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I think you should go to Great Yarmouth instead of DLP Matt.

You need a website with your own reviews on. I love reading all your trip reports.

You are fast becoming my favourite trip reporter. =)

Air- the Blade - That made me laugh my head off!

BEST. KIND OF TRIP REPORT. EVER.

Needs more Merlin put downs. 5/10

Yes a bit much blocking any replies regarding it but I think it all got a bit heated the other night so that was the best policy! Not entirely fair but then Thorpe are never going to divulge anything - just like asking AT when the Smiler will reopens gets the same stock response

Lesson learnt, don't have a Twitter Acount..

"The groundwork being so poor, it feels like you've visited the Alton Towers Waterpark" I died inside.

I'll give a serious review here then It's a small park with most of it being generic stuff you see at all the parks (small coasters like Paultons have, an array of well run flat rides and so on). It's a beautiful park to walk around. The bottom half of it doesn't even feel like a theme park (reminded me of Virginia Water Lake for anyone who's been). Raptor Attack is so simple with the generic coaster etc yet so immersive with the small groups entering the mine, physically low beams and really well done animatronics. Great little dark ride. Skate Karts are brill and would be great if you were in a group of friends to race around! The Ultimate is an amazing ride. Really is, yes it's rough, rattly and stuff but it feels like an old school coaster and the second half never lets up. Gutted we only did it the once! We were warned about it being on one train all day (think it has been most of the holidays as well actually as the red train is buggered). We queued 40 minutes for it just before 11, was probably 90 minutes most of the day. Although the track is long the ride only takes 7 minutes due to the stupidly slow lift hills. However you get 38 people on a train so it moves in nice bursts and the music they play is pretty awesome too! Wouldn't be a bad queue if it were on 2 trains.

Can't find them at Universal though, further proving why ABL is much much better. Plus only half of the train ride counts as the other half is in a whole different, separately ticketed theme park. And the queues, they'll be fun. At least with ABL the queues are no where near as bad as what Diagon Alley will be like! Importantly as well, Hedwig loved Thorpe! (Josh's photo ) ABL shows why Merlin is second only to Disney

Being a bad B&M is like being a bad Pixar film, it's still got some quality to it, but lacks certain aspects that made the older ones true classics... It's nowhere near the worst B&M I've ridden (Top Deck at Great America takes that prize), and it's probably my favourite coaster at Thorpe... I'd take run of the mill over all the apparent record breakers the park also has anyday...

You should have packed Storm Surge in your case and dumped it back there. Looks like a nice clean fresh park, if things like Splash Battle are going round empty is it not doing very well, or was it just a bit cold for it?

Eurgh, the drop n shop sign. Shows everything wrong about the place sometimes. Attention to detail. A completely white building? Next to a building blatantly designed to show old floodwater damage? Fantastic.

I know I rode both a fair few times, but with the passing of time they have merged into one in my head and it's all a bit hazy, which is a shame. I don't recall anything being particularly 'jumpy', it was more an overall spooky and atmospheric thing. The ballroom scene, the banquet scene and Sweeney Todd stick in my mind. Watching that video reminded me of that bell that slowly rang and for no reason at all terrified me! Had totally forgotten about that. But my clearest memory is of the ride loading station itself, which felt so grand and complete surrounded by skeletons up in the ceiling with the constant procession of cartridges circling around below before disappearing into the darkness. I remember loving it, I just wish I could remember exactly why!

Still have a pair of DR Pepper pants from this event. These were the days.

Thank you everyone who’s responded! Some really interesting points. I agree with the point raised a couple of times here that visiting Thorpe specifically + half term was only ever going to exasperate it, and it’s true that it is Thorpe where I get the feeling of being “too old” the most. It’s not so much an issue elsewhere, especially abroad weirdly. Josh, that is utterly terrifying that a 15 year old joining the forum today would be younger than Stealth 😳 I too remember being on forums and at the park around that age watching the construction of Stealth. It doesn’t feel that long ago does it! I’ll be honest I still see Saw as “pretty new” 😂 👨🏼‍🦳 I REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS ALL FIELDS 😂 To be honest I agree with you all - I too don’t think you can be too old to visit and enjoy theme parks, and I have no plans to stop! This forum alone is evidence that there’s a keen following among a slightly older audience. Just interested to hear if others ever felt the same occasionally.

