Mega-Lite

Just when you thought it was safe to get back on the forums, I'm back, back from Scarefest no less. Our story begins with me dropping my friend off at the car hire place, so he could rent a spacious beast for all his work related crap, it turns out Merlin have acquired the place because it took us 45 unorganised minutes before we were ready to set off. On route to our hotel in Stoke we decided to grab the cred at... St Nicholas Park - https://rcdb.com/14020.htm My f**k awful sat nav managed to take me a locked Victorian gate in the centre of Warwick high street, meaning my friend had to bail me out and manually direct me using a map over the phone, Garmin, you've just made my list. Finally made my way into the correct car park, blaring the Helix theme of course and after paying for parking it was time to go. On the way to the cred, several teens on bikes stared us down, if only they knew. Upon entering the "fun park" we noticed "roller coaster" had been covered over on the pricing sign but we just assumed it had gone up in price. We were wrong of course and after walking the park twice and asking a member of staff it was clear the cred had gone, SPITE! As of TODAY the cred is now listed as "defunct" on rcdb, I have a theory, Benin did this to spite me. That night we eased the pain with Lemon & Slime cake bars. Sunday now and time for Alton Towers. Had one of the best drives of my life to the park, God I love the Alton roads. Walked straight onto The Staller, still a great coaster in my eyes and it was running smoother than I remember, beautiful. Then went over to Bliv and walked (500 miles) straight onto it, they are dual loading again which is great but are still keeping you on the end blocks for far too long, which is s**t. Hex next, pretty much the only reason I visit the park anymore and as expected it was fantastic. Time for 13 now and the coaster itself was riding great but operations were awful, 2 trains during Scarefest, f**k off. Walked past a broken down Rita on way to Burger Kitchen, food was fine. Rita was now at 45 minutes and that wasn't going to happen. Went to Duel via Pointless Weapon 8, still not doing it for me, sorry. Duel's always been a favourite of mine and this time was no exception, don't ever let Merlin "refurb" this. Sit back, it's Nemesis time, the coaster that's sitting 10th on my top 10 list and is still making me question if it belongs there. It's an amazing roller coaster but I seem to be less blown away every time I go back, it's sad. Craplactica next, was s**t. Flying Dinosaur is so insane it has killed B&M for me and more than anything makes Craplactica look like such a waste of time. It was 2pm now and we had ridden everything we wanted. Instead of deciding to wait around for 5 hours to do the same rides again in the dark we opted to bail on Alton Towers and try for another new cred. Clifton Park Amusements - https://rcdb.com/6129.htm It was Rotherham or bust and we drove the hour and 20 minute drive towards Sheffield. This time I followed my friend to avoid sat nav related incidents and it wasn't too long before we were all parked up. Roller Coaster - https://rcdb.com/3869.htm The cred was only a pound, has to be one of the cheapest pay per ride coasters in the country. Drove back to the hotel in Stoke very happy with myself. I was already planning to avoid Merlin UK parks for the first time in years next year (with the exception of Pointless Weapon) and this just helped me validate that more. Alton Towers, a park I used to allow 2 days for, has become a park I can't spend a whole day at anymore. I believe a combination of too many amazing international park trips and a stark decline in Alton Towers as a park have led me to this, either way it's rather depressing.

