ben199

I hope this is really bad satire?

Been to the park twice now since DBGT opened and both times it's been down for the whole visit. Obviously I understand that downtime is a thing but it shouldn't take three (at least I hope!) trips to the park to have a go on the new ride.

Totally forgot about that bit after the MCBR on Saw, always catches me off-guard! Something like Lightning Run would be amazing and would probably go down well with the public. Unfortunately the only way I can see a Merlin park getting an airtime machine is if it's a hyper they can market as the tallest in the country which won't happen anytime soon and I can't see parks like Drayton investing in a new coaster in the next few years. At least you can fly to Sweden for 15 quid... Edit: Or wait two years until that Mack Mega happens

Airtime for me is my favourite part of a coaster but here in the UK we're definitely missing a pure airtime machine. However there's a few nice negative G moments sprinkled across the coasters we have. The camelback on Speed definitely takes the crown for me, it's not particularly sustained but what there is is pure ejector. Honourable mentions go to the second speed hill on Smiler, the camelback on Saw and the drop after the first turnaround on Megafobia in the back seat. What do you guys think?

Popped in after work for the last half hour yesterday solely to try out the ghost train. Wasn't open so straight back in the car to go home, bit disappointed but I guess these things happen. The admissions staff were super helpful and called through to see if it was open then helped me out the car park so I didn't have to pay so great job done by them

The only ride I found slightly sub par was Carnaval Festival. It's in no way a bad ride, I'd just been so spoiled by the other stuff. It is great how much care they take over the older rides, I had a quick look online at what rides used to be there and over the 50+ years they've only removed two rides which is just astounding. I imagine this is partly due to how much space they have but it's good to see them put the effort into keeping such a rounded selection of attractions open. Unfortunately we had to miss Aquanura so we could get back at a reasonable time but it just gives me another reason to visit again, this is definitely a two day park so trying and failing to get everything done in about nine hours like I did was a bit frustrating to say the least. Lovely to see another Efteling fan on the forum!

Here's our ORP on George and the Dragon as well as me looking very excited outside the entrance

