PortAventura: An Apology (Feat. Tibidabo)

[Mega-Lite]

For the years I've put off visiting, I apologise.

For the jokes I've made with no reasoning behind them, I apologise.

For ever believing the rubbish the enthusiast community spits out about you, I apologise.

 

PortAventura, I'm on my knees, I beg you, please forgive me.

 

This weekend just gone, me and my friend made our first ever trip to PA, a trip that's been years in the making, that kept getting put off, in part due to lack of interest but also due to reading lots of negative things online, well those people were doing it wrong and here's why....

 

Day 1

 

Saturday morning started with an extremely early Easyjet flight from Gatwick to Barcelona, a flight which sadly went by without any significant comedy.

 

We arrived in Barcelona and it was time to try out a new car hire company, for those keeping track at home our relationship with car hire companies is patchy at best. A charming cheap little purple car was our chariot for this trip and it was too cute for even a miserable bastard like me to insult.

 

As we set off for Tibidabo (the first park of our trip) it was pouring it down with rain, but this isn't Asia, surely this won't matter? After driving for 20 minutes up the insanely tight mountain roads to the brave boy car park (you can park at the bottom and take a bus or be brave and drive up the mountain and park at the entrance), the car park attendant informs us, "park's closed but I'll let you in the car park". Without really thinking we took the parking ticket and proceeded to drive into the empty car park, as we left he told us to pay at the ticket office before leaving.

 

For a few moments we sat in the car thinking to ourselves, is this seriously happening? Why is it becoming so hard these days, we seem to be getting spited everywhere at the moment. Right, fair enough, time to grow up, let's walk to the ticket office, pay for this parking ticket we didn't use and ask the staff are they going to be open tomorrow. However, the ticket offices (located outside the park) were closed and the entry gate to the park was bolted shut, I guess we aren't paying for anything. Thankfully we had a friendly bloke working the barriers, who upon seeing we were English deemed it easier to just let us go rather than try to talk it out, top bloke.

 

To be fair, the rain was quite heavy...

 

Right, OK, we will try to come back tomorrow but for now let's head to PortAventura. The one and a half hour drive to PA went by without much to report, apart from the tolls which were a nasty surprise.

 

We were staying onsite in Hotel Caribe, which can be best described as a collection of many 4 star Butlin's chalets. The room was clean, the bed was comfy, the bathroom was great and the noise was minimal, no complaints at all here.

 

Upon entering the hotel car park, security give the car a once over, which in my eyes is absolutely fine, I'll happily put up with having to open the boot for a friendly security guard if it means everyone is safe.

 

This was my view from the hotel car park, ugly isn't it?

 

After checking in at the hotel, you are given your room key, which also doubles as your park entrance pass, so there's no more faffing about after the initial wait, you don't even need to check out, too easy.

 

A short walk from the hotel later and we were now standing in one of the most universally moaned about parks in this hobby, let's go test those claims shall we.

 

 

What a lovely view.

 

Not going to lie we spent the first hour in the park well and truly lost. During this time we got a nice tasting toastie (I swear I've read the food isn't good here, I guess that's wrong) from Camila Cabello, who now apparently works in the China area of PA, small World eh. After this we tried to go ride the mine train, but got lost again and somehow ended up at the park's 3 woodies.

 

Stampida

 

After reading online that Stampida is either rough or crap, I went in thinking the worst and prepared for a beating, a beating that never came. Stampida is great! This racing woodie is damn good fun, has great pops of air time (sometimes taking me by surprise and putting a huge grin on my face), tons of fun laterals and the racing and duelling is fantastic! Easily the best CCI I've ridden, yes better than Zeus and Megafobia and not miles behind the outstanding racing GCI (Draak) at Efteling. This coaster just has so much character to it and was the sleeper hit of the trip, I just love it.

 

 

Tomahawk

 

While obviously not as good as it's big brother, this baby woodie is very well done and it's interactions with Stampida are genius, fantastic stuff.

 

 

Right next to Tomahawk is a singing vulture, it was about this time I decided I like this park.

 

El Diablo

 

After what felt like forever we finally found the entrance to the mine train! This was my first ever Arrow mine train coaster and I can't wait to hunt down more, this thing is brilliant. This coaster just has something for everyone, 3 lifts, a mince through a shed, a drop out of the station like Helix, a long ride time to rest your legs, hilarious transitions and some genuinely forceful moments, amazing.

