JoshC.

The Studios park sometimes feels like it loses it's way with having any kind of blend between areas / attractions. I know that is kind of the thing with a studio park - the whole premise is they are in production doing one thing here and another there, but it is so physically small that it sometimes feels a bit jarring and cramped. In a park that has been designed from scratch I don't know why they've done that. This is worst in the area loosely clustered as Toon Studio.

The star attraction here, and if queue times are to go by the whole park, is Crush's Coaster. So this MS spinner simply can't cope with the numbers required at a Disney park and the constantly full queue is a dull cattlepen which, like Asterix, leads to many queue jumping opportunities gratefully seized upon by hoards of French. They also dont stop smoking and the staff don't have any problem with any of this, we were truly grateful this ride was pretty much it for us queuing in either park, I can imagine it descending into Asterix level torture quite rapidly on busy days. As soon as we entered the building though, it was all worth while



Mine! I've got a thing for spinners anyway, but we both LOVED this. The station and slow section of the ride are beautifully done, a mixture of animatronics and video screens blend tell the short story with care and humour leading up to a fun and decent length coaster. I've heard some people on forums give this a bad review but I don't understand that, the ride itself is superb, it's just they should have built two of them to cope with the demand. 9/10

Next door is Flying Carpets which is like Dumbo but tilting themed Aladdin style. Is what it is, 6/10

While riding that you are looking down over both Crush and Cars Rally which is a shrunken clone of those Disney figure of 8 teacups in a tiny car. Yeah it's a kids ride, but man those seats are needlessly small and uncomfortable The figure of 8 set up Disney use is good though, and they actually got a good spin on them sometimes. 6/10

Animation Academy is another direct import from USA, but they've messed this one up. It is still interesting but it doesn't work with the translations being pumped in to some headphones off of tape while the host tries to do it live in French. The hosts speakers in the room are far too loud so can be heard over the out of sync English recording and the whole thing is a headache and a mess. They should just do English an French show times, the simplest solutions are usually the best. 4/10.

The only other thing around here is the small meet and greet area consisting of two small queues to met characters with photographer. I kind of like the stumble upon meets more than this, feels a bit like a cheat to me choosing who to meet and queuing up, you should have to find them. There star was Woody btw, much longer queue than for Mickey. Poor Mickey, we gave him some company.

But even lunch wasn't something Asterix was able to provide without a huge unmanaged queue snaking across one of the main throughways in the park. It was clear they weren't expecting it to be busy (they obviously don't watch weather forecasts) as most of the little food and drink booths were closed, but again there was a lack of any attempt to to manage the queue with some barriers or serve people with any sort of speed. This is just a little booth with the total number of options being hotdog or tradition sausage with a drink but they still couldn't manage it and it took nearly half an hour to get our snack. It was decent value and tasty though.

Now I was starting to get worried I we wouldn't fit in both OzIris and Zeus before the day was out so we decided regardless of queue length to just do them, Oziris was nearest and just as we had seen at Zeus the queue was spilling out of the entrance and even out of the ride area all the way past the the pathway under the logflume. That is a long long way. As ever totally unmanaged, people cutting in all over the place and infuriating to be in, it took us about 50 mins just to get into the main queue.



After about two hours we made it to the ride itself. There is no denying the area and ride itself are stunning. Beautifully themed, especially once in the indoor queue. I didn't much care though, two hours wait is too long for me in any conditions but surrounded by the stench of the French in over 100 degree heat with no cover whatsoever I've probably never been in a worse mood getting on a ride.



Look at the huge amount of space there. Why are there not tensa barriers or something used to make some sort of queue line when it is this busy. They just make no effort with operations whatsoever.



After all that moaning I can't deny the ride itself is near perfection. Enough people have said enough good things about it without me being able to add much insight but the standout for me are the zero g rolls, which are just so perfectly executed. I've never felt anything like it, they seem to last forever in a little bubble of floatiness. The whole thing flows beautifully and is so much fun to ride, I'm not sold on the lack of pre drop but that is probably just a case of getting used to it, other than that there is not a single moment that does not feel just right. Our back row seat was almost worth the two hours wait. Almost.


After this we were desperate for a drink but guess what? Asterix didn't want to sell me one. It took ages to even find a stand open and then 20 minutes to get served, all the time fighting off people who wanted to push in front of me. We had only a couple of hours left so decided we had to do Zeus and from what we had seen of the queue earlier, that would be about it. Walking back down to the other side of the park we took a look at what we were missing out on which included a kiddie barrel coaster, a StormSurge-a-like (meh) and a decent looking log flume. Coming across the bobsled coaster 'Hourra' with only a small overspilling queue and a sign declaring '20 minutes from this point' we thought we'd be fine.