A few weeks ago I returned from a holiday to Amsterdam which of course included a trip to Efteling, one of the biggest theme parks in Europe. I'd read a bit about the park beforehand and wasn't too sure what to expect. On the one hand Baron looked like an excellent coaster and the atmosphere seemed so quaint and lovely but I was worried that the park would be too kiddie focused and as an adult there wouldn't be enough to interest me. Quick spoiler warning, I will be discussing parts of some attractions which I wouldn't have wanted spoiling myself so if you've got a trip planned please don't read this! The day started with an early wake up and by 7AM we were out of the apartment and on our way to Amsterdam Central Station. From here the journey is two trains and a bus which took around 1:45 from the station to the park gates which isn't too bad considering it's literally on the other side of the country! My park buddy today was my lovely girlfriend Laura who holds a single figure coaster count and isn't really a theme park fan at all so I was interested to see what she made of the place. The journey went by fairly quickly on the comfy Dutch double decker trains and the bus from the train station to the park was blissfully peaceful compared to the rowdy Thorpe bus. The whole Dutch culture is just so pleasant and this really reflected in the park too. Anyway the bus soon arrived fifteen minutes before park opening and we were strolling up the path towards the ridiculously huge and grand entrance (pictured later). Now this is how you make a first impression and a statement about the quality of your park, it built up the hype so much and once inside the structure we were through the turnstiles quickly and into the park. First up was Bob which was a decent bobsleigh. My only point of comparison here is Avalanche at Blackpool and I preferred Bob as the smaller cars made you feel much more vulnerable and like you're on a real life bobsleigh. It's a fun ride with some good swing up the corners and the theming was minimal but still managed to create an atmosphere. The queue line meanders through a forest, the station is nicely Swiss themed and there's a good soundtrack. From here it was a short walk to Baron 1898 (the lovely new B&M dive coaster) which unfortunately was not yet ready to open so we carried on to The Flying Dutchman, the parks rather unique dark ride/roller coaster/water ride hybrid and it absolutely blew me away. I'm talking Universal/Disney levels of quality here in terms of theming and atmosphere which I just was not expecting from this park. From the highly detailed facade outside the entrance you could tell it was going to be good and the theming continues inside as you walk through a dungeon and a 17th century pub before reaching the huge nighttime harbour where the ride loads. Once you leave the harbour it's pitch black and very foggy with only a dim lamp at the front of the boat illuminating the scene and nothing else around. All you can see is the fog surrounding the boat as it creeps forward into the darkness and even though you're just sitting inside a big warehouse in Holland you genuinely feel isolated and out at sea. After this was the most convincing fog projection screen I've ever seen where the Flying Dutchman jumps out of the sea and right into your face then there's two lift hills and a surprise drop where various ghosts and ships are flying around while rain effects beat down on you. There's also some great projection mapping of a ghostly demon sentencing you just before the doors open and you're thrust into the coaster section which was good for what it was, the camelback had a bit of airtime and the overbank was fun. It wouldn't work as a standalone coaster but as a small piece of a larger attraction it fits in well. I was fully ready to brace myself for the splashdown but weirdly all the water falls outside the boat however it still looks cool and is the perfect finale for the ride. Finally, after all the action there's a long, slow float along the lake back into the station. The whole thing is just so immersive and really varied. I love how quickly the atmosphere changes from the station in the lively harbour with its jaunty soundtrack to the cold emptiness of the out at sea section to the action packed and intense section with the lift hills. It moves along at such a quick pace and the roller coaster is the perfect cherry on top. My only complaint is that the dark ride section is a little short but I'd rather take a few minutes of brilliance over something longer and dragged out. While in the queue for Dutchman they announced over the PA that Baron had opened so that was our next stop. Unfortunately, Laura wasn't feeling up for this one so I made use of the single rider line. There's a very unique (notice I say this word a lot during this report!) loading system where at the front of the queueline before you enter the building you're batched and given a ticket with your row number on. After this you're then sent into the building with just two trains worth of guests and after the pre-show you hand an attendant your ticket and line up at the right airgate. This is a great idea as it means once you're inside the ride and immersed in the story and theming there's not a break in the flow where you're asked how many's in your group and sent to a gate, you just flow straight from the pre-show to the coaster itself without any faff. The