new for this year The Lost Temple, to which I was very excited about, and it was probably my most anticipated ride of the entire trip. And whilst it is not a flawless dark ride, it is still entertaining, and above all well themed.
I think the major flaw with it is the actual ride system. It lacks throughput and if you’re sat in the very front (like myself) then you lose quite a lot of what is actually going on around you. That being said, the theming within the queueline and pre-shows are brilliant, and it has an actual lift rather than a fake Sub Terra style one (indeed, the ride does share some similarities with Sub Terra in some aspects). Good addition to the park and hopefully more a sign of things to come from them.









Next door was Alien Encounter, a quite randomly themed water ride with extended dark ride (and backwards) sections. It was quite cool it must be said, with an awesome Pepper’s Ghost effect, but it is also very dated at the same time.


We caught the parade (which was generic) before having a go on Time Riders, featuring John Cleese speaking German. It had an obscene amount of pre-shows that ended in a random tiny simulator. I remarked at some point that it reminded me of the Batman simulator at Madrid, turns out it WAS one once upon a time. It found itself in a similar position to the Batman ride in Madrid, so crap it was actually funny. Though it felt so wrong hearing Mr Cleese speaking German.





We rode Van Helsing again before seeing the Crazy Cops Stunt Show, which was alright and typical of your basic stunt show. The guys did well in the very wet conditions mind. Least there wasn’t any audience participation faff this time.

Van Helsing was ridden again before some food and show times again. Afterwards we did Van Helsing again (a pattern emerged very early on in the day it must be said, not helped by the central location of said cred).
We had a look towards Lost Temple again but unfortunately it was shut (it’s been having LOTS of problems this year), so Jimmy Neutron was ridden again (for some reason, I’m still not sure why) before we did the Fairy World Spin Teacups, which were generic as well. Van Helsing was ridden again before we rode the Crazy Surfer Disko Coaster (which had a lot of bounce to it) and the Santa Monica Pier Carousel, which was actually a Chairswing. The hope was to finish the day on Van Helsing but unfortunately they had seemingly closed it early. Sad face.





We stopped off at the Happiness Station for epic ice cream before heading home.

Movie Park is ok, just full of utter, utter crap for the most part. The layout doesn’t help it much, since half the park is pretty much dedicated to Nickelodeon (Ice Age and Mystery River aside), two major attractions at the entrance is also a weird design choice. The major issue is that only one of the coasters is actually good, with the two big draws being crap, some future choices would be served well into getting some good adult rides, as the park is pretty well served for families/kids. Removing Bandit, High Fall and MP Express would be an excellent start and getting some heavily themed coasters that are good could help put the park on the map a little bit more.

Another day and this time it was off to the first random small park of the trip in Serengeti Park, which is Germany’s version of West Midlands Safari Park. But this one had two fantastic attractions which were worth the entrance fee alone.

Unlike everyone else visiting, we weren’t doing the safari portion of the park, as a hire car and an animal safari would probably not combine well in my mind, so we walked into the ride area to find absolutely nothing open. Presumably because they assume that all the sensible people will be driving around looking at animals for hours first.

As a result, we waited for the AquaSafari to open. This is one of those hoverboat things you tend to see in Florida, so it was an interesting concept for this random park in Germany to have. No seatbelts or lifejackets for the riders to boot (children needed lifejackets), classic H&S there.
It starts off like Jungle Cruise, with dodgy animal animatronics doing dodgy actions, before an open lake reveals itself and the boat bombs around it a few times, before it leaves for one last random thing to happen and head back to the dock. It’s insanely weird but I really liked it because of the crappy Jungle Cruise rip-off aspect to begin with before the fun of darting around a lake.








Next up we decided to head towards their other safari attraction, DschungleSafari, which can only be described as “This is what Chessington wanted Zufari to be, only tonnes better”. Two ways it does this from just boarding the vehicle are being able to see out the front of the vehicle, and having a driver that interacts with the riders.
You begin with a quick dart out into the real safari area on an off-road track not accessible to normal visitors, passing the usual array of Savannah animals until you head back into the jungle/woodland. This is where things get REALLY interesting.
Once in the woodland, you go on this long trek through them, encountering various scenes of more dodgy animatronics, a danger cave, trick track and many other things. It’s hilarity at its finest, with the stand-out moment being some talking ostriches about half-way through. You begin to think after every scene that it has to be over now, but another corner leads into another scene. Absolutely brilliant and this should make people want to visit.










After that we wandered around the monkey zoo they have, was quite good actually, with some proper walkthroughs dotted around.










It was time for the two creds on the park. Firstly there was a Zierer Tivoli, Froschflitzer, which was meh. This meh was followed up by more meh as we rode the Huss Condor. Finally we rode my first S&MCo coaster (actually the company title) Die! Wilde Maus, which was a mental kiddie coaster with lots of scary airtime.








We had a dodgy burger for lunch and settled to watch some shows, including another Trampolining Show, then the show after that got cancelled, so we hopped on the train and did their Wanyama Village style area. The huts pictured are actually part of the on-site accommodation.










More wandering happened and we visited another walkthrough before seeing a Dive and Acrobatics Show.




Then we headed back to the hotel. Serengeti is actually quite a decent park considering that the safari park is the main aspect of it. Interestingly the land it’s on is also huge and there is plenty of space for future expansion, be it for more animal enclosures dotted around (there weren’t THAT many aside from all the monkeys), or for some actual ride expansion. I’d like to see both personally but I’m greedy like that.
A nice surprise to have from a park with quite low expectations.

Ah Heide, the weird red-headed step-child of the Merlin machine from my last visit, with its strange mixture of music and atmosphere seemingly stolen from other parks. It lured me back with the prospect of completing the European B&M collection (of course, until Garda and Efteling’s ones open next year), and an attempt to ride Colossos again to see if I can actually like it.

First thing was first though, and that was to collect our German MAPs. The reasons for this were for the free entry to Gardaland and the complimentary Q-Bot at both Heide and Legoland Germany. Considering how busy Heide was looking prior to opening, this was a good choice.



Passes and Q-Bot acquired, we moved straight over to Flug von Damenon. Unlike Swarm, this has a sensible queue-line, the splits just before the batching point, has enough space in the station for 2 trains worth of people AND most importantly has a rotating bag holder at each row. How this logic never made it to Thorpe I’ll never know, because it runs a lot more efficiently.
However, the ride itself is unfortunately lacklustre, and I’m still not sure if I place it above or below Swarm. The layout is quite good, and with a bit more speed might not have the sort of dead spots that you see in Swarm’s over-sized flat turnaround and the finale. But it is quite slow and lumbering, and even worse, has an awful, awful bounce already. The bounce is what ruins the ride really, it’s so strange that a brand new ride can have that so early in its life. Perhaps the design of the ride and the layout being quite tight (Raptor and Swarm are both drawn out) means that there are higher levels of force acting upon the train, and because of the vibration that naturally happens anyway on these train styles, it just becomes more noticeable under heavier force.
Either way, a bitter disappointment, and Raptor is still quite easily the best Wing-Rider I’ve experienced.