Just over an hour later when we finally got on I was properly worried about not getting to Zeus on time, again taking away from how much I could enjoy the ride itself. I have something of a soft spot for Mack bobsleds and this was the best I've been on, I loved the length and feeling of out of control speed it gives. Why aren't there more of these about?



Not knowing the queue close policy we quickly made our way to Zeus, again going passed things we wouldn't get a go on; Grand Splash, a magic carpet (meh) and a dolphin show which just started to spill out hundreds of people into a narrow pathway causing utter chaos (who the hell designed this place) to find Zeus looking exactly as it did earlier in the day but with no one telling us not to join, we did. This time there actually was someone at the entrance stopping the constant parade of queue jump attempts and as a result after 15 minutes or so we were through the legs of Zeus in the queue proper where we found every extension closed and we were on within 45 minutes. What a stupid way to run the place - build a queueline, keep it closed and let everyone line up zig zagging across a busy pathway. Utter morons.



I love wooden coasters and had been looking forward to this for a long long time. Having said that considering its age I didn't expect Zeus to be right up there with the best of the modern stuff. How wrong I was. Again heading for the back I could not believe as we crested the lift hill how huge it was, so much of it being hidden away. The first drop into the tunnel is a stunner and it does not let up until the final brake run with huge amounts of airtime and a pleasing roughness giving it some real character. I seemed to spend just as long out of my seat as in it and as it pulled into the station I had the most ridiculous grin on my face. My top ten would be very much troubled by this ride.



I could have ridden in over and over again. Except I couldn't as we emerged to find the queue line had been closed even though it was still about 10 minutes to park close. Assuming the day was over we wandered back towards the exit where we found Grand Splash was still open with very little queue, so we had a go on that too, which felt like a bit of a bonus really. Not a bad ride with some good water effects on the way round but ends with a poor and anticlimactic final drop.

And with that our day was over so it was back to the car for the short drive back to the hotel, which may have included me getting entirely lost and finding out that driving on that side of the road in the dark in small villages is less easy than in the daytime.

So what do I think of Asterix overall then? It is a very good looking park, a lot of the theming is spectacular, immersive and well maintained and it has two of the very best rides I have ever been on with Zeus and OzIris. But what is the point of all that if it is absolutely impossible to have a good time there? I know I was unlucky with the weather causing crazy busyness but when you are visiting from so far away, with all the cost and effort involved, it is a risk that is not worth taking if the park can be run that badly when too many people turn up. Most annoyingly it is very much designed and run with the queue jumper in mind, but unfortunately for helping them rather than stopping them.

I vowed at the end of the day I'd never go back, which is kind of shocking for a park that has rides entering my top ten twic, but I don't feel like I have actually been to Asterix and experienced what it has the potential to deliver, I've merely been on some of the rides there. Now I've thought about it a bit I probably will return one day but I won't ever base a trip around it. If I am passing I will consider it but if I turn up to 3km queues on the way in I will drive right by to somewhere that can be bothered to actually run their park rather than just open the doors and hope for the best.

So the next morning it was an early start to try and make the most of our single day at Asterix. Full of hotel continental breakfast (why is it acceptable to eat a pile of cakes first thing in the morning across Europe?) we set off across the French countryside with our AA route planner print out in the general direction of the park, planning to arrive around 30mins before park opening. It was a Sunday, and it was hot. Normally I wouldn't entertain a weekend park visit, especially at a place that will be a bit of a one off for me, but as Asterix helpfully only open weekends outside of main season there wasn't much choice in the matter. The first frustration of the day was finding our directions to the park were entirely wrong, leading us to the back of the place but with no actual access. Turns out the only way in is directly off of the motorway where the park has it's own exit, not from the villages it is actually local to. So a 30 minute detour resulted us arriving with everyone else, and so from a bad start it went downhill fast.

Every frog within a few hundred kilometers had clearly decided to make the most of the sunshine, the motorway ground to a halt just by the '3km to Asterix' sign, my heart sank with the realisation this was the queue to the park and not some random traffic, and we crawled in from there. The 8 Euro charge for parking is paid on the way in, which is a much better way than on the way out like we do it as it manages the pressures on the entrance gates and doesn't leave you with a bad taste at the end of the day by getting it out of the way at the start. Infact, the whole car park operation was run really quite well with a constant flow as the queue splits multiple times to individual lots. It was the only well run thing we'd find that day.

As our visit was a last minute arrangement we had not been able to book good value park tickets online, which must be purchased at least a week in advance, but we had managed to pick up a discount voucher from our hotel. Money paid and through the turnstile, but without being given or being able to find a map, we wandered through the rather nicely themed main street and it didn't seem too packed. Maybe it could handle this amount of people after all.