first pre-show sets the tone nicely and introduces the story of a new mining site plagued with ghosts called the White Ladies. There's some jaw droppingly smooth projection mapping that interacts nicely with the shape of the room as the ghosts hijack the baron's introductory video and float around the room singing a haunting chant. The room is then plunged into darkness before the lights come back on revealing no sign of the ghosts. Next you walk up some stairs where an animatronic of the baron shouts Dutch things at you then it's time to wait behind your gate to board the coaster. Unlike most coasters the gates aren't these flimsy looking chest height things but actual doors that block off your view to the loading area so when you're waiting for them to open you feel like a mine worker about to enter a mine as opposed to a punter waiting to ride a coaster. Once on board the train stops after leaving the station and the White Ladies appear once again to attack the car. Here there's another projection mapping scene with lots of subtle animation in the room to accompany the projections which really makes you feel that the ghosts are there with you. The car then rises up the lift hill and the coaster begins. The ride itself is very good but nothing extraordinary, it's very standard smooth and floaty B&M stuff which definitely isn't a bad thing. The drop is very much like Oblivions but not quite as sustained, the zero G roll is nice and snappy and there's a very small bunny hop towards the end which doesn't look like much but gives some quite intense floater. I think my thoughts on Baron can be summed up by how much I've written about the overall experience of the ride compared to how little I've written about the actual coaster itself. If this was bare and just plonked on a slab of concrete it would still be a very decent ride but the theming and pre-shows bring it up to a whole other level. Next up was Carnaval Festival, the parks It's a Small World knock off. It's a fun and colourful ride but there's no plot, it's just six minutes of travelling past various animatronics and models of different nationalities. I enjoyed my ride but felt no need to reride later in the day. Just next door was another indoor ride, the Vogel Rok coaster. I went in expecting it to be a slightly improved X but it was actually a brilliant ride. The enormous bird outside is an awesome entrance but once inside the queue is pretty much a cattlepen, however it moves quickly enough to not feel tiresome. The ride itself feels a little taller than X, the swoops are much bigger and the ride feels a lot faster and more forceful. It's still very much a family coaster but being in the dark completely unaware of the layout to come is a thrilling feeling. Dotted around the coaster are a few laser effects and some large bird models that light up and appear to swoop very near to the train and the whole experience is wrapped up nicely by a rather grand on board soundtrack which adds so much to the ride. From here it was a long walk to the bottom left corner of the park where the next bunch of attractions we wanted to do were. In terms of size the park feels slightly larger than Alton Towers but every inch of path is so beautifully landscaped and in a lot of cases themed with lots of interesting buildings to look at meaning there's no long boring walks to the next ride. There's also no deadspots such as the walk from Gloomy Wood to Forbidden Valley, it's just a really pleasant park to spend time in even when not on the rides. Soon we made it to the Marerijk area of the park where we got our Raveleijn show tickets from the dispenser then rode the rides nearby while waiting for the show to start. First up was Dreamflight, a suspended dark ride which takes you through various fairy tale landscapes. Within the opening few scenes I was worried that I wouldn't enjoy a ride about fairies in their forests but I got so immersed and engrossed in the rides world. The ride consists of about five or six really large room sets that you fly around connected by tunnels between each scene and each one is so richly themed everywhere you look. Each scene is quite different, there's some forests and gardens but also a castle one and an absolutely stunning nighttime scene where you fly past a hub of floating cities in the sky. Over the course of the ride you gradually gain height which leads to a finale where you spiral down through a huge forest (this bit picks up some speed and felt so coaster like that I had to check the RCDB after) which works well as the bottom of the forest is so detailed that you notice more and more things the lower down you spiral. All in all a really beautiful dark ride. Next we had a ride on Villa Volta, a madhouse with a very long and drawn out series of pre-shows in Dutch which went completely over our heads. The ride itself was worth the wait though as it's a fantastic illusion. I don't really know what else to say here as minus the pre-shows it was pretty much just Hex which you've all experienced! Upon exiting there was a huge downpour of rain so we hid under the edge of a stall and ate a huge strip of friend potato wrapped around a stick and covered in BBQ powder. It tasted great and soon the rain cleared and it was time to make our way into the Raveleijn arena. I'm normally not a fan of theme park shows, I'd rather skip them to get more rides in but this is an absolute must do at