Forum has been a little quiet for my liking recently, so I'll help spice things up with another trip report. There will no pictures, I didn't take any because I didn't think I'd do a write up, but here we are. Just over a week ago, while my 2 friends were in China (heartless bastards) and my only other friend was wisely avoiding me, I took it upon myself to up my cred count (1 day Benin, you will fall). We start today on 330 credits, let's see how I fair. Started the day with a 2 hour drive to Clacton, you'll remember I got spited quite heavily there recently. Pavilion Fun Park - https://rcdb.com/9963.htm First shot at redemption! I was the only non staff member in the "park" and purchased my 4 tokens from a token vending machine while every staff member in the park stared me down. Gold Mine - https://rcdb.com/9942.htm So last time, this small coaster wasn't operating due to, "the rain", this time I faired a bit better. I asked the 15 year old looking staff member sitting on the floor outside the coaster if it was running, he said "yup", took my tokens and told me to sit in the second car, "because it can slip", noted! Off we go then, or not... I got half way up the tyre driven lift hill, then it all went f**k up. The train got to about half way up the lift then stopped, with the drive wheels still spinning away to no avail, he must of been right about it slipping. Was sitting for about a minute, wheels still spinning and now smoke coming from them and the smell of burning. Another minute passes and now the operator is spamming the control panel, desperately trying to stop the madness. 1 more minute passes, thick smoke pouring now, very unhappy smells coming from the coaster, as I sit there trying not to laugh. The operator is now screaming, "OH GOD NO, NOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!". He then begins to shout for his manager. Who casually walks over, assesses the amazing situation and hits the e stop. I roll back into the station, hands up of course and they have to manual stop the train rolling out the other side. They manually release my restraints and I casually asked, "technical issues?", they grunted and I walked out of sight and broke down with laughter. Guess I'll have to go back next time, well unless I've totaled it. I bet Benin would count that as getting the cred! I then walked onto the pier to discover Stella is STILL spiting, what a tease she is, one day I will able to experience her revenge but for now, spite! I stood and watched the Go Gator for a bit, thinking should I stoop to Benin's level, of course not! Left Clacton with some wheel spin of my own, with exactly f**k all new creds to my name. Drove about an hour and a half to Southend, what a s**t place to drive this is, traffic lights everywhere, the same BMW tailgating me AND cutting me up 5 times no less in about 2 miles and some idiot literally lost a speed boat off his trailer, making situations even worse, a bit funnier though. Adventure Island - https://rcdb.com/4836.htm Been many years since I last visited this funky little park, not that it mattered, they have barely invested in anything since I last went. The 2 things I remembered about the park are still there though, sun burn and very friendly staff. Kiddi Koasta - https://rcdb.com/9596.htm This was my first new cred of the day (331) and it was alot better than it deserved to be, those little humps at the end had more air time than Taron. Redid all the other creds, Rage is alot worse than I remember, not bad, just no way is it better than Saw, which I've read online before. Rode the new Over The Hill and it was s**t, the old version was fantastic and the trick ending almost killed me, new version is just cardboard crap. Ate at the new (I think?) pizza place and that was fine. Pizza was bit crap and my sprite didn't taste right, but it was so cheap I didn't care much. For seemingly no reason, half way through my pizza, a staff women started karaokeing in my face, I wasn't impressed. With something to show for my efforts finally, I left Southend, this time much more aggressively, remember, "there's no excuse for your bad driving". Drove half hour to Canvey Island, now I've been to alot of s**tholes in my life and this one definitely deserves that title, nasty place. Much like the poor coaster from earlier, I thought I was going to need new tyres as I drove into the World's worst car park and could hear all the ungodly noises my wheels were making on the sharp loose rocks. Fantasy Island (not that one) - https://rcdb.com/11399.htm What I can only describe as a small drug den (with rides) built in a junk yard, better atmosphere than Phantasialand though. Dragon (not that one) - https://rcdb.com/14191.htm The rarest coaster on my coastercount, yes rarer than obscure Japan stuff. Benin I strongly advise you go get this before it goes mainstream, who am I kidding, you probably already have it! (332) I then left the World's worst car park after having an argument with an Audi driver who wanted me to do the impossible in regards to giving her room. Crossroads time, go home, with only 2 new creds, or drive an hour and a half to Margate, Margate it is! My stupid sat nav (more on it later) only took me in the broad area of Dreamland before leaving it up to me. I knew roughly where the car park was and yet took 20 minutes to find it. As each minute ticked by, the driving of those around got worse, ending in a motorbike having to do an estop to avoid me, because I wasn't going to let him cut me up. The following argument has to be one of the best of my life, with visor and helmet down I couldn't make out a word he was saying, so I just replied, "what?!" and drove off. Dreamland - https://rcdb.com/4826.htm Found the car park in the end and Jesus Christ, when did they up the fee to 4 pound a f**king hour?!!?! Was once told the park is struggling with visitor numbers, if true, I fully blame the parking, oh and the fact the park is a dump. Beehive Coaster - https://rcdb.com/15169.htm Haven't seen a wacky worm with a bee as the train before, it amuses me. (333) 3 new creds in about 380 miles, worth it! Time to go home now, "no traffic on route", says my sat nav, sweet! About half an hour later ended up joining the back of a 10 mile queue of traffic, Garmin you heartless bastards! What was causing this delay then? An old timer car had over heated and was pissing fluids on the hard shoulder, but the police decided to close a lane of the road to deal with it, wtf. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Rode OL before they started running 7 cars, so I'd be excited to try that. Now if Hollenblitz makes the trip, dreams come true and you can bet I'll stop screaming at Icon construction pics for a bit to get this legend in it's first week in London! I'm already in the process of remortgaging my house so I should have enough funds left to mop up any other new creds, should they be kind enough to bring them.

