JoshC.

So I experienced Wicker Man's pre show for the first time since 2019. And gosh, I really do not like it. Okay, the actual premise is okay. Let's tell a short story about how this mysterious random group are sacrificing guests to a mysterious being and you'll be fed to the flames. And the presentation is nice (the reveal of the Wicker Man head gets a few oohs and ahhs). I think it's a bit unnecessary and could have been done in other ways, but that's not really the point I want to make. Operationally, the pre show is dire. 1. Let's crowd as many people into a small dark space as possible. Get them to squeeze into all the nooks and crannys. 2. Let's stop guests right below the screen so those at the front can't see anything. 3. Let's also stick a fence near the front that people can't see because it's too dark so they walk into it. 4. Let's have a small queue after the pre show that can fit less people than the pre show room. 5. Let's have an automatic door that tries to shut on people queueing after the pre show. 6. Let's play the pre show even when the door hasn't shut and people are still queueing to get batched. It's all just a bloody nightmare. Maybe I'm just being a bit nitpicky, but I really just do not like it.

Had a visit to Towers Tuesday and Wednesday. Some scattered thoughts: -Like Mark says, the Retrosquad's inclusion are effectively serving as replacements for Hex and Enterprise right now, defeating their original purpose. -The Tuesday was a bit busier than I expected, I guess from people who avoided the Bank Holiday Monday. Wednesday was very quiet. -Operationally, coasters were running well. I question the need on a day like Wednesday to run 3 trains on Thirteen, for example, when the team was effectively sending one empty all day. Surely that just ultimately leads to unnecessary wear and tear and more work for the engineering team in the long run? -I will expand on this in the Wicker Man topic, but I truly hate the Wicker Man pre show. -The park were running their 'Festival of Thrills' event still. They have live music / acts around the park, themed in some sense to the corresponding areas. It was fine, but even on the livelier Tuesday, didn't seem to garner much attention. Have to wonder if the money spent on this entertainment could be spent elsewhere more effectively. -All coasters had staff batching you into rows. This is obviously good when things are busy, but on the Wednesday especially, it felt unnecessary. When there's literally no queue, having a member of staff tell you what row to go in, and then batch others into the same row just feels a bit OTT. Maybe this is also a bit of me having gotten used to 'Covid rules' of not being sat next to strangers, but heyho. I also stayed onsite at the Splash Landings Hotel. First time staying there, was nice. However, the resort offerings are pretty...minimal. The park closed at 4pm on Tuesday. So does the water park. The mini golf shut at 5pm. So what's there to do at this resort? Eat dinner, or listen to a singer or two in the hotel bars. Just feels like they could do things so much better. Surely the indoor water park can stay open later, and attract more visitors? Surely they should be something to do at a big resort theme park after 5pm that isn't akin to something you could see at a local bar / fancier pub? All in, I had a nice couple of days with a decent ride count. But it still feels like there's a lot of steps that Towers need to do to get back to the top of their game

https://www.merlinentertainments.biz/newsroom/news-releases/2022/merlin-entertainments-nick-varney-chief-executive-officer-to-retire/ CEO of Merlin, Nick Varney, and CDO Mark Fisher, have announced that they intend to retire over the next 12 months. Nick has been CEO of Merlin since it was formed in 1999, and Mark Fisher might not be a name everyone is familiar with, but he's played a significant role in Merlin as well. Both leaving the company at a similar time could lead to some pretty big changes.

For anyone who hasn't seen TPM's latest post: https://thorpeparkmania.co.uk/news/27-04-2022/Project+Exodus+April+2022+Round+Up In short, there's been some objection to the placement of some of the footers of the coaster. I don't like to speculate too much on things I don't fully understand, but it seems a bit like an oversight from a planning perspective, but something that can be sorted out. Hopefully it doesn't take long to sort out though.

A recent document added to the planning application shows the plan for service vehicles: The current service road runs up to Burger King, and vehicles currently have to go onto park, past Burger Kind and the toilets to access the site. The access route follows the service road up to the usual gated entrance, and then goes behind Burger King and up to the site this way. The area behind Burger King is where the coaster's maintenance building is proposed to go. All of the pathway adjacent to Monk's Walk from Platform 15 up to the Roots of Evil exit has been bulldozed, but it seems like only a part of that area will be used for access. Then again, the park could also plan to use the area that was Roots of Evil for some sort of access and storage too.

We have a thread for this already: I'll merge these at some point

Sounds like they're being told to not say "headsets in the bag are broken" (or at the very least, to avoid words like broken), and then muddling up how they're communicating with it. The attitude ain't great though. Wonder if that's them being told to stick within a character and them not judging when to tone it down correctly, or just poor staff

If the wanted to a more conventional dark ride, they would pretty much have to rip out Ghost Train and start again. In terms of tracks, Ghost Train literally just has a pair of parallel train tracks, so a conversion/refurb wouldn't really do much.

Clowns 2 - Electric Boogaloo?

