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Went to Tulleys on Saturday and despite the rain it was fab. Chop Shop had me screaming and crying then I burst into tears at the exit - the actors in there are bloody terrifying and as much as I nearly ? myself, it did what it is meant to do and be scary. I’ve never screamed in a horror maze before or been so terrified (I thought Sub Species last year was bad when I burst into tears after the maze but this one I was crying throughout most of it ??) Haunted Hayride is still my absolute favourite - so unique and fun but also quite scary in places. Didnt bother with the hooded maze as they do nothing for me other than make me struggle to breath and sweat profusely. Really enjoyed The Colony and Coven aswell. The others are good but stand out ones for me would be Chop Shop (even though I don’t think I could do it ever again), Haunted Hayride, Colony and Covern. I like the fact that they are all free flow and all are decent length mazes - something that Thorpe could do with taking note of. The roaming actors are brilliant - great with guests and really adds to the atmosphere. When I was sat having a coffee there were a group of girls behind us and one of the clowns went up to them - one of the girls was terrified of clowns and he turned round and was having some great banter with the group - though when he said to the girl that was scared “don’t look under your bed tonight....I’m gonna make a sweater out of your skin” she started crying ? but the actor was fab and ended up making her laugh. Finally Circus of Horrors - wow - I’ve never seen them live before and wasn’t expecting much but the show was brilliant - really well put together and hugely entertaining - if I’d had time I would have happily paid to go and see the show again. I know some people were understandably disappointed that it was hinted that there would be a new maze but I personally think Circus of Horrors is perfect for Tulleys and it gives more variety than adding another maze - a new maze would be nice but I would personally prefer them to have Circus return and totally retheme a current maze - such as the clowns one which I think is one of the weakest. Ive not done a huge amount of Halloween attractions - literally Tulleys, Howloween, fright nights and Scarefest but Tulleys stands head and shoulders above the others in terms of theming, acting and variety of mazes and attractions. Finally, staff at Tulleys were so friendly - the only slight downside to the evening was the rain but that can’t be helped.

“Nothing can be worse than Big Top 2015 or Platform 15 2016!!” Vulcan Peak: “Hold my beer!!” Seriously sad seeing the reviews for the quality of attractions this year especially given that 10 years ago, we had four solid indoor mazes in the form of Asylum,Hellgate,The Curse and Se7en!! Goes to show, “Quality over quantity!!” I myself can’t really say anything about the event this year as I am not attending fright nights this year, but hearing all the feedback from friends of mine who have gone to the event and seeing the reviews online tells me that it really is concerning times for this event which has been on the decline for some time now in my eyes. It really does need a major shake up next year in order to save the event now because in terms of quality, it really is starting to really lag behind other events such as Scarefest and Shocktoberfest. That is quite sad for those who remember the years when Fright Nights was right up there as one of the best Halloween events in the country.

I was there Saturday also - will do a full review shortly! Think Clowns 4D was my highlight this year, due to the interaction in there - we had paid for VIP tickets (back in February!) so had multiple goes and they remembered me each time, and when spotting my Smiler hoodie, proceeded to sing The Smiler "ha ha ha ha" Towers theme in my face and ears! I love that sort of interaction. Roaming actors are flipping brilliant at Tulleys - love the red headed woman on stilts with horns, Frankenstein's monster and wife were awesome too, the guys with Darren the rat in his box - but big shout out to the three nurses ? Such bloomin' good fun, and decided to give me a "check up" which was packed full of double entendres, making me squat on my knees and being told to make sure I kept eye contact, how they were concerned I looked stiff, and that I wasn't lubricated enough, showing me tongue exercises etc ? I needed a lie down! I think one of them is called Melody from talking to a mate who works there, kudos to her for making me laugh and embarrassed in equal measures! PS. Yes rain wasn't ideal but it was a lot better in the end than the forecast was!

