CharlieN

Stuttgart Sojourn
 
The 2016 Theme Park season is upon us, and what better way to kick off than a weekend hop over to visit our deutsche Freunde in Baden Württemberg. The reason for the trip was to explore two of the more regional, and less-well-travelled parks, in Germany: Tripsdrill and Holiday Park.
 
Planning was a cinch, involving a Eurowings flight out to Stuttgart (£50) and overnight stay at the Wyndham hotel on airport (£30) on the Friday evening, 2-day car hire from Avis (£30) picked up on the Saturday morning, entry to Tripsdrill on the Saturday (£17), overnight stay in the Tripsdrill Schäferwagen on the Saturday evening (£40), entry to Holiday Park on the Sunday (£24), petrol for the weekend (£8.50), and BA flights home on Avios (£17.50); all prices per person, based on 2 travelling. At £217 each, it's great value - and I'd encourage anyone thinking about planning a similar European trip to jump straight in - there's a huge variety of Theme Parks on the continent, not all that far from us, at relatively accessible prices.
 

 
As you can see, both Tripsdrill and Holiday Park are easily driven to from Stuttgart airport, although flying into Frankfurt could also work. And for a three day trip, Europa Park is also just under 100 miles away...
 
First up, on the Saturday, was Tripsdrill; a Park marketed as "featuring over 100 original attractions depicting Swabian life in the late 1800s... remarkable attention to detail, dedication to authenticity and respect for nature truly set Tripsdrill apart". And I'm happy to report that there's no marketing hooey here: the above sums up Tripsdrill really rather well.
 
Tripsdrill
 

 
This here is a Swabian man - let's call him Günther - from the late 1800s. Goodness knows what he is doing, or what he has on his back, but Tripsdrill is stuffed full of animatronics such as Günther - the Park really is a mecca for rural German history, if that's the sort of thing you're into. There are whole areas of the Park filled with both static tableaux and moving scenes, and you can easily spend an hour wandering around the place exploring all the exhibits.
 
This, along with its gorgeous rural location (in a valley, surrounded by vast rolling fields), gives Tripsdrill a very "homely" feel: it would come as no surprise to anybody that it remains family owned (the Fischers have run Tripsdrill since 1929; it's easily Germany's oldest Theme Park). It's clearly important to the owners that the Park integrates as much with nature as possible; wood is used for most buildings, and there are trees and flowers everywhere. And being family owned, there is a more "relaxed" approach to H&S (although I never once felt unsafe), operations were excellent, and there wasn't a queue-jumping scheme to be seen.
 

 
First up for us was the 2013 Gerstlauer Infinity Coaster, Karacho (no literal translation, other than "a lot of power"). The Park's newest and most intense ride, Karacho still manages to nestle in very comfortably with its countryside surroundings. The ride features Infinity trains with similar assemblies to Alton's The Smiler, but with only 2 rows rather than 4, and lap bars instead of OTSRs.
 
Themeing on the ride, as with all of Tripsdrill, is excellent, with scenes around the queueline telling a story about a madcap inventor designing his perfect roller coaster, surrounded by plans, prototypes and the like. Karacho is the result of his work, but as riders disembark, they are treated to one final animatronic of the inventor throwing up (water) into an oil drum. Not so perfect for him, then.
 
The ride itself involves a 180 degree turn out of the station into darkness, a "surprise" indoors heartline roll in the same vein as The Smiler, a peppy 55mph LSM launch out into the light, and an outside layout that involves a 98ft top hat, 2 dive loops and a corkscrew.
Operations were excellent, with fast, regular dispatching of trains - the operator would give each lap bar one push down and one pull up, and that was it; away we went. Top marks.
 

 
I was expecting Karacho to be a solid Gerstlauer installation, in the same vein as Lynet at Fårup, or Anubis at Plopsa. Solid launch, decent layout, OK trains. So I was really surprised to find that Karacho was actually bloody fantastic.
 
The trains are a large reason as to why - the Gerstlauer clamshell lap bar is a triumph; allowing maximum freedom whilst not exerting too much pressure on any one part of your thighs (I'm looking at you, solid Intamin bar of doom; see my Italy TR for more musings on this). For me, Karacho's are the closest coaster seats in terms of comfort to those found on Mack's megacoaster product - high praise indeed.
 
This elevates an enjoyable experience to a brilliant one, as the rider has complete freedom to be thrown about the remarkably well-tracked layout - which, in contrast to certain other rides, features absolutely no jolting or shuddering whatsoever. It's super smooth, and super fun.
 

 
By far the highlight of the ride is the 2nd dive loop, shown below. Not only does the ride tunnel underground, but the transition from the banked curve (seen at the back) and the dive loop (at the front) is very tight, meaning that riders get sharply "pulled around" into the dive (in a similar way to blue fire's final inline twist). It's an example of where OTSRs would have caused all sorts of painful head bashing, but with clamshell restraints, the ride remains intense but comfortable.
 

 
A final nod to the ride's lighting package. The well-themed trains look even better when they connect to the power supply in the station, as the two rear "engines" start to glow a vibrant red. It's a simple LED effect but really showcases Tripsdrill's attention to detail, fostering a nice anticipatory atmosphere in the dimly-lit station.
 
Overall, Karacho came very close for me to being the perfect mid-sized coaster. Although it probably wouldn't trouble my top 10, it would get fairly close - and it's by far the best Gerstlauer I've ever ridden. It actually prompted me to consider a trip to Finland to ride its brightly-coloured brother at PowerLand, and seems to me to be the perfect investment for parks with mid-sized budgets; I can imagine Blackpool and Drayton would be good candidates in the UK for this sort of ride.
 
And finally - why, oh why, could Merlin not have opted for lap bars on Smiler's Infinity trains...?!
 

 
Next up was 2008's Mammut ("Mammoth"), a pre-fab wooden coaster from Holzbau Cordes (similar to Intamin's pre-fab efforts with Balder and Colossos), themed around German saw mills. Cue more tableaux in the queue line of workers, saws, wood, etc... you get the idea. Strangely, no mammoths to be seen. And again, Gerstlauer were involved - this time producing the trains.
 
It's an imposing ride for a smaller park like Tripsdrill (98-foot tall, 2,822ft long), and I had to set my camera to "panorama mode" to fit it all in...
 

 
We were lucky enough to get 4 back-to-back rides in the morning (it turns out the Park doesn't get so busy during dreary Saturdays in April...!), and I'm happy to report Mammut is a good 'un.
 
An entertaining pre-show before the lift hill (with a "saw mill goes wrong" theme), a killer first drop (especially in the back row), and a varied layout including a tunnel, all add up to a solid ride. Operations were good, albeit one train only.
 
It isn't hugely intense - although I suspect that's not the market Tripsdrill's after - and there is a little bit of roughness during some parts of the ride - although there's a good argument that this is part and parcel of a wooden coaster - but these are minor quibbles of an otherwise decent coaster.
 

 
You also get the advantage of some superb views of the rolling green countryside as you ascend the lift hill.
 
It's no Wodan or Troy, but just look at the curve on that drop. Phwoar.
 

 
Moving on, and this is G'sengte Sau - the Park's first "big" coaster, from - you guessed it - Gerstlauer. Indeed, Tripsdrill's involvement with Gerstlauer goes back a long way, as G'sengte Sau was Gerst's first ever coaster, back in 1998. And what is remarkable is how smooth and accomplished the ride is, given that it was Gerstlauer's very first effort.
 
The ride is built around a schwäbisch castle, featuring the wild-mouse bends and tight helices typical of these bobsled coasters, with some good near misses around the building structure. More than most rides at Tripsdrill, this one felt truly integrated with its environment; the bunny hops towards the end of the layout felt more like they were following the terrain than having been artificially created.
 

 
It most reminded me of Thor's Hammer at Djurs, which was no bad thing - and no surprise either given that Thor was Gerst's 2nd ever bobsled ride in 2002. A little rough in places, but capable of pulling some great forces around its tight layout.
 
Note how close the ride track is to the public pathway; no netting obscuring the view, no fencing or bars erected in the name of H&S. It makes a big difference to the organic feel to the ride, and was great to see - the Germans are clearly more trusted than we are to not do anything stupid...
 

 
The other side to the castle hosts the wonderful Badewannen-Fahrt zum Jungbrunnen (translation: "Bathtub Journey to the Fountain of Youth"). This is an above-average Mack flume ride, where riders sit in comedy bathtubs meandering around various animatronic bath time scenes - some featuring a fair bit more nudity than you'd see in other countries! I have photos, but we must remember that TPM is a family website...
 
There were three drops, including a backwards one, and some nice interaction with the aforementioned G'sengte Sau. The drop was visually impressive, but didn't get you all that wet - which is the perfect combination for a cloudy April afternoon in my eyes.
 

 
By far the best bit of Badewannen-Fahrt zum Jungbrunnen however is the figure - let's call her Maike - that greets you when you disembark your bathtub.
 
She surely has to be one of the most gross characters to be found at a Theme Park, ever.
 
Some things cannot be unseen...
 

 
Onto some of the Park's supporting attractions, and we come first to Doppelter Donnerbalken (literally, "Double Thunder Beam"). This is a quirky set of two 50ft drop towers from Premier, facing each other, both themed to large trees. "Forest Brother" Huzelin lives in these trees, apparently, and the only way to visit him is to ride the tower. You know it makes sense.
 
What was quirky about the ride, apart from the fab Tripsdrill themeing, was what happened for the finale. For most of the ride the towers acted like oversized frog-hoppers, bouncing around whilst catching the expressions of those on the tower opposite (made all the more thrilling by only having a small lap bar to hold you in). The finale though involved both towers being raised to the highest point, and then a pretty fast, aggressive lurch forwards towards the riders on the opposite side.
 
This maneuver was genuinely surprising, and only a touch away from being "too rough" - with only a thin lap bar to hold you in, the experience could be compared to having a minor car crash.
 
A nice idea, but I have no doubt that the same effect could be achieved in a more refined way. It's telling that I didn't rush around to ride it again, and I'm a big fan of drop towers (for the record, Thorpe's Detonator still stands as #1 drop tower for me, even up against other towers three times its height...).
 

 
The Park also has a decent kiddie coaster in Rasender Tausendfüßler (translation: "Raging Centipede" ), a Zierer Tivoli with a high-capacity train that snakes around a lake with a fountain.
 
Some decent landscaping - and two laps around the track rather than one - elevate this coaster above the majority of similar kiddie rides.
 

 
Tripsdrill also has an excellent rapids ride in Waschzuber-Rafting ("Washtub Rafting"), a Hafema installation themed around an old washhouse from 1808. The queueline was, as ever, excellently themed, although old mangles and first-gen Miele washing machines aren't the most exciting of things to view whilst queueing...
 
I've always been a fan of Hafema rapids (their best creation surely being Phantasialand's River Quest) due to their innovative 3-piece boats that allow water to slosh around everywhere. This rapids was great fun as expected, with some seriously choppy bits, a thundering waterfall section, and a mock whirlpool, seemingly a Hafema hallmark.
 
Note again how close the Park's public areas are to the trough of the rapids. There's only a small wire fence between the pathway and the ride, meaning that an idiotic guest could easily jump right on in...
 

 
...and the same applies for Mühlbach-Fahrt ("Mill Stream Ride"), the Park's kiddie flume with a teensy 11ft drop - the cobbled area shown on the bottom right of this photo is a public area, but with absolutely nothing to stop a guest falling / jumping in to the water. I wonder how many kids in the summer have attempted to jump in!
 
In today's age of hyper-sensitivity to H&S and litigation, Tripsdrill's approach is unusual, but refreshing - let's just hope their more trusting attitude doesn't spell trouble for the Park down the line.
 

 
And finally a quick look at some oddities that make Tripsdrill, well, Tripsdrill. This ride, Weinkübelfahrt ("Wine Barrel Ride"), looks like your typical cars-on-a-track affair (R.I.P. Miss Hippo), but when various sensors are tripped around the course, the barrels spin like a lively teacup. Fun!
 

 
Fittingly, just behind the Weinkübelfahrt is the Vinarium, a free museum dedicated to German viticulture that offers all those who enter a free Tripsdrill glass ( ) and a walk around (yet more) exhibits of Swabian culture.
 
More of note was the cellar of this Vinarium, which turned out to be a fully operational bar. Manned by a local guy with absolutely no understanding of English whatsoever (A Level German suddenly became very useful to me), locally-produced wines from the region were the order of the day. I went for a glass of red (€1.50), which proved very palatable.
 
Tripsdrill are onto a winner here: if only more Theme Parks would give out free merch and sell cheap local wine in pleasant surroundings....
 

 
Laughs were had on the Park's Wackelräder ("Shaky Wheels") bikes, which had asymmetrical spokes on the front wheels, making them pretty hard to cycle around. I crashed into a wall once, and very nearly crashed into another guest barely a minute later. Good fun, with up-charging conspicuous by its absence.
 

 
In all, Tripsdrill is a really lovely place, filled with good quality, well themed mid-sized attractions.
 
Karacho is a stand-out ride. The fact the Park is family owned and run is evident throughout, and although it was pretty when I went, it must look really gorgeous in the summer. The flowerbed : guest ratio, even in peak season, must be approaching something like 3 : 1 .
 
It's also a place filled with German heritage oddness, which can range from educational and interesting to just plain strange.
 
To finish, I'll leave you with the latter; yet another Tripsdrill character - let's call this one Stefanie - who was found towards the end of the Tripsdriller Eheinstitut (translation: "Tripsdrill Institution of Marriage"; itself an odd attraction).
 
You saucepot, Stefanie.
 

 
N.B. We stayed overnight in one of Tripsdrill's Schäferwagen ("Shepherd's Carts"); essentially a classier, all wooden Thorpe Shark Hotel, set in gorgeous woodland surroundings. Theoretically you can fit 5 in these 13 sq.m.carts, although it would be a squeeze even with 4: two bunk beds hang over a central double bed, with a couch doubling up as a potential fifth bed. Toilets and showers are situated in a (well maintained) central block, but for those with a bit more cash to spare, full blown 6-person 35 sq.m. treehouses (with integrated bathrooms) are also up for grabs.
 
It was more than comfortable, and didn't just provide €7 pizzas delivered to our door and a great night's sleep, but a hearty free breakfast the next morning. At €100 (£80) a night all-in, including free entry to the Tripsdrill Wildparadies Nature Park next door and discounted Tripsdrill Theme Park entry, it comes recommended to those looking for an overnight option.
 

 
Thanks for reading; comments welcome as always.
 
Next up: Holiday Park!

Canadian Caper
 
As you'll have read in Part 1, my Canadian Caper involved a fairly crazy 2 days visiting 4 Theme Parks across the Canadian-US border in September, thanks to some ludicrously cheap flights from British Airways. And as Day 1 was fully taken up by the huge Canada's Wonderland with its 16 coasters, that left 3 Parks to cover on the 2nd day. With over 200km of driving to cover and a border crossing, the odds of me actually completing the planned itinerary weren't great - but Lady Luck was thankfully on my side.
 
Read on for Part 2 of my Canadian Caper!
 

 
Marineland
 

 
So first to Marineland, a (you guessed it) marine-based Park just one mile away from the Falls at Niagara. The place has had more than it's fair share of controversy, with its 81-year-old owner John Holer appearing in the press for animal-abuse allegations with depressing regularity over the years. If you thought that SeaWorld looked bad after 2013's Blackfish, you ain't seen nothing yet. VICE have recently published an informative guide to the Park entitled: "Marineland is a Hellhole". Only last month, the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals charged Marineland with five counts of animal cruelty, with further charges pending.
 
In yet another example, in 2011 SeaWorld won a court battle against Marineland surrounding the return of Ikaika the Killer Whale (Tillikum's son). Ikaika was on loan to Marineland from SeaWorld but SeaWorld sought to bring the animal back under its care, citing concerns about deteriorating conditions at the Park. Marineland lost, appealed, and lost again. If SeaWorld - which (fairly or not) has been very publicly criticised for its animal welfare record - is claiming that standards aren't high enough, you have to worry there's a problem...
 
 
These stories are undoubtedly absolutely shocking, but ultimately weren't enough to prevent my curiosity from getting the better of me, so I nonetheless duly handed over my cash at the entrance gates...
 

 
...and once inside, it's clear that Marineland is quite unique.
 
For starters, it's vast. Built for Disney World crowds, but in reality attracting Gulliver's World crowds... when I arrived at Park opening at 10am, the place was deserted. It has a very "rural" feel about it; essentially being over 1,000 acres of woodland peppered with fish tanks and amusement rides. Getting anywhere takes an age.
 
And what looks like it should be a service road is in fact the main guest thoroughfare in the Park. Look at it!
 

 
Unsurprisingly, the Park's headline attraction, Dragon Mountain, is quite a trek away - over 1.2km walking distance from the Park entrance.
 