A weekday visit in mid-May should be quiet enough to get all the rides done. I'd try to go on a Thursday over a Friday just because it should be a bit quieter. As said above, many people head to Swarm first, but it quietens out later. A good chunk of people also go to Saw/Colossus first. This means Nemesis Inferno and Stealth are usually pretty quiet for the first hour or so. However, Colossus usually gets the longest queues on park out of the major coasters throughout the day (due to low throughput). So if you can get to the park early enough and head to Colossus first, that would be a good way to start the day and minimising your waiting. As also said above, it's best to get there early. I'd recommend getting there for 9.15-9.30. The park opens up to the Dome and balcony then (so you can pick up a drink or whatever if needed then). Then when the park opens at around 10, you can be one of the first to get through the "rope drop" if you will.

tbf Thorpe never had that gimmick (it was rumoured for Saw Alive but never actually happened - instead it was just a rumble effect). Tulleys did have a maze in 2015 with the gimmick though - The Volt. It wasn't that well received; largely unthemed corridors in the dark, with shock panels on the wall which were easy to realise after a while. But I'm sure the gimmick of it was enjoyed by some, and it sounded pretty unnerving. I'm under the impression they are open to revisiting that concept. So maybe The Volt 2 isn't out of the question. Shame to see Clowns go though. I liked that. I just hope that whatever they replace it with, it's not a maze which goes on 10 minutes too long, and that it doesn't follow Tulleys' rinse and repeat idea of "actor speaking made up language, nothing, same actor shouting/screaming, nothing"

Honestly, no clue who they're targeting any more these days. They're a park which are still going for "thrills", but the people and age range seems to be broad and unclear. Apparently the addition of the Playground is something that's come from above. The idea is that Merlin want some form of play equipment at every park, regardless of target audience, etc

I'd be interested how reactive they actually have been to complaints. The TikTok board went as quickly as it came, which could be because of complaints. It could also be because they were using it briefly, and it was only ever intended to be temporary. The Swarm audio going to back to normal is weird. It was using the newer audio at the start of the season, then one day it just seemed to change. It would be a very random time to change it because of feedback, given they introduced it last summer, and there wasn't a particular wave of dissatisfaction over it at the start of season. So it just feels weird. Personally, I like that it's back so not complaining, but I'm curious exactly what the thought process was. The Thrillmakers send shivers down my back with cringe. But they seem to resonate well. But once again, we're at a stage where Thorpe are shifting brand and target. The Thrillmakers have a big presence in Amity now, and it's something geared towards children and younger teenagers. They take over the bridge at the start and end of the day, playing loud pop music over the bridge's calm music. It's all very cheesey and corny. The branding has this big push on being simple and using emojis a lot (just look at any new signage around the park introduced this year). That diverges away from the crisp, smart branding they introduced just two years prior. Which is also away from the Island Like no Other brand. It's another mish mash. As I say though, the Thrillmakers stuff has been received well. And the new branding has too. So that's something. I will say that I think the Easter period was a bit quieter than expected, especially after a busier-than-usual season start. So hopefully the well-received nature of what the park are doing translates to good attendance figures. The Events are the big thing for 2022 (like they have been for the last few seasons). They will be the big factor in how successful the park is. The quality of their events in the last few years has been mixed, so hopefully the quartet they have this year works, and the park has learnt what works and what does not.

I'll be off over to the East Coast area; Six Flags Great Adventure and Hersheypark, then down towards Kings Dominion and Busch Gardens Williamsburg!

My updated list after my recent Heide/Hansa trip: 1. Taron, Phantasialand 2. Taiga, Linnanmäki 3. Untamed, Walibi Holland 4. Helix, Liseberg 5. Oz'Iris, Parc Asterix 6. Balder, Liseberg 7. Lost Gravity, Walibi Holland 8. Der Schwur des Kärnan, Hansa Park 9. Nemesis, Alton Towers 10. Joris en de Draak, Efteling 11. Colossos - Kampf der Giganten, Heide Park 12. Goliath, Walibi Holland 13. Troy, Toverland 14. Black Mamba, Phantasialand 15. Hyperion, Energylandia That's my "Top 10% of ranked rides" (ie creds ridden ignoring kiddie/little junior ones). I think positions 9-13 are all very fluid; very much depends on my mood. Joris feels like a bit of an outlier on a first glance I think, but then I remember I have so much damn fun on it from start to finish that it really does deserve that spot.