I had heard before arriving that they were bizarrely opening their new ride OzIris late each day as part of staggered opening and as it could be seen to be not moving at 10 minutes after opening as we drove past so we headed left instead, using the crappy little map our discount vouchers had been attached to as a rough guide. The first thing we came across was the rapids, which to our amazement was walk on (but you'd never know it as there is no live queue time signage anywhere in the park). Even though it was walk on and the occasional boat was empty we were squeezed in with randoms so every seat was full. We tried to protest the pointlessness of this but to no avail. I'm not small, nor were the randoms, so it was a painful and uncomfortable few minutes. I'm sure the ride was good enough and I know I got at least a little bit wet, but I couldn't enjoy it and have no real memory of it.

Leaving that we continued to one of the big three coasters. Before going it was OzIris, Zeus and Goudurix I had been looking forward to, in that order, so we decided to build up to the best and start with Goudurix.


Again with no indication of how long the queue might be we waited in about half of the built queue line, which amounted to about 20 minutes, and on we got. I had heard some bad things about this ride and it's roughness, but nothing could prepare me for how truly awful it is. Never again will I grumble about Saws jolt or Ritas restraints, this is in another league of horrible uncomfortable roughness. At one particular point near the start it tosses you one way to get your head moving to the left but before it stops you are violently slammed to the right creating a massive jerk in your neck which I genuinely thought had done some damage until I got off and realised I was not paralyzed. Never again will I get on Goudurix, and I think it is the only ride I've ever said that about.Tear it down.



Once we had rearranged our vertebrae into something resembling a spine we left the ride station and noticed something had quite suddenly changed for the bad. The park had already started to fail at coping with the volume of guests with the queue line for that heap of junk now spilling out of the entrance to the queue line and down the path in a totally unmanaged scrum, I'd have guessed it would have been well over an hours wait.

Coming away back towards the centre of the park we stumbled upon the entrance to something called Transdemonium. We didn't know what it was and to a large extent still don't. After a long and thankfully empty walkthrough queue is a ride of random that's too light to be a dark ride and too crap to be worthwhile. It's strange, clearly a lot of thought and effort has been put into the queue line which has some nice touches, but the ride itself is very very poor. Oh wells, three rides down, three disappointments.

Battling our way through the crowds we went towards Zeus, but we didn't get close. The queue line spilling out of the entrance a good couple of hundred meters long and 5 or 6 people wide did not look fun so we thought we'd try again later. Nearby was a spinning thing (in the background below) which was actually very good, I don't know why these sorts of rides have gone totally out of fashion at UK parks, great fillers. On the bad side the single operator working at a snails pace with a miserable face and a fifth of the rides capacity roped off made me want to start hurting people.



This was followed by a large kids coaster, apparently called Vol D'Icare, which again was enjoyable. Both of these though had queues spilling out of the entrance causing a scrum, but extensions within the queue closed. Just stupid frustrating operations made nearly intolerable by the queuing adverse French. It is also I'm sure no revelation or controversy to note a lot of French people smell bad, really bad, and being stuck in close proximity for ages in the queue was nauseating. I've got a strong stomach, I've eaten my lunch in the company of a rotting cadaver on many occasions, but some of the pong kicking up from these made me feel quite ill. I was getting weary of it all and wanted some lunch.

As most of you will know we've been searching high and low to welcome some new members to the team here at TPM and we are pleased we have finally got there!
Firstly Sheepie and Neil are no longer part of the team due to other commitments out side of the forum, we thank you both for your efforts!
Joining us on the team are Peter (Pluk) and Tommy! We had a number of great applications and trust me, it wasn't easy but we're confident we've made the right choices and hope you join us in welcoming them to the team!
Thanks
Marc

And from me, a quick thanks to the team for the opportunity to help out around here.
To all, I'm always around for a chat or PM if you need anything. I look forward to being of service....
Pete

It's sad to see some great moderators leave the team but I am hoping both me and pluk can be good additions to the team.
Similarly I'm here to help so drop me or any of the team a PM and we'll work together as a team as best we can to make the forum experience the best it can be for everyone.
Tom
Edit: Just saw my rep go up! Thanks a lot, I'm glad you've backed the decision by the team.

Personally, I'd prefer a ride to open at full capacity on time then open earlier on reduced capacity.
The period of time Swarm operated on one train, for example, was usually an hour or so in my experiences, then with the length of time you'd wait for the train to be put on, and for that train to be tested and such, it just felt a lot longer. Again, going to personal preference, I'd prefer to be in a regularly moving queue than one that opened early, only to move rather slowly.

The site has been updated again, with a little bit more back story, and a competition for kids. http://www.chessington.com/zufari/

Must admit, I'm slowly getting more and more excited for this!

