Marhelorpe

Precisely, as we were told last year by almost certainly the same people that 2018 was “the best Fright Nights yet”. Look at how that ended... I just hope this year the park don’t just focus purely on the scare mazes and instead look at all other areas which contribute to the event. Things such as park lightning, decorations and audio are just as important I’d say, especially for those not wishing to go in the mazes. Last thing I want to see are X’s lights flashing all over the entrance bridge again... it looked ruddy awful last year.

It’s better than nothing don’t forget...

“Our most intense maze ever” Man, I genuinely cannot wait to see what the vloggers such as Park Pixie, Coaster Click and Backseat Boiiii have to say about this, sounds as if they’re gonna have a field day over it!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t there one time they had some in the scenes during one of their ScareFest events one year? That’s what I remember reading.

There have been some whispers lately that apparently Hex has received actors inside the show rooms this summer and I can now confirm this is indeed the case after trying the ride today. But rather than enhance the experience, in my view, this change has bastardised the ride instead. Now, I realise in the past this ride has had actors in the show buildings so this is not a new concept, but the way the actor interacted with the guests was honestly shameful to what the intention and design of this attraction was intended for. Here’s how it went: The cinema room remains the same and everything up until that point was as it typically is, but as soon as the doors opened into the Octagon room, there was an actor with a torch in his hands shining at us telling us to “move along and follow me” obnoxiously loudly. We did so and once we gathered in the room near the TV screens, he started babbling lines about welcoming us to this historic site and that we should be observing all the artefacts around us before the screens started. He even injected some humour into the mix trying not to confuse his co-worker Boris for the PM... (*golf clap*) But anyway, once the video finished and the equipment was malfunctioning, he proceeded to begin shouting “Stay calm ladies and gents! Remain where you are! It’s only a temporary glitch...”. From this point where the strobe lights occurred, he just aimlessly started flashing his torch in our faces, pointing the light randomly with an OTT reaction coupled with screams in sync to the effects used, almost as if this scene is meant to be funny, like a Dungeon scene. Once it all ended, he shouted again at us to proceed up the stairs flashing his light all across the room. At this point I thought ‘okay, now that’s over, we won’t see him again. Right?’ Errrrm no... As we walked up to the vault doors, he then followed us and started talking loudly again saying “You enjoying the tour so far?” with more humorous lines added in such as “We don’t have vault manuals” when there was a delay boarding. Finally, we took our seats and this was the cream of the crop for me. He once again started shouting loudly at everyone telling them to take our seats (talking over the pre-recorded message inside the vault) and once the bars lowered, he stood near the entrance doors shining the torch in his face, and then gave us all a menacing look saying “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the vault, enjoy!” and then walked out with an evil laugh just before the ride began, with the whole room laughing too... and then the rest follows through until the end of the experience. I was just sitting there thinking “the heck?!” the whole time. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly fine with actors having a bit of fun with guests and injecting humour into the mix, as in a lot of cases, it works pretty well - The Dungeons being a good example. But Hex is not meant to be humorous, loud or obnoxious one bit and this change has completely devalued the ride experience in my view. Gone is the quiet, eerie atmosphere inside; gone is the feeling of isolation as you explore the ruins; gone is the feeling of tension; gone (for now) is the ride I love. Instead, we now have a spare actor left behind from Sub Terra/Ghost Train who has learnt how to combine his shouting skills with the accent of an Alton Towers Dungeon performer, who then proceeds to overlay that in three different scenes, eliminating any atmosphere the ride used to have. Nothing against the actor personally, I just feel this is a very bad move by the park and hope the change is gone as soon as possible.

Can’t make this one I’m afraid (at present) on whichever day is selected that weekend. You all have a good time!

Not sure if this is an old change done, but I’ve started noticing some rides at the park now have a new announcement which is manually controlled by the staff, presumably through a new PA system for each attraction. Just now, I saw a staff member from Detonator play a pre-recorded announcement which was along the lines of “We hope you’re having a great day at Thorpe Park Resort. Why not upgrade to a season pass?” with some guff that followed after. This is the 3rd time I’ve noticed it now; once on Detonator, once on Ghost Train and another park-wide (I believe) within the last couple months. It appears the park are now playing adverts intermittently over the individual ride PA systems by the staff members. EDIT: Just heard it again today around Colossus’ cobra roll.

Oh man, it appears “future for theme parks” is reaching new levels of low today in the middle of summer. Besides from having an awful run through the attraction this afternoon, with numerous effects, audio, lighting and hardware not working, the cream of the crop goes to this:

Given I’m likely not going to get any new coaster creds for the rest of 2019 now I’ve done the trips I’ve wanted, here’s how my top 10 mixed coaster list stands as of this year. Had to reshuffle a few: 1. Untamed - Walibi Holland. 2. Helix - Liseberg. 3. Taron - Phantasialand. 4. Shambhala - PortAventura 5. Icon - Blackpool Pleasure Beach. 6. Wodan - Europa Park. 7. Black Mamba - Phantasialand. 8. Valkyria - Liseberg. 9. Troy - Toverland. 10. Wildfire - Kolmården Zoo.