Lo and behold, Day 2 of 2 is here! After staying the night in Lubeck (in what was apparently a non-smoking hotel, but in a room which smelt strongly of cigarette smoke), I was energised for another day. The weather was cold and windy, but no rain. The journey from my hotel to Hansa Park was much simpler than the previous day: a direct train from Lubeck to Sierksdorf, and then a walk to the park. The walk was again very straightforward - pretty much a straight path which takes about 10-15 minutes. Unfortunately, by the time I'd arrived at Sierksdorf, the rain was kicking in, setting the tone for the weather for the rest of the day... I got to the park just before rides opened at 10, and walked straight on in after a quick security check. Dumping my stuff in a locker (1 euro for the whole day with unlimited entries - bargain!), I made a beeline straight to the park's main event - Karnan. I'd been keeping an eye on the park's app in days prior, which showed that it's availability had been...sketchy, at best. So ticking it off first was the safest bet. Arriving by the entrance, there was a staff member out the front, and a queue of people. Karnan was also testing, but filled with test dummies Shortly after I got there, the staff member said something in German I didn't quite understand, but about half the people waiting left. I imagine it was the usual "We don't know when it will open, hopefully soon, but try other rides and come back later". Realising the park would be very quiet and not wanting to take any chances, I decided to hang around and see. It was still regularly testing, still with dummies, so I remained optimistic. That optimism was perhaps foolish though. After about half an hour, and engineer came to queue front, after having emerged from "the tower" and said something and waved his hands, at which point everyone left dispersed. Uh oh, that didn't seem good. I asked the lovely guy out front what was what, and between my basic German and his basic English, I managed to piece together "We don't know when it will open, keep looking at the app". Bye for now The rain at this point was pretty consistent; not heavy, but not light either. I wandered away from Karnan, not quite sure what to do first. My first thought was obviously the park's other Gerstlauer, Flucht von Novgorod. But instead I walked right past their Wild Mouse, so thought why not... Well, it was closed, so that would be why not... Undeterred, I carried on walking in the random direction I had chosen, and eventually ended up the park's Beautiful Britain area, which included two creds. Let's go. First up was Nessie. The park's Schwarzkopf coaster, with basic lap bars and a vertical loop. Nice walk on too. The station for this is wonderful; really nicely themed. This was my first taste of what Hansa Park could do with their indoor spaces, and I was impressed. As for the ride itself, it was...fine? I was a bit disappointed in some ways, maybe because I set up high expectations thinking this might be like a mini Lisebergbanan (a cred I really like) with a loop. But yeah, it just didn't do it for me. Also, the aggressive brake run in the dark was not something I was prepared for (no nice warning signs a la Lisebergbanan!) I also didn't take any photos of it, which also highlights my lack-of-care for this. I wanted to tick off the other cred in the area, Royal Scotsman, whilst here. But lo and behold, it was closed. Entrance shut off with no explanation. Was it because of the weather? Would it open later? No idea. Instead, I turned my attention to the small matter of Highlander. You know, the 120m tall drop tower? I was very confused by this, because the gondola was not parked on the ground; it was instead about 10-15ft off the ground (like in some sort of maintenance mode?), but the entrance was open. I hadn't seen it go yet, but I decided to walk through and see. A staff member appeared from the op box, indicated to give him a moment, and then he lowered the gondola down. Huzzah! At this point, it was still raining pretty consistently. It was windy. My phone said it was 3°. Yet I was going near-400ft in the air. Cool. I love drop towers, but this did get to me a bit. The climb up is slow and suspenseful, and the accompanying music fits really well. It was going up and round that I also realised how close Hansa Park is to the Baltic Sea (spoilers: very close!). Going up just went on and on and on. And the wind and the rain was making me feel very cold. Nearing the top I got the tilt, which doesn't really do a lot for me, but I'm sure gets people. It was running the "super tilt" mode, where it stays like that for the drop, so it quickly went back to the upright position. Then, finally, it stopped. And I waited. And waited. And waited. There's no more audio, no countdown, nothing. Okay, this was a tiny bit terrifying, in the best possible way. How long was I up there, who knows? But soon enough, I was dropping down. That was fine...fun enough, but these larger ones give you more time to adjust to the sensation. In short, whilst the drop on Highlander isn't anything special, the whole build up and anticipation to it is. Really fun, and slightly nerve-wracking, experience! Now it was time to move on over to the much-praised Flucht von Novgorod. I knew the secrets this had (ie launch and vertical lift / beyond vertical drop), and that it had on-board pre shows. But beyond that, I was in the dark. The ride was only running one car, which meant the wait for front row took a bit of time. But I'm not complaining, as it gave me a chance to dry off in the indoor queue, and appreciate the theming around. I was told off by the operating for taking this photo...although maybe he was just telling me no phones on the ride. I don't quite know. Quickly enough, I was on. The pre shows before the launch are great. They set a really nice tone; creepy and spooky, with some neat effects in there too. That, however, it where most of my positives run out. You drop into the launch and it hits you. But at the same time, it doesn't feel that punchy? I know it is a quick acceleration, but it didn't feel like it was all that powerful. Maybe going in from the drop