One positive for Flug is the single rider queue, which when combined with a reasonably epic batcher man, went quickly. After the second ride it was time to ride Krake with the finished boat section. I still liked it a lot from my first rides, especially as it amazed the Germans from the visual perspective. It still does that, and it delivers a fair whack of airtime after the inversion nowadays. They’ve also added a dedicated front row queue to it, which is a slight improvement, but a real improvement would have been to batch it all in, especially given how Q-Bots enter the station building in an awkward fashion.





We had some Crepes whilst we waited for our next booking, Colossos. I distinctly remember being completely non-plussed about this ride on my previous visit, soul-less rubbish I called it. After my recent enjoyment of Balder I thought however that this viewpoint could well change, and to see if it was accurate the back row was chosen.
My viewpoint on Colossos has not changed. The first drop is wonderful, but everything else just seems poor. Just found it extremely difficult to actually enjoy the hills, the corners are duller than Balder’s and that long helix is really rattly. It just simply doesn’t do anything for me and I doubt it ever will.





Grottenblitz was next, one of my least favourite Mack Powered coasters, before we broke for lunch at Pizza Pasta. I forget how much it was, but the pizza slices are quite simply ridiculous. I spent some time afterwards taking photos from the terrace outside.








Straight after lunch was time for Desert Race, the slightly better version of Rita (again, damning with faint praise), before it was time to see the Madagascar Circus Show.






Unlike Chessie’s version, this one is indoors, and as a result you need to acquire a ticket for the next showing. A good idea really, as it prevents mass crowds building up and then having to close off the building and disappointing guests. Also unlike Chessie’s version, this one is actually good, as it more appears to be a circus show that just so happens to have a Madagascar related storyline to tie it all together. It also had fire.
It was time to whore out the Q-Bot some more (although Heide have a rubbish tier system of either having select rides depending on your choice, but a decent idea in limiting the amount of times you can use it on each ride, so we had 2 goes on every major coaster but Flug). So we rode Krake, Flug and Schweizer Bobbahn, which wasn’t very good, before riding Desert Race again.






There was a long gap for Colossos so we used it riding the two water rides in the middle of the park. They were a well deserved rest in amongst the constant cred riding it must be said. Colossos was still a disappointment.





The random Pirate Show was next, which was extremely weird and random. Didn’t really get it so we ran away early for our Krake time slot before two last goes on Flug to finish off the day.


Heide is such a weird park, I don’t really know if I like it or not. The rides don’t really do that much for me (Krake being the best, Scream was closed all day) and the park is a weird mish-mash of half-arsed theming attempts and some completely closed off areas. They have started to get an unique identity to themselves with the addition of several IMAScore music dotted around the park to remove old Tussauds themes, but there’s still a lot of flaws around the park. Their ents budget has also seemingly been slashed to bits as one arena stood empty.

Here we are, the park home to Ultimate things like Raptor Attack, Angry Birds and some random stuff.

Here we see the Ultimate wheel that they have. It's so good that even on busy days they only load half the carriages.

Much like the annoying Drayton, LWV opens its gates at 10 but the main rides at 10:30. However, you can't even go down towards them from 10 so this happens. And with Ultimate things behind the man a queue of stampeding people formed!

So we went on the wheel which was opened and then RAN (for people who know me that is an ultimate thing!)

We ran, we saw, nothing Ultimate happening here. So did Raptor Attack which is Ultimate!

So we went mining.

This tunnel really is as small as it looks!

And this beam really is low! Ultimate theming here.

Raptor Attack is a generic coaster you find at fun fairs, however in the dark with a really well down internal queue and animatronic raptors throughout the ride it is pretty Ultimate!

Speaking of which...

They have a ladybird Zierer Tivoli!

And yes in the background is indeed a Reverchon spinner!

Ultimate green spin it was.

While we're talking about green...

The green Falls of Terror water slides!

With a blue sign

Like this man.

And parts of the sky! The sky is blue! Ultimate British weather!

This wall is blue too.

YAY ABAP AT LWV! YAY

All the space guys say hi

To the generic guys

Not a fan of oversized birds though. Ultimately they aren't real

Through the rings we go back to the real world

I will. If it's Ultimate that is.

Important sign there ensuring you have Ultimate fun. Oh and a meh wood sculpture.

This guy is a legend. He made a bird fly! Ultimate lad.

He approves.

Mr Ferret wasn't too sure though. His day clearly hadn't been Ultimate.

Urgh camera was facing the wrong way guys. Sorry let's get back to Ultimate things.

Like the insane Whirlwind.

And Ultimately awesome skate karts!

Weeee!

Ultimate failing going on here!

These are pretty good.

Do like their green though.

At least that way the rides are camouflaged.

See! You can't see the rides! Ultimate camouflaging skills!

Just watch out for the train.

They are living on the edge without train gates so remember to look both ways for an Ultimate day out.

Here are a few things that I find Ultimately sickening.







This is my type of thing!

Speedy tractor.

Just know it's going to be fast with a sign like that!

Camouflaged cherry picker. It's difficult to see I know but I'm Ultimate and can see it.

Real animals

This was my lunch the following day. After all, it was national hamburger day.

Not even going to ask. It's that Ultimate.

Something through the trees. Didn't look Ultimate enough though.

Few more Ultimate things.

Blur of Ultimateness.

No blur.

OOOOOO. Not bad.

Ultimate lad up there on the lift hill. Not sure what ride this was. Still wasn't Ultimate enough for us.

Yes Ultimate things

So with the Carousel done we'd been on everything bar one ride. They call it "The Ultimate." Don't know why.

It had a long queue.

Only one working train.

Boring signs.

Not running is boring.

Stupidly placed chains.

Safety features like air gates.

Lift hills everywhere which take an age to complete.

Stupid thing.

Just a shame it's so darn good! Ultimate is amazing! Relentlessly awesome! It has some gimmick too, not sure what but it doesn't need it! Best ride on park.

Well after this bad boy!

The first day proper of the trip led us to Hansa Park, a place which I really enjoyed on my previous visit 3 years ago. Unfortunately, not much has really changed to the park overall since my last visit aside from the entrance area being tarted up. But when you have one of the best Eurofighters around (potential damning with faint praise comments here), that sits in my top 10, of course a revisit was in order.