 

  

 

Dragon Khan

 

What a bitter disappointment this old school B&M was. It's not easy for me to say this because I've idolised this coaster for years and there's no denying it looks outstanding but honestly, what a waste this thing is. A force less first drop, followed by inversion after inversion with no attempt to shake things up is just lazy in my opinion. Some air time moments or some fun twisty bits really would have shaken up the layout but instead, it's just inversion after inversion, which bores me. A boring coaster is 1 thing but DK adds insult to injury with the fact if you are sitting in the outside seats things get quite rattly and unpleasant. I'm sorry Khan, but nah, not for me.

 

Yes that queue board says Shambhala has a 10 minute queue, I hope that hurts the Shambhala fanboys that read this.

 

Khan gave me a headache so I slithered into Sesame to buy something sugary and while there rode the Vekoma Junior.

 

Tami-Tami

 

+1

 

Shambhala

 

Now full of coke and donuts we headed to Shambhala, a coaster many rave about and some even call their number 1, I'm sorry for what's about to happen.

 

Even with low expectations going in, I still managed to walk away disappointed. Shambhala is good but it certainly isn't great and there's no way it's a top 10 ride in my eyes.

 

The first drop is completely void of any forces and it just sort of happens, then every air time hill tries but ultimately fails to do anything exciting and the trim brake trimming an already mincing ride is hilarious. Shambhala's speed hill is the only part of the coaster that gives any sort of good air and you're trimmed by the aforementioned trim brake as you enter it!

 

We rode Shambhala at least twice a day, in different seats, in the sun, in the rain, in the wind, in the morning, in the evening, in the afternoon and always the same result. Trust me I really wanted to love it but it's honestly so lacklustre.

 

As with Khan it does look beautiful though.

 

This crushing disappointment sent me to the toilet with crushing bowel movements, unlike Phantasialand, PortAventura let you deal with that in peace.

 

After another lap on Stampida, El Diablo and Shambala we ended our day with Furius Baco.

 

Furius Baco

 

Countless time I've read Baco is one of the worst coasters out there and that it's so rough it's going to break my spine, well did it? Of course it didn't...

 

Firstly credit to the park, they got this open after a lengthy breakdown with just an hour till close, worst operations in the World? I think not.

 

Furius Baco isn't good, but it isn't rough either, it's just hilarious.

 

Something about monkeys happens, then you launch, everything starts bouncing, you're flying around too fast to even see what's happening, you do an inline, it bounces round some water into the brakes, the end.

 

 

That evening after a very pleasant day on park, I thought to myself, how can my experience with PA be so much different than everyone elses? The park looks fantastic, operations are good, the staff are very friendly, Baco didn't kill me, Shambhala and Khan are bit crap, the hotel is nice, the food is good and Stampida is brilliant. What's going on guys? 

 

Join me next time for Tibidabo and more PA goodness.

[Benin]

That queue board is why you've not had the 'true' PA experience; like pretty much any park, an empty park is an enjoyable one... It's hard for even PA and their lacklustre operations (mean Baco is still 30 minutes because Baco) to be awful when there's 10 minutes of queue (and likely barely any Fastpass going on)...

 

Those ride opinions are awful though...

[Project LC]

I understand shambhala, dragon khan and baco but I don't understand how you enjoyed stampedia.

 

The food in the park is appalling at the restaurants. The side places serving food are ok.

[TPC]

You are certainly not the only one with those feelings @Mega-Lite. I also felt very similar to you, for nearly everything you said. Shambahla is just disappointing (if you aren't in the back row with a loose restraint). Dragon Khan is just rough. The food (only ever got chips) were overpriced but decent enough. Stampida blue was very good, but the red side was far too rough (basically the coaster itself is good but the rides roughness on it ruins it). Furius Baco is seriously under rated and is quite fun for  what it is. El Diablo is alright, so certainly don't think you are in the minority with your feelings!

[Matt 236]

Absolutely astounding you managed to actually have a highly enjoyable PA visit. 

 

When I I was there operations, staff (especially customer service) and food were awful. I will say though there was a sandwich place near Baco which was ok but that’s bad about it. 

 

Understabd about Khan, but not too sure on the others. I found Stampida ok, Baco surprisingly enjoyable and El Diablo boring apart from the very start and end of the ride. 

 

Shambhala seems to be a surprisingly marmite one, where people either rank amongst their favourites or find it overrated. I’m the former there so you can take that as you like. 

 

I had a love-hate on my previous visit, but probably won’t return in a rush. 

 

At least Phantasialand toilets are themes though. 

[Mattgwise]

2 hours ago, Matt Creek said:

Absolutely astounding you managed to actually have a highly enjoyable PA visit. 

