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Marc
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Aah I know the feeling! I did this last year for the exact same reasons pretty much. It was a tough decision to make but my personal opinion is to put your mental well-being first. To some people it seemed a hasty decision but that was because I kept it quiet; I'd been feeling awful for weeks but said nothing in case it passed and because I knew some would be disappointed. Basically I've always struggled to follow through with things, from hobbies to education, so I think I'd developed a kind of fear/expectation of that disappointed reaction because of experiencing it so much :P Plus there are those that don't understand and tell you to carry on and how loads of people hate their jobs. This is true and I'm sure they say it out of concern, but there is a big difference between a person "hating their job" and being so depressed by it. It got to the point where I'd just feel like crying and had to hold back from doing so; to the point where I was losing my appetite (and it was a physical job) and had this horrible, overwhelming feeling where I wanted nothing more than to be home. Similar to when you few ill at school is a good way to describe that last point! I was basically becoming clinically depressed but antidepressants wouldn't have solved it all, something both me and my GP agreed on. There would have been no point taking them when the root cause of it was still there.

And I'll always remember my grandad saying to me that the most important thing is that you enjoy your job, rather than the money etc. Never a truer word spoken :)

Good luck with your job search! I was fortunate to be able to return to my old job after I quit, however it's only part time. But it's the best job I've ever had :D

Sometimes though in life you have a choice, either work or live on the streets so something tells me mental health can take a backseat for that one. Even if you get so ''depressed'' by it, you have no choice when you grow up. It's amusing to see kids sit there and say I hate my job when it doesn't put food on the table for them etc. I'm fortunate enough that I'm at Uni, but when I was at college it was either work full-time or starve, now that's a difficult thing to do. Full-time college and full-time work. Now that's when mental health comes into play.

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When I say depressed I mean clinical depression, which is technically a mental illness. Anyone who has suffered with it will know dam well how debilitating it is and how you sometimes really don't have a choice because of how awful it makes you feel. Unfortunately it's a word that gets thrown around and not many people understand what actual, clinical depression does to a person.

And I know what it's like struggling to the point of barely being able to buy food, pay bills etc. My mum has been in and out of work due to mental health issues for years (she was only diagnosed and treated fairly recently) which obviously had a big impact on our home life.

And what you say about having a choice - she has taken the choice before to force herself to work/stay working because of money. It led to her having severe breakdowns and on the verge of suicide. So yeah, I think it's fair to say mental health can't take a backseat.

It's funny really how people think it's "bad" that I work part time in a job I enjoy, which helps contribute at home financially. For one, considering all the crap I've been through the past ten years or so, I personally feel it's an achievement that I've still managed to work the majority of the time and the depression only affect it a minority. Secondly, I've been working since I was 16 and generally enjoy it, I don't like the fact that I only have a part time job and having nothing to do a lot of the time (which is partly why I also do voluntary work) - whereas my brother is 26 and has hardly worked (OK he's been to uni) and his attitude towards it is ridiculous, he just doesn't seem to care at all.

But anyway, it's only a job on a pier that I left, to return to a job in a sector I want a career in :P I'm not the first or last person to do that, wish I hadn't even mentioned it now!

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Not the first or last, no.

I hadn't said this before, because I don't see the point of posting all my personal problems online, but I've been diagnosed with depression. Rather than feel sorry for myself I decided to actually change myself and pull myself out of the depressive episode - which I did. Of course it wasn't easy, but you don't need drugs to make you feel better. Luckily I had access to free counselling through my Uni, which I appreciate not everyone has access to, but it is possible to beat depression. I also appreciate I may not have been as 'bad' as some people, but that doesn't make it any less of a struggle.

I've been through some really bad episodes in the past, but that's just it - it's the past! You can't let the past hold you back and stop you from living, and you can't use it as an excuse to not do certain things. A few years ago I felt there was no hope for me, but now I'm at the No.1 university for my course, I have a job (yes, it may only be summer part time, but it's enough to pay off my holiday to Florida, pay bills for summer and well, live). I know a lot of people with Asperger's/austism, depression and a few other more severe mental disorders, and guess what? They're not letting it hold then back - they have all worked their butts off, whether that be full time work or in education to get themselves into university. Some have been sectioned, but are they using this as a reason to not work? No.

In short I agree with Holly. Sometimes you don't have a choice. As rubbish as that is, that's life. It might not be fair, but who the hell said life is fair? People who think they deserve only the best without actually working for it are living in a fantasy world. It's either work, live on the streets, or abuse the benefits system. I know which one I prefer.

Oh, and depression is one of the most common mental disorders (can't recall the statistics off the top of my head though). Numerous people suffer from it at least once in their lives, but for most they just get on with it. There are far worse disorders one could suffer from, but letting depression rule your life and not actually fighting it will get you nowhere.

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My thoughts exactly Ryan but I've just typed a reply so :P But yeah after this I think we should leave it, as I said previously I wish I'd not said anything!