Still awaiting for the return of the mighty Dead End: Terror Zone... 9 years later. That thing was incredible, especially seeing the Tesco Value Halloween masks used by the staff.

Given they are still hanging onto TWD as an IP to sell the event for a 3rd year running, and that Do or Die is returning given how ominously awful it was, I ain’t holding my breath on this year being anything but a minuscule improvement compared to 2018. The new “chilling challenge” I’m certain is gonna be where Jungle Escape is. Wouldn’t surprise me if it’s just Vulcan Peak: Escape Edition with a £5 fee labelled to it. And as for the new maze, hopefully it’s better than last year’s immersive experience of nothing but toilet bowls, pallet crates, black tunnels and Asylum’s chicken wire fencing used as “theming” which we got with Dead Creek Woods. Yeah, as you can probably tell, I ain’t enthused one bit after last year’s embarrassment with this announcement today. Hopefully that’ll change when the event gets nearer though, as I want this event to be great like it once was...

I did the trip there via public transport and here’s how you get there. Once you know the station names, it’s quite straight-forward to get there directly from the airport: 1. From Amsterdam train stations (central, airport etc), take a service to ‘Harderwijk’, which is about a 70 minute train journey with one or two changeovers. About €15 each way, any route can be used. 2. At Harderwijk station, there is a bus station area right next to the tourist information building with about 8 different bays. Go to stop ‘G’ and take service 247 or 247a which says “Walibi” on the sign. 3. The times that depart in the morning to the park from this stop are the following: 9:22am, 9:52am, 10:22am and 10:52am for the first four. After that, it’s pretty much every 30 minutes all day. It’s €9 exactly for a return ticket. This bus will take you directly to the park entrance plaza and the last bus back after park closure from memory was at 20:33 for the 8pm summer days. Be aware that the bus is pretty packed, similar to the Thorpe ones and they only take card payments or a travel card similar to oysters (which is aimed more for the locals than tourists). Cash will not be accepted at all and yes, the buses do support Visa, MasterCard and Maestro contactless, including Revolut cards which was extremely handy in my case. As for the trains, I would advise you to use their smartphone app called “NS Reisplanner Xtra” on either iOS or Android to book tickets and show the QR code to the conductor onboard when asked like I did. It is in English too this app so no translation problems. I stayed at a hotel in Harderwijk for a couple of nights and from there, it’s pretty easy to get to the park, so the important bit is to make sure you reach Harderwijk bus station in all this.

I ain’t apologising for anything I have said about RMC previously my acquaintance, as I retain the view that as a company, they create designs which are questionable in execution in a few areas, even after riding Untamed yesterday and here’s why. Untamed as a coaster layout-wise is fantastic. There’s no question about that. It’s a lot of fun from start to end with lots of surprisingly forceful elements, the least of which are those bunny hills at the end just before the final inversion. They were fantastic on the back row! I also love the fact that this ride is perfect proof that height and speed are not what makes an amazing ride either, as whilst it’s not the tallest or fastest on the market, it certainly packs one heck of a punch still despite it’s limitations. Kinda similar to Wicker Man which is also proof that height and speed are not everything. However, I am going to say this again, but after enjoying Untamed hugely, I still believe RMC as a whole are once again in an enormous hype bubble at the moment (aka - newcomer DBGT hype) where people say there’s no faults with them and anyone who dares to criticise RMC should be witch-hunted for it, hence the reference. And there are still areas where I question their design an awful lot which some people overlook, just purely and simply because it’s an RMC coaster to them. For example, I’ve been reading reviews for Untamed and heard from others the seats on them are more giving and spacious compared to older RMC’s such as Wildfire, where there’s more legroom, more accommodation, thinner shin restraints etc. That is all complete and utter b*llocks. They feel no different to Wildfire, the legroom was identical and the shin brackets still caused me a great deal of discomfort on the ride, probably more than Wildfire due to the more extreme airtime on it in all honesty. But being my 2nd RMC, I was far more impressed by Untamed than I was for Wildfire this time and despite having bruised shins after, the ride itself made up for that. This RMC actually delivered, unlike “Mildfire” which was supposedly what many claimed the “2nd best RMC in the world” which, in my view, I can’t believe one jolt anymore. RMC to me as a company are still in a lot of hype right now and in my experience after trying Untamed, I do concede what I said a little by now saying that whilst some of their products do deliver, others do not, which is why I’m still not looking at them as a whole thinking they are gods at coaster design. They make great rides, but also make overhyped rides.