I'd be curious if this is a general feeling you have, or a feeling which is highlighted when you're specifically at Thorpe? I know sometimes I feel old whenever I visit Thorpe, sometimes too old. Another thing that makes me feel old is that I joined theme park forums when I was 15. If a 15 year old was to join the forums today, there's a good chance they would have been born after Stealth opened. I remember watching it being built, as well as The Flying Fish and Model World prior pretty vividly. Jeez. I know you say when you visit a park these days, there's a couple of moments where you feel like the odd one out. But that feeling was expanded at Fright Nights (during half term too I think?). It certainly makes sense that the feeling would be highlighted more in that case. It could also be one of those psychology things. Are you feeling like the odd one out because you think you are, and so are looking for evidence to support that? And so, in turn, you notice all the younger groups, and don't see many people who look a similar age to yourself / are older? For anyone reading who doesn't quite get what I mean: you don't see many yellow cars on the road these days, do you? But now that thought is in your head, you will be more acutely aware of yellow cars and notice them a lot more, and realise that - whilst they're not common - there's certainly a fair few about! Maybe during your Towers visit have in the back of your mind to exclusively look for groups of adults in their later 20s/early 30s...maybe you'll be surprised with how many you see? To stop with the psycho-analysing and answer the more direct question: no, you can't be too old for theme parks. I think there's certain social norms which can be at play (for example, going to a children's park alone can seem suspect in some people's minds...but that's completely different). Theme parks (and moreso rides) are a unique blend of escapism, thrill, story telling and holiday all in one, along with other options - such as the idea of 'collecting' ridden coasters/visiting/number of rides - if you so choose. Few hobbies offer such a blend, along with additional versatility and flexibility. I don't think you can be too old for any of the things theme parks offer. It's just whether you feel like the combination it offers is what you want, or if you want a narrower focus. One thing I've noticed over the years of being on forums is some people who were (and still are!) really interested in theme parks have similar other hobbies too. A couple of examples... -Live theatre and similar (escapism and story telling) -Skydiving / mountain biking / more "extreme" sports (thrill) -Travelling (self explanatory) Maybe that's another reason why there's seemingly less people who visit parks? As people get older, they get easier access to / realise other hobbies which share similar traits to visiting theme parks, and focus their attention there a bit more? That diversification then means they spend less time at parks, and then the concentration/percentage of younger people visiting parks decreases. Another thing which I note as well, is that specific park enthusiasm is much more concentrated with younger people. Unsurprisingly, there's very few 15 year olds which are interested in theme parks more broadly: their focus is on one or two parks, and usually their local park. But after say 15 years of continual visits, that local park won't have the same appeal or interest, and are likely more interested to parks more broadly. Again meaning they spend less time visiting their local park, and instead visiting a broader range of parks (again meaning that the average age of certain park visitors feels very young, and the late 20 / early 30 somethings all feel very old whenever they visit). I feel like I've waffled an awful lot and not said much. But in short: -You're not too old for theme parks (and if you are, I only have a maximum of 3 years left before I am...) -Thorpe Park is probably the park in the UK which would highlight this feeling the most -I think people's interests in theme parks spreads in one way or another as they get older, which can mean there's a skewed view as to how old park visitors are

As Matt said, we are never too old, but our feelings for things change. I am more than twice your age and love rides and roller coasters but I have often commented on how different people are, both emotionally and physically. Our appreciation and need for things change. Some would never consider using the rides, me? I have never been interested in basketball. If we were all the same, there would be one heck of a queue for the ride we love. The demographics of society affects the type of people attending parks, I.e. The majority of youngsters are not in the type of employment from which there would be difficulty in having time off. Again for me in the past I worked shifts, so that helped. Don't let your age control whether you ride or not, let your feelings decide that, and whatever you choose, enjoy it.

