Rant

[Tom]

Unsurprisingly a summer holiday isn't enough time for people to grow up. When everyone doesn't do as well in AS Levels as they wanted to they will mature. Year 13 really is the golden year.

[Fred]

Agreed. It means you're closer to leaving the education system if you wanted to. That was always a winner in my books.

[Ellie]

I have had a nightmare six months but the past month has been so stressful. I won't go into too much detail but I just need to let this out. The past 3 weeks I've been having quite severe pains. The original possibilities were a genetic disorder or cancer. Yes cancer. It's a big scary word and even considering that I had cancer was terrifying, especially this type with very low survival rates. Trying to talk to people about possibly having cancer is a nightmare because they just shrug it off saying 'I doubt it'.

Today I had to go back and get blood test results and explain about more/different pains that I'm getting. Thankfully the blood tests suggested (but do not confirm) that its more likely the genetic disorder and so I'm getting an ultrasound scan done which will hopefully confirm either way. When I told my friend, his response was 'I told you so'. I am so peed off. Until you've been in the situation where you have to consider that you might have cancer, you cannot judge or joke about it. Besides my parents, I had told 3 friends my situation and nobody seemed to really accept that we are ALL at risk and denying that helps noone.

And even now, people just assume everything's over. Well, no, if it is this genetic disorder, I have to live with it for the rest of my life. It's a bittersweet.

But yes, the doctor said to not worry too much about cancer for now. Fingers crossed the ultrasound goes well.

[Sidders]

Ellie that's horrible! I really hope the screening goes well for you and it's nothing too serious. My mother once miscarried due to a cancer so it's both shocking and greatly disheartening to think friends could shrug it off as something so blasé. Do you know when at all you're going to find out the results?

[Ellie]

I have to wait for my appointment to come through the post but I think there's a long waiting list. Thank you, it's really nice to hear that somebody other than my parents understand.

Yea I lost a grandma and a family friend to cancer this year so it was pretty upsetting to think about.

[Sidders]

Well I wish you only the best with the results! Cancer is a terrible disease and it should be realised by your friends how important it is they understand how dangerous it can be.

[Laelda_95]

Having to keep your relationship a secret because your parents are racist and would explode with anger and shock if you revealed you are in fact dating a black boy. Deary me, I can't cope.

[Mer]

I do love the benefits system in this country.

I made a claim for ESA a few weeks ago. Granted it takes a while to process but it's never taken this long and without the money, I'm unable to pay my mum.

So I phone up last week and fail the security part but am told this may be because they're still processing the claim. Phoned again today, same problem. Am told to ring twice more because if it happens 3 times in one day, they get the office dealing with my claim to call me. On the second call they suggest giving my current address on the "Previous address" question as other people have found this works. Third time I call I try this and it works. Brilliant, you have to know your current address on a previous address question. Some security eh!!

They look into my claim - or lack of! They tell me there is no record of any claim being made and to ring the new claims line to see if they know anything. At this point I'm pretty peed off and worried because we really can't afford to wait any longer for this money, backdating it to when I first phoned, I'm owed nearly £200 and it's had a knock-on effect on everything.

Ring the new claims line, get told by a nice man that there IS records of a claim and that my form and medical certificate were received on 22nd November and they put a note on the system. So relief for now, as they have actually received everything!

I was so tired and weary I didn't even think to be more assertive or anything. But I'll ring again tomorrow to see if anything has changed and explain what effect this is having on all of us. It may work, as when my mum claimed before and it took ages, once she told them we couldn't buy food or pay the rent they miraculously sped it up Might get her to speak to them on my behalf, she can be very scary and persuasive when need be! My voice doesn't quite have that effect!

So yeah, so far this month has been the worst of the year. No boyfriend, no hours at work until the Christmas hols, no money, battling with depression. Anyone who tells me to cheer up and look on the bright side will get a slap!

[Will]

I do love the benefits system in this country.

I made a claim for ESA a few weeks ago. Granted it takes a while to process but it's never taken this long and without the money, I'm unable to pay my mum.

So I phone up last week and fail the security part but am told this may be because they're still processing the claim. Phoned again today, same problem. Am told to ring twice more because if it happens 3 times in one day, they get the office dealing with my claim to call me. On the second call they suggest giving my current address on the "Previous address" question as other people have found this works. Third time I call I try this and it works. Brilliant, you have to know your current address on a previous address question. Some security eh!!