Nestled deep in the woods, initial impressions however are that the hike is worth it, with the ride sporting a fabulous dragon-themed entrance.
 

 
And the rockwork and themeing continues throughout the queueline, which due to verging on the pitch black fostered quite an eery atmosphere - especially given there was no-one else around.
 
My trusty camera (the excellent Sony HX90V) even struggled to get a good shot of the station, below, which had a little more light in it - and, thankfully, another guest.
 

 
Dragon Mountain is, by most metrics, an unusual coaster. Conceived by Arrow's Ron Toomer, it was the tallest roller coaster in the world at the time of construction in 1983 (186ft), and at 5,500ft long, it's covers 30 acres of Marineland woodland; 90% of the track is hidden from guests before riding.
 
Ascending the lift hill for the first time, I really had no idea what lay ahead - which can't often be said for a large outdoor coaster!
 

 
The three and a half minute ride is a lot of fun, although not without a few painful moments along the way.
 
The trains are old-fashioned Arrow and don't allow for a huge amount of movement. The track doesn't handle transitions especially smoothly. But the ride does have a host of surprises up its sleeve, including two consecutive vertical loops, a large downwards helix inside a half-built volcano structure, two dives into tunnel sections (more tunnel than any other coaster in the world), and still the world's only bowtie element, the exit of which is shown below!
 
Oh, and a lot of completely straight track. So much straight track.
 

 
After a few rides on the Mountain, I strolled back over to the left hand side of the Park to take in the only other coaster, Lady Bug Coaster. Set in a charming kids area that also features a Zierer Kontiki (Viking Adventure), Zierer Ferris Wheel (Tivoli Wheel), and Zierer Flying Fish (Ocean Odyssey), Lady Bug is a simple Zierer Tivoli with manual brakes and had a longer queue than I ever saw for Dragon Mountain.
 

 
Having gone full circle back to the Park's entrance - and with energy levels already waning - I grabbed a very greasy chicken strips and chips meal from the Park's only restaurant and settled down to watch the King Waldorf Stadium Show.
 
This is essentially Shamu-lite, and I thought was pretty well done, with a variety of animals featured including beluga whales, dolphins, and a humongous walrus at the end.
 
The show aimed to put one half of the audience (red team) in competition with the other (blue team) via a variety of marine displays and tricks, but it didn't get the crowd (which had reached a respectable volume - I suspect the entire Park was there) especially excited. The speaker volume was also down very low, although I couldn't tell whether this was out of respect for the animals or whether it was simply a bit broken...
 

 
And last but not least, opening only at 12pm (cost saving?), the Park's most recognisable attraction by far is its S&S Combo Tower, Sky Screamer. This thing is huge, and looks even bigger because it is perched on top of a hill right at the centre of the Park (it's a 300m, 10 minute upward struggle to even get to the ride entrance from the base of the hill - painful in the now-midday sun).
 
The advertising of Sky Screamer as "the world's highest triple tower ride" is somewhat misleading. It is not the world's tallest triple tower ride - the tower itself is tall (100m), but 15m shorter than Madrid's S&S triple tower Venganza del Enigma (115m). What gives Marineland's tower the "highest" claim is the fact it's sat on that 46m hill; it's high by virtue of its location, not because it has the longest drop.
 
But I digress. It's still bloody big.
 

 
And that 450m total height is certainly put to good use, affording quite spectacular views over Niagara Falls itself from the top. Simply breathtaking, and pleasingly the ride itself is a typically thrilling S&S affair to boot (although still pales a little in comparison to the superlative Fabbri Megadrop IMO...).
 
In fact, I'd go as far to say that Sky Screamer is the best-located drop tower anywhere in the world, although Big Shot on top of the 921-foot Stratosphere Tower in Las Vegas might have something to say about that... are there any other contenders?
 

 
So, Marineland - never far from controversy, and a pretty strange place to spend a few hours.
 
Its few rides, marine exhibits, and stadium are spread out over such a huge area that it makes a day there more effort than it should be; it desperately needs some form of Park-wide transportation system, and that walk up to Sky Screamer isn't fun for anyone - an escalator in the same vein as Liseberg's would do wonders. It also in general just needs more, especially for an entry price that's within range of Wonderland's.
 
But it does have some gems - Dragon Mountain and Sky Screamer make the visit worthwhile, and the Stadium show was well presented. I just hope that the stars of said show are properly looked after behind the scenes...
 
Martin's Fantasy Island
 

 
It was now nearly 1pm, and I'd taken longer at Marineland than originally planned (the 12pm opening of Sky Screamer being much to blame). Part of me considered skipping Martin's Fantasy Island, given that I'd heard of its reputation as just a glorified fairground, and the more-alluring Darien Lake was still over an hour's drive away, including a border crossing into the USA at Niagara.
 
An even larger part of me considered skipping it following an agonisingly long wait at said border, having been ordered into the Port of Entry building for further checks because my story ("I was last in the USA in June") didn't align with the US Customs and Border Protection computer systems, which had no record of this visit. Sigh.
 
All of this meant that I didn't reach Martin's until 2:30pm. But I'm very glad I kept it in the itinerary.
 

 
The Park is, essentially, a glorified fairground, albeit a well presented one. Everything was clean and tidy, and the setting around a small lake is really quite nice.
 
Martin's is a classic slice of Americana, with the place clearly targeting local families with a no-frills, great value day out. The place feels very rural and low-key; the closest Park in the UK in my opinion would be Oakwood.
 
Everything here is pretty standard - there's a Star Flyer, a Disko, a Gravitron, and a Teacups, all presented without a great deal of themeing, and mostly un-shaded tarmac connecting it all together. Excellent.
 
On the coaster front there's three to enjoy, starting with a standard Zamperla spinning Wild Mouse; Crazy Mouse.
 

 
Number two is a standard Wacky Worm from SBF Visa; Max's Doggy Dog Coaster.
 

 
And last but certainly not least is the very non-standard CCI Woodie, Silver Comet.
 
The ride, standing at the back of the Park, is the more unusual hybrid type with grey steel supports. Its stats suggest a perfectly average ride; 82ft height, 55mph top speed, 50° drop, 1:45 ride time.
 
Some CCIs impress: Megafobia, Raven, Tonnerre du Zeus. Some don't: Stampida.
 

 
Silver Comet definitely impressed, and is a brilliant example of how a ride doesn't have to break any records to be a thoroughly worthwhile attraction.
 
The layout is very peppy, never dull, and the above-average maintenance work over the years means a very smooth ride. Hugely re-rideable, and with good pops of airtime across the layout, a whole lot of fun.
 

 
This alone is the reason to come to Martin's Fantasy Island. It might look like an off-the-shelf model from Roller Coaster Tycoon, but its varied, compact layout is an absolute winner. Silver Comet is of the best large family attractions (with just a 1.2m height restriction) I've ridden in a long while. It'd fit into a Chessington or a Drayton wonderfully.
 
The only fly in the ointment is the operations on the ride. Mirroring much of the rest of the Park, loading and dispatch times on Silver Comet were painful. Having been assigned a row, riders get on the train and are told over the tannoy to do up seat belts only. 2 members of staff then start from the front of the train and check individual seat belts down the platform. Then the lap bars are unlocked, and riders are again loudly told to keep arms up: "do not touch the lap bars, we will put them down for you!" The 2 members of staff then go down the train again, lowering the lap bar. If any rider touches a lap bar, the process starts over.
 
Very tedious, and only serves to deter guests from marathoning an otherwise excellent coaster!
 

 
After 3 rides on the Comet, my watch (3:30pm) told me it was really time to move on.
 
I grabbed an obligatory (yet reasonably priced) Hot Dog and Pepsi, and made a beeline for the exit.
 

 
2016 is the last season that the Park will be operating under the Martin's moniker - local businessman Martin DiPietro, the owner since 1994, sold the Park earlier this year to Apex Parks Group who own small Parks, Waterparks and FECs across the US. This seems a good fit, and if the new owners keep the same solid standards and bring some new investment in the place, this would be no bad thing.
 
Commenting on the sale, Al Weber Jr, Apex CEO, said: “It’s a nice park, in nice condition, in a great market. We like that it’s family focused.”
 
I couldn't agree more.
 
Darien Lake
 

 
40 miles away from Martin's Fantasy Island is Darien Lake, arguably the premier Park in the state of New York, and a former Six Flags property (1999 - 2006).
 
The place certainly makes an immediate impression on you with the towering 208ft Ride of Steel lining the entrance to the Park.
 
Little generates anticipation and excitement for a day out at a Theme Park better than a large red and blue hyper... more on this later.
 

 
At this point it had just turned 4:00pm, giving me 6 hours to get everything in before Park close, and the commencement of the daily show Ignite the Night.
 
The place was busy - it was a glorious Sunday afternoon - meaning that the task ahead was challenging, but not impossible. I grabbed my admissions ticket, stopping briefly to admire the attractive entrance plaza, and headed on in.
 

 
First up was Mind Eraser; an apt name for a ride that tries its level best to do your head in.
 
This was typical Vekoma SLC fare, made worse by having only one train in operation (the other train was in pieces to the side of the brake run).
 
On the plus side, at least it looks pretty on the lake.
 

 
Continuing the theme of ubiquitous Dutch pain-machines was Boomerang, a Vekoma, erm, Boomerang. At the time of writing, there are 34 operating Vekoma Boomerangs in the world; 16 of which are called Boomerang. This one tries to add a touch of originality by adding a suffix: Coast to Coaster. I'm not sure what exactly this means.
 
Regardless, this was one of the smoother Boomerangs I've ridden, and was well presented in attractive colours akin to our those of our own Colossus.
 

 
The Park's only Woodie comes in the form of Predator, a relatively rare Dinn Corporation ride from the same stable as the relatively rough Mean Streak at Cedar Point, relatively rough Timber Wolf at Worlds of Fun and relatively rough Thunder Run at Kentucky Kingdom.
 
Predator was, predictably, relatively rough. Actually, towards the back of the train where I was sitting, it verged on being extremely rough, which did nothing to add to its unmemorable layout. Zero to headache in 110 seconds.
 
Rarely do I come off a ride and tell myself I'm never doing it again. Predator was one of those times.
 

 
Unfortunately, the Park's 1982 Arrow Looper Viper did little to help ease the headache.
 
With both track and supports painted completely in black (is this a Merlin property?), and an extensive layout with 5 inversions, the ride certainly looks intense from the ground. Alas getting on board proved to be as slow as the SLC; the ride was similarly running only one train, and the station was a complete free-for-all, with no orderly queuing taking place whatsoever.
 
And whilst the ride was long and varied, the experience wasn't especially comfortable. On reflection I'd have taken another ride on Marineland's Dragon Mountain over another ride on Viper, Marineland's ride having opened just a year after Darien's.
 

 
Yet another long queue greeted me at the Park's newest coaster, Moto Coaster, although at this stage I was very nearly grateful that it would give my head a bit of a rest.
 
Thanks to the fairly appalling throughput on the 12-person trains, I had ample time to grab a drink and catch my breath - good news. The bad news was that this 2008 ride has literally been plonked down on a slab of concrete, with a queue line completely absent of foliage or shade. Even into the early evening, the sun was strong... and so the headache continued.
 
I'd been wanting to ride one of these for a while, but with the closest of the 10 operating models being in Särkänniemi, Finland, they'd evaded me thus far. So how was the ride? Not half bad, actually, although the limitations of the compact layout meant that the trains never gained any pace (a max speed of 40mph). The flywheel launch was a bit of a non-event as it lacked acceleration, but the twists and turns of the track were smoothly navigated, and the riding position was comfortable.
 
One of Zamperla's better creations, but still unfortunately inferior to Vekoma's bigger, faster, more substantial product.
 

 
The sun was starting to go down, so I checked out what else the Park had to offer whilst it was still light.
 
There's a HUSS Top Spin, Twister, although this was closed for maintenance on the day of my visit. The most recent thrill addition (in 2015) is a 22m Larson Loop by the name of Rolling Thunder, although I didn't go on this having enjoyed / endured the Loop at Six Flags St Louis, Fireball, earlier in the year.
 
Being fond of drop towers, I did have a go on the S&S-built Blast Off, a respectable 185ft effort that was garnering long queues. Pleasingly the lengthy wait was vindicated by some spectacular views over the Park.
 
There's also a moderately sized (60ft) Arrow Log Flume, Thunder Rapids, and a moderately sized (50ft) Intamin Shoot the Chutes, Shipwreck Falls. An decent length Intamin River Rapids, Grizzly Run, completes the solid water-ride lineup.
 
I even found time to enjoy American Rock, a jukebox show playing three times daily in the Grand Theatre. The venue couldn't have held more than a few hundred, but the show (with a cast of six) is professionally staged and performed; the audience seemed to lap it up.
 
The most unusual thing however is a baseball batting cage up-charge attraction that I'd not seen at a Theme Park before, allowing guests to pay for a few minutes of practice in a safely netted-off area. There were four pitches, and the speed at which the balls were being fired out of the machines increased as players went from left to right.
 
The kid below was hitting from the slowest firing machine... and let's just say it was still pretty fast!
 

 
Night was beginning to fall, and the only attraction left on the hit list was Ride of Steel. With an hour or two still to go before Park close, what better way than to spend the time getting as many rides in as possible...?
 
Unfortunately doing this was - as with the SLC and the Arrow Looper - a largely painful experience, due to slow loading and the disorganised melee in the station. Being a single rider, I did a lot of "making friends" with potential other single riders closer to the air gates to try to fill empty seats and get maximum rides in!
 
The ride itself is absolutely superb; easily for me on a par with similar Intamin creations such as Expedition GeForce at Holiday Park and Goliath at Walibi. Comfortable lap bar restraints and a long, airtime-filled ride; Ride of Steel benefits from a kick-ass first drop, colossal wide sweeping helices, and ejector-tastic bunny hops just before the brake run. It's a huge amount of fun; more rough and ready than an equivalent B&M, but more intense too.
 

 
One of the defining memories of the trip for me is sitting on Ride of Steel for the n-th time, climbing the lift hill in the warm breeze as the sun had just dropped below the horizon, and looking out over the beautiful lit up Park. Magic.
 
It's a real shame that there aren't more of these in the world; there are only 6 Intamin Hypers and 2 Intamin Gigas. Which is why it's really really good that Energylandia has bought the first new installation for 15 years. Set to open in 2018, the ride looks set to take the "fastest non-launched coaster in Europe" title with a max speed of 87mph, and even features a splashdown.
 
Having visited earlier this year, Energylandia is a really promising Park, and this on paper looks fantastic... colour me excited.
 

 
Following one final ride on Ride of Steel, I walked over to the grassy area by the Park's lake and took my place for the 10pm performance of Ignite the Night.
 
I have to be honest, I wasn't expecting anything especially impressive from this, a nightly show from a regional Theme Park, albeit the biggest one in the state (Darien's visitor numbers won't be topping much more than 1m; around half of what Alton Towers might achieve).
 
But it was absolutely fantastic. It blew me away. Darien's marketing is pretty accurate when it claims: "Music, Water, Fire, Video, and Pyrotechnics all come together for this laser light spectacular in the air, on the stage and all around." Lasers images are projected onto a central screen, whilst a myriad other lasers point out towards the crowd. This, plus the water and fire effects, are all synchronised to a booming soundtrack, which covered a wide variety of genres (everything from I'm Too Sexy to Wonderful World).
 
Clocking in at 25 minutes, audiences are certainly given value for money; there are many highlights, but Pitbull's Fireball, complete with liberal bursts of fire, certainly got the crowd going. You can get a quick flavour for the show from Darien's promo video here.
 
The show finishes with a genuinely patriotic and rousing rendition of Lee Greenwood's God Bless The USA, which didn't leave many dry eyes in the house. Superb.
 
Darien Lake seriously punches above its weight with it's nightly show, and it alone makes a visit to the Park worthwhile. Kudos to everyone involved. Why can't our Parks find the budgets to do this...?
 

 
And that brings Day 2 of my Canadian Caper to a close!
 
This is probably the longest trip report I've ever written, which reflects just how much I packed into this one day. Pleasingly, nothing spited me, I got everything I wanted to done, and had some really great new experiences; Marineland's Drop Tower, Martin's Woodie, and Darien's Hyper all spring to mind, alongside of course Ignite the Night.
 
I left the Darien Lake car park at around 10:45pm, thoroughly exhausted, but very content. There is a huge amount to see and do around Toronto - for the general tourist let alone the Theme Park enthusiast - and a fly-and-drive visit here comes highly recommended.
 
~
 
Thanks for reading! Comments very welcome below.
 
Liked this? More musings from my travels in recent years:
 
Vietnam Dubai Italy Germany

Canadian Caper
 
Sometimes in life, an opportunity presents itself that you just can't pass up, despite the fact it might be a bit mad... and in my case, this year it was an email from British Airways offering me a return flight to Toronto, Friday - Wednesday in September, for just £356. I had a few days holiday left, hadn't set foot in Canada before, and knew there were some tasty coasters operating in this part of the world... so why not?
 