Agreed on most of your review. Phantasialand has moments of class mixed with areas of complete rubbish. For every Taron there's three rides begging to be destroyed. I can't say the same for Europa Park where every ride has a purpose and is looked after to the highest degree. Yes even snow bench the ride. I value capacity highly and I could rip my hair out waiting for either of the Winja brothers.

In my defence I'm not just a wimp! 😃 Goudrix has been retracked since I visited and supposedly is immeasurably better than it was before. Imagine your second ride magnified. I'm not going to forgive that contraption its sins. Sad to hear you didn't like Zeus, I thought it was incredible. Hopefully it's just you having bad taste and not that they've let it deteriorate!

Very interesting read up as always Whilst Kings Island to me is not a park to travel all the way to America for on its own, it is most certainly worth a visit when combined with days at Cedar Point. I actually enjoyed the atmosphere at the park when I visited but certainly not an atmosphere on the level of Cedar Point. Mystic Timbers to me was by far the star of the show at this park. Whilst front row on it isn’t really that great, the back row felt utterly frantic and the ride at night is sentastional and as such made it my number 1 wooden coaster (even ahead of Wodan and Balder) I do think Diamondback is probably one of my least favourite B&M Hypers but I was quite lucky to have had some solid rides on it airtime wise. I do agree that that trim is utterly stupid though. Banshee...where do I even start!!?? Can somebody please tell B&M that NOBODY LIKES THOSE DAMN VESTS!! Honestly was it not for those vests, it could have been up there with Raptor and Montu as one of my favourite inverts. Thanks to those vests it’s possibly my least favourite and that includes Nemesis Inferno!! I do think the park desperately needs a true WORLD CLASS/ELITE level stand out coaster to go with the current line up. Hopefully the 2020 Giga coaster will give them that.

I absolutely agree with you that the way Cedar Point takes care of its heritage rides is to be respected and admired. It’s something that often goes under the radar with this magnificent park given the focus on all the newer coasters they have.

Will hopefully be doing Kings Island’s ‘’Fastrack equivalent’’ when I’m hopefully out there again in a few weeks. I’ll let you all know what it’s like. From current experience, Port Aventura is the only park I’ve gone full out on ‘’Fastrack equivalent’’ only because of their diabolical batching ratios and that their clientele can’t seem to grasp the basic concept of queuing.

Any idea when a Part 2 might make an appearance? Always love your blogs to provide some inspiration!

Very much agree, Phantasialand is one of the best parks out there and somewhere I strongly enjoy visiting. My first visit did wonders for me, especially Taron, Chiapas and Mamba. I'm also another who actually somewhat likes the Ghost Train Omnimover, even though it's dated and will probably be the next thing ripped out. I feel a major modern dark ride is the next thing they should build. Hollywood though can go though and make way for something bigger, better and more modern.

Phantasialand isn't the best theme park in the world as there are some areas that need serious work. However, it's well on its way to being that park. It just needs to jettison some of the weaker attractions such as the Chinese omnimover and the Hollywood tour ride. As it stands though, rides like Taron, Black Mamba and Chiapas are simply outstanding, the work they've done on River Quest has massively improved the area. Europa Park and Phantasialand though are some of Europes best. Lucky Germans

I'll be doing all of those (except Screamland) plus Xtreme Scream Park and Legoland fireworks. It will be a first time for all of them for me (except Fright Nights. I think I'm most excited for Scarefest personally.

The lack of write up for Chiapas disappoints me. I hate Log flumes but that ride does things to me that no other water ride does.

Great report! It was nice to see such an in depth report of a park I knew nothing about.

It's good having a twitter account so you can tweet Thorpe asking which rides are closed and open they reply fast, but I agree I don't think I'd rather shouting it around on twitter

Don't you mean Hexample

What is it with Alton and incomplete tunnel based experiences?!