They look into my claim - or lack of! They tell me there is no record of any claim being made and to ring the new claims line to see if they know anything. At this point I'm pretty peed off and worried because we really can't afford to wait any longer for this money, backdating it to when I first phoned, I'm owed nearly £200 and it's had a knock-on effect on everything.

Ring the new claims line, get told by a nice man that there IS records of a claim and that my form and medical certificate were received on 22nd November and they put a note on the system. So relief for now, as they have actually received everything!

I was so tired and weary I didn't even think to be more assertive or anything. But I'll ring again tomorrow to see if anything has changed and explain what effect this is having on all of us. It may work, as when my mum claimed before and it took ages, once she told them we couldn't buy food or pay the rent they miraculously sped it up Might get her to speak to them on my behalf, she can be very scary and persuasive when need be! My voice doesn't quite have that effect!

So yeah, so far this month has been the worst of the year. No boyfriend, no hours at work until the Christmas hols, no money, battling with depression. Anyone who tells me to cheer up and look on the bright side will get a slap!

I totally understand where you're coming from. Everyone has things they're going through and most people get the odd thing or two every now and again. But for you, it seems to be a constant thing and hearing the words "cheer up" will only make things worse because you get the feeling that people don't understand the severity of the problem (of which there are multiple) and will pass you and your problem off as being moany and weak.

I honestly thought that people would've been fed up with the amount of times you've posted in this topic but the ones that know you like me for example, know how difficult things are right now and need to have a fricking heart because I don't know anyone who has gone through as much as you.

And I have a lot of respect for you and am genuinely surprised, how you've managed to keep it together all this time.

[Smidget]

Not saying Mer hasn't been through bad stuff and what not, but I'd like to point out that some people may have gone through just as much, if not more, and just haven't publicised it.

It's good that someone can be open like that but not everyone is. Some people have problems and you just don't realise...

[Sidders]

Interesting post Sarah, and I completely agree, but there is something of a distinction between what Mer might be going through and say, a more personal issue. Mer's rant was at 'the establishment' and I've always found it hard to disagree that any rant at that sort of entity has automatic clout. Personal issues are, obviously, much harder to speak about and to many extents haven't been so openly discussed on here. It's perfectly normal of course! But it's just an observation I'd made. We all suffer in silence about many things, which is pretty scary when you think about it.

[Smidget]

But there are more personal issues mentioned in Mer's post. Granted there isn't much detail but they are mentioned nonetheless. It's not a bad thing, more just a reminder to keep an open mind I guess.

And who doesn't love to have a rant about the government eh?

[Fred]

I love benefits.

I've never been on benefits.

[Mark9]

I have had a nightmare six months but the past month has been so stressful. I won't go into too much detail but I just need to let this out. The past 3 weeks I've been having quite severe pains. The original possibilities were a genetic disorder or cancer. Yes cancer. It's a big scary word and even considering that I had cancer was terrifying, especially this type with very low survival rates. Trying to talk to people about possibly having cancer is a nightmare because they just shrug it off saying 'I doubt it'.

Today I had to go back and get blood test results and explain about more/different pains that I'm getting. Thankfully the blood tests suggested (but do not confirm) that its more likely the genetic disorder and so I'm getting an ultrasound scan done which will hopefully confirm either way. When I told my friend, his response was 'I told you so'. I am so peed off. Until you've been in the situation where you have to consider that you might have cancer, you cannot judge or joke about it. Besides my parents, I had told 3 friends my situation and nobody seemed to really accept that we are ALL at risk and denying that helps noone.

And even now, people just assume everything's over. Well, no, if it is this genetic disorder, I have to live with it for the rest of my life. It's a bittersweet.

But yes, the doctor said to not worry too much about cancer for now. Fingers crossed the ultrasound goes well.

I think its an automatic reaction with cancer, its very hard for someone who has never had to deal with the horrors of cancer to completely understand how it wrecks lives, not just for the person its affecting, but the family and everyone around that person.

I lost a friend to cancer six years ago, at the same time my mum had cancer. So I completely understand the fear you are going through/went through. Hopefully the ultra sound will confirm it isn't cancer. Without sharing to much, I hope it also isn't the genetic disorder as well.

[Smidget]

I second that Mark. I lost my Nan to cancer 4 years ago, and I've lost numerous members of my extended family to it too.