Efteling. There's horses on fire, really intense swordfights and then suddenly an enormous fire breathing dragon just pops out of nowhere and a load of knights take it on! There's so many different stunts and effects going on and once it gets going its just nonstop action, you can tell the park blew so much money on the production and it was really worth it. At this point we'd almost finished a lap of the park so headed back towards the entrance via the Fairytale Forest. I was vaguely aware of its existence but I was shocked at the scale of it, it's absolutely huge and offers so many different routes. We only stumbled across our route by accident as we were lost and it was the quickest way to our next ride but I'm glad we did as we probably wouldn't have bothered with this area of the park otherwise. All the scenes are nicely animated and it's all very charming and quirky, if I had more time in the park I would have definitely liked to see more. Fata Morgana was next and the palace the ride is housed in looked amazing across the lake as we approached it. The ride uses a tow boat system and has a very PoTC feel to it despite being Arabian Nights themed but it had enough unique stuff in it to not feel like too much of a Disney rip off. You start off in a dense jungle with a pretty intimidating snake animatronic and progress through various Arabian slums and city streets before entering the palace where a tiger suddenly appears followed by a strange scene where lasers start firing near your boat causing the water to splash up. I couldn't quite follow the plot but this ride is so detailed, I think it's probably the most animatronics crammed into one ride I've ever seen and you really feel like you're going on an adventure. It's a long ride too clocking in at around eight minutes which you just don't get enough of with dark rides. After this it was a short walk to the rapids which were great, again a nicely long ride and it had lots of big open wave machine sections where there's lots of bumping and overtaking and general rapids based carnage. I got pretty soaked compared to everyone else on the boat but sometimes that's just how it is! The rain earlier had cleared the park out despite only being at 2PM meaning Baron had a fifteen minute queue at this point so it would have been rude not to re-ride. Laura joined me this time and really enjoyed it too. Next up was a coaster I was really looking forward to riding, George and the Dragon GCI woodie. I haven’t been on many quality woodies so to ride something so modern and smooth but also fairly intense was such a treat. Highlights here included the first drop which is steep with the crest taken at a good speed and any point where the track turns while also going up or down which being a GCI there are a lot of moments of! It’s such a smooth coaster and throws you around so much without feeling unpleasant in the slightest. While there were no real standout moments in terms of airtime you do still spend a lot of the ride with your thighs firmly planted against the lapbar so it definitely does its job in that department. One other thing to note that really threw me off guard was an outwardly banked RMC style turn near the end which was a strange sensation and like nothing I had ever ridden before. The final new ride we rode was Python, a really old school Vekoma double loop, double corkscrew. I’d ridden a clone of this before and got absolutely battered but the new trains and vest restraints actually make this about as smooth as a 90s B&M and the lack of headbanging is an absolute godsend. The layout is still pretty dull and leaves a lot to be desired but for a classic coaster this definitely does the trick. To cap the day off we had a reride on George and the Dragon and Flying Dutchman then hit the pancake house for the sickliest biggest pancake I’ve ever eaten. My initial reaction on the way home was OMG this is the greatest park I’ve ever been to and even after a few weeks of reflection I still think this is the case. The rides are of a very high standard (I’d say the execution of Flying Dutchman and Baron is definitely world class) and the rest of the line up is very very strong. There’s also so much to do, thankfully we didn’t have to queue for too long so were able to knock all the major rides out in one day with a few rerides but the quantity of stuff to do in the park is staggering. Things we didn’t ride included the worlds largest pirate ship, a heavily themed Seastorm esque flat, a 4D cinema, a haunted house attraction and of course we didn’t have time to fully explore the park and the Fairytale Forest. It’s a park worth far more than the sum of its parts and this is in part due to the operations and how the park is run. The entrance fee is very reasonable, the food was the same price as stuff in Amsterdam, there’s no fasttrack system and you never feel like you’re being upsold. It feels like every decision made by management is to enhance the guest experience and make the park as perfect as it can possibly be as opposed to just extracting money out of you like a certain UK operator. It’s so lovely to not see ‘Get your annual pass today!’ posters everywhere or have HB Leisure people hassle you on the pathways, you’re just free to escape from the world and enjoy the park without having to worry about things. I feel I’ve gushed enough now so I’ll leave it at that, if you’re still here thank you so much for reading!