It didn't take too long to come up with a plan: flight out of LHR on the Friday night after work, landing into YYZ (Toronto International) on the Friday night (8 hour flight but Toronto is 5 hours behind!). Pick up hire car, drive to hotel near the airport on arrival. A whole day at Canada's Wonderland on the Saturday, with the evening back in the airport hotel. Sunday was to be the big one: a three hour drive across the border to Darien Lake (USA), taking in both Marineland (Canada) and Martin's Fantasy Island (USA) on the way. Sunday night spent in Buffalo, which would set me up nicely for a whole day on the Monday exploring Niagara Falls. Return the hire car on the Monday evening, and take the subway into downtown Toronto, leaving Tuesday and Wednesday free to explore all the city has to offer. Phew.
 
With temperatures in the high-teens and the late-summer sun set against deep blue cloudless skies, September is a fantastic time of year to visit Toronto. I found the city to be a smaller, more friendly New York, made all the better by its location on the waterfront of Lake Ontario and the omnipresence of Tim Hortons. But what of the Theme Parks?
 
Read on for my Canadian Caper!
 

 
CN Tower: EdgeWalk
 
Before we dive in, a quick nod firstly to a Toronto attraction that isn't a Theme Park, but gave me a bigger thrill than any Park in this report.
 
The CN Tower is quite the landmark for Toronto, built in 1979 as the world's tallest tower and to this day remaining the tallest free-standing structure in the Western Hemisphere. At 1,815ft high (553m), it's nearly twice the height of London's Shard, although the viewing platform (shown below by the red arrow) stands only at 1,168ft (356m).
 
No big deal, right?
 
...it is when you're harnessed up and walking around on a small platform on the top of it!
 
This is the EdgeWalk, opened in 2011 as the world's highest full-circle, hands-free building walk. It punishes your bank balance at $195 (c.£115), although this is somewhat justified given that it has a capacity of only 6 people every half an hour, and it's really, really cool.
 

 
Understandably security is very tight for an attraction like this - guests all have to wear a bright red "walk suit", and aren't allowed any loose objects on them, including watches, hair clips, and wedding rings. Personal cameras are a definite no-no. However, walk leaders are equipped with cameras and all guests receive a complimentary HD video and printed photo of their experience, with the (predictable) opportunity to buy even more photos at the exit.
 
I went up first thing on a beautiful cloud-free morning, and can honestly say it was the most exciting, terrifying, and liberating thing I've done all year.
 
Just check out that view!
 

 
Guests are harnessed up to the overhead rail via two ropes, and the walk leader takes the group around one complete circuit during the 30 minute session, encouraging each person to try out a few "tricks" along the way, such as balancing your feet on the edge and leaning back (above), and leaning out over the edge into the city like the famous "I'm Flying!" scene in Titanic (below).
 
Everyone attempted all the tricks (I was joined by a thirty-something IT technician from Jordan, and a fifty-something management consultant from the US), although not without a few wobbly legs and involuntary shrieks along the way.
 
If you completely trust your harness - and you have no reason not to - you're absolutely fine, but nonetheless the raw adrenaline from being that high up and that exposed is quite something, especially if conditions get a little windy. It's breathtaking and beautiful, and worth every penny.
 
EdgeWalk: bringing a whole new meaning to "don't look down"...!
 

 
Canada's Wonderland
 

 
Onto the Parks.
 
Canada's Wonderland, located 25 miles north of Downtown Toronto, is by any standards a serious player in the Theme Park industry, being ranked 3rd in the world by number of roller coasters (16), after Six Flags Magic Mountain (19) and Cedar Point (17), and being the 2nd most-visited Park in the Cedar Fair chain (soundly beating Cedar Point, and sitting just behind Knotts Berry Farm).
 
I'm a fan of Cedar Fair properties - in my experience they tend to index slightly more towards "well funded" than "managed by corporate spreadsheet" vs. either of the Six Flags or Merlin chains. That said, they are far from immune to criticism, and Wonderland's $20 parking fee payable as soon as you drive onto the property hardly gets your day off to a flying start.
 
What immediately lifts the mood however is a quite wonderful view of the Park's headline attraction, Leviathan.
 

 
More on that later.
 
For now, it was a quick photo of the uninspiring but admittedly well-maintained entrance, a mandatory scan through the metal detectors, and in through the turnstiles...
 

 
...and straight after the pretty average entrance comes an unexpected visual treat.
 
Seeing Main Street and the Cinderella Castle upon entering the Magic Kingdom creates an excitement and anticipation of the day ahead that is rarely matched, although plenty of Parks aspire to have the same effect. Wonderland's huge flower display, flanked by patriotic flags, in front of a giant water display, in front of a large artificial mountain, has quite some impact.
 
Definitely above average!
 

 
And so to the first ride of the day, which was actually housed inside the mountain: Wonder Mountain's Guardian. Debuting in 2014 (although the idea was first mooted 10 years prior), the 3D dark-ride-come-roller-coaster represents a unique collaboration between Germany's Art Engineering (no, me neither), who manufactured the track, and Canada's own TrioTech, who designed the ride's interactive 3D animations.
 
Riders sit in one of the 2 car, 8 seat trains, wearing 3D glasses and holding a mounted "blaster" gun. Alas, on my visit every train had at least 1 or 2 blasters not operational, meaning the hourly capacity wasn't hitting much more than 500... snails have travelled faster than this queueline.
 
The first half of the ride resembles a fairly tame wild-mouse style coaster, although the enjoyment of it is somewhat impaired by the 3D glasses making everything a bit of a blur . Riders then enter the mountain, as the second half of the ride sees the trains shuttle between giant video screens, in much the same style as Toy Story Mania and Maus Au Chocolat. The story goes that old King Adelsten once tried to fight a dragon inside the mountain, but during the battle, the King lost his crown. Stansein, one of the king's servants, now guides riders through the mountain to find and retrieve the crown - with riders helping fight off all the monsters along the way using the mounted blasters. You would be forgiven for wondering what on earth was going on; the 3D animations weren't great. So far, so humdrum.
 
But THEN, out of nowhere, comes the best drop track section on a roller coaster I have ever experienced. Wonder Mountain's Guardian features a surprise drop of 30ft (9m), roughly twice the height of Thirteen's and Darkmare's, and many times more powerful. It's the final scene, and the mountain dragon has emerged again, breathing fire at riders - and without any warning, the train just plummets at a rate that would rival most drop towers.
 
Indeed, it's so impressive that it turns a fairly mediocre ride into one worth joining the back of the queue again for... if it weren't for the fact that the throughput was so horrific.
 

 
Sat right behind the Mountain, and even snaking around the top of it, is Vortex, an Arrow suspended coaster. I've always liked these swinging rides (alas Vampire at Chessington was never the same after the new trains...), and this particular model looked fantastic sporting a fresh new coat of red paint.
 
The ride experience held up very well too given its age, with the cars' extreme swinging being made all the more fun by the track's proximity to the lake and a top speed of 55mph - the fastest Arrow suspended coaster ever built.
 

 
Vortex: 25 years old, and still one of the best rides in the Park. Both unique and intense; there are now only 5 rides of this type left operating in the world - ride whilst you can!
 

 
Speaking of "best rides in the Park", at this point I couldn't resist giving the headline attraction a spin, Leviathan. Leviathan is a 306ft giga coaster and one of only two B&M creations to break the 300ft mark to date; the other being the superlative Fury 325 at sister Cedar Fair Park, Carowinds.
 
Decked out in bold blue and cyan hues, the ride looks spectacular and although far from fully themed, attention has certainly been given to the ride's styling, which includes a classy three-dimensional logo sat atop a 360° waterfall at the entrance. Why can't major rides in the UK be as bright and colourful as this?
 
As for the ride itself - as you'd expect from a B&M airtime machine, it's a huge amount of fun; silky smooth tracking even at top speeds of 92mph, coupled with the comfortable, open train design, makes for a supremely enjoyable and highly re-rideable experience. What really stands out though is the first drop: diving into a tunnel, it's one of the best, bum-off-seat freefall experiences I have had in a very long time. So. Much. Fun. One of B&M's best, both in the back row (for the airtime) and the front row (for the sheer raw speed).
 

 
What lets Leviathan down a little though is actually its length, which might seem a strange thing to say for a coaster that's got the same amount of track as Blackpool's Big One. But Leviathan is over 40% taller than Big One, and goes 20mph faster, so you hit that final brake run so much quicker than you'd like. Indeed, the brake run itself is actually taller than most coasters, standing at over 100ft - one can't help but wonder whether there's a missed opportunity there with all that kinetic energy going to waste. It could simply do more.
 
Leviathan is undoubtedly a brilliant ride and I could sit on it all day, but it is bettered by Carowinds' very similar installation 3 years later, due to Fury being well over 1,000ft longer, containing all the same juicy floater airtime, and still having an absolutely killer first drop. Fury should be a top 10 coaster (top 5?) in anyone's book, whereas I suspect riders of Leviathan will be slightly less generous in their rankings.
 
You can't deny though that it looks very pretty indeed...
 

 
3 down, many more to go, but it's from here that you start to realise that although on the coaster front Wonderland has a lot of quantity, it doesn't fare so well on quality.
 
For starters, there's the ubiquitous Vekoma Boomerang, The Bat, which rode much the same as any other (although it's continually surprising how forceful these can be; I even greyed out on one in Thailand...). 
 
I was actually lucky(?) to even get a ride, given that it seemed to be giving the engineering department headaches for most of the day.
 

 
In a similar vein, the Park hosts one of the original Vekoma Suspended Family Coasters, Silver Streak. Built in 2001, the coaster still rides well, but the tracking is rougher and the seating inferior to the manufacturer's more recent SFC effort at our own Paulton's Park.
 

 
And completing the Vekoma hat trick is Flight Deck, an SLC that looked shiny and fun, but predictably rode like a complete turd. It was a standard stick-your-neck-out-to-avoid-your-ears-getting-boxed affair, with generous helpings of being kicked in the back by your seat. Tick.
 
At the macro level, it's a real shame that these rides are so commonplace around the world - there are well over 40 still operating today, and Vekoma are still making money from it; a Park in Vietnam appears to have bought a brand new one for 2017 .
 
Very few ride types in the world are nigh-on guaranteed to put the rider through such an endurance test...
 

 
...except for maybe this one, the Zamperla Volare.
 
Thankfully less commonplace than the SLC (there are only 7), the Volare is without doubt one of the most poorly designed and fabricated coaster types around. Canada's Wonderland has the dubious honour of buying one of the first ones, with Tomb Raider: The Ride debuting in 2004.
 
These days it's called Time Warp, although much of the Tomb Raider themeing still exists. Getting into the ride involves a fairly frantic process of jumping onto the moving train, climbing a small ladder, and poking your head through the front bars. Staff members at the end of the station manually lower the back bars to lock you into place, and the ride then turns the train horizontal.
 

 
The riding position isn't exactly uncomfortable, but unlike, say the B&M flyer trains, you never feel particularly cushioned; there's a lot of industrial-looking metal around you.
 
The slowly rotating lift hill (in a similar style to Eurosat at Europa) winches you to the top, and then the pain begins.
 
To say Time Warp was inelegant would be an understatement; the sharp turns and awkward inversions ensure your body is slammed with some force into all sides of the ride car. I spent the ride braced for impact.
 
There is a reason as to why "Favourite Volare" came last in the Mitch Hawker Poll, below even Goudurix. It's a rather unique experience, but not, unfortunately, an enjoyable one.
 

 
Time for a quick look at the Park's flat rides - starting with Shockwave, a Mondial Top Scan.
 
Top Scans are amongst my favourite flat ride types, but despite sporting a supremely colourful paint job, this one was about a thrilling as a limp handshake. It lifted us up, lethargically windmilled a few times, and lowered us down again.
 
If you think Thorpe's Samurai is a good example of a terribly-run Top Scan model, you ain't seen nothing yet. It's a shame, but these rides are really only at their best when on the fair circuit, where they're not being continually flogged for 8 hours+ a day.
 

 
Wonderland also features a WindSeeker, another Mondial creation and a staple of Cedar Fair parks (having bought 6 of them over a 2 year period!).
 
You may be forgiven for thinking that these ride in much the same way as a Funtime Star Flyer, but they're actually quite different experiences. Star Flyers give riders the illusion of jeopardy, helped in large part by the fact that the seats are pretty minimalist, attached via a few chains to a central rotating structure that looks like it's been made out of Meccano. Wind Seekers are altogether more substantial; the seats are heavily cladded, attached via large metal arms to the sizable central rotating structure. Wind Seekers are also larger machines, with a capacity of up to 64 per ride and in this case, a height exceeding 300ft.
 
This provides the average rider with less to be nervous about as they're dangling around at altitude, and the result is an altogether more enjoyable ride. Views from the top of Wonderland's Windseeker were spectacular; you could even see the skyscrapers of Downtown Toronto.
 

 
New for 2016 was Skyhawk, a 131ft Gerstlauer Sky Roller. As with the Mondial Top Scan, I'm a huge fan of these flat rides - the ability to give yourself a seriously intense spinning ride through simple physics is fantastic fun.
 
I'd really enjoyed Holiday Park's Gerstlauer Sky Fly earlier in the year, and having given Wonderland's Skyhawk a spin, it's very clear as to which is the superior model.
 
The Sky Roller works by rotating the ride vehicles 360 degrees around the central tower in one plane (do excuse the pun). The Sky Fly however employs a boom arm that is far more three dimensional in its swinging around of the ride vehicles - meaning that riders have far greater opportunity to complete a full spin in their vehicle.
 
I managed to get a couple of complete spins in my aeroplane on Skyhawk, but it was much trickier than on either of the Holiday Park or Nigloland Sky Fly models. Cedar Fair likely chose the Sky Roller for capacity reasons (16 per ride vs. 12 per ride), but that's about the only advantage I can see over the Fly.
 

 
And it would be remiss of me to move on without touching on Sledge Hammer, the world's first and only HUSS JUMP². Designed especially for Canada's Wonderland, this giant flat ride (as with so many prototypes) has suffered more than its fair share of technical problems and downtime since it opened in 2003; kudos should be given to the Park for persevering with it.
 
It certainly looks the part, but how does it ride? Pretty well, actually, apart from one flaw. The ride involves the eight claws rotating around the central structure, with the 8-seater cars at the end of each claw also rotating around their own axes. Every so often, the eight claws suddenly shoot up into the air (as shown below), causing a sharp "losing your stomach" feeling. More rotating happens with the claws all raised, and again without warning they suddenly all drop down to ground level again. This repeats for around 2 minutes of ride time.
 
It's certainly a unique experience, and one that I'm glad to have had, but the flaw becomes apparent during a "jump", thanks to the sudden change in direction upwards or downwards; momentum from the rotation causes both your body to slam into the side of the seat, and your face to slam into the side of the restraint. The restraints are very cushioned (more so than usual...), but you couldn't exactly call it a refined ride.  Ow.
 

 
Back to the coasters. Dragon Fire is one of the four original coasters at Canada's Wonderland, having opened in 1981 along with the Park.
 
Geek fact: since the removal of Drachen Fire from Busch Gardens Williamsburg, Dragon Fire is also the only Arrow coaster in existence to have counterclockwise-turning corkscrews.
 
I can't say I particularly noticed the difference.
 

 
Ghoster Coaster is another of the original 1981 lineup, and is tucked away in the Peanuts-themed kids' area at the back of the Park.
 
Coasters like this - solid, medium-sized, family rides - are generally undervalued by enthusiasts, but are arguably just as important as the big blockbuster attractions to the average punter; Ghoster was pulling queues nearly as long as Leviathan's.
 
Alas leg room for me was worse than even the very worst European short haul airline (I'm looking at you, Wizz Air), but the kids were having a great time.
 

 
The Park also features a "large Park" version of Mack's standard Wild Mouse: The Fly. Always good fun.
 
Geek fact #2: The Fly has an identical layout to all of the Project X / Test Track rides operating in the Legolands of the world. Thankfully The Fly's ride vehicles did not have comedy hoods installed over them, unlike poor Legoland Windsor's old Jungle Coaster...
 

 
Canada's Wonderland also plays host to one of the 3 Premier-built Backlot Stunt Coasters; these were previously known as the Italian Job Stunt Track from when the rides opened in 2005 to when the old Paramount Parks (of which Canada's Wonderland was one) were sold to Cedar Fair in 2008.
 
All of them clones, the layout sees guests launched at 40mph out of the station, before winding around a succession of tight upward helices themed as a parking lot. From here the trains dive into a series of s-bends trying to "avoid" parked police cars, before plateauing out in front of a tunnel. When the ride first opened under Paramount, here the trains were stopped for a short show to take place, involving a helicopter rising up along with simulated gunfire; this gunfire sprayed "petrol" all around riders, which resulted in a gas tank "explosion". Alas on my ride none of these special effects were in operation, and the block brakes weren't even slowing the trains, so we just cruised on past all of the themeing. A shame - not least because on the Kings Island version I rode earlier this year, they had kept a stripped down version of the show complete with pyros.
 