Going to do one of these now as well, otherwise I'll forget.. I tend to do a Top 5 for coasters and non-coasters (simply as I haven't done that many!), and then sometimes a Top 10 rides list as to how the coasters compete with the non coasters. Having done many new things this year actually, but my views have changed a fair bit since around this time last year.
Coasters
1) The Swarm (Thorpe Park). Absolutely incredible ride. Paced perfectly, brilliant theme, great theming and landscaping, nice audio and a great back story / story in general. Very re-ridable and practically perfect in every way. (At night is just amazing too! ). 9.5/10
2) Nemesis (Alton Towers). After 5 years sitting on top of the perch, it's been kicked off. However, it is still amazing in all of the departments and ticks all the boxes. 9/10
3) Th13teen (Alton Towers). Ignoring the bad marketing of the ride (which you should), this ride is great, bar the trims. The theming is great and is growing well with age already I think. The outdoor section is fun, but the fact that the trims are painfully obvious knocks of loads of points. The inside section is pure genius in my eyes. 8/10
4) Saw - The Ride (Thorpe Park). Probably the biggest change leaper this year. My only real gripe with the ride is the audio. The ride is great, as per usual, I'll argue it's intense, not rough , and everything else works well. Though not the best themed ride ever, it's very well styled. 7.5/10
5) Nemesis Inferno (Thorpe Park). With two new additions in the coaster top 5, it was almost inevitable that this was going to drop a place or two, but it's at the bottom of my top 5 now. I enjoy it, love the audio and think it's better than people make it out to be. However, it's just that there's coaster which are better and enjoy more. 7.5/10 (NB: Whilst Saw and Inferno have the same rating, I wouldn't call them equal. In actual fact, Saw's probably more rated as 7.6-7.7, but I just like to round to the nearest half otherwise it looks a bit untidy / strange).
Honorary Mention) The Antelope (Gulliver's World). I always stick an honorary mention in; usually it's one that I have a soft spot for / just missed out. I did a dedicated blog entry to this, so I'll keep it short and sweet - not the greatest ride or layout, but I loved it when I went on it. What else is there to say?
Non-Coasters
1) Nemesis: Sub Terra (Alton Towers). Despite knowing what the ride system was, and feeling a little underwhelmed by that element on my first ride, the whole experience is great. The frantic, high speed worrying scenario it creates is amazing. The story line is brilliant, and the way the ride plays out (well, at least now, as having read reviews from when it opened, it sounded Sub-Standard) is brilliant. 8/10
2) Hex (Alton Towers). I don't think this really needs explanation. The experience as a whole is amazing, and everything works so well, and yet feels effortless. 8/10 (NB: Same rating as Sub Terra as they are equally good, but I simply prefer Sub Terra).
3) Rush (Thorpe Park). The big swing designed for big kids makes me feel like a little boy. I enjoy it so much, always gives a buzz afterwards as well. Just as long as the cycle in long enough, it's a great ride. 7/10
4) Detonator (Thorpe Park). A large enough drop tower that builds great suspense and shoves you down. If you like drop towers, how can you not like this? 7/10
5) I really can't place one here. Rides such as Kobra, Tomb Blaster (Chessie), Submission, Duel (AT) and Loggers Leap (Thorpe) all jostle for places here, along with a couple of others. Really could not put a fifth place one here.

The site has been updated again, with a little bit more back story, and a competition for kids. http://www.chessington.com/zufari/

Must admit, I'm slowly getting more and more excited for this!

Personally, I'd prefer a ride to open at full capacity on time then open earlier on reduced capacity.
The period of time Swarm operated on one train, for example, was usually an hour or so in my experiences, then with the length of time you'd wait for the train to be put on, and for that train to be tested and such, it just felt a lot longer. Again, going to personal preference, I'd prefer to be in a regularly moving queue than one that opened early, only to move rather slowly.

Personally, I'd prefer a ride to open at full capacity on time then open earlier on reduced capacity.
The period of time Swarm operated on one train, for example, was usually an hour or so in my experiences, then with the length of time you'd wait for the train to be put on, and for that train to be tested and such, it just felt a lot longer. Again, going to personal preference, I'd prefer to be in a regularly moving queue than one that opened early, only to move rather slowly.

Some new London Dungeon Concept Art taken off their Facebook!

Personally, I'd prefer a ride to open at full capacity on time then open earlier on reduced capacity.
The period of time Swarm operated on one train, for example, was usually an hour or so in my experiences, then with the length of time you'd wait for the train to be put on, and for that train to be tested and such, it just felt a lot longer. Again, going to personal preference, I'd prefer to be in a regularly moving queue than one that opened early, only to move rather slowly.

