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Your Thorpe Park

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2017: The Year of Water


Given a proper spruce up Loggers Leap would re-open summer 2017


The ride station is spruced up now with storage for bags (because who wants to get there bags soaked)

The ride starts of passing by a figurine cutting a tree with water spurting out from holes in the tree and little animal figures poking out from the holes in the tree

The those in the ride queue can use water guns that look like otters to soak the riders

A bear appears from behind a tree and roars and the car travels into the tunnel lift hill, in the tunnel lift hill saw blades are suddenly activated when side by side and illuminated and one large saw blade over head for the drop in the dark on the corner there is a lumberjack hacking wood where water spurts from the log and you exit the tunnel

The bird figurine has been repainted and bursts water from its mouth, the water flow system over head has been updated with holes in to leak onto the riders, a large tree with a face sneezes and a large burst of water is sprayed at riders

Tree's are arranged to be died together overhead creating a tree tunnel with dangling dream catchers and at the end of the tunnel a saw suddenly cuts through the tree overhead

Then you ascend for the final drop with creaking and buzz saw sounds played and when you reach the top a shout of TIMBER and the ride returns to the station passing the open area


Rumba Rapids would be Re-themed to a volcanic adventurers journey and given a suitable re-theme with seat belts added - station turned into a volcano, tribal figurine with blow pipes that spurt water intermittently, sprinklers placed inside the building re-themed to a crystal diamond treasure cave where a stolen artifact causes the storm, escaping back outside a skeleton army stands on the cliff sides chanting, the large area now has a large rock with a demon skeleton face painted on and increased power water guns, the shower head replaced with a large water eruption volcano


Advertisement begins with the a storm is coming slogan



The island behind stealth opens with a Mack spinning launched coaster and a 200ft launching freefall tower

The island has a large rocky faced structure which houses the roller coaster it's queue line, the launch tower and queue line, shop and photo op, restaurant and toilets


Tempest coaster-

Queue line meanders through caverns, ride launches through lightning, thunder sounds and effects with sprinklers for rain, into a banked bend passing a car figurine banging on the glass, into an s-bend through the wreckage of a sinking make shift house where the collapsing ceiling drops with creaking noises, straight through an area of sprinklers thunder and lightning effects and suddenly falling tree's, airtime hill with strong wind fans into a banked corner and into a climbing helix with the downward helix passing on the outside at the same time, drops down through area of sprinklers and sparking electric post, into a top hate over an impaled man figurine, straight ahead with fans and sprinklers, thunder and lightning effects, barrel roll over mannequin hands reaching out of sinking car sunroof, climb a hill to drop down into a corkscrew and into the downward helix, straight ahead past large bursts of water, repeated growing hills through wind, rain and thunder effects and returns to the station.


Vertigo free fall tower-

With cavern queue line and running water from top of tower as you launch



A quiet year or much needed TLC around the park







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I would create a large Victorian house on the island behind stealth and swarm.

Advertisement would focus on a historical recreation tv show where they are rebuilding an old Victorian house that once stood in the marshes of Thorpe Park a century ago, however in the rebuilding many horrible accidents start occurring a worker is shown being flung out of a large grand Victorian window, another worker is shown bursting into flames and another worker dies of fright with white hair.

The island would house the large grand Victorian house which the left side would have some collapsed scaffolding for theming and the large grand Victorian window would be smashed as in the advert with a shadowy figure seen standing there and the entrance of the queue line would be the chalk mark of the spot where the man fell to his death and the blood stain.

Entering the house into the grand foyer with a corpse hanging from the grand chandelier which has a dropping feature that frightens those beneath, there is a large painting with red glowing eyes and a large beastly dog with jaws opens and the dog head lunges out from the painting at those walking past, the grand staircase creaks as you walk up it and the stairs move slightly up and down, at the top of the stair case is a statue with talons and hands over its face that every so often moves the talons to lunge at those in front of it.

They then head down a long tight corridor where the ceiling gets lower as you get to the end creating the illusions its closing in on you and there are mannequin hands all the way along the wall which you brush past with moaning and groaning noises in the dark.

Once you turn the corner there is a burning mannequin which rapidly moves towards you separated by Perspex glass and you then pass into a large room where babies cries are heard and a cot is seen rocking by a window, the room suddenly illuminates red and the baby screams and from behind some boxes a scary woman mannequin raises from the floor shouting "get away from my baby"

There is then a large Victorian kitchen with a furnace with a skeleton hand reaching out, a meat grinder with meat coming out and a human body passing through, there is a bowl of soup with eye balls floating in this is the waiting area to be loaded into a large dark room, the floor begins to shake from side to side and then drops suddenly repeatedly several times

Upon exiting there are dark corridors with breathing and whispering sounds and there is a scene with mannequins around a séance table being videoed, "within these walls we call upon the spirits, to join us here, let us behold the cryings of the very earth here"

They then head down a dark corridor "you want to be just like all the other boys don't you? Your to small as you are, I've always thought you could do with  being taller, so has the master and miss. This will do that for you and I can help you, mmhaha"

They are then loaded into standing frames which look like stretching racks and the frames are sent whizzing along a track with stretching sounds down a long corridor with strobe lighting with the grand Victorian window at the end and the masked figure skeleton hands and long neck with demon head stretch out of the cloak and reach out at the riders as they stop infront of it and the rider then drops vertically and they then briefly travel and are unloaded from the racks in the cellar and head down a dark corridor

"My beautiful boy argh ha, NOOO!


The lights then flash and reveal Victorian staff mannequins being hanged

"And so the land would cry till the end of time, for all the souls that had been lost on this land that could not leave their pain and suffering behind and to be tormented for so long but all they could do was tormented any and all who stood there ground".

There would be an Old English themed shop with photo collection from the ride upon exit into the building.

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Canada Creek/Old Town:

The whole area has more of a undead western theme with the new roller coaster, loggers leap is refurbished and re-opened with updated theming.


Dander Dash:

The Vekoma steel launched coaster the same model as Disney's Tron light cycle coaster but the cars would be themed to undead horses.

The station building and queue line is the old Canada creek railway area.

The roller coaster goes straight ahead into a room which has a sun down illumination and two figures either side the light goes out and a gun shot is heard the ride then launches out of the building beside the log flume into an inverted loop with a barrel roll over the top of the building with a figure with gun shots fired out of a wagon, the ride then drops down passing a tavern building and a over turned wagon with shooting sounds, the ride then performs a banked turn over the walkway with burger king etc, straight into another banked turn underneath the Colossus lift hill and then at the top into a building based on slammers site where it would perform 5 downward Helix's in the shed themed to a barn lightning lights and sound effects within the centre of the helix a graveyard where western zombie figurines slowly rise up from the grave with strobe effects.


Exiting the building to pass western zombie figurines one a hanging victim reaching at riders they then perform a bunny hop over the entrance from lost city and perform a banked turn passing the start of loggers leap and a banked s-bend over the bottom of the drop, the ride then turns and performs a break run around the back of the station building and you exit at a separate unloading station.


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I was thinking the other day what the park could do for Halloween besides tired horror franchises and had the idea of a "Horrific Food Festival". Food festivals are a very now thing, it felt like we had one every weekend over the summer in Brighton. So imagine lots of stalls featuring Heston Blumenthal levels of gory food and drink - that. Marketing it would be a piece of piss too, just get a video posted of a couple of lads and tarts eating a skull shaped pizza on that insufferable Lad Bible page on Facebook and you're off. 



oh and an RMC on Treasure Island  



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End of 2018: Announce the closure of Logger's Leap and remove the ride. Remove Slammer.

Start of 2019: Retheme X back to the lightshow theme before TWD happened. Add a new family water ride in the place of Logger's. Add a 'filler' in Slammer's spot for a new attraction in 2020. 

2020: New flat ride in Slammer's area. Try and make the ride the only one of its kind in the UK, like what Slammer did. Perhaps a Tourbillon or a Skywarp (although a Skywarp might be a bit small). Retheme Angry Birds Land.

2021: New big coaster, make it a world's first perhaps.

2022: Colossus removal.


Some much needed TLC will be applied during these years, perhaps some things could be pushed back a year to mainly dedicate an off season to reviving or updating areas of the park.

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Next big investment:


The station building is a large Roman temple with the queue line beginning through a large roman statue littered garden then entering through the grand pillar open air entrance into the building for the station where a god like spirit in flames projection explains how in ancient times Augurs where considered witches who interpreted the will of the gods and the island was once a witches haunt ;) they made a grave mistake interpreting a battle and the island was scorched as they burned they placed a powerful curse on the land that centuries ago was defeated and buried however with the work for the new ride on this land the curse has been released again.


The ride then exits the station to climb a lift hill dropping down into the 6 of a large Roman clock drawn on the ground and rising through the 12 into a loop where the central statue sprays water at the riders and back through the 6 and exiting the 11, the ride then performs a air time hill over the gardens and turns round to enter the 10 and exit the 4 into a large banked turn entering the 2 and exiting the 8 and meandering through the temple pillars. The ride then turns passing over the gardens to enter the 9 exit the 3 into a Immelmann loop that turns and enters the 5 and travels through the beak of the main feature underground which is the Augur statue (a bird looking woman) with wings outstretched and exits the 1 into a banked turn back into the 12 to perform a helix around the main feature and exit the 7 to return to the temple building where the ride abruptly stops the platform the car is on begins to shake and tilt as the room appears to suffer from an earth quake and flames burst around the room a screeching sound is heard and the room fades to black with the train arriving back at the station.

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