you already have a decent starting speed, so the boost doesn't come across that great? Maybe being in near-total darkness drains it of some reference? I don't know, but it didn't really do it for me. This was particularly sad, as I love Anubis' launch at Plopsaland! You then head on outside and the layout is...fine. Fine seems to be a word I'm using a lot for Hansa Park so far, doesn't it? It doesn't really do much, and it doesn't really give any notable forces / airtime. The inversion over the building is nice, but forgettable. Then you head on inside and reach the vertical lift. Oooh, back to Hansa indoor quality! Stopping on the vertical, you get some more "pre show". I guess if I could understand it more coherently I might enjoy it more, but it felt like a bit of a pace killer - the ride had just got going, now you're stopping me for this? The rest of the ride then takes place in total darkness, and is a bit rough and ready in typical Gerstlauer fashion, which made it hard to enjoy. It then ends with a projection of a crow on the wall (I've since learned about some scarecrow scare, which seems to have gone?). I did like how after the ride, you walk through a maze which has an actual potential dead end. That was a neat little 'post-ride' touch. Overall first impressions of Novgorod though: not that good. This is a ride I'd heard lots of good things about, and was something that seemed right up my street. Again, maybe I set my expectations too high? Maybe it was just a bit of a bum ride, which Gerstlauers sometimes give. It wasn't something I was prepared to write off just yet, but I was disappointed. By this point, the weather had improved ever so slightly - it was still raining, but it was a bit warmer. That, or I just got used to the cold. In either case, I decided to check out what was going on with this mystical Karnan thing. Still closed. Same poor soul stood outside. Fortunately by this point, the Wild Mouse, Crazy Mine, had opened. So I decided to get the +1 now. It gave me some nice Rattlesnake at Chessington vibes, and the singing animatronics were just on the right side of annoying to be charming enough. Ride is standard though of course. Sticking near Karnan, I then went for their Gerstlauer junior cred, Schlange von Midgard. This ride looks stunning, though sadly I didn't get any photos. In true recent Hansa fashion, it features a nice indoor pre-show section, with animatronics and some backstory. At the top of the lift, there's a screen with some stuff going on. Couldn't see what though as there was a huge warning message over the screen. Whoops. Ride itself is pretty fun; surprised there isn't more Gerst family coasters in general. Thanks to my slow wandering round the park, it was coming up to 12. Karnan had stopped testing, and the rain was coming down heavier again and it was becoming a bit colder. I took shelter under a nearby canopy to try and figure out my plan for what to do. I quickly decided that food would be the best option, even if it was a bit early. There didn't seem to be many indoor options except the restaurant at the front of the park, "Weltumsegler". This place looked really nice, and had a "canteen" style set up. This turned out to be a great choice, as demonstrated by this wonderful spicy currywurst and fries, and Oreo/grape dessert... This gave me a chance to warm up and take stock. I had managed all open creds, but there were still 3 closed creds and no clear indication if they would open. The park had a selection of water rides, something which I usually like but wasn't feeling because of the weather. There was some smaller rides which didn't appeal, and the Gerst sky fly, which again isn't my thing. So I decided after lunch to just walk around, despite the rain, see parts of the park I hadn't yet seen, and go with the flow. Here's some random pictures... Remember I said I didn't take any photos of Nessie? Well, I lied, I took this terrible one. Some water rides I did not ride I came across Novgorod on my wander round, and decided now was a good time to give it another shot. I had a back row ride this time. It still didn't do it for me. Disappointing. After this, I caught a glimpse of Karnan again (it's hard not to in the park!). And I saw a car moving. And it was empty - no test dummies! That had to be a good sign, right? So I made my way towards to it, and lo and behold, it was open!! Yes! So let's get to - Der Schwur des Karnan. The queue line is absolutely fantastic. Highly detailed, with great special effects. The indoor section has some TV screens explaining the story (with English sub-titles), in a Hex-at-Alton Towers like fashion. I know that some people don't like this style of storytelling, but the park have made it work. I got to see the full loop plus some repeat during this wait. Then I was batched into the first pre-show room, which again is told by TV screen and following the same character in the queue line videos. This features a wonderful reveal of where to store your bags; really liked that! Then comes the first special feature of Karnan; the row choosing ceremony. I'm sure most know what's what: you stand in a row, then a dramatic sequence occurs which randomly assigns you to a row. I'm sure that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I really loved the suspense this built up, and it's just a great deal of fun. Top rating from me. I was assigned into row 2, and was finally sat down in the beast that was Karnan. I've had previous experience with Gerst's clamshell restraints, on Gold Rush at Slagharen, and liked them then, and this was no different fortunately. I won't explicitly talk about the indoor section of Karnan. What I will say, however, is that I knew what happened, and still loved it, was still mightily impressed by it and found it truly exhilarating. Fantastic. If you know, you know, if you don't, don't look it up. As for the outdoor section of the ride - I can't sing its praises enough. The first drop is fantastic. The non-inverting butterfly element thing that follows is brilliant; filled with some weird moments and the exit to it is better than so many first drops on other coasters. The remaining parts of the