Update, ye be wrong.

If we think seeing Saw Alive having it’s boat being painted over the wrong shade of colour is awful, wait until you all have a good look at the state of the blue supports underneath the bridge connecting the entrance to the Dome when standing next to Vortex...... my goodness. To me though, whether a ride is operational or not, that does not give the park any excuse to do botch jobs such as this, because supposedly the majority of consumers wouldn’t care nor notice something like that. No matter how you spin this, it is still something a paying customer is going to be presented with when they enter the park, alongside a rusting S&S structure and a quite literally rotting log flume. It does not leave a positive impression to guests when they see derelict attractions. If the park intend to dismantle these three rides so that they no longer appear visible to park guests in the future, I can excuse this, but we all know that will not be the case, let’s be honest. At this point, I say either repurpose the boat for something else and redecorate the exterior, or dismantle it to make way for something better and more sustainable for the long-term future of the park (flat ride hint hint).

*cough* The Passing *cough*

Whether or not the company do an excellent job at converting existing wooden coasters into much more enjoyable and thrilling ones is almost meaningless to the consumer. All the consumer cares about at the end of the day is whether or not the ride itself is actually any damn good. Sure, it is impressive statistically what they do as a company and Untamed here looks pretty bloomin’ great, but how does it ride is the bigger question in all this. And after my experience on Wildfire not long ago, I can tell you right now that to me, RMC are like the Derren Brown’s Ghost Train of roller coasters - sounds amazing, looks amazing, lots of hype, but very questionable execution in many areas, the least of that being the trains/restraint design. Wildfire was sold to me as the “2nd best RMC in the world” before riding and I cannot name another ride which has left me feeling so underwhelmed before after riding it. It had horrific pacing issues, the restraints are uncomfortable on your shins especially and the train’s design has a lot to be desired. So I was left there scratching my head thinking “what’s all the fuss about with these coasters?”, which is why I completely get where JoshC is coming from in this. Broaden your views outside of Steel Vengeance and you’ll see this company has some fundamental flaws in their coasters in my view. I’ll be giving Untamed a go very soon, hoping this is better than my last experience of an RMC, as the layout looks a lot more interesting and the restraints look more giving (thank Christ). Not expecting to be blown away by this ride however, just pleased at the very least.

And the award for the world’s worst setting on a Mondial Top Scan goes to...... A6BB990D-FA25-4104-86F2-7D46AFE05E70.MOV (Taken on 15/06/19) And yes, every cycle was like this. The claw span the opposite direction to the arm for the entire ride, making it the most boring and dire experience you can possibly imagine. Never seen it this bad ever before.

Now we know why BounceZilla is free - to build up the main queue enough to a point where it will encourage people to buy Fastrack for the thing. I mean, just... wow. Three different queues for a bleedin' bouncy castle...... Happy 40th Anniversary folk!

It might be to do with how jarring it looks. If this attraction was more subtle with it's colours and fitted in with Thorpe's sky blue colour and the rest of Lost City, then maaaaaaaaaybe this would have been alright. But with colours as bright as this and looking so blatantly out-of-place next to the lake and Colossus/Rush/Zodiac, it looks visually revolting. This is just humiliating for the park, similarly to Love Island Lates last year and this will only be 'popular' because it's free. I guarantee if this was an upcharge attraction, the majority of guests would tell Thorpe to shove BounceZilla up where the sun don't shine.

The park will then close it and display an un-clipped, cable-tied A4 laminated sign on the temporary fencing surrounding the area saying "BounceZilla will make a splashback soon!".

A new low for Thorpe. My word.... ?