Upon arrival a group of enthusiasts were spotted, evidenced by their gooniforms and badges. I didn’t even realise Hansa Park was big enough to have a full on fansite, but they do.

Into the park and in a similar fashion to my visit 3 years ago, the first rides were once again Nessie and Rasender Roland. Both rides are starting to feel out of place in comparison to the more recent ride additions within the park, as they lack a real theme (Nessie has slightly more of one granted). However their interaction with each other is actually well done; and Nessie is still quite forceful and full of airtime. The ride on Roland involved Nessie going around the loop right above our heads, which was equally terrifying and brilliant.





After riding those, it was time to join the queue for the main attraction at the park, Fluch von Novgorod. Those who know me know my love for this ride is pretty big, with a wonderful theme, it tells a story and the ride itself is very good fun. My main worry with it this time around was how bad it might have aged over the past 3 years, as most other Gerstlauer Eurofighters are well known for becoming rough as hell after a year or two in operation. Fortunately for Fluch, it hasn’t aged badly at all, with maybe one moment of roughness included in the layout. The launch and all indoor sections are still fab too. It’s just a shame that Gerstlauer’s other efforts seem to have had lots of problems and roughness issues over the years, as this is probably the best version of the ride type around.
Depressingly however, the exit slide was not in operation. Booooooo.






A quick second go on Fluch was had (hooray for no-one using the mid-queue single rider) before we went off into the rest of the park. Starting off with the apparent cred but not a cred El Paso Express. I didn’t do this last time around, and this weird contraption is very, very weird. It has constant back and forth motion within the track layout, and uses that mix of gravity and powered coaster. Weird but enjoyable. We also walked through the random Path of the Mayans interactive attraction, where you solve puzzles in order to progress past water features.



As we walked to our next destination, we saw the Hansa Park Goons getting a tour of Karnan. At the time of our visit it was only dirt and a giant pit, so nothing too interesting to see, so we continued to Die Glocke. Again we missed out on this last time due to the horrid throughput it has (6 people per ride), but as it was still early went for it this time. It was good fun, very spinny and had FIRE. Next door was the still well themed El Dorado Storm Surge alike, minimal wetness ensued which was relatively welcomed in the hot weather.






It was snack time!


After the delicious snacks, we headed towards the (FREE) High Ropes Course of terror! It was pretty amazing tbh, with two options for each section, each more confusing and terrifying than the last. The height factor combined with some of the rather unsturdy aspects of it led to some issues, however I made it all the way around like a boss. Huzzah!



Needing a rest after that, Schlange von Midgard was chosen as the next ride. As it was unfinished 3 years ago, I was intrigued to see what was new about it; it had some cool effects added into the lift hill, but not much else could really be done about it. I’m still confused as to why some batching rows weren’t added in the first place though, and the dragon thing wasn’t working either. Still a fun kids coaster though.




Torre del Mar was next, because a Starflyer next to a construction site is ALWAYS a good idea. Then we went on Fluch again because it’s fab before breaking for some Steak-on-a-Stick, which was extremely nom.



A random Variety Show was next, which included Trampolining people, dancing, and a man who flew a remote controlled plane around the auditorium, he was the fabbest of them all. Afterwards there was some investigation into where Karnan is going, and the weirdness of the layout needs to be confirmed, considering it’s seemingly going to go all the way down past half the park.






Space Scooter was next, which were some Dodgems with lasers to shoot at random targets around the arena. It wasn’t fun because my gun seemingly didn’t work and people actually got annoyed with you if you bumped them. Extremely rubbish, but at least it exited into a play area.

We left quickly to see the Parade go past before collecting some Crepes for some quick boost of energy, enjoyed the Magical Flower Boat Ride before another go on Fluch to finish off the day.






I like Hansa, and the stuff they’ve been doing with the entrance refurb does make it have a fantastic entrance area. Hopefully they’ll continue refurbing the park whilst developing it with the likes of Karnan because a lot of it does look slightly worn and run-down in comparison to the actual themed areas (I.e. Nessie vs Wild West area). I’ll certainly have the park back in my sights in 2016 when Karnan is finished.

Helix, Liseberg and Mack’s 2014 project has been at the forefront of many an enthusiast’s mind during the past year or so. With Blue Fire being reasonably rated by the community, hopes were high for Helix when it was announced. Two launches, multiple inversions, a terrain based layout and the odd airtime hill meant that this ride was ticking all the right boxes for enthusiasts around the world.
The real proof though, was in the pudding of actually riding it. And this is a more detailed review on the attraction, so spoilers beware.

Helix lives at the top of Liseberg’s hill, sharing a building with Atmosfear, the Intamin Gyro Drop, and a few other bits and pieces. Indeed, it feels more that Helix is budging in on the pre-existing attractions in the building, as the Helix ‘side’ as it were is rather small and under-stated. Perhaps it was designed this way, but it is a slight shame that for all the rest of the ride’s majesty the entrance is literally a door in a wall.
However, from entering the queue, such understatement is forgotten. The queue-line itself is reminiscent of Westminster’s Jubilee Line area, with Escher references and the odd Goon-Window for goons to pry into the mechanical workings of the ride. It’s also a great example of how to do a concrete themed queueline, with lighting and rockwork complementing the style of the ride, as opposed to a theme.



There is also a Helix game app available on Apple and Android devices, which is actually a live competition amongst those in the queue. It’s a random set of mini-games with a loose theme to the ride itself, but great fun to play and watch others. Certainly an ingenious way to pass the time in the constantly moving queue.


Like Blue Fire and Alpina Blitz, the seats are incredibly comfortable; however the stapling from the ride ops is unfortunate to say the least. A considered warning for those planning to go in the future.
The understated dispatch of changing lights as the ride drops down with some considerable airtime in the back before the slow corkscrew to ease us into the ride before we turn a corner and into the first launch. Whilst not the most powerful or fastest launch ever, it fulfils the need of the ride’s mass market ability, and is still an incredibly fun launch anyway, as it whips you into the first zero-g of the ride.
A quick turn and airtime hill lead us back down to the base of the hill, and into the Snorwegian Loop, which was blatantly better than Speed Monster’s, mainly due to the speed at which it was taken here. Diving under Lisbergbanen’s lift-hill, we rise back up into a fantastic airtime hill. I’d adored Alpina Blitz’s ones, and Helix certainly topped them off for the level of quality, they’re even better when instantly followed by a zero-g. The final part of the first half of the ride involves a sharp overbanked turn into a diving helix, which ended up being my favourite part of the ride it must be said, because it again combines a sharp bit of airtime and transitioning in a way that Intamin can only dream about (unless lap-bars are involved).