Yes she's ruddy clever is Mrs. Red Haired Fire Lady. She was awesome when I took that photo - she looked truly like an animal/creature going from a normal pose slowly turning into the horror of what I took! ? Yes, Frankenstein's Monster and his wife were great like I say - all the street team are awesome at Tulley's - love the swamp monsters hiding in the queue/tunnel bit too - talk about dedication! Ooops sorry for seeing me in the non-peasants queue Tulley's is the only place I pay for VIP/Fastrack, buying the VIP in February is such a bargain. From memory, my maze tally was: Coven of 13: 3 Chop Shop: 4 Clowns 4D: 3 VIXI: 1 Creepy Cottage: 2 The Cellar: 2 The Colony: 2 Haunted Hayride: 2 Absolutely loved Twisted Clowns 4D this year - I just think it's something a bit different from a maze, and a bit of a laugh as well as jump scares etc. without any chainsaws The 3D effects work very well too, and as well as "the Smiler" ha-ha chanting, there was good interaction with other actors too. Similarly, in Hellements VIXI, the actor Jordan spotted my hoodie and also chanted the Smiler theme at me! Slight niggles of the night were confusion with security at the entrance not knowing that us VIPs don't have to queue and can go straight to the front (soz) and being sent round in a group of TWENTY FIVE on Colony which was ridiculous. Only happened the once but I think they were panicking trying to get the queue down - when we went on a Friday last year, the queues were basically empty after 10/10.30 but that wasn't the case at all on this Saturday... plus there were certainly a lot more "annoying little so-and-sos" out for the night I think the guys in Chop Shop weren't being quite so jumpy and violent due to the weather and the floors being more slippery than usual! That said it was bloody great as always! I liked the new mesh-maze section in The Colony, that reminded me of The Big Top a bit (RIP). The Cellar was a real highlight last year but didn't seem to have many actors in it this year. VIXI had a heck of a lot of actors in (especially versus Vulcan Peak ) and the fire and cold effects worked well but hooded mazes just aren't my bag (HA!) I do like the fake exit and then extra bit after, that's good (that was there last year too mind you!) The Colony is MASSIVE as a maze, it's a proper work out - incredible stuff. Think it's even longer this year! We tried to get a great run through but the groups we were with weren't the best, if that makes sense - it's a precise art staying back from the next group for the perfect haunt experience Still love the laser effect on Colony of 13, and this also had some very strong performances this year. Think my biggest jump of the night came in Twisted Clowns though where an actor managed to get me twice from nowhere in the space of 30 seconds - like I say, really loved this maze this year! This year's Hayride is a bit different - the Thriller dancing made everyone laugh... think I still prefer last years though. I know it's such an ENTHUSIASTS term but Tulley's truly is the IMMERSIVE Halloween event. Shout out too to the smell of bonfires when you have a shower the morning after! Back to Thorpe on Thursday to compare and contrast - am going with a mate who hasn't been for years, and I genuinely love going with newbies to Thorpe/Alton Towers as it's a far more enjoyable day out for me

Let’s go ahead and give an answer to the loggers leap “will it, won’t it” saga. This is correct. Nothing to do with insurance or other rumours, been told this directly from a Thorpe Park engineer. Why Thorpe wasn’t just honest and said it was closed indefinately from the get go, who knows. To meet regulations, the water would be required to be filtered and treated etc, plus the attraction needed extensive repairs anyway. It is cheaper to build a new loggers leap than repair the existing one. For those pointing out that Rumba Rapids uses lake water, it’s something to do with the fact they haven’t done any renovations or extensive work to ride system itself so is still regulated by old regulations, not sure about the ins and outs of that myself. Plus Rumba doesn’t get you soaked more of a splash (though this is my guess).