Trains are then launched for a second time into a tunnel, twisting and dropping before coming out of the "broken billboard", diving down in an aqueduct and turning back into the ride's station (below).
 
In all, despite having a mediocre capacity (only 12 guests per train...), these are great little rides; the tight transition from the initial launch into the "parking lot" helices is surprisingly intense, even causing me to momentarily grey out. It's just a little frustrating to see this particular one so pared back compared to its launch just over 10 years ago. No special effects, no Italian Job theme, and no MINI Cooper trains (sadly, Cedar Fair lost the licence for these too in 2010).
 

 
And finally to Behemoth, the original B&M airtime machine at Canada's Wonderland, which - incredulously - now has to put up with being Leviathan's little brother. Opening only 4 years prior to Leviathan, Behemoth is an unquestionably fun coaster, and has much in common with it's bigger, blue-r counterpart. Comfortable, smooth ride? Yep. Nonrestrictive clam shell lap bar? Indeed. Soaring airtime hills? Oh yes. Named after a huge Biblical creature in the book of Job? You got it.
 
But there are also differences; Behemoth is nearly 80ft shorter in height, its 4-across trains have staggered seating, and it's placed to great effect on a large lake, making the dives towards the ground even more exciting. Alas, its first drop doesn't have as much "wow" as Leviathan's - it's good, but not that good - but it redeems itself through its length; having just as much track as Leviathan makes for a longer ride.
 

 
Both deliver lots of floater and ejector airtime. Both are lots of fun. If I had to call it, I'd say front row / back row on Leviathan beats any row on Behemoth, but it's marginal.
 
Visitors to Canada's Wonderland should count themselves lucky they can enjoy not one, but two examples of fine Swiss engineering.
 

 
So, Canada's Wonderland: a large, well-presented park with a tonne of rides to enjoy; some impressive, some less so. My overall impressions of place were very favourable - there is no doubt that it is, as claimed, "Canada's Premier Amusement Park".
 
This is clearly borne out in the visitor numbers - I went on a Saturday in September and the queues were thronging. Great to see, but on days like these it's impossible to do the Park in a day without a Fast Pass - I duly coughed up for the Fast Lane Plus, which allowed me to get on a total of 24 rides in exchange for my additional $75 (c.£43); without it I'd have been lucky to do more than 12.
 
And a place like Wonderland is all about the rides; it's definitely a case of quantity over quality, but there are moments of brilliance to be found in Leviathan's front row, Vortex's back row, and Guardian's breathtaking drop - these alone make the trip over the pond worthwhile.
 
~
 
Thanks for reading! Comments very welcome below.
 
Next up: Day 2 of the Canadian Caper, including Marineland, Martin's Fantasy Island, and Darien Lake.

Several weeks into the UK theme park closed season and the urge to visit somewhere has kicked in. Rather than pay over the odds for a zoo with a Poundland grotto or illuminated bricks, I decided to return somewhere special to my heart.

Lurking in the distance lies, a magicical place.
 

 Disneyland Paris, is that magical place.
A place of dreams and wonders  It's certainly clear that 2016 isn't the most ideal time to be visiting with the yearly closures of Big Thunder and Star Tours amongst the hefty other attraction and area refurbishments.    As excessive the pictured refurbishments may look, they didn't have a massive impact on our enjoyment of the trip. If anything it's actually very exciting to see the park being given the TLC it deserves. The grand entrance to Disneyland Park is one of these and the staggered refurbishment has certainly polished it to an even greater level of amazement. The coloured fountains are wonder to the eyes especially at night.  It's A Small World is looking very refreshed out front with  the inside  noticeably fresher featuring improved audio. The bland warehouse ceiling remains sadly. And Space Mountain continues to be amazing, on the inside and outside.   Add Phantom Manor, Pirates, Tower, Ratatouille and Crush and you have an impressive list of attractions (amongst others).  As great as these attractions may be, even with the absence of Star Tours and Big Thunder, none of them are the fundamental reason why I visit Disney (even Tower).    I visit Disney, because it is Disney. A magical wonderland in it's own bubble, hidden away from the real world. Very few theme parks seem to offer this level of escapism like Disney do. Main Street USA is easily one of the best and grandeur entrance into a park. But at Christmas it's even better, with its facades and entraceways decorated in festive decoration with a massive tree at the bottom.   Studios's entrance is also acceptably festive. Disney is Top when it comes to parades and Christmas is no exception with the park's special festive parade. Mickey and Minnie Toy Story Seasons Greetings  The parade would not be complete without the man himself, my Grandpa. Amongst an extra special parade, festive Disney also exchanges normal Dreams for Christmas Dreams for this magic time of year. As good the show may be, I still prefer normal Dreams by a pretty big margin.   The flow didn't feel as consistent and didn't pull on the heartstrings either. I did like the finale and Let It Go segments though, they were exceptional. Main Street is even pretty at night too.   If you want a magical trip away from the real world, Disneyland Paris is the place for you. It may be undergoing a long refurbishment and be without its flaws but remains a highly magical place to visit. Little is grotty or depressing about the place.    It it is very easy to get to as well, with regular flights from Luton and Gatwick to Paris Charles De Gualle 45 minutes each way and TGV or RER from there. I'd choose the former personally as it takes less than 10 minutes each way and at €17.50 each way isn't too much.    Euro Star and Euro Tunnel (+ 2.5 hour drive) are alternatives so getting there isn't a massive challenge.    STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND BOOK YOUR TRIP!  Because you are missing out  on this very acceptable tea cup ride that makes one  the best ride sounds ever.   BOOM!  

Hope you all grabbed some popcorn or something during this brief intermission.  Anyways, here's the second half...
 
#7 - Cabin in the Woods (2013-2016)
Years experienced:  2013-2016
To be honest, Cabin has gotten progressively worse each season for me.  I'm sure that's partly down to getting used to it all, as newbies in the maze really are blown away by the idea.  However, the original version in 2013 was by far the best.  The idea of the maze was that you would enter a room, close the door, and something would happen.  Every room had an actor and seemed to have a special effect to go with it.  Maybe I just got a good run, but it felt a lot more interactive and the aim was actually achieved.  It wasn't scary, but it was certainly a lot of fun!

 
#6 - Saw Alive (2010-2016)
Years experienced:  2010-2016
I'm including this as a Fright Nights attraction, even if it didn't start off as one.  I've experienced Saw loads of times, due to it being open all season in 2010 and 2011, so I guess it show how much I like it given how high up it is.  It's got a good use of effects, which is something a fair few of the other mazes lack.  And it later years, it's become a bit more theatrical, which gives it a different feel to the others. 
I've definitely got a soft spot for Saw Alive, and I might be over-rating it a tad, but I really have enjoyed it the past couple of years, which I guess helps!

(Concept art from Thorpe Park)
#5 - Containment (2015-2016)
Years experienced:  2015, 2016
2015 Containment was average at best to be honest.  But Containment for 2016 was fabulous; from the nice pre-show, to the fun tasks to the fantastic actors.  Everything just worked, and left me with a huge smile on my face.  The fears included were of a nice range, from the common to the not-so-common:  numerophobia (numbers), chronophobia (time), trypanophobia (needles) and haemophobia (blood). 
It might be because this is the only escape room that I've done that I enjoy it so much, but it's at least set the bar high, and got me itching to try and another horror escape room!

Image from Scruffy Dog
#4 - Experiment 10 (2011-2012)
Years experienced:  2011, 2012
Experiment 10 was one of the most difficult ones to place on the list.  The beginning was pure genius, and the first time I experienced it, it did shock and surprise me.  But from there, it went downhill, with little to write home about.  And let's not talk about the 2012 version and ending shall we. 
Nevertheless, the reception scene, decontamination sequence and isolation rooms were absolutely fantastic, and a brilliant way to start off a scare attraction.  If the same atmosphere and intensity from actors could have been matched during the rest of the maze, it certainly would have been higher up!

Image from scare-zone.com
#3 - The Big Top (2015-2016)
Years experienced:  2015, 2016
Obviously for this, I'm referring to the 2016 version.  Don't get me wrong, 2015 Big Top had a lot of potential and was fun on some runs, but it just wasn't up to scratch when all was said and done. 
2016 Big Top had a nice mix of everything though.  The Madame Mephisto scene was nice, the playground area was fantastic, and showed me how a mesh-strobe-scene can work.  Then the rest of the maze had plenty of theming and nice, open, sets which all worked really well - especially the clown wash room!  Yeah, chainsaw ending doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the maze, and it's a bti cliché, but it still works at least!  It is just so much fun and is designed so that it's really easy to scare people.

#2 - Se7en (2006-2011)
Years experienced:  2009-2011
I honestly think that Se7en was quite under-rated during it's time at Fright Nights.  It got a lot of hate for being in a white tent, and I think its first couple of years weren't that well received generally, but the times I experienced it, it was a solid, dependable maze, featuring fab theming, great smells and effects and a variety of different scare tactics.
2011 was a stand-out season for Se7en though - actors seemed to have been given more leverage on what they could do, and were very full on throughout.  Sure, some of the rooms had lost their appeal after going through it multiple times (in particular the Envy room), but things like the Gluttony room remain in my mind - and nostrils! - to this very day.  I know tents aren't the ideal situation for a horror maze, but based on how this and Big Top have gone down, I'd be happy to see more of them back in the future for greater in-maze experiences.

Image from Theme Park Tourist
#1 - Studio 13 (2014)
Years experienced:  2014
I adored this maze.  It's the only scare attraction where I've truly felt part of the story.  The beginning felt like a backstage tour of a film studio where something wasn't quite right.  The middle felt like being part of a horror film.  The end was executed brilliantly, with the horror film spilling out into real life, and definitely gave me a shock (moreso because of my expectations than anything else, but still...)
The theming was largely very good as well, and the actors all seemed to work well with the maze in my runs.  It all just gelled really well to create quite possibly my favourite scare maze to date!

Image from lukedysonphotography.org
 
 
 
And that's a wrap!  Here's to more gorious years of Fright Nights...I look forward to what next season brings...

The dreaded closed season. A time when the ride games return, the silly season occurs with people making the same jokes about Colossus being repainted or Rumba being rethemed. Just be glad the Intamin aquatrax joke hasn't reared its ugly head. I like to think of closed season as a time of opportunity, a start of planning trips for 2017 and I thought I'd just put together a few blogs to maybe, inspire.
 
Denmark.
A road trip around Denmark is surprisingly easy. Start your trip in Copenhagen which features Tivoli Gardens and easy access to the rest of Denmark follows. Along the way you can discover the fantastic Djurs Sommerland, the original Legoland and Farup Sommerland. If you so desire, visit Bakken which is easily my least favourite park in the whole of Europe.
 
Djors Summerland 
 
A park with two of my absolute favourite Intamin rollercoasters, this relatively small park in Denmark is a must visit. Along the way discover a topple-tower, a Gerstlauer bobsled and with a new rollercoaster in 2017, it's sure worth a visit.
 
Piraten

This fantastic Intamin mega-lite is a wonderful example of how you don't need to top 250 feet to be a decent rollercoaster. This air-time machine is genuinely one of Europes best rollercoasters. It warms up too an irresistible level the more it runs and must be ridden.
 
Juvelen

I have a lot of love for Juvelen. It was an absolute surprise on my visit From its twisty layout and head-choppers to the unexpected force of its second launch, it's a wonderful example of how a family rollercoaster can deliver so much more then just another thrill ride.
 
Tivoli Gardens
 
The thing with the Gardens is emphasis on wide open spaces and the beautiful scenery. Admittedly I visited in torrential rain but this doesn't dampen spirits.
 
Dæmonen

This tiny B&M is shoe-horned into the gardens and yet still packs a punch. Featuring three inversions, it is also one of B&M's shortest. It looks beautiful at night and with it's two train operation, queues are kept to a minimum. A sure-fire favourite.
 
Farop Sommerland
Towards the end of our trip, the final park was Farup which features a Gerstlauer launch coaster which despite some jerky moments, was a hit. The wooden rollercoaster Falken was also a hit, despite its slight oddness.
 
Lynet

 
Falken

 
I heartily recommend a trip to Denmark. Not only do you get some fantastic rollercoasters, you visit a culturally rich country with beautiful scenery (and beautiful men and women) as well as a country that truly caters for everyone. Whilst a trip here can be expensive, planning ahead and accordingly can really save you money. 
 
Thanks for taking a look, next time, the very exciting Italy.

Hi one and all, I am just a lurker here really so you probably haven't seen me around before.  I've recently returned from a trip I took to Phantasialand and have alot to share.   It doesn't take much to make an impression to me, and I feel like the impression Phantasialand makes is incomparable.     I hope, that it pretty quickly displays why it's my favourite park in the world.   I'm not one for just concrete and thrills. The immersion this place delivers is un matched by anything I've experienced or seen.   Everything feels so genuine and real.   I'm gonna stop blabbing on and let the pictures do the talking for a bit.          
  The park is breath taking. Unlike my home nations parks which seem to be descending steeply into decline, phantasia is maintained and propelled fantastically, with the recent addition of taron.   The ride itself is very mediocre. The ride has some insane ejector, but that's it.   It is one of the most unique steel's I've ridden, only comparable to woodies for me.   I love Phantasialand because they openly admit they embody their rides into areas. They design the ride with the area in mind, not the other way round.    There's no way the park would work if they worked the same way everyone else does. Their back to front attitude leads to some seriously immersive and breath taking theming.   The reason why I love this park so much is because each area takes you 1000's of miles across the planet within the space of metres, and it does it convincingly too.   This is my favourite theme park in the world, simply because it removes you from just that. It makes you a time & space traveller, like no where else can.   ]
thanks for reading (PS, my photo's don't do it justice. YOU HAVE TO VISIT!)

So to start the blog off, here's a joke
The Conservative Party
Anyway its sadly nearly Halloween, meaning the parks close for off season! 
So I guess its back to rocking back and forward in my room til march..

So I've reviewed a few events over Halloween, so I'm going to do some awards to recap my Halloween Season!
http://forum.maniahub.com/blogs/entry/812-alton-towers-scarefest-2016-review/
http://forum.maniahub.com/blogs/entry/808-screamland-margate-2016-review/
http://forum.maniahub.com/blogs/entry/804-thorpe-park-fright-nights-2016-review/
http://forum.maniahub.com/blogs/entry/803-tulleys-farm-shocktoberfest-2016-review/
Anyway.. BRING ON THE AWARDS
 
Best Theming/Costume Design
Honourable Mentions- Dead And Breakfast, The Cellar, Altonville Mine Tours
Winner- The Final Cut
What haven't I said about The Final Cut?
The theming is fab throughout, and the Sci-Fi costumes felt very well done.
Especially if you're a film buff like me, its fun seeing all the references to classic Sci-Fi Movies.
 
Most Improved Maze
Honourable Mentions- The Colony
Winner- The Big Top
The Big Top last year was admittedly a plane crash. At first even I didn't want to admit it.
The maze just did not work, the open spaces made scares a tad awkward, and it felt half-finished as well.
This year the maze seems like a whole different attraction, with some changes the maze now sits as one of the best in Thorpe's offering.
The maze itself feels much more frenetic, with the intense strobe section, to the well themed rooms towards the end.
 
Worst Maze
Dishonourable Mentions- Bloody Mirror, The Cabin In The Woods, Hellements, Donald Trump's House Of Horrors
Winner/Loser- Platform 15
After doing some run throughs of it recently, I've came to the conclusion this is the worst of the year..
Whats the point of having a long attraction if nothing happens for 90% of it?
It just drags on, and unlike The Colony for example there's not much to see for most of it..
The ending tunnel takes the cake for being the worst scene, its long, and you'll probably not see a actor!
The theming is OK, but a lot of the attraction is just nothing.. Nothing..
 
Most Original Concept/Theme
Honourable Mentions- Coven Of 13, The Final Cut
Winner- The Paradise Foundation
I love originality in scare attractions, it really sets a attraction apart from the rest, which is what The Paradise Foundation did!
The Paradise Foundation is a gore infested theatrical journey through a controversial surgical clinic.
Basically the idea is that the rich pay for the 'bliss' treatment, which involves the poor being surgically operated on to give there happiness for the rich.
The maze throughout has a lot of gore, including disgustingly disfigured costumes that actors wear.
The maze overall is something quite different to anything else I've done this Halloween.
 
 
Most Intense Maze
Honourable Mentions- The Paradise Foundation, Altonville Mine Tours, Chop Shop
Winner- Sub Species: The End Games 
Sub Species breaks the boundaries of what actors can do in a maze.
I was split up throughout, faced sections of the maze on my own, and was constantly manhandled and pushed by actors.
The maze has a intense crawling scene, periods of complete darkness, and had me on edge throughout.
 