The second launch which provides an extra boost of speed if nothing else into the inverted top hat, which featured some hangtime towards the front of the train. The best airtime hill of the ride follows, as the drop out of it seems to go on forever, before we turn out into the most terrain bit of the ride, the rising s-bends. Which are again fun for an element of a pure design to just enforce the train to lose speed. The typical Mack finish of the inline is just as good as Blue Fire’s, even without the near miss theming.





And that’s it. Although my first ride was in the middle, I still found that Helix fulfilled the hype for me. It does lots of things, and whilst it may not do any of these things in an overtly ridiculous fashion (say like, how Intamin do great first drops but everything else is poor comparatively), everything is done well. The pacing is pretty seemless, even with the second launch as the train still has a fair amount of speed going into it. And the use of interaction with the terrain (as little as there might be in the final form) and other rides (Upswingett and Lisebergbanen) allow it to gain extra brownie points.
Some people think it needs on-ride music, but I disagree, as I find on-ride music on anything but indoor coasters tend to get lost with the wind and general being outside times, however awesome the ride’s music is. The only true negative of the ride is that the merch is crap. I loved it from my first ride, and a front and back row ride afterwards pretty much confirmed it was top 10 for me.
At night, it’s a different beast as well. The lighting package with head and sidelights produces a different experience both on and off-ride. It makes the ride look even more beautiful.





Mack and Liseberg have truly struck gold with Helix. And I hope that more parks start to pick up this attraction (Towers can replace Rita with one going into the valley).

Two months later, with the dust settled on my trip I already look back with great fondness. I've talked about the theme parks but what about the culture of California. How different is it to the humid and tourist trap that is Florida. Many UK enthusiasts don't venture past the state with all the oranges for obvious reasons.
First thing is people in California are thinner then the East side. Disney World is full of ECV's, California has very few. Florida theme parking is one big bubble of tourists, California is far more about making your own way around without the aid of specially put on buses and taxis. The first thing that struck me about San Francisco is the hills and the beautiful scenery of the downtown area. It looks fantastic from afar, with the golden gate bridge a particular highlight (although Chris said it doesn't look any better the the Humber bridge; spoilsport). As is the culture we had a lot of Starbucks on the trip. It doesn't help that on every block lies a Starbucks or a Chipotle or a Starbucks.

San Francisco is also incredibly hilly, we took a walk around the outer ring and some of the hills are murderous. We wandered over to the Castro, the gay area of San Fran and where history was made. Anyone interested should read up on Harvey Milk, the first gay politician elected into office and subsequently murdered a few months later. The area has an ease about it and is an excellent place to watch an Austrian drag act win Eurovision.


On day three, our adventures took us over to the Golden Gate Bridge, an iconic American landmark. It is a beautiful sight to behold and even though we accidentally drove over it, I had a real appreciation for its significance.

Our destination was actually the Walt Disney Museum, an essential place to visit for any Disney park or film fan. Fantastic place where you see the history of a man who changed the world we live in. From his early days creating Oswold and Mickey to designing the worlds first true theme park. This was a man ahead of his time in more ways then one. Essential viewing.



And then next was Pier 39, home for a bunch of sealions who make a lot of noise and have a lot of fights. Quite smelly too. But this was where we had an American sized lunch which was impossible to finish. We gave it our best shot.

And after four days of Touring this wonderful place, it was time to pack our bags and head to Magic Mountain and onto Los Angeles. Tune in next time. If you want too.

For the first in about 10 or 11 years, I visited a non-Merlin theme park. It's been a long time coming, and anywhere was a start. And that start was to be Drayton Manor.
After such a beautiful week, Saturday decided to take a turn for the worst, and give us rain, thunder, lightning (though with a couple of breaks of sunshine during the day!). Adam picked me up and we arrived at Drayton around 9ish. Even though we were early, we could tell it was gonna be quiet day, and thank goodness, after some of the horror stories I'd heard about the park's operations.

We arrived to some sun, though we could tell dark times were ahead.
Half 9 came and the park opened. One of the first things which confuse me about the park is opening the park at 9:30, but not the rides until 10:30. There's not really enough to do for a whole hour, other than the small zoo, which we headed to straight away.

Tigers are a'coming.

A chimpanzee looks to Apocalypse in the distance.
Rides were testing so we headed over to G Force (which apparently had been closed for a couple of days) and we were pretty much first in the queue. 10:30 came and it opened; yay. This was my first coaster with inversions that had lap bars, and I'd heard some pretty poor things about it, but kept an open mind. And yeah, I thought it was quite fun. My first ride didn't give me any problems with the restraints, and it was a fun, fast-paced ride. I did get a bit of air time as well, which is nice. It's an odd ride (especially with the "humpety bumpety" lift) and seems to do all the best bits at the beginning, giving a week end, but hey-ho, it's a fun enough ride.

My G Force face.
Next up was the big, new thing - Air Race. I wasn't quite sure how it'd ride, what with the continual spinning and moving and stuff, but it was actually really good. The rocking start is very good, and then it just keeps spinning, round and round and round. It doesn't get boring, and there's some nice moments where you're left hanging upside down for quite a while. Near the end of the ride, we started spinning in the opposite direction. Would be nice if it did it sooner, just to mix it up a little, but hey ho. On a ride later on in the day, we counted that we went upside 18 times (sorry Smiler! ).

Air Race does have a nice entrance feature though.

Air Race's queue line is a nice cattlepen - like many of Drayton's queue - and has a TV playing annoying things.
Shockwave followed. Have to say, the station and theming in the queue line is quite nice actually. The seats and restraints on this thing though is very, erm, eurgh. Yeah, I'll go with eurgh. They're not comfortable and they just don't feel right. The ride itself has two highlights - a random little dip before going onto the lift, and the zero-g roll (which is actually incredible). The rest is uncomfortable, rattly or boring. There vertical loop was bleurgh, the double corkscrew is verging on painful and then the random straight bits are unimaginative (though, at least they don't try to castrate you). Now I see why so few stand ups have been built...