But the company you were with made it a highly enjoyable visit

[Matt 236]

The company (along with Shambhala & Illuminations) was the saving grace for the trip.

[Mega-Lite]

11 hours ago, Benin said:

Those ride opinions are awful though...

Says the man with Shame-hala and OzIris in his top 10...

 

11 hours ago, Benin said:

It's hard for even PA and their lacklustre operations (mean Baco is still 30 minutes because Baco) to be awful when there's 10 minutes of queue (and likely barely any Fastpass going on)...

The unwashed masses descended on my 3rd day and operations were good, certainly a lot better than Merlin in recent years. Every seat filled, fast dispatches and quick restarts from breakdowns, not sure what else you expect?

 

8 hours ago, Project LC said:

The food in the park is appalling at the restaurants.

I had a sit down meal in the pizza restaurant near Baco on my 2nd day, it was lovely, you are mistaken.

[Marc]

49 minutes ago, Mega-Lite said:

Says the man with Shame-hala and OzIris in his top 10...

 

The unwashed masses descended on my 3rd day and operations were good, certainly a lot better than Merlin in recent years. Every seat filled, fast dispatches and quick restarts from breakdowns, not sure what else you expect?

 

I had a sit down meal in the pizza restaurant near Baco on my 2nd day, it was lovely, you are mistaken.

Maybe things have changed this year, I love PA but their operations on every visit of mine are easily the worse of any park I’ve been too - certainly no efforts to fill seats / quick dispatches so hopefully they’ve realised for a park of their popularity they really needed better operations.

[TPC]

The issue is express which gains complete and utter priority over the guests in the main queue. At least, shambahla is operated well in that sense with a single riders line, that doesn't require any extra staff AHEM Alton towers.

[Mark9]

Intrigued as to why you said Shambhala is 'an already mincing ride'. Is Shambhala effeminate in some way?

 

You've had a completely opposite trip to both times I've visited and it's kind of interesting that because you've had a good trip you think everyone else is just talking rubbish about the place. 

[Benin]

11 hours ago, Mega-Lite said:

Says the man with Shame-hala and OzIris in his top 10...

 

 

 

Going to an empty park ALWAYS shows off a better vibe, especially when it comes to PA who oversell Fastpass more than Thorpe do...

 

It's the definition of a scratch below the surface park, because it looks pretty and is themed to the hilt, but then you realise that it's run like crap and there's very few positive things beyond the 2 B&Ms and Templo del Feugo...

 

That people say Khan is rough when Baco is in the same park still astounds me...

[TPC]

Dragon Khan is considerably longer than Furius Baco meaning the pain lasts for longer. Also, placing your head in the the right position for Furius Baco reduces the majority of the pain, while wherever you place your head on Dragon Khan, you get a very rough, uncomfortable ride. Furthermore, Dragon Khan lacks the theming that Furius Baco has, which makes you get less distracted and feel the pain more.

[Mega-Lite]

10 hours ago, Benin said:

Going to an empty park ALWAYS shows off a better vibe, especially when it comes to PA who oversell Fastpass more than Thorpe do...

I guess you missed the part where I told you the crowds picked up on the Monday, that's fine, that part of the report comes soon...

 

10 hours ago, Benin said:

It's the definition of a scratch below the surface park, because it looks pretty and is themed to the hilt, but then you realise that it's run like crap and there's very few positive things beyond the 2 B&Ms and Templo del Feugo...

But it wasn't running like crap at all...?

 

Your whole, "if you didn't have a f**king awful time you haven't seen the true PA" agenda is quite obnoxious honestly.

 

I tell you lot I had 3 great days at PA and you say, "that's a fluke, it's not the true experience, it's an awful place, you're wrong". I tell you lot I've had 2 bad experiences with Phantasialand and you say, "oh, that's just bad luck mate, you're being a d**k, go back and try it again, that place is to die for". The double standards are quite hilarious really.

[Mega-Lite]

Day 2

 

It's been so long since I've had a truly relaxing park trip and coupled with the fact I think my Australasia trip may have given me chronic fatigue, I was so happy to be able to get a good nights sleep in, staying on site and sleeping late is the way forward guys.

 

Today started with a trip to Ferrari Land, the new park/land located next to the current park but accessed through a different gate, which means if you aren't staying on site, you have to pay 16 Euros or something for entry. I've paid more for less so I wouldn't have a problem if I had to pay but I can totally see the argument against it being a separate entrance fee.