Best Roaming Actors And Atmosphere
Winner- Tulleys Farm Shocktoberfest
The Atmosphere at Tulleys is unmatchable, with a range of brilliant roamers and two music stages, its really brilliant!
 
Best Scare/Halloween Event
Winner- Screamland Margate
This award was very tough to decide.
But I've decided Screamland was my favourite event of the season.
The great atmosphere, the four brilliant mazes, and the heavy load of creativity in the mazes is something special.
 
Anyway thanks for reading me ramble in this blog!
Have a spoopy halloween frens and fellow geeks
What events have you been to this Halloween?

This Blog Contains Minor Spoilers*
 
Screamland is a upcoming giant in the scare industry, and last year received rave reviews from scare veterans and the GP alike.
I personally have never been to Margate, so my whole night was a complete 'new experience' to me..Yup 
Especially the completely rundown city of Margate, and some "interesting" graffiti on some of the walls..
Anyway the event was a grueling Hour and a half drive, so was it worth it?
In short, yes..
Screamland was one of the best halloween events I've ever experienced, I'm not easily scared, but the event caught me off guard with some of the most
creative scares I've ever seen in a maze.
 
Bloody Mirror

Bloody Mirror was the parks mirror maze with a few actors..
Overall it was the shortest/weakest at the event, but it was fun for what audience it was aiming for.
I was a tad disappointed TBH, but the attraction is more of a good start to the event than anything else -3/10 or 100/10 if you have a big ego 
 
The Paradise Foundation
 
TBH this mazes concept and theme disturbed me before even entering the attraction!
Overall The Paradise Foundation is a well themed, theatrical, and terrifying experience!
First positive would have to be the actors hiding spaces, they really came from everywhere.
The maze itself is very disturbing, with a lot of the actors looking disfigured and the sets full of gore.
I'm not easily grossed out but some of the actors costumes where quite disgusting, in a good way!
My only negative comment I'd say about the attraction is the ending, its a cool concept but not effective as it could of been!
All in all- The Paradise Foundation was a brilliant maze which had our group on edge throughout the experience-9/10
 
The Final Cut Presents..They Came From Outer Space

The Final Cut was what I'd call perfection..
The concept was so brilliant, and so brilliantly executed.
The first half is reminiscent of a theatre, with popcorn being thrown everywhere!
The use of a inflatables was genius with the transition into the movies, and once into the film
The Final Cut goes crazy from that point on!
The maze has plenty of scenes involving Sci-Fi classics which where
both funny and scary in equal measures!
If that wasn't enough awesomeness for you.. I present the ending!
The ending involved a scary alien and a girl with a gun!
The ending was loud, unique, and left our group desperate for the exit-10/10
 
Dead And Breakfast- Murder Hotel

Dead And Breakfast starts right after the awesomeness of The Final Cut, And oh god was the first half brilliant.
Fag Ash Lil had our group in stitches with her fast-witted insults, She even called me a slag!
Once inside your chased by Lil's new man, who has a taste for flesh!
The maze had some beautiful sets, as well as some good theatrical scares making use of the brilliant theming that immerses you in.
Lil's new man seemed to be everywhere, and caused a threat throughout the attraction.
The attraction's finale was also pretty good, and was a good ending to a great maze-9/10
 
Festino's Forgotten Funhouse

I've experienced some great Clown/Circus themed mazes this Halloween, but Festino has to be the best clown maze I've ever experienced.
The creativity on this one was insane.
The hiding spaces for actors where very creative, and at points you see a prop, next minute that prop would start moving to realise its a actor!
The attraction's first half is very trippy and full of unique scares, and the second half was surprisingly theatrical!
To meeting a knife thrower to a Bearded lady was pretty fun!
The ending slightly disappointed me, mainly due to the absence of Pearlywhite!
But three actors with chainsaws held our group hostage in a cage for a few minutes, which made up for it!
The maze itself though was more fun than scary, but the maze's creative scares and scenes make up for that-8/10
 
Atmosphere/Roamer Actors
Overall the roamers where pretty great.
They weren't no Tulleys level, but I had some fun interaction with them.
Though the atmosphere was buzzing-8/10
 
Conclusion:
 
Screamland is a event which I recommend to anyone who likes scare attractions.
The event is nothing short of brilliant, and even though Scenic was unfortunately closed, I still had a blast!
 

I first visited Paultons Park in the mid 80's (ish) although the only thing I really remember is feeling hugely travel sick from the coach journey there.  Fast forward to 2010 when I took my next visit to the park - this was the year before Peppa Pig world opened and the park was heavily advertising it (understandably) - we actually queued for about 90 minutes to get a photo taken with Peppa Pig (or her annoying brother - not sure which) - I might add, this was because I was with my then 6 year old niece - I'm personally not a huge fan of Peppa Pig and find the programme highly irritating although it is massively popular with kids.  I had a fab day but left feeling light the place could do with a bit more on the side of theming.
 

 
I next visited in 2013, Peppa Pig world was open and very popular and the previous year the park had installed Magma, a drop ride (which also spins) - I hate drop rides with a passion (thanks to Detonator) but can cope with ones such as Magma which are fun and give you a floating feeling rather than one where your butt flies out of the seat and you hold on for dear life (if you're anything like me)
 

 
The theming on Magma is pretty good - you enter a volcano which has rumbling sounds and smoke/mist that goes off as the ride starts - I really enjoyed it and thought it was a great addition to the park

 
A couple of weeks ago I took a trip to Paultons Park for the first time in 3 years to check out the new area, Lost Kingdom which opened in May of this year.  I wasn't disappointed.  Paultons Park is a lovely place and you can see that they have invested a lot back into the park (take note CWOA).  The first thing that struck me was how clean the place was - I mean - REALLY clean - no rubbish laying around, no overflowing bins and it was so refreshing.
 
You can tell that Paultons really do care about their guests - there is no shortage of toilets which is always handy and they have loads of benches (I love that they say Paultons Park on them aswell - so much so, I took a picture of one - yes I'm odd) There are also LOTS of play areas for kids - including a splash area with fountains which I'm sure gets busy during hot days
 

 
Unlike Merlin parks where it can sometimes feel that they are trying to squeeze every last penny out of you, you don't get that feeling at this park - yes, they have those games where you throw a ball in a bucket to win a prize but the people manning these stalls aren't very pushy which is nice.  Food at drink are fairly reasonably priced as well.  Oh and you don't get stung for parking your car either.
 
Not only do Paultons have a variety of rides, the gardens are lovely and you can tell that the people who work on them take great care and pride in what they do.  They also have a variety of animals - including meerkats - and who doesn't love a meerkat?!
 

Just look at that face
 

 
OK - so if you are a hardcore adrenaline junkie who is looking for non stop thrills, this probably isn't the place for you - however I would recommend Paultons to anyone who is up for a chilled day with some decent rides - in my opinion a theme park doesn't have to be packed with inversion after inversion to be good.  There are no rides at Paultons which have inversions but it is still worth a visit - they even have a nifty little train (Rio Grande) that takes you on a small journey around part of the park - perfect if you want a sit down and chill
 

 
I really enjoyed the Lost Kingdom area of the park - the theming is fantastic and I was really impressed with what they had done.  The 2 main coasters, Velociraptor and Flight Of The Pterosaur are really enjoyable - more so than I thought they would be.  Oh and there are lots and lots of animatronic dinosaurs -
 

 
Prior to riding Velociraptor, I had never ridden a Junior Boomerang coaster before - and embarrasing as this is, I did actually scream - mainly on the backwards part as I don't cope brilliantly with going backwards (I only ever rode x:/nwo once because I came extremely close to chundering my guts up)
 

 
 
Flight Of The Pterosaur was a nice surprise for me - I didn't expect much if I'm honest but I thoroughly enjoyed it - it's full of twists and turns and again, the theming is fab - the thing I absolutely love are the restraints on the trains - because it is just a lap bar that you pull down over you it allows for a lot more freedom - it would be awesome if Vampire got these sort of restraints.  We rode on the back row, front row and in the middle - all give a great ride but I probably prefer front as I like to see where I am going
 

FOTP trains
 

FOTP station
 

We also rode the dinosaur safari ride which was surprisingly good even if it did start to rain a bit mid-way through.  We didn't go on Boulder Dash so I can't comment on that but the whole are is just really nice and fresh.
 
Because we visited on a really quiet day, everything was walk on and we were able to go on pretty much everything multiple times which was fab.  As well as The Lost Kingdom, Critter Creek is another themed area which is really bright and happy (is that the right word?!)
 

 
I really do love Paultons Park and although my niece has moved onto scarier rides, she also loved it when she was younger.  It is a true family park and I love that it is starting to get the recognition that it deserves.  This place has well and truly over taken CWOA in terms of theming and overall presentation/care etc.  Yes it would be nice if they were to add a couple of more thrilling rides but the way the park is going I think they are just going to get better and better. 
Although I have a MAP, I for one reaaaaally hope that Merlin never buy this place out - would hate to see it run into the ground.  To be honest, if I lived nearer I would consider getting a season pass but as I live over and hour away it isn't viable.
 
Another thing to mention is that the staff who I encountered during my visit were all extremely friendly and enthusiastic - which is nice to see.  The only criticism of the place that I would have is that it took us a while to get into the park as not all the turnstiles were in use and the ones that were seemed to take a while to get people through.
 
My personal favourite rides at Paultons would be - Flight Of The Pterosaur, Velociraptor, Cobra and Magma - I also quite like Wave Runner - it's pretty much Depth Charge (although for some reason I prefer Wave Runner and have no idea why).
 
Another thing to add is that Paultons Park have 2 similar rides to CWOA - The Edge (a disco-coaster - similar to Kobra) and Kontiki (similar to Griffins Galleon) but for some reason, Paultons have these rides on a much better setting.  I haven't actually ventured onto The Edge since my visit back in 2010 where my sister and her partner were taking bets on whether I was going to throw up (thankfully I didn't).  I put off going on Kobra at CWOA for a long time, thinking that it would be as intense and was really surprised when I first rode it as it felt a LOT tamer.  Kontiki is definitely a lot more intense than Griffins Galleon at Chessie - that also made me feel a bit queasy when I rode it a couple of years back (though I have to add that I have since discovered the wonders of anti-sickness meds)
 
 

Wave Runner
 

Critter Creek theming
 

Cobra car (Gerslauer bob sled)
 

Cobra
 

 
Great theming in Peppa Pig World
 

Double Decker Victorian carousel
 
 

Chair swing ride
 
 

The Edge
 
 

Raging River log flume - there is zero theming on this but for its size it offers a decent splash
 
 
And finally - I saved the best for last.....
 

 
Mr Fish disembarking the crocodile ride thingy in Peppa Pig World
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

2016 has certainly been one of my best years for visiting new amazing parks, being lucky enough to visit Europa Park, Liseberg, Paultons Park and Drayton Manor (I suppose). 
 
This September though, things would become even more fantastic as I was to experience my first time. The first time I would be visiting Phantasialand. This is a park I've been wanting to visit now for a longtime, hearing how flawless the theming and attention to detail was here and the quality of the rides; at least most of them anyway. 




Berlin street is certainly a magical entrance into the park (at least once you escape the main road directly outside). Especially once you walk past the grand carousel and intricate street with themed food outlets whilst listening to upbeat dramatic  orchestral music. It's almost like being in Disney.

2016 brings to the park a major new investment, Klugheim. A brand new themed area featuring two new roller coasters and two  new food outlets. 



The headliner attraction of the new area is Taron. A multilaunch coaster from Intamin. 





Taron is certainly an amazing looking attraction and rides as good as she looks. From the momentum of the first launch to the twists and turns amongst moments of ejector airtime through the articulated rock work straight into that second launch.
 
Taron may not quite be a Helix beater, but she is definitely a worthwhile addition to the park amongst it's tangled track, superb soundtrack right down to the brand new restraints which are significantly better to the Rita/Stealth ones. 
 
My only major criticism of the ride probably has to be the massive cattlepen, which resides at the back of the area and remains remarkably hidden. 

Raik is also a great junior boomerang and probably my favourite so far, putting Veloceraptor into a close second.
 


The main eatery Rutmoore's Tavern is a great place to go for lunch too and serves some decent hearty meals. I had a pork knuckle meal served with salad and potatoes which was of very good quality. Certainly of the best park eateries I've visited and maybe only second to Polle's and Food Loop.

Klugheim aside, there are plenty of other top quality attractions at Phantasialand. Including Chiapas, an amazing modern log flume with a steep drop, dark ride sections and superb theming.



Nailed it!


An amazing floor less topspin known as Talocan, which is almost like watching a show off-ride.
 
Black Mamba, a superbly themed B&M invert which beats Inferno but Nemesis (on layout st least). Can't believe I didn't take any (poor) pictures of it.

Colorado Adventure, a Vekoma mine train that features three lifts that never get boring. The forces from that twists and turns especially entering those tunnels is exhilarating to say the least.


Safe to say my photography is not always acceptable.

Winjas was a surprisingly good duel Maurer spinning coaster which features two tracks called Force and Fear. Fear was the favourite due to feeling longer as a whole.

Maus Au Chocolate, an interactive dark ride where you shoot guns throughout different scenes trying to stop mice from infesting a chocolate factory. The smells were nice too and guns far better than those blocky things on Tomb Blaster.


And no trip to Phantasialand would be complete without a ride on the classic River Quest. Honestly, these Rapids are crazy in the best way possible and make Rumba Rapids look like a slow carousel in comparison.

Mystery Castle has to be one of the most mysterious rides in the park. This castle structure hides a number of massive drop towers which shoot up and down completely enclosed in the tower. David and I got the longer cycle (we believe) whilst Lou watched as she doesn't like drop towers.

Better than Chessington.


One of the park's older rides is Geister Riksha, a Chinese themed ghost train attraction. It is pretty dated in parts, but definitely upheld much charm throughout the ride.

Amongst  the great theming and rides alongside it, the park's shows should not be ignored. We decided to watch the Ice Show which featured a college style theme. The costumes and mixture of music made for a great watch. 

Especially when one of the dancers seems to resemble TPM's very own Liam-T.

Whilst this place has so many good rides, it does have quite a share of not so good rides however, like this (supposed) splash battle, Wakobato.

This ride is so close to houses, you may as well be in their back garden.



Honestly, what's the point in this ride? You don't get wet, there's no scoring system, the theming is repetive. There is literally no point in this ride existing.


The Hollywood tour certainly hasn't aged well as is very dated in places. The Wizard of OZ and Kong sections really look worn and creepy in some ways too. 

Feng Ju Palace (theming aside) may be the worst madhouse I've been on so far. What's the point of that pre-show? It was honestly just like watching a boring stretched out version of Street Fighter. 

And Nighthawk, was just strange in one of the dullest ways possible. Three lift hills going around in complete darkness. Only real positives were the station looked nice and the lift hill lights were acceptable.





 
Final Thoughts
Phantasialand is a truly magical and immersive park, adding plenty of intricate between the different areas, whether that be the African or Mystery areas. Klugheim is well and truly an amazing area and certainly one of the best themed areas in Europa (let alone 2016). Taron is an amazing attraction and certainly the new signature ride the park deserves.
 
Of course like every park, there are down sides. For example some of the park's older rides are looking particularly worn and dated compared to it's recent stuff. Take Hollywood and Nighthawk for example, it almost feels a different park when you compare them to something like Chiapas or Maus Au Chocolate. However I've heard they are on the chopping block anyway. A nice modern dark ride or two and a modern dark ride coaster would fit this park perfectly.
 
The final question-does it beat Europa Park?
Phantasialand really did blow me away and is one of the most parks I have ever visited. Unfortunately though, it doesn't quite beat Europa Park (though it is close).
 
Europa for me is such a vast sized park that there's literally tonnes of things to do yet feels very relaxed regardless of busyness. The complimenting themed areas and its updates to rides new and old may also help it greatly here. Europa are also pretty relaxed when it comes to safety, to the degree they don't check every ride and allow filming (if equipment is secure).
 
At Phantasia, they are very strict on this, to the level where even Go Pros are banned on all rides including the likes of Maus Au Chocolate. As a result I was told off on the Hollywood ride, let alone a coaster. Rant aside, it's a minor set back, but at the end of the day I go to parks to get immersed and enjoy rides. Not make POVS or YouTube hits (even if it seems like it). 
 
To wrap this up, Phantasialand is a park everyone needs to visit. It has some greats rides and theming and is pretty easy to get too as well from Cologne Bonn Airport. Two days should be enough for most, but it could be stretched to three quite easily. 

Favourite ride of the trip. Taron of course.
 
 

Woah Woah Woah there friends!
 
Put down your pitchforks! Extinguish your flaming torches and disband that mob!
 
That title is what we call in the industry as "clickbait". A very clever way of getting people into a boring article with something shocking at face value,
Now where as most people include an image of female speed bumps to get peoples attention, I thought I would offer a thought provoking question...
 