Found in Shockwave's queueline - made me chuckle...
Next up was Splash Canyon, the park's rapids. It was barely 11 o'clock, but we were already soaking wet, so water rides wouldn't make much difference. Fun little ride, not that wet really, though the indoor section did take me off guard.
Another water ride followed, and this time it was in the famous Stormforce 10. I'd heard a lot of good things about this, so I was excited. Have to say, the queue - which we once again walked through - is nicely themed and works really well. Onto the ride itself. The first drop is nice, and the way it's done was unexpected by me. Then wandering through the random waterfall is cool. The second drop, the backwards one, was a shock. We were sat at the very back, which meant we got the full force of water. For a split second, I thought I was on Tidal Wave I was that wet. Brilliant water ride. Not-so brilliant for when the weather is already chucking it down. Final drop is quite nice too. So yeah, a great water ride all in all, but I'll try to avoid the back next time...
A quick spin on Malestrom (nothing really to say about this, just a nice filler really) and drying off in one of the heater things (which was so worth it given how wet we were...), it was time to venture indoors for Pirate Adventure. It's an indoor boat ride which is basically a knock off of Pirates of the Caribbean. Have to say it's alright, though it seemed like a lot of the animatronics were broke. The ending was super anti-climatic too, which was a shame. For the record, this was probably our longest queue of the day at an amazingly long 15 minutes. Goes to show how quiet it was I guess. A go on the dodgems, sponsored by Free Radio, followed, and they were pretty decent.
Food followed in the Safari Pizza & Pasta:

Very nice indoors restaurant located by the zoo. Indoors there's loads of animal animatronics which move and stuff and it was quite a nice atmosphere in there. (By the way, unlike Merlin's Pizza / Pasta, this isn't all you can eat in case you're wondering. We just had a nice pizza and wedges meal).
We headed over to Ben 10: Ultimate Mission, the world's first Vekoma Junior Boomerang. It looked surprisingly tall and quick for a junior coaster, and I have to admit, it was one coaster I was really looking forward to. Again, there was next to no queue, which was great. The majority of the queue is indoors, and is very well themed, with aliens, loads of 'high tech' stuff, noises, lights, etc., and a false corridor which tricked Adam and I. Very, very good.

Aliens.
First ride gifted us with front row. Being lifted up backwards was a nice sensation, though the stop is very harsh and judders you around a bit. Then you're dropped down and you pick up a lot of speed very quickly, meander around a bit, then up a random wiggle. You hear the laser fire and do backward to the station. It's a short ride of course, but it's great. It has a bit of everything and left both of us happy. No doubt kids love the ride as well. It's certainly Drayton's most complete ride and is fun for everyone. What's even more impressive is how it takes up so little room. Given the lack of queue, we went straight back round to do it again, which is a testament to the ride's quality.

Look at that joy.
Afterwards, we ventured to what I'll nickname 'dark ride row'. We started off with The Haunting, a Vekoma madhouse. Much like Hex, it has two pre-shows before the ride. The first pre-show is very nicely done, with some TVs giving you an introduction, and one or two nice effects used. The second pre-show isn't as good I found, going on for a bit too long, and that you couldn't always hear what was being said. The actual madhouse itself is good, with a nice ending I thought. So all in all it is a nice ride, but it also showed by just how good Hex is as well. Haunting is great in its own right, but Hex is in a different league.
Next door was Golden Nugget - Wild West Shoot Out. As the name suggests, it's a gun-based ride where you shoot things for points. Other than the name and logo, there's no reference to the Golden Nugget cereal. It's a very cheap ride clearly, and to be honest, is quite laughable. It's nice that some things happen when you hit the target though. But still, not a great ride. We ended dark ride row with Drunken Barrels, the tilting teacups. They were good fun, and the plate actually tipped, but our cup was way too stiff to spin.
It was now time for the last major ride (in my opinion), Apocalypse. Decided to go in at the deep end and do stand up first (though, unfortunately, the floorless seating wasn't available today). The seats are okay - more comfortable than Shockwave's at least! - and the tilt is a great twist; did get me a little bit. However, the drop itself is okay at best. Just doesn't really get me as much as I'd hoped. Though the suddenness of the drop is a nice touch. Sit down followed straight away, and I think I prefer that seating arrangement due to the added comfort. One thing which disappointed me with this (and a lot of Drayton in general actually) was the lack of audio, apart from the occasional siren. No atmosphere, very little tension and it just felt like the ride could have been so much more intimidating with some sort of background noise.
We decided to get some other rides done, including Flying Dutchman - yet another odd Drayton ride - and Buffalo Coaster. Buffalo is quite possibly the weirdest coaster I've done, with an odd layout, monorail-like speeds, yet the occasional okay bit. It goes on forever as well. I feels like it's time should be nearly up, and the space and surrounding area would be great for a family coaster (hi there Mack!). Oh, one laughable thing about Buffalo - on our ride, the train overshot the station, meaning the people in the front row couldn't get out, and had to have another go (I feel for the poor souls).
I would do a list of all the things which are more useful than Buffalo, but I think I'd be here for too long...

Buffalo with Apocalypse in the background. The Buffalo should look a lot more sad though.
We then went to the other side of the park to venture round Thomas Land. Looks nice, and I know that my younger self would have exploded with excitement to be there. Only ride we did round here was Troublesome Trucks Runaway Coaster. For a ride set in Thomas Land, it was actually alright, and the ending on it was a specific highlight. Great ride for the younger market.

We saw Percy whilst queueing fro Troublesome Trucks.

NEW FOR 2015. Funnily enough, when you're in the park, you don't really recognise the construction going on. When you're outside the park, by the entrance, you see the site, but have no idea what it's for.
With basically everything done, it was time for rerides aplenty. Air Race, G Force and Shockwave were all done again, as was Ben 10. After a while, a storm came over, bringing more rain, thunder and lightning, bringing most rides to a close (as an interesting fact, Apocalypse was hit by lightning this past week ). One of the few rides which remained open was Polperro Express Train; a short train ride which goes round part of the park. It gave some nice views of Shockwave, Stormforce 10, G Force and the rapids, and it was a nice break from the rain.
Some rides slowly began reopening, so we were able to get a few more rides in (including on the Golden Nugget ride since it was indoors, and just so we could laugh at it's awfulness some more). We ended up riding Ben 10 five times during the day, which I think shows how it is indeed a good ride for the park. The day ended off with a ride on G Force, and it was the only one where I had an uncomfortable experience. However, I still stand by my views that it is a fun ride; just a shame the restraints can cause it to be otherwise.
Drayton Manor is a nice park all in all, and given it's a small park, it's done well for itself. But there's a few rides which are very cheap and laughable which need sorting out, I imagine on a busy day it's a bad place to be in (queue board times to some description would be nice for example), and there's some things lacking (audio on all rides for example). I don't want to end on a negative note, as I enjoyed the place and had a fabulous day out, and if you take it for what it is, it is good. I definitely would recommend people trying it out (especially if you have a voucher of some description), there are some good rides there which make it worth going there once.
Visiting has given me the extra incentive to try out other parks as well. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but it's more that I've been a been a bit blasé about it all. However, after yesterday's experience, I now have an urge to try parks new and different (and who knows, might even crack Europe next year!)
I'll leave with perhaps the best photo of the day; our last ride on Ben 10:

For the first in about 10 or 11 years, I visited a non-Merlin theme park. It's been a long time coming, and anywhere was a start. And that start was to be Drayton Manor.
After such a beautiful week, Saturday decided to take a turn for the worst, and give us rain, thunder, lightning (though with a couple of breaks of sunshine during the day!). Adam picked me up and we arrived at Drayton around 9ish. Even though we were early, we could tell it was gonna be quiet day, and thank goodness, after some of the horror stories I'd heard about the park's operations.