Alright, I have also now ridden Wildfire, to which I have finally lost my RMC virginity and to be brutally honest and truthful here, I was underwhelmed with it. I realise I am going to be the only person on the planet who didn't think too much of this, so are expecting shots to be fired left, right and centre, especially given how much hype is surrounding RMC's at the moment everywhere you look online. But I was expecting to be monumentally blown away by this thing after so many fanatics and 'enthusiasts' claim this is one of the best coasters in the world and best models of coaster on the market; and I was desperately seeking and secretly hoping it was going to top Helix finally as my number 1 coaster. Sadly, it is far from that spot after over 15 rides on the thing and heck, it's not even a top 5 coaster to me. Why you might ask? The answer is simple - poor design. The first design flaw is Wildfire through POVs online might show the thing being relentless from beginning to end and only slowing down a little bit when going through the 2nd inversion and towards the end of the layout, but my goodness, this proves looks can be really deceptive. There are two points on this coaster where it barely trawls through it's circuit to the point I thought it was going to stall at one point. These two moments are pace-killers on this coaster and that's a major fault with the design of it's layout through my eyes. It's Icon's first inversion kind of slow we are talking about here and to me, any coaster which has weak spots like this is a massive turn-off. Most coasters suffer moments like this whether it's Taron's trim brakes, Icon's weak 1st half, Nemesis' stall turn or Helix's launches for example, but the idea of going from 74mph to less than 10mph in the space of less than 10 seconds is quite extraordinary for a coaster model many claim to be amazingly quick and zippy, so it hinders the ride hugely in my view. So that's the first fault. The second fault is you may also hear some reviews say Wildfire is a ride which as it 'warms up' gets faster during the day and therefore becomes more intense, and by golly, they were not wrong here. It is so inconsistent with speed. The difference between riding this thing in the morning as opposed to the late afternoon is like night and day. It's not a little difference, it's a huge difference. As mentioned above, the coaster barely makes it through the circuit if you ride this in the morning and it feels close to stalling, but give it a few more hours and the ride is much faster through every element and made it far more enjoyable. This is also noticeable with a full train with higher potential energy compared to an empty one. I understand almost every coaster in existence suffers this same fault of 'warming up' to some degree, but my word, I wasn't expecting a difference as large as this on Wildfire. And lastly, the biggest fault I had with this coaster also falls under all other RMC's out there to be fair, and that's the restraint design. Whilst the seats are comfy enough to sit in, there are these horrible leg 'brackets' I like to call them which clamp down on your shins giving you almost no room at all to move or adjust your legs. This posed a major problem for me and caused a lot of discomfort when being flung everywhere, because I could feel these digging into my shins really badly through some elements. Plus, when I look at them on the trains, they look and feel like a needless thing to add, especially if you are in the back two seats of each of the six 4-seater carriages. The seats are deep enough to prevent this and the two directly in front are enough to stop you sticking your legs out, so to me, these are not necessary. As a workaround, something similar to the GCI wooden coasters with a small walled shield by your feet would work far better in my eyes, similar to what you see on Wicker Man, Balder and Wodan for example. Now I understand not everyone will have this problem and it only really poses a problem for the more... 'bulky' guests to put it in PC terms, but I didn't enjoy having my shins pinned down by a force of over 4G and 12 airtime moments on this coaster one bit. It caused some major discomfort which reminded me of levels similar to Colossus' restraints in all honesty, and if every other RMC has this, including Steel Vengeance, then I frankly have very little interest in being clamped down like this again. Partly what makes Helix, Taron, Shambhala, Icon and Wodan my top coasters is these all offer some very comfortable seating which accommodates people of all shapes and sizes, but Wildfire felt very restrictive and is a massive thumbs down from me in this area. But all this aside, there's no denying there are some fantastic elements to this coaster and I am very pleased to have finally ridden it! The interaction between the coaster and the natural hillside terrain of the zoo is unparalleled to anything else I have seen before and the setting of this ride is brilliant. The views alone from the top at the crow's nest turnaround alone are worth just getting on this ride in my view. The 81 degree drop is phenomenal, especially if you are on the back row with airtime on the same levels as Shambhala I'd say (though not as extreme as Helix), and the transition into the stalled zero-g roll was quite something. It was a very strange sensation, but a wicked one! The 3rd inversion is great also and flies through it very fast, and the titled airtime hill before plunging through a shed filled with smoke was very intense, especially as it 'warmed-up' later in the day. So by no means am I saying this is an awful coaster in anyway, it's just hindered by a few crucial design faults in my view. After haven now ridden an RMC, I can see the appeal they have behind them as they do things no other coaster from B&M, Mack or Intamin can ever achieve, but they just aren't my cup of tea unfortunately. Wildfire was great fun no doubt and I can happily say I have finally ridden one of these coasters, but honestly, it is my opinion and belief to think that the obsession at the minute with RMC is down to pure hype; hype which reminds me of the days of Derren Brown's Ghost Train frankly - they are a bold idea with some excellent visions, but the execution is questionable in a few areas. In a nutshell, to everyone out there who is pleading Thorpe Park to build one of these over the site of Loggers Leap, whilst you could be in for a great ride no doubt, just be careful what you wish for and try one for yourself outside of Steel Vengeance before making that judgement. I myself whilst I really enjoyed Wildfire believe RMC's as a whole are at the 'hype-bubble' stage currently and remain reserved about riding another one unless some fundamental design changes are made to their trains. But again, I still enjoyed it and give it 7/10!

*(At the time of looking in both stores as shown below on the shelves): That added asterik better now? On a separate side-note, that obnoxious siren played at the end of the day park-wide again.

The 40 merchandise is already proving popular. Both lanyards and pin badges sold out* in all shops.