How do you solve a problem like enthusiasts?
 
We are a great burden / privilege to theme parks. We think we know best, If a park does something right, we commend them and cheer them on!
However, this is the real world and quite a lot of the time choices made by other people are wrong! Horribly Horribly Wrong!
 
*Cough Cough*
 
Where was I...

Ah yes...
 
This thought of how do we solve this problem became more prominent after the recent news of certain enthusiasts behaving atrociously at the Bubbleworks Goodbye Party.
 

 
Enthusiasts shouting at staff to be on the last ride before it closes forever.
 
Now at first glance this just seems like some people wanting the bragging rights, "Guess who was the last on Bubbleworks!" sort of how we do it for ride openings, (3rd Public train of The Smiler and first public train of Galactica... Just saying )
But unlike ride openings, we don't have to put in effort to be the last to ride something, just turn up last and on you go rather than ride openings where those committed enough will be at the park before the staff, run to the ride as soon as the gates open and be prepared to live with the blood on your hands from those who stood before you!
 
However, there is a more personal connection to being the last on something, people who have grown up with Bubbleworks will have a very strong bond with the attraction, it still doesn't accuse the behavior but that behavior comes as a side effect of passion... And we are not the only ones!
 
Take football fans, we constantly hear of fights starting against team fans due to one beating another, and again I don't condone these actions but this again comes out of passion, they obviously want the team they support to win and unfortunately when they don't they behave in unusual ways as some don't really know how to react.
 
So what is my point? Enthusiasts want to be the last to complete there special bond with the ride, the be the last to share a memory with something so special to them. Now a morbid warning... the closing of a ride is a bit like the passing of a family member or relative. (Where am I going with this...) Some people feel more comforted being there in that persons last moment as that then means that there last moment with them was the last moment they had with that person. As weird as it may sound with rides, some people don't feel as connected if there last ride was a month before it closed, as it would have given a lot more memories out after you. It's pretty petty... but it's human nature.
 
Conclusion: How do you solve a problem like enthusiasts? You don't as they are what make theme parks great, and terrible and... what was my point again?

Well, this has been a hell of a long time coming, hasn't it? Partly because it's been sunny and I've had better things to spend half hour on, and party because I didn't really know where to start what with the park being so huge, and also because it seems I'm the last enthusiast on earth to get round to visiting so I don't feel I've got much to add on to what I'm sure you already know. Again I had tried not to spoiler myself too much, so other than the inescapable adoration for Woodan and Blue Fire I didn't really know what to expect from other attractions. I also didn't take many photos, a sure sign that I was too busy getting on with enjoying myself, so apologies for text heavy dullness ahead...
And so after a hell of a trek around a whole mountain due to a closed road, we hit the finale of the trip for two days at Europa. We had initially booked Pension Yvonne Sigg based on recommendations, but then cancelled that and went for Gastehaus Brigitte Duri for half the price. Not expecting a palace, we didn't find one, but it was clean, comfortable and, most importantly, close to both the park and hotels which could both be reached within a 10 minute walk. In hindsight I'd have payed any amount extra for a place with aircon as it was sooo damn hot for our visit. Parking seems to be a bit of an issue with a lot of these smaller places, so rather than have to shunt the car in and out repeatedly as people came and went we abandoned ours on the street where it didn't come to any harm.

Refreshments were needed, and there are plenty of bars and eateries near the park entrance away from the resort hotels, which all seemed decent quality, I'd especially recommend Mythos Greek Taverna and Altus Rasthaus. Rust, like all of Germany it seems, is a neat tidy place which maybe feels a little bit crammed in as everyone tries to make their Euros off the back of the park. Maybe we were unlucky with the weather or time of year, but the one big problem the town has (which they can probably do nothing about) is with mosquitoes. I've never known anything like it; being outside around dusk is just impossible, we were ravaged by the damn things which made trying to sleep in the stifling heat even more difficult.

 Anyway, the next morning with much excitement it was to the park. 

Greek beer in Germany, why not?
We used the app to purchase electronic part tickets which all went smoothly, and the app is a godsend for show planning and queue avoiding. Thoroughly recommend its use. While the exterior is currently a building site, the entrance to the park is a delight and we were welcomed with live music and a buzzing atmosphere. It's immediately clear the theming, scale, cleanliness and general perfection of the presentation is like nothing else. We made our way round at a leisurely pace for two long wonderful days.
We started with Silver Star. I don't know if this view is controversial, but it was the second big disappointment of the trip. It's just dull. Forceless. Lumbering. I don't know how they get so much height and speed to do so little, but excitement and airtime there are none. We tried it front and back, early and late. Nothing. It's not really themed in the same way as the rest of the park either so feels a bit out of place, although Mercedes the exhibit in the ride building is pretty good, and it was our first experience of the lighting fast operations not hindered by fastrack which made the small queue a continuous shuffle which went by in no time. But the ride itself is poor. 3/10

Yaawwwwwwn
Unfortunately while trying to find the entrance to Poseidon we accidently stumbled into a madhouse apparently called Cassandra which was also pretty crap. Maybe we are/were spoiled with Hex, but just walking into the room with no explanation just seems odd, then to have it programmed for the walls to start spinning straight over with no correlation with the movement or attempt to make it feel like it builds up to an inversion renders the whole exercise pointless. There's no illusion to it, 3/10.
Fortunately it turned out we had got the worst of the park out of the way, and it was all upwards from here, so I can stop seeming like such a grumpy old sod. Next we managed to find the entrance to Poseidon, which like all the water rides on our blisteringly hot trip unfortunately held a hefty queue most of the time, but it was worth the wait. The coaster element was a surprise to us and although pretty rough and jolty a lot of fun, especially the double dip at the end. Good long ride, refreshing splashdowns and such complete intricate theming it is just like driftin through actual Greece. 8/10

England boat ftw!
I'll leave it there for today, before we head into the general insanity that is Russia.

From there it was the longest drive of our trip, into the mountains to the small town of Todtnau. I'll start with a TopTip: If you visit Tripsdrill and your journey takes you right out of the carpark, beware; just before the first town the 70kph road suddenly drops to 30kph for no apparent reason and then raises to 50 kph after about 100 meters. The 30kph section has a speed camera which duly took my photo as drifted through it trying to work out what was going on, a month later I've had nothing through from the car hire company, so fingers crossed that's going to come to nothing! Sneaky speed cameras aside driving and roads throughout Germany are a delight, everything is so well maintained, clean and tidy, and just works. We had one short delay on the outskirts of Stuttgart but other than that the roads flow at speed and with ease.
 

Out of the car window 
 
Maybe it's just the route we took, but the whole area is stunningly pretty. Even the industrial areas looked neat, tidy and prosperous unlike the dives we have over here. Once in the mountains some of the roads are a bit precarious, but it's worth the trek once you are up there. We checked into guesthouse Lamm, which is just outside of town and took the short walk to a small selection of bars and restaurants at the base of the mountain for that evenings beer
 

Beer!
 
and a look at what the next day would bring
 

mountain! 
 
It's a lovely relaxing place place for a day or two
 

doesn't look real, does it? 
 
The next morning I was eager to get up that mountain for the main even, the mountain coaster. 9 Euros a pop includes your trip up on the chairlift and slide down the coaster. The views from the top of the town bellow and surrounding mountains are stunning, and for the less adventurous the chairlift can be taken as a round trip. Toptip: Don't forget you are up a mountain and the sun is different here, industrial strength suntan lotion required!
 

High
 
The ride itself was the highlight of the whole holiday for me. It's insane fun. As you are in control of your own braking you can have as wild or sedate ride as you like, so it really is for everyone. I tried to use the brakes as little as possible, my wife though was not pleased with this decision as we were going down together in one cart, and I only really applied them near the bottom to stop us smashing into the person in front. With barely any banking in the corners it really feels like it is trying to fling you from your little cart if you take them at speed, and the standard three point seat belt does little to make you feel secure, which all adds to it for me.
 

That's me, speeding again
 
I loved it and went up again, my wife less so and sat out go two. As it got a little later in the day the queue at the top built up to about 30 minutes, so try not to hit peak times if you can. TopTip: Chose your place in the queue wisely; you don't want to be getting on just after someone who is likely to be going down slowly, so get on behind teens and not a young family. If the ride is backing up a bit the op will let you wait at the top for a minute or two so you can get a clearer run.
 

if you are still speeding at this point you are in trouble
 
I can't put into words how much I loved this. I would recommend it to everyone. If you have any opportunity to do one of these then take it, it's an absolute must. I could have spent the whole day going up and down here, but we didn't, we went to look at some waterfalls instead.
 

pretty
 
A short drive out of the other side of town, the waterfalls are stunning and climbable from top to bottom if you are into that sort of pain. We were happy with more sedate wander through parts of it.
 

wet
 
And very nice it was too. Then by afternoon it was time to be off, drive out of the mountains, and on to the climax of it all. Europa Park! I'll leave you with what I think may be one of the best photos that has ever been taken. If ever a picture could sum up our differing feelings of an experience, this is it...
 

I did mention I didn't use the brakes!
 

Somewhere in the rural Hamptonshire countryside, lies a mysterious theme park. But this isn't any ordinary theme park, which is home to dinosaurs, Cobras, wonderful beasts and a famous animated pig (to name a few).

This is a park that is certainly on the up, investing in attractions that improve the park whilst retaining and complimenting it's character and values. It's a place so renowned for its greatness, legend has it adventurers have travelled to the depths of boots to witness it's golden gates.

WELCOME, TO PAULTONS PARK
 

Home to the weird and wonderful, like this raining tree.

For 2016, the park have invested at great lengths to bring us this wonderful prehistoric land through dedication of 8 million coins. It's well spent if you ask me.




One the main new discoveries of this new lost area is one of two coasters, Flight Of The Pteranosaur. A veto a family suspended coaster which dominates the centre of the world. The rock work theming is superb and of high quality.




And what a great family coaster this is. The coaster is great fun and interacts with the area superbly alongside a good proportion of theming. The end helix is also superb. As far as I'm aware the layout may be clone of another (maybe Grona's) but that doesn't take anything away from the ride which certainly looks to be a hit for the park.
 
It's the perfect fun thrilling coaster for the family.

 
Theming, with working animatronics.

The second new coaster is the Veloceraptor. Another Vejoma, but this time a boomerang style coaster like Ben10.

This is another superfluous coaster for the park and another fun ride. Whilst it doesn't beat Pteranosaur for me, I do prefer it to Ben 10 as this gives more a kick I think. 

But the area is more than just coasters though (listen Merlin). They also have one of these crazy fun spinning rides like the Crazy Taxis at Europa Park. This ones called Boulder Dash.

This small Triceratops coaster, which I didn't get chance to ride (  ). Fact, this ride isn't actually brand new and was rethemed into the new area. It used be known as the Flying Frog I believe.

They also have a Safari track ride too which is neat.




Some very good theming here too. It's great to see park put so much effort into something just like this whilst a number of others (not naming) are either ripping theirs out or leaving them to rot. Best car style attraction in the uk by far.

Theres also an interactive Dino show too, which is good to see the park not just focus on the ride side either. Plus there's some roaming dinosaur animatronics in the area too.

They even have an area shop which is themed to a good level also. They've also added a new food place and smaller flat ride to the area too. Certainly making one of the best themed areas in the uk.

Also in the park, resides my second home. Critter Creek.

The theming quality they have here has been done very well, especially for a park like Paultons.




And here is the Cat-O-pillar, which again has been rethemed into the new area. The theming again is fantastic, weird and wacky. The coaster was alright but not my favourite.


The area is also home to a random aquarium type place. For a park like this, it's a nice little walk through. 

The park is also home to Cobra, arguably their signature ride. 


The queue line was a little shabby (spilt mess in the queue and a few areas of chipped pant), but that can be forgiven for the moment. 


There is even a shed tunnel, and that isn't the best part.
 
Cobra is a really fun coaster and possibly my favourite ride at the park (either this or Pteranosaur). Two things to note about this ride are that it is a Gerstlauer, and an enjoyable one at that and that its 10 years old and was working fine. No lifeless structure here.

Speaking on lifelss, this ride was shut (at least when we went passed it) which was a shame as it looked fun.

They however have a Disko called The Edge (not Kobra) as Paultons know how to spell. This one is also run on a better setting too as you really get a good cycle. My only criticism are you were required to wear leg seat belts and mine was very tight. (Which ruined the experience in a way) and the ride doesn't feature much in terms of theming, but I'm sure that will be sorted one day.

The park also have a 4D cinema which features a fairly quirky but nicely themed facade outside (not cheap looking). The movie itself was alright, nothing amazing but was nice for a sit down and seemed entertaining enough for the guests. Its no Angry Birds but is good for what it is especially being the only undercover attraction so far.

The park even have a loverly grand carousel.

Featuring some loverly shrubbery too.

But the one thing park are famous for is Peppa Pig World, the investment (alongside Cobra) which have really helped the park develop in the last few years.
 
Sadly I didn't anymore photos here because my phone's camera reached capacity but all I can say is, it's a loverly themed area for the park's clientele and the park got the right balance with everything there too.
 
We only managed one ride in the area, that was Windy Castle. From the outside it looks like a little innocent spinning observation ride thing, think again! Peaj, Steve, Alex and I all shared one capsule and when you have no spin limits on a ride that also rotates upwards on a 4-5 minute cycle you're in for one hell of a white knuckle ride.
 
it was honestly crazy and ridiculous how crazily fast we were all going here and whilst it was hilarious to start with, I'm certain my thrill limit has been reached as it felt very painful and comftable towards the end of the ride and pretty nauseated for the tail end of the day too. Think this has put me off tea cups for the time being.

As much as things post 2006 have clearly marked the up for the park (moreso post 2010), there's still a fair few number of areas in the park that look bland and in need of an update.
 
one of these is the park's log ride which is pretty much an off the shelf Reberchon. Considering this ride isn't even 20 years old does show how superior their new stuff is now.

I could probably say the same for the Go Karts. I didn't try these either as I think there was an up charge.
 
that being said, there isn't a massive amount of upselling at the park. Considering I didn't see any HB leisure stalls or any posters trying to persuade me to buy a pass. Although the park exit is deliberately through a massive toy shop, that is more a tactical decision (and a cunning one at that).


But Paultons isn't just home to a decent selection of family rides. There's also a very reasonable amount of gardens and green spaces which help enhance a day here.




Which made for a really enjoyable day out that was enjoyed by all.

Unfortunately though Peaj was eaten by a giant hedge snake and hasn't been seen since. 
 
Paultons is definitely a loverly park and worth a visit. its a place that puts effort and dedication into everything they do. Whether that be building a giant new themed area, staff friendliness or keeping the place tidy (we saw someone pick up litter minutes after it was dropped). With the possible exception of Cobra's queue, everywhere was beautifully well kept with no signs of wear and tear anywhere and a good atmosphere throughout.
 
The future for the park is bright and seeing the massive improvements they've made in the last few years (each one better than the last). All they need to do is build a proper flume and add a dark ride and they will then have a perfect full lineup. Whilst the park have little to nothing in terms of merchandise, I think they have it right by housing a massive toy shop at the exit which will no doubt be blissful joy for many of the kids (and a nightmare for many of their parents). 
 
Chessington step aside. This is what a family park should be. Jump in the boot and let's go!

Can I have your attention please, due to some people climbing the lift hill the ride is currently unavailable. 

We have E-Stopped the ride, padlocked it and thrown away the key! 

And left the trains stranded.

On Colossus, each wheel unit is inspected heavily every seven days. Fact

Colossus is dirty, also fact  

GEEK SHOT!

And up we went! Trying to be all artsy but the ride was sinking which made it hard (fact! They blast air into the ground to stop this)

I love the shots you get from these walks! Plus the VIP hosts are always lovely!

The chain is actually huge. I always forget how huge

The lift hill wobbles a lot too, which adds a great thrill element!

Noisy antirollbacks

Saw facts! The ride didn't have the lift system in place to evacuate at first, this was something Thorpe helped design with Gerst and is known as the Thorpe Amendment and is now used on all post Saw eurofighters

There is also a hawk noise effect that sounds every 20 minutes. This was put in to try and scare off the pigeons. It doesn't have that effect, but the sound effect still works!

London skyline just about

The engineers decided to run a train on Inferno. For the fun of it clearly

Hey Swarm!

Sun breaking through and Ghost Train shed! Few things on it.
 
They have a 6 year contract with DB then it will be reviewed. It's cost can't be published yet as it isn't finalised as they're still paying for all the delays, tweaks etc they're having to do. It initially was set out to be £25 million ish, it's more now due to the issues and could keep rising till next year! They also built a cherry picker into the building not on purpose. Good job. It can join Smiler's one.
 