Good gravy! Has it been a year already!? Only seems yesterday we saw Alton walk the UK Awards, Katun get voted the Best International Coaster and we had our very own Mr JoshC. crowned the biggest fanboy over Marc.
SO. Without further adieu, we will commence with the crownings for the next year of glorious TPMing and Thorpe-whoring/hating. Alas, here comes the boring formality (in a bizzle) Avert ye eyes, fair innocent ones:
The Park Awards:
(text iz big enuff rite? lol xoxo)
The first round 'comprises' of the Park Awards. The park with the most votes in each category wins. Below are the 'selected' categories for 2012:
Best UK Park Best(-Looking) International Park* Best UK Coaster Best(-Looking) International Coaster* Best UK Flat Ride Best UK Water Ride Best UK Dark Ride Best New Attraction for 2012^ Best Themed UK Experience Best Themed International Experience Worst UK Ride" Most Uncomfortable Ride" Most Disappointing Merlin Moment in 2012+ Biggest Thorpe Cock-Up+ Best-Looking New Attraction for 2013 Best Manufacturer (*) These categories are still very much open to everyone but we realise that some members may not have ridden many international coasters or been to many international parks. If this is the case for you, feel free to vote for a park you would love to visit or a coaster you would love to ride, even if you haven't been to/ridden them. (^) This attraction will have to have opened at an established park (I.e. not a travelling fair, LUKE AYERS) for the start of the 2012 theme park season. It does not have to be UK-exclusive; any new addition for the 2012 season in any country can be nominated.
(") These nominees can be pretty much any attraction you might find a queue for in a theme park (insert joke about Air's queue), in the respective countries of the category titles.
(+) These categories are open. Basically that means you can vote for pretty much anything that has pissed you off about Merlin and/or Thorpe. Merlin and Thorpe do make mistakes. Vote for one that has particularly grated your cheese this year. You could also vote for something Thorpe have done for the Merlin Moment category, if you feel it wasn't simply a decision by Thorpe themselves (I.e. Crash Pad).
Okay, so with that out of the way, look on to see the Forum Awards! These are often a lot more fun, generally because you get to vote for people you want be banned/secretly want to bang and NO-ONE CAN STOP YOU. But don't feel you have to vote for every category is you don't want to.
The Forum Awards:
OKAY. So here are the categories for this year. I'm liking it better than last year already:
Best Member* Best Administrator Best Moderator Most Knowledgeable Member Campest Member Funniest Male Funniest Female Biggest Fanboy Biggest Fangirl Sexiest Male Sexiest Female Best New Member^ Best Quality Posts Most Sarcastic Member Best TPM Meet" Storm Surge Award+ Most Likely To Be Banned In 2013 (*) I am aware that TPM will be recruiting two new Moderators within the next week. These members, regardless of whether their applications to become moderators are successful or not, should be voted for in this category, as quite frankly I'm afraid of the competition it's only fair that way; they'd only have been a mod for three week or less and they'll have had much more time as a Member. Likewise, any member who is currently a moderator but isn't by the time to results are announced should be voted for in their current category, I.e. Best Moderator. (^) This nominee needs to have signed up after January 1st, 2012. Obviously, but you'd be surprised how many people forgot this last year...
(") Sadly the Guildford trip won't count here, as it's not happened yet. Seems logic. However this category includes all official meets that were advertised on the site. If you need a refresher here they are: Maxy's Premier Screaming Weekend; THE SWARM ERT Meet; Open Day Meet; Colossus Birthday ERT + Exclusives Tour; or Fright Nights + Experiment 10 Exclusives Tour.
(+) This one is simple. Vote for the member who you think reminds you of Storm Surge or should be awarded a Storm Surge for their efforts in constantly dripping water all over on strangers TPM/in life.
So there we have it, all you buttery nipples. These are the categories for this year's TPM Awards. Feel free to vote for as many or as few of the awards as you like, here are the rules and regulations about voting:
Important:
Should you wish to vote, copy and paste the above lists and clearly denote which park/member etc. you nominate for each category. Once I have your votes, I will PM you confirmation of receiving them. If there is a problem in understanding your votes, I'll PM you back saying so. You can then sort any problems and re-send them back to me, with any other changes in votes you wish to make. Please make sure your votes are final, as once they are received and there is no issue with them, I will only allow you to change your votes once. If you decide to change your votes then you must PM me saying so, along with your new votes for the categories you wish to change. Once your votes have been change, I will send you another confirmation PM. You will not be allowed to change your votes after this point because I'm only human and it's hard to keep track o' y'all. You do not need to vote for every category. Should you wish to withdraw yourself from voting in a certain category, simply leave it blank and don't be confusing. This topic will close at 20:00 (8pm) on December 18, 2012. This gives you 30 days to vote, which is more than last time because I'm feeling generous. Any votes received after this time on December 18, 2012 will not be counted, so be speedy, ite?! The details set out at the bottom of each category list is final. All your votes must adhere to these rules, you silly sausages. The categories listed above are not for further negotiation. Dun dun dun. Further Information:All votes will be kept confidential. You are not allowed to vote for yourself in any of the Forum Awards categories. Each vote will count for one point for each nominee for each category and ill be 'totted up' 'cumulatively'. 3... 2... 1... OKAY GO. Send your PMs at your will to me and remember - have fun y'all! Here's a picture of a lamb to get you started:

With the 2012 season over and new coaster opportunities over for another year I guess it is time to try and decide how this years new experiences change things. Things also shuffle about with the passage of time, as memories fade of rides experienced on single distant visits those I am more familiar with rise to the top...
COASTERS
1 - Nemesis (AT) - Pretty much perfect in every way. By far (until OzIris happened) the best B+M invert I've ridden.
2 - Zeus (Asterix) - Huge amounts of airtime and a pleasing roughness giving it some real character.
3 - OzIris (Asterix) - Lives up to the initial reviews, immaculately themed, beautifully paced and just keeps giving.
4 - Goliath (6flags MM) - Because greying out is always fun. Immense.
5 - Ghost Rider (KBF) - Wood, long, fast. Some people moan about it's roughness but that's how I like it.
6 - Salvation (6flags MM) - This is the smooth fast style of Woodie AT should be looking at. And fire effects on a WOODEN coaster? Yes please!
7 - The Swarm (Thorpe) - After an underwhelming first ride it has grown on me no end. The first drop, station fly over, theming and interaction make it. Still think it is a little short and dies at the end though.
8 - Air (AT) - It's a great design for a flying coaster, just the right intensity. Might not be as big and impressive as Tatsu, but rides a whole lot better.
9 - X2 (6flags MM) - In may ways quite a horrible painful ride, but it is so unique and does have its moments of brilliance.
10 - Stealth (Thorpe) - Probably because I haven't ridden TTD.
The drop-outs:
Oblivion (AT) - Unthinkable it wouldn't be up there quite recently. It is still pretty amazing but the state of the poor old thing is starting to actually detract from the experience, hopefully SW7 will include a solid spruce up. Again, it's just the right design for a dive machine and the original pre ride build up really ramped up the fear. SheiKra might do a lot else, but it doesn't do the dive as well so what's the point?
Dragon Fury - (Chessington) I do love spinning coasters and this is the best example imo. Not ridden this year, think it might creep back in in future.
Steeplechase - (BPB) Could no longer justify having such a novelty coaster up there. Probably one of the least forceful coasters in the world. But I love it, so much fun. Extra points for being a massive F U to health and safety - don't wanna die? Best hold on then!
The nearly made its:
Big Thunder Mountain (DLRP) Sooooo much fun.
Crushes Coaster (DLRP) Outside of throughput problems deserves none of the hate thrown at it. Solid coaster with fun Disney standard dark ride start.
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Non coasters
1 - The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman (IOA) - It really is amazing. I rode it again and again, sometimes with the glasses on, sometimes off, trying to work out how it all works. However they've done it the overall result is sensational, completely immersing you in another world.
2 - Mickeys Philarmagic (DMK) - Just enchanting. It is 10minute slice of pure Disney; funny, sickly sweet and perfect in every way.
3 - Tower Of Terror (DLRP) - A change from the USA to France, this sequence I thought was superb. Totally immersive experience leads up to an incredibly fun ride. The corridor disappearing into the night sky is another effect that makes my head hurt with it's brilliance.
4 - Hex - (AT) - A superbly executed, deeply themed walk through leading to a great effect in the madhouse. Now I know what's coming I love watching the reactions of those who don't. Sets the standard for UK theming.
5 - Bilge Rat Barges (IOA) - The best water ride I've ridden. So wild, makes all other rapids rides feel tame.
6 - Mission Space (Epcot) - Such a clever trick, the effect is amazing
7 - Nemesis Sub Terra (AT) - The thought of this being on here after my first pathetic experience was laughable, but they really have turned it around.
8 - Cinemagique (DLRP) - Not much more than a film showing, but what a film and massively enhanced by the few real life effects.
9 - Hearts and Diamonds (aka round-up) - (Various travelling fairs) You can spend all you like on a big shiny s+s prototype, but the ultimate 'flat' thrill is still this very simple, seatbelt-less, incredibly intense ride. Huge throughput for a flat, too. Why don't they turn up in modern theme parks?
10 - The Snails - (Joyland, Grt Yarmouth) - A really personal choice, one of my earliest memories. Having ridden it again as an adult it is still a fun ride with character that can only come with age. (decided it is actually a coaster, still love it just as much)
The drop outs:
Simple because they don't exist any more, other than as husks of their former selves. Current rides only is my new rule.
Bubbleworks - (CWOA) - The original, no ducks allowed. The main ride was pure childish fun with a bit of soul, the finale was a truly awesome effect to a child. Bring on the strobes.
5th Dimension (CWOA) - Getting shrunk and attacked by Arctic alien with laser type things, an 8 year olds dream. The smell of dry ice puts me right back in front of zapomatic even now. What I would give to be able to ride it today.