 

As we were powering through the turnstiles, dodging the unwashed masses, a member of staff asked if we had time to answer a few questions. Well we are only 3 feet into the park and haven't experienced Ferrari Land yet, so no. I wish they were still there as we left though, because my thoughts on the park weren't fantastic, oh well I can just moan on here...

 

Red Force

 

We headed straight to Red Force, a coaster I've made fun of multiple times, did it deserve it? Sort of.

 

There's no denying that much like myself it's an ugly bastard. The supports holding up the top hat are so messy and extend way too far back from the coaster for my liking. Then there's the track, I don't like that new style of Intamin track as is, but coupled with that set up it just looks so off. I won't mention the stupid logos stuck on at 3 strange angles, oh wait, I did.

 

As for the coaster itself though, it's fine, that's pretty much the best way to review it. It's pretty much Stealth with a better ending and trains.

 

The LIM launch we all moaned about is more than capable but it's nothing outstanding, then the rest is pretty much bog standard Intamin accelerator coaster. I'd rate it exactly how I rate Stealth, "meh, it's alright". The pop of air into the end brakes is by far the best bit of the ride and it even managed to injure my friend's balls during that part, so that's a bonus.

 

 

After 2 laps of Red Force, we'd seen enough and I was happy to leave, but my friend insisted we tested out the other Ferrari Land attractions, in hindsight he probably deserves another shot to the balls by Red Force for this.

 

Flying Dreams

 

After no less than 3 insanely pretentious (like me?) preshows you board a flying theatre, in which you travel the World to watch Ferrari's p**sing about.. The thing hardly moves, the screen was blurry, you could see the warehouse roof, was s**t.

 

Racing Legends

 

After the same awful pretentious preshow, followed by 2 new ones, you sit in a simulator with 6 other Spanish people, then you jiggle infront of a screen, pretending you are racing on lots of different tracks of the World, meh.

 

A quick review of Ferrari Land then, if you are into Ferrari stuff and you're willing to look past the lack of things to do, the fact Ferrari is Italian, the slightly cheap feel of some bits and the additional entrance cost, then I reckon you could have a pretty fun time. If you aren't really into Ferrari, the park is currently ride Red Force twice (to be sure), then go back into the main park and be left dry by Shambhala.

 

After we left the living Ferrari advert, we popped back into the main park to redo the coasters before heading off for an evening at Tibidabo.

 

To prove everyone wrong and because we were hungry, we decided to try out the pizza place next to Baco. Fantastically friendly staff, a lovely pizza, an interior I felt too poor to experience, a man playing Kpop on his phone and a very reasonable bill was what we were greeted with. Awful food you say, nah mate...

 

We rode the train from Baco land to China, rode the lacklustre B&M collection, rode Diablo on route to the woodies, where we were as yet unbeaten in a race.

 

Tibidabo - https://rcdb.com/5114.htm

 

It began raining heavily as we left PA for Tibidabo, which made for a tense drive, would we be spited again?

 

Luckily we weren't and thank God because this park is fantastic!

 

This charming little park is located on top of the highest mountain in the region and provides breathtaking views of Barcelona.

 

 

Muntanya Russa - https://rcdb.com/3596.htm

 

This terrain based Vekoma is such a joy to ride and really reminded me of a smaller Lisebergbanan. A gorgeous first drop with outstanding views, followed by many twists and turns and a hilariously useless airtime hill. I really fell quite hard for this little coaster.

 

 

 

Virtual Express - https://rcdb.com/1831.htm

 

The park's Zamperla powered coaster was a bit crap. The best part of the ride was that we managed to ride it without wearing the VR, take that RCDB!

 

After many laps of Muntanya, we attempted to travel from the "lower level" of the park to the "viewing platform" of the park, where some of the older weirder rides call home. After many failed attempts to call a lift, we settled on climbing the many stairs to reach the elusive viewing platform.

 

It was certainly worth the effort however because some of the rides up here will stay with me forever for just how crazy they were.

 

Avio (AKA Plane On A Stick)

 

A plane on a stick, that's been operating since 1928, not much more I can say, it's so weird but I love it.

 

 

L'Embruixabruixes

 

A suspended 8 seater monorail that opened in 1915. This thing was incredible! One second you're outside, hoping it doesn't collapse and drop you off the mountain and next second you're travelling through projection mapped dark ride sections. It's so crazy and no word of a lie the ending will change you forever, I'm still haunted by it.