We arrived to some sun, though we could tell dark times were ahead.
Half 9 came and the park opened. One of the first things which confuse me about the park is opening the park at 9:30, but not the rides until 10:30. There's not really enough to do for a whole hour, other than the small zoo, which we headed to straight away.

Tigers are a'coming.

A chimpanzee looks to Apocalypse in the distance.
Rides were testing so we headed over to G Force (which apparently had been closed for a couple of days) and we were pretty much first in the queue. 10:30 came and it opened; yay. This was my first coaster with inversions that had lap bars, and I'd heard some pretty poor things about it, but kept an open mind. And yeah, I thought it was quite fun. My first ride didn't give me any problems with the restraints, and it was a fun, fast-paced ride. I did get a bit of air time as well, which is nice. It's an odd ride (especially with the "humpety bumpety" lift) and seems to do all the best bits at the beginning, giving a week end, but hey-ho, it's a fun enough ride.

My G Force face.
Next up was the big, new thing - Air Race. I wasn't quite sure how it'd ride, what with the continual spinning and moving and stuff, but it was actually really good. The rocking start is very good, and then it just keeps spinning, round and round and round. It doesn't get boring, and there's some nice moments where you're left hanging upside down for quite a while. Near the end of the ride, we started spinning in the opposite direction. Would be nice if it did it sooner, just to mix it up a little, but hey ho. On a ride later on in the day, we counted that we went upside 18 times (sorry Smiler! ).

Air Race does have a nice entrance feature though.

Air Race's queue line is a nice cattlepen - like many of Drayton's queue - and has a TV playing annoying things.
Shockwave followed. Have to say, the station and theming in the queue line is quite nice actually. The seats and restraints on this thing though is very, erm, eurgh. Yeah, I'll go with eurgh. They're not comfortable and they just don't feel right. The ride itself has two highlights - a random little dip before going onto the lift, and the zero-g roll (which is actually incredible). The rest is uncomfortable, rattly or boring. There vertical loop was bleurgh, the double corkscrew is verging on painful and then the random straight bits are unimaginative (though, at least they don't try to castrate you). Now I see why so few stand ups have been built...

Found in Shockwave's queueline - made me chuckle...
Next up was Splash Canyon, the park's rapids. It was barely 11 o'clock, but we were already soaking wet, so water rides wouldn't make much difference. Fun little ride, not that wet really, though the indoor section did take me off guard.
Another water ride followed, and this time it was in the famous Stormforce 10. I'd heard a lot of good things about this, so I was excited. Have to say, the queue - which we once again walked through - is nicely themed and works really well. Onto the ride itself. The first drop is nice, and the way it's done was unexpected by me. Then wandering through the random waterfall is cool. The second drop, the backwards one, was a shock. We were sat at the very back, which meant we got the full force of water. For a split second, I thought I was on Tidal Wave I was that wet. Brilliant water ride. Not-so brilliant for when the weather is already chucking it down. Final drop is quite nice too. So yeah, a great water ride all in all, but I'll try to avoid the back next time...
A quick spin on Malestrom (nothing really to say about this, just a nice filler really) and drying off in one of the heater things (which was so worth it given how wet we were...), it was time to venture indoors for Pirate Adventure. It's an indoor boat ride which is basically a knock off of Pirates of the Caribbean. Have to say it's alright, though it seemed like a lot of the animatronics were broke. The ending was super anti-climatic too, which was a shame. For the record, this was probably our longest queue of the day at an amazingly long 15 minutes. Goes to show how quiet it was I guess. A go on the dodgems, sponsored by Free Radio, followed, and they were pretty decent.
Food followed in the Safari Pizza & Pasta:

Very nice indoors restaurant located by the zoo. Indoors there's loads of animal animatronics which move and stuff and it was quite a nice atmosphere in there. (By the way, unlike Merlin's Pizza / Pasta, this isn't all you can eat in case you're wondering. We just had a nice pizza and wedges meal).
We headed over to Ben 10: Ultimate Mission, the world's first Vekoma Junior Boomerang. It looked surprisingly tall and quick for a junior coaster, and I have to admit, it was one coaster I was really looking forward to. Again, there was next to no queue, which was great. The majority of the queue is indoors, and is very well themed, with aliens, loads of 'high tech' stuff, noises, lights, etc., and a false corridor which tricked Adam and I. Very, very good.

Aliens.
First ride gifted us with front row. Being lifted up backwards was a nice sensation, though the stop is very harsh and judders you around a bit. Then you're dropped down and you pick up a lot of speed very quickly, meander around a bit, then up a random wiggle. You hear the laser fire and do backward to the station. It's a short ride of course, but it's great. It has a bit of everything and left both of us happy. No doubt kids love the ride as well. It's certainly Drayton's most complete ride and is fun for everyone. What's even more impressive is how it takes up so little room. Given the lack of queue, we went straight back round to do it again, which is a testament to the ride's quality.

Look at that joy.
Afterwards, we ventured to what I'll nickname 'dark ride row'. We started off with The Haunting, a Vekoma madhouse. Much like Hex, it has two pre-shows before the ride. The first pre-show is very nicely done, with some TVs giving you an introduction, and one or two nice effects used. The second pre-show isn't as good I found, going on for a bit too long, and that you couldn't always hear what was being said. The actual madhouse itself is good, with a nice ending I thought. So all in all it is a nice ride, but it also showed by just how good Hex is as well. Haunting is great in its own right, but Hex is in a different league.
Next door was Golden Nugget - Wild West Shoot Out. As the name suggests, it's a gun-based ride where you shoot things for points. Other than the name and logo, there's no reference to the Golden Nugget cereal. It's a very cheap ride clearly, and to be honest, is quite laughable. It's nice that some things happen when you hit the target though. But still, not a great ride. We ended dark ride row with Drunken Barrels, the tilting teacups. They were good fun, and the plate actually tipped, but our cup was way too stiff to spin.
It was now time for the last major ride (in my opinion), Apocalypse. Decided to go in at the deep end and do stand up first (though, unfortunately, the floorless seating wasn't available today). The seats are okay - more comfortable than Shockwave's at least! - and the tilt is a great twist; did get me a little bit. However, the drop itself is okay at best. Just doesn't really get me as much as I'd hoped. Though the suddenness of the drop is a nice touch. Sit down followed straight away, and I think I prefer that seating arrangement due to the added comfort. One thing which disappointed me with this (and a lot of Drayton in general actually) was the lack of audio, apart from the occasional siren. No atmosphere, very little tension and it just felt like the ride could have been so much more intimidating with some sort of background noise.
We decided to get some other rides done, including Flying Dutchman - yet another odd Drayton ride - and Buffalo Coaster. Buffalo is quite possibly the weirdest coaster I've done, with an odd layout, monorail-like speeds, yet the occasional okay bit. It goes on forever as well. I feels like it's time should be nearly up, and the space and surrounding area would be great for a family coaster (hi there Mack!). Oh, one laughable thing about Buffalo - on our ride, the train overshot the station, meaning the people in the front row couldn't get out, and had to have another go (I feel for the poor souls).
I would do a list of all the things which are more useful than Buffalo, but I think I'd be here for too long...