Most guests to theme parks do seem to leave their brain at the door... It's kinda this whole take advantage of the belief of how Fastrack will affect the day thing...
We know Thorpe aren't the only guilty party with it, but Thorpe mess up their Fastrack selling on a much more regular basis than the rest... The overselling is a constant problem on standard weekends as well as the peak (summer, easter, halloween) days... And when it's done on weekdays it just shows a complete lack of actual sense or desire to give the customers a sense of satisfaction and a good day...
And look what happened last time Thorpe plonked in a ride because of another silly view that you MUST have a new ride every year... If our parks here actually invested money into the infrastructure and tarting the park up and producing so much more than just the rides, there would be SUCH a big difference to the casual GP market... The parks need to consider methods of producing a good day out environment, rides do not mean everything at a theme park... You only have to look at the successful parks in the world in Europe AND America for this plain factor... Six Flags focused on rides a few years back, that clearly worked...
And saying that they could've made Swarm longer? NO, NO, NO... Considering the fact that before Swarm that area was water, the cost would SOAR so much just for the groundwork alone... What they did is fine enough, Swarm is an excellent ride (if only lacking a truly exceptional finale), there is no point comparing it to any American version, because ALL their rides are technically bigger, longer, faster, taller, etc than any of our rides... Shame that those factors do not automatically make a good ride... Indeed, compare Nemesis to most American Inverts, and it dominates them...
The only thing I would've changed with Swarm was to sort out the finale... Kinda where it loses a point to Raptor really... But for Thorpe to do something like Swarm shows a very different approach to things... Why would no theme and the ride being longer be any good? The theme is what makes the ride... Would hate for Thorpe to have continued a trend of the mid 2000s of building rides with little (Stealth) or no (Samurai, Rush, Slammer) theme...
Tl;dr - Fastrack overselling is a burden at all the parks but Thorpe is the worst... Getting a new ride for the sake of getting a new ride when there are clear infrastructure issues (painting, lack of budgets) isn't the best way to run a theme park if you want people to return... And Swarm couldn't have been made longer without excessive extra cost, and the theme is the best on park now...

Part 2 - Pirate Kingdom and Little Africa
Pirate Kingdom hasn't changed much in the seven or eight years since I last visited.
We did the pirate ship several times before grabbing some lunch in the pizza restaurant.


The food was delicious, although pretty overpriced for what you actually get. I don’t like to nit-pick, but I feel the staff in this restaurant could learn one or two manners.
There used to be a live pirate show here once, but it looks like that’s long gone. Oh well.

Barrel Run was extreme but very enjoyable. Word of warning though, don't even think about going on this straight after your lunch

The gift shop

It was about 12.30 by now, and the park was extremely busy (this has been a record season for visitors apparently). After some discussion, it was decided that we’d do Little Africa and the rapids next. How convenient that the sun decided to come out at that moment

The Brinston Express. Unfortunately we didn't have time to do this little train ride today.

Are we actually going the right way? Oh wait, we are...

Snacks, anyone?

This little water feature was nice. You can see Temple Falls in the background

Little Africa
I love this little rope effect bridge over the rapids

The queue for Temple Falls was over 75 minutes, so we did the Zambezi Adventure instead. I don’t remember Zambezi Adventure being this good on my last visit. We got absolutely soaked, too.


The Mine Train. Unfortunately the water messed up my camera lens, but it's OK now.

By now the queue for Temple Falls was much shorter. John and I loved this ride, although Sarah wasn't too keen. The ride op was really friendly and treated everyone to a special cycle.
We had a look round the African gift shop and then made our way over to the Mine Train, which was saw horrendous queues for much of the afternoon. Mine Train certainly wasn't worth the two hour wait. I found this very rough, and John had to take a break due to headaches afterwards. Awful ride – hopefully it won’t see many more seasons at the park.

The themed queueline is the only redeeming feature of this ride

It was coming up to 5.00pm by now, so we took a break in the Rainforest Café. The Brinston Beast looms menacingly in the distance.


Part 3 coming up

Err, amazingly everyone would have the same view here. The only one's who don't are people who work at the park (this topic is obvious who does), and people who protect the park because they are used to the status quo. If you asked a guest if they would like to visit a park, have no queues because the rides on two trains on offpeak days.. or visit and have 40min queues because the rides on one train and they're selling fastrack for it.. We all know, ALL know, what the answer will be.
Ultimately, thorpe has this awful status quo and attitude towards its guests. This is something which should, and needs, to be challenged. Otherwise nothing happens.
For the "long hours" thing. Towers engineers work 6am - 1030pm on the split shift. They managed to have Nemesis on two trains every single day this season (albeit about 3 days of it coming out by 11am due to maintenance). That's one example - coasters are always available for full service, only one's which run on less is when they have dual stations (Air and Oblivion) which can increase and do so. There is no excuse. None.