Other bits: IAC is on a 3 year contract so runs out end of 2017, possible retheme for 2018 attraction. Next year is probably a flat ride of some sorts. They have begun weight testing on the island behind Swarm for the next big ride and working on the plans. A coaster seems to be most likely apparently. AB contract is also up sometime soon but they want to keep that one, especially as the film got okay reviews! 

Read and learn guys

Night night Colossus!
 
Next time... Florida  

Another early start for the longer journey to the second park and accommodation of the trip, trippsdrill. I'd recommend staying closer to this park than we did; it's in the middle of nowhere and the pretty long journey was a bit arduous before a long day on the park, especially as much of this was on winding roads with junction after junction. TopTip: You need a good map or satnav to get here; the road signs are sporadic to say the least with many junctions left for you to guess at.
 
Tripsdrill is properly German, with little to no concession made for non German speakers. All adds to the fun, but there were a couple of times we found ourselves entirely unable to make ourselves understood, which is of course because of own ignorance and not their fault at all. The first time this becomes apparent is using their online booking for the treehouses and wagons which is entirely in German, and even using google translate for the documents sent out I couldn't find a way to actually pay them. I emailed them requesting someone phoned me back which they and it worked out fine, but I've since noticed they can be booked on booking.com, which is probably a lot easier.
 
It was another term time weekday, and another largely empty park. Again I had very little expectation, knowing virtually nothing about the place. Again I loved it.
 

Pretty
 
A working vineyard set in largely unspoiled rolling hills, it's something of an understatement to say the place is picturesque. The grounds are well kept with everything feeling clean, fresh and vibrant, it's the sort of place you'd be happy to be at not riding anything. The park is split into two distinct areas of old and new, with the old world being tightly knitted together surrounding the entrance with more traditional attractions, and the new area of bigger thrill rides in a separate more spacious area. This seems to work really well having both styles without them jarring against each other.
 

See, pretty.
 
Staggered opening gives you the first hour to explore the old world before the other side opens. I gather it is designed to depict a traditional German way of life, and does so in a charming way with little automated and interactive scenes in what I presume to post humor which was entirely lost on us and our Englishness. Some of the more traditional rides like spinning barrels tranquil boats are intermingled with fun little diversions like funhouse style moving walkways. There's also the downright bizarre with the likes of the armory, an admittedly impressively huge display of old guns and weapons that you can not imagine sitting in a UK family theme park. There's a few flats too, all well run and again looking so well maintained. TopTip: No-one is going to check your restraints here, sit down and strap in as it's on you if you come flying out! Some rides are run with one op between two, who is only paying attention to the loading and off loading of the stationary ride and not the one which is actually running! I love that tbh, Germans a clearly less dumb than us Brits..
 

Tilting treehouses of doom
 
The highlight of this area for us was the wine museum and cellar, a cool dark underground bar where Tripsrill's own wine can be sampled along with a good few others from the surrounding for a couple of Euros a glass. Could have spent many hours in there hiding from the 100 degree plus heat outside, it's so nice finding somewhere so genuine in the fake world of theme parks, and we spent longer in there than we probably should have! The elderly man behind the bar was so helpful and clearly very knowledgeable of the wines, we had a great time with him trying to converse in his very broken English and he seemed to love trying. Oh, and the wine glass is free and to keep! TopTip: Even if you're not a drinker pop in with your park ticket and collect your glass. Free merch!
 
Over to the 'modern' side and first up was unfortunately one of only a couple of disappointments of the whole trip. Mammut is wood. I like wood. I like wood a lot. So inevitably it was what I was hoping to be the highlights of the park, but it is anything but. Slow, dull and uninspiring, it rattles along in an annoyingly pointless way achieving very little. It looks like it's a decent size and and has points which look like they are there to provide some airtime, but the speed it goes round none of it amounts to much. 
We rode a few times, front and back and hoping it would warm up later in the day, but no. 4/10
 

Disappointment 
 
On to their newest coaster, I didn't too expect much from Karacho based mostly on me not being much of a fan of the other original Infinity coaster The Smiler. This is such a better coaster than that; glass smooth track, fun little indoor section, powerful rolling launch, interesting varied layout with some great moments climaxing in a two suburb inversions with the dive into and roll out of the tunnel, all in the extreme comfort of those lapbars in the stylish trains. It's just sooo much fun, everything the Smiler isn't. I know they are not trying to achieve the same thing but this being the same type built by the same people at the same time shows how much better you can do by not chasing gimmicks and building something good and solid instead.
 

Look, I told you it was pretty.
 
I rode many times and didn't even begin to get bored of it. I also got  bonus bit of geekery when they swapped a train over just as I was boarding, seeing the transfer track disappear into the false wall of the far side of the station and watch the poor staff push the trains back and forth as this track isn't powered.
 

Actually Smile. Always.
 
I like Rage a lot, but why our other (read Merlin) Geursts are so poor in comparison I do not know. It's a shame. Karacho was another massive hit for me on this trip. 8.5/10
 

One of these is enjoying it less than the others
 
Also over this side are some really fab rapids, with a much better lift and loading system than we have over here, decent length and a good amount of rough water and wetness in strange bendy boats which feel disconcertingly top heavy. Probably one of the better rapids I've ever been on, 8/10. A good mouse/bobsleigh type affair interacts with a brilliant flume including a backwards section and an unexpected nude spa float through. Mental. The flume was the only ride to hold a proper queue all day, I can only asume it's those kids wanting a titillating glimpse of latex nipple.
 

 
Overall we had a wonderful day. It's not perfect, but then nowhere is. I'd hate for the place to lose its German-ness, but I don't think that would be spoiled by some English and French on the museum type exhibits which line the queue lines, their splashbattle type affair is useless, and we weren't allowed on a couple of the kids rides (boo) and the park map isn't up to much. But I was smitten with the place, I implore you to go if you get the opportunity.
A short stroll in the evening sun back to the wildlife park to us to our slightly unusual accommodation for the night...
 

I've wanted to complete my BelGerAnd2 "trip report" for a while, mostly for sake of completion, but I've really struggled to figure out what to say about Phantasialand.  It's easy to sing the praises for the park, and most of those praises would see me reiterate myself.  So let's get those out of the way...
 
Maus au Chocolat and Chiapas are the perfect examples of how to a shooting dark ride and water ride respectively.  Black Mamba is a great coaster that really turns into a beast in the afternoon, and Winjas is a fine example of how to blend coaster and 'other' elements into one ride.  Colorado Adventure is a neat little family ride, though nothing *that* special in my books.  River Quest is disgustingly terrifying and yet amazingly fun, and the new theming it's received thanks to Klugheim is great (though I wish they disguised the lifts a bit better).  The Berlin area is generally fab too.  The park's general atmosphere, theming, sense of showmanship and storytelling is surely one of the best in Europe.  
 
And, in an unusual twist for me, I'll focus a bit more on the negatives...
 
Mystery Castle
I honestly do not get the fuss over this ride.  I went into it last year with no real idea of what to expect and was left disappointed.  Though after hearing there's 2 cycles, one of which is not great, I was left with a glimmer of hope.  But this year, I realised that what I had previously experienced was in fact the 'good cycle', and I had the joy of experiencing the not-so-good one.  Disappointed is probably the best word that describes my feelings about this.  Underwhelmed also springs to mind.  But at least the queue is fantastically themed!
 
China
Though the China area looks good, the two dark rides (a madhouse and omnimover) are far from good.  The madhouse is definitely my least favourite one I've been on, and the omnimover is more outdated than anything else.  The trouble these rides have is that whatever park they were in, they would only ever be 'okay' or 'passable' at best, and so their quality - or lack of - sticks out like a sore thumb in Phantasialand.  I know not everything can be sorted out all at once and these are on the potential hit list, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable.
 
Temple of the Nighthawk
Jack and Matt seemed to adore this because of the new music it has.  But I still found it awful and boring and just generally a waste of space.  Again, it's another ride like the Chinese duo; it's lack of quality sticks out so badly within the park.  And, unlike China, it feels slightly forgotten and neglected, almost as if the park are just waiting to axe it.  
 
Operations
Perhaps a bit of an odd one, but one thing I noticed during our visit was that some of the operations weren't great.  Not really talking about throughputs or getting through the queues here, moreso how they dealt with them generally.  Queue times weren't that accurate (especially on the not-so-big rides) and queue boards weren't updating properly (the boards were advertising a 6pm close for a few hours when it was in fact an 8pm close, leaving some confusion).  And when one of the Winjas coasters closed, they still allowed the queue to split, creating confusion in the queue and havoc in the station area.  Something that should have been dealt with better, especially since the side that did close seemed to have a problem which didn't have a quick solution.
 
 
Klugheim
Not to leave this blog post on a negative note, let's talk about Klugheim.  It's reason enough to make the effort to go to Phantasialand.  Taron might not be everyone's cup of tea, and it might not break into everyone's Top 10, but I can see it being appreciated by almost all of the enthusiast community (and the general public as well).  Raik is a solid family coaster, and Klugheim in general is a fantastic area to explore.  Oh, and the staff uniforms for that area are just incredible.
 
Also, much to whole group's excitement, we got to (albeit briefly) speak to Chris, one of the park's managers who was seen in build up videos to Klugheim's opening.  He was a super nice guy, and he let us queue up for front row on Taron at the end of the day, despite them closing the front row queue.  Only wish we had more time to talk to him because he genuinely seemed so passionate and excited about the coaster when we saw him in the station area; very hands on too!
 
 
I really hope that despite my laziness in writing this up, and focusing a bit too much on the negatives, the absolute joy I had at Phantasialand is still shining through somehow.  Yes, there's a couple of niggles and a few rides that are getting past their shelf life, but recent investments indicate that when they kick the bucket, something incredible will come in its place.  I genuinely cannot wait to go back, and I really hope more and more people but Phantasia on their radar!

With GeForce getting us on to a high it was in to the rest of the park to see what it had to offer, and it turned out there were a couple of other stand out bits.
First up was something else I had little expectation of having not done the type before and thinking they looked awkward and a bit cheap and nasty, Premier Rides Sky Rocket Sky Scream.
 

Hanging
 
Again I was wrong and I loved it. The launch is fast and smooth, I think this was my first rolling launch and it's a fantastic feeling being given that boost backwards and forwards, and the coaster above a whole lot of fun. As the ride twists from inside to outside the track at the top it really whips you away from you seat but even with the slow inversion and tight maneuvers on the way down it's all very comfortable with the lap bar nice and snug.
 

A beautiful mess
 
The walk through (thankfully not 'queue' in our case - I imagine the throughput on here is its biggest downfall) before the ride is well done too, great theming. TopTip: The coaster feels very similar from the front to the back, in this case the view from the front probably makes a bit of an extra wait worthwhile. Real good fun, a solid coaster. Certainly wouldn't mind one of these making there way over here sometime soon. 8/10.
 
Then my favorite discovery of the whole trip that I'm sure won't be new to most here but it was to me. The perfect flat ride that is a Gerstlauer Sky Fly. It can be all things to all guests; while my wife was happy gently rocking away I could spin and spin like a mad thing, pulling what must be incredible sustained forces, in absolute comfort. I could spend the whole day on this. If I went all Michael Jackson with some rides in my back garden this would absolutely be top of my buy list. 
 

Getting going
 
It's in what will be a nice area, with a little balloon ride already open and a couple of other small round rides of some sort currently being built, all on a flight theme. This will be the star though, and was the only thing with a (still small) queue in the whole park. I got myself spinning nicely, probably strung about 20 together in one sustained spin, but when it starts to feel like it might be a bit much it's very easy to bring it under control give it a little break then flip it over and off you go again. TopTip: the front outside seat (2nd row) is the easiest to get spinning.
 

I'll be the upside-down one
 
Hours and hours of fun. The only limit to there being one in every park is the throughput. I wonder if it'd be possible to have one with seating all the way round before lifting and tilting? Anyway, this is now my favorite flat ride by a mile. 10/10
 
The a whole are which shouldn't have been for us, but is so well done we loved it. The kiddies area based on a bunch of characters I've never heard of was brilliant, not just the fabulous colourful and complete theming, but the rides themselves for kiddies fare are excellent. The ride ops didn't seem to mind that we were a couple of adults squeezing ourselves in and were quite happy laughing at us. As Benin might say, don't care, got creds.
 

Bouncing frog of crazy
 

Yes, I'm on a grasshopper. And what?
 
We ate in this area too, a burger restaurant in the middle of the land was good quality and value. A couple of other eateries we saw around the park appeared prety expensive in comparison. TopTip: all drinks bottles have a deposit added when you buy and given back when you return, this is standard across Germany. We didn't know this, and threw away a few Euros worth before a helpful staff member told us.
 

Flying high in the land of creds
 
All reminiscent of Peppa Pig land in what it is doing, but on a larger scale and with better rides. The drop tower and frog carousel (same ones as at Europa) are genuinely brilliant, so much fun, but there's loads of little rides and not a duff one between them. Certainly worth a visit if you are an adult on park and presuming this is recent shows the they really are going the right way with their theming efforts and general quality. 8/10
 
Once a day off peak, the WaterSki Stunt Show does its thing on the lake. As always with these things presenter faff to stunt ratio is way off, especially when that faff is incomprehensible to my English ears, but that said this was fun and it was pleasing to know that the Germans main opinion of the French is that they smell a bit. Maybe we're not so different after all.
 

Casually watersking with no skis
 
Some of the stunts really were spectacular though, and a bit of pyro is always nice, so we really enjoyed it. But it could have done with 15 minutes of presenter being lopped off its running time, and even that would still leave a lot of presenter. Bonus points for not giving the tiniest crap about health and safety (if I had stood up at one point I would have been kicked in the head by someone on a zip wire flying above me!), this sort of entertainment is what is most sorely missing from UK parks. Bring it back! 7/10
 
Aside from that there's a good solid support ride line up, couple of spiny rides running well, rapids and nicely themed flume both decent without setting the world on fire. A lighthouse tower that as far as I'm concerned can do one along with all the others ever made, pleasant little boat ride etc. A little museum on the parks history was interesting, although there was no English translations it appeared to show one old exhibit where you could come and look at the dwarfs, living in a little train! Times have changed. Even with the lack of dwarfs to look at these days there's still certainly enough to do to while away a whole day.
 

Standard boat-ride selfie
 
It's not perfect though. The whole right side of the park from SkyScream to the kids place feels really tired and in need of attention. The PhantomPhantasia-a-like ghost train is dire really, especially when ridden a few days apart from Europa's take on the same thing, and the carousel is horrible, really dilapidated and deeply coated in grime. Worthy of special mention, just up the path to Sky Scream in the most jarring extremes of quality is Hollys Wild Autofart or something. A particularly awful and out of place wild mouse. Horrible theming, rattly horrible ride. Looks so cheap compared to the more recent additions/re-themes and the quality of the park as a whole. 1/10 - burn it. These things only really stand out as the newer stuff really is very good.
 
Overall I was very impressed with Holiday Park as a whole, am glad I went and would certainly return. It was a short drive back to Speyer for an inevitable couple of beers before another early start the next day, off to the second park of the trip...

The first day proper began with a short easy drive to Holiday Park of about 15 minutes, Speyer really is an ideal base for a visit here. On a term time weekday with the Germans all tucked up behind their desks somewhere we were greeted with a practically empty park and some rather generous 09:00 - 18:00 opening hours.
 

 
Arriving a bit early we were let through to the little holding plaza where the two pathways into the main park were held with barriers, while some of the few people waiting played in the great dancing fountains. Looming over the entrance is the drop tower, but no-one cared; nearly everyone was crowded around one of the two pathways jostling with anticipation. A check of the map confirmed what I suspected - this was the pathway (TopTip, it's the left one, get to the front and just follow the path) to the main attraction, Expadition GeForce. We dutifully joined the mini scrum and at the stroke of 09:00 were on our way...
 

Big FM Expedition GeForce, to give it its full annoyingly sponsored title
 
Before we made our trip I had deliberately not spoilered myself too much with individual rides and, as much as possible while still wanting to plan effectively, whole parks. I didn't know much about Holiday Park or anything there, other than that GeForce existed and was consistently rated as one of the best coasters in the world. I didn't have the highest hopes for either to be honest; a couple of times it was said to not bother with Holiday Park at all and go elsewhere instead, and as for GeForce being one of the best I had seen it derided as massively overrated many many times. I'd also seen POV's of it and thought it looked pretty average too. 
 

Anticipation...
 
I was wrong. Everyone doing it down was wrong. If it is over hyped and overrated it is by the tiniest of margins; it really is one of the best. The first drop is great, but it is really only the means to gather the momentum for the ejector chaos which is to follow. The second hill crest is one of the best moments on any coaster anywhere, the attempt it makes to fling you from under your little lap bar is extreme and sustained like nothing else, followed by a couple more similar but less violent and more sustained peaks. Every moment of it is fast and fun; the right to left on peak transition change halfway through whips you through spectacularly, the bunny hops to the finish are taken at a perfect floaty speed. As is nearly always the case, back is best. TopTip: The front row queue line is actually for the front two rows, and when you get up there everyone wants to ride the actual front row, obviously, so the wait for that is even longer than it looks. This even held quite a queue when the rest of the ride/park was walk on. Just don't bother, why wait longer for less good? 
 

Joy (sweaty man in red, if you weren't sure)
 
It's safe to say I rather enjoyed it, and with it being walk on even on single train operation I whored the hell out of the back rows towards the end of the day. Lost count of rides, easily in the double figures and I left the park with some pretty heavy thigh bruising, but it was well worth it. First coaster of the holiday and it's unexpectedly straight in the top 10, put me in rather a good mood for the rest of the park and the rest of the trip.

My lack of having visited Europa had been hanging over me for far too long, so it was decided Germany had to happen. Not wanting to go all that way without seeing any of the country or other nearby parks, a plan was made to add Holiday Park, Tripsdrill and a mountain coaster to the week long trip. A plan which was made largely guided by trip reports and advice from the lovely members here and on TowersStreet, so thank you all, and I’ll try and include some bits which might help other thinking of doing similar.
With Stanstead to Baden-Baden flights booked at the stupidly cheap Ryanair price of £32 return, a car hired for the very reasonable £150 from Europcar, and accommodation booked for each night, myself and the Mrs headed off on our little adventure to southern Germany…
 
Firstly, I was really impressed with Ryanair. We'd never used them before, just out of circumstance not snobbery, but I probably preferred it over Easyjet for general ease of travelling with them. Shame about the nauseating iluminous yellow headrests inescapably glowing in your eyes. Europcar were also very good; the internet is full of people claiming to have been ripped off by them (and practically every car hire company it seems) with hidden charges and claims of phantom damage being charged, but all went smoothly for me with the invoice following me home for exactly the amount I was expecting. Top Tip: buy excess insurance in the UK for about £20, don't take the excess waiver policies that do exactly the same for 10 times that amount with the hire company.
 

The beast. (That's the car, not me)
 
And so with the mighty 1.1 purring with anticipation at my toes, it was to the Autobahn to try not to get killed. I found driving in Germany a pleasure in general; the roads are very well maintained, clearly signposted for directions and far less crowded than here in the UK. Everyone knows how to drive on multiple carriage way roads (ie, if you are not overtaking something, get the hell out of the way) so it all works rather well. Some things to look out for include:
- the lack of speed limit signage (you'll often get one as the limit changes, but there are no 'repeaters' as we have here, so you have to notice and remember)
- speed cameras are grey and hidden to catch you rather than warn you
- on autobahns you really have to watch the speed of those coming up behind when you look to move out for an overtake. It's easy to glance in your mirror at a small speck, go to pull out and notice it's already up with you doing 200mph, when we are used to everything doing roughly similar speeds.
- on smaller roads merging traffic often has right of way over what appears to be the main carriageway, but not always, and confusingly there aren't always any road markings (which I could decipher) to warn you which way round it is. Everyone else seemed to know what was going on, but not me. Only one near miss but be cautions!
- when roads are closed, that's your problem. No diversion signs!
TopTip: this might be obvious, but I hadn't thought about it, your phone needs data for satnav, so buy a roaming package before you leave rather than having German Virgin Mobile faff like I did.
 

This paper saved my life a few times. So simple but effective.
 
We headed off to our first destination of Speyer, about an hours easy drive from the airport for a place giving relatively easy access to both Holiday Park and Tripsdrill. Arriving in the early evening there was no hint of a rush hour on the roads despite us driving through the peak time. We stayed at Hotel Am Wartturm which was very nice and good value, close to the motorway exit so avoid any driving though town stress and about 20 minutes stroll though a strangely beautiful graveyard. We slung the bags in the room and took that stroll to what is one of the most important moments of any trip...
 

...the first beer
 
Speyer is a beautiful place. Like everywhere in Germany it seems immaculately kept, with beautiful architecture and a relaxed but busy vibe with bars and eateries lining the streets, all seeming to be good quality, with people out drinking and being happy without anyone ever being rowdy. If you tried the same set up on the streets of the UK it would be carnage. We took in a few bars and a restaurants for a lovely evening, but didn't want to go crazy and spoil the theme park fun that was to come with a hangover.
 

Cultured cathedral shadow drinking
 
Although we were there for two nights and had a good look round (the bars, primarily!) both evenings, I wish we had allowed ourselves more time to spend in the town itself, spend some time there during the day. I've heard good things about the Technik Musium there too, one for next time.
 
So nice and sensibly early to bed ready for the excitement of the next morning, when this supposed theme park trip report might actually make it to a theme park...

Fellow mortals. If you are reading this, it means I have literally just returned from a preposterous trek within the vicinity of the most dangerous place on Earth...Skull Island.
 
...but of course for the most technically-minded (and gullible) of readers, this is only my report from my recent trip to Orlando.

 
No sooner than I arrived had I had an unexpected encounter with a mysterious creature. One of Skull Island's deadly inhabitants?

 
Anyway, the call to adventure was nigh. But in order to get to Skull Island I had other adventures to attend to...

 
...such as requesting some backup at Skull Island from a childhood superhero (but in all seriousness, The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman is quite spectacular).

 
...until finally...I FOUND IT! I knew I had struck gold and now it BECKONED me!

 
...Kong himself in particular

 
No other soul had DARED venture into this unforgiving realm...hence this very conveniently placed sign.

 
In case you haven't already guessed, Skull Island is HUGE!

 
Almost as huge as this rather innocent looking castle next door.

 
I heard Kong can fight a pack of dinosaurs. Does this include dragons???

 
Anyway, to cap this all off, here's my review on Skull Island: Reign of Kong

 
...This gets a 9/10 from me. Spectacular ride experience, incredible amounts of detail along with a pretty decent queueing experience. Definitely worth the queue time.
 
But that's not all! I leave you with my total ride count.
 
Islands of Adventure:
The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman: x5 Dr Doom's Fear Fall: x2 Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls: x1 Jurassic Park River Adventure: x3 Forbidden Journey: x4 Flight of the Hippogriff: x1 Dragon Challenge: x2 (Chinese Fireball: x1, Hungarian Horntail: x1) Hogwarts Express: x1 Poseidon's Fury: x1 Skull Island: Reign of Kong: x2  
Universal Studios:
Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit: x2 Revenge of The Mummy: x2 Transformers: The Ride: x2 The Simpsons Ride: x2 Men in Black: Alien Attack: x1 Escape from Gringotts: x2

As we know, Walibi Belgium and Holland got new Mack's this year. Both new types of Mack's. 

This is what Belgium asked for.

It's really grand.

Has a spectacular splash

It's really cool


And there's a cool turntable to improve throughputs and just be cool! Queue was cool too!
 
So that's what Walibi get when they ask for a ride (and Mack are the company that choose to do it).
 
Don't know what you want? Then roll up, today is your lucky day as Mack now offers mystery box rides! They'll tease the park over snapchat what they're building and just not think one bit. So what did Holland get from their mystery box?

A loss of gravity. Seems like a great deal.

Mack had some spare yellow and black track pieces floating in their yard and hoped it would all fit together

And even though some of it doesn't look like it should fit together

It all does

Woosh. Now, because Walibi didn't know what they were getting, when they built the exit paths they had to slant these arches, or Mack told them it was necessary. Mystery box fun! 

They also had some shipping containers that were cluttering the yard

And a broken set of these

And the cars are too wide for the track. Mystery box risks you see

Fancy a Mack Mystery Box for your park? Then send a ? and your budget to sales@mackmystery.com

Beware, they may cause you to drink in hope it'll ease the mind confuddling caused.
 
Next week we'll go see some cobras, dinosaurs and critters  
 

Phantasialand is a stunning park. Up there was one of my favourites, and definitely my favourite non Disney/Uni park. 

Look at the stunningness. Everything is just so well done. Immersion is great. Rides are fab. Like Maus Au Chocolat. It just has so much magic going for it! Midway Mania sounds tacky compared to this. The fun house down Berlin street is odd for a theme park but great. 

Destroyed Josh on our second go as well  

It's a beautiful park.

And the most well known top spin lives here.

And a solid, well themed B&M. Mamba is an odd case. In the morning near the front it was lame. In the afternoon after some rain at the back it was top 10 contender. But it lacks consistency soooo much! For more park photos see last years report as nothing has changed. Winjas is still awesome. Nighthawk now has music, Hollywood boat tour still looks like it could have the scenery collapse at any moment. Wakabato was just avoided. Still don't get Mystery Castle, had an even shorter cycle this year! River Quest is hilarious. Mad house is an odd theme. 
 
KLUGHEIM

The area looks great!

Intimidating yet deceiving as it's almost on level with the path.

Looks like a village in a rocky mountain with a coaster.

Woosh

Watching the coaster fly all around you in the area is great

And Raik which is so much fun with a brill station.

This second launch makes one of the coolest sounds I've heard from a ride ever


It winds all over the place.

WIth a love of design, engineering and sheer immersion it was great to meander about.

But that's it really.

The queue moves fast and has a geeky view of the transfer track.

But what about the ride?
 
Well, Jack Josh and Matt knew when we came off first time it hadn't wowed me. I wasn't really joyous by what I just rode, I was quite mellow. I mean, there was nothing wrong with it. At all. Just, nothing made me go OMG. I love the dive into the second launch and up past the waterfall. That's the only thing that still sticks in my head. It felt like there were lots of lul moments, then crazy, then lul. But I don't feel it flowed in the right order to make a stunning ride. It's not a top 10 for me. Probably not a top 20. But that doesn't mean it's bad. It is a good fun ride, has created a hugely themed area secluded from the park. It is spectacular to watch, wander the little village with Taron roaring overhead. But the ride isn't standout in my eyes. For the next level of theming yes, as a ride, no. It is a solid ride that will do well against time. It won't be a fad. As long as it doesn't get Intamin rough, it'll always be a good ride. It also got me thinking though, why does every new ride these days have to seemingly be a top 10 ride or the next best thing. What's wrong with just building a good solid coaster that no one will dislike. I guess you could see it as Inferno in a way. Nothing special, but a ride that is always liked, pretty popular and serves the park extremely well. So yeah, Taron. Good.
 
Now Chiapas however is special.

A gorgeous ride

Now with it's weird issues sorted so you can sit properly.

Wacky ride.

Crazy drop

But a fun theme! Great music throughout, lighthearted nature, doesn't soak you so is always enjoyable. Definitely my favourite flume type ride, sorry Dudley's.
 
Intamin will sell lots of these once they're confident it won't have multiple issues again. And Taron too, I'm sure they'll sell more launchers now with the new trains. 

Go to Phantasialand! 9/10 park at least.
 
In more serious news.

If anyone spots Josh, please inform Phantasialand. He is currently trying to rip of the Chiapas rave room somewhere in Monchengladbach. That way he'll get banned  

Walibi Holland was the only new-for-me park of the trip, and there were two obvious draws for visiting:  the new Mack coaster Lost Gravity, and Goliath, the Intamin mega coaster.  We seemed to get lucky with our visit, as the park was very quiet, and we didn't queue over 15 minutes for anything if memory serves me correctly.  Overall impressions of the park are quite mixed for me; there's some great attractions around the park (and of higher quality to Walibi Belgium's offerings), but there's still a fair amount of trash about that makes it difficult to praise the overall park too much.  Anyways...
 
Xpress:  Platform 13
Located by the main entrance to the park, but before the 'containment gates' into the main bulk of the park, this opened up at least 15 minutes before the park opened.  And my god, this was a massive gem, probably the biggest surprise of the whole trip.  The coaster itself is almost a clone of Rock n Roller Coaster (I haven't done RnRC myself, but that'll not doubt give some indication to the quality of the coaster to those who have done it).  But the reason for this standing out so much was because of the atmosphere in the queue line.  Themed around a mystery train disappearance, the queue line feels exactly like an abandoned train station, and features plenty of scares, a creepy atmosphere, surprises and excellently themed sets along the way.  Dare I say, the queue line is a better scare attraction than many scare mazes that the UK theme parks produce at Halloween!  
 

An unassuming entrance
 
Lost Gravity
With surprise opening out of the way, we headed over the Lost Gravity, which opened shortly after the 10am opening.  Words cannot really describe this ride.  Whoever designed this must have been high on a cocktail of drugs, but they've managed to create a ride which chucks together loads of random, somewhat incoherent, ideas, and makes it work for a fun ride.  The queue is weird and features a couple of wtf moments, the theming is odd, the effects make no sense (including the huge flamethrower effect which makes even the staff jump as there's no rhythm to it going off).  The ride itself - first drop is fab, airtime hills are fab.  The top hat thing is weird.  The second half of the ride is really slow and killed by the MCBR, but at the same time, is still alright.  I definitely think the outer-left seat is going to give the best ride experience.  
 
All in all, this attraction makes no sense at all, but is still a fun little thing.  It's nothing *special*, but definitely a great concept, and hopefully more parks invest in Mack BigDippers in the future...
 
 

The top hat looks very square from this perspective...
 

Escalator theming the queue because...reasons?
 
Goliath
The main thing I remember about Goliath is how painfully obvious this was a ride from the Six Flags era.  No theming, awful-looking queue, no audio in the surrounding around, unimaginative name, awkward location.  That's not to say it was a bad ride, but I guess because I always look for a more overall experience than *just* a coaster, the lack of overall experience will stand out to me.  The coaster is pretty fun, offering nice moments of airtime and intensity, and has a decent-ish layout on the whole.  We had a ride on it in the hail, which was both painful and awesome in equal measure.  We ended up riding this a few times during the day, so I guess that shows how loved it was by the group as a whole, but it's just a shame there wasn't more to go with it!
 


 
From here, the park goes a bit downhill.  Robin Hood, the park's Vekoma woodie, is alright, and has a bit more airtime than it's sister Werewolf, and is good in its own right, but failed to leave much of a lasting impression on me.  Speed of Sound, a Vekoma Boomerang, is one of the better Boomerangs I've done in fairness, but the transition between the cobra roll and vertical loop is rather unpleasant.  The soundtrack is annoyingly catchy though.  Coaster-wise, we also did kiddie coaster Drako, which wasn't terrible.  
 



 
El Condor
The final coaster we did at the park was El Condor, a Vekoma SLC.  I heard bad things about it, so wasn't exactly looking forward to it.  But dear oh dear, this was dreadful.  The OTSR actually squished my ears due to the lack of room they provided.  The ride was rough, rattly and in general just uncomfortable and awful.  And this was in the front row too!  Honestly, I cannot think of a worst (notably) coaster I've done.  One can only hope this is on the chopping block for the park (hopefully for their 2019 coaster...)
 

This is not BaronC. approved.
 
Outside of the coasters, there's little of note really.  Merlin's Magic Castle was a largely forgettable Vekoma madhouse, though did feature a nice bit of misdirection in the main ride show.  Their rapids and log flume were fun and featured some quirky signs (though are clearly nothing to write home about as I've forgotten their names, and I'm too lazy to look them up...).  And aside from a couple of smaller rides, there's not really much else on park.  
 
I'm probably selling the park a little short here, but time constraints, laziness and a general mediocre reaction to the park isn't really encouraging me to go much further.  It's evident that the park's recent investments have been very good for the park though, which is only a positive sign.  The lack of indoor rides was something that really stood out to me (especially given the pouring rain!), but hopefully next season's 'thrilling dark ride' will help with that.  
 
One final point - the park's direction.  Walibi have made is obvious that they want Walibi Holland to be a thrill park, focusing on teenagers and young adults.  They pretty much said as much when they closed down their 4D cinema for next year's apparent new attraction.  And, much like Thorpe at the beginning of the decade, they've tailored their marketing and general park atmosphere to that market.  From "#HardGaan" ('#GoFast') plastered all across the park and live DJs playing music across the park (with many songs featuring plenty of swears), they know what they think this market wants.  Oh, and there's this charming t-shirt, which many staff wear, and is also on sale...
 

Subtly, not Walibi Holland's strong point.
 
I'm by no means a prude or anything, but this whole style seems very theme park unfriendly.  And it's nowhere near as clever, subtle or humorous as some of the stuff Thorpe did during their fathead phase (the 2011 fireworks event 'Thorpe Park BLOWS IT UP / BLOW S#!T UP' advertising was something which I genuinely found amusing and clever, and still brings a smile to my face thinking about it).  Part of me hopes it works for them, as I think turning Walibi Holland into a thrill-focused park would be great, as they have plenty of opportunities (much more so than Belgium and Rhone-Alpes) and a firm foundation already.  But at the same time, we've seen plenty of parks try this strategy, before realising alienating families is never a good thing.  So who knows.
 
 
Anyways, enough rambling.  Platform 13, Lost Gravity and Goliath were all fab coasters in their own right, but everything else is a bit drab.  Hopefully we can see more fabness in the future.
 
Next time - Germany, and Phantasialand of awesome-ness...