I don't normally click like on posts that are intended just to break news, opting rather to save the honour for when a member writes a post I really enjoy reading or strongly agree with. However this is worthy of an exception! AHHHH! It's really happening!!

Icon will be much more like a scaled down Helix (that is a compliment, trust me) than like Blue Fire. It has been said before but I'll say it again Mack Launch coasters use their launches to set the pace and keep it rolling. I'm certainly not worried at all by "slow" launches.

Oh, that's a shame, I rather enjoyed ripping the p**s out of Belgian's s**t coaster line up. That new mega coaster is going to ruin that though, fingers crossed it's a Mack. I suppose I will have a reason to moan if they dare touch Tut though, such a brilliant ride, I will not be pleased!

Don't really enjoy Toverland as a park and don't care much for B&M Wingriders, so I'll chalk this one up to meh. I'll wave at you lot from Troy.

That's such a shame to hear, let's hope with the hugely increased crowd numbers for Icon, Pleasure Beach take the time to get the World's best dark ride back into the life altering state it belongs. This has got me thinking. Wild Mouse, Valhalla and soon Icon, the park is going to have an untouchable (for the UK) ride line up. Having to pick between Mouse again or Valhalla till I can't stand was already hard enough and this is only going to complicate things.

I would put money on, unless Pointless Weapon 8 brings in a stupid amount of money (I don't think it will, or deserves to), we won't see another Merlin woodie for years. Colossos at Heide has probably left Merlin even guessing if Pointless Weapon is worth the hassle.

Whenever I've seen Valhalla at it's worst, it's during a day of frequent and prolonged downtime. I'm sure Coaster will correct me if I'm wrong but I believe a lot of the effects time out during downtime and need resetting. Then because the staff are working so hard to just keep the ride running, they forget. Or they figure it's going to continue to break down so don't bother. You're lucky though really, didn't get to ride at all this year because of downtime. Shame because I haven't been to Pleasure Beach if I miss Valhalla!

I don't think people are prepared enough for how great this coaster is going to be and just how much it's going to impact the UK coaster line up. Because I have this in built UK never gets the nice stuff anymore feeling, I completely forget about Icon, then when I'm reminded, I scream "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH", fanboy out, calm down, then get into deep internal debates on if this thing is going to be fighting Nemesis for best in UK crown. Exciting times indeed.

Not strictly "doing a Drayton" though. That would involve only expanding your golden IP area while letting your non IP line up crumble. Oh and closing your family boat ride and ruining your madhouse. Plus don't forget Drayton's ride offering is f**king awful, Paultons has a lovely little line up. Bring it on I say, will hopefully give them enough funds to get my Gravity woodie.

Paultons really is a fantastic park and such a joy to visit, I make sure to visit the park every other year and always find myself having a great time. The staff are always great, the general atmosphere is lovely and it's just a pleasure to be on park. Lost Kingdom was an amazing investment and the product as a whole is outstanding, I really hope it helped boost their visitor numbers, cause God knows they deserve that after producing such a high quality new area. I've been thinking for years, if only Paultons had the marketing budgets and was located slightly nearer London I could quite easily see them doing damage to Chessington's visitor numbers. I know which park I've rather visit!

Each to his own man, you like The Babadook and I literally couldn't sit through a repeat watch of that rubbish. Before you kick off, I imported a blu ray from Australia to watch it as soon as possible when it came to home media. Dedicated but in the end very dissapointed. I've always been a Saw 2 and 6 man myself. 4 and 5 were complete messes. 3 is bit too gross for repeat watches, ending is fantastic though. 7 doesn't even feel like a proper Saw movie, I can't explain it, just feels off. On a first time viewing Saw 1 is brilliant, but when you've seen them all at least 5 times it is the one that takes the longest to get going. The being said it's been at least 4 years since I've watched a Saw film, still hold a special place in my heart though. I find it amusing Saw: The Ride got you into the Saw franchise though, with how poorly the ride represents the franchise I'm surprised you were persuaded to make the effort!