layout are low to the ground, taking at high speed and feature great pops of airtime and lateral forces. And whilst doing all of this, it remains comfortable, and not too forceful. It truly is a masterpiece. Hitting the brake run leaves you processing everything which just happened. Annnnnd then, Karnan goes and spoils itself. There's a short indoor section to end the ride, including a verrrrrrrrry slow roll, which isn't particularly comfortable or interesting, followed by pitch blackness, bar the pointless on ride photo opportunity on a brake run (why?), and some heroic music to end off. This ends the ride on a low note for me; that whole section as it stands is either unnecessary, or needs some theming / effects to bring it to life. Or it would be better if you took the inversion at some speed; a final big hurrah. I don't want to 'do a Karnan' and leave its review on a bum note. So let's focus on the positives: this is a fantastic attraction, which looks visually stunning (even the weird supports for the butterfly thing work), has brilliant build up which is dramatic and serious, whilst still exciting. And it has a great roller coaster to back it up too. Definite Top 10% material and, for me, gets a Top 10 spot too. I know some people have said the tower is a bit boring, but I liked how intimidating it came across After my first ride, I was itching to get on again. I completely forgot about the rest of the park. I forgot I still had 2 creds to check on. I forgot that I would have liked another go on Highlander. There was Karnan and only Karnan. The wait this time was a bit longer; no doubt by now everyone had converged to the almighty Karnan. It took about 40 minutes this time. And here's where I have a bigger niggle about Karnan. It feels like a nightmare to run. It was only running one car, which means its throughput on that day would have been shockingly bad. But the staff were still struggling with timings. We were batched into the batching pre show room before people had left it. This left an awkward wait. I don't know why the ride was delayed for over 3 hours, but it's dodgy reliability seemed to be a common trend when I was looking in the days leading up to the trip. Is Karnan something bigger than Hansa Park can handle? Did they try to create such a fantastic, larger-than-life experience that they got carried away and lost sight of making sure it was easy to operate? I don't know, but that's certainly an impression I got. Maybe I'm being harsh here, since the park had only been open for the new season for just a few days, and they'd still be re-adjusting. But still, something which lives on in my mind. On a brighter note, Karnan still rode fantastic on my second ride, in the third row. And in literal brighter news, the storm had subsided, and the blue skies had appeared! As much as I loved Karnan, I wanted to take advantage of the good weather and be outside, and see what was what with the other two creds. Fortunately for me, they were open! Royal Scotsman was first, and this was a nice Vekoma junior ride. Nothing special, and you could tell this was an older ride which they've tried to retrofit into their newer, theme-heavy ideology. Then after getting briefly lost, I found the park's kiddie cred, Kleine Zar, and ticked off that +1 nice and easy. I also took this photo of a waterfall which features on a slow boat ride, which I quite liked With the weather still nice, I decided to wander round the park and appreciate it in the sun. I also got a glimpse of Baltic Sea too. I took a quick ride on Störtebekers Kaperfahrt, the WildWater West dingy boat ride, for the primary reason that these lift hills give you a nice foot massage, and I wanted a few minutes off my feet. That was enough time away from Karnan though - a third ride followed. Getting row 2 again, it truly cemented itself as a top tier ride for me here, and it had warmed up very nicely. After this, the storm had annoyingly returned, and it bought the rain again. It was now that I was left with a dilemma too, as time was now against me. I could squeeze in another ride on Karnan (maybe even two if the queue was nice), but then have an awkward wait after park close for my train. This would also cut my time fine for getting back to the airport, and a delayed / missed train would be very stressful. Or I could leave now, and have a more relaxed journey to the station. In hindsight, I probably would have chosen differently, but I opted for the latter of these options and called it a day. At the time, I think the new wave of rain had hit me, and even though I would be queueing indoors for Karnan, I didn't fancy getting wetter and colder later. So that was that for my day at Hansa Park. I had a good day, certainly helped by the excellent Karnan, but equally, I felt a bit downbeat about it. Hansa was a park that I had heard such good things about, but I just didn't get the same buzz from it. I definitely think the weather has played a part here. The little bit of cred anxiety too. But even then, I think you can enjoy the real top tier parks whatever the weather. I did really enjoy the park's theming attempts, and it's clear they have some real talent and drive behind them, wanting to make them a fantastic park. I'm not writing the park off, and I look forward to returning at some point in the future. --- The trains back to Hamburg Airport were simple enough, and no delays. The same couldn't be said for my flight home, which ended up being delayed by a couple of hours. Given the problems that Easyjet were facing at the time though, I guess it's better delayed than cancelled. It did mean I got home at like half 1, and had to be up at 7 for work. Not my brightest idea that. As for going to parks solo, was fine. I enjoyed it; none of my fears about it were founded. I'm looking forward to my solo America trip in a few weeks all the more now! --- I'll round of the trip with a little geek summary: New parks: 2 New creds: 15 Best new cred: Karnan Most surprising cred: Limit, for not killing me Most disappointing cred: Flucht von Novgorod Best non-cred: Highlander Highlight: Broad one, but actually going abroad again Lowlight: The bloody weather