I've done the mazes a couple of times now, so here's some thoughts from me... Saw Alive Surprisingly, my early favourite for the event. Saw has been consistently good, and this year is no different. The ending still lacks oompf, but it's generally good this year. Platform 15 I'm not a fan of the new story this year (a train full of wedding guests is crashed into a non-existing oil pit by the jealous conductor who appears at the end) - I preferred last year's incarnation. Nonetheless, Platform remains good this year, with the tunnel having a good number of actors. It still suffers from the same problems as last year - a slow beginning and a weak ending, and it hasn't reached the heights of last year, but it's still good. Living Nightmare I've decided - Living Nightmare is not a good maze. The route is poor. There's only 3 recognisable scenes - hospital bed, Don't Open Dead Inside doors and the prison scene. Anything else, despite being well themed, isn't that recognisable to anyone who knows nothing about the show. The maze isn't set up for scares very well. The pre show isn't as good without getting people to kneel on the floor. The script features a lot more swearing now (which makes sense given how sweary Negan is), but it feels cheap. Actors in the strobe section were good at teaming up on people though. Do or Die How do you describe this. It's good, yet still misses the mark. There's some nice touches with the theming, there's some good story moments, but equally there's black walls which are there for the sake of it, and bits that make no sense - why are we being told to find food or become food when you've assured us this place is safe? There's a chainsaw section about 2/3 of the way through, which just feels like it's there for the sake of it more than anything else. So there's potential there. There actors have a good scope for dark humour which I love. But it just needs more oompf. Dead Creek Woods Dead Creek is okay. It's a confusing, easily lost, story. It has moments which are okay, but equally it just feels very standard Thorpe fodder. Again, a chainsaw 2/3 of the way through, but it doesn't capitalise on it - you just sort of stroll through the rest of the maze. I guess it can't be at the end due to the uneven / sloped floor, but it just makes the rest of the maze feel so...dead. Blair Witch A decent incarnation of the maze. Lots of thick trees and woodland which really works with the concept of the maze. The fact that there's a shed at the start of the maze, which you avoid, before you eventually come back to it at the end was clever (fitting in with the whole 'you go round in circles' idea of the story), though that was actually lost on me at first! Despite the significantly shorter route, it does snake round well. The trouble with Blair is, ultimately, there's not much scope for it - actors act creepy, do creepy things, but you're very much a bystander, until the strobe shed. 2015 still remains, by far, my favourite version of this maze. The route started off open, then gradually got narrower. Actors would appear and disappear. They worked with loud noises, impact scares and general creepiness to build something which did work. But this isn't a bad version. Vulcan Peak Awful. Awful. Awful. From the set up which makes no sense, to the pre show which you can't hear, to the bags you can see through, to the not-atmospheric 'don't look at the locals' announcement that rings through the whole maze, to the bad soundtrack in the maze, to the lack of actors, to the lack of scares, to the ending where you arguably take your bag off far too soon. Basically everything. I'm guessing a large part of I'm a Celebrity cannot be used as a traditional maze, because if people bump into the rock work or walls, it will hurt a lot. And with jump scares and the like, it makes sense that a traditional maze wouldn't work. A hooded maze is a good way around this, but it doesn't work. Bad audio. No exposure to touch or smell. It fails miserably, and arguably is the worst maze Thorpe have churned out. Screamplexx 4D You go into the cinema, and watch one of 5 films which is randomly chosen. These films vary between 2-10 minutes in length and have clearly been cheaply produced. They aren't in 3D. They don't use any special effects. It's a waste. Terror at Amity High It's okay. Literally just actors dancing around. Adds a bit of atmosphere, but not really what they've advertised. Big Top Showtime Ignoring the travesty that Big Top isn't returning, this is okay. Mostly because there's loads of people who hate clowns, so people react very well to the actors, which creates a great atmosphere. But again, not a scare zone. Containment - Apparently the same as the past couple of years, so doesn't warrant me bothering to do it. So yeah, this year's Fright Nights is okay. Some good attractions, a few bad ones. They've clearly gone for quantity over quality and it really shows. Everyone would much rather have 5 quality mazes with good throughputs than 11 attractions of varying quality and questionable throughputs. The event lacks a headline attraction, which in the past has been taken by Asylum, Studio 13 and The Big Top (even if those mazes weren't the best, they were always a clear focal point for the event). To just add - Saw has never been my favourite Fright Nights in any year since it opened. I don't think this year it's been particularly better than other years, so that means - on the whole - quality has reduced across the park. The event needs a massive shake up next year in my opinion. Arguably an event like this should have no more than 1 outdoor maze, and needs 5 quality indoor attractions. An event with Saw, Living Nightmare, Platform, 3 more indoor mazes plus Containment would be perfect for the park at the moment. I don't see that happening, but that's what should happen now. To shorten it up, here's my favourite mazes this year in order: 1) Saw Alive 2=) Platform 15 / Do or Die 4) Dead Creek Woods 5) Blair Witch 6) Living Nightmare 7) Leaving the park, going to Chessington via the M25, going through Trick or Treat Wood, coming back to Thorpe via the M25 8) Vulcan Peak