Helix over Taron - Correct Europa over Phantasia - Correct Rat over Valhalla - Not so much I have yet to put myself through Port Av yet, but it's interesting Shamb sits in 3rd place for you, that's exactly how I imagine it's going to play out. As much as I love to moan about Taron I can't see a B&M hyper topping it.

Setting 1: Better than Ghost is. Setting 2: Power Tower with strobe lights. Setting 3: 1/10 as good as Phantasia fanboys think it is. Hate me.

May the God's of the North be with you.

1 go on real Stealth and 1 go on Japanese Stealth and that's enough "up, down, then whoop-de-whoop" for this year. Does nothing for me anymore.

We pick the action up on Sunday, after a good nights sleep and yet another double bacon and egg toastie it was time to leave. This was my second visit to Butlins Skegness and much like before it was a pleasant stay, though quite how you'd spend a week here if you weren't going out every day is beyond me. A long but fine 3 hour drive later and we were at... Pettitts Animal Adventure Park - https://rcdb.com/4834.htm Was rather worried pulling up to this very small family park, I wanted to be believe they wouldn't have a no adult only groups rule but recent spites left me wondering how many parks resort to this frankly insulting policy. Luckily Pettitts was fine and after the cashier coughed on my friends credit card, we were in. The park is basically a mini animal adventure sort of place, almost like a discount Drucillas if you've even heard of that. Lots of sweet little animals, like rabbits, raccoons, parrots and even a reptile house. At the back of the park is what we came for though. Runaway Train - https://rcdb.com/890.htm Burly, tattooed, mountain of a man was operating this strange little coaster, he was friendly enough though and after yesterday's spite this felt like redemption to me. +1 Time to hit the dusty trail and drive at ungodly speeds down single track roads for far too long (thanks Garmin) until we reached... Joyland - https://rcdb.com/4828.htm Never got round to doing Joyland last time I was in Yarmouth and I'm certainly glad I have now, it's great. Spook Express - https://rcdb.com/885.htm The park's only real cred, nothing special but I enjoyed it. We also rode the Tub Twist, which so clearly isn't a cred and yet is counted as a strict cred on coastercount, I don't understand that all, was extremely good fun though. The best ride at the park though is the Snails, once again isn't a cred but is amazing! Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach - https://rcdb.com/4802.htm Popped into Pleasure Beach in order to get the wacky worm I was too ashamed to ride last time and for another lap on Roller Coaster. Either the park has gotten less ghetto or I've manned up, I'm happy with either. Big Apple - https://rcdb.com/812.htm Need to give a shout out to the crazy girl operating this thing, she was giving it all she had, when was the last time you saw a member of staff happy to be operating a wacky worm! Roller Coaster - https://rcdb.com/811.htm Needed to remind myself what this old timer was like, certainly not a patch on Rutschebanen, but it's still good fun, worth a ride if you're in park at least. Time to leave Yarmouth and spur of the moment we decided on a list minute trip to... Clacton Pier - https://rcdb.com/4810.htm Opening the car door and having it blow straight back closed, then almost being blown over, followed by sand being blown in my eyes and mouth, probably was a sign to stop but of course we didn't. When we got to the ticket office a sign informed us Stella's Spite was closed, we nervously asked the question if the wacky worm was running, to which they said they'd call someone over to operate it for us, there you have it, Clacton Pier is better than Nagashima Spite Land. Wild Mouse Coaster - https://rcdb.com/839.htm Rode this as the wind tried to tear the pier apart, I can see why Stella's Spite was closed. +1 Tried our luck at Pavillion Spite Park just outside the pier but their cred was closed because of the rain, it wasn't raining however, must be owned by Nagashima Spite Land. Finished our day with the long drive home which killed my back so badly I had to lay flat for the next 10 hours. Thanks for reading.