I'm not really sure what to say. I'd like to say I hope it's not cancer, but I also want to say I hope it's not the genetic disorder. But then that leaves the question of if it's not either of those, what is it? Regardless, I hope that whatever the news you receive you get all the help and support you may need. There are plenty of ears here if you need them too.

[Ellie]

Thanks guys, I'm much less concerned now although I am having new symptoms! Not fun. I get the feeling it's going to be a long wait til I find out. The good news is, my pain hasn't been too bad for a few days, woo!

I know it's difficult to know what to say but I really appreciate it, thank you

[Ellie]

Thank you so much Han. I had to wait for a specific date to have my blood tests because of what they were testing for but after getting those results it does look to be the genetic disorder which is why they're not rushing it now I guess. My pain has gone away but from what I can tell I'm going to have these pains quite regularly and when they're bad they're really bad. What's concerning me now is that there doesn't seem to be good pain management. I was told to switch between paracetamol and ibuprofen but the paracetamol doesn't do anything and the ibuprofen is only partly effective. I know someone else with the genetic disorder and its not rare but the big problem is that everyone has different symptoms and my main concern is having to live with these pains.

Thanks loads though Han, it sounds like you understand where I'm coming from. I've found recently that most 'friends' will only be there in the good times and when you're going through a bad time they disappear and leave you alone which, you can imagine, only made it worse for me. x

[Fred]

Mmm nasty - have they not prescribed heavier pain killers then like cocodomol? That seems to do the trick for most people - as well as send them a bit loopy!

[Ellie]

Codeine? That's a good point I have some paracetamol + codeine so ill give those a go when I next need them! The doc said she wanted to wait to discuss my options once we've had the ultrasound. As far as I'm aware, if the ultrasound shows that my problem is severe surgery could be an option so we're holding out for now.

The only problem with cocodomol is that I have to drive every day so I'm not sure they sound like a good idea

[Benin]

One of my Uncle's cancer has apparently spread a bit further into him, and it's definitely not looking good...

Whilst it's not been affecting me directly as much as I've not really known him, you can see in my Dad how much it affects people, especially as him and a few of his siblings are jetting over to Ireland this weekend...

Cancer sucks...

[Smidget]

*Generic uni moan*

My flatmates never do the washing up/clean up after themselves at all, so our kitchen is always a state (they only cleaned up after themselves when we were threatened with a fine). And now they've all cleared off home and left it like that. They've also chucked glitter all down the hallway. Guess I'm gonna be the one to clean all that up.

[Dan9]

I've successfully spent the last few years avoiding all the typical emotional drama that comes with being this kind of age, and now I haven't the scoobiest how anyone deals with it.

I'd probably be happier living by myself on a desert island.

[Ellie]

One of my Uncle's cancer has apparently spread a bit further into him, and it's definitely not looking good...

Whilst it's not been affecting me directly as much as I've not really known him, you can see in my Dad how much it affects people, especially as him and a few of his siblings are jetting over to Ireland this weekend...

Cancer sucks...

I'm sorry to hear that Benin, my thoughts are with your family Benin.

[Smidget]

Literally so angry. Came in after a night out to find our kitchen had failed inspection. Miserably.

I seem to be the only one in this flat who actually gives a damn about the hygiene. So, rather than go to bed, I've spent the last two hours doing everyone's washing up as they have so kindly left it behind, and cleaning the worktops and baby belling oven thing, as it's being reinspected today and the three flatmates who have yet to go home have done absolutely nothing. My day will now be spent hoovering, cleaning our fridge, freezer and microwave, mopping the kitchen floor and sorting and taking out all the rubbish instead of packing to go home for the holidays, because I know that none of them will bother to do it.

7 people live in this flat and yet I'm the only one who ever seems to do any cleaning. Thanks a bunch flatmates, you are all SO awesome to live with.

I know this is nothing big in the grand scheme of things, but it's getting on my last nerve now. It's a disgusting way to live, but I can't be responsible for cleaning up after myself and 6 other people. And to go home for 3 weeks and leave a filthy mess behind is just downright cheeky and rude. I'm really hoping the people I choose to live with next year are nothing like this.

[Pickles]

Don't worry, next year's apparently better, get to choose an' all. Just gotta get through this year first but the way I cope is I go to others most the time. Best thing to do it call a flat meeting or something, if you have receptionists etc like at mine you can even ask them to hold a flat meeting. At the end of the day, your paying to be there, don't make yourself live somewhere like that. I'm sorting mine out after Christmas.