JoshC. Posted August 13, 2014 Report Share Posted August 13, 2014 I don't have any jokes unfortunately. I guess you could say I'm a pun wit wonder. J.S217, Cornflakes and JamminGamer 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 You know how you get shops like 'Toys R Us'? Well there's one near me that sells right-angled triangles - 'Pythag R Us'! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pluk Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Couple of good one liners... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-28838287 this years winner... "I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust" - Tim Vine. Kerfuffle and paige 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 Talking of which, I can't help laughing whenever I watch this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 What is invisible and smells like worms? Bird farts! What is brown and sticky? A stick! What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park, man! What did the frog order at McDonald's? French Flies! Sorry for ruining your day with my corny jokes. Kerfuffle and JamminGamer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Last month, I was walking down the street, six hundred feet above sea level (it was a high street ), and some bloke came out of nowhere and hit me with a crowbar, knocking me out. While I was unconscious, I dreamt I was on an errand for Dracula. I was out for the count! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paige Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 You could say the invention of the shovel was a groundbreaking discovery. Ba dum tiss. I'll see myself out. Kerfuffle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshC. Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 You could say the invention of the shovel was a groundbreaking discovery. Ba dum tiss. I'll see myself out. Unlike the cold air balloon, the idea really took off! Kerfuffle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Unlike the cold air balloon, the idea really took off! But even that was better than darts covered in superglue - you just can't let that idea go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted September 6, 2014 Report Share Posted September 6, 2014 Did you know you can't get a job on an aeroplane if your name is Jack, because you walk into the cockpit, the co-pilot says "Hi Jack" and everyone starts screaming! You also can't get a job on an aeroplane if your name is Iva Handgrenade! I was actually playing football on an aeroplane the other day! It was amazing, I was running up the wing... It's strange these days, because you stand in the middle of a library and go "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" and everyone stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 Be prepared for cheesiness: What do you call a giggling, 10 looping rollercoaster at Thorpe Park? Cololossus! ha.ha.ha. Kerfuffle and JoshC. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 I was reading the paper this morning, and I see the thief stealing t shirts in order of size is still at large! J.S217 and pluk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 Be prepared for cheesiness: What do you call a giggling, 10 looping rollercoaster at Thorpe Park? Cololossus! ha.ha.ha. Clearly wasn't around in the days everyone was calling it Lolossus JoshC. and Kerfuffle 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 Every week, I do a theory on 'how to keep up with technology'! Those who want to hear it, I will be selling cassettes later... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted October 11, 2014 Report Share Posted October 11, 2014 Fright nights joke guys.... What begins with 'b' and ends in 'itch'? Blair Witch. I'll see myself out. Kerfuffle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted October 13, 2014 Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Football jokes, guys! This bloke said to me "Can you state your availability to run a Sheffield football team?". I said "I can't manage Wednesday!". I was watching Match of the Day, and Alan Hansen said "Wayne Rooney is second to none"...so why don't England start playing this nun if she's that good?! I went to a football match and one of the teams came on in a dance - it was Charleston Athletic! I went to a football match in Japan and at the end they started doing martial arts! I said to this bloke "What's going on?". He said "It's two minutes of ninjary time!" I went to the bar afterwards, and a football agent gave me an envelope full of manure. I said "No. Bung! BUNG!" ...and then a referee walked in and I thought "It's all gonna kick off now!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Has there ever been a thread on the topic of a brain attached to a fishing rod? Go on - cast your mind back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2014 Report Share Posted November 18, 2014 How did the man describe that he had seen Saw: The Ride before it was build Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammydodger Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 I was up all night last night wondering when the sun would come..... And then it dawned on me....(hi five?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.S217 Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!""Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel.""You tightwad!" blurts the spectator."Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill.""You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout.The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?""I've lived next to that lying b*****d for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerfuffle Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 This bloke threw some pastry at me and I threw an apple at him and they collided in the centre of the room and created the perfect strudel. I love it when a flan comes together! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammydodger Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 2 antennae got married. The service wasn't great but the reception was excellent! pluk and Mer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitchada04 Posted December 8, 2014 Report Share Posted December 8, 2014 A recent study showed that lizards who have sex at a young age die younger. Scientists therefore know that all old lizards have reptile dysfunction. Mer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.S217 Posted December 8, 2014 Report Share Posted December 8, 2014 -.- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2014 Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 I saw the ride Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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