It's certainly unique, and I can see why some people would love it. I did like how it looked in general, and thought it was a really clever use of space. But simply it came down to how juddery it was. It's not awful, but it was enough to detract from the experience for me.

Dara O'Brian's Roller Coaster confirmed!

Rewinding just over two years ago, I and a few friends had booked a trip out to Hamburg, which would include one and a half days at Heide Park - plus a stay in their hotel - and a day at Hansa Park. It would coincide with two of our birthdays too. What better way than to spend a birthday at a new park? At the time, this Covid-19 thing had just turned up on the British doorstep, and concerns were growing. But the idea of a lockdown was a far away thought. Obviously, come March, that all changed, and the trip cancelled (fortunately fully refunded). So instead of celebrating my birthday in some new foreign park, it was spent hunkered down in lockdown. "Ah well, maybe net year" I thought. Obviously I could go to Hamburg at other times, but I dunno, something felt kind of right about doing this trip over my birthday. But the world had other plans. Lockdown III was coming to an end, but foreign travel was out of the question, and the UK parks were out of the question. Instead, my birthday in 2021 was spent playing some outdoor mini golf (which was a big deal at the time tbf). Early 2022 came around, and things seemed a bit more promising. Maybe I could spend a birthday out of lockdown for the first time since 2019!! And maybe, just maybe, I could finally get out to Hamburg. I tried to rally up those who I originally planned to go with, but after being met with radio silence, it became apparent if this was going to happen, I'd be going solo. Ooft. Solo park trips aren't something I've done for a long time. Well, I haven't really done them at all. I've maybe spent a couple of hours at a park alone when someone had to leave unexpectedly early, or a bit of time when arriving early. But never a full day, and never at a new park. But to be honest, it wasn't a difficult choice..."ahhhh, screw it, let's do it!" was basically my thought process. To keep costs minimal, this was going to be a short trip - fly in on a Tuesday evening, one park Wednesday, one park Thursday, fly home Thursday night. Ideally I'd've flown in Wednesday morning, but flight times just didn't work out. I had planned to drive too, but that was very costly (plus the rising fuel prices scared me), but I quickly realised both parks were pretty accessible by train. It increased the journey times, but it saved a lot of money really. Anyways, enough pre-amble ramblings. Time to get to it... Day 0 This was my first flight since January 2020. Things have changed a fair bit since then, with both Brexit and Covid. Gatwick airport was pretty chill, and boarding on the Easyjet flight was fine. As Germany require FFP2 masks in certain places (such as planes, airports and trains), crew were freely giving out these masks to anyone who didn't have that specific type of mask. Pretty chill. A not-short queue through passport control followed. It was at this point where I expected to have to show my vaccine passport (the only requirement to get into Germany at the time), but I didn't. Oh well. My hotel was a 20 minute walk from the airport, and was surprisingly cheap and nice given the location. Boom, easy. Day 1 - Heide Park I was faced with two problems for my day at Heide Park. First thing, the weather. The weather had been pretty miserable the past few days prior; cold and wet with threats of storms. Having checked their park app in the days prior, that seemed to be affecting ride availability too. And the weather today didn't seem much better - cold and dark clouds, with high chances of rain. Just a tad concerning. The second was more of an "operational" concern. The park say on their website that the nearest train station to the park is Wolterdingen, which is a 20 minute walk to the park. Annoyingly, when travelling from Hamburg, you can only arrive hourly, at 48 minutes past each hour. So I was left with a choice: arrive to Wolterdingen at 08:48 and awkwardly wait outside the park for ages, but be one of the first through the gate...or arrive at the park late. I expected the park to be quiet, so arriving late wouldn't be the end of the world, buttttttttt I like to get to parks for opening wherever possible. So I opted to get out of bed the hour earlier to get there earlier. Who needs a birthday lie in when there's creds to get?! Getting from my hotel to Wolterdingen was straightforward enough. U-Bahn from hotel to Hamburg's main station. 20 minute wait time for connection to a random place called Buchholz, then a 15 minute wait to connect to Wolterdingen. Easy enough. U-Bahn went smoothly. But then disaster struck. The connection was delayed...by 15 minutes. Ffs. The train pulled into Buchholz just as my connection left. And it was an hour until the next train. I came to really hate Buchholz. It was a large station which was very windy and cold, and there was no indoor waiting area that I could find. Fortunately, the rest of the journey was easy enough, and the walk from Wolterdingen to Heide was a straight line, and only took me 15mins. And so, a little after 10, I was finally here! Waltzing straight on through, with no whiff of security, my first port of call was the dump my stuff in a locker. I don't usually use park lockers (usually opting to visit light), but didn't fancy lugging all my stuff all day, especially with the ominous storm clouds hanging over. An all day, unlimited-entry locker cost 5 euro...not awful, but could be worse I guess. Checking the app, it suggested that of the "big" rides, only Krake, Flug der Damonen and Big Loop were open. All with 0 minute queues, fortunately. But not a great start, and already cred anxiety was kicking in. But let's not focus on that, and instead let's get some B&M-goodness... Krake wasn't particularly something that was on my radar. Drop, inversion, over, right? A fun +1, but I didn't expect any more. I was, however, pleasantly surprised. I walked on to front row straight away, and got a very nice ride. You seem to hang over the drop for a good few seconds (much longer than Oblivion and Baron at least), and the splash effect is really cool. The whole ride is filled with nice floaty moments, and even then those it's quick, it left me feeling fulfilled. Coupled in with the nice music and nice theming, I was quite happy. It's nothing special, but it does what it aims to do very well. On an even more exciting note, I noticed whilst on ride that Colossos was running. And it looked like people were on it too! I checked the app and it said it was still closed. This left me with a choice...not head over and tick off the nearby creds, or trek to the other side of the park and see what's what. With Colossos being my most anticipated cred of the park, and with it's availability seemingly being sporadic over previous days, I decided to venture over. This turned out to be a very good choice; I saw it run again, and there were clearly people on it. Woohoo! Colossos Fortunately there was no queue, and even getting into the station, there was only a one train wait. The ride, like everything, was on one train, which gave me a good feeling about the level of busyness to expect. Opted for the back row for my first ride. WOW. I didn't really know what to expect from the ride. I hadn't heard much about it, and didn't know the layout. But having done Balder, I had high expectations for my second Intamin woodie. And damn, they were, pretty much, met. Climbing up the lift hill hearing the audio is a neat thing. The first drop is fantastic, lifting you out of your seat. The first airtime hill flings you out too. The second gives you nice really nice floater airtime too. Then you hit the turnaround. This kills the ride a bit. It doesn't make anything bad, but it loses its ability to give decent airtime. You get little pops, but it feels weak compared to what you've just experienced. And this feeling carries on until the helix, where the ride picks up speed and its aggressive nature again. The final couple of hills have some good, consistent airtime, and leave the ride ending on a high note. The "wicker monster", as I call it, looks really nice, and is a good first time effect on-ride as a near miss. It didn't have any fire effects going though, which was