When I went two weeks ago the stops at both these scenes were about five seconds too but the effects that followed the mummy room were fine. I actually preferred it this way, that snake animatronic is nowhere near interesting enough to warrant sitting in front of for so long while your finger goes numb but it does mean the ride feels like it doesn't have as much of a finale as before.

Had my yearly trip to Chessie on Thursday so thought I'd share my thoughts: Operations were mainly alright, I'd been reading the many horror stories posted to their Facebook pages so expected the worst but I was pleasantly surprised. Only downtime I saw was Fury which I saw down at 4:00 but was back up by 4:15. None of the ride teams stood out in terms of efficiency but the guys on Tomb Blaster were dreadful, we started queuing at the '15 minutes from this point' sign and it took just over half an hour, for some reason there was about a three minute delay between riders sitting down and the lapbars lowering every time which I couldn't fathom. Speaking of Tomb Blaster I don't think the 'updates' are the complete farce people are making them out to be. I found the guns much comfier to hold now and you don't get the trigger finger ache or the constant pewpewpew! now. Only downside was you can't really shoot at targets in the distance anymore and the whole scoring system was never explained, I still have no clue about the difference between the blue, green and yellow lights and I've ridden the damn thing. The ride is looking really bad overall, I noticed loads of effects including the boulder weren't working and the new UV lighting and overall brightness takes away a lot of the atmosphere and spookiness the ride used to have. It's also painfully obvious you're just travelling through a warehouse with a few scenes now. The whole rebranding feels really rushed and inconsistent, the big new logo outside looks very cool but then you go inside and the old logo appears on all the queueline videos, it's little things like this that should have been thought about but instead have been overlooked. So overall the ride is definitely worse now but not quite as much as I was expecting. I'm also not a fan of the new direction the park has been heading in in the last few years. I think the park was much better and more exciting before they started the focus towards African/Asian theming. For example Wild Asia and Mystic East seem to blur into each other and the park is heading towards being entirely grey, dark green and beige which just feels bland for a family theme park, I miss the days when every land felt more distinctive and colourful. More like Beanoland and Toytown and less like Wild Asia in the future please. While a lot of what I've said is negative I did have a brilliant day because the rides are decent and the park has a great atmosphere which feels much more laid back than Thorpe or Legoland. It's just impossible to go and not compare to how it was in the late 90s/early 2000s which was superior in almost every way with the exception of Fury. I really hope the launched or water coaster goes ahead as well as the rumoured redo of Bubbleworks as the park has real potential to truly stand out but at the moment they seem to just be resting on their laurels.