EDIT: I also agree with Mark! But I don't want this to carry on and on and I feel bad for even mentioning it :o Should really stop posting personal stuff on here :P

EDIT AGAIN LOL Marks post is now gone :P

So yeah in reply to Smidget:

That's exactly my point, especially when I was comparing myself to my brother. He chooses to be a lazy sod and live off JSA when he could be using his skills etc in a job. I've worked pretty much full time since I was 16, I've had the depression since 2010 and luckily it didn't affect me job wise until last year. I don't let it rule my life, I don't really see it as a major part of my life at all really. But there have been occasions where it was beyond my control and did have an impact.

I guess it depends how severe it is too. It's great you managed to pull yourself out of yours, a lot of people couldn't do that. Sometimes because they choose not to try, sometimes because they are so bad they just mentally can't. Some people suffer for a lengthy time before seeking help, either because they feel ashamed, embarrassed or in denial, but I recognised the symptoms and knew it wasn't right to be feeling like it so I sought help from my GP. Whenever I've had the episodes they've always scored as moderate-severe on the scale the GPs use, which is why they suggested antidepressants. I don't really have an issue with having them but obviously if it was mild enough to not need them it would be nicer :P

I did also see a mental health nurse about dealing with stress etc last year and they gave me a confidence boost. My GP has never suggested counselling and I've never asked for it, but there have been times where I wonder if I should have it, or CBT. It's something I'll definitely mention when I next go.

I don't know, maybe it comes across different when I post about it on here, and I know your post wasn't just aimed at me but about depression etc in general, but I've never seen myself as someone who feels sorry for themselves or lets it rule their life etc. I just see it as something that can (and has) affect my life badly but can be treated, and not as a lifelong issue. Even if I do actually continue having episodes throughout my life, I don't want it to rule it and I won't let it. I don't want to end up in and out of work and struggling financially like my mum has. As I said previously she wasn't diagnosed and helped until fairly recently whereas I'm only 23 and aware of it etc. So I'd like to think I won't end up like that :)

Right, done :P

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Just to reply to you Mer and much like Sarah I don't throw my problems around on this forum but just to get my point across. I was in hospital last year due to a suicide attempt and I was sectioned whilst they mentally assessed me. 2 weeks later, I was back at work. Your basically saying that even if you don't have a choice you should leave if it messes with your mental health. For me at that point in my life, it was work or be back on the streets. I had no choice, I had to go and work where I had people being idiots to me, I had my Dad behind me telling me that if I didn't work I was out. There's been many times in my life where I've had mental breakdowns and I'm only 21, I've still worked, I've still got myself into Uni. I've been sufferering from depression from about 11/12 so my life has been ruled by it. I'm still at Uni and I don't have a job for the time being but that's because I've been focusing on my first year at Uni. Even now after being diagnosed with severe depression and when I say severe on the questionnaire I did I was 2 points off being sectioned again, in fact my Dad will section me again soon if I don't improve. Even with all that I still want to go out and work, earn money and it not be a part time job. Like Sarah said sometimes in life you just can't use your problems as an excuse.

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I understand your point but you don't seem to have got mine. I don't use it as an excuse. I'm not going to repeat myself again but in a nutshell; I've worked despite everything and it's only affected me occasionally and I'm determined not to let it affect me any more :)

Also your situation was very different; you had your dad telling you to work or you were out. Leaving that job last year, while meaning less money, was not a huge impact on me or home life. If I was living alone and had to pay everything by myself then I may well have stayed in the job because there would have literally been no choice. Whereas at home, whilst my contributions are important, leaving the job wasn't going to cause a huge impact, meaning I had the choice. And I knew at that point I was getting my old job back, so it was secure so to speak, so I chose to do what made me happy.

I'm not sure why this is even being discussed, I have a job even if it is part time, plus considering the state the country is in! And I am looking for either a second job or a new full time one. I appreciate other people have their opinions and concerns but it's starting to feel like I'm doing something wrong.

So yeah, let's move on :)

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Got my first shift rota today :D

After searching for a job for a few months I finally got one, had a few successful training shifts and am now officially employed part-time at my local leisure centre. It's not an amazing job- just keeping the place clean, setting up stuff and stocking up the vending machines- but it pays well at £6.50 an hour. Just have to wait till the 14th June to get my first payslip for the 3 training shifts I did and I'll be earning a steady(ish) £200 a month :)

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My post wasn't totally directed at you Mer (as you said) :P

I just figured that seeing as it's being bought up again, might as well express a viewpoint! It might have seemed like it was directed at you, but I did type it whilst on my phone and it took forever, so I just hoped people would get that it wasn't a "OMG MER YOU'RE SO WRONG" post, cos it's not :lol:. Plus it did get a bit ranty, but that's because as I wrote it I started thinking about people who do abuse the system, etc etc.

I do see both sides, but sometimes you do just have to grit your teeth and get on with things, do jobs you REALLY don't want to do. At the very least you do have some form of income, Mer, which is more than some people. Mental health awareness is on the rise, so hopefully people will have more acceptance of the difference disorders one can have, and with any luck treatments will become cheaper/more accessible.