It wasn't much past 4 when they closed it this time, I'm glad I'm not the first man to be spited by her though! Miner Mike isn't a cred in my books, I bet you count Go Gators too, for shame! Think I'm getting immune to sketchy places thanks to this hobby, Skeg is fine to me.

There's a lot more to it than just changing the track sensors and every step of the way you'd run into the issue of the manufacturer of the ride not being by your side. Would be a beast of a job and will never happen, not that I think it should either. Pleasure Beach don't have the best record with tampering with their rides either, if it ain't broken, don't fix it, has never been truer.

While the memories are still fresh in my mind and my spine is still feeling the many miles driven, I'll hook you guys up with another trip report, you're welcome. The Friday just gone my friend and I hit the roads in order to go to Butlins Skegness to visit our friend who works there, oh and to collect creds. We set off at 6pm on a Friday and knew it was going to be a crap drive but nothing could prepare us for what happened. Good time was made for about half the trip and I got to experience my first ever Smash Burger in Milton Keynes, the food was amazing, as was the view from the viewing window of many rude boys hitting speed humps at 90mph, I recommend. Then it all went f**k up... A1M was closed for a large portion but the closure came completely out of the blue. At least an hour of detours that just led you in circles and my sat nav being about as useful as the trims on Taron later, we decided to access the options. Turns out the only way out of our situation is many miles of crappy B roads, nearly all filled with slow drivers, ffs. Kpop and all the sugar in the World were the only things keeping me from spending the night in a ditch, thankfully though we got to Butlins at midnight, a full 6 hours after setting off and instantly passed out. Saturday started as I wish all days would, with a double bacon and egg toastie from the cafe in the Butlins Skyline (big ass tent), was bliss. Short drive later and we were at... Fantasy Island - https://rcdb.com/4812.htm I visited here last year and I rather enjoyed it. Yeah it's weird and sketchy, but to me it just has a great charm to it. Odyssey - https://rcdb.com/1413.htm As is traditional Odyssey was down on my first visit so I was very eager to get back to the park to finally ride this beast. This time I got lucky and managed to walk straight onto a front row ride. Rather disappointingly it really wasn't worth the wait. The sheer size of this monster and nothing under you on the lift means the climb was great fun. As was the insane first drop and the loop. Then it all went f**k up... From here on it's a juddery, head banging, shuffling mess that rides worse than Infus**t at Blackpool, wasn't impressed at all. I mean you have to ride it because it's so messed up and almost legendary, just please don't expect it to be good like I did. Millennium - https://rcdb.com/843.htm This so smooth it offends Vekoma looper is brilliant. Fantasy Mouse - https://rcdb.com/14923.htm Already had the cred but decided to give it another go which turned out to be a great idea as we got a brutal spin. Rhombus' Rocket - https://rcdb.com/841.htm This thing hauls ass. We also rode Volcano The Blast Tower, which is still better than Ice Blast, the Log Flume which almost broke my wrist and Seaquarium and Toucan Tours which are still adorable dark rides. After Fantasy Island we set off to... Botton's Pleasure Beach - https://rcdb.com/4806.htm This "park" deserves recognition for how well they treated us last year. Pouring rain, only us 2 in the park yet we managed to get all but one of the credits due to the frankly outstanding friendliness of the staff. Queen Bee - https://rcdb.com/1871.htm Queen Bee was the aforementioned cred we didn't get last time but we have now! +1. We also did the ghost train which probably isn't a good ghost train (I don't normally ride them) but I enjoyed it enough. Following our Botton's adventure we popped back into Butlins for a bite to eat before making the hours drive to... Spite's Amusements - https://rcdb.com/5675.htm A collection of failed healthy and safety pieces of scrap metal on the beach, they'll be dying for our custom. Little Spiter - https://rcdb.com/3314.htm The heartless bastards closed the coaster in our face (I assume Benin paid them off) and refused to accept our hard cash offering, bastards. That night much Kpop was consumed in order to get over one of the worse spites of my life. More spiting to come...

The sugar coating of situations in Thorpe's favour are just as frustrating to read as the constant slagging off.

Well deserved that, so glad Phantasialand didn't win too!

I'm just so glad it's going to be years before Legoland Windsor add anything worth my time because I got anxiety just reading that article.