Buffalo with Apocalypse in the background. The Buffalo should look a lot more sad though.
We then went to the other side of the park to venture round Thomas Land. Looks nice, and I know that my younger self would have exploded with excitement to be there. Only ride we did round here was Troublesome Trucks Runaway Coaster. For a ride set in Thomas Land, it was actually alright, and the ending on it was a specific highlight. Great ride for the younger market.

We saw Percy whilst queueing fro Troublesome Trucks.

NEW FOR 2015. Funnily enough, when you're in the park, you don't really recognise the construction going on. When you're outside the park, by the entrance, you see the site, but have no idea what it's for.
With basically everything done, it was time for rerides aplenty. Air Race, G Force and Shockwave were all done again, as was Ben 10. After a while, a storm came over, bringing more rain, thunder and lightning, bringing most rides to a close (as an interesting fact, Apocalypse was hit by lightning this past week ). One of the few rides which remained open was Polperro Express Train; a short train ride which goes round part of the park. It gave some nice views of Shockwave, Stormforce 10, G Force and the rapids, and it was a nice break from the rain.
Some rides slowly began reopening, so we were able to get a few more rides in (including on the Golden Nugget ride since it was indoors, and just so we could laugh at it's awfulness some more). We ended up riding Ben 10 five times during the day, which I think shows how it is indeed a good ride for the park. The day ended off with a ride on G Force, and it was the only one where I had an uncomfortable experience. However, I still stand by my views that it is a fun ride; just a shame the restraints can cause it to be otherwise.
Drayton Manor is a nice park all in all, and given it's a small park, it's done well for itself. But there's a few rides which are very cheap and laughable which need sorting out, I imagine on a busy day it's a bad place to be in (queue board times to some description would be nice for example), and there's some things lacking (audio on all rides for example). I don't want to end on a negative note, as I enjoyed the place and had a fabulous day out, and if you take it for what it is, it is good. I definitely would recommend people trying it out (especially if you have a voucher of some description), there are some good rides there which make it worth going there once.
Visiting has given me the extra incentive to try out other parks as well. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but it's more that I've been a been a bit blasé about it all. However, after yesterday's experience, I now have an urge to try parks new and different (and who knows, might even crack Europe next year!)
I'll leave with perhaps the best photo of the day; our last ride on Ben 10:

For the first in about 10 or 11 years, I visited a non-Merlin theme park. It's been a long time coming, and anywhere was a start. And that start was to be Drayton Manor.
After such a beautiful week, Saturday decided to take a turn for the worst, and give us rain, thunder, lightning (though with a couple of breaks of sunshine during the day!). Adam picked me up and we arrived at Drayton around 9ish. Even though we were early, we could tell it was gonna be quiet day, and thank goodness, after some of the horror stories I'd heard about the park's operations.

We arrived to some sun, though we could tell dark times were ahead.
Half 9 came and the park opened. One of the first things which confuse me about the park is opening the park at 9:30, but not the rides until 10:30. There's not really enough to do for a whole hour, other than the small zoo, which we headed to straight away.

Tigers are a'coming.

A chimpanzee looks to Apocalypse in the distance.
Rides were testing so we headed over to G Force (which apparently had been closed for a couple of days) and we were pretty much first in the queue. 10:30 came and it opened; yay. This was my first coaster with inversions that had lap bars, and I'd heard some pretty poor things about it, but kept an open mind. And yeah, I thought it was quite fun. My first ride didn't give me any problems with the restraints, and it was a fun, fast-paced ride. I did get a bit of air time as well, which is nice. It's an odd ride (especially with the "humpety bumpety" lift) and seems to do all the best bits at the beginning, giving a week end, but hey-ho, it's a fun enough ride.

My G Force face.
Next up was the big, new thing - Air Race. I wasn't quite sure how it'd ride, what with the continual spinning and moving and stuff, but it was actually really good. The rocking start is very good, and then it just keeps spinning, round and round and round. It doesn't get boring, and there's some nice moments where you're left hanging upside down for quite a while. Near the end of the ride, we started spinning in the opposite direction. Would be nice if it did it sooner, just to mix it up a little, but hey ho. On a ride later on in the day, we counted that we went upside 18 times (sorry Smiler! ).

Air Race does have a nice entrance feature though.

Air Race's queue line is a nice cattlepen - like many of Drayton's queue - and has a TV playing annoying things.
Shockwave followed. Have to say, the station and theming in the queue line is quite nice actually. The seats and restraints on this thing though is very, erm, eurgh. Yeah, I'll go with eurgh. They're not comfortable and they just don't feel right. The ride itself has two highlights - a random little dip before going onto the lift, and the zero-g roll (which is actually incredible). The rest is uncomfortable, rattly or boring. There vertical loop was bleurgh, the double corkscrew is verging on painful and then the random straight bits are unimaginative (though, at least they don't try to castrate you). Now I see why so few stand ups have been built...