Not really, it's pretty out in the sticks. The nearest big city is Swansea and that's still a good hour or so away

I was really sceptical about this being in World Showcase but Disney have trumped themselves here, for a minor investment this looks so fantastic. I'd much rather see this than a new Frozen E Ticket in MK

Awwwwwww dammit! I don't have an AP and this would have been my only excuse to visit until September

A few days ago I returned back from a few days at Portaventura. This is a park I had been to once before last year, however two weeks ago I was emailed a very exciting deal for the hotel and park tickets and after a quick search I found some very cheap flights and it was decided, in a week I would be back off to Portaventura! As it was such a last minute trip I couldn’t find anyone to join me, however I’m a very introverted person so I was looking forward to having a holiday by myself and taking it at my own pace. After a sleepless night I was off to Stansted for my late afternoon flight. After being super cautious and arriving nearly four hours before my departure I was gutted to discover my flight would be over two hours late. A long time later I rocked up at Barcelona airport at about 11PM, only to find that because of the delay I had missed every coach to PA and the next train wasn’t until the morning! I had a bit of a panic at this point at the realisation I was alone in a foreign country with nowhere to go and nowhere to sleep but I pulled myself together, found a bus into town and spent the next hour wandering around trying to find a hotel. I managed to find an area close to Barcelona Sants train station but it took a lot of walking around to find a room under 100 euros but I finally did, dumped my stuff off and went out to find food. I had some dinner in this tiny little pizza diner then found a bar, had a few Estrellas then went to bed realising I had had way more fun exploring the city than I would have had at PA that night. Next morning at 7AM I got up, packed my things and made my way to the train station hoping to still make it to the park for opening at ten. Even though the station was huge it was surprisingly easy to buy my tickets and find the right platform and soon I was off. The train absolutely stank of green (at 8 in the morning no less!) but there were some absolutely jaw dropping ocean views and an hour and a half later the coasters started appearing on the skyline and I was pumped! From the station it was about a five minute walk to the Hotel Caribe where I was checked in and had my bag dumped in my room in no time. From there it’s around a ten minute walk to the park entrance or there’s a land train which runs every fifteen minutes. I arrived at the entrance at half ten and after scanning my room card at the turnstiles I was straight in and off to Shambhala. The first day was spent entirely in the park until it closed at seven then it was back to the hotel for an explore followed by dinner and some sangria. The next day I went to the waterpark in the morning which is located right next to the entrance of the park. It was absolutely dead in there so I was able to ride all the slides with no queues, have a snooze then spend the rest of the afternoon in the park. On the final day my flight was late afternoon so I managed to get a good three hours or so in the park getting my final rerides in then it was time to walk back to the train station and make my way home. Overall Thoughts Portaventura really is a fantastic park and even though I was there for three days I could have easily had one or two more before I started to get tired of the place. The theming is streets ahead of anything in the UK and combined with the gorgeous weather and the fact that on one side of the park is the sea and the rest is surrounded by mountains you can really lose yourself in the park and be immersed by the theming and the experience. One thing to note is that the parks clientele will annoy the hell out of you. This isn’t a rant about the Spanish as there were some lovely and very polite staff there but 90% of the people there are so rude, loud and obnoxious compared to say a park in the UK. Queuing at PA isn’t a case of who enters the queue first gets to ride first, it’s a constant jostle and a race to slyly edge your way forwards past other guests. For example, if I was standing to the edge of the queue line with a gap to the side of me you could almost guarantee the group behind me would slide up into that space then if further space opened up in front of them but not me they would jump into that gap too. It got so tiresome having to constantly block people off from moving past me. Thankfully due to the Express system queueing wasn’t much of an issue. As a hotel guest you can buy it for your whole trip for 59 Euros which is such a bargain and for me meant that unlimited Fasttrack only cost 20 Euros each day. As it’s so cheap it was obviously oversold, most rides let nearly half the train be taken by Express users and even then the Express queue was over ten minutes long but I visited on a busy few days where normal queues got to an hour and a half every day. Caribe Aquatic Park The waterpark at PA is great, it’s beautifully landscaped with lots of tropical foliage, there’s a bit of theming going on and because it’s in Spain the sun adds a lot to the atmosphere. In terms of slides, the two biggest are right at the back. The headline attraction is a 31m free fall slide which was utterly terrifying shuffling yourself towards the drop but once you’re plummeting down it’s so smooth and fun. Weirdly despite being so tall it doesn’t shred your back up at all and I found it really rerideable, something which I’ve never found on a speed slide before. On the same tower structure is a triple dipper body slide, there’s some really intense airtime and you feel amazed that your body doesn’t actually leave the slide but the surface is so rough against your back and there’s some huge kinks where your back smacks against the joints in the slide so despite the slide being a lot of fun you do come off pretty beaten up. Elsewhere there’s a tower with two wide slides you can ride down in a single or double ring, these were fun but nothing too special. One part of the park I thought was interesting was an indoor section with some kiddie slides and two taller twisted enclosed body slides. These were crazy, they’re taken in complete darkness and the turns are so violent and fast, it feels like you’re going to spin a full 360 in the pipe and it’s a relief when you reach the end. My favourite slide was probably a triple down racer you ride headfirst on a mat, if you kick off fast at the start you can get some lovely airtime over the bumps and the whole thing feels fast and smooth. There’s also some more outside body slides, a wave pool, a slide you go down in a four man circular raft and a lazy river. It’s a decent selection of attractions and if there were queues it would take you a full day to do it all. Overall a really solid waterpark. Ride Reviews Furius Baco – Here’s a controversial opinion; I actually really love Baco, probably even more than Khan. It’s an Intamin rocket with winged seating which launches to 84mph then goes through an intense figure 8 circuit before a climax of a drawn out in line twist and a gracious swoop