My thoughts from last night's mEDiA pRESs NigHT at the Island Like No Other as follows... Top 5 Celebs I spotted. 1. TheJackSilkstone - was behind him in the free buffet queue so I now know how to create the SICKEST of SICK combos of buffet food. ? 2. The Scottish Man What Won Strictly Last Year 3. Err.... Right onto the important stuff - at approx 9pm the bar bill on just one of the tills in Fins was over £2k already. Oh no wait, I jest, now onto the important stuff... Mazes Ranked from Best to Really Really Really Awful: 1. BLAIR WITCH If you told me I was going to find this the best maze of the night before visiting, I would have said pickle me sideways and call be Shawn Sanbrooke but alas here we are! We had 3 run throughs on this, two of which where we were in just a pair and I have to say, the first in particularly, was ruddy brilliant. The scene is set very well at the start, love ending up "back where you started", some excellent jump scares, was proper dark and you really did feel you were going through the woods - Thorpe have played a blinder with the scenery in the dark, not so sure how it would work at 3pm! One run we had in a group of 8 (C'mon guys it's press night m8) wasn't as good so maybe come proper FN's with large groups this won't rank highly among da fans - but yes, for us it was our standout. One thing I will say - the Heras temporary fencing (Thorpe love the stuff) at the very start should have black plastic or a thicker tarpaulin on it because yellow (?!) doesn't exactly set the scene, nor does it manage to hide the platform of P15 to the left, so you can see the tour guide waiting for guests. I can also forsee the queue of Blair Witch going far far beyond the area they have set aside, it's tiny. 2. CONTAINMENT Cracking run on this in it's tweaked format. We were useless. The actors were most definitely not - the blonde girl doing the doctor intro at the start was fantastic, delivered so many lines as if she knew them like the back of her hand and performed it like she meant it. No actors in first room obvs, but the second room with the clocks - man, the actor in there was losing his sh**, amazing stuff, trashing the filing cabinet, getting up in our faces, muttering about time, freaking out - awesome. Similarly, the dentist room next was equally as hectic and delivered with passion, I was made to sit on the chair and the actor performed the creepy dentist role perfectly - also love how the assistant in the back ground does nothing and just looks creepy - until you get into room 4 where it all kicks off! Again we were thoroughly impressed with this attraction and the actors involved last night should be commended if they end up reading this, they knocked it out of the park. 3. THE WALKING DEAD: LIVING NIGHTMARE We got a Neagen, and Neagen had a proper mic! Impressed with this, as anticipated - top notch theming inside, and I love the intro (even if the families don't like the swears). New little twist halfway through at the car scene which worked well. As I say, love the theming on this, the bus is absolute quality and the rooms prior to that were packed with actors - good scares, breathing on your neck etc. Top tip: don't point out to the girl freaking out on her bed that her bottle of Smart Water is on her bedside table as she'll gesture to you to move away 4. MATT CREEK'S HAUNTED WOODED AREA This isn't actually a scare zone but a legit maze... we had low expectations but again there were some decent scares and everyone loves a chainsaw right? Again, a good intro and set piece (via some temporary fencing and you end up doubling back on yourself) which sets the scene well, a decent amount of actors scattered about. I liked it - some actors followed us out too (as they must have been going on their break!) but continued to scare us outside of the maze which was cool. Good interaction, and good to see the actors progressively more "contaminated" as it goes on. A solid effort if you ask me and we enjoyed. 5. SAW ALIVE Not much really to say about this - nothing has changed, it was OK... seemed to be over very quickly and there weren't too many actors vs. other mazes but it's SAW and it's well themed. 