When I got diagnosed the doctor suggested antidepressants, but as my uni do have a free counselling service and I had already utilised that, he told me to just continue with that and see how things go; if I still found myself struggling come back and give the antidepressants a try alongside the counselling. Obviously it did work - it's amazing how much just talking things through with someone can help. For some people they need more, individual differences/experiences/genetics, and it can get difficult. I still get low points but the counselling helped me to realise what I need to do when I get like that, so *hopefully* I won't sink so low again.

CBT is good - but at a cost. It's really expensive, that's why it's reserved for those who have been sectioned/are near sectioning, or the wealthy. Whilst normal counselling might cost a bit, it's still better than nothing. It's tackling the symptoms/problem in a different way - drugs deal with the biology, counselling the psychology. Get both and who knows, it could make a very big difference.

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  • 1 month later...

I've been working part time now for just over 2 months and have decided I love it. My shifts are either weekday evenings or weekend days and it's great fun! I can go out in the day during the week and be home on Sunday for roast dinner. The best thing is how people are obviously finding me reliable and calling me first if they need someone to cover a shift which gives me that extra little boost to do well.

The job itself isn't exactly glamorous but it has it's highlights. I get to run the parties that we have at the centre and my office is the vending store :P When I first started I thought everyone would judge me for being new, treat me like a slave and just be unnecessarily nasty. None of that happened! Everyone was very friendly to me, offering me help with stuff I hadn't done before and I'd like to think I've made some great friends from it. Even my line manager who I thought I'd have to be careful when working with him is great. Yes it's boring at times but some of the conversations I have with both staff and customers always brighten my day and playing badminton over the entrance gates is amazing!

I'm also really liking the pay, Monday I got £307 for my work in June and I should get a bit more in August for what I've done this month. I know it doesn't seem much but for me it's great and if I can keep up that rate every month I will have made £2170 by January to go on buying a car. Best thing is I only work 45 hours a month (could be more or less as I'm part time) giving me lots of spare time. What made me smile the most was yesterday one of my friends tried bragging to me about how they have a job which gets them £600 a month. To get that though they work 180 hours on a pay of £3.33 with a rota of Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. So whilst they were happy to be earning more than me, I didn't want to burst there bubble that they're being ripped off :P

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I swear minimum wage is £6 something? Although if they are under 16 it might be different.

I get £8.37 an hour but I do some really unsociable hours (starts as early as 5am and finishes as late as 11:30pm). I'm contracted to do a minimum of 20 hours a week but one part timer and one full timer have quit, another full timer is leaving at the end of the month and the sailings are becoming a lot busier due to school holiday. All this means pretty much all the part timers are now getting more than 20 hours - next week I have 26.5! :D

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I guess, at least, it's a way of get some form of experience in the working world, which will be invaluable. I did a week one summer a couple at an accountancy firm I did Work Experience at in Year 10 (technically it was just more work experience, as the guy I was with told me to contact him if I wanted a bit of work). He did pay me £40, but I worked for 5 days, 9am-4pm. Whilst it was basically nothing, it helped me invaluably in deciding that finance wasn't the sector for me.. :P

I haven't got a job for this summer. Thanks to getting bursaries from uni, I've been able to save up enough money over the year so I can not worry about money this summer, and instead enjoy it and work out what direction I'm going in. It's also allowed me to settle in to uni in my first year, and get to know when are good times to look for jobs and work experience. The next couple of summers, I'm going to focus of getting work experience in the hope I can find some sort of job I'd enjoy if I don't go down the PhD route (and even if I do go down that route, I've still ended up with experience in the working world).

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Got a new job now I'm starting an apprenticeship at my local leisure centre, yes I will be getting the minimal wage which is £2.80 or something like that which is a big dip from £6.60 but this is so much better and I'm just glad to have found a much better job so quickly after leaving the sports center, this is what I wanted to all along, lifegaurding and fitness instructing, I might be getting a low wage but I'll be getting several qualifications to make up for that which is beneficial in the long run.

I don't understand people saying you have to grin and bear a job, I've seen and felt first hand how that can affect people, myself and my mother had jobs we didn't enjoy and stressed us out and it caused us to lose sleep and be tired and grouchy and stress isn't good for my mother in particular due to previous health, I'm so glad I left there because all my ex-colleagues have been telling me it's getting worse there and several have been very close to quitting like me due to the bullying

manager, why should people have to put up with someone trying to force you to work for free or trying to claim you haven't done enough hours when you have.

I left because I was expected to work 7-8 extra hours and not be paid for them and because I refused I was then bullied for not doing so, constantly finding fault and only coming up with negatives in my six week reviews, putting up with that is not fair on anyone because it can seriously affect your health

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Wanting to quit because you are being bullied is completely different to wanting to quit because you don't like your hours/tasks. As far as I'm aware nobody said that if you were being bullied you should "grin and bare it" - of course you shouldn't in that case. But if it is a case of doing a job you hate purely based on what TASKS you are required to do or be homeless/have to go on benefits because you have quit your job without finding something else, I know what I would do.

Even if you hate your job you can still look for another without quitting first. That by far is the most sensible solution, unless you are of course being bullied or driven to self harming and other more serious affects of depression.

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  • 2 months later...

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