over a lake. Looking at the ride area it’s amazing to think this was built way after the Mediterranea area was, it just fits into the surrounding buildings and atmosphere perfectly and I’d argue it’s one of the best themed non Disney outdoors coasters. It really feels like you’re in a Mediterranian vineyard. The on ride pre-show is excellent, it starts slow but watching the screens fill up with blood (or was that wine? ) with the ominious music kicking in knowing you’re going to launch any minute is a tense experience. The launch itself is decent, it doesn’t quite have the same pull as Stealths but it’s stupidly quick and feels so exposed in the winged seating. For me the highlight is the sharp dip into the trench that follows. Entering a drop at 84mph is an intense experience and while very brief there’s a decent pocket of ejector. The turns that follow are intense and the transitions feel so snappy in the outer seats. Before long you’re whipped round into a long drawn out inline twist which feels graceful like Swarms even though you’re going at a much faster speed. The final turn over the lake is great, it’s exhilarating looking down and watching your feet skim across the water then you hit the brakes still at a high speed. Now if this layout was taken completely smoothly it would be an amazing coaster. Unfortunately it’s rough AF so for me it’s only great. In the front three rows or on an inside seat it’s not too bad but wherever you sit it needs to be ridden defensively to be fully enjoyable. I found the best way to ride was to hold the harness near the top and push your body back and down into the seat while leaning your head forwards to avoid headbanging (obviously this is to be done after the launch!). Once I got the hang of riding I had some amazing laps on this coaster but it really shouldn’t need a strategy to begin with. Ice Age 4D – This was so dreadful I don’t even know where to begin. Up until a few years ago it was a simulator called Sea Odyssey which I imagine had a underwater military seabase type theme. I could figure this out because Ice Age 4D still has an underwater military seabase theme! This is the laziest, cheapest retheme I’ve ever seen, literally nothing has been changed other than the video except a few icicles and fake snow dotted about and a few models of the Ice Age characters. You start the queue walking through some lovely cave rockwork and jungle (really well themed but how’s this relavant to Ice Age?) before heading inside to the seabase. Inside there’s some huge submarines and various machinery while some Ice Age trivia plays out on some TVs. Once I reach the front of the queue I’m clicked into another seabase themed room with some TVs. The doors behind shut, the lights dim and I get myself ready for an awesome preshow! Except no! Onto the TVs pops a long advert for Ferrari World (the video they recently released showing aerial views from around the park) followed by an even longer promotional video for the park mainly focusing on the Express sytem, the hotels and the more upmarket restaurants. Once I’d finished being advertised to, a door in front opens and we’re led into the main ride room. The hardware is really cool, it’s a bit like the Despicable Me simulator at Universal where there’s a big cinema screen at the front then separate simulator bases that you sit in and once it got going the surround sound was fantastic. Unfortunately the ride is what I’m fairly certain is the same film they originally played at Alton Towers so for the next ten minutes I have to watch highlights from Dawn of the Dinosaurs in Spanish while my seat shakes. It completely defeats the point of a simulator as there’s no moving visuals to synch with the moving seats, you’re literally just watching a film while your seat rumbles throughout. There weren’t even any 4D effects as advertised, absolute nonsense from start to finish. For a park that does seem to pride itself on its quality they should hang their heads and be utterly ashamed of this attraction, it’s terrible and doesn’t work on any level. Shambhala – By far the highlight of PA and by far my favourite roller coaster, this is just so so incredible. It’s a 76m tall B&M hyper, the layout is just camelback after camelback and apart from the awesome ampersand element and a turn towards the end to get back to the station there’s no messing around with helixes or anything else, it’s just airtime moment after airtime moment. One of the things I love about this coaster is the train is so long meaning it rides really differently depending on where you sit. The front is all about being pulled up into the hills and you feel the most airtime before you reach the apex. On the back the rise into the hills is fairly mellow but you get yanked over the top and remain fully out of your seat until the bottom. Meanwhile in the middle seats you get the best of both worlds, you float very gently out of your seat as soon as you begin to crest and then land back in your seat at the end of the camelback. Every camelback gives some great floater airtime and the return leg where you hit four airtime elements back to back before coming into the MCBR just feels euphoric. The best part of this ride is the first drop in the back row. Because of the length of the train you’re out of your seat as soon as you start going downhill and you stay that way for 76m of freefall. It’s just so sustained and so intense that it’s a genuine shock how long that drop goes on for. Anywhere else in the train the highlight lies at the speed hill just after the ampersand. It’s a very sustained pop of ejector and adds some variety to the course. Compared to last year I thought this rode a little rougher, it’s still one of the smoothest coasters I’ve ridden but it’s not quite Swarm levels of smoothness. It doesn’t detract from the ride experience at all but I hope this isn’t an indicator of how it will be a few more years down the line. I rode this about twenty times last week and two of these rides had a noticeable rattle, I’m guessing there must be a fault on one of the trains and I rode in the exact same spot. Also the MCBR actually slowed the train down this year, last year it just tore straight through it and led to some really strong airtime on the final camelback however last week the finale just lacked that punch. That last paragraph is just me nit picking though, this coaster is incredible. Dragon Khan – Even though my picture on here suggests otherwise I’m a bit love/hate with these big cookie cutter B&M loopers. Yes they’re fantastic, forceful coasters but once you’ve ridden one you’ve pretty much ridden them all due to an almost identical layout and for me Khan is one of the weaker ones due to its twister layout and a lack of theming and landscaping. I really adore this coaster up until the cobra roll then all the elements feel a bit samey and all merge into each other. It’s a really solid ride but it’s just a minute or so of constant intensity and positive G forces. Best bit is the zero g, it’s unbelievably snappy. I’ve written nearly five pages of A4 here! Would never have thought I’d have that much to say about a theme park, thank you very much for reading if you’re still here. I’ll post this now and hopefully finish up my reviews when I get a moment later. Thanks again for reading guys