I don't quite understand you reasoning in defending the park so relentlessly Tinie.
All that you've said as to why this happens is not something that is necessary if the park is run properly, rather than a reasonable excuse you are merely describing the result of poor management. If they are carrying out scheduled maintenance during park opening hours then they are not planning things as they should and maintenance are working the wrong hours. Things will break causing downtime and within reason that is fair enough and is going to happen. But to plan to take things out of action at a place with such short daily hours and season as a whole must be wrong.
They can't get the trains up in time? It's not because of the checks that need completing, it's because they are not starting those checks early enough. They think the wheels will de-laminate? They have clearly left it too long since the last change. The staff are incapable of adding or removing trains in a reasonable time? They need better training or the procedure needs improving. etc etc
The best customer service would be for everything to open at capacity on time each morning and only reduce if it becomes apparent it is not needed later on. That should be the aim and would allow a bit of a margin of error when the checks do reveal a problem to get it fixed up.
Making excuses doesn't deal with the problems, it just makes them worse.

As a big X:\ fan I must say have my fingers crossed that the ride will receive a lot of attention over this closed season. However over the years I have started to grow accustomed to being slightly disappointed every time the rumoured 're-themes' have not lived up to our expectations. Who knows though, perhaps this time the park will surprise us!
Whilst I understand that a large amount of enthusiasts, fan boys and members of the public think that X:\ is a waste of space and should just be replaced by another ride, I believe the ride should be given a fair chance to gain new fans by having a nice amount of money and care spent on it.
Back when the ride opened in 1996 it was the biggest ride RMC had ever added and although it was not received very well amongst the coaster enthusiast community it was popular with park guests. In my opinion the various changes to the queue line, the ride itself and a general lack of care and attention have harmed the ride experience over the years. Nowadays there may be a huge collection of newer thrilling roller coasters at the park, which make X:\ look quite tame in comparison, but I feel the park should proudly embrace their oldest non-powered coaster.
My wish list of improvements (if the 2013 rumour is true) are as follows:
1. A good deep clean and re-painting of the entire queue line, the nearer you get to the station the more disgusting the walls and floors seem to get. Whether it is piles of trash or large phallic etchings on the walls, these are reasonably small touches that would help improve the queue line for the new season, at least until the undesirable guests start to wreck it again.
2. If they are going to spend some money on the ride I would like the park to decide on a clear theme and stick to it. If the ride is destined to become a club themed "rave ride", I have no problem with that, I would just like to see it being a consistent theme from the entrance to the pyramid to the exit!
3. Please re-build/replace the train cars, at the end of this season they were looking worse than ever. As well as looking extremely dirty, I agree with another poster that the seats themselves seem to be deteriorating.
4. Whilst I would like to see the trains improved personally I would love to see the ride continue running backwards. I know that reversing the seating would probably help improve the downtime, but I feel that it would be striping X:\ of any originality. It would be a great shame to see the back of this unique ride gimmick, the 'backwards in the dark' sections of Revenge of the Mummy and TH13TEEN are some of the highlights of those rides for me but they are far too short in duration.
So in conclusion whilst I am hoping that the rumours are true and that we will all get to see a different incarnation of X:\ when the park opens in March, I am also a little apprehensive. My message to the park is that if you are going to make chances to this ride, please do it properly this time!

The thing with shipping containers is that at least Merlin try with them, and usually do well. Saw's one is the only one which just feels 'plonked' there. Swarm's is well styled, and I hardly notice Th13teen's one except when using the shop. It works well with Experiment 10 and when they did the Twilight Zone for Vampire's 21st at Chessie. Can't think of many more times when Merlin have used them either.
Works well, cheap and convenient. Can't see many issues with them. Hopefully The Crash Pad will have a nice enough style to them as well.

Best film ever btw. 1980's ftw.

Bringing this topic back to Fastrack related things a bit more...
After a bit more Mathsy working out which can be found on my blog (waits for a 'You have too much free time on your hands' comment ), the way Thorpe operate their Fastrack system means that the time spent waiting in the main queue increases by 50% when Fastrack is in use. So, a 90 minute queue ends up being a 2 hour 15 minute queue (in the case of Swarm in particular).
Personally, I think the system they've got could do with improving. Then again, Fastrack in general can probably do with improving, so that's no surprise really. It does indeed go to show that no matter what, Fastrack negatively effects the guests in the main queue by quite a bit. Say the queue for four rides which have Fastrack on is 60 minutes, then the total increase in queueing time is 2 hours. It all adds up, and this shows just HOW BAD it really can be for someone not willing - or able - to pay.

LOLOLOLOLOL THAT IS SO FUNNY LOLOLOLOLOLOL...... no. These jokes are getting reeaally old now.