 

Talaia (AKA Bucket On A Stick)

 

So the amazing views of Barcelona from the viewing platform aren't enough for you? Well then, climb into an almost 100 year old bucket attached to an almost 100 year old stick, with nothing holding you in and nothing stopping it from swaying. Easily one of the coolest, yet scariest rides I've ridden in years, highly recommend.

 

 

 

We ran from Bucket On A Stick, down the many stairs (I only almost died twice), to get one more lap of Muntanya. With the sun going down and the city lighting up, that first drop was bliss.

 

Tibidabo is lovely. A beautiful little park with a solid coaster, fascinating history, killer views and mass amounts of character, I've no idea how many of the people who make the PA pilgrimage yearly visit this place but I really hope it's most.

 

Thanks to the sat nav being crap we ended up arriving back at PA and our hotel at gone 11pm but that didn't bother us too much. The feeling of already being checked into a hotel, so you can just get back and crash is underrated.

 

Thanks for reading.

[Mega-Lite]

Day 3

 

After another wonderful night's sleep, we woke up to face our last day at PortAventura.

 

I ate half my breakfast on the little balcony thing attached to our hotel room, because after 2 days of cold and rain, today was looking to be a nice one, awesome.

 

Today was a lot busier than the previous 2 days, not sure if that's down to the Spanish only flocking when the weather is good (they'd never be able to visit parks in the UK) or because everyone avoided the weekend assuming it was busy, then all showed up today, making it busy, fail.

 

We were awake early enough today to slither into the park during their opening, which meant we got funky Spanish music and some form of dancing water show on the lake.

 

.

If Shambhala rode as good as it looks, I'd probably have a new top 10 roller coaster, but alas, nah.

 

We powered straight to China to beat the unwashed masses to Shambhala.

 

Success! Also, what is PortAventura's obsession with switchback queuelines?

 

We rode Shambhala and Khan, then made our way back to Baco, which was just as funny as we remembered.

 

 

After a snacky lunch we headed back for one last slither on Stampida. The coaster broke down while we were at the airgates, but the fantastic engineering team had the wagons rolling again in next to no time. Sadly after 4 wins, our 5th lap was to be our undoing and we lost convincingly, good things can't last forever and all that.

 

Even though today was considerably busier than the previous 2, the hosts on all the coasters were filling every seat and dispatching as soon as possible on most occasions. All coasters except Shambhala (they said capacity was reduced due to the weather?) were running 2 trains and queues were flying.

 

We thoroughly enjoyed our last lap of Diablo, if you told me I'd be craving multiple laps of an Arrow mine train before this trip I'd have called you crazy, but Diablo is just such a good little ride.

 

Now that the weather had improved we decided to try out the park's rapids, while not as good as some other Intamin rapids, they were very fun and I'd definitely recommend giving them a go when you're on park.

 

After days of walking past a dopey looking dinosaur, we thought we might as well try out Dino Escape 4D. Things started off pretty well, with the indoor queueline being very well themed, unfortunately the simulator portion of the attraction was average at best.

 

He looks so pleased that he tricked me into his sub par attraction!

 

We waited just over an hour for 1 last lap on Shambhala to cap off the holiday, you can't say I didn't try my best to love it, it's just a shame I didn't.

 

As previously mentioned (and not rubbed in your faces, so calm down Mark), PA seems to get a terrible rep from the enthusiast community, based on lots of factors, none of which I saw myself. Now whether this rep comes from past truths that have now been corrected or perhaps it's the edgy hip thing to slag off PA at every turn I don't know. I just know I had 3 enjoyable and relaxing days on park and that's all that matters to me.

 

As a park, I really enjoyed PA and I'll be excited to return if such an opportunity ever comes up. However while the park itself is great, I'm not sure the same can be said for the ride line up. Stampida is great, Diablo is good fun, but the rest of the line up is pretty average and doesn't really do anything for me. I can't quite believe I walked away with nothing good to say about Shambhala and Khan but that's exactly what's happened, oh well.

 

The departures area of the Easyjet terminal at Barcelona airport is disgusting, with the only food on offer being badly made ham and cheese sandwiches which cost £6! Couple that with actual p**s on the gate seats and it made for a rather awful experience. As if by magic though, an evening Easyjet flight was on time, Christ!

 

Until next time, thanks for reading.

[Project LC]

1 hour ago, Mega-Lite said:

 The departures area of the Easyjet terminal at Barcelona airport is disgusting, with the only food on offer being badly made ham and cheese sandwiches which cost £6!

Good it wasn't just me who thought the departure terminal with easyJet is just the worst and a highly unpleasant place to be.