Here's mine: 1. Shambhala (Pretty obvious choice, tons of airtime and a crazy out of your seat first drop) 2. Manta (SWO) (This gets the high speed swooping around that a flying coaster should have down to a tee and the pretzel loop is absurdly forceful) 3. Stealth (The launch feels amazingly powerful and it doesn't get dull after loads of rerides) 4. Cheetah Hunt (So much variety and airtime in this very long coaster) 5. Nemesis (Impossible to summarise in a short sentance how wonderful this coaster is, perfectly paced, beautifully landscaped and the zero G is my favourite inversion on any coaster) 6. Sheikra (Textbook B&M here, big, floaty but still intense layout) 7. Montu (Absolutely thunders through and transitions so nicely between elements, also the Batwing is stupidly forceful at the bottom) 8. V2 Vertical Velocity (Huuuuge amounts of airtime going up the rear spike on the back row and slowly going through the twist and stopping upside down feels beautiful) 9. Kumba (Really forceful and relentless) 10. Kraken (I love a good out and back coaster and this is one of the few B&Ms that doesn't fizzle out towards the end)

I want it open ASAP as much as everyone else but you can't complain about the delays and then not giving us a timeframe in the same sentence Lucy

Present day Doctor Who is really bad, I gave up halfway through the first Matt Smith series despite it being by far my favourite TV show when Christopher Eccleston was the Doctor. My main issue is it relies too much on main stories that go on for whole seasons, back in the glory days each episode was self contained bar the odd two parter and this made staying in and watching it on a Saturday night such an event. Each episode used to be a different time period too and I used to get so excited to see which bit of history or the future was going to be in next weeks episode but now so much of it is just set in the present day. Stretchy, I completely agree with your comment about arrogance, there's always been a slight loveable cockiness to the Doctors character but Matt Smith just seemed so up his own arse and I assume Capeldi is the same.

It is and has been for at least a decade. I've always been fairly camp and at primary school I was bullied constantly because of this and called gay in a derogatory way on a daily basis. To be honest I imagine it's probably worse now and it will be a long time before gay stops being an insult unfortunately.

How is that second article negative? The first line is that they're making enhancements! Really bad move from the park for doing this, I'm glad they've been called out on it.

I understand it's a separately ticketed Park but no one is going to visit just to do Ferrari Land and not visit Portaventura park. Once they have enough stuff to warrant being a destination in itself and a full/multi day park experience then I feel its existence will be justified but with just three rides it will only be something to pop into on the afternoon of a PA visit. EDIT - Although saying this I paid extra to go in the waterpark this morning (in a way a second gate park) and left by 2 feeling content so to be honest I'm not sure what I'm arguing anymore [emoji12]

It also doesn't belong in a park which already has a very fast launch coaster and a coaster with a really tall drop. When seeing the park from a distance coming in on the train this morning Shambhala dominated the skyline way more than the launch coaster

I think it does work well as a stand alone attraction as people in Dubai aren't expecting a full theme park experience (believe me I want to go there so bad!) but it seems forced and unnatural at PA (Polynesia, Mediterrania, Ferrari, Far West just doesn't flow) If they can develop Ferrari Land so it's a full day park by itself then that's OK as it will be a separate entity and not feel like a continuation of the PA park

I think it's mainly the angle, the structure goes quite far back behind the track so it looks a bit squiffy if not viewed straight on Got a sneaky picture through the construction walls, this building looks around where the station of the coaster would be and looks pleasant enough Elsewhere there's a restaurant in the Far West area called The Iron Horse, hopefully a cheeky hint at Stampida's future [emoji6]

At PA today and the new coaster really doesn't look like a good addition. Wherever you view it in the park it clashes really badly, the colour scheme is awful, the support structure looks awful, the Ferrari emblem looks awful and the new gen Intamin track looks awful. I'm sure it will ride well but for an Intamin rocket TTD is better than it in every conceivable way and it was built well over ten years ago rendering PA's effort pointless. Ferrari is a terrible IP for a theme park too, I bet the new area will look like a walk through advert as opposed to an immersive themed experience. Rant aside I'm having an awesome time in this amazing park. Off for some more Shammy rerides now, TR to follow [emoji2]

I personally thought that was quite an enjoyable read. At least it didn't go into the usual "On June 2nd...." spiel towards the end but you're right, it's definitely not news