My thoughts from last night's mEDiA pRESs NigHT at the Island Like No Other as follows...
Top 5 Celebs I spotted.
1. TheJackSilkstone - was behind him in the free buffet queue so I now know how to create the SICKEST of SICK combos of buffet food. ?
2. The Scottish Man What Won Strictly Last Year
3. Err....
Right onto the important stuff - at approx 9pm the bar bill on just one of the tills in Fins was over £2k already. Oh no wait, I jest, now onto the important stuff...
Mazes Ranked from Best to Really Really Really Awful:
1. BLAIR WITCH
If you told me I was going to find this the best maze of the night before visiting, I would have said pickle me sideways and call be Shawn Sanbrooke but alas here we are! We had 3 run throughs on this, two of which where we were in just a pair and I have to say, the first in particularly, was ruddy brilliant. The scene is set very well at the start, love ending up "back where you started", some excellent jump scares, was proper dark and you really did feel you were going through the woods - Thorpe have played a blinder with the scenery in the dark, not so sure how it would work at 3pm! One run we had in a group of 8 (C'mon guys it's press night m8) wasn't as good so maybe come proper FN's with large groups this won't rank highly among da fans - but yes, for us it was our standout. One thing I will say - the Heras temporary fencing (Thorpe love the stuff) at the very start should have black plastic or a thicker tarpaulin on it because yellow (?!) doesn't exactly set the scene, nor does it manage to hide the platform of P15 to the left, so you can see the tour guide waiting for guests. I can also forsee the queue of Blair Witch going far far beyond the area they have set aside, it's tiny.
2. CONTAINMENT
Cracking run on this in it's tweaked format. We were useless. The actors were most definitely not - the blonde girl doing the doctor intro at the start was fantastic, delivered so many lines as if she knew them like the back of her hand and performed it like she meant it. No actors in first room obvs, but the second room with the clocks - man, the actor in there was losing his sh**, amazing stuff, trashing the filing cabinet, getting up in our faces, muttering about time, freaking out - awesome. Similarly, the dentist room next was equally as hectic and delivered with passion, I was made to sit on the chair and the actor performed the creepy dentist role perfectly - also love how the assistant in the back ground does nothing and just looks creepy - until you get into room 4 where it all kicks off! Again we were thoroughly impressed with this attraction and the actors involved last night should be commended if they end up reading this, they knocked it out of the park.
3. THE WALKING DEAD: LIVING NIGHTMARE
We got a Neagen, and Neagen had a proper mic! Impressed with this, as anticipated - top notch theming inside, and I love the intro (even if the families don't like the swears). New little twist halfway through at the car scene which worked well. As I say, love the theming on this, the bus is absolute quality and the rooms prior to that were packed with actors - good scares, breathing on your neck etc. Top tip: don't point out to the girl freaking out on her bed that her bottle of Smart Water is on her bedside table as she'll gesture to you to move away
4. MATT CREEK'S HAUNTED WOODED AREA
This isn't actually a scare zone but a legit maze... we had low expectations but again there were some decent scares and everyone loves a chainsaw right? Again, a good intro and set piece (via some temporary fencing and you end up doubling back on yourself) which sets the scene well, a decent amount of actors scattered about. I liked it - some actors followed us out too (as they must have been going on their break!) but continued to scare us outside of the maze which was cool. Good interaction, and good to see the actors progressively more "contaminated" as it goes on. A solid effort if you ask me and we enjoyed.
5. SAW ALIVE
Not much really to say about this - nothing has changed, it was OK... seemed to be over very quickly and there weren't too many actors vs. other mazes but it's SAW and it's well themed.
6. SANCTUM DO OR DIE THE WALKING DEAD
If you look very carefully at this you can tell they've used the shipping containers from Sanctum in it's construction...
We were underwhelmed by this, considerably. Expected good things - again, a good start with the bus and set piece with two actors arguing but after that it deteriorated pretty quickly. The area is too well lit (considering it was 8pm!) so you can see exactly where the actors are... just didn't do it for us at all and it all feels very temporary in it's construction (I appreciate it is temporary but you know) - this wouldn't be so noticeable if the lighting wasn't so bright. Perhaps we got unlucky with our run but for us it ranked about the same as Sanctum last year.