a shame. After my first ride, I was itching to get on again. And with no queue, that's exactly what I did. In honesty, there's not many rides where I've had that immediate feeling of "Damn, let's do that again, like right now!"; it was very much a 'Top 10%' ride for me from the get-go. Taking advantage of there being no queue, I went for the front this time. I was surprised at how consistent the ride was compared between front and back. And the pure rush going down the first drop on the front row is something I really liked too. Two rides in, and I decided - reluctantly - to move on. The park seemed like it was going to be quiet, but with the threats of storms still looming, I thought I should try to mop up the creds just in case, and then return to Colossos later if I could. With that, I went to the neighbouring Desert Race. It's basically a Rita clone. I like Rita, so expected to like this. However, it fell a bit flat for me, for reasons I can't quiet put my figure on. Maybe the bare-ness of the ride? Maybe the slow ops, where they waited for an entire full train before dispatching? Maybe the annoying announcements? Just little fiddly things. This also feels like a very Tussauds investment: plonked down, minimal theming, very tacky in general. I hope the park do something with this sooner rather than later. I then went back the way I came towards Big Loop Bog standard old Vekoma. Not much else to say. Then it was time to tick off the remaining B&M, Flug der Damonen. I had been intrigued by this, due to its tight layout and neat theming. Despite the app saying this had a 0 minute queue, there was a bit of a wait...about 10 minutes. No problem really though I guess. I really liked the station; had a real nice vibe to it. I got a front row ride on the right hand side. And the ride...was not that good. It starts off nicely, standard B&M wing. But then it tries cramming all its elements into a small space, and it just seems to make the ride a bit juddery, and it lacks any sort of flow. A real shame, and definitely the weakest one I've done so far. The app still listed Scream, Bobbahn and Limit as closed. These rides had all been closed any time I'd checked the app on previous days too. As they were nearby, I decided to check them out and see what's what. Scream had a sign outside saying it was waiting for a part, and should be ready to open for "Week 15". Sad times, as I like drop towers. Bobbahn had a sign outside saying it was too cold to open. Gah, spite Limit, however, had no sign. It wasn't open, but there was a solid handful of people waiting outside, and staff in the station. I overheard a conversation between guests which I loosely managed to translate to as "it will open soon". So I decided to hang around. To be honest, I can't believe I decided to willingly hang around and see if an SLC would open soon. Especially when it lunchtime, I was hungry, and I was in the same park as a walk-on Colossos. But heyho, a man's gotta get his creds. After about 10 minutes, it opened up. Yay... I managed to get on the second train of the day. Second train of the season. I got a middle row seat, and braced myself in usual SLC-fashion. But something strange happened. It wasn't...awful. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't good. But it didn't try to massacre me, and I left the ride without my head feeling like I'd been in the ring with Drederick Tatum. Maybe the ride hadn't warmed up enough, so it was running slowly and, somehow, less rough? So there we have it folks, if you want a not-awful ride on an SLC, make sure to take one of the first rides of the season on a cold and stormy day! I also quite liked the music - nice rock track. After a quick spot of lunch, I went to the other side of the park, where the water rides and a smaller cred lived. I did both the log flume - which had a long cattlepen queue you couldn't skip over thanks to Covid barriers still being in place - and the rapids in quick succession. They were nice; not too wet, not too dry, and solid, yet unremarkable, examples of their ride types. I ticked off kiddie cred, Indy-Blitz, too, getting a solo ride and a +1 for my troubles. Next up was perhaps my second-most anticipated ride of the day...Ghostbuster 5D. I make no secret that I love shooting dark rides. I'm not big on the Ghostbusters franchise, but I acknowledged that it was something that had huge potential with this ride type. The exterior is very Merlin, in that it looks good in context of what the theme of the ride is, yet still a bit bland for a theme park. And it's kind of let down by the dodgy shipping container entrance. The mathematician in me feels obliged to take photos of any mathematical equations that work their way into theming within rides. As for the ride itself...I dunno. I'm not sold. The idea is cool, especially the working together to take down ghosts. But the pacing feels a bit off. Some scenes are far too long, others far too short. There's not one which is 'just right'. There's not really anything between screens, and the attempted compensation is "let's spin and jerk the car around quickly". This left me feeling a bit motion sick, which was a shame. A bit better pacing in the scenes, and some better breathing space between scenes, and this would be SO much better. On my way to the final cred, I took a nice slow wander round. On this random, meandering walk, I noticed a random fire effect, which was coming from the boat ride in the How to Train Your Dragon area. I don't particularly care for the franchise, but liking fire effects, I thought sod it, I'll give the ride a go. It was a nice little ride, with some neat effects and was largely indoors, protecting me from those pesky storm clouds (which were still threatening rain, but not following through!). Detour completed, I did the final open cred of the day, Grottenblitz, a Mack powered cred, with shared the same building as the previous boat ride. It had a nice layout. But I didn't get any photos (it was getting rather cold). Now it must have been around 2 / half 2, and I'd ticked off all the creds and all the rides I wanted to do. Yes, there were loads of flats, but none appealed. The park have a monorail and train ride, which I would usually do, but both looked slow and burdensome to do in cold weather. So I took the chance to do re-rides, and a do a fair few of them at that. Throughout the last couple of hours, I managed another two rides on Krake (on 2nd and 3rd row, both were nice, but not quite as good as the front, of course), and ride on the opposite side of Flug (which was even more juddery on the back row). I decided to give Ghostbusters another shot, but even being prepared for the spinning, I still felt a little queasy afterwards. More importantly, I managed another 6 goes on Colossos, including another front and back row ride. All in, it really cemented itself as a top ride for me. It had warmed up nicely, and the middle third was running better by the end of the day. Still a weak spot, but the first and final thirds more than compensated for it. I also took the chance to just wander round the park and take some more photos. So here's a little final photo dump on my least terrible photos... All in, I had a really nice day at Heide Park. The weather held off, the park was sufficiently quiet and it has a good selection of rides. It had quite a Merlin feel about it, and even moreso a feel of a park that's had three very different owners and directions. There's the older, classic rides which have a nice, integrated feeling. Then there's the Tussauds-era, plonking rides down and just rolling with it. Then the more recent Merlin-era, where theming and ride integration clearly plays a part, but can be a bit hit and miss. In saying that, I would happily go back again in the future - especially if they were to add a more traditional dark ride, and maybe replace Desert Race with something that uses the space better! The day ended off by taking the train to Lubeck. It was a good couple of hours journey along 3 trains (Wolterdingen to the much-hated Buchholz, to Hamburg, then to Lubeck), but simple enough. Sadly, the weather decided to finally take a turn for the worse, and the heavens opened. The 20 minute walk up the hills of Lubeck felt so much longer thanks to the rain and bitter wind. Cheers for the birthday present, Lubeck...just what I always wanted! Coming soon, day 2 of 2...a wet, cold and anxious day at Hansa Park...