I would have loved be to have seen a smile assistant jump out of that door! Shame it doesn't happen now

There's going to be a HYPEVENGERS ASSEMBLE! right? Then HYPEVENGERS AGE OF UNOROGINAL after?? If so I'll buy the boxsets

It's certainly strange that a park of such scale has received little investment in new rides (especially its first 10 years of operation) yet it is still rated highly amongst enthusiast. Just shows, high quality rides and experiences in the first place will lead to success. I think Harry Potter world has made Universal realise Islands full potential especially with the talks of a Jurassic Park extension for 2015 ish (when JP4 is released) and other ideas that I'm sure are always in the works. What is staggering (in my eyes) is how by opening Harry Potter world (which is actually just one new awesome ride and a re-theme) Islands equalled Studios attendance yet they're regularly investing. Either way I think the future for Islands is brighter (even though it was never dull) and if they can utilise an evening show on the lake or something then it will feel complete.

Of course there was going to be a shed, it is a Merlin creation I don't know if this an American thing or just how Legoland Florida chose to set them but both Wave Surfer and the Rocky Express whatever it's called seemed slower than they are over here. The Dragon; dark ride part is much better as a whole probably because it doesn't look/feel warn out. The tunnel out to the coaster is also a bit clearer with a story of the wizard. Boating school was smaller, Driving School looked bigger. The laser raiders had a few more effects interacting with the car and the audio is clearer but it is essentially a clone. Project X is run much better than Jungle Coaster ever was, even before the lids. They have 3 space towers in Florida which I bet helps the queues and they don't have the stupid seat belts that the operator had to unlock with a key. Their miniland is much better in my opinion but maybe that's because it looks new, has working effects and is of different areas to our one. I preferred it to the one in England maybe because there was more for the older generations to do? Plus the gardens which is a nice place to go from the manic Park. If you have a spare day out their and some money I'd recommend it, especially if you can get the 50% off with a MAP (didn't have any trouble doing this they even gave my ticket half price without my pass).

Love Kumba and SheiKra, Tolerated Montu, thought Cheetan Hunt was a mismatch and instead of excelling at being either a thrill ride or a family ride, ended up being in that awkward middle ground of being neither. Shame because I love the look of it, t's truly one of Intamins best looking rides. It just doesn't ride well enough.

First of all, great entry - really enjoyed reading it! In some ways, I don't like judging scare attractions on just one run through, simply due to the very nature of them. However, in other ways, it makes it a lot better as, after all, the mazes should good quality all the time. So, based on my one experience of all the mazes... Cabin in the Woods was great. The tone it created was great, and I didn't think the lighting was weak at all. Each scene was effectively designed and it all worked very well. The latter parts of the maze were poor due to how the maze operates - everyone has choices in the first half, before being rammed down the second. That was the maze's main fault, along with a lacklustre ending which I cannot remember. As for the other mazes - Saw was lit up very well and effectively. Blair Witch was too dark in some ways, so you couldn't take in some of the theming around. What was worse was the lack of audio - pre-recorded rustling in the bushes, screams and gusts of wind would have been great. This was the one attraction which required atmosphere, and it was ruined by the fact it tried to use the surroundings to create an atmosphere. It was like the park tried cutting a corner and paid the price. Asylum's strobes weren't as annoying as previously, but it is a pretty boring feature after a while. MBV was just rubbish. Did the IPs improve the mazes? Well, Cabin is certainly an improvement on Hellgate and Passing (even though I quite liked Passing). Blair Witch, which has essentially served as a replacement for The Curse is actually alright. Okay, so it wasn't scary and wasted so much potential, but for a 2 star attraction, I think it was actually okay. Still needs work of course. MBV was just poor and NEEDS a rethink. The beginning speech was actually really good - something I really enjoyed - but everything else was distinctly below par. I mean, I had some sort of inflatable bed pushed against me at one point - like, what?! So, the answer is yes and no. I think Thorpe need to experiment a bit more with IPs; work out how best to execute them. One thing which they haven't tried is something which actually utilises a story. At best, we get a quick minute blurb at the beginning of a maze. We need something which actually has a story which is strung across the entire maze; a level of interactivity. Hopefully they will try it again next year. I don't think IPs restrict creativity of designers per se: they can still create whatever they want, they just need to work with a story which isn't their own. Based on the levels of theming we saw (which I thought was quite good), we should see the designers become more creative with stories and how to scare people. I'm going to feel like a bit of a broken record saying this, but I think that Face it Alone shows the Thorpe can create good, effective scares. However, it's a case of they need to strike a balance between doing these scares and getting people through. We saw them try with Passing charging for a maze; unfortunately, the idea and the maze itself were met with mixed responses. We saw them try something wild with Experiment 10 in 2011, but that resulted in horribly long queues. The trouble I'm seeing the park having is that they haven't found the best way to balance scares and 'getting the numbers' - let's see how they deal with that next season. So I do agree with you in some ways, but I think there's a much bigger picture to this all. Thorpe are constantly trying to improve Fright Nights, even if the quality of mazes we get doesn't improve (or gets worse). They are trying new, and sometimes innovative, ideas to them, and experimenting with what works and what doesn't. Whilst it doesn't mean we get the high-class Halloween event now - which is shame - I can see that being the case in a year or two from now...