7. PLATFORM 15
Right, whoever's vanity project Platform 15 is at Thorpe Park - please, please, please admit defeat and get rid of it. I cannot comprehend any Youchoober or vlogstar or fan site raving about this. The walk at the start goes on for too long and does nothing in particular, walking alongside a rotting Loggers Leap, still lit up like a Christmas tree. You see the train with some dummies on it, you might get a bit of fire, you find a bride wandering about, then there's a house that smells of human faeces (which to be fair, had like 4 actors in which was random), then there's the never ending tunnel where not much happens and you get told to go back, and then you have to do a seance (and to put some positive spin on it - the actress here was good and felt like she was holding onto my hand for dear life) and then the conductor appears and then you're out, and you wonder - what the hell was all that about? And the answer is, no one actually knows. Maybe if they filled some areas with some smoke machines (although that's an expense) there'd be more atmosphere, but the walk is just too big and any pace or anticipation just goes and then you think "oh look, there's some actors coming up" and there they are. Kudos to the actors involved like I say because they were good, but the maze just doesn't work and we found it more of a chore to complete than a thrill. Sorry guys but I think Platform 15 needs a new timetable in 2019 where it gets taken over by Southern and then just never turns up.
8. VULCAN PEAK
Well. Wow. This has to be quite possibly one of the most hastily and cheaply thrown together embarrassments of an attraction at Thorpe Park I've ever seen. Heck, it wasn't even supposed to open last night because it was still being finished, showing as "opening 5th October". The only plus point I can draw from this "attraction" is that they created an introduction video to watch, but make no mistake other than this, this maze is total utter garbage. I find hooded mazes pointless anyway, the original Hellements at Tulleys was poor, but they at least improved it last year by adding a live action section at the end. We must have literally had 1 actor in Vulcan Peak last night, and it was basically 5 minutes of walking round in the dark with a bag on your head. You then have to take off the bag, before walking through the inflatable walled section, and then you're out. Because that makes a lot of sense. Also - and this is possibly a small thing but it's all about the details - why on earth are there blue LED string lights in the bit where you take off your hood? Do they mean anything? Who decided to put them there? Who at Merlin signed that off? It looked like something from Maplins (RIP) and served no purpose - why not have a flickering light or something SpOoKy. Why not green so it's vaguely "jungle" themed? Anything, but that. That detail just typified the maze for me: cheap, tacky and pointless and I defy anyone to find it anything otherwise. This just screamed to me, Merlin wanted quantity over quality this year. I take pity on anyone should this get big queues and people decide to pay for a Fastrack one shot not knowing the horror that awaits.
I can't comment on Fanta Horror Thing as it was still being finished (though did look quite impressive), nor Screamplexx. Spotted the Big Top show happening in the dome but didn't bother watching. Terror at Amity High - I assume this just means the roaming actors? I think? Anyway, they were out in force on the entrance bridge and were good! Massive shout out to the awesome clowns and associated freaks too, they are fantastic walking around and then starting their menacing clap before terrorising someone - genuinely top stuff there, was impressed and added to the night. More of this please!
Had two rides on Stealth on the dark including one front row (swoon), a nice night ride on the smooth Swarm, a not so smooth ride on Sore The Ride, and my first ever ride on X Version 2.0. Which, to be fair to Thorpe really isn't that bad at all considering what they had to work with in terms of converting a family coaster. However, as expected, whoever signed off the article stating "15 out of 10 on the scare scale" really really needs to consider their life choices ? Total utter hyperbole as I expected but like I say - in terms of slapping on an IP on to X, they've done a pretty good job - I like the nod to X on the trains (at first I thought they'd just left the old logos on, ha!) No actor in the after ride bit though which was a shame.
One thing I touched on earlier - being able to see P15 from Blair Witch etc. - those 3 mazes in Old Town are seriously seriously close together, and I wouldn't like to be queuing round there once FN's get in full swing and there's fast tracks and RAPs and what not going on because there is going to be SO many people in such a small place, it isn't going to be pretty. The Blair Witch queue as I say is tiny, assume they can extend out but yes, the quantity of mazes angle they are going for, when you have a finite amount of space like Thorpe has, could make peak times pretty horrific.
Congratulations if you read all that. Bit of a mixed bag as you can see. Be intrigued as to how I find it when the general public (shudder) are allowed in when in visit on the 11th and 13th! ?
Oh one thing I forgot to say - Thorpe definitely got a great bulk deal on human waste smell pods this year, bleugh! Could smell 'em in 4 different locations.