This may sound like a stupid answer, but I believe it is simply down to rollbacks being a rarer occurrence. In the past, rollbacks would happen semi-regularly. They were almost an expected part of an operational fortnight or something, for example. It was just 'one of those things'; a routine thing. Following work and upgrades to the ride's system, a Stealth rollback is, by and large, a much rarer occurrence. Yes, it still happens, and it's not a *major* concern. But it's rarer. So that usually means the park's engineering team can identify why it's happened and rectify it. In the long run, it means the ride is open for longer as a result. On top of that, following the Smiler incident, Merlin have internally made reopening an even more rigorous process in recent years. Those extra checks probably add time to it too.

It was certainly one of the more...out there decisions that could have been made. My biggest surprise with this is how heavily they leaned into the Derren Brown schtick. When I first heard about his involvement, I didn't expect "Derren Brown's Ghost Train". I thought we would see something more like "Ghost Train (made in association with Derren Brown)". By that, I mean I expected him to be heavily involved in the initial promotion, have him on the project in a more 'designer' sort of role, but the ride itself to barely feature him. Sort of a John Wardley type role. And I guess in some ways, that's what we have. But it's a weird blend. Derren is there in the experience, but because the whole experience is so disjointed, it feels tacked on. Like they didn't know what to do. They are still paying for them. But I don't think they're as expensive as some would expect. The Saw IP is pretty cheap these days, thanks in part to the length of time the contract has been around, and the good relationship Thorpe/Merlin have with Lionsgate. In general, I reckon that the overall cost of buying an IP (which is spread out over several years) won't be significantly more expensive than getting a team involved on creating and marketing a new concept (which would be a sole upfront cost). Plus the idea of using a well known name is a tasty incentive. And then as for keeping the IPs, one has to imagine it just works out cheaper to get a renewal fee than redoing an attraction. Derren Brown is a great performer; I enjoy his work. But to compare him to Walt Disney is just not it. He won't leave a lasting legacy comparable to Disney. These days, he is still a known performer, who can have sell out shows on tour and create intrigue whenever he does a TV show. He'll trend for a day or two or whatever. But that's it. His popularity has peaked. It's not a bad thing, but he's just not this superstar name.

I am certainly interested in meets resuming (and know a few others who are too!) I think a summer meet (maybe for Carnival?) and Fright Nights meet is a good start for this year. Obviously, we're still in a pandemic (even if it doesn't always feel like it), but I think people have gotten used to a more cautious way of living that we can successfully have a meet and cater for everyone and their respective comfort levels

I don't know what the reason is, but it won't be this. It will never be this with Merlin. There will be three key departments involved here: a rides department, an engineering department and a Fastrack department. Obviously they will all work in conjunction with each other, but they are all very separate and with different aims. For example, the rides department will have two key aims: 1. Ensure the ride gets as high throughput as possible 2. Ensure operational downtime is minimal (ie downtime not caused by mechanical / engineering problems that they cannot control) Obviously this is all done with safety being the top priority, etc etc. The rides department will not care how people got on the ride (ie if they queued normally, Fastrack, RAP), just how many got on. They have to manage this as good as possible though, but they're not motivated by sales in any way. They also may need more staff to run some rides on full capacity, but again, they will not be motivated to bring in less staff so the Fastrack department earns more money, for example. Equally, the engineering department's aim will be: 1. Ensure the ride opens on time 2. Ensure the ride is available on as high a capacity as possible / as demanded 3. Minimise downtime caused by potential engineering problems Again, with safety being a priority still, etc Their targets and motivation will again have nothing to do with Fastrack. The Fastrack department has one aim: make as much money as possible. They'll have targets for each day, depending on budgeted guest numbers, etc. If a ride has a reduced capacity, it increases the queue time which can allow them to sell more. But then there - should be! - a point where sense and logic overtakes profits and they stop selling them. tl;dr - Merlin parks never reduce capacity / inflate queue times to purposefully increase Fastrack sales. However, it is a convenient side effect which does happen.

The spacing between boats was non-uniform. The spacing between some was minimal and no different to, say, 10-15 years ago. Other boats had some space between them, which really was just down to the a reduced number of boats imo

As with Benin, like the idea and sure it'll be fab. Little concerned by location, as it will be difficult to effectively compliment the park's current entrance.