I can round up my trip for you if you like. Shambhala - Awesome, as good as I remember and a proper crowd pleaser. Dragon Khan - Better then I remember. NOT samey, NOT too American. Just pure class from start to finish. Furius Baco - Abomination in ride form. Not a single enjoyable moment for me in any row, any seat. Just atrocious.

My favourite part of that growth is the jump in attendance at Towers thanks to Nemesis

Thanks for posting these pics Josh! I vaguely remember riding Wicked Witches Haunt when I was a child with my Dad (mum & little sis waited outside!) and being absolutely petrified the whole way round! I must have been about 6 or 7 I think. The thing I remember most about it was the suspense in the station. If you look here you can see how it is today - even where the buildings suddenly get "chopped off" where the old building used to be.

You missed the only other song that they played

Insomnia - Now that was one hell of a tune (Plus a sneaky bit of eiffel 65 with I'm Blue da ba de da ba di....)

We are very different!!! I'm not going to pretend to understand much of that, but isn't it great when you can incorporate your passions into work/studies? Secret to a happy life me thinks.

Now, I'm going to go the other way on this. I don't think there is any lack of creativity in the world, and not any less than there used to be. But what there is is too much stuff, too much of everything and too many people wanting to make money off of this everything. Everyone wants more an more and nearly everything that is produced is based solely on its commercial success. That of course breeds copying and repetition. Take television. For years and years there were a few channels, all the creative television minds in the country pushing all their efforts at a few channels. Then Sky happened and there were still a few good channels and loads of cheap crap spread over hundreds of channels. The pool of talent remains the same, as the viewers per channel spread out causing each drop and so do the revenues. There's hundreds of channels, the same amount of quality and a lot of rubbish padding it out, your chances of hitting crap is much greater so the perception of quality falls. Money men control nearly everything, and the future is harder to predict than the past. What do you do then? Repeat what has been popular before, it's the safest bet for making a buck. But the talent and creativity is still out there, it's just having a harder time getting their ideas to you. How do you fix it? You can't, without everyone everywhere rejecting all the substandard easy offerings thrown at us. But people fall for for the promotion promises, the uncreative is successful and the ever decreasing spiral of mainstream quality continues. So as an individual you have to wade through it all and find the quality and originality you crave. It is out there so find it, support it and make it a success.

I think my problem with Saw is down to the idea that it's trying to be an immersive experience and fails. It's nothing to do with the inside piece of the ride, to give Saw full credit, the use of darkness and the small drop is one of Thorpe Parks best roller coaster experiences. It never gets tiresome and always takes me by surprise. It's as soon as the ride goes outside that nothing works for me. The first drop is blase, the inversion boring, the turn around bordering on tiresome, the air time hill has a rattle to it that its brothers don't share, the turn around into the mcbr is randomly jolty. The final inversion is very forceful but it doesn't save the ride for me in the slightest. I think we compare to other euro fighters because the concept has legs, far more then many other types of coasters. You can have them utterly themeless like Speed and Rage or they can be epically themed stories like Fluch or Mystery Mine. The fact that Saw is not amazingly themed or badly themed put its between the others and means comparisons come quickly.