Found in Shockwave's queueline - made me chuckle...
Next up was Splash Canyon, the park's rapids. It was barely 11 o'clock, but we were already soaking wet, so water rides wouldn't make much difference. Fun little ride, not that wet really, though the indoor section did take me off guard.
Another water ride followed, and this time it was in the famous Stormforce 10. I'd heard a lot of good things about this, so I was excited. Have to say, the queue - which we once again walked through - is nicely themed and works really well. Onto the ride itself. The first drop is nice, and the way it's done was unexpected by me. Then wandering through the random waterfall is cool. The second drop, the backwards one, was a shock. We were sat at the very back, which meant we got the full force of water. For a split second, I thought I was on Tidal Wave I was that wet. Brilliant water ride. Not-so brilliant for when the weather is already chucking it down. Final drop is quite nice too. So yeah, a great water ride all in all, but I'll try to avoid the back next time...
A quick spin on Malestrom (nothing really to say about this, just a nice filler really) and drying off in one of the heater things (which was so worth it given how wet we were...), it was time to venture indoors for Pirate Adventure. It's an indoor boat ride which is basically a knock off of Pirates of the Caribbean. Have to say it's alright, though it seemed like a lot of the animatronics were broke. The ending was super anti-climatic too, which was a shame. For the record, this was probably our longest queue of the day at an amazingly long 15 minutes. Goes to show how quiet it was I guess. A go on the dodgems, sponsored by Free Radio, followed, and they were pretty decent.
Food followed in the Safari Pizza & Pasta:

Very nice indoors restaurant located by the zoo. Indoors there's loads of animal animatronics which move and stuff and it was quite a nice atmosphere in there. (By the way, unlike Merlin's Pizza / Pasta, this isn't all you can eat in case you're wondering. We just had a nice pizza and wedges meal).
We headed over to Ben 10: Ultimate Mission, the world's first Vekoma Junior Boomerang. It looked surprisingly tall and quick for a junior coaster, and I have to admit, it was one coaster I was really looking forward to. Again, there was next to no queue, which was great. The majority of the queue is indoors, and is very well themed, with aliens, loads of 'high tech' stuff, noises, lights, etc., and a false corridor which tricked Adam and I. Very, very good.

Aliens.
First ride gifted us with front row. Being lifted up backwards was a nice sensation, though the stop is very harsh and judders you around a bit. Then you're dropped down and you pick up a lot of speed very quickly, meander around a bit, then up a random wiggle. You hear the laser fire and do backward to the station. It's a short ride of course, but it's great. It has a bit of everything and left both of us happy. No doubt kids love the ride as well. It's certainly Drayton's most complete ride and is fun for everyone. What's even more impressive is how it takes up so little room. Given the lack of queue, we went straight back round to do it again, which is a testament to the ride's quality.

Look at that joy.
Afterwards, we ventured to what I'll nickname 'dark ride row'. We started off with The Haunting, a Vekoma madhouse. Much like Hex, it has two pre-shows before the ride. The first pre-show is very nicely done, with some TVs giving you an introduction, and one or two nice effects used. The second pre-show isn't as good I found, going on for a bit too long, and that you couldn't always hear what was being said. The actual madhouse itself is good, with a nice ending I thought. So all in all it is a nice ride, but it also showed by just how good Hex is as well. Haunting is great in its own right, but Hex is in a different league.
Next door was Golden Nugget - Wild West Shoot Out. As the name suggests, it's a gun-based ride where you shoot things for points. Other than the name and logo, there's no reference to the Golden Nugget cereal. It's a very cheap ride clearly, and to be honest, is quite laughable. It's nice that some things happen when you hit the target though. But still, not a great ride. We ended dark ride row with Drunken Barrels, the tilting teacups. They were good fun, and the plate actually tipped, but our cup was way too stiff to spin.
It was now time for the last major ride (in my opinion), Apocalypse. Decided to go in at the deep end and do stand up first (though, unfortunately, the floorless seating wasn't available today). The seats are okay - more comfortable than Shockwave's at least! - and the tilt is a great twist; did get me a little bit. However, the drop itself is okay at best. Just doesn't really get me as much as I'd hoped. Though the suddenness of the drop is a nice touch. Sit down followed straight away, and I think I prefer that seating arrangement due to the added comfort. One thing which disappointed me with this (and a lot of Drayton in general actually) was the lack of audio, apart from the occasional siren. No atmosphere, very little tension and it just felt like the ride could have been so much more intimidating with some sort of background noise.
We decided to get some other rides done, including Flying Dutchman - yet another odd Drayton ride - and Buffalo Coaster. Buffalo is quite possibly the weirdest coaster I've done, with an odd layout, monorail-like speeds, yet the occasional okay bit. It goes on forever as well. I feels like it's time should be nearly up, and the space and surrounding area would be great for a family coaster (hi there Mack!). Oh, one laughable thing about Buffalo - on our ride, the train overshot the station, meaning the people in the front row couldn't get out, and had to have another go (I feel for the poor souls).
I would do a list of all the things which are more useful than Buffalo, but I think I'd be here for too long...

Buffalo with Apocalypse in the background. The Buffalo should look a lot more sad though.
We then went to the other side of the park to venture round Thomas Land. Looks nice, and I know that my younger self would have exploded with excitement to be there. Only ride we did round here was Troublesome Trucks Runaway Coaster. For a ride set in Thomas Land, it was actually alright, and the ending on it was a specific highlight. Great ride for the younger market.

We saw Percy whilst queueing fro Troublesome Trucks.

NEW FOR 2015. Funnily enough, when you're in the park, you don't really recognise the construction going on. When you're outside the park, by the entrance, you see the site, but have no idea what it's for.
With basically everything done, it was time for rerides aplenty. Air Race, G Force and Shockwave were all done again, as was Ben 10. After a while, a storm came over, bringing more rain, thunder and lightning, bringing most rides to a close (as an interesting fact, Apocalypse was hit by lightning this past week ). One of the few rides which remained open was Polperro Express Train; a short train ride which goes round part of the park. It gave some nice views of Shockwave, Stormforce 10, G Force and the rapids, and it was a nice break from the rain.
Some rides slowly began reopening, so we were able to get a few more rides in (including on the Golden Nugget ride since it was indoors, and just so we could laugh at it's awfulness some more). We ended up riding Ben 10 five times during the day, which I think shows how it is indeed a good ride for the park. The day ended off with a ride on G Force, and it was the only one where I had an uncomfortable experience. However, I still stand by my views that it is a fun ride; just a shame the restraints can cause it to be otherwise.
Drayton Manor is a nice park all in all, and given it's a small park, it's done well for itself. But there's a few rides which are very cheap and laughable which need sorting out, I imagine on a busy day it's a bad place to be in (queue board times to some description would be nice for example), and there's some things lacking (audio on all rides for example). I don't want to end on a negative note, as I enjoyed the place and had a fabulous day out, and if you take it for what it is, it is good. I definitely would recommend people trying it out (especially if you have a voucher of some description), there are some good rides there which make it worth going there once.
Visiting has given me the extra incentive to try out other parks as well. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but it's more that I've been a been a bit blasé about it all. However, after yesterday's experience, I now have an urge to try parks new and different (and who knows, might even crack Europe next year!)
I'll leave with perhaps the best photo of the day; our last ride on Ben 10: