Cal

Generally speaking from now on Slammer will have a set open time of 11am, however, this is massively dependant on a variety of things. If the engineering team are happy and it's ready it will open at any time from 9:30 to park close. The checks usually last around 10-15 minutes, again depending on a variety of things! 
 
Hope this helps

I'm in Like James said, if I'm not there (probably because I've forgotten, just start without me  

yesterday was pretty bad, with nemesis inferno closed at opening, not opening til gone 10, at this time saw was also closed (and don't think it opened til just before lunch), The swarm was on one train for first few hours if not more and got itself a nice 110 minute queue, with Colossus getting close to that (and think it then got reduced to one train again later on in the afternnon), and nemesis getting like 75 minutes (which to me looked like more than that, with a good half of the extension queue being used!) all because of one train only operation!? stealth had a good 20/30 minute queue as soon as we got in the park about 9.45 due to it only being on one train... I mean surely being a busy summer holiday there'd be some sense in having enough maintenance staff and having them in early enough to open on 2 trains considering the price people pay to get in!

As for downtime, seen stealth testing at some point in the day, and was stuck in saw the ride queue while they decided to add 2 more trains, which was apparently supposed to reduce peoples queues but then took even longer when there was some sort of problem and they had to have engineers to check the ride (and I think subsequently then removed a train from operation!)... so was a bit annoying. slammer was just beyond awful with how long it took to prepare each cycle, plus with a whole side of seats on each arm closed off reducing capacity to 20 people per ride (worked out about 200pph!!!! - although then per arm you're and after splitting you're then waiting in 100pph effectively!), and then just as we were batched there was a bit of a wait to then hear an announcement that there was a fault with the ride, so they sent a test go, and fortunately it was fine and we were allowed to ride. Samurai was closed all day as it had a cherry picker / crane parked up next to it, although while we were in the indoor queue for saw while it was broke, could have sworn we seen samurai moving.

As for rush, most people don't know the difference, and I just make sure I ask so I get the swing I want

things like that really annoy me when they know people will return and have no intention of improving - I mean break downs are unfortunate and unforeseeable (most of the time), but when they can't open a busy park with good capacity and rides closed it is bad! and this is the best the UK has got eh!

I still had a really good day, and highlights were riding slammer (after the slowest moving queue on earth), stealth seemed to have a great throughput while on two trains (must have been good staff), came off saw without a headache whilst still having an intense ride and had an awesome ride on vortex (so much love for this ride when it's running and well, and having good seats always getting the top!).

I'm not patronising you Altitude, I'm applauding the fantastic costume. 

If Inferno had been built in Germany, it would definitely have fire, since they're obsessed with the stuff...
The volcano needs a clean more than anything if I recall, being all mossy and mergh looking... Plus actually existing on the exit staircase as well would've been a bonus... The 2000s were really strange for the overall project quality...

Why do they keep giving out free fastracks when they sell too many already?!
Apart from that I like the idea.

I'd love to see something that many people will think is ridiculous, but in my opinion is awesome!
Whilst its not top of the refurb list, a proper looking volcano ontop of inferno would be lovely.
I went to a dinosaur themed mini gold course by Niagara falls, and they did a better job then thorpe's papiermache (can't spell) volcano.
With water falls, vapour, and every 15 minutes a fire effect with an awesome sound effect that can be heard 100m away!

I don't get why they aren't sticking to it though? Earlier on this year a man was queue jumping on Vortex, luckily the host saw him and shouted out that he had to go to the back of the queue line. In some queue lines they have signs saying queue jumping may lead to being kicked out the park, so why don't they do this? I asked a member of staff later that day and she said there is zero tolerance with queue jumpers and they will get escorted from the park.

Yeah, a one eyed bloke threatened to 'stab me up' each time I passed them on the switchback of the cattle-pen on Smiler last year after I stopped his (adult) daughters push by me like they just had a few hundred other people.
 
I'm used to and mostly enjoy a bit of confrontation, but it's not for everyone or advisable!
 
I wish the parks would strictly enforce these rules, just having a word or sending them to the back of the queue is not enough of a deterrent. It wouldn't take that many being thrown out before wotd got around that it's not worth even trying.

I feel like queueline rules have become rather lax these last few years, I've only seen people being told to get off of the fences in the Vortex queue once or twice whilst I've witnessed a whole load more from sitting on fences to queue jumping and smoking in various other queuelines! It's definitely something the park need to review imo. 

2. Nobody would buy a Samsung when iPhones are the best <3 Mine is my child.

I'm sorry but the arena isn't used enough to warrant it being there just in case they get some same old repetitive BMX people in over summer. Apart from 20 so days at Fright Nights it is hardly used! The only thing it's been used for this year is storage and a school meeting point over trips week. It's just a waste of space! 
 
It is prime location for a dark ride. You can build a nice large building and not have to worry about obscuring the locals views as it will be in the core of the park. It will use up space which is unused and noticeable (at least the Fungle site is behind a fence and out of the way!) Whilst entertainment is good, it doesn't pull guests in! The park have 2 stages on park now for performances (Tidal Wave and The Dome), you have the 4D cinema, they can always put a stage up by Stealth like they've always mentioned on the MTDP or have BMX over there which they've even done before. We also had Braniac Live over Easter in the Asylum building. I'd much rather they developed the arena into something before opening up another one of the new islands with just one attraction and it feels empty or is a pain to get to (Swarm!). The new islands are primarily for coasters as well because of the lack of space in the core of the park! 

Lets not build anything ever then, eh? This country is a shambles when it comes to planning.
 
I do wonder though how much Merlin shoot themselves in the foot with with these problems with their tight opening hours, dumping all their traffic out right on top of rush hour. Extending the hours out a bit to spread the pain into quieter roads would surely help.

As much as it pains me to say anything good about Storm Surge, it is better for the park the park then Octopus Gardens in my opinion.
 
At the end of the day, Octopus Gardens was a collection of dated rides which would look more comfortable in a high street than in a theme park.  Their popularity was declining (well, of course, considering the target market), and it just wasn't for the park.  Storm Surge, despite its list of flaws longer than the Great Wall of China, is a family ride which can be 'enjoyed' by the majority of people.  
 
Now the target market is families, but they seem to be focusing on families where the children at slightly older.  Chessington and Legoland have family markets that are more geared towards families with younger children, so it makes sense for Merlin to turn Thorpe to do what they're doing.  When a child hits 7-8, they'll likely be 1.2m anyways, so can do a lot of rides there now. 
 
Octopus Garden just didn't have a place in Thorpe any more, and I think even if Thorpe had always been a family park, it wouldn't have deserved a place any longer than what it got.  

I was going to say, with Ts like that she can get all the Us in the world and I'm sure she'll find a job somehow

I don't. It's the best video ever. TITS TITS and MORE TITS.

Coasters for me is a hard one, but I'd have to say B&M because of my favorite coaster Nemesis, I also love Oblivion and of course Inferno Intamin is my second because of rides like Colossus and Stealth. B&M always seems to be the most reliable manufacturer (except Air) and there rides always seems to be smoother, 
 
For flats I'd have to say S&S because of Slammer   and Rush. I know they aren't the most reliable or most comfy but they are just my favorite. 

Went to the Brighton pier for a bit today as I was in Brighton anyway and ended up having a good time. When we got there Air Race, The Booster, Turbo coaster, Crazy mouse, Helter Skelter, Carousel were all closed due to adverse weather conditions. As soon as we walked up to the Booster, they were just about to open it so we thought we might as well buy wristbands which were only £10 because of ride closures. We then got on the Booster for my first time, and it was awesome, I loved the point when you go past the top and then your car thing spins, the feeling was awesome. Looking around at the top while they unload and load people is also nice, shame the cycle is soo short though!  When we were at the top we could see air race testing, so then we went to that. Air race was awesome! The restraints were comfy and on my last ride I counted the inversions, 18! We then went for lunch and some shopping and came back later. 
 
None of the other closed rides had opened, but I wasn't really bothered, I would of liked to do the wild mouse but that doesn't matter too much. The manager said because of the wind it would just get stuck halfway through the ride. It was funny seeing the Carousel moving on it's own because of the wind!
Air race did have a few problems but it was only due to the weather, they need to be lined up straight before the ride can start or for the restraints to release and the wind was moving them, so a member of staff had to come and stop them swinging or make them straight in order for it too work.
In total we did 3x Air race, 2x Galaxia, 1x The booster, 2x Twister, 4x Wild River, 2x Dodgems, 1x Horror Hotel, 1x Waltzers. Bearing in mind that these rides range from £3 - £5 each, £10 for the whole day is really good value.
 
 
 
There was no queues yesterday really, except from the booster and the horror hotel. I wouldn't recommend queuing for the horror hotel (it was awful) Everything else we just waited for the cycle to finish and we were on the next ride!

The wristband offer is on for the whole of the summer holidays

Thought it'd be worth mentioning, there is now a gate in the queue line so you don't have to walk around the cattlepen extension section (unless it's busy enough to warrant it but I doubt it'll ever be that busy).

The following Merlin attractiones (at least) could do with major TLC or refurbishment
Thorpe/
Colossus
Canada Creek (especially loggers)
Rumba rapids
Ranger county
The dome and surrounding area
Towers
The gardens
Smiler
Charlie
Rita (or just replace with a Mack launch while they're at it)
Flume
Chessie
Everywhere except wild Asia, market square, Africana, Zufari and parts of Mexicana and Transylvania

An Air Race to replace Zodiac.

I wasn't asked to be realistic, just what I wanted.

B&M Dive Machine.

Hello. I think we're gonna get along just fine.