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Distinct lack of poodle images in that post.

More U-turns than a Tory government.

The "we're a small park" excuse is rubbish. Go back 20 years, when the park was (excluding The Farm) technically smaller, and they had defined areas, with portals and signage. Look at a park like Phantasialand, which is small and compact, and they have some of the most well-defined, high quality themed lands out there. The simple and honest reason why the park don't do themed lands is because they don't want to. That's fine too, if that's the case. But let's face, it's not because they couldn't.

Surely the obvious answer guys: bring back Rocky Express. It will solve all our problems. In all seriousness though, a high quality dark ride and proper decent water ride.

Themed around a garden centre?

Looks in cracking condition to me. Rocky Expressodus confirmed 🤠

Stayed on site and the hotels are of good quality. Actually pay for what you get (though it is annoying that you have to add tickets on top of it as well). They are popular too but might be that the cheaper one (El Anduluz) is sold out. Depends what you're after end of day. But as mentioned there are lots of b&bs around.

I've gotta disagree with the whole 'family friendly' approach you mention in your post, @Matt N. Mainly because most parks in the UK are already primarily focused on this, especially in the south. Legoland, Chessington, Paultons, hell even Adventure Island are all primarily family focused parks first and foremost. Having a theme park down south whos main focus is purely on thrills is much more likely to benefit them in the long run as it's a good niche for down south. Hell, even the parks up north for the most part are becoming more and more family focused - Lightwater Valley, Drayton Manor seems to be heading that way too, and even Alton Towers have got an extremely large predominantly family friendly section of the park that seems to only grow larger as the seasons progress, meaning more thrillseekers will be more likely to travel down south to Thorpe to get their adrenaline fix (or to BPB I guess). But I have to agree on Thorpe needing a good dark ride, just not on the 'make DBGT tamer' thing. A good, high quality, actually scary ghost train would be a perfect fit for Thorpe Park. As Thorpe Park is a thrilling theme park, a thrilling dark ride such as a ghost train is the perfect fit. They would be seriously missing a trick if they just decided to get rid of the ghost train altogether - it just needs improvements such as replacing the windows on the train with television screens, making the movement scenes to and from the underground platform longer and have the actors that currently stand around and brush your knees actually, you know, act. Perhaps like they're infected or something? idk. Bring back the train crash sequence in the tunnel (but make it look much better and increase reliability) and then back on the train for much of the same. Either that, or just rip out everything inside the building (the exterior can stay, I actually really like the exterior theming) and start again with a trackless darkride ghost train instead. Thorpe also really do need a good quality water ride now that Loggers is in the Thorpe archives. Due to good ol' British weather, I think it'd benefit from being inside. Maybe build it on the island behind The Swarm, or if you wanted to save that space for a new coaster, demolish Slammer and Black Mirror (and probably even TWD:TR) and that frees up a decent amount of space for either an indoor water coaster or an indoor log flume type beat. Swap out the majority of Thorpe's flat rides, too. Rush, Zodiac and Samurai are all well past their sell-by dates. Just look in the Zamperla catalog and blindly pick one - I'm sure whatever you choose will still be a fantastic fit for the park.

I’ve only ever stayed off-site, but there are plenty of options throughout the village of Rust. Ranging from hotels, B&Bs and guesthouses. Most of which are 15 minutes or less walking distance from the park. Sites like booking.com and Expedia are worth looking at. M with tickets they usually sell them as one or two day tickets.

There's so much of the park you could bin. Depth Charge, Beach, Storm Surge, X:/TWD, DBGT for starters opens up a MASSIVE chunk of area. Especially if you include Slammer as well. Making the entrance actually appealing should be their next step. Every time I see pics of it it looks awful. This in turn would work with demolishing Depth Charge and the beach and making a big plaza area with stage and food options. Bit like the temporary stuff at Towers recently. Then get a good dark ride and high throughput water ride that's actually good. Oh, and a Top Spin. Preferably indoors.

I remember in 2021, Jack asking Russ about the new sign posts! How they were no longer named after the areas, he said it wasn’t necessarily moving away from them. Well as of today, we found out the following: A bit contradictory to what Russ said in 2021. I understand that Thorpe doesn’t have defined lands to that extent because of how small. But they are equally as willing to call it “angry birds land” and surely amity is easy enough. I’d like lands back, but I have a feeling Thorpe are in their amusement park phase again. the lands thing didn’t last long….

Sounds like every annoying person who plays the "I know something you don't know" card for Internet points.

Sad news, its back on the app