6. SANCTUM DO OR DIE THE WALKING DEAD If you look very carefully at this you can tell they've used the shipping containers from Sanctum in it's construction... We were underwhelmed by this, considerably. Expected good things - again, a good start with the bus and set piece with two actors arguing but after that it deteriorated pretty quickly. The area is too well lit (considering it was 8pm!) so you can see exactly where the actors are... just didn't do it for us at all and it all feels very temporary in it's construction (I appreciate it is temporary but you know) - this wouldn't be so noticeable if the lighting wasn't so bright. Perhaps we got unlucky with our run but for us it ranked about the same as Sanctum last year. 7. PLATFORM 15 Right, whoever's vanity project Platform 15 is at Thorpe Park - please, please, please admit defeat and get rid of it. I cannot comprehend any Youchoober or vlogstar or fan site raving about this. The walk at the start goes on for too long and does nothing in particular, walking alongside a rotting Loggers Leap, still lit up like a Christmas tree. You see the train with some dummies on it, you might get a bit of fire, you find a bride wandering about, then there's a house that smells of human faeces (which to be fair, had like 4 actors in which was random), then there's the never ending tunnel where not much happens and you get told to go back, and then you have to do a seance (and to put some positive spin on it - the actress here was good and felt like she was holding onto my hand for dear life) and then the conductor appears and then you're out, and you wonder - what the hell was all that about? And the answer is, no one actually knows. Maybe if they filled some areas with some smoke machines (although that's an expense) there'd be more atmosphere, but the walk is just too big and any pace or anticipation just goes and then you think "oh look, there's some actors coming up" and there they are. Kudos to the actors involved like I say because they were good, but the maze just doesn't work and we found it more of a chore to complete than a thrill. Sorry guys but I think Platform 15 needs a new timetable in 2019 where it gets taken over by Southern and then just never turns up. 8. VULCAN PEAK Well. Wow. This has to be quite possibly one of the most hastily and cheaply thrown together embarrassments of an attraction at Thorpe Park I've ever seen. Heck, it wasn't even supposed to open last night because it was still being finished, showing as "opening 5th October". The only plus point I can draw from this "attraction" is that they created an introduction video to watch, but make no mistake other than this, this maze is total utter garbage. I find hooded mazes pointless anyway, the original Hellements at Tulleys was poor, but they at least improved it last year by adding a live action section at the end. We must have literally had 1 actor in Vulcan Peak last night, and it was basically 5 minutes of walking round in the dark with a bag on your head. You then have to take off the bag, before walking through the inflatable walled section, and then you're out. Because that makes a lot of sense. Also - and this is possibly a small thing but it's all about the details - why on earth are there blue LED string lights in the bit where you take off your hood? Do they mean anything? Who decided to put them there? Who at Merlin signed that off? It looked like something from Maplins (RIP) and served no purpose - why not have a flickering light or something SpOoKy. Why not green so it's vaguely "jungle" themed? Anything, but that. That detail just typified the maze for me: cheap, tacky and pointless and I defy anyone to find it anything otherwise. This just screamed to me, Merlin wanted quantity over quality this year. I take pity on anyone should this get big queues and people decide to pay for a Fastrack one shot not knowing the horror that awaits. I can't comment on Fanta Horror Thing as it was still being finished (though did look quite impressive), nor Screamplexx. Spotted the Big Top show happening in the dome but didn't bother watching. Terror at Amity High - I assume this just means the roaming actors? I think? Anyway, they were out in force on the entrance bridge and were good! Massive shout out to the awesome clowns and associated freaks too, they are fantastic walking around and then starting their menacing clap before terrorising someone - genuinely top stuff there, was impressed and added to the night. More of this please! Had two rides on Stealth on the dark including one front row (swoon), a nice night ride on the smooth Swarm, a not so smooth ride on Sore The Ride, and my first ever ride on X Version 2.0. Which, to be fair to Thorpe really isn't that bad at all considering what they had to work with in terms of converting a family coaster. However, as expected, whoever signed off the article stating "15 out of 10 on the scare scale" really really needs to consider their life choices ? Total utter hyperbole as I expected but like I say - in terms of slapping on an IP on to X, they've done a pretty good job - I like the nod to X on the trains (at first I thought they'd just left the old logos on, ha!) No actor in the after ride bit though which was a shame. One thing I touched on earlier - being able to see P15 from Blair Witch etc. - those 3 mazes in Old Town are seriously seriously close together, and I wouldn't like to be queuing round there once FN's get in full swing and there's fast tracks and RAPs and what not going on because there is going to be SO many people in such a small place, it isn't going to be pretty. The Blair Witch queue as I say is tiny, assume they can extend out but yes, the quantity of mazes angle they are going for, when you have a finite amount of space like Thorpe has, could make peak times pretty horrific. Congratulations if you read all that. Bit of a mixed bag as you can see. Be intrigued as to how I find it when the general public (shudder) are allowed in when in visit on the 11th and 13th! ? Oh one thing I forgot to say - Thorpe definitely got a great bulk deal on human waste smell pods this year, bleugh! Could smell 'em in 4 different locations.